WEBVTT - How Men Think with Tyler Stanaland 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:03.960 We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:08.760 is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Everyone. 0:00:09.000 --> 0:00:11.160 I'm Tyler Standlon and you may know me from the 0:00:11.160 --> 0:00:14.200 new Netflix series Selling DC. I'm so happy to be 0:00:14.280 --> 0:00:16.759 here guest hosting How Men Think, and I'm going to 0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:19.280 answer all your questions and try and help you understand 0:00:19.640 --> 0:00:23.120 how Men Think. But first, this is eleven Questions with Tyler. 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:27.360 Let's get into it. What are you known for? Tell 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:31.840 us about yourself. UM, I'm probably best known for surfing 0:00:32.159 --> 0:00:37.000 and selling houses. I'm fourth generation surfer and fifth generation 0:00:37.040 --> 0:00:39.680 real estate. So whether I wanted to or not, those 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:41.560 are probably gonna be fields that I had some sort 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:46.479 of involvement in. UM, and luckily I love both of them. 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:50.760 Who are you in personal life? Who are you in 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:56.160 your personal life? UM? Who am I in my personal life? 0:00:57.120 --> 0:01:00.639 It's a tough question. I would say. In my personal life, 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:04.240 I'm probably I like an introverted extrovert. I love to 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.120 be social, but I also like to come home and 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:11.280 be with myself. UM. I spent a lot of time 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:14.680 at the beach. UM. That's kind of like my my church. 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.960 I guess I need the ocean or I become a 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:21.800 grumpy Human. Three shows you are binge watching well number 0:01:21.800 --> 0:01:25.600 one selling the d O C. I binged it. You 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:29.840 should binge it. That's great. I also just binged alone, 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:33.000 which is so fascinating that people are able to survive 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:36.160 in the wilderness for months at a time with no 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:40.400 help or intervention unless they have some sort of medical emergency. 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:44.039 That was mind blowing. And I got sucked in um. 0:01:44.120 --> 0:01:48.080 And then lastly, let's see, I actually just saw that 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:50.960 Ozarks had new episodes, and I just started diving out. 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.960 I watched the first two seasons, and then I somehow 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:56.800 just forgot about it and started watching last night, and 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:01.160 I'm already hooked on the latest seasons. Let's see, what 0:02:01.480 --> 0:02:06.120 is my favorite food? My favorite foods probably I don't know. 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:07.720 I'm still like a five year old. So my favorite 0:02:07.760 --> 0:02:10.440 food is probably French fries. If I'm in a restaurant, 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:12.960 I'll order French fries no matter what, Like with a 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:16.200 salade with a burger, I get an actually side of fries. 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.080 I just I feel like you can't eat at a 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:22.200 restaurant without ordering fries. Tell us about my career. So 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:25.680 my career is I am a surferd I'm also in 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:29.800 real estate. My main focus now is in real estate UM, 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:31.600 and I've been in the business for a long time. 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:35.400 I had license when I was I've got licensed twelve 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.360 or thirteen years ago now. And UM it's kind of 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:40.080 the family trade. So when I was in high school, 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:42.440 my family had a brokerage. I was working in the office. 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:45.080 Kind of is just like a water boy, but I 0:02:45.120 --> 0:02:47.320 was just exposed to a lot, which really benefited my 0:02:47.360 --> 0:02:49.280 career long term. And then I worked with the family 0:02:50.120 --> 0:02:52.000 UM for a number of years and now I'm at 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:56.880 the appan end group. What is your biggest fear in life? Oh, 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:01.400 maybe sharks, and they spent a lot of time in 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:04.200 the ocean, and I still have a pretty healthy fear 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:07.480 of sharks. Um. I love them as animals, but I'm 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:11.400 still terrified of them. What's your biggest pet peeve? My 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.720 biggest pet peeve is loud chewers. I don't know why 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.639 we can't just chew with our mouth closes. We're taught 0:03:16.680 --> 0:03:19.000 at a very young age to keep our mouth closed. 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:20.560 But people that are chewing at them out that win 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:22.920 and talking and you're seeing the food and food is flying. 0:03:23.840 --> 0:03:27.120 It's a It's an ick for me. It's a major hick. Um. 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:30.560 What makes me most happy the beach and the ocean. 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:34.440 It's something that was fortunate. I was fortunate enough to 0:03:34.480 --> 0:03:38.240 grow up in Laguna Beach and the beach was kind 0:03:38.240 --> 0:03:40.680 of like our playground, and so every day after school 0:03:40.720 --> 0:03:44.120 we were surfing and skin boarding and fishing. And UM, 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:46.160 it is a place that I need and a place 0:03:46.200 --> 0:03:48.200 that makes me a better me and something that was 0:03:48.240 --> 0:03:50.400 a huge part of my life. UM, and that I 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:54.320 hope I never have to live without. UM. What is 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:58.440 your ideal Saturday morning? When ideal Saturday morning with me 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:04.440 to wake up and go surfing, come home, have coffee, breakfast, 0:04:05.360 --> 0:04:08.080 maybe go for a workout, go for a run or something. UM, 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.840 not much of like a like a weightlifter or like 0:04:10.920 --> 0:04:13.800 June kind of guy, but physical activity of some sort, 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:16.280 and then maybe back to the beach if it's a 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.960 nice day. Um. As you can see, I'm very boring 0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.080 and just like to spend my time at the beach. 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:25.960 Are you more of an athlete or an armchair quarterback? 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:30.320 I would say athlete probably. I want to be like 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.080 in there with the action doing it. But I will 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:36.240 say I'm not a quarterback. Um. You'll see in selling BOC. 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:37.520 I don't know if it's in there or not, but 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:39.239 I try to throw a football and I've never really 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:41.599 thrown a football, and it was about as bad as 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:43.359 it gets. It looked like I threw it with my 0:04:43.960 --> 0:04:46.920 with my left arm or something. It was crazy. So 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:49.320 luckily if it's if it's football, I might be an 0:04:49.400 --> 0:04:55.159 armchair quarterback. Um. What keeps me motivated? Um? A lot 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:59.840 of things keep me motivated. I I'm motivated by you. 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.880 My dad is a very successful reader in Orange County, 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:06.200 so I've got some big shoes to feel. That motivates me. Um. 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:10.040 But personally, I'm just usual. I'm a driven person. I'm 0:05:10.120 --> 0:05:14.560 very goal oriented and I set high standards, so I'm 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:19.760 constantly trying to be more than what I've already accomplished. 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:24.240 And I'm not easily satisfied with myself in a healthy way, 0:05:24.480 --> 0:05:29.000 so I would say myself. Yeah, So that was eleven 0:05:29.080 --> 0:05:31.080 questions with me. We're gonna take a quick break and 0:05:31.120 --> 0:05:42.360 we'll be back with some line of colors. Hey, everyone, 0:05:42.480 --> 0:05:45.320 welcome back to Premier Break. I'm Tyler stand Land from 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.960 Selling the OC. Your your guest host today of How 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:53.000 Men Think? And um, let's jump into some lot of colors. Hi, Brenda, 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:56.000 how are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good, 0:05:56.200 --> 0:06:00.880 I'm good. What's going on? Uh? Well, I'm feeling discouraged, 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:06.960 just like in general about all dating at all. Um. 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:10.599 I tried this dating you know, the dating app you 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:13.240 go on in and you delete in whatever, the whole cycle, 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:18.000 and my it's just not working. My friend put me 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:21.599 on a double date and it went really well, but 0:06:21.680 --> 0:06:24.560 then like two days later he was like, I'm not 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:27.479 feeling it, and I don't. I like that, Like, I'm 0:06:27.520 --> 0:06:30.960 glad that he told me so fast, but also like, 0:06:31.040 --> 0:06:34.320 how do you know if you don't like me with one? 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:38.120 I just think this happens a lot. We're we all 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:41.400 have these high expectations and so we're saying no so fast, 0:06:41.440 --> 0:06:43.760 and what if we miss something? How do I deal 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:47.160 with that? I could not agree more. I think it's 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.640 funny too, because I think now with dating apps and 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.600 social media, there's almost like it's almost like you're a 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:55.880 kid in the camps. Whether there's so many options that 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:57.960 even though you really like twigs, you're still looking at 0:06:58.000 --> 0:07:00.000 like the kit kats and the butterfingers, and it's all 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.960 to the options that it's confusing. So it is tough. 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:05.200 I mean, have you reached out to see if maybe 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:10.240 there was a spark for a second chance or something? Uh? 0:07:10.240 --> 0:07:13.320 And I mean no, I feel like I wouldn't be 0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.120 able to do that. That would be really embarrassing because 0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:18.520 I got rejected. It's I'm rejected. He doesn't want me, 0:07:18.840 --> 0:07:21.360 and now what do? What else am I supposed to do? 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:25.000 I get that, I get that sometimes sometimes those guys 0:07:25.000 --> 0:07:27.880 are I mean, I don't know this. I know with 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.800 with me personally, sometimes guys are shy and and it's 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.440 attractive when a girl takes a shot. But I don't know, 0:07:33.640 --> 0:07:37.200 at least at the very least, maybe better to find 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:41.400 out now than later. And at some point you'll meet 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:44.880 somebody in the grocery store or or on a dating 0:07:44.920 --> 0:07:47.320 app that you know, we'll want a second date and 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:50.840 the third date. So what you're saying is I have 0:07:50.920 --> 0:07:55.320 no control or the situation. You just have to let 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:58.400 go kind of and when you know, you know, and 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:02.440 when they know, they'll know. And unfortunately it's just dating 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.160 is tough. It's a it's a wild ride. But you 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:07.280 will find that person, and that person will find you, 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:11.000 and it will make all these experiences worth it, all right, 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:15.320 I'll hold you to that. Okay, perfect? Hey Zoe, how 0:08:15.360 --> 0:08:19.560 are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good? I'm good. 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.880 What's going on? Well, I just got into a new 0:08:22.920 --> 0:08:26.000 relationship with someone I knew from college. I mean, we're 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.760 currently living in different states, so you know we're doing 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:33.720 this long distance. Um. He's not a big social media 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:37.880 guy yet. The last three out of his five posts 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:48.040 on Instagram are of his ex girlfriend. His ex girlfriend, Yeah, 0:08:46.000 --> 0:08:50.920 they're a mixture. I mean I didn't look like they 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:53.440 were from a long time ago, but you know they 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:57.840 weren't this week, so you know. I asked him to 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.840 take them down, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't 0:09:00.840 --> 0:09:02.839 want to make her feel bad. So then I said, hey, 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:05.200 why don't you post some of me instead? And he 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:08.760 suppose he doesn't like to post on his Instagram, Like, um, 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:11.480 I add a line here to be upset about this, Like, 0:09:11.600 --> 0:09:14.680 how do I get him to take these photos down? Yeah? See, 0:09:14.720 --> 0:09:17.360 social media is a tricky thing, and it's something that 0:09:17.679 --> 0:09:20.439 you know, previous generations didn't have to deal with, but 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:25.240 it is a factor in dating. Are they are they 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.920 close friends still? Because because because I've dated people that 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.120 you know, they end up their exes end up being 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.400 best friends and they're really close and it can feel 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:38.040 awkward at times, but truly it is just a friendship. 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:40.600 Is it that sort of a same situation or is 0:09:40.640 --> 0:09:44.200 it unclear? Yeah? Yeah, I think it's probably that, but 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:47.120 I don't really believe in that being a good thing, 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:50.800 you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, it works for 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.880 some it doesn't for others. I mean, if he is, 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:56.760 it's something that you just got to communicate and tell 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:00.439 him why. And if he's not receptive to it, then 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:03.680 maybe that's something that leads to a further conversation of 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:06.680 you know, what makes sense for you both long term, 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:11.320 because ultimately, you want somebody that chooses you, and you know, 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:13.280 you don't want something to cut their their friends out. 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:16.520 But also if you're gonna invest your time with somebody, 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.120 you want them to, you know, reciprocate in ways that 0:10:19.160 --> 0:10:23.640 make you feel safe. Yeah that's great, Thank you? Yeah? 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:27.199 How the else? Thanks? It? Does I have to talk 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:33.680 to them all? Right? Well? Thank you? Zoe? Thanks by right, Hi, Testa, 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:38.800 this is Tyler. How are you okay? What's going on? 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:45.800 Let's hear it? Okay? Um? This is hard? Uh, So 0:10:46.200 --> 0:10:49.880 my girlfriends and I were out the other night and 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:51.880 we ran it was like a girl's night out, you know, 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:56.120 we do this every few months, and we ran into, um, 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:59.280 we ran into some of my husband's buddies weirdly enough. UM. 0:10:59.320 --> 0:11:02.000 And then we just sort of joined us and kind 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.079 of tagged along with us for the rest of the night, 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:07.000 which was kind of fun. It wasn't expected. It was stung. 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:10.880 We're all having a good time. Um. And then later, uh, 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:15.280 we were all dancing on dance floor and just out 0:11:15.320 --> 0:11:20.160 of nowhere, one of his friends kissed me. And but 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:22.720 that's honestly, that's not even the worst part. The worst 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.960 part is that I kissed him back, and um, for 0:11:26.120 --> 0:11:29.439 what is worth, I was. I was a little buzzed. 0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:31.560 I mean, I know that's not an excuse, but I 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:35.199 just wanted to add that. And I feel like garbage. 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:40.840 I feel like absolute garbage. Um. But so later that night, UM, 0:11:40.880 --> 0:11:44.400 he texted me just you know, begging me not to 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:47.800 tell my husband, obviously because they're really good friends and 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.719 and I don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:51.439 know what to do. I don't like keeping things from 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:54.560 my husband. We don't have that kind of relationship, you know. 0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:58.280 But at the same time, I'm I'm terrified to telling him. 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.400 I mean this, I don't want to lose him. I 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.480 don't want to get a divorce. I don't know what 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.280 to do. I also don't want to hurt him, you know. 0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:08.800 So it's like, maybe it's better if I don't tell 0:12:08.880 --> 0:12:11.120 him because it didn't mean anything. You know, it was 0:12:11.160 --> 0:12:15.880 just a stupid mistake and it's never gonna happen again. 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.320 And I don't even know it's if it's just one 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.080 of those things I can just bury and never you know, 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:23.560 pretend it never happened. But I'm also scared because it 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:24.920 was his buddy. I don't know. I don't know what 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:28.320 to do. I totally get that. I totally get that. 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.520 I think it is sticky because even though it didn't 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:35.160 mean anything, it still happened, and it affects your relationship. 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.679 I think, you know, I don't know your relationship and 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:41.320 the dynamic between you and your husband. So I'll just 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:43.840 speak for myself. I think if I was your husband, 0:12:44.480 --> 0:12:47.280 I would rather know than not know. And then if 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:49.320 I found out, you know, years down the road, it 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:51.480 may feel like a bigger deal. Then if it was 0:12:51.520 --> 0:12:55.360 like a Hey, things got out of control, made a mistake. 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:58.360 I am so sorry. Never gonna happen again. You know, 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:04.439 I think I think that typically honesty with me is 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:07.600 always still best policy, and it tends to hurt less. 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:09.280 It might see a bit at first, but at least 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:11.800 at least you can sleep at night knowing that you know, 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:16.480 I was told sort of a thing. Um. But but 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:22.040 it is tough. It's tough, I think, yeah, I think, yeah, 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:23.719 it's one of those things I wish that there was 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:25.360 I wish it was something that I could give you 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:27.760 a yes or no, this is the right or wrong thing. 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:30.440 But it's it's a situational thing. But if it was me, 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:35.000 I would like to know. I think it's it's extra 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:37.800 complicated because it is his friend and it was so stupid, 0:13:37.840 --> 0:13:41.200 and it mean what you're saying, it's actually my gut instinct. 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:43.800 I mean, I want to tell him, but I'm just 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:47.040 so terrified of seeing his face. And I'm also terrified 0:13:47.080 --> 0:13:50.920 of him changing how he feels. This is changing how 0:13:50.920 --> 0:13:53.720 he feels about me. And but you know, if this 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:55.840 was a stranger, I feel like, well I could probably 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:58.200 keep this, you know, bury it, and keep this my secret. 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:00.400 The rest of my life. But even though his friend 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:04.160 is begging me right now not to tell him, what 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.480 if one day he does decided to tell him. I 0:14:06.480 --> 0:14:08.000 don't know, I mean, but I also don't want to 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:16.480 ruin their friendship, and it's God, what have I done? Yeah, 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:19.320 I hear you. So I had a similar experience in 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:22.720 the workplace where somebody tried to kiss me. But I 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:27.520 think the biggest difference there was just even though nothing happened, 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:30.920 I still felt the need to communicate it to my partner, 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:34.480 and it made a big difference in our relationship just 0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:39.000 knowing what happened. I think having it not knowing can 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:42.600 sometimes create a bigger issue. If that. Do you think 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:46.240 that you think I'm gonna Do you think my marriage 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:49.680 is in jeopardy over this? Do you think that's the 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.160 thing I'm scared of the most? Yeah, I mean, I 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:55.800 don't know the dynamic of your marriage. I I think 0:14:55.840 --> 0:14:58.600 I would have an easier time if my partner came 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.600 to me and said I made a mistake. I kissed 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:03.680 somebody meant nothing. It was like one second we were 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:07.000 dancing and things were crazy. But I don't know, you know, 0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:09.280 I don't know how he would react. I don't know 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:14.080 the long term history there, but um, in my opinion, 0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:18.800 honesty is always the best policy. Yeah, it's time, but 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:23.960 that's just that's that's what I would do. You're you're 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:28.280 pretty much, You're pretty much. Yeah, it's it's pretty much 0:15:28.280 --> 0:15:32.520 how I feel. You're you're sort of validating. But thank you, 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:35.240 of course, of course I hope that helps and hopefully 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:43.400 everything works out. Oh yeah, thanks, all right, Tessa, It's 0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:46.760 Tyler Standel And how are you good? Are you good? 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:49.520 I'm good? What's going on? How how can we help today? 0:15:50.000 --> 0:15:54.400 So I am thirty two and I'm single, and I'm 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.000 just in a place where all my friends are married, 0:15:57.200 --> 0:16:00.880 they're starting to have kids, and I just find myself 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:03.680 getting invited to more bridle and baby showers that actually 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:06.520 out to like dinner and drinks. You know. I've been 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:08.720 trying the apps, but I just have not had a 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.880 lot of success on them. And I try to go out, 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:12.760 but I just don't have very many friends willing to 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:14.680 just go out and grab a drink with me anymore. 0:16:15.320 --> 0:16:17.680 I'm just wondering, like if you can help me, Like, 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:19.320 what are some other ways I can try and meet 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:23.120 men beside the apps? And bars. That is a good 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.560 question because so I'm thirty three, I'm married, and I 0:16:25.560 --> 0:16:28.600 would say my friends are fift split between being married 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:30.960 and having like a whole herd of children and still 0:16:31.040 --> 0:16:35.680 out at the bars. So um, it's tough. Do you like, 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:38.800 what are what sort of hobbies do you enjoy doing? Well, 0:16:38.840 --> 0:16:41.280 I'm really into fitness, you know. I like to meet 0:16:41.360 --> 0:16:44.440 the gym, I like to hike. Um, but it's really 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.120 hard because when you go to the gym, everyone's kind 0:16:46.160 --> 0:16:48.240 of in their zone and no one really wants to 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:51.720 approach you, especially you know, out here. So it's just 0:16:51.840 --> 0:16:55.960 challenging to to meet someone. Yeah. Yeah, I would say 0:16:56.240 --> 0:17:00.160 maybe in the gym. I mean, guys, guys are shot, 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:03.760 guys are we're like, we're the worst if we were. 0:17:04.400 --> 0:17:07.600 Most of us have another game, myself included, like zero game. 0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.080 So sometimes if you see a guy that you have 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:12.760 your your eye on, maybe you make the first move, 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:17.040 which isn't you know, the norm or what we're used to, 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:20.200 But sometimes that's what it's going to take to make somebody, 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:24.679 you know, come talk to you. Yeah. No, that's a 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:26.320 great idea. I just have to work up the nerve 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:28.960 to do it. It's not the easiest thing. Yeah, I 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.840 believe being being married. I do not miss that. So 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:34.280 it's never good at it and I just yeah, but 0:17:34.920 --> 0:17:36.720 sometimes that is what it takes. And maybe in the 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:40.760 gym or you know, maybe hiking, maybe as you're passing 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.600 by somebody, some stubble walk by and you'll ask them 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:45.720 what time it is or something. I don't know. Don't 0:17:46.040 --> 0:17:48.560 just don't be afraid to make the first move. I think, 0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:54.520 thank you, I'll try, I'll try. It sounds good, thank you, 0:17:55.400 --> 0:18:01.240 thank you. Hi, Hi Mary, how are you good? Thanks 0:18:01.240 --> 0:18:06.840 for Colin? Sure? What's um? What's going on? Okay, So 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:12.320 here's the deal. Um, my boyfriend and I we've been 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:16.360 together for three years and he wants us to buy 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:23.240 a house together. Um. Our finances so far are completely separate, 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:26.480 and I just feel like that is like a huge, 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:31.760 major first financial commitment together. And his thinking is kind 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:35.960 of like, I'm not taking our relationship seriously because I 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:38.520 have hesitations about that. So I guess I'm just wondering 0:18:38.520 --> 0:18:41.400 if you guys have any advice for like an am 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:46.600 married couple an unmarried couple trying to buy a house together. Well, 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:49.560 good thing you should ask. I am a realtor, so 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:54.440 that actually works out well good. That is a big decision, 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:59.520 both financially and relationally. Um, do you are their plans 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:01.720 to be married or you guys still trying to figure 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:03.760 it out. I mean, I feel like we're in it 0:19:03.880 --> 0:19:07.680 to win it, but we're not engaged. So you know, 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:12.080 would you if you were engaged, would it make the 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:15.600 decision ultimately easier to buy a house? I mean a 0:19:15.680 --> 0:19:19.280 little bit, just because there's a commitment there that as 0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:25.119 boyfriend and girlfriend isn't there is that financial big steps 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.480 So yeah, well, if you're in it to win it, 0:19:28.680 --> 0:19:30.639 then I mean maybe it wouldn't be the worst say 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:33.919 to you to have a conversation with him and say like, hey, baby, 0:19:34.160 --> 0:19:36.600 I'm in this. You know you're in this. We we 0:19:36.640 --> 0:19:39.879 want to start a family or or just buy a house, 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:44.640 start a future. But it feels weird to combine our 0:19:44.720 --> 0:19:47.520 finances and invest in something that we're paying off for 0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:50.480 the next thirty years when my left finger is still 0:19:50.880 --> 0:19:54.760 very barren. You know. Yeah, do you think that? How 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:56.680 do you think he would react to something like that? 0:19:58.720 --> 0:20:01.879 I mean, I I don't really know, because to me, 0:20:01.960 --> 0:20:03.960 it's like, if you want to move in together, then 0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:07.520 like what difference does it? Like might as well get married, 0:20:07.600 --> 0:20:10.000 But I don't know. I feel like maybe he's like 0:20:10.000 --> 0:20:12.560 a little bit weird about marriage because of like his 0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:15.920 situation with his parents being divorced and all that stuff. 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:18.160 I mean, I I don't know, it's kind of a 0:20:18.160 --> 0:20:21.160 sticky situation. I guess that makes sense. So do you 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:24.840 do you guys not currently live together now? We do 0:20:24.920 --> 0:20:29.280 live together now, but we rent okay? Cool? Yeah, I 0:20:29.320 --> 0:20:33.200 mean it's a big decision and it made Marriage isn't 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:37.080 for everyone either, but you know, buying a house is 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:39.960 essentially the same thing. You're locking yourself into something for 0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:43.640 you know, most times thirty years, So you gotta really 0:20:43.640 --> 0:20:45.720 like the person and they got to stick it out 0:20:45.720 --> 0:20:50.560 with you, yea, So maybe a conversation. I don't know, 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:53.679 that's that's that's a tough one, but that way, at 0:20:53.720 --> 0:20:56.000 least if you can communicate on both sides and no 0:20:56.040 --> 0:21:00.520 one has left feeling resentful or like, you know, out 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:03.399 to dry right well, And I guess I too, also, 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:06.560 Like it sounds crazy to say because we're not married, 0:21:06.600 --> 0:21:08.560 but like I want to make sure we're both like 0:21:09.680 --> 0:21:12.359 legally protective, like both of us, so neither one can 0:21:12.440 --> 0:21:14.520 like screw the other one with like up, we're leaving 0:21:14.520 --> 0:21:19.040 you with a thirty your mortgage. You're stuck, so totally totally. Yeah, 0:21:19.359 --> 0:21:21.959 it's a big it's a big commitment on both sides. 0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:24.600 And if you guys are you know, if you're both 0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:26.639 in it, it's an awesome thing. And if you're not, 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:29.359 then yeah, somebody could get stuck with a big bill 0:21:29.680 --> 0:21:32.480 for sure. All Right, Well, if we find a place, 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:34.520 I'll make sure I send you the specs so you 0:21:34.520 --> 0:21:37.080 can give me a real brain on it. Send you 0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:39.720 over to me. I will give you all the info 0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:42.600 I have. Okay, great, all right, and Mary, thank you 0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:47.240 so much. Thanks. Well, that wraps it up. Thanks for 0:21:47.280 --> 0:21:49.480 all your calls today. We're gonna take a quick break 0:21:49.520 --> 0:22:00.920 and we'll be right back. Well, come back from your break. 0:22:01.000 --> 0:22:03.360 I'm your guest host today. Tyler stand Land on how 0:22:03.400 --> 0:22:07.320 men think we are going to get into the Q 0:22:07.440 --> 0:22:10.040 and A. Now, um, how did you and your wife 0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:16.000 Brittany me? We we actually met? What's funny? Are? Essentially 0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:18.719 I slid into her d M with the worst pickup 0:22:18.760 --> 0:22:21.800 line possible. I she was at an event and she 0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:26.720 looked amazing, and I said, behave town. USA population you 0:22:28.000 --> 0:22:30.040 and it took I took a couple of days to respond. 0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:32.000 It was so lame, but she did and I redeemed 0:22:32.000 --> 0:22:36.000 myself with a couple of lines. But um, oddly enough, 0:22:36.040 --> 0:22:38.840 we actually had a few, well a few, A couple 0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:41.160 of our exits dated and so we were like aware 0:22:41.200 --> 0:22:43.600