1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,480 Speaker 1: My husband needs to get over his dad's death right now, Wow, 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: pup gaming, Hey, seventh stage is a grief? 3 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 2: Do it in one stage right now? Yeah, I'm gonna 4 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 2: Thanos snap you out of that grief. I'm gonna good 5 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 2: that grief like Charlie Brown. 6 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 1: Now, my boyfriend John great name Uh and I both 7 00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: have been together for four years. For those two years, 8 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: his father, Richard, has had cancer and tragically he passed 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: away three months ago. 10 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,000 Speaker 2: Rough, very rough. 11 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,640 Speaker 1: Richard lived with my boyfriend's sister, Amy, but we've spent 12 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 1: the past two years helping out every single weekend, going 13 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,400 Speaker 1: to hospital visits, staying the night quite often, and the 14 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,520 Speaker 1: three months before he passed away, we were visiting every 15 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: other day as well as helping out with the chores, 16 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 1: cleaning up and giving Amy a break. 17 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:49,280 Speaker 2: Man. They're putting in the work and everything put in 18 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 2: the work, put in the hours. I also what's ours. 19 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: I also really liked Richard and thought he was an 20 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: amazing father, so I was also very upset at the situation. 21 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: When his dad got diagnosed. John requested that I don't 22 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: talk to him about anything negative going on in my 23 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,400 Speaker 1: life because he was too stressed to deal with anyone 24 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: else's petty issues while his father was dying and has 25 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,080 Speaker 1: not seen my family in two years because he said 26 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: he didn't have the mental energy to deal with him. Shit, 27 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 1: a little suspect if you ask me. Uh, he is 28 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: in therapy already and has been for the past two years. 29 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,840 Speaker 1: I complied, and a few times I slipped up and 30 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 1: told him about the things going on in my life. 31 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 2: For two years. It's a long time to not like 32 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 2: be there for. 33 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: Your barn, say one thing, you know, be able to vent. 34 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: One time he told me that it is rude of 35 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,039 Speaker 1: me to talk about my stupid problems when he has 36 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: such big ones going on. 37 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 2: Oh, that's kind of shitty. Yeah, I know you're going 38 00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 2: through a tough time, op or not. Or I know, 39 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 2: like the guy's going through a tough time. But like, 40 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 2: if you're going to be in a relationship, you have 41 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 2: to it's too much. It's too much, you know, ears 42 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 2: a long time. You're getting support, a lot of support 43 00:01:57,800 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 2: from her, Like, yeah, you gotta give a little. 44 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: Last week, I got passed over for a big promotion 45 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: and work even though I've gotten super great reviews, and 46 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: I mentioned how annoyed I was about it once again. 47 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: My boyfriend said he doesn't need to hear about my 48 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 1: small problems while he is grieving. Yep, I've been emotionally 49 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: drained for years at this stage. And I asked him 50 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: when will I be able to talk to him about 51 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 1: my problems without him belittling them? And I said that 52 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: his father being dead does not mean that my problems 53 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: are completely invalid. This is true. I also asked him 54 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,560 Speaker 1: when he thinks our relationship can go back to being 55 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: mutually supportive, and he said, are you seriously asking me 56 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,760 Speaker 1: when I'll beginning over my dad dying? 57 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 2: This guy's kind of like emotionally manipulating her a little bit. 58 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 2: It's a bit too much. Like this is like actual manipulation. 59 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 2: It seems like he's like using his father's death to 60 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 2: not be a good partner. 61 00:02:52,919 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 1: A stute observation. Samuel I said, I was kind of 62 00:02:56,800 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: in a way, and he got really upset. Wow, doubling baby, 63 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: are you asking whatever gonna get over my dying dad? Yes? 64 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: I feel like he's spinning the whole situation as relationships 65 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:11,519 Speaker 1: should be a give and take. 66 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I completely agree. Like I think two years is 67 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,919 Speaker 2: a long time and like that's a weird stipulation to say, like. 68 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 1: You can't talk to me any problems. 69 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,519 Speaker 2: Yeah for two years. Yeah, that's kind of shitty. So 70 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 2: you might understand like, hey, like I really like this, 71 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 2: you know, like a week or even. 72 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: I'm yeah, or just like just like a hey, like 73 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:33,320 Speaker 1: you can share stuff with me, but I might not 74 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: be my my full support of self given everything that's 75 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 1: on my mind. That's a lot more understandable, right, But for. 76 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 2: Two years, it's a long time years. That's like, that 77 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 2: feels like a new normal. 78 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: Leave it. Leave