Speaker 1: Holy Human with Leanne Rhymes is a production of I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. Hello my friends, Welcome to Holy Human. I
Speaker 1: have been looking forward to this episode because I find
Speaker 1: my next guest as amusing as he is inspirational, and
Speaker 1: that is a rare combination. Kyle Ceas made a name
Speaker 1: for himself as a top comic before turning his gifts
Speaker 1: of laughter into something even more impactful and transformative, and
Speaker 1: he's here to share his wit and wisdom on today's
Speaker 1: Holy Human. Yeattract a welcome to the whole a Human podcasts.
Speaker 1: And we and I've been in each other's lives, but
Speaker 1: not really known each other until like last Friday. I
Speaker 1: think actually in person. You were in Ten Things I
Speaker 1: Hate About You, which my ex boyfriend was in so
Speaker 1: like years ago? How I mean, how long ago? Is that?
Speaker 1: Not twenties something years ago? It was came out in
Speaker 1: March of nine against Commune Tricks. Oh really perfect timing. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then now you're my neighbor. Basically I know, I'm
Speaker 1: so you know, I know. We also did Lewis's events
Speaker 1: like back to back, and you know, and i've I've
Speaker 1: I've seen you. It sounds stock or ish, but I
Speaker 1: just happened to see you four or five times at
Speaker 1: different stores or restaurants around town. Yeah well, just like
Speaker 1: oh LeAnn Rhymes lives around here. Yeah yeah. Well, I'm
Speaker 1: glad that you are now in my life. And it
Speaker 1: kind of came about because I stumbled upon your very
Speaker 1: first book that you wrote, I Hope I Screw This Up.
Speaker 1: And when I started listening to it, it was so
Speaker 1: beautiful to hear another performer be so vulnerable about their fears.
Speaker 1: And when I started this podcast, that was my very
Speaker 1: first episode was about that. That's how I opened up.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm scared shitless of doing this. I
Speaker 1: don't like the way I sound, I don't like listening
Speaker 1: to myself. I feel stupid, like all the things, all
Speaker 1: the all the things that come up. And when when
Speaker 1: I was listening to the audiobook of I Hope I
Speaker 1: Screw This Up and you opened that way, I was like,
Speaker 1: I have to get to know him because that vulnerability
Speaker 1: is so so powerful. In fact, I mean, I text
Speaker 1: you this morning I was like, I'm feeling really really
Speaker 1: raw and vulnerable right now, and I just wanted you
Speaker 1: to know because I appreciate people who I can be
Speaker 1: that vulnerable with and I I appreciate that vulnerability being
Speaker 1: put out into the world. Well, well let me ask
Speaker 1: you this actually, Well, first of all, thank you for
Speaker 1: the kind words. And I will just say on that note,
Speaker 1: we have something in us that thinks you have to
Speaker 1: do it right before you do anything, and for for
Speaker 1: some reason we forget as a child, you you needed
Speaker 1: a million attempts to learn to walk and you had
Speaker 1: to fall over constantly. And yeah, the basis if I
Speaker 1: hope I screwed this up is it was written by
Speaker 1: someone who, as a child, was told like I had.
Speaker 1: I had terrible comprehension, Like I was so bored actually
Speaker 1: just reading the two paragraph thing like a bear goes
Speaker 1: to the store. And then when it's like, now, why
Speaker 1: did the bar goes to store, I'm like, I don't care.
Speaker 1: I really just didn't care. But I you know, I
Speaker 1: didn't have amazing grammar and I didn't know how, you know.
Speaker 1: And if you said to that kid, like you're going
Speaker 1: to write a book, I'd be like, I don't know
Speaker 1: how to do it. And then and then your ego
Speaker 1: goes there's all these ways that I need to do
Speaker 1: it right. And I thought, what if I just start
Speaker 1: writing exactly what I'm feeling. So so the first like
Speaker 1: eight chapters of the book army struggling and falling apart
Speaker 1: about the fact, like the book starts out with me
Speaker 1: actually horrified that I'm writing a book. And it literally
Speaker 1: the first like whatever eighty pages are me not wanting
Speaker 1: to write it, Army freaking out, Army saying I don't
Speaker 1: know how to do this, and you just see these
Speaker 1: kind of really comedic deflections. And but the point of
Speaker 1: the book is if you stay in the room while
Speaker 1: you're in that pain, stuff starts to work itself out.
Speaker 1: In fact, I would say I'm really more and more
Speaker 1: comfortable in places where I'm brand new, Like I just
Speaker 1: started jiu jitsu and I'm I'm terrible at it. I'm
Speaker 1: totally a white belt and I've done like eighteen nineteen
Speaker 1: classes and you know, I'm in choke holds and everything.
Speaker 1: But what I love about it is that I have
Speaker 1: so much to learn, and there's so much um falling
Speaker 1: over and so much not being an expert in this area,
Speaker 1: and there's it's like a different human gets to exist,
Speaker 1: a child and me, a lostness gets to exist. And
Speaker 1: so the book after like the eighty pages starts to
Speaker 1: write itself. It's almost like I start to get out
Speaker 1: of the way once I have been through that willingness
Speaker 1: to do it wrong, and all of a sudden, the
Speaker 1: book starts writing itself, and it and it gets better
Speaker 1: and better and better as you keep going. So at
Speaker 1: first it's this catastrophe and then it gets better. Then
Speaker 1: I realized that's life. Like if you just okay, like
Speaker 1: you're going to feel less and less nervous with every podcast,
Speaker 1: right and because you're just it's just becoming a part
Speaker 1: of you now to do this well. I feel like
Speaker 1: they're starting not to interrupt you, but I feel like
Speaker 1: it's the avoidance for me at least, and I think
Speaker 1: for a lot of people it's the avoidance of shame.
Speaker 1: We won't let ourselves try the new thing because we're
Speaker 1: trying to avoid being shamed. And for me also, there
Speaker 1: is trying to hold up being Lean Rhymes for so
Speaker 1: long and feeling like I have to only do the
Speaker 1: things that Lean Rhymes is good at because it's also
Speaker 1: a safe it's a safety mechanism. My livelihood, my money,
Speaker 1: like everything is tied to that. So it's like I'm
Speaker 1: trying to not only avoid shame, but keep myself safe.
Speaker 1: And at some point, like you're saying, we forget as kids,
Speaker 1: how many times do we have to fall before we walked?
Speaker 1: And we lose the curiosity at some point and instead
Speaker 1: trade it for safety or the illusion of safety. Well,
Speaker 1: how crazy is this. You're not actually avoiding shame from
Speaker 1: the outside. You're actually containing shame through the addictive desire
Speaker 1: for perfectionism and keeping the story of Leon Rhymes going,
Speaker 1: those things going can help you avoid the release of
Speaker 1: the shame that exists in the body. And so imagine that,
Speaker 1: like everything outside, all the things we want to do
Speaker 1: and get right, and all the actions were trying to
Speaker 1: take and all the figuring out, and even in the
Speaker 1: self help community, I gotta figure this out, I gotta
Speaker 1: do this. All of these things are are ways of
Speaker 1: avoiding what's trying to just come up and out, like
Speaker 1: there's in your body right now, Like keeping the right
Speaker 1: relationship going, keeping the job. All of these things are
Speaker 1: us grabbing something. And if we just lost that, you'd
Speaker 1: have to actually be with a feeling of uncertainty, a loneness,
Speaker 1: unloved loss. You'd have to be in fear, you'd have
Speaker 1: to be you would have to become a space that
Speaker 1: would make that feeling okay. And so imagine like we're
Speaker 1: like grabbing onto everything, because if I have some tangible
Speaker 1: vision of the future or an action step or figuring out,
Speaker 1: then basically imagine that the old story that of Leanne
Speaker 1: Rhymes in the successful um way that we know you.
Speaker 1: Imagine like if that collapses, then what comes out is
Speaker 1: like something that was buried in the body. Imagine we're
Speaker 1: keeping that story to not release something that's in the body.
Speaker 1: And imagine, of course you're still Leanne Rhymes and you'll
Speaker 1: still be singing incredibly at It's not even that anything
Speaker 1: from the past would actually fall, but our attachment to
Speaker 1: it would, right, And so if we just let it
Speaker 1: fall for a second, right, and we're just here, then
Speaker 1: what happens is there's an inner child. There's a you
Speaker 1: that's sitting here that's finally being seen. So imagine you
Speaker 1: have an inner child, and in fact make it another kid.
Speaker 1: If I make it my I have a four year
Speaker 1: old daughter. Imagine if she's saying I feel unloved, and
Speaker 1: imagine when she says I feel unloved, if I turn
Speaker 1: away from her and go well, let's find someone to
Speaker 1: love you, and let's get the neighbors to like you.
Speaker 1: Let's put on makeup so they'll think that you're amazing
Speaker 1: and then like you. What she needs is me to
Speaker 1: like her. What she needs is me to say I
Speaker 1: hear you, and she almost needs me to say, you're
Speaker 1: allowed to feel unloved. Here. Imagine if I just was like,
Speaker 1: you're allowed to So if I say to the pain
Speaker 1: in my body, this is like a thing I spent
Speaker 1: the last year and a half doing. You're allowed to
Speaker 1: feel shame in my body. You're allowed to feel unloved.
Speaker 1: And and the space that I became was like I
Speaker 1: became the parent for the shame that's in the body.
Speaker 1: So when you were saying you're feeling vulnerable this morning,
Speaker 1: like what would you see say the feeling was that
Speaker 1: was coming up? Like what was the Oh? So I
Speaker 1: was just I was terrified for a moment. And something
Speaker 1: I've learned from your book was I'm scared and I
Speaker 1: love you. I love this, I love this feeling and
Speaker 1: in which and I did use it this morning. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm scared and I love this, like and
Speaker 1: it did. It did shift something in me because I
Speaker 1: also knew because of my fear. It's because I care. Yes,
Speaker 1: there's a shadow piece of that, of the perfection, and
Speaker 1: I want to be good at it and all the things,
Speaker 1: But ultimately it's because I care, and it's because I'll
Speaker 1: start crying. It's because I want people to listen to
Speaker 1: this and and received something that shifts them, that changes
Speaker 1: something for them, that that makes it not even that
Speaker 1: just just that makes an impact, and that's really what
Speaker 1: it's about. And so when I started to get into
Speaker 1: that piece for myself, it was like, oh I trust now, yes, Well,
Speaker 1: here's the ironic twist. Is this type of fall apart
Speaker 1: that lets go of how perfectly you do this so
Speaker 1: that other people get the lesson ends up doing even better,
Speaker 1: Like do you falling apart in your vulnerability is like
Speaker 1: the it's like you're letting go of the hold on
Speaker 1: to how you see that this podcast will go for them.
Speaker 1: And one thing that your inner child could use is
Speaker 1: the letting go of the results for other people for
Speaker 1: a second, Like imagine imagine releasing the how it looks,
Speaker 1: how it goes, and instead we just trust that the
Speaker 1: authentic you that's unfolding here, that's here right, now is
Speaker 1: enough and is even more remission. Would we rather you
Speaker 1: turn from a caterpillar to a butterfly on the podcast,
Speaker 1: or would we rather that and a caterpillar energy? Is
Speaker 1: I got to get everyone else to shift right right,
Speaker 1: or there's a lot of us that are moving into
Speaker 1: our butterfly that that won't fly until all the caterpillars
Speaker 1: we know fly too. And and that's the last ditch
Speaker 1: addiction of the butterfly. It's like, if I'm hanging with
Speaker 1: caterpillar energy, I have to stay walking and not fly.
Speaker 1: And like I think the greatest shift, like my events
Speaker 1: are called evolving out loud because it's literally just me
Speaker 1: evolving and and the byproduct is the people can take
Speaker 1: what they want with it. But I'm not I'm not
Speaker 1: caught on alright, I try to not be. Of course
Speaker 1: I am somewhat, but I less and less I'm caught
Speaker 1: on what the results are, how well it goes, because
Speaker 1: I'd rather shift me and let the energy of that
Speaker 1: shifted me go into the work, then have a half me,
Speaker 1: half what the audience thinks of me. Right, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that makes complete sense. And I know that that's been
Speaker 1: shifting for me to like I've been getting up in
Speaker 1: the morning, and I think the last thing that I've
Speaker 1: started to really focus on or connect with has been
Speaker 1: my body. And I get up every morning and I
Speaker 1: have this routine of moving my lymphatic system and like
Speaker 1: just kind of getting more into my body. It takes about,
Speaker 1: you know, the half an ourt of forty five minutes,
Speaker 1: and it's it's just been something that I've really loved.
Speaker 1: And it usually when I've been focusing on my body,
Speaker 1: it's been because of external reasons because once again, I
Speaker 1: want to avoid shame. I want to avoid you know,
Speaker 1: I have to have to look good. And because I've
Speaker 1: had this new kind of relationship with my body went
Speaker 1: after when I go to work out, my workout has
Speaker 1: been because I want to move my body like it
Speaker 1: feels good to move, instead of being externally focused of
Speaker 1: what will this get me? What I'm starting to get
Speaker 1: from it has been even I've been working on working
Speaker 1: with my voice also, which is a new thing for me.
Speaker 1: I feel like I got to go out of practice
Speaker 1: being you know, not being on the road. And what
Speaker 1: I'm starting to realize is that I'm wanting to do
Speaker 1: the thing for these things for me because I want
Speaker 1: to feel good and also see how great I can
Speaker 1: be for me. And I think that's a huge, huge
Speaker 1: shift because we're constantly thinking like, what is this going
Speaker 1: to get me externally instead of how is this going
Speaker 1: to make me feel? And because I think for me,
Speaker 1: the biggest shift right now has been my own sense
Speaker 1: of self worth. And until I've started to shift that,
Speaker 1: I wasn't able to do anything for me. So what
Speaker 1: if right now, part of this crazy time and beyond
Speaker 1: is actually like, instead of looking at it from what
Speaker 1: the government's doing or politically or whatever, we look at
Speaker 1: it from the universe's perspective. I love to see this
Speaker 1: from the universe's perspective because what I see, what you
Speaker 1: just said, the part of you, like that's the image,
Speaker 1: the part of you that that worked out so that
Speaker 1: you aren't shamed or so that you look good, or
Speaker 1: you're just doing it to not lose something, right, You're
Speaker 1: really doing it to not lose something, not lose approval
Speaker 1: or fans or you know, not be getting crap from
Speaker 1: tabloids or whatever. Right what if that whole world for
Speaker 1: all of us and as as humanity is being pulled
Speaker 1: from us right now? What if under what we're scared
Speaker 1: to lose is the childhood trauma that created the need
Speaker 1: for those things in the first place, Right, Like, for me,
Speaker 1: there were times where I didn't feel safe as a child,
Speaker 1: and um, I noticed one of the greatest ways I
Speaker 1: could bond with my father was through comedy, and I
Speaker 1: naturally became a stand up comedian at a young age
Speaker 1: and it was a total thing for me. But what
Speaker 1: if comedy was also a way to like be seen
Speaker 1: by my parents? Like what if? What if? And it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm scared to know who I am if I'm not seen.
Speaker 1: So what if I had a crazy comedy career and
Speaker 1: and did like thirty years of performing as a way
Speaker 1: to not have to face the part of me that
Speaker 1: feels abandoned? Right? And what if now God's going in
Speaker 1: and just grabbing that abandoned trauma and pulling it out
Speaker 1: of me and all of us. Right, It's just like
Speaker 1: I'm going to make you face your deepest trauma of
Speaker 1: of abandonment, of loss or whatever. And then inevitably on
Speaker 1: the other side of this, and I believe that that
Speaker 1: stuff is falling off really rapidly now, off of all
Speaker 1: of us. What if on the other side of that
Speaker 1: is the actual you that you've never met but you
Speaker 1: actually are, meaning like, the you that doesn't have to
Speaker 1: carry the image of lean rhymes, the you that doesn't
Speaker 1: have to carry how you look is working out because
Speaker 1: you want to move your body and you're actually truly
Speaker 1: making your connection to your body number one. Ironically, as
Speaker 1: a byproduct, more people connect to you because that's permission
Speaker 1: for them to do it versus that you're an incredible inger.
Speaker 1: It's like the you that's actually here right now. All
Speaker 1: of us are going through this right now, all of
Speaker 1: us are losing every identifiable thing that we thought we
Speaker 1: were because in you could have enough of a job
Speaker 1: or a decent enough relationship to not have to look
Speaker 1: at your crap. But then broke all of our patterns
Speaker 1: and it was like we have to like get present
Speaker 1: with us. And then now you can't even go to
Speaker 1: a restaurant in some places, you can't travel, you can't right,
Speaker 1: So now you're faced with you, right, and so we're
Speaker 1: it's like God's giving us like a two year time
Speaker 1: out where we all have to like meditate and you
Speaker 1: can't even say what you feel at a store because
Speaker 1: you have a muzzle on now and like what's on
Speaker 1: the other side of that is you, and there's a you,
Speaker 1: and it's hard. You know when people say it's hard
Speaker 1: to leave a situation that's in lack, like if you
Speaker 1: grew up in a really bad area, that's hard to leave,
Speaker 1: you know, that's a hard thing to grow up with.
Speaker 1: I have to say, I think leaving an abundant circumstance
Speaker 1: is also crazy hard. Like you, you're letting go of
Speaker 1: a world where you've got so much love for and
Speaker 1: and so much attention and so much in a way
Speaker 1: of protection from those traumas by being a household named
Speaker 1: star and in a way, we're going to give up
Speaker 1: the attachment to that, which just got to be so
Speaker 1: hard because you're in like the best of the cages.
Speaker 1: Do you get what I mean? Like, oh, for sure, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's the best possible cage, best possible scenario, cage leather,
Speaker 1: it's it's gold plated, it's not you know. Well, that's
Speaker 1: what amazed me about your story and why I related
Speaker 1: to it so much, was that you know, here you
Speaker 1: are as a comedian at the top of your game,
Speaker 1: and then you're like, I'm I'm done, Like I'm not
Speaker 1: going to go out and chase that anymore and and perform,
Speaker 1: and what craziness got into you? And that's the thing.
Speaker 1: That's what a lot of people would think. Well, you men,
Speaker 1: were you meditating at the time, like, did you have
Speaker 1: a spiritual experience? Okay, okay, I want to tell you
Speaker 1: that story. Yes, please, Well it was. It's a combination
Speaker 1: of things. There was. There was a combination of reasons
Speaker 1: that I left stand up and I did. I had
Speaker 1: two Comedy Central specials, I had I toured over a
Speaker 1: thousand colleges, I had headlined almost every comedy club in
Speaker 1: the country, and I had a major you know, I
Speaker 1: had teen movies. I had all this different career and
Speaker 1: I was doing really big rooms and successful as a
Speaker 1: stand up comic. And at one point I had a shift?
Speaker 1: Did it? I'll just tell you the quick version of
Speaker 1: it that basically, I was full of anxiety and I
Speaker 1: got a Tony Robbin's book and started learning motivation. And
Speaker 1: this was the first shift. This was the first. That's
Speaker 1: not the big shift that happened after. But I went
Speaker 1: from basically, you know, suicidal anxiety to number one Comedy
Speaker 1: Central special just by changing my thinking that how can
Speaker 1: I have number one. And then I had the second
Speaker 1: part of me that was very excited to show everyone
Speaker 1: else this. And I went through this first shift and
Speaker 1: was like, I wanted to motivate everybody. So I started
Speaker 1: teaching aspiring stand up comedians that they could do this too,
Speaker 1: And so I got really driven, and I hired some
Speaker 1: you know, and brought in different famous headliners to come
Speaker 1: speak to aspiring young comics, and Louis Anderson the comedian,
Speaker 1: partnered with me, and I would hear through the grape
Speaker 1: vine here I was this crazy. I was like, all
Speaker 1: of a sudden along with stand up doing this kind
Speaker 1: of Tony Robbins in the comedy saying I'm teaching people
Speaker 1: motivation and stuff. And I forgot that overall a lot
Speaker 1: of comedians are primarily cynical, like they're and so here
Speaker 1: I am in this positive state saying you can do anything.
Speaker 1: And I would hear through the grapevine that peers of
Speaker 1: mine that we're different headlining comics. We're saying Kyle's gone
Speaker 1: off the deep end, he's crazy and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: and he's just like he must be a cult leader now,
Speaker 1: or he's a science ecologist, or he's whatever, and it
Speaker 1: really hurt, and I noticed there was a part of
Speaker 1: me that it hurt. On that note, we are going
Speaker 1: to take a super quick break, but we'll be right
Speaker 1: back to break down what paying close attention to those
Speaker 1: emotional triggers can teach you. Welcome Back loves Kyle was
Speaker 1: just sharing a story about how powerfully other people's perceptions
Speaker 1: of you can impact your own sense of self. One day,
Speaker 1: I was sitting with Louie Anderson at breakfast and I said,
Speaker 1: I really want to get over what people think about me.
Speaker 1: And what's great is I didn't say I want to
Speaker 1: change what people think about me. I said I want
Speaker 1: to get over it, right like I and and so
Speaker 1: I then went to my hotel and there was a
Speaker 1: car that was going to take me to the airport.
Speaker 1: And I get an email and it says, hey, you
Speaker 1: con man. I read with this comic wrote a blow
Speaker 1: about you, and a comic that I didn't know that
Speaker 1: was pretty well known, had to, you know, very very
Speaker 1: dark energy that I'm not judging. I'm just saying he's
Speaker 1: he's known for constantly drinking and different things like that,
Speaker 1: um and and kind of calling bullshit like a darker
Speaker 1: George Carlin kind of vibe. He wrote this blog about
Speaker 1: me and uh spelled out how I must be scamming
Speaker 1: people for money, how I must be sleeping with Louie,
Speaker 1: how I must be like you know, it was crazy,
Speaker 1: and it was also very funny, and it really articulated
Speaker 1: a lot of points that weren't right. But he did
Speaker 1: it really well and sold why I am a terrible
Speaker 1: person and on it well, definitely. I mean, there was
Speaker 1: a part of me that what was crazy was and
Speaker 1: so right after we posted it, all these comics retweeted
Speaker 1: it right and I had just said, this is what
Speaker 1: was amazing about it. I had just said to Louie,
Speaker 1: I want to get over what people think about me.
Speaker 1: And then the universe was like, well, let's make it
Speaker 1: so it's so unavoidable that it's like you have to
Speaker 1: release full control of what people think about you. So
Speaker 1: I knew enough to know that I'm about to learn
Speaker 1: something that I didn't know that I need to know.
Speaker 1: Like I had, I had enough in me to go
Speaker 1: there's a whole new thing trying to happen. And I
Speaker 1: told the car that was going to take me to
Speaker 1: the airport to go without me, and I decided to
Speaker 1: sit in the hotel for six days, and for the
Speaker 1: first four days, all I was doing was constantly coming
Speaker 1: up with how I could disprove them by having another
Speaker 1: number one special, or how I could prove them wrong
Speaker 1: with more success. It was almost like my ego was like, well,
Speaker 1: I'll get more success. That's the only way to transcend this, right,
Speaker 1: And there was a higher me though, that was just
Speaker 1: staying in the room and letting it just fight and
Speaker 1: go crazy. And by day four I had this moment
Speaker 1: where I noticed that my mind was just coming up
Speaker 1: with solution after solution, and I was just sitting on
Speaker 1: the bed, and I realized, I've been saving my life
Speaker 1: while I'm just sitting on the bed like I'm just
Speaker 1: I'm always fine. And my my ego was coming up
Speaker 1: with we'll do this because of this emergency, and we'll
Speaker 1: do this, and I'm just I'm here fine. And this
Speaker 1: was the first moment that I noticed my thoughts were
Speaker 1: going crazy and I was just sitting safe on a
Speaker 1: bed and I wasn't my thoughts and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: all of my past, all of my accomplishments, all of
Speaker 1: my pain from the past, all of my story everything
Speaker 1: I've ever been just died, and I just felt this
Speaker 1: complete freedom. I just remember staring at the wall for
Speaker 1: like five hours I had. It was better than any
Speaker 1: accomplishment I'd ever had. It was better than booking a movie.
Speaker 1: It was better than anything. I was just present and
Speaker 1: time was different in this time, like it was five hours,
Speaker 1: but it was instantly. I was just like there and
Speaker 1: there was no There was no what do I do?
Speaker 1: There wasn't one ounce of a thought. It was it
Speaker 1: was just now, now what you were you meditating during
Speaker 1: this time? Or was it just like you were just
Speaker 1: sitting there like I mean, I guess I could be
Speaker 1: the same thing. I mean, I meditate. It can be
Speaker 1: the same thing. Definitely. There's times where I consciously meditate,
Speaker 1: where I choose to sit with my eyes closed. But
Speaker 1: I think that I do think that being alone in
Speaker 1: a situation without technology and letting all that crap come up,
Speaker 1: it's coming up loudly because it's coming out right, and
Speaker 1: the louder it's coming up. It's on the verge of dying.
Speaker 1: It's right there, right, And so I felt this now
Speaker 1: presence and there was no Kyle. It was just like
Speaker 1: the greatest feeling ever, and the next day I remember
Speaker 1: the sun just like going up and down. There was
Speaker 1: no time I forgot about food that day. I was
Speaker 1: just like in bliss. And then day six, I flew home.
Speaker 1: I tried to get my DVD player to play a movie.
Speaker 1: That's how old this was. Trying it wouldn't play. I
Speaker 1: tried to get to play another one. I try to
Speaker 1: get to play six movies. Eventually the movie adaptation played
Speaker 1: and there's a scene where Nicholas Cage says to his
Speaker 1: brother the line he goes in high school, there's this
Speaker 1: girl you really liked, and she was talking crap about you,
Speaker 1: and you you didn't care. And he said, why is that?
Speaker 1: And the brother said, because whatever she says about me,
Speaker 1: she can't take away from me how much I love her.
Speaker 1: And then he said, you are what you love, not
Speaker 1: what loves you. And this was the greatest moment for
Speaker 1: me to hear it, and I I understood that I'm
Speaker 1: being what they think of me versus what I think
Speaker 1: about what they think about me. And if you look
Speaker 1: at us as kids were not nearly as invested in
Speaker 1: what people will think, Well, we'll just jump up and down,
Speaker 1: we'll get on a stage, we'll sing, we'll play, we'll
Speaker 1: just say hi to strangers, because we are what we love.
Speaker 1: And then society conditions you to be what loves you.
Speaker 1: Society says you're not enough unless you, you know, follow
Speaker 1: this authority in school, by this stuff, you're you know,
Speaker 1: you're not enough unless you have this product. And and
Speaker 1: this began the next shift of my life. And in
Speaker 1: this time, I let go of motivation. I stopped believing
Speaker 1: in motivation all of a sudden, and I just asked
Speaker 1: myself to start out by letting go of everything in
Speaker 1: my life that feels heavy, Like, what's something that feels
Speaker 1: more like a pattern or an addiction. So the first
Speaker 1: thing that I decided to let go of was I said,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go ninety days eating only raw vegan food.
Speaker 1: And I said, if I eat anything cooked or an
Speaker 1: animal product, I'm going to give away ten thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Like that was my leverage. Someone offers me a cookie,
Speaker 1: It's a ten thousand dollar cookie, right, like, so, so
Speaker 1: I can't do that. One bite won't hurt me thing,
Speaker 1: it will It'll be ten thousand dollars, right. And I thought,
Speaker 1: when I did this, this was just going to be
Speaker 1: about getting really healthy, and it was. And none of
Speaker 1: this is necessarily about being raw vegan specifically. This is
Speaker 1: about me just going to a higher frequency, and that
Speaker 1: was the method that was needed at that time to
Speaker 1: do that. After thirty days of being fully raw vegan, though,
Speaker 1: someone walked by me with a hot dog and all
Speaker 1: I smelled was chemicals and metal, and I noticed that
Speaker 1: that implied that my taste buds have changed, because thirty
Speaker 1: days ago, I wouldn't have noticed that, and it would
Speaker 1: have just been a hot dog and I would have
Speaker 1: eaten it. Mhm. I get to day forty five, and
Speaker 1: on the way there, I just noticed it's so clear
Speaker 1: to me the way that cooked, fried food or animal
Speaker 1: products feel in my body are so separate and heavy
Speaker 1: from me now when they were a part of me.
Speaker 1: So it felt like I'm like lightning, not only physically
Speaker 1: but energetically. It's like I'm lifting out of the energy
Speaker 1: of that. And I felt more and more separated from
Speaker 1: that food. So I started asking myself at that time,
Speaker 1: what else feels heavy? So I was like Facebook does
Speaker 1: Like at the time, I don't want to be on Facebook.
Speaker 1: No Facebook, And then I was like dating does, so
Speaker 1: I said, Okay, for a while, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: date or or hook up or anything. So in the
Speaker 1: ninety days, I was like, Okay, all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm getting nothing but freer time, and I'm all
Speaker 1: of a sudden seeing myself as someone that can say
Speaker 1: no to things, like I'm now bigger than Facebook. I'm
Speaker 1: now like meaning like my yes to myself is bigger
Speaker 1: than than Facebook, and or people that I had wanted
Speaker 1: to date that we're interested suddenly, and now I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm able to say no to that. So at one
Speaker 1: point I was like wanting that, and now I'm able
Speaker 1: to pass on it, right, And so I kept going,
Speaker 1: and on around day forty five, I remember thinking to myself,
Speaker 1: I gotta go do a comedy club next week. And
Speaker 1: that was the energy I said it, like I gotta
Speaker 1: go do a club and I and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like I've I now the thing that
Speaker 1: used to be my dream career is now heavy to me, right.
Speaker 1: And so I was with a friend Diego, and we
Speaker 1: were letting go of things together. He was he was
Speaker 1: filming me, and we were documenting this whole thing, and
Speaker 1: at one point I looked into the camera and I
Speaker 1: just decided, if it's heavy, I have to let go
Speaker 1: of it. So I said, I'm officially done doing comedy
Speaker 1: clubs on the road. And right we have this moment
Speaker 1: on tape. Right when I said that, three auditions went
Speaker 1: into my phone that second, and I hadn't had an
Speaker 1: audition in three weeks, and all of a sudden, I
Speaker 1: had three different ones from different things. And we started
Speaker 1: kind of wondering, did I make room for that? Like
Speaker 1: it sounds like kind of crazy, but it was like
Speaker 1: there started being this understanding and even if you don't
Speaker 1: hear this in the magical way, what we started realizing
Speaker 1: and Diego is the one that said this is when
Speaker 1: you let go of something heavy, the only reason you're
Speaker 1: scared is your mind can only measure what you will
Speaker 1: lose and it can't see what you'll gain. So when
Speaker 1: you let go of something, there there's a there's a
Speaker 1: feeling in your body. You're just seeing the goodbye to
Speaker 1: the relationship, but you're you're actually making room for you know,
Speaker 1: eight billion people if you're bisexual and willing to date everybody.
Speaker 1: So when you're saying goodbye to something, you're I'm gonna
Speaker 1: lose that job. I'm going to lose the money from
Speaker 1: that job. Yeah, but you might be making space to
Speaker 1: receive on a higher level. So when I said I'm
Speaker 1: done doing comedy clubs on the road, I remember very
Speaker 1: well the next week I would have been at a
Speaker 1: comedy club headlining, but instead I was now home and
Speaker 1: I had this idea where I was I said, what
Speaker 1: if we film? I was on an energy frequency where
Speaker 1: I I was like, what if you combine comedy and transformation?
Speaker 1: And I remember my ego thinking, I think, the way
Speaker 1: you want to do what no one's ever done that?
Speaker 1: And then my ego and my soul was like, right,
Speaker 1: no one's ever done it like the way you want
Speaker 1: to do it. It It would be a unique thing. What
Speaker 1: if you combine comedy and transformation, you'd have your own field.
Speaker 1: You could do it all. And this is also when
Speaker 1: I started realizing the reason you think you can't is
Speaker 1: the reason you have to write. Like and again, the
Speaker 1: reason you think you can't is the reason you have
Speaker 1: so so an example, I would love to live in
Speaker 1: my highest calling, Kyle, but I have kids, all the
Speaker 1: more reason to show them that they can too. Otherwise
Speaker 1: you're going to teach them to ignore their calling because
Speaker 1: you're doing it, and then you're actually making them the burden.
Speaker 1: I'd love to just go write a book, Kyle, and
Speaker 1: live in my highest but I gotta make money. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're not making money because you're not writing the damn
Speaker 1: book I think. I'd love to I'd love to be
Speaker 1: in my freedom, but maybe everyone will judge me. All
Speaker 1: the more reason to do it so they can transcend
Speaker 1: their own judgment of themselves and follow and understand what
Speaker 1: they are capable of by you embodying the actual essence
Speaker 1: of what you are and letting them lose their judgment
Speaker 1: or let it fizzle out by you not needing their
Speaker 1: approval in the first place because you followed your highest right.
Speaker 1: So then so then, Um, I was like, what if
Speaker 1: I had done a ton of colleges as a stand
Speaker 1: up comic. What if I make a video for the
Speaker 1: bookers of every one of those colleges by name? So
Speaker 1: Diego came over and we filmed hundreds of videos, like
Speaker 1: five videos. I'm literally looking to a camera. Hi, this
Speaker 1: is a message for Diane Johnson at North Idaho University.
Speaker 1: This is Kyle ce. I spoke at your your comment
Speaker 1: I did comment at your school, I'd love to do
Speaker 1: the lecture circuits it right, And I remember a lot
Speaker 1: of my comedy friends going, what are you doing, Like,
Speaker 1: why don't you just headlining a comedy club? You could
Speaker 1: be making like five grand. Well after I did that,
Speaker 1: like a ton of colleges said yes, like probably a
Speaker 1: hundred at a much higher rate, And all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: like ten tho dollar gigs came in where I go
Speaker 1: and do one night gig, you know, and it was
Speaker 1: like all this new money came in once I let
Speaker 1: go of the guaranteed money of the five thousand. Right then,
Speaker 1: I had an agency that had always wanted me to
Speaker 1: stay a comic and weren't supporting me in the higher
Speaker 1: transformational version of me, but they still wanted ten percent
Speaker 1: of all these gigs, and they started feeling heavy to me.
Speaker 1: And I was very able to justify why I should
Speaker 1: keep something. You know, they were getting the auditions and
Speaker 1: I have a rule in my body that if I
Speaker 1: have to justify keeping something, I have to let go
Speaker 1: of it. And sometimes I forget at this, but this
Speaker 1: is the rule I right. Right, Like, So, I have
Speaker 1: a daughter who's four, and I've never said, well, she
Speaker 1: gets good medical so I guess I'll keep being her dad.
Speaker 1: She you know, she's She's really nice to me that
Speaker 1: one time, so I'll keep being her father, Like that'd
Speaker 1: be crazy. I don't justify why I do this for
Speaker 1: a living. It's my calling, it's what I do. But
Speaker 1: we all know what it's like to be like that
Speaker 1: friend treated me like crap, but they got me a
Speaker 1: nice dinner once, and I think they're really trying. That's justification.
Speaker 1: Like I hate this job, but I know I'll get
Speaker 1: a promotion later. That's justification. That's you going into your
Speaker 1: mind to explain why you're ignoring your body. You're you
Speaker 1: actually have to go into your head to explain because
Speaker 1: in the first two seconds you already know if something
Speaker 1: aligns with you and something doesn't right. Well, for the
Speaker 1: two seconds, no, it comes up with a yeah, but right,
Speaker 1: all right, We are gonna take a super quick breather,
Speaker 1: but we'll be right back to further explore the crucial
Speaker 1: connection between mind and body. Welcome back, friends, Kyle, CeCe
Speaker 1: and I are breaking down disconnect between your body and
Speaker 1: your mind. That's so interesting because that's you talk so
Speaker 1: much about that about the letting go of what's heavy
Speaker 1: connecting with our body, and for me, like I said earlier,
Speaker 1: that's kind of been the last place I've gone, and
Speaker 1: that is connecting with my body. And when you're disconnected,
Speaker 1: which a lot of us have been because we've been
Speaker 1: living up in our heads, it can be very confusing,
Speaker 1: or at least it has been for me at times.
Speaker 1: And especially with the trauma that I've had in my
Speaker 1: life and a lot of people have. It's like, what
Speaker 1: it feels heavy because of trauma, and what feels heavy
Speaker 1: because it's actually heavy? Yeah, please, I would love to
Speaker 1: hear it. Well. One, so I've actually I made a
Speaker 1: video about this once. One is if it's truly you're calling,
Speaker 1: then the heaviness on the way is just it's actually
Speaker 1: just helped to release that. Right, So it's a calling.
Speaker 1: There's other things that aren't a calling. You're just sitting
Speaker 1: here going why do I keep holding onto this? There's
Speaker 1: no part of you that goes I want it? And
Speaker 1: and so your ego justifies keeping stuff that you don't
Speaker 1: really want. Your soul is always going like like, oh
Speaker 1: I want to become healthy. Yeah, but I would lose this, right,
Speaker 1: I would lose getting to eat all this bad food
Speaker 1: with my friends whatever. So I have a rule too
Speaker 1: that in my life, the way I follow things is
Speaker 1: through feeling. I ask if it is an expansive thing,
Speaker 1: there's a first feeling with everything you do. It expands
Speaker 1: you or it contracts you. And with everything there's always
Speaker 1: a first voice that goes, what if I do this?
Speaker 1: It's a calling? And then a second voice comes in
Speaker 1: with why you shouldn't. That's the old story about to
Speaker 1: die and it's trying to save itself. And I used
Speaker 1: to use this as a bit, but it's a great example.
Speaker 1: Like if you're you have this first calling as an opportunity,
Speaker 1: and then the fear comes in on the second side.
Speaker 1: If you follow the opportunity, the fear goes away. If
Speaker 1: you follow the fear, the opportunity goes away. So you'll
Speaker 1: have this thing in your body that goes like, what
Speaker 1: if I left this company right now? By the way,
Speaker 1: that calling wouldn't have shown up if you weren't ready
Speaker 1: for it, right Like that moment that you just feel
Speaker 1: a calling that goes, what if I started this podcast?
Speaker 1: What if I became vulnerable? What if I opened up
Speaker 1: your ego didn't want to do the podcast. Your soul
Speaker 1: does this podcast you're doing right now, your soul wants
Speaker 1: to do. The ego goes, no, who we are is
Speaker 1: only a singer, and we got to stay that thing,
Speaker 1: and we got to stay the past story. And the
Speaker 1: soul's going, if you listen to me, we're going to
Speaker 1: dissolve that identity and still be able to sing and
Speaker 1: bring even more to the world. Right, So, if you
Speaker 1: have this calling in you that says, like, what if
Speaker 1: we left this company right now? That calling is a preview,
Speaker 1: that's a feeling, that's a preview, and it's telling you
Speaker 1: what you will. It's saying, you'll always feel like this
Speaker 1: if you do this, And then a second voice comes
Speaker 1: in with why you shouldn't, and it always has the
Speaker 1: stupidest reason. It's like, yeah, but if we do, we
Speaker 1: can't go to the cheesecake factory party next weekend. And
Speaker 1: the first voice can't tell you this because it wants
Speaker 1: you to move based on feeling and calling versus evidence.
Speaker 1: But it's like, if you would follow me, you'll own
Speaker 1: all the cheesecake factories in a month if you want it.
Speaker 1: And the second voice was like, yeah, but they have
Speaker 1: those high lettuce wraps. So if you've ever stayed in
Speaker 1: a relationship, you don't want to be in because you
Speaker 1: know eventually the two of you are going to go camping.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm talking about. Right, It's like, I
Speaker 1: hate this person, but we already bought the tent, so
Speaker 1: I'll hate them for three months and then I'll hate
Speaker 1: him in the woods and and then Christmas and I'll
Speaker 1: hate him that and then we'll just keep going and
Speaker 1: my might and with that agency, I'll just finish this
Speaker 1: one thing. My justification for keeping the agency was they
Speaker 1: get me auditions for movies, so they felt out of alignment.
Speaker 1: They wanted ten percent of the colleges that I was
Speaker 1: booking on my own, and they felt heavy. I'd just
Speaker 1: be giving the money just to keep the auditions going.
Speaker 1: So that means that I have to let go of them.
Speaker 1: Does this make sense right? So my body, yeah, So
Speaker 1: my body said we have to drop them. And I
Speaker 1: called them up and I was like, I have to
Speaker 1: let go of these people handle like Tom Hanks and stuff.
Speaker 1: And they're like, are you crazy? Like why are you
Speaker 1: letting go of us? And like they were kind of like,
Speaker 1: no one lets go of us and I was like,
Speaker 1: I know, it doesn't make sense. It's a spiritual thing.
Speaker 1: I have to go, you know. I'm just I'm I'm
Speaker 1: done working with you. And this is me now following
Speaker 1: only the feeling. I mean, on paper, this is a
Speaker 1: terrible decision, but my heart is going follow the feeling.
Speaker 1: The next day, I get a call from a company
Speaker 1: called GATE. It stands for Global Alliance of Transformational Entertainers.
Speaker 1: Jim Carrey and Eckart tole had combined forces and created
Speaker 1: an event. Now that sounds like a Kyle C's fantasy
Speaker 1: that would never actually happen, right Like, those are the
Speaker 1: most opposing energies, and those are the most two people
Speaker 1: that I'm It's like on a scale of Jim carry
Speaker 1: to Eckart totally, how excited are you? Right Like, they're
Speaker 1: the most far apart people. And it was almost as
Speaker 1: if from my perspective, once I let go of of
Speaker 1: the agency and showed myself I'm even bigger than this
Speaker 1: huge agency and the auditions and everything, Jim Carrey Neckart
Speaker 1: Totally are having an event where two thousand people are coming,
Speaker 1: and they asked me to speak at it, and I
Speaker 1: go speak at it. And now that I'm not even
Speaker 1: holding onto the agency, or the approval, or the need
Speaker 1: for auditions, or the relationships or the Facebook or cooked food.
Speaker 1: I've let go of all of those patterns. I felt
Speaker 1: equal to everyone there. I didn't feel like I'm so
Speaker 1: lucky to be with them. I felt like, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: We're all even, I'm with Eckart, Tootle, I'm with Jim Carrey.
Speaker 1: I went out on stage and I walked out. Jim Carrey,
Speaker 1: Neckart totally were in the fourth row, and I walked out,
Speaker 1: and I said, this is really weird because I'm told
Speaker 1: all the time, I'm what would happen if Jim Carrey
Speaker 1: and Eckart totally had a baby? And I said that
Speaker 1: was one of my favorite parts of your book. I
Speaker 1: was like that, yeah, it was. And I said, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys are picturing that. I know
Speaker 1: you're not, because it's a thought and I know you
Speaker 1: don't have those. And then I said, some of you
Speaker 1: guys might think that joke's offensive, but it's in the past,
Speaker 1: so Eckart doesn't even know about it. And the place
Speaker 1: like turned into the Apollo like they were screaming. It
Speaker 1: was awesome and then there were producers in the audience
Speaker 1: that just came up to me and started offering me
Speaker 1: things in movies. Like, once I gave up the need
Speaker 1: for the auditions, all of a sudden, I'm in this
Speaker 1: alignment where it just comes to me. Right. So, if
Speaker 1: you're like, I really need love and I can only
Speaker 1: feel it for that person through that person, that person
Speaker 1: is actually in the way of the actual love that
Speaker 1: you need to feel to make you receptive to a
Speaker 1: much better relationship. Right. And so this is when I
Speaker 1: started getting life is not about motivation anymore, because motivation
Speaker 1: is when I have something, I'll be happy. And the
Speaker 1: huge shift in my life is it's not when something happens,
Speaker 1: I'll be happy. It's when I'm happy things will happen.
Speaker 1: And by happy, I mean okay with all my emotions,
Speaker 1: crying out the vulnerability, crying out the shame. I'm actually
Speaker 1: okay with the me in the moment. This makes me
Speaker 1: so receptive to the all that isness at the moment.
Speaker 1: And now I'm safe to receive massive abundance, massive really
Speaker 1: good relationship, like because I don't care if I have it,
Speaker 1: because my worthiness is in my connection with myself. And
Speaker 1: so then the career blossomed into this crazy giant theater
Speaker 1: touring thing and a New York Times bestselling book and
Speaker 1: then another book that is a huge bestseller. And I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: so so that the motivation when the motivation isn't from
Speaker 1: external like what motivates you? Now? I mean maybe that's
Speaker 1: the wrong word for it, But where does that come from?
Speaker 1: What drives you? Just? Is it as simple as what
Speaker 1: feels good? Your joy? In the last year, what I've
Speaker 1: started to leave is the belief that a high is
Speaker 1: the highest. And what I mean by that is, um,
Speaker 1: we all want a high like I got I booked
Speaker 1: the role, or I got the movie, I got the person.
Speaker 1: That's what I call a jackpot high. Like when you're
Speaker 1: in Vegas and you hit jackpot. Okay, well, that's always
Speaker 1: followed by a low because it's an energy that that
Speaker 1: is a high and now you want to get it again.
Speaker 1: And then that's what creates the people that sit at
Speaker 1: the slot machine for twelve hours and never leave Vegas. Right,
Speaker 1: you're chasing the high. But what if the new high
Speaker 1: is here? What if instead of how high can I
Speaker 1: feel my highest excitement is actually how here can I feel?
Speaker 1: So when I wake up, I just listened to silence,
Speaker 1: and and this now holds such a better unconditional love
Speaker 1: than the love we're used to seeking. That's a high love.
Speaker 1: I want approval from a person so I don't have
Speaker 1: to feel my trauma. Now I'm falling in love. That's
Speaker 1: not love. It's you just think you have finally what
Speaker 1: you need to not have to feel that trauma of
Speaker 1: abandonment because you found have the person here my I
Speaker 1: don't have to feel lonely because this person said they'll
Speaker 1: never leave me. That's a high. It's very future based.
Speaker 1: Right and now holds a space of love that's actually unconditional.
Speaker 1: This space right here doesn't care about your past story.
Speaker 1: It doesn't care about what you think you are, or
Speaker 1: what you've done to someone or what someone's done to you.
Speaker 1: It doesn't care what's in your bank account. It just
Speaker 1: loves you. And so more and more, my job is
Speaker 1: to listen to this now. So when I wake up,
Speaker 1: I just listen to silence, and I just listen, and
Speaker 1: sometimes I'll go two hours and I actually am connecting
Speaker 1: with the real love of my life and then letting
Speaker 1: the day maneuver around that. And there are so many
Speaker 1: decisions that I probably would have made before I meditated
Speaker 1: that I don't after, like meaning like I wake up
Speaker 1: and go I gotta call this person and this person.
Speaker 1: Then I listened to silence for two hours, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't have to call any of those people. Well,
Speaker 1: and in that silence you're listening. Well, first off, do
Speaker 1: you call that formal meditation? Like when you get up
Speaker 1: in a sit in silence, is that are you formally
Speaker 1: meditating or are you just like I know, for me
Speaker 1: sometimes during this pandemic, one of the things that I
Speaker 1: would do was just go out and be in nature
Speaker 1: because a lot of the time I've noticed in meditation
Speaker 1: when I close my eyes sometimes I can be like
Speaker 1: I'm almost using it as a way to escape instead
Speaker 1: of sitting with my eyes open and being than being,
Speaker 1: And that sometimes can be more confronting than meditation. Yes, well,
Speaker 1: what's crazy is you're noticing while you're meditating that you're escaping.
Speaker 1: So can you be present for the pattern that's escaping?
Speaker 1: In other words, you just keep staying there And a
Speaker 1: lot of times we're going I'm escaping. Like a lot
Speaker 1: of times people say when they meditate, like I go
Speaker 1: off on a tangent, and then I bring my focus
Speaker 1: back here and I'm going, what if your mind wants
Speaker 1: to go on that tangent? What if it needs to
Speaker 1: be ok? Like, here's what we do, is that there's
Speaker 1: a pattern that says I feel shame. Instead of us
Speaker 1: trying to fix that pattern or even heal that pattern,
Speaker 1: what if we just let the shame be there? Like
Speaker 1: what if the escaping is there? What if the alone
Speaker 1: is there and you actually walk around for half the
Speaker 1: day feeling shame and not trying to overcome the shame
Speaker 1: because only the ego wants to overcome the shame, but
Speaker 1: by being present with the shame right there. And like,
Speaker 1: I have had days where I'm just like, I just
Speaker 1: feel trauma all over the place today, and I'm not
Speaker 1: going to grab my phone. My most recent subtle addiction
Speaker 1: I have is to tell other people about it. It's
Speaker 1: like I need another right, I need another human to
Speaker 1: like nod at me, to like like help me feel
Speaker 1: like the thing I feel is justifiable or whatever. But
Speaker 1: like when I listen to silence, I'm just point blank
Speaker 1: seeing it, and so I don't need anyone else to
Speaker 1: see it. Now a lot of people who have been
Speaker 1: fully introverted in their life might be repressing a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff, so extroverting might be a good idea. I've
Speaker 1: extroverted everything my whole life, so going in eternal is
Speaker 1: me actually seeing it but not repressing it. It's like
Speaker 1: just it's like it's all trying to come out, and
Speaker 1: my only job is to not like put it through
Speaker 1: the funnel of someone else's opinion. Well, and that's been
Speaker 1: good enough on your own to validate your own experience,
Speaker 1: like believing that you're worth. All I need is my
Speaker 1: my own validation for my own experience. What I kind
Speaker 1: of think meditation is for me because there's no saying home,
Speaker 1: and I'm not doing anything with my hands, and I
Speaker 1: don't wear a bunch of beadids. And it's fine if
Speaker 1: you do. But when I listen more and more, what
Speaker 1: I do is I become a portal that gets bigger
Speaker 1: and bigger and bigger for my old story to just
Speaker 1: fall out of. And the more I do it, the
Speaker 1: more easy it is for it to just fall out.
Speaker 1: I'll just have a huge cry. And it's not even
Speaker 1: like I'm suffering through it anymore. It's just like I'm
Speaker 1: now more this now, and what we've trained ourselves to
Speaker 1: do is chase other people's egos versus this space. Like
Speaker 1: all approval is everyone else's egos, right right, right, You're
Speaker 1: not even really getting to them, right right, And so
Speaker 1: you just hope you hit a person who's who their
Speaker 1: trauma involves hearing someone and becoming a people pleaser, and
Speaker 1: then you're like, well, they don't even see me, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna let them. Like, but you're never getting a person
Speaker 1: fully in that space unless it's like a few people
Speaker 1: on the planet, Like you know, you're getting people's egos
Speaker 1: and you're and often we find people who feel like
Speaker 1: our parents did as a child, so we can overcome that, right,
Speaker 1: Like you want to date someone that feels like your
Speaker 1: opposite sex parents that never saw you, so that that
Speaker 1: way you can change it so Dad now sees you.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that makes sense. Oh no, it
Speaker 1: makes complete sense. I'm like, I totally get that. I
Speaker 1: love that. I love the being in the moment piece.
Speaker 1: There's there's a I could go as gazillion different places
Speaker 1: with you, but there's one piece that was so beautiful
Speaker 1: and I think it's so important for us to understand
Speaker 1: and we we've been kind of touching upon it, but
Speaker 1: you have said that in your one of your books
Speaker 1: that worshiping ourselves is the key to freedom, and I
Speaker 1: was that was such a beautiful I was like, oh wow,
Speaker 1: it's so interesting what comes up in me even saying that,
Speaker 1: because it almost feels I feel guilt and shame and
Speaker 1: it's like worshiping myself. And I had loved being triggered
Speaker 1: by it because I also knew that is the thing, like,
Speaker 1: that's the thing we've been taught not to do, and
Speaker 1: it's been so external And when you said that, it
Speaker 1: just caught my ear because I think I want people
Speaker 1: to hear that, because it's true, we missed the connection
Speaker 1: with how beautiful we are. And you said it earlier
Speaker 1: to like, I'm bigger than the thing that I think
Speaker 1: I need, Like I'm I'm bigger than the agency. I'm
Speaker 1: bigger than I'm bigger than I'm bigger than my voice,
Speaker 1: which is a big thing to say for me. Well,
Speaker 1: your voice came from you, right, this is Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is what I wanted you to talk about, which like
Speaker 1: every dollar you've ever made came from you, every person
Speaker 1: you've brought into your life, came from you being worthy
Speaker 1: to receive them, every every everything is this moment? Now?
Speaker 1: An analogy in my my book I think I have
Speaker 1: in the Illusion of Money book is I want you
Speaker 1: to imagine you and I and we're going for a
Speaker 1: walk in the woods, and let's say around a corner
Speaker 1: and I find a giant waterfall and you don't know
Speaker 1: about it, And wouldn't it be weird if I grabbed
Speaker 1: a cup and filled it with water, came running back
Speaker 1: to you and said, do you leanne look a cup
Speaker 1: of water? Like, I don't point out where it came from.
Speaker 1: I'm just like, all you see is this limited amount
Speaker 1: of water in a glass. Right, So your question, if
Speaker 1: you just see a limited amount, is do we have
Speaker 1: enough water for for next month's rent? Do we have
Speaker 1: enough water for I'm I see a lack amount. But
Speaker 1: if I showed you the waterfall, you just see the
Speaker 1: abundant source of where the water came from, and you'd
Speaker 1: be like, we could donate the water, we could we
Speaker 1: could do whatever. Because you're the source of every creative
Speaker 1: idea you've ever had. You're the source of every song
Speaker 1: you've written, or the source of every problem you felt
Speaker 1: through You're the source of this space now is the
Speaker 1: source of everything. And when I say worship yourself, I
Speaker 1: don't mean the ego self. I mean we merge into
Speaker 1: this space just by listening to it, and then we
Speaker 1: start to connect to the all that isness that created you,
Speaker 1: that created every idea, that created every possibility for you.
Speaker 1: And as we listen to it, we start to actually
Speaker 1: merge into that and instead of worshiping the thing that
Speaker 1: comes from this space, which is crazy, like it's like
Speaker 1: I gotta get money. All right, friends, we are going
Speaker 1: to take one last quick break, but we'll be read
Speaker 1: back with Kyle and his abundance of insight. Welcome back everyone.
Speaker 1: Kyle was just walking us through the illusion of money.
Speaker 1: When it comes to self worth, You're every dollar you've
Speaker 1: ever made, Like I gotta that song that that I wrote,
Speaker 1: or that joke was that was my that was a hit, right,
Speaker 1: So get excited about the space that it came from.
Speaker 1: Not it'd be like an apple tree making an apple
Speaker 1: and then freaking out about the one apple and being
Speaker 1: like everyone, look an apple and that won't make anymore
Speaker 1: because it's worshiping that apple and you're like, yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: you're a whole tree. Like that's what you do. And
Speaker 1: every time you get excited about one idea or money
Speaker 1: or a person, you cut off the creative, magical essence
Speaker 1: of yourself, right and so yeah, and and it, by
Speaker 1: the way, if an apple tree stopped making apples, wouldn't
Speaker 1: you think if it's essences, I'm here to make apples.
Speaker 1: If it's stopped making apples, wouldn't it have to get sick?
Speaker 1: Wouldn't have to like have an addiction, Like there's apple
Speaker 1: tree now Netflix, and like there's like it would have
Speaker 1: to because it's here to give its gift and if
Speaker 1: it's not giving its gift, then it would have to
Speaker 1: like it would have to get off. The universe is
Speaker 1: so amazing. It will make things sick that aren't in
Speaker 1: the giving of their gift, right, And it's like I
Speaker 1: I have a plan here, right, and our job is
Speaker 1: to give what we're here to give. But don't hear that,
Speaker 1: Like it's a burden. Like a lot of people hear that,
Speaker 1: and like, don't die with your music left in you.
Speaker 1: And then I get a lot of people who are
Speaker 1: like I wasted my life And I don't mean that.
Speaker 1: I mean, just listen to the space and it will
Speaker 1: tell you first we got to purge this old stuff.
Speaker 1: So maybe don't give anything for a minute and cry,
Speaker 1: you know, give what I'm saying, Like, I know that
Speaker 1: we're all fighting in this time for freedom of speech,
Speaker 1: and of course I'm a fan of that, but even higher,
Speaker 1: I'm about freedom to hear. And maybe we don't need
Speaker 1: to be a bunch of egos screaming to other political
Speaker 1: sides right now and need to hear a higher frequency,
Speaker 1: like God's really working to get into this planet right now,
Speaker 1: and the la our old ego itself is being purged
Speaker 1: and and we're letting go of our control and people
Speaker 1: that control are falling apart, and right we're just getting here, right,
Speaker 1: So I love that freedom to hear. That's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so powerful, so powerful. Freedom of speech was a
Speaker 1: conscious shift forward, right, like we were all muzzled and
Speaker 1: we need to be able to talk about how we
Speaker 1: feel and what's going on in freedom of speech was
Speaker 1: a big thing. We still need freedom of speech, but
Speaker 1: right now we're just a ton of egos screaming at
Speaker 1: each other. We're all in the streets hating each other.
Speaker 1: So maybe instead of us trying to get the thing
Speaker 1: that worked in the forties, You know, why don't we
Speaker 1: get something new and and have freedom to hear, freedom
Speaker 1: to expand, and like if we go with I don't
Speaker 1: mean go with like comply, but if we just go Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going into the store, I'm wearing a mask. What
Speaker 1: if this is like breaking us off from our egos
Speaker 1: to each other for a second, and are our stuck
Speaker 1: connection and maybe I'm maybe I'm something. Every silent retreat
Speaker 1: you go to you can't talk. What if we all
Speaker 1: don't talk for a couple of years and are in
Speaker 1: our houses with masks on, Like, well, can you imagine,
Speaker 1: like what will start to read? Like you know, you'll
Speaker 1: start to read energy, You'll start to look and experience
Speaker 1: people and other in a completely different way if we're
Speaker 1: not vomiting on general time basically because that old dimension
Speaker 1: of the physical reality is not what we need to
Speaker 1: hear or say anymore. It's old news. There's a there's
Speaker 1: new news trying to come into your life right now,
Speaker 1: and we listen to it in a new way. Like
Speaker 1: when I listen to silence for two hours, I have
Speaker 1: so many insights and I feel so here, and I
Speaker 1: have powers When I listen to that, I have like
Speaker 1: and I think of all the stress I avoided that day,
Speaker 1: Like how many anxiety attacks are stressful things did I
Speaker 1: not have because I merged with the now? How much?
Speaker 1: How much love that wasn't love? Did I not chase aimlessly?
Speaker 1: How many of the wrong friends did I release? How
Speaker 1: many of whatever? And then I'm just here merging with
Speaker 1: source and meeting the trees. Yeah. Yeah, that's trying to
Speaker 1: happen for me and you and anyone listening and anyone
Speaker 1: listening to this, if you're interested in this call, be
Speaker 1: excited because you're on that like this new wave of
Speaker 1: people that are going into that higher frequency, that the
Speaker 1: only way to survive this is by being connected to Source. Now,
Speaker 1: M yes, yeah, I've been talking about being connected with
Speaker 1: my body and all of those things. Yesterday I was
Speaker 1: like what am I? Because I do meditate, usually a
Speaker 1: daily practice, but for some reason of the past like month,
Speaker 1: month and a half, it's been like off and on,
Speaker 1: and I was asking myself yesterday It's like, what have
Speaker 1: I done today? I've connected with my emotions and my
Speaker 1: physical body. It's like what am I doing? Like what
Speaker 1: is that spirit? How am I connecting with that piece
Speaker 1: of me, and I do believe we're in a time
Speaker 1: where we can't overlook that, and that needs to be.
Speaker 1: Like you're saying, I think the foundational piece before anything,
Speaker 1: you move from a different space when you know that
Speaker 1: you're connected to source. And it's so easy to wake
Speaker 1: up in the morning and forget we do. It's it's
Speaker 1: the illusion, the greatest illusion of forgetfulness. And unless we're
Speaker 1: actively actively waking up and putting ourselves in that space
Speaker 1: and connection, it's so easy to be pulled out from
Speaker 1: a zillion different directions. And so thank you for reminding
Speaker 1: me of that. Well. And here's the craziest thing for
Speaker 1: everyone that's worried in this time about things that are
Speaker 1: happening with the government, with the world, whatever. As you
Speaker 1: purge your old story of control, the story that had
Speaker 1: to control everything to keep for you, the story of
Speaker 1: lean Rhymes, the famous singer Loved and Seen and everything
Speaker 1: like that, is that's urged. The elements that try to
Speaker 1: control from the outside can't touch you, like anyone that
Speaker 1: would try to harm you, have bad intentions or whatever.
Speaker 1: They can only control the unseen control that's in your body. Right,
Speaker 1: So as you purge this. You're actually ascending to a
Speaker 1: frequency where you're not touchable right and the world, I
Speaker 1: believe mirrors that. So as you move this, you're gonna
Speaker 1: notice an exactly the same day you cry out some
Speaker 1: giant story in your body, you'll notice like a ton
Speaker 1: of darkness will come to light in the public on
Speaker 1: the same day. What I'm saying, yeah, absolutely, everything that's
Speaker 1: buried inside of you is also buried in the world,
Speaker 1: and it's all coming to light. And the one thing
Speaker 1: darkness needs to heal it is just seeing it. The
Speaker 1: light is going to end all of the control going
Speaker 1: on in the world, all of the repression, all of
Speaker 1: the you know, fear is dissolving, and it's loud right
Speaker 1: now because it's falling off, it's drowning, and it's and
Speaker 1: it's exciting because it's it's an exciting time. Even though
Speaker 1: we're all experiencing it as pain, which it is painful,
Speaker 1: there is a piece of all of us, I think,
Speaker 1: if we're willing to open up to it that's excited.
Speaker 1: It's excited to let go of the heaviness, like you
Speaker 1: keep saying, it's excited to lighten up. Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: And and we're you're right. And by the way, it's
Speaker 1: exponentially happening, and there's more way past a point of
Speaker 1: no return. And every ounce, every ounce of fear and
Speaker 1: shame that's coming up in your body has been lodged
Speaker 1: in your body secretly until now, So it's not like
Speaker 1: it's just showing up out of nowhere. It's like you
Speaker 1: were able to maneuver around it up until right and like,
Speaker 1: we does this make sense? Like we're able to Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's fine. I feel this pain, but I can just
Speaker 1: date this person. I feel this pain, but as long
Speaker 1: as I have a kid, I feel this pain. Now
Speaker 1: it's like no distractions work or they're way too fast.
Speaker 1: Like it's like, oh, I got a relationship, I broke up.
Speaker 1: You notice how many relationships. Yes, everything is just so
Speaker 1: fleeting because we're actually losing those attachments to find real love,
Speaker 1: the real love of the now, and then maybe you
Speaker 1: date someone at a full place, but there's no more
Speaker 1: attachment anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. I love it. Oh.
Speaker 1: I could go on for hours with you, but thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for coming on here. And I
Speaker 1: do want to talk to you about music because I
Speaker 1: always asked my guests about their holy five songs, which
Speaker 1: could be something like like songs that you've loved your
Speaker 1: whole life. It could be something you're into now. So
Speaker 1: I would love to hear your music choices because I know,
Speaker 1: I know you love music. My favorite my favorite five
Speaker 1: songs and how yeah favorite five songs. Well, I still
Speaker 1: remember where I was when I first heard Good Vibrations
Speaker 1: when I was three. I think the Beach Boys good
Speaker 1: vibe and not the market Mark one, the Beach Boys
Speaker 1: fishing good vibration like that. There was three when it
Speaker 1: came out. Good Vibrations I think is something that affects
Speaker 1: my body. I think that the chords and the you know,
Speaker 1: it took months to write it and he had a
Speaker 1: calling that was God coming through Musically, I feel like
Speaker 1: it was so amazing. I really am into the song
Speaker 1: Pretty Maids All in a Row by the Eagles. It's
Speaker 1: been a lot slag so oh yeah. Um. I had
Speaker 1: one of the biggest cries of my life watching the
Speaker 1: Eagles documentary and seeing that there's something about this is weird.
Speaker 1: But I really love sad. I love help. No, that's
Speaker 1: not that's not weird. I had a did a whole
Speaker 1: conversation about that recently, about how I'm drawn to sad
Speaker 1: music and it's there's something, really, I don't know, there's
Speaker 1: something comforting about that. More depressing the better. Like it's
Speaker 1: like Brian Wilson had some really depressing songs and I'm like,
Speaker 1: these are amazing. I have to tell you. And this
Speaker 1: is not a kissing up thing. There's a version I
Speaker 1: saw of you doing how do I Live? That's live
Speaker 1: when you where there's a guy playing piano behind you,
Speaker 1: and when you went to this other harmony instead of
Speaker 1: going how do I Live? Without you went you went
Speaker 1: to like a fifth from it? Yeah, what about you?
Speaker 1: Something like that? Yeah, I thought that. I thought that
Speaker 1: shift was so profound and just showed a much more
Speaker 1: about your ear and and how you hear harmonies, and
Speaker 1: I just I loved it so much living what thanks? Yeah,
Speaker 1: after we started talking, I was like, I want to
Speaker 1: watch her do a couple of things. I saw your
Speaker 1: life when I thought everyone should see that. It's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's funny because that's I'm talking about a
Speaker 1: new frequency. It's interesting to have performed some of my
Speaker 1: songs for you know, twenty five years now. Basically and
Speaker 1: it's I'm such a different person I was as a kid,
Speaker 1: and it's like, how would I how would the me
Speaker 1: now you know, if if I just got these songs, like,
Speaker 1: how would I perform these songs? And so that's what
Speaker 1: you're hearing when you hear that. Well, you know what's
Speaker 1: weird is I think that's the the even you more
Speaker 1: God more here bringing you know, not not within the
Speaker 1: boundaries of what you have to do for the record
Speaker 1: or whatever, like you're you are freer and this is
Speaker 1: like bringing in new dimensions of you and that the
Speaker 1: fear is if I'm scared to let go of the
Speaker 1: story of Leanne rhymes, well then you let go o
Speaker 1: her and now it's the story of God coming through you.
Speaker 1: And so we're hearing, we're hearing whole new harmonies that
Speaker 1: probably the record industry will be like, this isn't safe enough,
Speaker 1: this isn't controllable enough or whatever. It's like it's so
Speaker 1: good and that you let's trade at all for that?
Speaker 1: You right? Um? I also I think to other artists
Speaker 1: that probably went through are going through similar shifts. I
Speaker 1: think are India Arie and Um Sarah bare ellis h.
Speaker 1: I think that I hear. I hear artists that I
Speaker 1: can feel what feel like, have conscious shifts and then
Speaker 1: there's a more spiritual point to their song. And I
Speaker 1: think then the songs are even more profound, and you'll
Speaker 1: notice they're less on the radio. India Arie has an
Speaker 1: album called Song Versation and there's a song on it
Speaker 1: called break the Shell and I Am Light and Flowers
Speaker 1: and lie, I Am, I Am, I Am, I Am.
Speaker 1: That's so beautiful. Yeah, she's fantastic. I actually did a
Speaker 1: concert with her few years ago and she was just
Speaker 1: a beautiful, beautiful soul. And it's yeah, it's nice to
Speaker 1: be around. It's nice to be around artists that are
Speaker 1: having those breakthrough moments. UM. I don't know Sarah burrellis UM,
Speaker 1: but I am a fan of her work. And yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's wonderful when musicians start to bring that through
Speaker 1: UM because we're you know, we're living in a we're
Speaker 1: living in a time where that's I don't I don't
Speaker 1: think I know for myself, Like I can't turn away
Speaker 1: from it, like you're saying, like it's you, we're on
Speaker 1: that path of UM. Like I know the new album
Speaker 1: that I've been working on, like it all came through me,
Speaker 1: and it's like I have no I can't deny. I
Speaker 1: can't deny this. This is not what I had planned,
Speaker 1: But I can't deny that this is the message that
Speaker 1: I have to I have to bring through through the world.
Speaker 1: So yeah, for sure, have you heard Tightrope or if
Speaker 1: I dare their their their songs for different movies. But
Speaker 1: Sarah bare ellis Tightrope is so gorgeous. He promised to
Speaker 1: let go you're walking type boo, can't see the walking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it's so funny because I'm so much of
Speaker 1: a bigger fan of like India are on the other
Speaker 1: side of that shift. And even if she had to
Speaker 1: sacrifice being radio friendly like that's because the radio friendly
Speaker 1: world is going to die and the real art is
Speaker 1: about too. This is like the Renaissance. You're going to
Speaker 1: have the greatest art explode out of this. I hope
Speaker 1: you're so right about that. Actually got chills as you
Speaker 1: said that. I mean, I know, I don't hope I
Speaker 1: think you are right about that because I think as
Speaker 1: artists like you know, we're all being moved from such
Speaker 1: a deeper place right now, and clearly you have been
Speaker 1: as an artist, you know, to to make the shift
Speaker 1: in your life. And I I just I'm so I'm
Speaker 1: so happy you're in my world because I I really
Speaker 1: do feel like I'm I'm making this the same shifts
Speaker 1: and I don't know what that's going to look like
Speaker 1: in the future for me, but I do know that
Speaker 1: there is something deeper that has been calling me. And
Speaker 1: to imagine that there's some there's a bigger dream than
Speaker 1: the dream I've already dreamt is crazy to me. But
Speaker 1: I know that it's there. I can promise you. I
Speaker 1: know it's so much bigger. Like we would rather be
Speaker 1: God coming through your body than the famous story of
Speaker 1: Leanne rhymes like now and what that was served such
Speaker 1: a purpose to write, like was perfect and the highest
Speaker 1: you knew with everything you did, and it was amazing
Speaker 1: and was exactly right. So we don't go any so
Speaker 1: for everyone listening that go by this earlier. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was magic you and and the only way we can
Speaker 1: grow is by really, how good does this get? How
Speaker 1: much more amazing? You know? Michael beck With asked the
Speaker 1: question that I love so much, which is what's trying
Speaker 1: to emerge out of me? Like what like you know,
Speaker 1: a caterpillar is eventually a butterfly. What's trying to emerge
Speaker 1: out of it. There's a you that we've never got
Speaker 1: to be yet that's starting to form that is completely
Speaker 1: fine in our own element in the now, no matter
Speaker 1: what level of fame, what level of seeing, what level
Speaker 1: of success, what level of whatever. And then from a
Speaker 1: full place we create versus a lack place, right Like,
Speaker 1: I create because I want to express what's coming through
Speaker 1: this second versus you know what will sell And ironically,
Speaker 1: I promise you are true art if we own it
Speaker 1: and are not ashamed of it and don't have this
Speaker 1: one foot in the old world, will sell bigger eventually
Speaker 1: because the world's gonna match you. Yeah. Right. So if
Speaker 1: you told me when I left stand up, like, hey,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go be a transformational speaker, I would be like, well,
Speaker 1: I have this huge career and it's I it's like
Speaker 1: it's gonna be way bigger. Actually be like, how like
Speaker 1: that doesn't I don't see that. It's like because eventually
Speaker 1: what's coming through you will be the truth on the
Speaker 1: whole planet. M Oh, I love that. I love that
Speaker 1: vision and I know that you're you're right about that.
Speaker 1: I can feel it, and so thank you for sharing.
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom and um,
Speaker 1: thank you for taking the leap in your own life
Speaker 1: so that we all can be inspired by it to
Speaker 1: do it ourselves. I'm so happy to be with you.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy or my neighbor. I can wait tould
Speaker 1: be my neighbor. Ah, thank you, my friend, and that
Speaker 1: my loves brings us to the end of this episode
Speaker 1: of Holy Human. I hope that you found Kyle as
Speaker 1: captivating as I did. Please let me know your thoughts
Speaker 1: in the comments wherever you're listening, and share this with
Speaker 1: anyone who could use a little more self acceptance in
Speaker 1: their lives. On the next Holy Human, the final of
Speaker 1: the season, I am going to be talking about the
Speaker 1: duality of life and everything in between and my own
Speaker 1: personal experiences that I've been having through the exploration of
Speaker 1: my voice. It has been quite the ride and truly fascinating.
Speaker 1: And I'm going to be sharing with you a dear
Speaker 1: friend of mine who I've been actually working with um
Speaker 1: on expanding my voice my life. UM. Yeah, it's been
Speaker 1: it's been quite the ride and still is and I'm
Speaker 1: excited to share it with you all. So you won't
Speaker 1: want to miss it the finale of the season, make
Speaker 1: sure you tune in until then. I love you and
Speaker 1: love each other, ye Holy human with Me. Leanne Rhymes
Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio