Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This
Speaker 1: is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Everyone.
Speaker 1: I'm Tyler Standlon and you may know me from the
Speaker 1: new Netflix series Selling DC. I'm so happy to be
Speaker 1: here guest hosting How Men Think, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: answer all your questions and try and help you understand
Speaker 1: how Men Think. But first, this is eleven Questions with Tyler.
Speaker 1: Let's get into it. What are you known for? Tell
Speaker 1: us about yourself. UM, I'm probably best known for surfing
Speaker 1: and selling houses. I'm fourth generation surfer and fifth generation
Speaker 1: real estate. So whether I wanted to or not, those
Speaker 1: are probably gonna be fields that I had some sort
Speaker 1: of involvement in. UM, and luckily I love both of them.
Speaker 1: Who are you in personal life? Who are you in
Speaker 1: your personal life? UM? Who am I in my personal life?
Speaker 1: It's a tough question. I would say. In my personal life,
Speaker 1: I'm probably I like an introverted extrovert. I love to
Speaker 1: be social, but I also like to come home and
Speaker 1: be with myself. UM. I spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: at the beach. UM. That's kind of like my my church.
Speaker 1: I guess I need the ocean or I become a
Speaker 1: grumpy Human. Three shows you are binge watching well number
Speaker 1: one selling the d O C. I binged it. You
Speaker 1: should binge it. That's great. I also just binged alone,
Speaker 1: which is so fascinating that people are able to survive
Speaker 1: in the wilderness for months at a time with no
Speaker 1: help or intervention unless they have some sort of medical emergency.
Speaker 1: That was mind blowing. And I got sucked in um.
Speaker 1: And then lastly, let's see, I actually just saw that
Speaker 1: Ozarks had new episodes, and I just started diving out.
Speaker 1: I watched the first two seasons, and then I somehow
Speaker 1: just forgot about it and started watching last night, and
Speaker 1: I'm already hooked on the latest seasons. Let's see, what
Speaker 1: is my favorite food? My favorite foods probably I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm still like a five year old. So my favorite
Speaker 1: food is probably French fries. If I'm in a restaurant,
Speaker 1: I'll order French fries no matter what, Like with a
Speaker 1: salade with a burger, I get an actually side of fries.
Speaker 1: I just I feel like you can't eat at a
Speaker 1: restaurant without ordering fries. Tell us about my career. So
Speaker 1: my career is I am a surferd I'm also in
Speaker 1: real estate. My main focus now is in real estate UM,
Speaker 1: and I've been in the business for a long time.
Speaker 1: I had license when I was I've got licensed twelve
Speaker 1: or thirteen years ago now. And UM it's kind of
Speaker 1: the family trade. So when I was in high school,
Speaker 1: my family had a brokerage. I was working in the office.
Speaker 1: Kind of is just like a water boy, but I
Speaker 1: was just exposed to a lot, which really benefited my
Speaker 1: career long term. And then I worked with the family
Speaker 1: UM for a number of years and now I'm at
Speaker 1: the appan end group. What is your biggest fear in life? Oh,
Speaker 1: maybe sharks, and they spent a lot of time in
Speaker 1: the ocean, and I still have a pretty healthy fear
Speaker 1: of sharks. Um. I love them as animals, but I'm
Speaker 1: still terrified of them. What's your biggest pet peeve? My
Speaker 1: biggest pet peeve is loud chewers. I don't know why
Speaker 1: we can't just chew with our mouth closes. We're taught
Speaker 1: at a very young age to keep our mouth closed.
Speaker 1: But people that are chewing at them out that win
Speaker 1: and talking and you're seeing the food and food is flying.
Speaker 1: It's a It's an ick for me. It's a major hick. Um.
Speaker 1: What makes me most happy the beach and the ocean.
Speaker 1: It's something that was fortunate. I was fortunate enough to
Speaker 1: grow up in Laguna Beach and the beach was kind
Speaker 1: of like our playground, and so every day after school
Speaker 1: we were surfing and skin boarding and fishing. And UM,
Speaker 1: it is a place that I need and a place
Speaker 1: that makes me a better me and something that was
Speaker 1: a huge part of my life. UM, and that I
Speaker 1: hope I never have to live without. UM. What is
Speaker 1: your ideal Saturday morning? When ideal Saturday morning with me
Speaker 1: to wake up and go surfing, come home, have coffee, breakfast,
Speaker 1: maybe go for a workout, go for a run or something. UM,
Speaker 1: not much of like a like a weightlifter or like
Speaker 1: June kind of guy, but physical activity of some sort,
Speaker 1: and then maybe back to the beach if it's a
Speaker 1: nice day. Um. As you can see, I'm very boring
Speaker 1: and just like to spend my time at the beach.
Speaker 1: Are you more of an athlete or an armchair quarterback?
Speaker 1: I would say athlete probably. I want to be like
Speaker 1: in there with the action doing it. But I will
Speaker 1: say I'm not a quarterback. Um. You'll see in selling BOC.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's in there or not, but
Speaker 1: I try to throw a football and I've never really
Speaker 1: thrown a football, and it was about as bad as
Speaker 1: it gets. It looked like I threw it with my
Speaker 1: with my left arm or something. It was crazy. So
Speaker 1: luckily if it's if it's football, I might be an
Speaker 1: armchair quarterback. Um. What keeps me motivated? Um? A lot
Speaker 1: of things keep me motivated. I I'm motivated by you.
Speaker 1: My dad is a very successful reader in Orange County,
Speaker 1: so I've got some big shoes to feel. That motivates me. Um.
Speaker 1: But personally, I'm just usual. I'm a driven person. I'm
Speaker 1: very goal oriented and I set high standards, so I'm
Speaker 1: constantly trying to be more than what I've already accomplished.
Speaker 1: And I'm not easily satisfied with myself in a healthy way,
Speaker 1: so I would say myself. Yeah, So that was eleven
Speaker 1: questions with me. We're gonna take a quick break and
Speaker 1: we'll be back with some line of colors. Hey, everyone,
Speaker 1: welcome back to Premier Break. I'm Tyler stand Land from
Speaker 1: Selling the OC. Your your guest host today of How
Speaker 1: Men Think? And um, let's jump into some lot of colors. Hi, Brenda,
Speaker 1: how are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good,
Speaker 1: I'm good. What's going on? Uh? Well, I'm feeling discouraged,
Speaker 1: just like in general about all dating at all. Um.
Speaker 1: I tried this dating you know, the dating app you
Speaker 1: go on in and you delete in whatever, the whole cycle,
Speaker 1: and my it's just not working. My friend put me
Speaker 1: on a double date and it went really well, but
Speaker 1: then like two days later he was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: feeling it, and I don't. I like that, Like, I'm
Speaker 1: glad that he told me so fast, but also like,
Speaker 1: how do you know if you don't like me with one?
Speaker 1: I just think this happens a lot. We're we all
Speaker 1: have these high expectations and so we're saying no so fast,
Speaker 1: and what if we miss something? How do I deal
Speaker 1: with that? I could not agree more. I think it's
Speaker 1: funny too, because I think now with dating apps and
Speaker 1: social media, there's almost like it's almost like you're a
Speaker 1: kid in the camps. Whether there's so many options that
Speaker 1: even though you really like twigs, you're still looking at
Speaker 1: like the kit kats and the butterfingers, and it's all
Speaker 1: to the options that it's confusing. So it is tough.
Speaker 1: I mean, have you reached out to see if maybe
Speaker 1: there was a spark for a second chance or something? Uh?
Speaker 1: And I mean no, I feel like I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to do that. That would be really embarrassing because
Speaker 1: I got rejected. It's I'm rejected. He doesn't want me,
Speaker 1: and now what do? What else am I supposed to do?
Speaker 1: I get that, I get that sometimes sometimes those guys
Speaker 1: are I mean, I don't know this. I know with
Speaker 1: with me personally, sometimes guys are shy and and it's
Speaker 1: attractive when a girl takes a shot. But I don't know,
Speaker 1: at least at the very least, maybe better to find
Speaker 1: out now than later. And at some point you'll meet
Speaker 1: somebody in the grocery store or or on a dating
Speaker 1: app that you know, we'll want a second date and
Speaker 1: the third date. So what you're saying is I have
Speaker 1: no control or the situation. You just have to let
Speaker 1: go kind of and when you know, you know, and
Speaker 1: when they know, they'll know. And unfortunately it's just dating
Speaker 1: is tough. It's a it's a wild ride. But you
Speaker 1: will find that person, and that person will find you,
Speaker 1: and it will make all these experiences worth it, all right,
Speaker 1: I'll hold you to that. Okay, perfect? Hey Zoe, how
Speaker 1: are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good? I'm good.
Speaker 1: What's going on? Well, I just got into a new
Speaker 1: relationship with someone I knew from college. I mean, we're
Speaker 1: currently living in different states, so you know we're doing
Speaker 1: this long distance. Um. He's not a big social media
Speaker 1: guy yet. The last three out of his five posts
Speaker 1: on Instagram are of his ex girlfriend. His ex girlfriend, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're a mixture. I mean I didn't look like they
Speaker 1: were from a long time ago, but you know they
Speaker 1: weren't this week, so you know. I asked him to
Speaker 1: take them down, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't
Speaker 1: want to make her feel bad. So then I said, hey,
Speaker 1: why don't you post some of me instead? And he
Speaker 1: suppose he doesn't like to post on his Instagram, Like, um,
Speaker 1: I add a line here to be upset about this, Like,
Speaker 1: how do I get him to take these photos down? Yeah? See,
Speaker 1: social media is a tricky thing, and it's something that
Speaker 1: you know, previous generations didn't have to deal with, but
Speaker 1: it is a factor in dating. Are they are they
Speaker 1: close friends still? Because because because I've dated people that
Speaker 1: you know, they end up their exes end up being
Speaker 1: best friends and they're really close and it can feel
Speaker 1: awkward at times, but truly it is just a friendship.
Speaker 1: Is it that sort of a same situation or is
Speaker 1: it unclear? Yeah? Yeah, I think it's probably that, but
Speaker 1: I don't really believe in that being a good thing,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, it works for
Speaker 1: some it doesn't for others. I mean, if he is,
Speaker 1: it's something that you just got to communicate and tell
Speaker 1: him why. And if he's not receptive to it, then
Speaker 1: maybe that's something that leads to a further conversation of
Speaker 1: you know, what makes sense for you both long term,
Speaker 1: because ultimately, you want somebody that chooses you, and you know,
Speaker 1: you don't want something to cut their their friends out.
Speaker 1: But also if you're gonna invest your time with somebody,
Speaker 1: you want them to, you know, reciprocate in ways that
Speaker 1: make you feel safe. Yeah that's great, Thank you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: How the else? Thanks? It? Does I have to talk
Speaker 1: to them all? Right? Well? Thank you? Zoe? Thanks by right, Hi, Testa,
Speaker 1: this is Tyler. How are you okay? What's going on?
Speaker 1: Let's hear it? Okay? Um? This is hard? Uh, So
Speaker 1: my girlfriends and I were out the other night and
Speaker 1: we ran it was like a girl's night out, you know,
Speaker 1: we do this every few months, and we ran into, um,
Speaker 1: we ran into some of my husband's buddies weirdly enough. UM.
Speaker 1: And then we just sort of joined us and kind
Speaker 1: of tagged along with us for the rest of the night,
Speaker 1: which was kind of fun. It wasn't expected. It was stung.
Speaker 1: We're all having a good time. Um. And then later, uh,
Speaker 1: we were all dancing on dance floor and just out
Speaker 1: of nowhere, one of his friends kissed me. And but
Speaker 1: that's honestly, that's not even the worst part. The worst
Speaker 1: part is that I kissed him back, and um, for
Speaker 1: what is worth, I was. I was a little buzzed.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know that's not an excuse, but I
Speaker 1: just wanted to add that. And I feel like garbage.
Speaker 1: I feel like absolute garbage. Um. But so later that night, UM,
Speaker 1: he texted me just you know, begging me not to
Speaker 1: tell my husband, obviously because they're really good friends and
Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do. I don't like keeping things from
Speaker 1: my husband. We don't have that kind of relationship, you know.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm I'm terrified to telling him.
Speaker 1: I mean this, I don't want to lose him. I
Speaker 1: don't want to get a divorce. I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. I also don't want to hurt him, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's like, maybe it's better if I don't tell
Speaker 1: him because it didn't mean anything. You know, it was
Speaker 1: just a stupid mistake and it's never gonna happen again.
Speaker 1: And I don't even know it's if it's just one
Speaker 1: of those things I can just bury and never you know,
Speaker 1: pretend it never happened. But I'm also scared because it
Speaker 1: was his buddy. I don't know. I don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. I totally get that. I totally get that.
Speaker 1: I think it is sticky because even though it didn't
Speaker 1: mean anything, it still happened, and it affects your relationship.
Speaker 1: I think, you know, I don't know your relationship and
Speaker 1: the dynamic between you and your husband. So I'll just
Speaker 1: speak for myself. I think if I was your husband,
Speaker 1: I would rather know than not know. And then if
Speaker 1: I found out, you know, years down the road, it
Speaker 1: may feel like a bigger deal. Then if it was
Speaker 1: like a Hey, things got out of control, made a mistake.
Speaker 1: I am so sorry. Never gonna happen again. You know,
Speaker 1: I think I think that typically honesty with me is
Speaker 1: always still best policy, and it tends to hurt less.
Speaker 1: It might see a bit at first, but at least
Speaker 1: at least you can sleep at night knowing that you know,
Speaker 1: I was told sort of a thing. Um. But but
Speaker 1: it is tough. It's tough, I think, yeah, I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's one of those things I wish that there was
Speaker 1: I wish it was something that I could give you
Speaker 1: a yes or no, this is the right or wrong thing.
Speaker 1: But it's it's a situational thing. But if it was me,
Speaker 1: I would like to know. I think it's it's extra
Speaker 1: complicated because it is his friend and it was so stupid,
Speaker 1: and it mean what you're saying, it's actually my gut instinct.
Speaker 1: I mean, I want to tell him, but I'm just
Speaker 1: so terrified of seeing his face. And I'm also terrified
Speaker 1: of him changing how he feels. This is changing how
Speaker 1: he feels about me. And but you know, if this
Speaker 1: was a stranger, I feel like, well I could probably
Speaker 1: keep this, you know, bury it, and keep this my secret.
Speaker 1: The rest of my life. But even though his friend
Speaker 1: is begging me right now not to tell him, what
Speaker 1: if one day he does decided to tell him. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I mean, but I also don't want to
Speaker 1: ruin their friendship, and it's God, what have I done? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I hear you. So I had a similar experience in
Speaker 1: the workplace where somebody tried to kiss me. But I
Speaker 1: think the biggest difference there was just even though nothing happened,
Speaker 1: I still felt the need to communicate it to my partner,
Speaker 1: and it made a big difference in our relationship just
Speaker 1: knowing what happened. I think having it not knowing can
Speaker 1: sometimes create a bigger issue. If that. Do you think
Speaker 1: that you think I'm gonna Do you think my marriage
Speaker 1: is in jeopardy over this? Do you think that's the
Speaker 1: thing I'm scared of the most? Yeah, I mean, I
Speaker 1: don't know the dynamic of your marriage. I I think
Speaker 1: I would have an easier time if my partner came
Speaker 1: to me and said I made a mistake. I kissed
Speaker 1: somebody meant nothing. It was like one second we were
Speaker 1: dancing and things were crazy. But I don't know, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know how he would react. I don't know
Speaker 1: the long term history there, but um, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: honesty is always the best policy. Yeah, it's time, but
Speaker 1: that's just that's that's what I would do. You're you're
Speaker 1: pretty much, You're pretty much. Yeah, it's it's pretty much
Speaker 1: how I feel. You're you're sort of validating. But thank you,
Speaker 1: of course, of course I hope that helps and hopefully
Speaker 1: everything works out. Oh yeah, thanks, all right, Tessa, It's
Speaker 1: Tyler Standel And how are you good? Are you good?
Speaker 1: I'm good? What's going on? How how can we help today?
Speaker 1: So I am thirty two and I'm single, and I'm
Speaker 1: just in a place where all my friends are married,
Speaker 1: they're starting to have kids, and I just find myself
Speaker 1: getting invited to more bridle and baby showers that actually
Speaker 1: out to like dinner and drinks. You know. I've been
Speaker 1: trying the apps, but I just have not had a
Speaker 1: lot of success on them. And I try to go out,
Speaker 1: but I just don't have very many friends willing to
Speaker 1: just go out and grab a drink with me anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm just wondering, like if you can help me, Like,
Speaker 1: what are some other ways I can try and meet
Speaker 1: men beside the apps? And bars. That is a good
Speaker 1: question because so I'm thirty three, I'm married, and I
Speaker 1: would say my friends are fift split between being married
Speaker 1: and having like a whole herd of children and still
Speaker 1: out at the bars. So um, it's tough. Do you like,
Speaker 1: what are what sort of hobbies do you enjoy doing? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm really into fitness, you know. I like to meet
Speaker 1: the gym, I like to hike. Um, but it's really
Speaker 1: hard because when you go to the gym, everyone's kind
Speaker 1: of in their zone and no one really wants to
Speaker 1: approach you, especially you know, out here. So it's just
Speaker 1: challenging to to meet someone. Yeah. Yeah, I would say
Speaker 1: maybe in the gym. I mean, guys, guys are shot,
Speaker 1: guys are we're like, we're the worst if we were.
Speaker 1: Most of us have another game, myself included, like zero game.
Speaker 1: So sometimes if you see a guy that you have
Speaker 1: your your eye on, maybe you make the first move,
Speaker 1: which isn't you know, the norm or what we're used to,
Speaker 1: But sometimes that's what it's going to take to make somebody,
Speaker 1: you know, come talk to you. Yeah. No, that's a
Speaker 1: great idea. I just have to work up the nerve
Speaker 1: to do it. It's not the easiest thing. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: believe being being married. I do not miss that. So
Speaker 1: it's never good at it and I just yeah, but
Speaker 1: sometimes that is what it takes. And maybe in the
Speaker 1: gym or you know, maybe hiking, maybe as you're passing
Speaker 1: by somebody, some stubble walk by and you'll ask them
Speaker 1: what time it is or something. I don't know. Don't
Speaker 1: just don't be afraid to make the first move. I think,
Speaker 1: thank you, I'll try, I'll try. It sounds good, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Hi, Hi Mary, how are you good? Thanks
Speaker 1: for Colin? Sure? What's um? What's going on? Okay, So
Speaker 1: here's the deal. Um, my boyfriend and I we've been
Speaker 1: together for three years and he wants us to buy
Speaker 1: a house together. Um. Our finances so far are completely separate,
Speaker 1: and I just feel like that is like a huge,
Speaker 1: major first financial commitment together. And his thinking is kind
Speaker 1: of like, I'm not taking our relationship seriously because I
Speaker 1: have hesitations about that. So I guess I'm just wondering
Speaker 1: if you guys have any advice for like an am
Speaker 1: married couple an unmarried couple trying to buy a house together. Well,
Speaker 1: good thing you should ask. I am a realtor, so
Speaker 1: that actually works out well good. That is a big decision,
Speaker 1: both financially and relationally. Um, do you are their plans
Speaker 1: to be married or you guys still trying to figure
Speaker 1: it out. I mean, I feel like we're in it
Speaker 1: to win it, but we're not engaged. So you know,
Speaker 1: would you if you were engaged, would it make the
Speaker 1: decision ultimately easier to buy a house? I mean a
Speaker 1: little bit, just because there's a commitment there that as
Speaker 1: boyfriend and girlfriend isn't there is that financial big steps
Speaker 1: So yeah, well, if you're in it to win it,
Speaker 1: then I mean maybe it wouldn't be the worst say
Speaker 1: to you to have a conversation with him and say like, hey, baby,
Speaker 1: I'm in this. You know you're in this. We we
Speaker 1: want to start a family or or just buy a house,
Speaker 1: start a future. But it feels weird to combine our
Speaker 1: finances and invest in something that we're paying off for
Speaker 1: the next thirty years when my left finger is still
Speaker 1: very barren. You know. Yeah, do you think that? How
Speaker 1: do you think he would react to something like that?
Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't really know, because to me,
Speaker 1: it's like, if you want to move in together, then
Speaker 1: like what difference does it? Like might as well get married,
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I feel like maybe he's like
Speaker 1: a little bit weird about marriage because of like his
Speaker 1: situation with his parents being divorced and all that stuff.
Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't know, it's kind of a
Speaker 1: sticky situation. I guess that makes sense. So do you
Speaker 1: do you guys not currently live together now? We do
Speaker 1: live together now, but we rent okay? Cool? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it's a big decision and it made Marriage isn't
Speaker 1: for everyone either, but you know, buying a house is
Speaker 1: essentially the same thing. You're locking yourself into something for
Speaker 1: you know, most times thirty years, So you gotta really
Speaker 1: like the person and they got to stick it out
Speaker 1: with you, yea, So maybe a conversation. I don't know,
Speaker 1: that's that's that's a tough one, but that way, at
Speaker 1: least if you can communicate on both sides and no
Speaker 1: one has left feeling resentful or like, you know, out
Speaker 1: to dry right well, And I guess I too, also,
Speaker 1: Like it sounds crazy to say because we're not married,
Speaker 1: but like I want to make sure we're both like
Speaker 1: legally protective, like both of us, so neither one can
Speaker 1: like screw the other one with like up, we're leaving
Speaker 1: you with a thirty your mortgage. You're stuck, so totally totally. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a big it's a big commitment on both sides.
Speaker 1: And if you guys are you know, if you're both
Speaker 1: in it, it's an awesome thing. And if you're not,
Speaker 1: then yeah, somebody could get stuck with a big bill
Speaker 1: for sure. All Right, Well, if we find a place,
Speaker 1: I'll make sure I send you the specs so you
Speaker 1: can give me a real brain on it. Send you
Speaker 1: over to me. I will give you all the info
Speaker 1: I have. Okay, great, all right, and Mary, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. Thanks. Well, that wraps it up. Thanks for
Speaker 1: all your calls today. We're gonna take a quick break
Speaker 1: and we'll be right back. Well, come back from your break.
Speaker 1: I'm your guest host today. Tyler stand Land on how
Speaker 1: men think we are going to get into the Q
Speaker 1: and A. Now, um, how did you and your wife
Speaker 1: Brittany me? We we actually met? What's funny? Are? Essentially
Speaker 1: I slid into her d M with the worst pickup
Speaker 1: line possible. I she was at an event and she
Speaker 1: looked amazing, and I said, behave town. USA population you
Speaker 1: and it took I took a couple of days to respond.
Speaker 1: It was so lame, but she did and I redeemed
Speaker 1: myself with a couple of lines. But um, oddly enough,
Speaker 1: we actually had a few, well a few, A couple
Speaker 1: of our exits dated and so we were like aware
Speaker 1: of each other, and there was this weird that it
Speaker 1: was like the universe was like pushing us together, kind
Speaker 1: of from in a strange way. But yeah, really bad
Speaker 1: pickup line, and somehow she responded, Um, what was your
Speaker 1: first date? Like? With Brittany? My first date was super
Speaker 1: was scary. All for states are scary, um, but even
Speaker 1: more scary because I started off on a weird foot
Speaker 1: with a bad pickup line. And then you know, I
Speaker 1: was so nervous. I barely spoke. And luckily she's very
Speaker 1: outgoing and lovely and kind of carry the whole conversation
Speaker 1: until I could drink enough margaritas to formulate sentences. Um,
Speaker 1: so I was super nervous. Um, when did you know
Speaker 1: she was the one? I knew she was the one
Speaker 1: pretty quickly. She's very She's an incredible human. She's smart
Speaker 1: and funny and down to earth and just the most
Speaker 1: lovely human ever and like nobody I've ever met, so
Speaker 1: it was very quick to know she was the one
Speaker 1: you married in twenty What is one thing you've learned
Speaker 1: in marriage that you feel like might help other couples. UM,
Speaker 1: I think you just have to to laugh. I think
Speaker 1: marriage will teach you to laugh. When we got married,
Speaker 1: it was there was a potential at that point, it
Speaker 1: was a potential pandemic loom ng And we got married
Speaker 1: in l A, which is usually eighty two degrees and
Speaker 1: Sonny and for some reason that day it was a
Speaker 1: high of fifty and it was raining and it was cold,
Speaker 1: and kind of everything that could have gone wrong did
Speaker 1: go wrong, and we just kind of had to laugh.
Speaker 1: And so it was just a good lesson. Right after that,
Speaker 1: you know, we canceled our honeymoon. It was just one
Speaker 1: of those funny things. And I think that's something that
Speaker 1: marriage teaches you, is you just have to find somebody
Speaker 1: that you want to make it through those times with. UM.
Speaker 1: How are you approached to do the show? I was approached, well,
Speaker 1: I was approached from producers UM initially, and then I
Speaker 1: was kind of talking with Jason about coming to the Brokery.
Speaker 1: So it was kind of a combination between going to
Speaker 1: the up and hand group and then also a production
Speaker 1: knowing that they were trying to cast this show. Um,
Speaker 1: and they both just kind of aligned at the same time,
Speaker 1: which was which was a good time. Um. How has
Speaker 1: the intention shifted towards you since the show aired? Um,
Speaker 1: that's tough. I mean the show has only been out
Speaker 1: for a little bit now, and UM, I think we're
Speaker 1: all just kind of riding this way and all doing
Speaker 1: interviews for the first time in podcasts and things like that.
Speaker 1: So it is it's a strange change, and we're all
Speaker 1: dealing with trolls on the internet and keyboard warriors and
Speaker 1: and things that you know, we didn't ever face previously. Um,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if things feel different ultimately, I'm
Speaker 1: still you know, selling real estate and being able to
Speaker 1: go surf and see my friends and so nothing has
Speaker 1: really changed yet, which feels nice. Um. Where does your
Speaker 1: friendship with Kayless stand now? Kayla and I are totally
Speaker 1: fine right off the bat, right away, we swashed it.
Speaker 1: And I think in the show spoiler alert you'll kind
Speaker 1: of see my frustration that it almost feels like the
Speaker 1: Kalis situation is being used as a weapon to kind
Speaker 1: of solid drama or create drama amongst clicks. UM and
Speaker 1: so Kayle and are fine. We've been fine, we communicated.
Speaker 1: Our friendship has a a big, you know wall but
Speaker 1: between it now, but we're good. I don't know that
Speaker 1: it will ever be what it once was, and that's okay.
Speaker 1: But that's where we stand and it's healthy and good.
Speaker 1: UM onto some dating relationship questions. Why is it hard
Speaker 1: for men to express their feelings? I think it's a
Speaker 1: good question. I think I think it's hard for men
Speaker 1: to express their feelings because we always want to be
Speaker 1: tough and we're taught to, you know, suck it up
Speaker 1: and not be a worse um whatever whatever we're taught. Younger,
Speaker 1: I think I think we're starting to see though, a
Speaker 1: lot of change around mental health, and specifically with men
Speaker 1: and their mental health, which is awesome and something that
Speaker 1: has been needed for a long time. That it's okay
Speaker 1: to share your your feelings. UM. But you know, in
Speaker 1: some cases, maybe people are just quiet, like I just
Speaker 1: I'm just quiet, and I'm I'm not quick to speak.
Speaker 1: I'll have to sit with something and think about it,
Speaker 1: and sometimes you gonna write it down before I can
Speaker 1: express it the way that I want to. So that's
Speaker 1: that's the other thing too. Sometimes people just express feelings differently,
Speaker 1: and it's important in dating to find somebody that communicates
Speaker 1: similarly to you, or somebody will be left feeling resentful. Um.
Speaker 1: Do men like when women play hard to get? Some men? Yes.
Speaker 1: Some men love the chase and they always want it,
Speaker 1: and the minute they don't have it, it's like this
Speaker 1: instinctual thing where they need something else to go to
Speaker 1: chase others it will drive him crazy. Personally, I don't
Speaker 1: like the chase. I hate the chase. I think it's stupid.
Speaker 1: I don't want to play games. If you like me
Speaker 1: and I like you, why are we running? Let's just
Speaker 1: you know, hang out. So but some men do. Some
Speaker 1: men love it. I think it's an instinctual thing. I
Speaker 1: think it's like it goes back to the hunter, like
Speaker 1: the hunter gatherer instinct or something. Um. What is the
Speaker 1: proper amount of time to wait to go on a
Speaker 1: date with somebody that used to date a friend? That's tricky? Um?
Speaker 1: I would say never, Well, it depends on the friend.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I dated a friends ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: and it was just the worst it was for no reason,
Speaker 1: and he was a good buddy of mine, and I
Speaker 1: didn't know how long, how much time had passed, or
Speaker 1: how close they really were when they dated. We were
Speaker 1: close growing up and then kind of went our own ways,
Speaker 1: and then I started dating with this girl, and then
Speaker 1: once I was dating or the damage was done and
Speaker 1: luckily now we're great friends. And I apologized, but kind
Speaker 1: of one of those things where you don't really double
Speaker 1: dip if you love your friend enough, m or it's
Speaker 1: worth having a conversation with. My opinion is there is
Speaker 1: never enough time. It's a no go, red flag, don't
Speaker 1: do it. Why do men seem to want what they
Speaker 1: can't have? I think he goes back to the chase.
Speaker 1: I think men like to accomplish things, and I mean
Speaker 1: Pete like to accomplishing. But I think it's in a
Speaker 1: man's DNA to want to accomplish and create and be
Speaker 1: the alpha. And when they don't have something and they're
Speaker 1: able to find a way to get it, it like
Speaker 1: takes this instinctual thing, this instinctual box um. But that's
Speaker 1: another thing that's that goes back to the chase. And
Speaker 1: I don't I don't have that any luckily. Um, does
Speaker 1: a man having a status career play a role in
Speaker 1: when they might want to settle down or does it
Speaker 1: depend on the right partner. That's a tough question. I
Speaker 1: think it. I think it depends on the right partner.
Speaker 1: And sometimes the right partner is willing to stick it
Speaker 1: out with you while you guys are you know, still
Speaker 1: growing in your careers. But there are certain industries in
Speaker 1: which you know, men and women have to put their
Speaker 1: their head down and really focus. Um. You know, let's
Speaker 1: say you work on Wall Street or you're an attorney. Um,
Speaker 1: there's so much you're you live in an office, and
Speaker 1: there's so much that you have to do and accomplished
Speaker 1: before you have the flexibility and freedom. But when you
Speaker 1: meet to the right person and you know it, it's
Speaker 1: pretty hard to put anything else in front of them,
Speaker 1: especially if you're both choosing each other and making each
Speaker 1: other a priority. Then you know what kind of shifts.
Speaker 1: But I will say, you always want to choose somebody
Speaker 1: that choose your back. Somebody hasn't chosen you and you
Speaker 1: are chasing them. It's not a great feeling. So choose
Speaker 1: somebody that chooses you. Well, that is the end of
Speaker 1: the Q and a thank you so much for calling
Speaker 1: in today. I again am your guest host, Tyler stand
Speaker 1: A Land on How Men Think. Um. Please check out
Speaker 1: Selling BOSC on Netflix and if you want to see
Speaker 1: more on the scenes or more about me, you can
Speaker 1: find me on Instagram at Tyler stand A Land. I
Speaker 1: hope I was able to give some sort of helpful
Speaker 1: info and I hope you have a great rest of
Speaker 1: your day. This is How Men Think and I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio London Audio Production. Listen each Thursday on the I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio app, Apple Poe Podcasts or wherever you get
Speaker 1: your podcasts.