WEBVTT - Kyle Cease on Linking Laughter with Personal Transformation 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.400 Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes is a production of I 0:00:02.520 --> 0:00:16.080 Heart Radio. Hello my friends, Welcome to Holy Human. I 0:00:16.200 --> 0:00:18.840 have been looking forward to this episode because I find 0:00:18.880 --> 0:00:22.400 my next guest as amusing as he is inspirational, and 0:00:22.680 --> 0:00:26.280 that is a rare combination. Kyle Ceas made a name 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:29.080 for himself as a top comic before turning his gifts 0:00:29.080 --> 0:00:33.440 of laughter into something even more impactful and transformative, and 0:00:33.520 --> 0:00:36.400 he's here to share his wit and wisdom on today's 0:00:36.520 --> 0:01:00.920 Holy Human. Yeattract a welcome to the whole a Human podcasts. 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.400 And we and I've been in each other's lives, but 0:01:03.520 --> 0:01:06.280 not really known each other until like last Friday. I 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:08.640 think actually in person. You were in Ten Things I 0:01:08.640 --> 0:01:12.039 Hate About You, which my ex boyfriend was in so 0:01:12.560 --> 0:01:15.240 like years ago? How I mean, how long ago? Is that? 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:18.640 Not twenties something years ago? It was came out in 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:26.319 March of nine against Commune Tricks. Oh really perfect timing. Uh. 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:29.840 And then now you're my neighbor. Basically I know, I'm 0:01:29.920 --> 0:01:32.800 so you know, I know. We also did Lewis's events 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.360 like back to back, and you know, and i've I've 0:01:35.440 --> 0:01:38.319 I've seen you. It sounds stock or ish, but I 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:42.720 just happened to see you four or five times at 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:46.959 different stores or restaurants around town. Yeah well, just like 0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:52.000 oh LeAnn Rhymes lives around here. Yeah yeah. Well, I'm 0:01:52.000 --> 0:01:55.200 glad that you are now in my life. And it 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:59.000 kind of came about because I stumbled upon your very 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:00.920 first book that you wrote, I Hope I Screw This Up. 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:04.080 And when I started listening to it, it was so 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:10.640 beautiful to hear another performer be so vulnerable about their fears. 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:13.840 And when I started this podcast, that was my very 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.960 first episode was about that. That's how I opened up. 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:19.960 I was like, I'm scared shitless of doing this. I 0:02:20.000 --> 0:02:22.079 don't like the way I sound, I don't like listening 0:02:22.080 --> 0:02:25.160 to myself. I feel stupid, like all the things, all 0:02:25.280 --> 0:02:28.040 the all the things that come up. And when when 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:29.800 I was listening to the audiobook of I Hope I 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:32.080 Screw This Up and you opened that way, I was like, 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:36.120 I have to get to know him because that vulnerability 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:39.000 is so so powerful. In fact, I mean, I text 0:02:39.080 --> 0:02:41.840 you this morning I was like, I'm feeling really really 0:02:41.960 --> 0:02:44.040 raw and vulnerable right now, and I just wanted you 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:48.600 to know because I appreciate people who I can be 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.399 that vulnerable with and I I appreciate that vulnerability being 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.760 put out into the world. Well, well let me ask 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:57.680 you this actually, Well, first of all, thank you for 0:02:57.840 --> 0:03:00.640 the kind words. And I will just say on that note, 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:02.720 we have something in us that thinks you have to 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:06.600 do it right before you do anything, and for for 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:08.880 some reason we forget as a child, you you needed 0:03:08.919 --> 0:03:10.800 a million attempts to learn to walk and you had 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:14.200 to fall over constantly. And yeah, the basis if I 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:16.720 hope I screwed this up is it was written by 0:03:16.760 --> 0:03:20.280 someone who, as a child, was told like I had. 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:23.560 I had terrible comprehension, Like I was so bored actually 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:26.639 just reading the two paragraph thing like a bear goes 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.359 to the store. And then when it's like, now, why 0:03:28.360 --> 0:03:29.760 did the bar goes to store, I'm like, I don't care. 0:03:29.800 --> 0:03:32.200 I really just didn't care. But I you know, I 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:36.480 didn't have amazing grammar and I didn't know how, you know. 0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:38.800 And if you said to that kid, like you're going 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:40.600 to write a book, I'd be like, I don't know 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:42.520 how to do it. And then and then your ego 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:44.240 goes there's all these ways that I need to do 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:46.880 it right. And I thought, what if I just start 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.920 writing exactly what I'm feeling. So so the first like 0:03:51.080 --> 0:03:55.560 eight chapters of the book army struggling and falling apart 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:59.840 about the fact, like the book starts out with me 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:03.760 actually horrified that I'm writing a book. And it literally 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:07.640 the first like whatever eighty pages are me not wanting 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:10.119 to write it, Army freaking out, Army saying I don't 0:04:10.120 --> 0:04:12.920 know how to do this, and you just see these 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:16.839 kind of really comedic deflections. And but the point of 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:20.279 the book is if you stay in the room while 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:24.000 you're in that pain, stuff starts to work itself out. 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:27.840 In fact, I would say I'm really more and more 0:04:27.880 --> 0:04:30.800 comfortable in places where I'm brand new, Like I just 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:34.440 started jiu jitsu and I'm I'm terrible at it. I'm 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:37.600 totally a white belt and I've done like eighteen nineteen 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.480 classes and you know, I'm in choke holds and everything. 0:04:40.480 --> 0:04:42.400 But what I love about it is that I have 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:46.239 so much to learn, and there's so much um falling 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:49.840 over and so much not being an expert in this area, 0:04:50.040 --> 0:04:52.560 and there's it's like a different human gets to exist, 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:56.360 a child and me, a lostness gets to exist. And 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:59.680 so the book after like the eighty pages starts to 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:01.920 write itself. It's almost like I start to get out 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:05.320 of the way once I have been through that willingness 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.400 to do it wrong, and all of a sudden, the 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:09.760 book starts writing itself, and it and it gets better 0:05:09.800 --> 0:05:11.720 and better and better as you keep going. So at 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:14.720 first it's this catastrophe and then it gets better. Then 0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:17.720 I realized that's life. Like if you just okay, like 0:05:17.839 --> 0:05:21.080 you're going to feel less and less nervous with every podcast, 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:24.920 right and because you're just it's just becoming a part 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.680 of you now to do this well. I feel like 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:29.719 they're starting not to interrupt you, but I feel like 0:05:29.720 --> 0:05:31.920 it's the avoidance for me at least, and I think 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:34.240 for a lot of people it's the avoidance of shame. 0:05:34.960 --> 0:05:37.320 We won't let ourselves try the new thing because we're 0:05:37.360 --> 0:05:41.039 trying to avoid being shamed. And for me also, there 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:44.040 is trying to hold up being Lean Rhymes for so 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:48.640 long and feeling like I have to only do the 0:05:48.680 --> 0:05:51.559 things that Lean Rhymes is good at because it's also 0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:56.520 a safe it's a safety mechanism. My livelihood, my money, 0:05:56.560 --> 0:05:59.760 like everything is tied to that. So it's like I'm 0:05:59.760 --> 0:06:02.880 trying to not only avoid shame, but keep myself safe. 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:05.640 And at some point, like you're saying, we forget as kids, 0:06:05.800 --> 0:06:08.799 how many times do we have to fall before we walked? 0:06:08.920 --> 0:06:12.520 And we lose the curiosity at some point and instead 0:06:13.080 --> 0:06:16.120 trade it for safety or the illusion of safety. Well, 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:20.040 how crazy is this. You're not actually avoiding shame from 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:28.000 the outside. You're actually containing shame through the addictive desire 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:30.839 for perfectionism and keeping the story of Leon Rhymes going, 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:35.360 those things going can help you avoid the release of 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:39.720 the shame that exists in the body. And so imagine that, 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:42.280 like everything outside, all the things we want to do 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:44.600 and get right, and all the actions were trying to 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:46.200 take and all the figuring out, and even in the 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:48.400 self help community, I gotta figure this out, I gotta 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:51.760 do this. All of these things are are ways of 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:55.640 avoiding what's trying to just come up and out, like 0:06:55.680 --> 0:06:58.000 there's in your body right now, Like keeping the right 0:06:58.040 --> 0:07:02.320 relationship going, keeping the job. All of these things are 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:05.320 us grabbing something. And if we just lost that, you'd 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:09.920 have to actually be with a feeling of uncertainty, a loneness, 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:14.080 unloved loss. You'd have to be in fear, you'd have 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:18.040 to be you would have to become a space that 0:07:18.120 --> 0:07:21.920 would make that feeling okay. And so imagine like we're 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:26.320 like grabbing onto everything, because if I have some tangible 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.760 vision of the future or an action step or figuring out, 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:34.679 then basically imagine that the old story that of Leanne 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:38.560 Rhymes in the successful um way that we know you. 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:45.320 Imagine like if that collapses, then what comes out is 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:48.600 like something that was buried in the body. Imagine we're 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:53.720 keeping that story to not release something that's in the body. 0:07:54.760 --> 0:07:57.680 And imagine, of course you're still Leanne Rhymes and you'll 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:02.320 still be singing incredibly at It's not even that anything 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:05.200 from the past would actually fall, but our attachment to 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:09.040 it would, right, And so if we just let it 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:14.120 fall for a second, right, and we're just here, then 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:16.520 what happens is there's an inner child. There's a you 0:08:16.680 --> 0:08:19.680 that's sitting here that's finally being seen. So imagine you 0:08:19.680 --> 0:08:22.280 have an inner child, and in fact make it another kid. 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:23.720 If I make it my I have a four year 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:28.440 old daughter. Imagine if she's saying I feel unloved, and 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:31.480 imagine when she says I feel unloved, if I turn 0:08:31.560 --> 0:08:33.880 away from her and go well, let's find someone to 0:08:33.960 --> 0:08:37.440 love you, and let's get the neighbors to like you. 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:39.600 Let's put on makeup so they'll think that you're amazing 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:42.360 and then like you. What she needs is me to 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.199 like her. What she needs is me to say I 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:47.679 hear you, and she almost needs me to say, you're 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:52.400 allowed to feel unloved. Here. Imagine if I just was like, 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:54.120 you're allowed to So if I say to the pain 0:08:54.160 --> 0:08:55.720 in my body, this is like a thing I spent 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:58.160 the last year and a half doing. You're allowed to 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.640 feel shame in my body. You're allowed to feel unloved. 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:04.880 And and the space that I became was like I 0:09:04.920 --> 0:09:09.320 became the parent for the shame that's in the body. 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:13.040 So when you were saying you're feeling vulnerable this morning, 0:09:13.800 --> 0:09:16.040 like what would you see say the feeling was that 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:20.120 was coming up? Like what was the Oh? So I 0:09:20.200 --> 0:09:23.040 was just I was terrified for a moment. And something 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:26.040 I've learned from your book was I'm scared and I 0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:29.480 love you. I love this, I love this feeling and 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:32.200 in which and I did use it this morning. I 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:36.080 was like, I'm scared and I love this, like and 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:38.959 it did. It did shift something in me because I 0:09:39.280 --> 0:09:43.920 also knew because of my fear. It's because I care. Yes, 0:09:44.000 --> 0:09:46.200 there's a shadow piece of that, of the perfection, and 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.600 I want to be good at it and all the things, 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:53.280 But ultimately it's because I care, and it's because I'll 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.160 start crying. It's because I want people to listen to 0:09:56.200 --> 0:10:02.120 this and and received something that shifts them, that changes 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:04.880 something for them, that that makes it not even that 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:08.680 just just that makes an impact, and that's really what 0:10:08.800 --> 0:10:12.120 it's about. And so when I started to get into 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:17.839 that piece for myself, it was like, oh I trust now, yes, Well, 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:20.680 here's the ironic twist. Is this type of fall apart 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:23.839 that lets go of how perfectly you do this so 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:27.280 that other people get the lesson ends up doing even better, 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:31.880 Like do you falling apart in your vulnerability is like 0:10:32.280 --> 0:10:34.560 the it's like you're letting go of the hold on 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:39.160 to how you see that this podcast will go for them. 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.560 And one thing that your inner child could use is 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:44.600 the letting go of the results for other people for 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:49.880 a second, Like imagine imagine releasing the how it looks, 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:53.440 how it goes, and instead we just trust that the 0:10:53.520 --> 0:10:58.240 authentic you that's unfolding here, that's here right, now is 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:01.760 enough and is even more remission. Would we rather you 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:04.760 turn from a caterpillar to a butterfly on the podcast, 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:07.880 or would we rather that and a caterpillar energy? Is 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:11.440 I got to get everyone else to shift right right, 0:11:11.559 --> 0:11:12.960 or there's a lot of us that are moving into 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:16.520 our butterfly that that won't fly until all the caterpillars 0:11:16.520 --> 0:11:20.720 we know fly too. And and that's the last ditch 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:23.360 addiction of the butterfly. It's like, if I'm hanging with 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:26.600 caterpillar energy, I have to stay walking and not fly. 0:11:27.320 --> 0:11:29.800 And like I think the greatest shift, like my events 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:32.679 are called evolving out loud because it's literally just me 0:11:32.880 --> 0:11:36.840 evolving and and the byproduct is the people can take 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.439 what they want with it. But I'm not I'm not 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:42.600 caught on alright, I try to not be. Of course 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:44.760 I am somewhat, but I less and less I'm caught 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.880 on what the results are, how well it goes, because 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.679 I'd rather shift me and let the energy of that 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:57.120 shifted me go into the work, then have a half me, 0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:01.599 half what the audience thinks of me. Right, yeah, no, 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:03.920 that makes complete sense. And I know that that's been 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.320 shifting for me to like I've been getting up in 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:08.559 the morning, and I think the last thing that I've 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:13.080 started to really focus on or connect with has been 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:15.760 my body. And I get up every morning and I 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.800 have this routine of moving my lymphatic system and like 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:21.800 just kind of getting more into my body. It takes about, 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:23.400 you know, the half an ourt of forty five minutes, 0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:25.800 and it's it's just been something that I've really loved. 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:28.240 And it usually when I've been focusing on my body, 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:31.840 it's been because of external reasons because once again, I 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:33.920 want to avoid shame. I want to avoid you know, 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:37.240 I have to have to look good. And because I've 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:39.640 had this new kind of relationship with my body went 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:41.800 after when I go to work out, my workout has 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:44.040 been because I want to move my body like it 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:48.800 feels good to move, instead of being externally focused of 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.680 what will this get me? What I'm starting to get 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:56.520 from it has been even I've been working on working 0:12:56.520 --> 0:12:59.000 with my voice also, which is a new thing for me. 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:01.199 I feel like I got to go out of practice 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:04.080 being you know, not being on the road. And what 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.480 I'm starting to realize is that I'm wanting to do 0:13:06.520 --> 0:13:09.640 the thing for these things for me because I want 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:12.600 to feel good and also see how great I can 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:15.520 be for me. And I think that's a huge, huge 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:19.520 shift because we're constantly thinking like, what is this going 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:23.240 to get me externally instead of how is this going 0:13:23.280 --> 0:13:26.240 to make me feel? And because I think for me, 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.360 the biggest shift right now has been my own sense 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:33.480 of self worth. And until I've started to shift that, 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.800 I wasn't able to do anything for me. So what 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:42.640 if right now, part of this crazy time and beyond 0:13:43.800 --> 0:13:46.040 is actually like, instead of looking at it from what 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:48.480 the government's doing or politically or whatever, we look at 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:52.000 it from the universe's perspective. I love to see this 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.560 from the universe's perspective because what I see, what you 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:58.120 just said, the part of you, like that's the image, 0:13:58.160 --> 0:14:00.440 the part of you that that worked out so that 0:14:00.520 --> 0:14:02.439 you aren't shamed or so that you look good, or 0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:06.880 you're just doing it to not lose something, right, You're 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.280 really doing it to not lose something, not lose approval 0:14:09.440 --> 0:14:13.200 or fans or you know, not be getting crap from 0:14:13.520 --> 0:14:18.280 tabloids or whatever. Right what if that whole world for 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:22.240 all of us and as as humanity is being pulled 0:14:22.280 --> 0:14:25.760 from us right now? What if under what we're scared 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:29.280 to lose is the childhood trauma that created the need 0:14:29.360 --> 0:14:33.760 for those things in the first place, Right, Like, for me, 0:14:33.880 --> 0:14:35.920 there were times where I didn't feel safe as a child, 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.840 and um, I noticed one of the greatest ways I 0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.680 could bond with my father was through comedy, and I 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.160 naturally became a stand up comedian at a young age 0:14:45.160 --> 0:14:47.280 and it was a total thing for me. But what 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:50.000 if comedy was also a way to like be seen 0:14:50.520 --> 0:14:53.560 by my parents? Like what if? What if? And it's like, 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:55.920 I'm scared to know who I am if I'm not seen. 0:14:56.040 --> 0:14:59.240 So what if I had a crazy comedy career and 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:04.400 and did like thirty years of performing as a way 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:07.120 to not have to face the part of me that 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:11.320 feels abandoned? Right? And what if now God's going in 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:14.560 and just grabbing that abandoned trauma and pulling it out 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:16.560 of me and all of us. Right, It's just like 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.920 I'm going to make you face your deepest trauma of 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:25.120 of abandonment, of loss or whatever. And then inevitably on 0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:26.840 the other side of this, and I believe that that 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:29.760 stuff is falling off really rapidly now, off of all 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.080 of us. What if on the other side of that 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:35.080 is the actual you that you've never met but you 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:39.400 actually are, meaning like, the you that doesn't have to 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:42.320 carry the image of lean rhymes, the you that doesn't 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:46.520 have to carry how you look is working out because 0:15:46.600 --> 0:15:49.800 you want to move your body and you're actually truly 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:53.160 making your connection to your body number one. Ironically, as 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:57.239 a byproduct, more people connect to you because that's permission 0:15:57.320 --> 0:16:00.240 for them to do it versus that you're an incredible inger. 0:16:00.320 --> 0:16:04.880 It's like the you that's actually here right now. All 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:06.960 of us are going through this right now, all of 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:10.840 us are losing every identifiable thing that we thought we 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:14.920 were because in you could have enough of a job 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:17.280 or a decent enough relationship to not have to look 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:20.280 at your crap. But then broke all of our patterns 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:22.920 and it was like we have to like get present 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:24.360 with us. And then now you can't even go to 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:28.560 a restaurant in some places, you can't travel, you can't right, 0:16:28.680 --> 0:16:32.560 So now you're faced with you, right, and so we're 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:34.880 it's like God's giving us like a two year time 0:16:34.880 --> 0:16:37.560 out where we all have to like meditate and you 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:39.560 can't even say what you feel at a store because 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:42.400 you have a muzzle on now and like what's on 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:45.200 the other side of that is you, and there's a you, 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:47.920 and it's hard. You know when people say it's hard 0:16:47.960 --> 0:16:51.040 to leave a situation that's in lack, like if you 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:53.480 grew up in a really bad area, that's hard to leave, 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:55.560 you know, that's a hard thing to grow up with. 0:16:55.760 --> 0:16:59.840 I have to say, I think leaving an abundant circumstance 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:04.600 is also crazy hard. Like you, you're letting go of 0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:09.000 a world where you've got so much love for and 0:17:09.000 --> 0:17:11.200 and so much attention and so much in a way 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:16.679 of protection from those traumas by being a household named 0:17:16.720 --> 0:17:20.360 star and in a way, we're going to give up 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:24.480 the attachment to that, which just got to be so 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:27.360 hard because you're in like the best of the cages. 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.080 Do you get what I mean? Like, oh, for sure, Yeah, 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:33.960 it's the best possible cage, best possible scenario, cage leather, 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:38.200 it's it's gold plated, it's not you know. Well, that's 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.960 what amazed me about your story and why I related 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:43.080 to it so much, was that you know, here you 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:45.280 are as a comedian at the top of your game, 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:49.520 and then you're like, I'm I'm done, Like I'm not 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:53.320 going to go out and chase that anymore and and perform, 0:17:53.440 --> 0:17:57.960 and what craziness got into you? And that's the thing. 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.119 That's what a lot of people would think. Well, you men, 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:02.159 were you meditating at the time, like, did you have 0:18:02.240 --> 0:18:05.800 a spiritual experience? Okay, okay, I want to tell you 0:18:05.800 --> 0:18:08.920 that story. Yes, please, Well it was. It's a combination 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.240 of things. There was. There was a combination of reasons 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:13.120 that I left stand up and I did. I had 0:18:13.160 --> 0:18:16.800 two Comedy Central specials, I had I toured over a 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:20.119 thousand colleges, I had headlined almost every comedy club in 0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:21.919 the country, and I had a major you know, I 0:18:21.920 --> 0:18:24.720 had teen movies. I had all this different career and 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:28.119 I was doing really big rooms and successful as a 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:31.359 stand up comic. And at one point I had a shift? 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:33.840 Did it? I'll just tell you the quick version of 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:37.040 it that basically, I was full of anxiety and I 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:41.239 got a Tony Robbin's book and started learning motivation. And 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:43.880 this was the first shift. This was the first. That's 0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.520 not the big shift that happened after. But I went 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:51.680 from basically, you know, suicidal anxiety to number one Comedy 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:54.200 Central special just by changing my thinking that how can 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:57.399 I have number one. And then I had the second 0:18:57.400 --> 0:19:01.879 part of me that was very excited to show everyone 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:04.800 else this. And I went through this first shift and 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:08.040 was like, I wanted to motivate everybody. So I started 0:19:08.080 --> 0:19:12.360 teaching aspiring stand up comedians that they could do this too, 0:19:12.520 --> 0:19:15.160 And so I got really driven, and I hired some 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:17.959 you know, and brought in different famous headliners to come 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:23.280 speak to aspiring young comics, and Louis Anderson the comedian, 0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:26.480 partnered with me, and I would hear through the grape 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:28.600 vine here I was this crazy. I was like, all 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:30.720 of a sudden along with stand up doing this kind 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:33.720 of Tony Robbins in the comedy saying I'm teaching people 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:37.800 motivation and stuff. And I forgot that overall a lot 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:42.600 of comedians are primarily cynical, like they're and so here 0:19:42.640 --> 0:19:46.920 I am in this positive state saying you can do anything. 0:19:47.119 --> 0:19:49.679 And I would hear through the grapevine that peers of 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:52.600 mine that we're different headlining comics. We're saying Kyle's gone 0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:55.560 off the deep end, he's crazy and stuff like that, 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:59.320 and he's just like he must be a cult leader now, 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:03.000 or he's a science ecologist, or he's whatever, and it 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:05.359 really hurt, and I noticed there was a part of 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:09.959 me that it hurt. On that note, we are going 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:12.000 to take a super quick break, but we'll be right 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:14.640 back to break down what paying close attention to those 0:20:14.640 --> 0:20:24.679 emotional triggers can teach you. Welcome Back loves Kyle was 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:28.199 just sharing a story about how powerfully other people's perceptions 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:32.239 of you can impact your own sense of self. One day, 0:20:32.240 --> 0:20:35.400 I was sitting with Louie Anderson at breakfast and I said, 0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:37.760 I really want to get over what people think about me. 0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:39.600 And what's great is I didn't say I want to 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:41.360 change what people think about me. I said I want 0:20:41.359 --> 0:20:44.320 to get over it, right like I and and so 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:47.119 I then went to my hotel and there was a 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:48.760 car that was going to take me to the airport. 0:20:49.000 --> 0:20:50.760 And I get an email and it says, hey, you 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:53.200 con man. I read with this comic wrote a blow 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:56.960 about you, and a comic that I didn't know that 0:20:57.119 --> 0:21:01.280 was pretty well known, had to, you know, very very 0:21:01.359 --> 0:21:03.920 dark energy that I'm not judging. I'm just saying he's 0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:06.680 he's known for constantly drinking and different things like that, 0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:12.520 um and and kind of calling bullshit like a darker 0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:16.480 George Carlin kind of vibe. He wrote this blog about 0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:20.680 me and uh spelled out how I must be scamming 0:21:20.720 --> 0:21:23.399 people for money, how I must be sleeping with Louie, 0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:26.520 how I must be like you know, it was crazy, 0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:29.640 and it was also very funny, and it really articulated 0:21:29.680 --> 0:21:32.560 a lot of points that weren't right. But he did 0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:35.840 it really well and sold why I am a terrible 0:21:35.880 --> 0:21:40.080 person and on it well, definitely. I mean, there was 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:42.879 a part of me that what was crazy was and 0:21:42.920 --> 0:21:46.719 so right after we posted it, all these comics retweeted 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:49.800 it right and I had just said, this is what 0:21:49.880 --> 0:21:52.240 was amazing about it. I had just said to Louie, 0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:54.199 I want to get over what people think about me. 0:21:54.800 --> 0:21:57.240 And then the universe was like, well, let's make it 0:21:57.680 --> 0:22:01.399 so it's so unavoidable that it's like you have to 0:22:01.480 --> 0:22:05.440 release full control of what people think about you. So 0:22:05.640 --> 0:22:11.880 I knew enough to know that I'm about to learn 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:15.320 something that I didn't know that I need to know. 0:22:15.480 --> 0:22:16.959 Like I had, I had enough in me to go 0:22:17.119 --> 0:22:21.600 there's a whole new thing trying to happen. And I 0:22:21.720 --> 0:22:23.679 told the car that was going to take me to 0:22:23.680 --> 0:22:26.479 the airport to go without me, and I decided to 0:22:27.119 --> 0:22:30.879