1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:03,400 Speaker 1: This is a headgun podcast. 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,760 Speaker 2: Hi, I'm Ago Odom and welcome to Thanks Dad. I 3 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,640 Speaker 2: do not have a relationship with my dad. I was 4 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,480 Speaker 2: raised by a single mom, and I'm using this podcast 5 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,160 Speaker 2: as a way to sit down with father figures who 6 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 2: were old enough to be my dad no offense, or just. 7 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: The guest grunts and. 8 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,839 Speaker 2: Old enough to be my dad. 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: I shan't say. 10 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,880 Speaker 2: It's available on the internet, and I've done zero work 11 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 2: to hide my age because I don't believe in it 12 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:48,480 Speaker 2: doing that somewhere you were having sex at a very 13 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 2: young age. Well you didn't understand. 14 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 3: Look at me, I wasn't. 15 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:57,560 Speaker 1: Can you understand? You know what? Never mind, let me 16 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: try this again. 17 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,200 Speaker 2: I'm sitting down with guys who could be my dad 18 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 2: or are in your case, In your case, I am 19 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 2: in your beautiful young case, you're just a dad yourself, 20 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 2: you're a father. I'm going to ask my guest questions 21 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 2: such as, how do I know if the. 22 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,360 Speaker 1: Guy I'm dating is right for me? Can you teach 23 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,640 Speaker 1: me how to change a tire? You do not look 24 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: like you can teach me. 25 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 3: I was just talking about this yesterday. Of course I 26 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 3: can change You can change a tire? 27 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: Yes, Oh, very nice. 28 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,919 Speaker 2: Okay, Well we're gonna get I teach you how stupid, 29 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 2: pretty damn dumb when it comes to changing attire, I 30 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 2: will say pretty damn dumb. And also I will say this, 31 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 2: those who can don't always know how to teach. 32 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,200 Speaker 1: That's right, and that's actually deep in that's confusion. 33 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 3: If you don't know how, you probably also don't know 34 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:42,279 Speaker 3: how to teach facts. 35 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,959 Speaker 1: So you don't know how to change a time. 36 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 3: Do you know how to change a tire? 37 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,280 Speaker 1: Do you know how to change oil? 38 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 3: Yes? Well I had a boy. It's been a minute 39 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,360 Speaker 3: since I've done that, but I used to. I used 40 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 3: to know. Yeah, very well? 41 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: Out are you rich? 42 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 3: Uh? Currently? 43 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:58,600 Speaker 1: I love? 44 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 3: I just I knew I was going to ask you 45 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 3: that what a fiscal year is this? 46 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: Okay? The year is twenty seventeen. 47 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 3: Twenty seventeen? Am I rich? At that point? 48 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 4: Uh? 49 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 2: I mean Scott if I may from the outside and 50 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, spoiler. 51 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,760 Speaker 1: Okay. Today's guest is writer, comediate, and podcaster. 52 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 2: Extradinair Possible rich Person, Possible rich Person. He hosts comedy 53 00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 2: Bang Bang and Freedom. Annie, you are my dad for 54 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,359 Speaker 2: this week again, You're not old enough to be my dad. 55 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: We don't want to offend you. You're just a dad yourself, 56 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: but you're my dad for the day. You're my dad. 57 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 3: I just I really wonder if, like the very first 58 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 3: time I had sex, which I don't want to reveal. 59 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:36,520 Speaker 1: How it was. 60 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 2: Okay, my guest is Scott Ackerman, to be clear, Okay, 61 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,639 Speaker 2: how old were you when you lost your virginity? 62 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 3: I mom, I'm going to listen to this. 63 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:44,000 Speaker 1: She's not. 64 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 2: Your mom's not gonna listen. Your mom doesn't care about me. 65 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 2: She doesn't care about me. 66 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 3: Is she going to get a Google alert about this? 67 00:02:48,639 --> 00:02:49,080 Speaker 1: Oh? Does she? 68 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 3: I don't know. She just recently you're an adult. I 69 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 3: don't like to give up secrets of when things happen. 70 00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 1: Do you think it'll like turn her world upside down 71 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 1: at this juncture? 72 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 3: I don't know. At this point, you probably doesn't care. 73 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and does she listen to podcasts? 74 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 3: Just to be she in fact follows. She recently got 75 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 3: on Instagram and she started following me, and she just 76 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 3: says about me. She goes, I don't understand anything that's 77 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 3: happening over there. 78 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,119 Speaker 1: Maybe I could over there, that's maybe a good thing. 79 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,080 Speaker 3: But seventeen you were seventeen. 80 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: Is that late or young for a dude. I don't know. 81 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 3: I think in hindsight it's probably about normal, but it 82 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 3: felt late. 83 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 2: Probably Okay, So seventeen, you were seventeen. Did anyone talk 84 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 2: to you about sex at that point? 85 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:38,520 Speaker 3: I remember I was dreading the subject coming up, right, 86 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 3: and then someone at the church was giving a talk 87 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 3: about talking to your kids about sex, and they said, look, 88 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 3: if your child is over thirteen, it's already too late. 89 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 3: Oh and I was. I think I was thirteen or fourteen. 90 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 3: I was like, and of course it never came up again. 91 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 3: Like all that would ever come up would be if 92 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 3: my dad like ever walked in I was watching like 93 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 3: a skin a Max movie or something like that. Okay, 94 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 3: it would be like, you know, you don't want to 95 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 3: be watching those because this was I remember this piece 96 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 3: of advice. It was let please, and it's not good advice. 97 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 3: It was it was, you don't want to watch movies 98 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 3: like that because then you'll always associate like you'll remember 99 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 3: those scenes for the rest of your life and you'll 100 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,479 Speaker 3: always associate sex with them or something like that, which. 101 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 2: Is I think they say that watching porn like rewires 102 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,919 Speaker 2: your brain and your relationship to the sex you're actually 103 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 2: having or something. Possibly maybe he was trying to comment 104 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 2: on that, but it was also very uncomfortable at the time. 105 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, it felt he had to say something. 106 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 3: He definitely well he was he was very I mean 107 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 3: he was very religious and very kind of you know, 108 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 3: like follow God's rules and stuff like that. So I 109 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 3: think he was saying, if you're going to be following 110 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,480 Speaker 3: God's rules as of course you're going to do yes, 111 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,039 Speaker 3: then you can't watch movies like that because then you'll 112 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,799 Speaker 3: always think of movies like that when you I'm. 113 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: Staining from sex. 114 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess. So. 115 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 1: So wait, what kind of religion are we talking? 116 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 3: Baptist or just kind of non denominational. 117 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 2: Non denominational. You're from Orange County, right, California? 118 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 3: Are there others in Florida? 119 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,679 Speaker 1: Orange County, Florida? Very interesting? There's another Baltimore. I believe 120 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: it's in Ohio. 121 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 2: Crazy, I'm gonna I'm gonna google right now. 122 00:05:19,279 --> 00:05:19,799 Speaker 1: Is that okay? 123 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:22,200 Speaker 3: So funny if you were from the other Balltimore. I 124 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 3: from the other Florida and there's like. 125 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: A Miami University but it's in Ohio. 126 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 2: Really, Yeah, there's also Baltimore it's a village in Ohio, 127 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,920 Speaker 2: and we could get there in four hours and thirty 128 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 2: two minutes from Los Angeles by plane. 129 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: Let's go, and currently the weather's any wonder. 130 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,919 Speaker 3: Let's get you anyone. Sounds pretty good. 131 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,840 Speaker 2: Cooler than here, right, So did you grow up going 132 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 2: to like Crystal Cathedral, which I knew about because my 133 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 2: grandmother used to watch TBN. 134 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,919 Speaker 3: That that is adjacent to where I grew up. Okay, 135 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,320 Speaker 3: I definitely there. 136 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,840 Speaker 1: There was a revival at Crystal Cathedral. 137 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 3: Well, there was a UHF channel that broadcasts from there, 138 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 3: Okay that occasionally I would watch that channel because in 139 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 3: the mid eight these they had a video show because 140 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 3: you know, music videos are very popular and we didn't 141 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 3: have MTV, so it was the only place I could see. 142 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,239 Speaker 3: Like they would play YouTube videos. 143 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 2: They would play YouTube videos and Crystal Cathedral services. 144 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:15,640 Speaker 3: Yes, so they had the Crystal Cathedral services earlier in 145 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 3: the day, and then like there was a late night 146 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 3: show where they played videos that were sort of Christian 147 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 3: or and you two is considered a Christian. 148 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 2: Yes, that's okay, I see yes, yes, yes, Creed, you're 149 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 2: old enough to. 150 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 1: Be my Creed. 151 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,280 Speaker 3: You talking about YouTube? 152 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 2: Given Daddy Okay, it's given Papa Bear. Okay, so a 153 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,239 Speaker 2: non denominational. 154 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 4: Baptists, but but I don't know whats really We were baptized, 155 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 4: but knowing what Baptist Baptist church actually kind of follow 156 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,640 Speaker 4: it was a little less strictly. 157 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 2: I discovered there's a church here in Los Angeles. Like 158 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 2: if you do a little bit of a deep dive, 159 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 2: it presents as non denominational, but they're like associated or 160 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 2: a Philly by the Southern Baptist whatever the council or something. 161 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 2: I'm speaking really ignorantly now, but I'm like, I think 162 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:06,799 Speaker 2: I understand what you're saying. 163 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,280 Speaker 3: Were you church shopping or what? 164 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 2: When I was in La Yeah, I did church shop. 165 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 2: When I lived here, I church shopped. My sister and 166 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 2: I went on a grand church shore. 167 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,200 Speaker 3: Did you really we did? 168 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,680 Speaker 1: We found ourselves in the valley find one that you 169 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: we did. 170 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 2: We found a church. We did find a church. I 171 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 2: like going to church until you hear someone say something 172 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,040 Speaker 2: crazy and you go, oh yeah. As a practice, I 173 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,120 Speaker 2: think it's like a dedicated time. So even like there 174 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 2: are little skills I want to learn, and people go 175 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 2: you could teach yourself that on YouTube. You don't have 176 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 2: to go take a class for that, which I'm like, totally. 177 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:38,480 Speaker 3: You like going to the place. 178 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: I like going to the place, having the. 179 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 2: Structure and having instructure in the time dedicated to the thing. 180 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 2: And so that's why I like going to church. I 181 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 2: hadn't been in a while up until like a couple 182 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 2: of weeks ago, I did go back. It had been 183 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 2: like two and a half years, and I went back recently. 184 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 3: I had to go three times a week growing up, 185 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 3: growing up, Yeah, and I have a I just I 186 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 3: feel like lately with the church. And this is probably 187 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 3: not the same as the churches you went to, but 188 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 3: the churches that I've been to, I've kind of and 189 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 3: just looking at the church's influence on the world, I've 190 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 3: kind of now I feel like Christianity is just like 191 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 3: I don't think a lot of the people are really 192 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 3: interested in the tenets of Christianity. I feel like it 193 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 3: is a paradigm to keep white supremacy going. 194 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: I don't think you're wrong. I don't think you're wrong. 195 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,800 Speaker 2: As a person who's like, I'm always like I'm diet 196 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,280 Speaker 2: christian is what I say people, because I feel like 197 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 2: it's so loaded to be like I'm christian I understand 198 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,880 Speaker 2: people's reaction to it, and I understand what I feel 199 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,120 Speaker 2: Christianity represents in our current society that didn't come out 200 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 2: of nowhere. I don't think it's out of left field 201 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,439 Speaker 2: that people are like, I don't know about that, and 202 00:08:48,559 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 2: I think you're totally right. 203 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,720 Speaker 3: It just feels like every time I'm around it, the 204 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 3: people there kind of have built this whole structure in 205 00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:01,120 Speaker 3: these big buildings and this society in order to like 206 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 3: be on top and kind of subjugate everyone else. And 207 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 3: even when I was just there for my father's funerals, 208 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 3: the last time I was in a church, so are 209 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 3: your fathers in October? Okay, and they're The food was late, 210 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:24,480 Speaker 3: and just the attitude. I don't belong to this church, 211 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:28,040 Speaker 3: but just the attitude that everyone who like worked there 212 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 3: was giving, the food people, the service people, the service 213 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 3: people just really reminded me of like, oh no, no, no, 214 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 3: we're on top here and you're serving. 215 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 1: Us, and why are you late? And yeah, we're going. 216 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 3: To make it so it just it always just and 217 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 3: and the way I mean, obviously this is a bigger 218 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 3: issue in the world, but it just seems like it's 219 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:49,240 Speaker 3: all just a club for people to be like, we're 220 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 3: number one, right right and listen. 221 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 2: This as a person who goes I'm Christian, diet Christian, 222 00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 2: because I understand that reaction. I grew up in a 223 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 2: church that I look back on and I go, oh 224 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:02,120 Speaker 2: my god. 225 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: I think all those people were racist. 226 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 2: I was like, and that's I'm being hyperbolic right now, 227 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,960 Speaker 2: but I'm like, I think many of those people were. 228 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,760 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I think a bunch of them 229 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,560 Speaker 2: were white supremacists, And in. 230 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 3: Retrospect, I don't. Again, I don't think it's like an 231 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 3: overt like hey, we're racist on their heads. I think 232 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 3: it's just like structures that they've set up in order 233 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 3: to be like, no one fuck with us. Yes, let's 234 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,360 Speaker 3: keep this going for as long as we can. And 235 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 3: obviously the people in politic who mix it with politics, and. 236 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:32,559 Speaker 2: When it starts, that's a whole it's a whole other thing, 237 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 2: and it's messy. And that's why I think it's like, 238 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 2: I understand the perspective that people some people see it 239 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,559 Speaker 2: as a tool of oppression, because I would be remiss 240 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,959 Speaker 2: to say I didn't see how that can be personal. 241 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 3: I think anyone can use any religion to agreed to 242 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 3: get peace in their own life or to you know, 243 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:51,839 Speaker 3: improve themselves self improvement and all that kind of stuff. 244 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:57,120 Speaker 3: But the problem with Christianity is, and I remember this 245 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 3: very clearly, someone coming in seaking to our church saying like, 246 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,840 Speaker 3: if you are a good person and you're a good 247 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 3: family person and you're obeying the Bible's rules, that is 248 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 3: not enough. You are not a good Christian at that 249 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,840 Speaker 3: point unless you need to be out there evangelizing and 250 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 3: converting a bunch of people all the time. And that's 251 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 3: the that's the part where it gets like really dicey 252 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 3: for me is the like you can't just use it 253 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 3: to be like, hey, I really this is how I 254 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 3: want to live my life. And I really enjoy this, 255 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 3: and some people do, which is great, I know great Christians. 256 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 3: But it's the people who are out there like this 257 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 3: is the way I want to live my life and 258 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 3: you must live it this way as well, which. 259 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 2: Which I absolutely get. That I'm rereading Near Christianity by C. S. 260 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: Lewis. I'm fascinated by C. S. Lewis because he's. 261 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,240 Speaker 3: The line in that one too. 262 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 1: I don't think there's a but it does take place 263 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: in Narnia. 264 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:56,080 Speaker 3: But no, anyway, when I was a child in Narnia, 265 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,280 Speaker 3: did I just type that? 266 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,760 Speaker 1: I mean, okay, wade a minute, but no. He his 267 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 1: story is fascinating. 268 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,880 Speaker 2: I think why I'm so fascinated by him is because 269 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:07,840 Speaker 2: he was an atheist who became Christian. I'm rereading and 270 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 2: I read this book, I mean ten years ago, and 271 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, so much of this resonates. I 272 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 2: think what you were saying and I thought you were 273 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,520 Speaker 2: going in this direction, was like, I think any religion 274 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:20,199 Speaker 2: can be used as a guy to how to live 275 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,760 Speaker 2: your life and how to improve. 276 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 1: Your own self. 277 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 2: I also think it can be used as a tool 278 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 2: of oppression if in the wrong hands or misused. And 279 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 2: I don't know if it's just religion I feel I'm like, 280 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 2: I just feel like anything in the wrong hands, even 281 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:36,880 Speaker 2: something well intended a pen in the wrong hands, could 282 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 2: be a weapon. 283 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 3: It's mightier than the sword. 284 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 2: Of course, Oh, surely, surely should we read a book 285 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 2: if you I mean, I think a sword would hurt more. 286 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 3: That's true, But can you really get close enough with 287 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 3: the sword? Usually if you pull out a sword, you're gonna. 288 00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:50,040 Speaker 1: Do more damage than to the eye. 289 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:54,599 Speaker 3: Yeah, you were if they see check out my new pens. 290 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 2: Unless it's one of those free pens, and they're generally 291 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,440 Speaker 2: bad and kind of weakened on. But okay, which maybe 292 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 2: is worse for injury anyway, Your dad, he was very 293 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 2: religious man, is how you would describe him. 294 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 3: He's very religious. He was a deacon at the church. 295 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,440 Speaker 3: He made us go three times a year or a week. 296 00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 3: Rather bad. Yeah that's a bad make but yeah. So 297 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 3: I always felt like if we had that kind of 298 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,320 Speaker 3: blunt conversation, it would have been he would have had 299 00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 3: to have wrestled with a choice he had to make. 300 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 1: Okay. 301 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 3: I do feel like he maybe mellowed out on stuff 302 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 3: like that later in my life, where you know, I 303 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 3: did get married and kind of settled down stuff. But 304 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,559 Speaker 3: I the way I was living my life, he could 305 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:37,440 Speaker 3: tell what was happening. 306 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,200 Speaker 2: When did you decide to stop going to church? And 307 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,920 Speaker 2: was that even a conversation or so. 308 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 3: I was forced to go as long as I lived there, okay, 309 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 3: And so I lived there until I was twenty Okay, 310 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:50,280 Speaker 3: So occasionally I would get out of it after I 311 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 3: graduated high school of like, you know, I just got 312 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 3: home too late, and I feel like I can't give up. 313 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,959 Speaker 3: You know, my dad would like throw water, like cups 314 00:13:57,960 --> 00:13:58,520 Speaker 3: of water. 315 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: Bed bedroom baptism. Okay, damn. 316 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 3: So I was. I feel like, you know, it was 317 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:08,800 Speaker 3: just something that I had to do. And you know, 318 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 3: at five or whatever, they say, okay, you're old enough, 319 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,679 Speaker 3: now can you accept Jesus into your heart? And you 320 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 3: just kind of do it and get baptized and all 321 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 3: that kind of stuff. Around thirteen, I remember going to 322 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 3: like summer camp and kind of really wrestling with it 323 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 3: and going like and praying and be you know, like 324 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 3: help me. You know, why do I have these bad 325 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,880 Speaker 3: thoughts and stuff like that? Because I went to murder everyone? 326 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: Okay? I was like, okay, and I was going to 327 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 1: ask you, as I get you want to murder me? 328 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: Is it because I'm black? Or just no? Of course not. 329 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 2: Okay, just just purely equal opportunity murder sure, And that 330 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 2: were okay. 331 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 3: Well, looking at my history, it's babically been black people. 332 00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 1: I can ever race his dad or is that a 333 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 1: thing dad's are? 334 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 2: I had a guy once tell me on a date, 335 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 2: Like I've told this story a couple of times. One 336 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 2: on a date with a dentist, and his mom called 337 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,400 Speaker 2: while we were in the car and I was like, 338 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 2: you should answer, and he picked up on the our phone. 339 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 2: He's like, hi, mommy, which is crazy Mommy. He literally 340 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,920 Speaker 2: said hi mommy, and I go, I love that you 341 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 2: have a good relationship with her. That's one step too far. 342 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,359 Speaker 2: But on the other hand, you go, you're being yourself 343 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 2: right now and you don't care that I'm here. And 344 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 2: basically he said he went to some doctor's appointment, and 345 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 2: she was like, oh, was the doctor black? And I 346 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:21,520 Speaker 2: remember thinking, hmm, why is she asking that could on 347 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 2: the phone out loud? He did not tell her she's 348 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 2: on speakerphone. He did not tell her, which I think 349 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 2: is like, that is a party foul. You have to 350 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 2: tell people in there acial is likely to say something 351 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 2: like it. But I'm like, but she dove right in. 352 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: It was so bizarre. I didn't and the doctor I 353 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 2: went to the Yeah, yeah, I went to the doctor. 354 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 1: Doctor was black black door. It was that I was like, WHOA, 355 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: what a leap? 356 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 2: It was so random that I didn't even know what 357 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 2: to make of it, because I go, no, I don't know why, 358 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:49,960 Speaker 2: because it got worse. 359 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:50,480 Speaker 1: It got worse. 360 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 2: Then he was like, Okay, anyway, I need to get 361 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,600 Speaker 2: off the phone because I'm on it. I'm going on 362 00:15:54,640 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 2: a date. And it was like, motherfucker, you're on a date. 363 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 2: The date started when you picked me up. And then 364 00:15:58,920 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 2: his mom was like. 365 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: On a date. She goes, who are you on a 366 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:05,520 Speaker 1: date with? Is the date black? No, Well listen to this. 367 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,440 Speaker 2: She goes your neighbor and he goes no, and she 368 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,440 Speaker 2: was like the Greek girl and he was like no, 369 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 2: and I go, wow, this dude gets okay. 370 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,640 Speaker 1: And then she goes who who are you on it? 371 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 2: You're on a date, and he's not answering, and so 372 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 2: she goes, oh, the black girl, and he goes yeah, 373 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: and so I'm the black girl in the car and 374 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 2: I'm like what and he goes yeah, and she goes, oh, 375 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 2: a black girl. 376 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: And I was like geez, I know, no. 377 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,320 Speaker 3: No, do you ever like apologize for it? 378 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what. 379 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,760 Speaker 2: He said on them because okay, to my point about 380 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 2: racist dads, she goes, oh, the black girl, and then 381 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 2: she goes she was cute, and I go, I've been 382 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 2: on one date with this man, one normal, two hour, 383 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 2: not exceptional date. I went on a date with him 384 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,680 Speaker 2: and then had to go to do an improv show. 385 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,880 Speaker 2: So it was two hours, it had a cap to it. 386 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 2: It was not exceptional from my perspective. But we're going 387 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 2: on a second one because everyone always says go on 388 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 2: a second one. 389 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: So I go on a second one. This is what's happening. 390 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:05,919 Speaker 3: This is a second date. 391 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 2: So I'm like, you've shown your mother a picture of me. 392 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 2: That's a little much for me. That's hi, mommy. And 393 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 2: you've also shown our a picture of a person. Yes, yes, yes, 394 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:18,439 Speaker 2: it's a. 395 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,520 Speaker 3: Little weirder if like he's texting her like this is 396 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:21,720 Speaker 3: what do you think? 397 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: Six? 398 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,640 Speaker 3: If he's like over at her place and going and 399 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,040 Speaker 3: she's like, who oh, you're going on a day? Who'd 400 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,200 Speaker 3: you go on a day with it? And he goes, oh, 401 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,639 Speaker 3: here's her Instagram. 402 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: And then she's like. 403 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 2: But then we get out of the car pretty soon after. 404 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 2: It was a short ride, so a lot happened in 405 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:38,880 Speaker 2: that little ride. I'm talking like maybe seven minute drive okay, 406 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,840 Speaker 2: and it was in Santa Monica. And then we get 407 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 2: out and he's like, oh my god, did you I 408 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 2: was so nervous that whole time. Do you see how 409 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 2: nervous I was? 410 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 1: My mom? 411 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 2: And I was like, I did not look at you 412 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 2: one time and then he goes, yeah, I was so 413 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 2: worried my mom was going to say something racist, and 414 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:52,560 Speaker 2: I go. 415 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 1: Oh, she did belove it. 416 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 2: She did, though, and then he was like, well, she's old, 417 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,480 Speaker 2: she kind of has to be races. 418 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: I go, she doesn't have to, She's got a choice. 419 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,640 Speaker 3: I feel like, though, this is and my mother does 420 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:11,640 Speaker 3: this too, where anything that is she identifies people by 421 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 3: whatever is not normal about them, meaning not what exactly, 422 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 3: which is another reason. 423 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:18,760 Speaker 1: Why people people do that. 424 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 2: Though in general, there is a thing that people tend 425 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:24,440 Speaker 2: to do that is like white is default. 426 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: So they'll be like the big black guy. One of 427 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 1: my pets. 428 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 3: Also white, skinny regular. 429 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 2: Yes, those are right, You're so right, yeah, and it's 430 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,439 Speaker 2: like the chubby person. I feel like sometimes when I'm 431 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,400 Speaker 2: writing a script, I specifically will be like the only 432 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 2: time I'm pointing out the race of a person just 433 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 2: to be like, no, the default is not white. 434 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 3: I did this the other day. I kind of had 435 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,159 Speaker 3: to point it out because I wanted the person to 436 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:53,640 Speaker 3: not be white, and because like the default for because 437 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:57,199 Speaker 3: I'm writing comics, the default is sometimes of just like 438 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 3: make the person white. So I've been like Okay, this 439 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,119 Speaker 3: person since Asian. You know, I. 440 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,119 Speaker 2: Know you're thinking as you read this comic reader that 441 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 2: this is a white person. So I need to let 442 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 2: you know when you do the movie, you need people 443 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,480 Speaker 2: to know and this so they don't go up layer 444 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,159 Speaker 2: up in arms. I've seen that on Twitter about Harry 445 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 2: Potter and other beloved films. 446 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 3: Yes, Harry Potter with cho Chan. Oh my god, that's 447 00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 3: another story. 448 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,440 Speaker 1: That's a different story for a different time. 449 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 3: But yeah, it seems like it's And my mother does 450 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,560 Speaker 3: this too, where it was like, oh, the Greek girl 451 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:30,880 Speaker 3: meaning the not white. 452 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: Christian girl, yes exactly, yes. 453 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 3: And a black girl. That's what's different about here. This 454 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 3: is how I identify. 455 00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:41,480 Speaker 2: It's interesting because his neighbor they shared their Jewish identity, 456 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:43,280 Speaker 2: and so she didn't say it was just like the neighbor. 457 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,159 Speaker 2: But maybe if I'm like, if I was the neighbor, 458 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:46,640 Speaker 2: would I have been? 459 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,680 Speaker 3: Would you have been the neighbor or the black girl 460 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 3: but I've. 461 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: Been yeah, exactly, or the black neighbor. 462 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 3: Would that's true. 463 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:59,199 Speaker 2: Black neighbor, which sounds like, yeah, black neighbor. Let's make 464 00:19:59,240 --> 00:20:01,480 Speaker 2: of that, which maybe you should. I would you do 465 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,320 Speaker 2: a spin off with me? 466 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 3: Sure, yeah, black neighbors you move in next door to me? 467 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:09,640 Speaker 2: Yes, and yay, so Scott hasn't been getting his long 468 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 2: taken care of. I always found that so fascinating, Like 469 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,120 Speaker 2: growing up in my neighborhood, how much like neighbors were 470 00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,160 Speaker 2: concerned with what other neighbors were doing. 471 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,080 Speaker 3: When I bought a condo, it was it was a 472 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,200 Speaker 3: big glimpse into that because, like you suddenly had to 473 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,320 Speaker 3: go to condo meetings since yeah, I had to be 474 00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:25,560 Speaker 3: president for a little while. 475 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 1: Oh, how was that? 476 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,199 Speaker 3: It was such a drag? I mean, the whole thing 477 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 3: is a drag. 478 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: Do you feel powerful though? 479 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,640 Speaker 3: No, because we all had to take turns Okay, okay, 480 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 3: and it was and no one wanted to do it. 481 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,639 Speaker 3: That was the thing. It was more of a burden. 482 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 2: Okay, sure, Wait, I want to talk more about your 483 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 2: Papa Bear. 484 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,240 Speaker 1: Yes, would you say you guys were close? 485 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 3: I think we got to be closer and as later years, 486 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 3: because I think he sort of mellowed out a little 487 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 3: bit about judging me. He was very into his family 488 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 3: and trying to help them out all the time, you know, 489 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,440 Speaker 3: and he would when I think about stuff, where now 490 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 3: with my two year almost two year old. I'll look 491 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,679 Speaker 3: at the weekends and be like, oh my god, this 492 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,040 Speaker 3: is a forty eight hours without the nanny. 493 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a lot, you know. 494 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 3: What I mean, stuff to do. But he would always 495 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:29,000 Speaker 3: be driving from Orange County up to LA to see 496 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 3: one of us or to help us out. Or when 497 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 3: I bought that condoc I was talking about it financially 498 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 3: wiped me out, and so he came up for months 499 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,800 Speaker 3: every weekend day to help me put in flooring for 500 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 3: it and stuff like that. You know. So like he 501 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,480 Speaker 3: was very into that and very into taking care of 502 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 3: his kids and the responsibility of like I need to 503 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 3: help them out, you know. So I think that stuff 504 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,080 Speaker 3: like that got me closer to him. He was an 505 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 3: armed service guy who's in the National Guard. He was away. 506 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,959 Speaker 3: I think his outlook on parenting, which is something that 507 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 3: I'm trying not to do, was very much of it 508 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,399 Speaker 3: was in those roles of my mom was the mother 509 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 3: and it was her job to take care of us, 510 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 3: and it was his job to like discipline us and 511 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,199 Speaker 3: to also like lay down the law. But then he 512 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:22,120 Speaker 3: would be there on weekends to like take us places 513 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:22,760 Speaker 3: and stuff like that. 514 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,240 Speaker 2: Right, you know, just given what you described I'm assuming 515 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,760 Speaker 2: you didn't feel like you could take anything emotional to him. 516 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,959 Speaker 3: No, And in fact, there were several times where like, 517 00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:34,480 Speaker 3: because I felt like everything was going to be a 518 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 3: judgment and a punishment, you know what I mean. So 519 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 3: it got so bad during my high school years that 520 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 3: he like found a letter that my best friend wrote 521 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 3: to me. My best friend moved to San Diego to 522 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,680 Speaker 3: go to school when I was sixteen. He was two 523 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,159 Speaker 3: years older than me, and so and there was no 524 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 3: other way to communicate other than writing letters, you know 525 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:56,920 Speaker 3: what I mean. 526 00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: Yes, I do remember that, and I'll say this. 527 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:03,320 Speaker 2: Was an elementary school when that was happening, so you 528 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 2: could be my day. 529 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,400 Speaker 3: But this was you know, you didn't want to pay 530 00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 3: money to like call him. 531 00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 2: Because yes, that's why this would have been long distance. Yeah, 532 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,120 Speaker 2: and the youth of today have no idea what we're 533 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:14,560 Speaker 2: talking about. 534 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 3: To be clear, it costs a lot of money. 535 00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 4: Called. 536 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,240 Speaker 2: My cousin and I growing up where the best of 537 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 2: friends are like a year and a half apart, and 538 00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:22,840 Speaker 2: she and I would write each other letters. She lived 539 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:25,159 Speaker 2: in Jersey, I was in Baltimore. We'd write each other 540 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,679 Speaker 2: letters and then calling each other. We would get in 541 00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:30,800 Speaker 2: so much trouble for the long distance film you. 542 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:32,680 Speaker 3: Could do, you could do maybe a couple of minutes 543 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,240 Speaker 3: or something. But then I was cautioned, like just the 544 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 3: connection it picks up. That costs like a lot of money. 545 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 1: So you're writing letters. 546 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 3: So we wrote me a letter that was filled with 547 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 3: like a bunch of in jokes of our just you know, 548 00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,159 Speaker 3: we hung out all the time. It was just I 549 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,400 Speaker 3: remember one was something about onion soup because we went 550 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 3: to a place that had gross onion soup or something 551 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:57,320 Speaker 3: like that. Yeah, and during one of their periodic searches 552 00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:01,159 Speaker 3: of my rooms, yes, to find things too. 553 00:24:01,359 --> 00:24:03,440 Speaker 2: You can feel that you knew that they were doing it. 554 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 2: Did you feel safe growing up, like emotionally or like 555 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:06,840 Speaker 2: as a person. 556 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 3: I just always felt like I was going to do 557 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,520 Speaker 3: something wrong, that they were, that they were going that 558 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 3: I didn't feel was wrong, but that they so. So 559 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,280 Speaker 3: to get the end of this story is they found 560 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 3: this letter and were had a big confrontation with me 561 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 3: about like am I gay? Why am I getting this letter? 562 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:30,360 Speaker 3: What is onion soup? That's a gay thing? Is you're 563 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 3: in the theater and I know a lot of people 564 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,120 Speaker 3: in the theater are gay. Why is that we think 565 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:38,800 Speaker 3: you are gay? And I'm like wow. So just like 566 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:42,360 Speaker 3: a big long harangue, you know, when all I did 567 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 3: was get a letter from my best friend and how 568 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 3: old are you? Sixteen? 569 00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 570 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,959 Speaker 3: Yeah, And then you know stuff like then when I 571 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,920 Speaker 3: was seventeen, my new best friend and I I went 572 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 3: over to his house and I forget why, but we 573 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 3: swapped shoes. Yeah, And the next day was church and 574 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,800 Speaker 3: I had on his shoes and he was like, where 575 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 3: did you get those shoes? And I was like, oh, 576 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 3: my friend and I we swap shoes. He's like, why 577 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 3: would you do that? Suddenly it was suspicion time. Yeah, 578 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 3: and it was like a problem, like a big problem. 579 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 580 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,080 Speaker 3: And I was like, we're kids. We swaped shoes just 581 00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 3: for a day, yeah, but it was a big, big problem. 582 00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: Yeah. 583 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 3: And so just like it would be stuff like that 584 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 3: where I didn't really feel I'm just living my life and. 585 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,160 Speaker 1: It seems like I'm chill and everything. 586 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 3: I'm everything, everything I'm doing is like a moral problem 587 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 3: for him, right, you know what I mean? 588 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:31,840 Speaker 1: Right? 589 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,719 Speaker 3: And I think he had the responsibility of, like I 590 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 3: have to teach him how to be a good person. 591 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 3: I remember once he was telling me, I don't think 592 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 3: you're growing up to be a good person, and. 593 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,600 Speaker 1: That's rough to hear from your Yeah. Do you know 594 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:45,520 Speaker 1: how old you were though? 595 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,160 Speaker 3: When that was when I was graduating high school? 596 00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,199 Speaker 1: Yeah? Man, do you still feel like you hear your 597 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,879 Speaker 1: dad's voice in your head? Sometimes? Honestly? 598 00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:53,760 Speaker 3: I mean there are certain things where I like. 599 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 1: But are great. I'm sure too, by the way, but. 600 00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,320 Speaker 3: There are certain things where I think about things that 601 00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 3: he taught me, or like I remember, no one ever 602 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,320 Speaker 3: would ever teach me the little basics of life. So 603 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,920 Speaker 3: I remember, like at one point he would always be exasperated, okay, 604 00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 3: and I would be like, you never taught me this. 605 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,120 Speaker 3: But at one point, like I had just sopping wet 606 00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,359 Speaker 3: hair going to church, and he's like, you take a 607 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,400 Speaker 3: towel and you like dry. 608 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,040 Speaker 1: It, annoyed and shaking your head. 609 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:18,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, like you dry it off first and that will 610 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,719 Speaker 3: like get all the most of the moisture out. I'm like, okay, 611 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 3: but you never taught me, Yeah, and he would be 612 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 3: so annoyed and be like, God, why don't you know this. 613 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 2: I imagine you were like on eggshell, so I know you 614 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:31,920 Speaker 2: had how many siblings is it was it just your brother. 615 00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 3: So I had an older brother who passed away, and 616 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,680 Speaker 3: I have a younger sister, okay, but for a long time, 617 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,159 Speaker 3: it's just my older brother and I. 618 00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: Okay. 619 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 3: So and then our relationship was fraud is in mine 620 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:46,240 Speaker 3: where we were not those close siblings. It was the 621 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,200 Speaker 3: fighting all the time siblings, you know what I mean. 622 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 1: So I didn't like each other. 623 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, and so there was just a lot of I 624 00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,479 Speaker 3: just felt like my home life was very not happy 625 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,879 Speaker 3: for whatever reason, even though I know it wasn't like 626 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,040 Speaker 3: I didn't feel loved or was a child of divorce 627 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 3: or anything. And then I was talking at my dad's 628 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,680 Speaker 3: funeral about how the thing that eventually ended up taking 629 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 3: his life happened when I was twelve, so he had 630 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 3: forty years from this happening, but he almost died when 631 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,800 Speaker 3: I was twelve, and I think about like just how 632 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,160 Speaker 3: different life would have been, you know, like that would 633 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 3: have been its own challenges. So I had a very 634 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:26,359 Speaker 3: stable household. It just was one of those religious ones 635 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,919 Speaker 3: where I felt like the minute I started making my 636 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:34,480 Speaker 3: own friends and started like finding solace in my art, 637 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,480 Speaker 3: I just kind of like left home as soon as 638 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:41,480 Speaker 3: I could yeah, and we'd go back and see them 639 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 3: as much as I was obligated to, but distanced myself 640 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,240 Speaker 3: from them. And then later in life, I think I 641 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 3: got closer to everyone. 642 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: So you were moved out when you were twenty. 643 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, and those two years after high school were you 644 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 2: like in a Russian like devising a plan. 645 00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,639 Speaker 3: They were. I was sort of like just kind of 646 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:00,639 Speaker 3: going wherever the wind took me. When I was eighteen, 647 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,680 Speaker 3: I got some friends who taught me the joys of 648 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:09,159 Speaker 3: drinking till six in the morning in the van. So 649 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 3: I would do that and then miss my classes in 650 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:17,320 Speaker 3: the morning and eventually like blunked out of college. That 651 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:22,040 Speaker 3: was a problem, and you know, and that was the 652 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:24,520 Speaker 3: thing is my dad was always trying to teach me responsibility. 653 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,639 Speaker 3: So when I was twelve, he was like, Okay, you 654 00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,680 Speaker 3: don't have I'm not going to buy you anything anymore, 655 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,160 Speaker 3: anything that you need for school or anything else. Yeah, 656 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 3: he goes, he goes, I'm going to give you I 657 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,800 Speaker 3: think it was seventy dollars a month, and you need 658 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:40,840 Speaker 3: to buy that year. 659 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 1: Was what I'm just trying to eighty. I'm sorry, Okay, 660 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 1: I'll go on. 661 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,920 Speaker 3: But he was like anything you need for school, any 662 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 3: school supplies, any clothes you need, anything you want, yeah, food, 663 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 3: you know, not you know, dinner food or whatever, but anything. 664 00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 3: I'm never going to give you money again other than 665 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 3: this seventy dollars. 666 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 1: And it's a week a month, a month. 667 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:04,320 Speaker 3: And it would be gone. 668 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:07,200 Speaker 1: Because I'm like I needed to be a week at least, it. 669 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 3: Would be gone by the fifth. 670 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 2: Usually, and then and then did you feel like you 671 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,760 Speaker 2: couldn't ask him? 672 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 3: And so I never got to go to prom or 673 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 3: anything like that, because that's not even enough to go 674 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 3: to like, like I think prompt tickets were probably like 675 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 3: fifty bucks or whatever, you know, and that would have been, 676 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,160 Speaker 3: you know, so much money. 677 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, did you have any other adult male 678 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 2: figures in your life who you felt perhaps more comfortable 679 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 2: with or not? 680 00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:32,480 Speaker 1: Really? 681 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 3: I would occasionally go over to my uncle's house and 682 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 3: he'd be like more of a friend or whatever. But 683 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:42,280 Speaker 3: that's brother, mom's brother, Okay, mom's sister's husband. Okay, But 684 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 3: but yeah, I mean, I I definitely just felt like 685 00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 3: it was like any anything at home was just a 686 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 3: recipe for disaster if I did something wrong. Yeah, you know, 687 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:56,600 Speaker 3: so I just I ended up just really distancing myself 688 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:58,680 Speaker 3: from everyone and spending a ton of time at school. 689 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: And yeah, and would you at some point be like, no, 690 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: I was a strange from these people. 691 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 3: I remember there being like a really fun Thanksgiving where 692 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 3: I didn't go home, like it was always expected of 693 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 3: me to go home for Thanksgiving and a bunch of 694 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:14,280 Speaker 3: comedians and came over to my apartment and Coolot made 695 00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:17,000 Speaker 3: a turkey and it's just like I was like, this 696 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 3: is the dream, this is so much fun. There's the 697 00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 3: first Thanksgiving in thirty some odd years that I had 698 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:25,520 Speaker 3: didn't go home and it was just so much fun. 699 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:26,520 Speaker 1: Loved it. I loved it. 700 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, your dad, I mean it sounds like strict, It 701 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,440 Speaker 2: sounds like quite principled. 702 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 3: He is who he was right trying to teach me 703 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:40,640 Speaker 3: how to be a responsible, good human from his morals 704 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:41,680 Speaker 3: and his Yeah. 705 00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,600 Speaker 1: Did you get the sense how open was he about 706 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 1: his upbringing? 707 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:49,640 Speaker 3: You know that's interesting because I don't I don't know really. 708 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 3: I mean, he's a military guy. My grandfather was a 709 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:57,160 Speaker 3: military guy, so I got the sense that maybe that 710 00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 3: was part of it. But I also he was religious, 711 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 3: like his whole life, I think, you know, and and 712 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 3: like of his own choice. It seemed like like he 713 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 3: was more people people at our church. I remember his 714 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 3: fortieth birthday party, they had an over the hill party, 715 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 3: which was like, okay, back then, yes, it was considered like, well, 716 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,440 Speaker 3: you're on your way to death now. Weirdly enough, it 717 00:31:22,640 --> 00:31:24,960 Speaker 3: was exactly when he was over the hill. Because he 718 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:30,560 Speaker 3: died seventy nine. Yes, so never have an over the 719 00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 3: hill party because but I remember someone from the church 720 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 3: talking about like he was the guy who always would 721 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 3: never compromise on anything, Like they would always kind of 722 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:48,000 Speaker 3: go like, it doesn't matter if we just bend the 723 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,360 Speaker 3: rules on this or whatever, and he was the one 724 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,400 Speaker 3: always saying like, no, these are the rules. We have 725 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 3: to follow the rules. We have to we can't compromise 726 00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 3: our morals to do this. 727 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,959 Speaker 2: You know, he was that guy in psychology, I believe 728 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,160 Speaker 2: because I've been accused of it from time to time 729 00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 2: by accused by my therapist. So you could help, And 730 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,400 Speaker 2: you're on zoom standing out. You stand up in point 731 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 2: computer across. 732 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,400 Speaker 1: The room, and I'm kind of taller than I thought. 733 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:21,680 Speaker 2: Anyway of splitting, it's called the black and white thinking, 734 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,920 Speaker 2: is like splitting I now as of like truly Scott 735 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 2: like a month ago. I think I've been like I 736 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 2: think God is gray, if God were a color, because 737 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:32,120 Speaker 2: I grew. 738 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:32,920 Speaker 1: Up in church as well. 739 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 2: My upbringing wasn't as strict, but I grew up like, oh, 740 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 2: I'm going to youth group, and I know that world. 741 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 2: I feel like I know that world well, and I 742 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 2: know how people begin to think with such rigidity and 743 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 2: in some sense understand the inclination to do so. But 744 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,600 Speaker 2: then there's like I read C. S. Lewis and I 745 00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:54,600 Speaker 2: read father Gregory Boyle, who runs Homeboy Industries, and I 746 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,000 Speaker 2: think their writing is so beautiful, and the way they 747 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,920 Speaker 2: talk about God, if one believes in God of the 748 00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,000 Speaker 2: I'm a little more like, yeah, I imagine we don't 749 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 2: know all the answers in some of the ways people speak. 750 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:10,440 Speaker 2: It was such certainty about some things is quite off putting. 751 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 2: It's not how I want to be received. 752 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 3: And it always sort of changes the rules too, Like yeah, cursing. 753 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,960 Speaker 3: That was one thing I remember, Like the first couple 754 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:21,920 Speaker 3: of times I heard my dad say the word shit, 755 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 3: it was like shockings, yeah, and he just would casually 756 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,920 Speaker 3: throw it off, like when I was an adult, like, oh, 757 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 3: all this shit. It was just like because it was 758 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 3: such a problem. Yeah, when I was young, you know, 759 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,040 Speaker 3: and so it's like, oh when did that change? 760 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 1: Right? 761 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,320 Speaker 2: Right, I've said that I'm really fascinated by people who 762 00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 2: are so sure, and in fact, I in turn really 763 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,840 Speaker 2: respect and admire Leader's parents who are sort of like, 764 00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,120 Speaker 2: I don't fucking know, because that's a little bit of 765 00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 2: the truth. You want to try your best, right, this 766 00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 2: is what. 767 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,560 Speaker 3: Like I would rather instead of having a religion. And 768 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:57,080 Speaker 3: I'm wondering this about my kid, is like, what do 769 00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,479 Speaker 3: I tell her about religion? 770 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious, but will you tell her? Because I 771 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,240 Speaker 1: had that experience, I. 772 00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:04,320 Speaker 3: Was taught this is what we have to do, so 773 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:09,200 Speaker 3: we don't go to hell. Sure, and I think it's healthier, 774 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,040 Speaker 3: even though this is not what they believe. So why 775 00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 3: would they say it's healthier to be like these are 776 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:21,520 Speaker 3: This is the system that helps me out and gives 777 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 3: me peace or lets me gives me comfort about thinking 778 00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:28,960 Speaker 3: about all of us being reunited after death or something, 779 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:32,360 Speaker 3: you know, stuff like that, saying like, you know, there 780 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:35,080 Speaker 3: are many religions. We don't know which one is the 781 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,480 Speaker 3: right one. A lot of them cover the same ground, 782 00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:40,839 Speaker 3: and so we all have it in common. And even 783 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,360 Speaker 3: just living your life like, hey, I know right from wrong, 784 00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:45,880 Speaker 3: and these are my morals. 785 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:46,239 Speaker 4: You know. 786 00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,239 Speaker 3: That's kind of a religion in of itself. That's I 787 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:54,480 Speaker 3: think a more healthy way to teach someone about religion 788 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 3: other than just going like you need to do this 789 00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:58,880 Speaker 3: or you will be burning up for an eternity. 790 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,520 Speaker 2: I thought of a before there was like perfect love 791 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,719 Speaker 2: casts out fear right and if I feel like a 792 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 2: lot of people are Christian or religious or whatever because 793 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,440 Speaker 2: they're terrified of going to Hell and they're like, I 794 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:09,960 Speaker 2: don't want to go there, and so this is. 795 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,719 Speaker 3: The thing and a lot of people getting religion later 796 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,480 Speaker 3: in life of like oh no, yes. 797 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,080 Speaker 2: One of my friends just recently told me a story 798 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,640 Speaker 2: about like going home to the Midwest and uh saying 799 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,440 Speaker 2: something or like or no. It was a text, a 800 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,839 Speaker 2: text with her dad and she put God in lower 801 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,879 Speaker 2: case the G whatever, and her dad has lived quite 802 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,840 Speaker 2: a life and sounds like a fun wild man and 803 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:32,920 Speaker 2: he goes in this house, we capitalize the. 804 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,279 Speaker 1: G, and she goes, wait, are you Christian? And he's 805 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:40,160 Speaker 1: like yes, and he's old. But now it's out. 806 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:44,239 Speaker 4: It'll be a text message from a text capitalization error. 807 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:47,080 Speaker 2: Yes, but I think that if the reason you're doing 808 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,440 Speaker 2: this is because you're scared of hell, and we talk 809 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,680 Speaker 2: about the perfect love casts out fear, I'm like, I 810 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,879 Speaker 2: don't know that that's the right equation over there. 811 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,719 Speaker 1: That it's like you don't want to go to that place, 812 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 1: so live like this anyway. 813 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,840 Speaker 2: I think that's very fascinating. Are there things in the 814 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,800 Speaker 2: ways your parents raised you that you want to emulate 815 00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:04,279 Speaker 2: with your daughter or their things that you're like, I 816 00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 2: do not want to do this beyond the religion, I. 817 00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:11,120 Speaker 3: Do feel like, you know, I made a documentary about 818 00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:14,759 Speaker 3: my parents' romance, I guess for their anniversary. I made 819 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:17,839 Speaker 3: like a fifteen to twenty minute documentary where I interviewed them. 820 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's sweet, That's so sweet. 821 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:26,880 Speaker 3: And it was because I also just never really you know, 822 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,839 Speaker 3: we tell our kids these stories about ourselves, and then 823 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,840 Speaker 3: you tell it once and then expect them to know it, 824 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,879 Speaker 3: you know what I mean, And so these stories about 825 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 3: my parents were all sort of jumbled up in my head, 826 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:42,200 Speaker 3: so I was like, I want to really remember these, 827 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,040 Speaker 3: you know. So you know, a lot of it was 828 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,879 Speaker 3: just me putting a camera on my dad and talking 829 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,160 Speaker 3: to him about what he believes you know. And so 830 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 3: I do feel like I emulate sort of his relationship 831 00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,640 Speaker 3: with my mom in a way. You know, I think 832 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:04,359 Speaker 3: about there just you know, he they both really took 833 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,840 Speaker 3: it seriously, you know what I mean. So so I 834 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:11,360 Speaker 3: do think about that, and you know, I mean, my 835 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,080 Speaker 3: mom and dad are both rule followers, and I feel 836 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,000 Speaker 3: like I just inherited that where you know, it killed 837 00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:18,600 Speaker 3: me that I was five minutes late to this. 838 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:21,719 Speaker 2: You know what I said to them, I go, I'm 839 00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,959 Speaker 2: late to do bang Bank. I'm always like five minutes 840 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:26,000 Speaker 2: bank Bank. I'm always parking at the time. 841 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,839 Speaker 3: To be fair, they just recently put in all these 842 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:32,279 Speaker 3: bike lanes and it is slowed down, draving, what's your 843 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:32,680 Speaker 3: hot take? 844 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:34,879 Speaker 2: You want the bike is you want the cyclist to die? 845 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,040 Speaker 2: You want to see cyclistic? 846 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:37,200 Speaker 1: Can? 847 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:41,040 Speaker 3: I I want can protective. But I do think cyclists 848 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,279 Speaker 3: have an attitude problem, and that's there. 849 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 1: That's there. 850 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,759 Speaker 2: People ride bikes on the sidewalk in New York and 851 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:51,560 Speaker 2: I go, what are you doing enough enough and not appropriate? 852 00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:52,680 Speaker 1: You cannot do that anything ahead. 853 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,759 Speaker 3: But so I do think occasionally there are things where 854 00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 3: I just say like, oh wow, I do this like 855 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:03,040 Speaker 3: my dad would do so, which is just like taking 856 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 3: my relationship seriously. And I think, you know, like divorce 857 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:12,520 Speaker 3: was never in a question for them, you know, And 858 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,360 Speaker 3: so a lot of that can just be if you 859 00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,799 Speaker 3: never even like think of it as a possibility, then 860 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,200 Speaker 3: you never think of it as a like. 861 00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 2: This is a person I'm committing to. Yeah, it sounds like, 862 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 2: but I don't want to make an assumption here what 863 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:24,759 Speaker 2: you say. I have this like take that I share 864 00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,520 Speaker 2: with friends sometimes and it occurred to me like a 865 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:28,120 Speaker 2: few years ago where I was like, oh, I feel 866 00:38:28,120 --> 00:38:31,239 Speaker 2: like you hear a good number of men say they 867 00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,319 Speaker 2: can't wait to be a dad, whether or not they're 868 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,080 Speaker 2: going to be a good dead what is a good dad? 869 00:38:35,160 --> 00:38:35,399 Speaker 1: Whatever? 870 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,520 Speaker 2: But I don't hear as many men being like I 871 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,960 Speaker 2: can't wait to be a husband. And do you think 872 00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 2: that's something that you It sounds like your dad took pride. 873 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,360 Speaker 3: In I think so, yeah, definitely. I think for me, 874 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 3: being a husband is like it's such a responsibility because 875 00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:56,680 Speaker 3: that person that you're getting married to is suddenly like 876 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,520 Speaker 3: you're a big part of their you know, identity, and 877 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 3: if you fuck up, then you know they're just they're 878 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:12,800 Speaker 3: so you know, financially and suddenly they're they're getting a divorce, 879 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,480 Speaker 3: they never want to. And then when you have a kid, 880 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,560 Speaker 3: it's like they didn't ask for any of this. They 881 00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,680 Speaker 3: didn't even ask to be born, so they didn't ask 882 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:23,120 Speaker 3: for any of this. So it's like it's the responsibility 883 00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 3: of it is like a lot of a lot of 884 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:28,000 Speaker 3: people go when they get married, they say like, you're 885 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 3: the perfect person for me, and that's to me, to me, 886 00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:35,799 Speaker 3: that's not the reason to get married of like, oh, 887 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:40,319 Speaker 3: I can't find anyone better than you, you know, like, oh, 888 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,080 Speaker 3: you're you're so good, I'm never going to get sick 889 00:39:42,120 --> 00:39:44,600 Speaker 3: of you. Everyone thinks about it in a very selfish way. 890 00:39:45,120 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 3: And to me when I was getting married, it was 891 00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,920 Speaker 3: purely like I need to take care of her kind 892 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:51,680 Speaker 3: of thing, where it was like I need to make 893 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:55,800 Speaker 3: sure that she's gonna be okay if anything happens, you 894 00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,760 Speaker 3: know what I mean. So it's very much a different 895 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,879 Speaker 3: kind of mindset for me. Of just like as much 896 00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,839 Speaker 3: as there are people who go like, oh, I can't 897 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,359 Speaker 3: wait to grow old with you doing it now, tell 898 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,160 Speaker 3: me that's not it's not the fun part. 899 00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 1: Of right, Okay, what is the fun part? By the way, truly, I. 900 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,480 Speaker 3: Do think that the just you can have fun or whatever, 901 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:22,600 Speaker 3: but but marriage is just more about like comfort, instability 902 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,759 Speaker 3: and not and not feeling restless and feeling you know. 903 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,840 Speaker 3: I also feel like at a certain point, I have 904 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,800 Speaker 3: a friend getting married soon who resisted it for a 905 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 3: long time, and I think like just some of a 906 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,920 Speaker 3: switch flipped in them where they were just like, oh no, 907 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:38,680 Speaker 3: what am I doing? 908 00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:39,400 Speaker 2: You know? 909 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,640 Speaker 3: And I hear I think Jerry Seinfeld has talked about 910 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,680 Speaker 3: how he kept he got sick of having the first 911 00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,040 Speaker 3: day conversation over and over and over and over and 912 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:52,000 Speaker 3: over and over. You just want something deeper, you know 913 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:52,359 Speaker 3: what I mean. 914 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:54,719 Speaker 1: So I think it's it's like that, did you know 915 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,120 Speaker 1: you wanted to get married? 916 00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 3: I really felt like when I met cool Op, I 917 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,000 Speaker 3: was like, oh, this is someone I could get married to. 918 00:41:02,120 --> 00:41:07,000 Speaker 3: So I took it very seriously early on, but again 919 00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,839 Speaker 3: I did it a little more. This is for her. 920 00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,400 Speaker 3: This is this is not me going like trying to 921 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:13,360 Speaker 3: lock something down, like. 922 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:15,680 Speaker 2: So if I'm married, like, I care so much about 923 00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:18,399 Speaker 2: this person and I want to help make her life better. 924 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,719 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, yeah, So I definitely a lot of people 925 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,359 Speaker 3: are just like I want to protect anyone else from 926 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:25,160 Speaker 3: having this person. 927 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:26,840 Speaker 1: I want to take them off the market. 928 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:29,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, like all that kind of language is 929 00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,240 Speaker 3: very to me. Not what it's about, it's it's about 930 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:34,319 Speaker 3: and this sounds very old fashioned, but this is also 931 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:36,840 Speaker 3: sort of my dad. It's like trying to provide for 932 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:41,440 Speaker 3: them or you know, in the sense of I am 933 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,879 Speaker 3: trying to, you know, make sure they have a good 934 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 3: environment and that kind of stuff. 935 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,399 Speaker 1: So, yeah, did you know you wanted to be a dad? 936 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 3: I was kind of ify on it where it could 937 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,560 Speaker 3: have gone where one way or the other. But cool, 938 00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,759 Speaker 3: I really wanted to and that's something you okay, And 939 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,200 Speaker 3: so we talked about it and said, okay, well, if 940 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,399 Speaker 3: you really want to, then I'll you know, go ahead 941 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,160 Speaker 3: with it. But I but I was a little like 942 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:09,239 Speaker 3: I remember saying at one point like, you know, I 943 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:12,000 Speaker 3: could take it or leave it, and then someone saying, well, 944 00:42:12,040 --> 00:42:14,480 Speaker 3: once it happens, I think you'll be happy about Yes, 945 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:15,880 Speaker 3: you are. 946 00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:16,960 Speaker 1: You seem like it. 947 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,600 Speaker 2: I saw a very cute video of your daughter before 948 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 2: we I mean, I don't know how to I don't 949 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:22,600 Speaker 2: have words. 950 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:23,880 Speaker 1: It's so adorable. 951 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,439 Speaker 3: It's hard being an old dad. 952 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I remember my brother wanted to be 953 00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 2: a young, like not teen dad. But I remember him 954 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 2: specifically being like, I don't want to be an old dad. 955 00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:35,560 Speaker 3: I feel like, physically it's so much easier to be 956 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,960 Speaker 3: a young dad, but emotionally, I don't. I wouldn't have 957 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,759 Speaker 3: been able to handle it, right, What. 958 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:42,279 Speaker 1: Do you think as a younger dad you might not 959 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:43,600 Speaker 1: been able to handle patients? 960 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:50,439 Speaker 3: Yeah, And also the time commitment is just it's yeah, 961 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,160 Speaker 3: you know, I have we have a lot of help, 962 00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:55,239 Speaker 3: and it still was ANX It's an extra forty hour 963 00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:56,440 Speaker 3: a week job for me, you know. 964 00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,360 Speaker 2: Of course I've said this already or at some points. 965 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,480 Speaker 2: I have a puppy, and I do not liken it 966 00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:03,680 Speaker 2: to being a parent at all. 967 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:04,319 Speaker 1: I don't. 968 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,279 Speaker 2: But I used to think that maybe I could be 969 00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,120 Speaker 2: a single mom like my mom, who was one. Not 970 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,920 Speaker 2: by a choice, it's not what she signed up where 971 00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:12,839 Speaker 2: we're talking about here in a divorce that you didn't 972 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:14,680 Speaker 2: you know, didn't plan for yourself. 973 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:16,120 Speaker 1: But in my mind I was like, well, what if 974 00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,880 Speaker 1: I planned to be a single mom. 975 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:19,920 Speaker 2: So I got this puppy unrelated, I was like, oh, 976 00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:21,920 Speaker 2: I wanted a puppy last summer, and I go, oh, 977 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,320 Speaker 2: oh no, because I can afford to send him to daycare, 978 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,400 Speaker 2: and I go, this is. 979 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,799 Speaker 1: And this is a puppy. This is different than it's a. 980 00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:35,480 Speaker 3: Good starter in giving you responsibility. Yeah, wow, these are 981 00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:37,440 Speaker 3: the now, this is my schedule of what I have 982 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:38,239 Speaker 3: to do every day, and. 983 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:41,480 Speaker 2: I have to think about this and make sure the 984 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,640 Speaker 2: daycare closed of this time. And I'm at SNL here 985 00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:45,880 Speaker 2: and who was going to go grab him? So I 986 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,359 Speaker 2: think I realized in that moment or over the course 987 00:43:48,400 --> 00:43:50,600 Speaker 2: of last summer. And my friend has a puppy now 988 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,120 Speaker 2: and she goes, no one talks about puppy depression. 989 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,560 Speaker 1: I go, yeah, no one really talked about it. 990 00:43:54,600 --> 00:43:57,680 Speaker 3: I was like puppy depression of just like having. 991 00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,320 Speaker 1: A puppy and the care. No one talks about it. 992 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:00,719 Speaker 1: I'm like, no one warned of this. 993 00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:03,720 Speaker 3: I had a beloved dog that was in the opening 994 00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,120 Speaker 3: titles to my TV show and everything, and was in 995 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:09,080 Speaker 3: the TV show all the time, Rocky, and Rocky passed 996 00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:12,640 Speaker 3: away in twenty sixteen, right when the show rapped. A 997 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:14,560 Speaker 3: couple months after the show wrapped. In fact, the final 998 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,359 Speaker 3: episode I think had a dedication to him. But there 999 00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,239 Speaker 3: were three months when I suddenly didn't have a dog. Yeah, 1000 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,000 Speaker 3: that I was so happy. 1001 00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:25,560 Speaker 2: It was like God bless and or to Rocky. But 1002 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:27,440 Speaker 2: I look at my dog, I'm in love with him. 1003 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:28,680 Speaker 2: It took a little bit of time. By the way, 1004 00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:30,120 Speaker 2: did it take time for you to fall in love 1005 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:31,239 Speaker 2: with your daughter's daughter? 1006 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,440 Speaker 3: My daughter, I think I loved right from the beginning. 1007 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,479 Speaker 1: Someone just told me that they were like they felt 1008 00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:38,879 Speaker 1: like their daughter. Was like, oh yeah. Somebody was like, oh, 1009 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,840 Speaker 1: I kind of had my daughter and was like, Okay, 1010 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:42,880 Speaker 1: I wonder what it. 1011 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,560 Speaker 3: Is, because I think it's taking care of anything, you know, 1012 00:44:46,719 --> 00:44:49,239 Speaker 3: like people talk about blood or whatever like oh this 1013 00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:52,400 Speaker 3: my daughter doesn't have any of my DNA because you know, 1014 00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:55,799 Speaker 3: we had to get a different you know, yeah, all 1015 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,520 Speaker 3: that kind of stuff. I don't think family is about 1016 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,200 Speaker 3: that at all. Like I think you can bond with 1017 00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:02,560 Speaker 3: and dogs are kind of proof of that, you know, 1018 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,239 Speaker 3: in a lot of ways. 1019 00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,520 Speaker 2: Yes, it's interesting because this thing you're saying about you 1020 00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:09,759 Speaker 2: felt after Rocky pass. I look at my dog, who 1021 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,800 Speaker 2: I now love, and I'm like, okay, we're in a groove, 1022 00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,279 Speaker 2: and I go, oh, I won't be doing this again, 1023 00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,440 Speaker 2: though I don't think i'll be or certainly would not 1024 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,560 Speaker 2: get a puppy again, I just would not do. 1025 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,320 Speaker 3: I was definitely like such a such a weight was 1026 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,040 Speaker 3: off my shoulders in the sense of like, oh, I 1027 00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:26,880 Speaker 3: don't have responsibilities anymore. Yeah, this is great and COOLP 1028 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:30,120 Speaker 3: was really sad and wanted another dog, so and we 1029 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:31,680 Speaker 3: got two and that's such a mistake. 1030 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:32,600 Speaker 1: And a baby. 1031 00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:38,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, and I have three podcasts and a baby. But yeah, 1032 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,719 Speaker 3: it's just so much work that you know, it's just 1033 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:43,719 Speaker 3: a lot, so you have to really be in it 1034 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,520 Speaker 3: in order. 1035 00:45:44,360 --> 00:45:44,680 Speaker 2: To do it. 1036 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:48,000 Speaker 3: And and if you're a young person, I can only 1037 00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:51,560 Speaker 3: imagine kind of going like I don't I'm still trying 1038 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:55,280 Speaker 3: to achieve my job. I'm still trying to achieve job stability, 1039 00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,200 Speaker 3: or I'm still like trying to work my way up 1040 00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,000 Speaker 3: the ladder, or what am I doing with my life 1041 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:00,600 Speaker 3: life yet? 1042 00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:01,600 Speaker 1: And I have this. 1043 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,800 Speaker 3: I can't concentrate on that because I have this. My attention, 1044 00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,600 Speaker 3: My focus is split. And I think that's why the 1045 00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,440 Speaker 3: whole male female dynamic of like, no, I go to 1046 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,520 Speaker 3: work and you take care of the kids like existed, 1047 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:14,959 Speaker 3: you know, but we don't do that at my house. 1048 00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,200 Speaker 1: Yes, we're living in a different time. 1049 00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,760 Speaker 2: As the Burrell talks about, She's like there's a reason 1050 00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:23,160 Speaker 2: like those dynamics existed, and I don't know that she 1051 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,719 Speaker 2: was in support of them, but her point was like, 1052 00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,000 Speaker 2: we're in a different time now in the sense that 1053 00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:31,080 Speaker 2: the roles are not so clear cut now, and so 1054 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,759 Speaker 2: it created it poses quite a few problems. But she's 1055 00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:36,200 Speaker 2: not saying it's good or bad, but she was like, 1056 00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,000 Speaker 2: it just poses problems. Back in the day of those 1057 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:39,200 Speaker 2: clear lines, just created it. 1058 00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:44,200 Speaker 3: For Yeah, when Emmy was born, I was like, everyone said, hey, 1059 00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:45,839 Speaker 3: take some time off, and so I said, okay, I'm 1060 00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:49,040 Speaker 3: going to take a month off. Yeah, and just expected 1061 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:51,840 Speaker 3: And this was I think something I shared with a 1062 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,560 Speaker 3: few other people I talked to, expecting that app at 1063 00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:58,440 Speaker 3: the month then like I would be relieved of some 1064 00:46:58,560 --> 00:46:59,160 Speaker 3: of the duties. 1065 00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,440 Speaker 1: It says just ramping up for you. 1066 00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:03,560 Speaker 3: And me and my friends were both like, I did 1067 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,000 Speaker 3: not expect to never be relieved in those duties. 1068 00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know anything about being a mother. 1069 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:13,320 Speaker 1: So I have two nieces. 1070 00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:15,840 Speaker 2: My sister in law when she's pregnant with my youngest 1071 00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,880 Speaker 2: niece last year, her boss was like, she was like, 1072 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:22,520 Speaker 2: I'm going on maternity leave now, you know, do any 1073 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,880 Speaker 2: day And he was like, so, what is that, Like, 1074 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,719 Speaker 2: you're going to be gone for like four a month? 1075 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,600 Speaker 2: He literally was like a month and she goes, what 1076 00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,200 Speaker 2: are you? And then I said to her, I was like, 1077 00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,680 Speaker 2: does he have kids? And she's like yes, and yeah, 1078 00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:36,600 Speaker 2: She's like it's not four weeks. 1079 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,400 Speaker 1: I promise you. What's been most surprising about being a 1080 00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:40,080 Speaker 1: dad for you? 1081 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 3: I mean, it definitely is one of those things where 1082 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:47,040 Speaker 3: it just really makes you happy anytime you're around, you know, 1083 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:53,239 Speaker 3: even kind of the annoying times like where you're just 1084 00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:58,080 Speaker 3: like fucking shut up, it still is like then it'll 1085 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,560 Speaker 3: turn within like two minutes and it'll be you know, 1086 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:01,560 Speaker 3: really happy again. 1087 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:01,759 Speaker 4: You know. 1088 00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:05,680 Speaker 3: So that's that's been really great. It definitely. And I 1089 00:48:05,719 --> 00:48:07,400 Speaker 3: have a friend who just had a baby who was 1090 00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,400 Speaker 3: just like looked shell shocked, and she was just like, 1091 00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:16,800 Speaker 3: it's really an adjustment. It's just your whole life is 1092 00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:21,239 Speaker 3: just it's it's just so much more responsibility than I 1093 00:48:21,320 --> 00:48:23,040 Speaker 3: think a lot of people are ready for it. 1094 00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,279 Speaker 1: Do you feel there's like any sort of parenting class 1095 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:26,319 Speaker 1: you wish you took. 1096 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:32,520 Speaker 3: I try, you know, we were so you know our story, yeah, 1097 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:37,640 Speaker 3: because we had we had so much trouble getting a baby. 1098 00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:42,080 Speaker 3: It was a ten year process and with a lot 1099 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:47,320 Speaker 3: of so many i'll just say the word because it's clinical, 1100 00:48:47,360 --> 00:48:52,319 Speaker 3: but so many miscarriages that we or at least I'm 1101 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,640 Speaker 3: not going to speak for cooler, but I I mentally 1102 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,040 Speaker 3: was sort of like, I'm not going to fully commit 1103 00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,959 Speaker 3: to this until i actually see a baby. 1104 00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:00,759 Speaker 1: Yeah, so baby. 1105 00:49:00,960 --> 00:49:05,560 Speaker 3: Yes, we eventually got there via surrogacy. We had one 1106 00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:11,279 Speaker 3: viable implantation and it worked and everything's great, but it 1107 00:49:11,360 --> 00:49:13,000 Speaker 3: was it was definitely like a thing where I did 1108 00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:18,000 Speaker 3: not read a single book about parenting or anything until 1109 00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:20,239 Speaker 3: suddenly she was here. And then it was like we 1110 00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:21,440 Speaker 3: were like, Okay, what do we do? 1111 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:23,960 Speaker 1: It usually does hasn't worked out. 1112 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:25,880 Speaker 3: They just hand you this baby at the end of 1113 00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:28,399 Speaker 3: like a day, like it's a subway sandwich or something, 1114 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:31,120 Speaker 3: and they're just like, this is yours now, yes, Well, that's. 1115 00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:34,600 Speaker 2: My idea about parents. I'm like, who even knows what 1116 00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:38,520 Speaker 2: they're doing? And like I've heard parents express frustration about 1117 00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:41,759 Speaker 2: parenting experts who are like, you don't effing know, like 1118 00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:43,879 Speaker 2: you and your little book and this is the way, 1119 00:49:43,920 --> 00:49:45,879 Speaker 2: and it's like we're kind of all figuring it out. 1120 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:51,040 Speaker 3: It sounds like, yeah, I definitely. Occasionally some cool op 1121 00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,320 Speaker 3: will mainly send me like something on Instagram that's like 1122 00:49:54,360 --> 00:49:57,400 Speaker 3: a little tip of hey, don't do this with your kids. 1123 00:49:57,480 --> 00:49:59,560 Speaker 3: But I think it was a lot of it was 1124 00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:02,160 Speaker 3: just not me reading stuff and me just kind of 1125 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,960 Speaker 3: looking around at parenting and going like, this is kind 1126 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,480 Speaker 3: of how I feel about it, this is how I 1127 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,920 Speaker 3: felt about growing up. This is what I want to adjust. 1128 00:50:11,320 --> 00:50:13,759 Speaker 3: But then you know the other stuff. Yes, you have 1129 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,279 Speaker 3: to like baby proof your home and. 1130 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:18,160 Speaker 1: Are just cold heart. 1131 00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:20,320 Speaker 3: Yeah you know, I'm not one of those parents who's like, 1132 00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,880 Speaker 3: oh no, we don't even send our kids to school 1133 00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,839 Speaker 3: because we want we're not too okay, no, no, we're 1134 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,839 Speaker 3: I I definitely know what I'm doing. Baby is growing 1135 00:50:28,880 --> 00:50:29,200 Speaker 3: up great. 1136 00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,000 Speaker 1: It is like and no, and is brilliant. I think 1137 00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:34,719 Speaker 1: I'm shook by how adorable she is. Truly, do you 1138 00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:38,120 Speaker 1: want to be friends with your daughter? 1139 00:50:40,480 --> 00:50:44,680 Speaker 3: I don't feel the responsibility of like I need you 1140 00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:50,640 Speaker 3: to grow up to be this type of person. I 1141 00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 3: really just want our relationship to be good. 1142 00:50:53,239 --> 00:50:56,359 Speaker 2: Oh good, Yeah, that's nice, that's really nice. I don't 1143 00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,719 Speaker 2: mean this so crassly, but I'm like, you know, you're 1144 00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:01,080 Speaker 2: kind of like you're a priority. That your relationship with 1145 00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:02,239 Speaker 2: your daughter is good. 1146 00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:05,799 Speaker 3: Yes, I hope you have hopes of like I hope 1147 00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:09,480 Speaker 3: she's not mean. Yeah, yeah, you know that's the biggest 1148 00:51:09,840 --> 00:51:10,439 Speaker 3: I think fear. 1149 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,600 Speaker 1: That's lovely. I don't think she will be. 1150 00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,160 Speaker 3: She right now, she's very sweet. But you just, you know, 1151 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:17,680 Speaker 3: all sorts of stuff happen. 1152 00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:19,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting. 1153 00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:23,160 Speaker 3: I want to protect her so that these terrible things 1154 00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:25,440 Speaker 3: you read about don't happen, you know, but just stuff 1155 00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:27,719 Speaker 3: like that. No, I just I just I don't really care, 1156 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:31,560 Speaker 3: like what her personality is or what she decides to 1157 00:51:31,680 --> 00:51:34,840 Speaker 3: do with her life or whatever. It's just really I 1158 00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:36,200 Speaker 3: just hope we can stay close. 1159 00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:38,399 Speaker 1: Oh wonderful. And so you want her to be able 1160 00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:40,439 Speaker 1: to talk to you about anything? Yeah, yeah, cool. 1161 00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,480 Speaker 2: I want to talk to you about something because I 1162 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:44,840 Speaker 2: end all these episodes asking my dad. 1163 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:48,000 Speaker 1: For the day for a piece of advice. Okay. 1164 00:51:48,719 --> 00:51:52,120 Speaker 2: I bought a house, okay, and I'm trying to renovate it. 1165 00:51:52,640 --> 00:51:54,480 Speaker 2: Which state in California? 1166 00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:54,960 Speaker 1: Okay? 1167 00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:56,279 Speaker 3: The fire insurance is going. 1168 00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:57,799 Speaker 1: To be crazy. It's too late. 1169 00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,480 Speaker 3: Is it too late for me to get out? 1170 00:52:01,200 --> 00:52:03,239 Speaker 2: Well, okay, pull out of the house. It's mine now, 1171 00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:04,520 Speaker 2: so not have to figure how to sell it. Then 1172 00:52:04,520 --> 00:52:06,120 Speaker 2: I'll need advice on how to sell I want to 1173 00:52:06,160 --> 00:52:08,640 Speaker 2: do renovations. What would you say to look out for 1174 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,200 Speaker 2: and help? 1175 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:13,520 Speaker 3: Okay, so are you having you're having a contractor do it? 1176 00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:16,000 Speaker 1: I'm going to have some I'm going to have like 1177 00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:17,600 Speaker 1: a designer's contractor. 1178 00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,319 Speaker 3: Yes, are you do you need the architect involved it all? 1179 00:52:22,560 --> 00:52:23,799 Speaker 1: I think the architect yes? 1180 00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:26,120 Speaker 3: Okay, So you'll get a first first, you'll get a 1181 00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:30,239 Speaker 3: contractor who will probably recommend an architect. Okay, okay, we'll 1182 00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:33,359 Speaker 3: then come in and show you the plans and all 1183 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:34,960 Speaker 3: that kind of stuff, and they'll they'll come up with 1184 00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:35,840 Speaker 3: a plan together. 1185 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:36,360 Speaker 1: Okay. 1186 00:52:37,080 --> 00:52:39,719 Speaker 3: They will quote you how long it's going to take. 1187 00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:42,200 Speaker 3: It will take at least double Okay, wonderful to know. 1188 00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:46,680 Speaker 3: I feel like the money also there there will always 1189 00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:49,480 Speaker 3: be kind of an issue, so I would budget you 1190 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:53,680 Speaker 3: know at probably you know, some people would probably say double. 1191 00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:55,799 Speaker 3: It'll end up at double. What they what they said? 1192 00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:58,439 Speaker 1: Do I tell them what my budget is up top 1193 00:52:59,120 --> 00:52:59,960 Speaker 1: or better? Good? 1194 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:00,839 Speaker 2: Very? 1195 00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,520 Speaker 3: I mean, if you are on a strict budget, sure 1196 00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:06,719 Speaker 3: certainly tell them that. 1197 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:08,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it will still be double. 1198 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,480 Speaker 3: I would hope not then, like you, because then you 1199 00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,200 Speaker 3: can start to have discussions with them of like, hey, 1200 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:17,640 Speaker 3: you said you could bring it in for this much. Yeah, 1201 00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,000 Speaker 3: but there will always be issues where they come in 1202 00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,000 Speaker 3: and go like, hey, look we took the walls out 1203 00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:24,640 Speaker 3: and here's this problem, and it will be an extra time. 1204 00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:26,320 Speaker 3: And then you just have to decide for yourself of 1205 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,279 Speaker 3: like Okay, do I spend the extra money on this 1206 00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,319 Speaker 3: or do I cheapen out? You know, so I when 1207 00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:33,160 Speaker 3: I say it'll end up being double. I think that's 1208 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:35,080 Speaker 3: when you go in without a budget like we did, 1209 00:53:35,120 --> 00:53:37,640 Speaker 3: and just say like like just do. 1210 00:53:37,719 --> 00:53:40,040 Speaker 1: These things, yes, okay, okay, okay. 1211 00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,120 Speaker 3: They if you are really on a budget, they tend 1212 00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,839 Speaker 3: to stack jobs up so that they're at a bunch 1213 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,160 Speaker 3: of different sites at the simultaneously. So there will be 1214 00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:52,120 Speaker 3: like sometimes weeks, sometimes months, we'll go by without you 1215 00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:54,920 Speaker 3: seeing any of the people. Oh okay, like wow, why 1216 00:53:54,960 --> 00:53:56,040 Speaker 3: aren't they here today? 1217 00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:58,120 Speaker 1: Okay, Oh I see what you're saying, because they're like, 1218 00:53:58,160 --> 00:53:59,680 Speaker 1: we need to make this money so much. 1219 00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,960 Speaker 3: Yes, they have a bunch of jobs simultaneously so that 1220 00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:05,080 Speaker 3: they are not just earning your money. 1221 00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:07,600 Speaker 1: Right Okay, okay, because yours is not enough. You have 1222 00:54:07,600 --> 00:54:08,840 Speaker 1: a budget, Okay, great. 1223 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:11,799 Speaker 3: So so they will have several houses in the neighborhood 1224 00:54:12,160 --> 00:54:15,799 Speaker 3: and they sometimes will come by like, oh, they're here 1225 00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:19,560 Speaker 3: right at seven or eight a m Oh they left 1226 00:54:19,600 --> 00:54:22,360 Speaker 3: at noon. Oh they're just gone. And then maybe you 1227 00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,839 Speaker 3: won't see them for a while, you know, because they're 1228 00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:27,359 Speaker 3: at the other houses or whatever. And they'll always say like, oh, 1229 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:29,520 Speaker 3: we're waiting for materials or you know, stuff like that, 1230 00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:32,040 Speaker 3: but they're usually like at another job, just kind of 1231 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,799 Speaker 3: doing that. So if there's a time issue, that's why 1232 00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:37,800 Speaker 3: it usually takes double of what they say is because 1233 00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:41,040 Speaker 3: they're they're they're pie in the sky and they're trying 1234 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:43,440 Speaker 3: to get your business. 1235 00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:43,680 Speaker 1: You know, convince me. 1236 00:54:44,520 --> 00:54:47,200 Speaker 3: So just expect delays, expect you know, it to be 1237 00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:51,479 Speaker 3: more money they think. And you know when people start 1238 00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:54,160 Speaker 3: saying like, well it's it's not up to code, but 1239 00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,360 Speaker 3: we could do such and such, that tends to bite 1240 00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,800 Speaker 3: you in the ass, you know, like try to and 1241 00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,680 Speaker 3: on everything being up to code. If you can yes, okay, 1242 00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,160 Speaker 3: and have fun with it. 1243 00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:09,560 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's the age whole answer every time, 1244 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:11,480 Speaker 2: will you come to my one woman's show? If I 1245 00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,640 Speaker 2: were to write a new one, Oh boy, you're. 1246 00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:14,560 Speaker 1: My dad for the day. 1247 00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:19,560 Speaker 2: And you still dead be Okay, I was this is 1248 00:55:19,600 --> 00:55:22,560 Speaker 2: a this is an old joke, guys. I'm sorry. We 1249 00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,800 Speaker 2: should fill everyone. Yes, please got maybe your version of 1250 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:25,279 Speaker 2: the story. 1251 00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:26,160 Speaker 1: The truth. 1252 00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:28,600 Speaker 3: Well, I know had a one woman show and it 1253 00:55:28,719 --> 00:55:30,520 Speaker 3: just never worked out the timing for me. 1254 00:55:30,560 --> 00:55:32,200 Speaker 1: They're going to say my one woman's show didn't work out. 1255 00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,040 Speaker 3: It wasn't gonna know it. From what I hear, it 1256 00:55:34,120 --> 00:55:37,440 Speaker 3: was great, but there was one time where I almost 1257 00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,440 Speaker 3: ended up going. Right, it's like that something happens. 1258 00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:42,480 Speaker 2: I think something did happen, but I think it's like 1259 00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,600 Speaker 2: sitting out on the stoop. Like they said, Dad's going. 1260 00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:46,280 Speaker 1: To pick up this weekend and I have my bags 1261 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:46,959 Speaker 1: and he told me he's. 1262 00:55:46,840 --> 00:55:48,920 Speaker 3: Gonna You don't care if this is just this is 1263 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:50,719 Speaker 3: a bid, right, you don't care if I went or not? 1264 00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:51,799 Speaker 1: No, I do care. 1265 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:53,920 Speaker 2: I'm going to write another one woman's show and I 1266 00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:55,839 Speaker 2: want to come, even if it's in New York. 1267 00:55:56,320 --> 00:56:01,239 Speaker 3: I mean, oh, will you fly business class? Yes? 1268 00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:05,440 Speaker 2: Okay, that's also ines You're funny. 1269 00:56:06,680 --> 00:56:07,400 Speaker 1: I love Scott. 1270 00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,799 Speaker 2: Okay, thank you so much for being here and having 1271 00:56:10,840 --> 00:56:12,200 Speaker 2: this earnest conversation with me. 1272 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,560 Speaker 3: Yes, I feel like we barely scratch the surface, even 1273 00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:16,600 Speaker 3: I feel like I'll learn even more. So if you 1274 00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:18,319 Speaker 3: continue doing the show, I would love to come back. 1275 00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:20,160 Speaker 2: I would absolutely love you to come back. I also 1276 00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:22,400 Speaker 2: feel like we barely script the surface. But I oddly 1277 00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:25,080 Speaker 2: I've known Scott now for years. I think since the 1278 00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:26,239 Speaker 2: year hold on. 1279 00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:29,680 Speaker 3: Math Mathweth twenty seventeen, That's what I'm gonna. 1280 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,200 Speaker 2: Say, twenty seventeen. And I didn't know all of this, 1281 00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:34,480 Speaker 2: and so it feels really nice. And we've gone on 1282 00:56:34,560 --> 00:56:37,560 Speaker 2: tour together and we've you know, gotten to do Bang Bang, 1283 00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:40,200 Speaker 2: which is like a true joy of my life as 1284 00:56:40,280 --> 00:56:42,080 Speaker 2: well having you on. Yeah, thank you, And guys, listen 1285 00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:42,879 Speaker 2: to comedy Bang Bang. 1286 00:56:42,960 --> 00:56:45,160 Speaker 1: It's pure joy. It truly pure joy. 1287 00:56:45,280 --> 00:56:46,759 Speaker 3: And listen to this show. Go back and listen to 1288 00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:47,319 Speaker 3: this one again. 1289 00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:49,239 Speaker 1: Yes, and we're gonna have Scott come back and be 1290 00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,440 Speaker 1: mi dad. We'll see if we can get and come 1291 00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:51,120 Speaker 1: back a second time. 1292 00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:51,879 Speaker 3: I am your father. 1293 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:56,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it, Thank you, Scott, I love you, Dad. Okay, bye, guys. 1294 00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,920 Speaker 2: Thanks Dad is a headgu podcast created and hosted by 1295 00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:04,880 Speaker 2: me Ago Wodem. The show is produced and edited by 1296 00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:08,719 Speaker 2: Anita Flores and engineered by Anita Flores and Anya Kanevskaya 1297 00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:10,800 Speaker 2: with executive producer Emma Foley. 1298 00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,800 Speaker 1: Katie Moose is our VP of Content at Headgum. 1299 00:57:14,120 --> 00:57:17,240 Speaker 2: Thanks to Jason Mathany for our show art and Faris 1300 00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:20,680 Speaker 2: Moanschi for our theme song. For more podcasts by Headgum, 1301 00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:23,800 Speaker 2: visit headgum dot com or wherever you listen to your 1302 00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:27,560 Speaker 2: favorite shows. Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and maybe, 1303 00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,200 Speaker 2: just maybe we'll read it on a future episode 1304 00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:34,240 Speaker 3: That was a head gum podcast