1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,960 Speaker 1: We're taking you inside the mind of a man. This 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 1: is how Men Thick and I heard radio podcast. Everyone. 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: I'm Tyler Standlon and you may know me from the 4 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,200 Speaker 1: new Netflix series Selling DC. I'm so happy to be 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: here guest hosting How Men Think, and I'm going to 6 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:19,280 Speaker 1: answer all your questions and try and help you understand 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,120 Speaker 1: how Men Think. But first, this is eleven Questions with Tyler. 8 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: Let's get into it. What are you known for? Tell 9 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: us about yourself. UM, I'm probably best known for surfing 10 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: and selling houses. I'm fourth generation surfer and fifth generation 11 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: real estate. So whether I wanted to or not, those 12 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,560 Speaker 1: are probably gonna be fields that I had some sort 13 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: of involvement in. UM, and luckily I love both of them. 14 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,760 Speaker 1: Who are you in personal life? Who are you in 15 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 1: your personal life? UM? Who am I in my personal life? 16 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,639 Speaker 1: It's a tough question. I would say. In my personal life, 17 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: I'm probably I like an introverted extrovert. I love to 18 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:07,120 Speaker 1: be social, but I also like to come home and 19 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:11,280 Speaker 1: be with myself. UM. I spent a lot of time 20 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 1: at the beach. UM. That's kind of like my my church. 21 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,960 Speaker 1: I guess I need the ocean or I become a 22 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: grumpy Human. Three shows you are binge watching well number 23 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 1: one selling the d O C. I binged it. You 24 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:29,840 Speaker 1: should binge it. That's great. I also just binged alone, 25 00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: which is so fascinating that people are able to survive 26 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: in the wilderness for months at a time with no 27 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 1: help or intervention unless they have some sort of medical emergency. 28 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 1: That was mind blowing. And I got sucked in um. 29 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 1: And then lastly, let's see, I actually just saw that 30 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: Ozarks had new episodes, and I just started diving out. 31 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: I watched the first two seasons, and then I somehow 32 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: just forgot about it and started watching last night, and 33 00:01:56,840 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: I'm already hooked on the latest seasons. Let's see, what 34 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 1: is my favorite food? My favorite foods probably I don't know. 35 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: I'm still like a five year old. So my favorite 36 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: food is probably French fries. If I'm in a restaurant, 37 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: I'll order French fries no matter what, Like with a 38 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 1: salade with a burger, I get an actually side of fries. 39 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 1: I just I feel like you can't eat at a 40 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: restaurant without ordering fries. Tell us about my career. So 41 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 1: my career is I am a surferd I'm also in 42 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 1: real estate. My main focus now is in real estate UM, 43 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: and I've been in the business for a long time. 44 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,400 Speaker 1: I had license when I was I've got licensed twelve 45 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:38,360 Speaker 1: or thirteen years ago now. And UM it's kind of 46 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: the family trade. So when I was in high school, 47 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: my family had a brokerage. I was working in the office. 48 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:45,080 Speaker 1: Kind of is just like a water boy, but I 49 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: was just exposed to a lot, which really benefited my 50 00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: career long term. And then I worked with the family 51 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,000 Speaker 1: UM for a number of years and now I'm at 52 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:56,880 Speaker 1: the appan end group. What is your biggest fear in life? Oh, 53 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: maybe sharks, and they spent a lot of time in 54 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,200 Speaker 1: the ocean, and I still have a pretty healthy fear 55 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: of sharks. Um. I love them as animals, but I'm 56 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: still terrified of them. What's your biggest pet peeve? My 57 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 1: biggest pet peeve is loud chewers. I don't know why 58 00:03:14,840 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 1: we can't just chew with our mouth closes. We're taught 59 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: at a very young age to keep our mouth closed. 60 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: But people that are chewing at them out that win 61 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 1: and talking and you're seeing the food and food is flying. 62 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:27,120 Speaker 1: It's a It's an ick for me. It's a major hick. Um. 63 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: What makes me most happy the beach and the ocean. 64 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 1: It's something that was fortunate. I was fortunate enough to 65 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: grow up in Laguna Beach and the beach was kind 66 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: of like our playground, and so every day after school 67 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 1: we were surfing and skin boarding and fishing. And UM, 68 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 1: it is a place that I need and a place 69 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: that makes me a better me and something that was 70 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: a huge part of my life. UM, and that I 71 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: hope I never have to live without. UM. What is 72 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: your ideal Saturday morning? When ideal Saturday morning with me 73 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 1: to wake up and go surfing, come home, have coffee, breakfast, 74 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: maybe go for a workout, go for a run or something. UM, 75 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 1: not much of like a like a weightlifter or like 76 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: June kind of guy, but physical activity of some sort, 77 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,280 Speaker 1: and then maybe back to the beach if it's a 78 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: nice day. Um. As you can see, I'm very boring 79 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: and just like to spend my time at the beach. 80 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 1: Are you more of an athlete or an armchair quarterback? 81 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: I would say athlete probably. I want to be like 82 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: in there with the action doing it. But I will 83 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: say I'm not a quarterback. Um. You'll see in selling BOC. 84 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's in there or not, but 85 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,239 Speaker 1: I try to throw a football and I've never really 86 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 1: thrown a football, and it was about as bad as 87 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 1: it gets. It looked like I threw it with my 88 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 1: with my left arm or something. It was crazy. So 89 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 1: luckily if it's if it's football, I might be an 90 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:55,159 Speaker 1: armchair quarterback. Um. What keeps me motivated? Um? A lot 91 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 1: of things keep me motivated. I I'm motivated by you. 92 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 1: My dad is a very successful reader in Orange County, 93 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: so I've got some big shoes to feel. That motivates me. Um. 94 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:10,040 Speaker 1: But personally, I'm just usual. I'm a driven person. I'm 95 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: very goal oriented and I set high standards, so I'm 96 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: constantly trying to be more than what I've already accomplished. 97 00:05:19,839 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: And I'm not easily satisfied with myself in a healthy way, 98 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:29,000 Speaker 1: so I would say myself. Yeah, So that was eleven 99 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: questions with me. We're gonna take a quick break and 100 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:42,360 Speaker 1: we'll be back with some line of colors. Hey, everyone, 101 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,320 Speaker 1: welcome back to Premier Break. I'm Tyler stand Land from 102 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 1: Selling the OC. Your your guest host today of How 103 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:53,000 Speaker 1: Men Think? And um, let's jump into some lot of colors. Hi, Brenda, 104 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,000 Speaker 1: how are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good, 105 00:05:56,200 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: I'm good. What's going on? Uh? Well, I'm feeling discouraged, 106 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 1: just like in general about all dating at all. Um. 107 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:10,599 Speaker 1: I tried this dating you know, the dating app you 108 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: go on in and you delete in whatever, the whole cycle, 109 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: and my it's just not working. My friend put me 110 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 1: on a double date and it went really well, but 111 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: then like two days later he was like, I'm not 112 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,479 Speaker 1: feeling it, and I don't. I like that, Like, I'm 113 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: glad that he told me so fast, but also like, 114 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: how do you know if you don't like me with one? 115 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: I just think this happens a lot. We're we all 116 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: have these high expectations and so we're saying no so fast, 117 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,760 Speaker 1: and what if we miss something? How do I deal 118 00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 1: with that? I could not agree more. I think it's 119 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: funny too, because I think now with dating apps and 120 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 1: social media, there's almost like it's almost like you're a 121 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:55,880 Speaker 1: kid in the camps. Whether there's so many options that 122 00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,960 Speaker 1: even though you really like twigs, you're still looking at 123 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: like the kit kats and the butterfingers, and it's all 124 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 1: to the options that it's confusing. So it is tough. 125 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: I mean, have you reached out to see if maybe 126 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: there was a spark for a second chance or something? Uh? 127 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: And I mean no, I feel like I wouldn't be 128 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: able to do that. That would be really embarrassing because 129 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 1: I got rejected. It's I'm rejected. He doesn't want me, 130 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,360 Speaker 1: and now what do? What else am I supposed to do? 131 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: I get that, I get that sometimes sometimes those guys 132 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 1: are I mean, I don't know this. I know with 133 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: with me personally, sometimes guys are shy and and it's 134 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,440 Speaker 1: attractive when a girl takes a shot. But I don't know, 135 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: at least at the very least, maybe better to find 136 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:41,400 Speaker 1: out now than later. And at some point you'll meet 137 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,880 Speaker 1: somebody in the grocery store or or on a dating 138 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: app that you know, we'll want a second date and 139 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: the third date. So what you're saying is I have 140 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 1: no control or the situation. You just have to let 141 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: go kind of and when you know, you know, and 142 00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:02,440 Speaker 1: when they know, they'll know. And unfortunately it's just dating 143 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: is tough. It's a it's a wild ride. But you 144 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: will find that person, and that person will find you, 145 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: and it will make all these experiences worth it, all right, 146 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:15,320 Speaker 1: I'll hold you to that. Okay, perfect? Hey Zoe, how 147 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 1: are you? I'm good? How are you? I'm good? I'm good. 148 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 1: What's going on? Well, I just got into a new 149 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 1: relationship with someone I knew from college. I mean, we're 150 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: currently living in different states, so you know we're doing 151 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 1: this long distance. Um. He's not a big social media 152 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,880 Speaker 1: guy yet. The last three out of his five posts 153 00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: on Instagram are of his ex girlfriend. His ex girlfriend, Yeah, 154 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 1: they're a mixture. I mean I didn't look like they 155 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: were from a long time ago, but you know they 156 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 1: weren't this week, so you know. I asked him to 157 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: take them down, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't 158 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,839 Speaker 1: want to make her feel bad. So then I said, hey, 159 00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,200 Speaker 1: why don't you post some of me instead? And he 160 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: suppose he doesn't like to post on his Instagram, Like, um, 161 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: I add a line here to be upset about this, Like, 162 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 1: how do I get him to take these photos down? Yeah? See, 163 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: social media is a tricky thing, and it's something that 164 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:20,439 Speaker 1: you know, previous generations didn't have to deal with, but 165 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:25,240 Speaker 1: it is a factor in dating. Are they are they 166 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: close friends still? Because because because I've dated people that 167 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: you know, they end up their exes end up being 168 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: best friends and they're really close and it can feel 169 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: awkward at times, but truly it is just a friendship. 170 00:09:38,720 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: Is it that sort of a same situation or is 171 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,200 Speaker 1: it unclear? Yeah? Yeah, I think it's probably that, but 172 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: I don't really believe in that being a good thing, 173 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, yeah, I mean yeah, it works for 174 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: some it doesn't for others. I mean, if he is, 175 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: it's something that you just got to communicate and tell 176 00:09:56,840 --> 00:10:00,439 Speaker 1: him why. And if he's not receptive to it, then 177 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,680 Speaker 1: maybe that's something that leads to a further conversation of 178 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,680 Speaker 1: you know, what makes sense for you both long term, 179 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:11,320 Speaker 1: because ultimately, you want somebody that chooses you, and you know, 180 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,280 Speaker 1: you don't want something to cut their their friends out. 181 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: But also if you're gonna invest your time with somebody, 182 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,120 Speaker 1: you want them to, you know, reciprocate in ways that 183 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:23,640 Speaker 1: make you feel safe. Yeah that's great, Thank you? Yeah? 184 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: How the else? Thanks? It? Does I have to talk 185 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:33,680 Speaker 1: to them all? Right? Well? Thank you? Zoe? Thanks by right, Hi, Testa, 186 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 1: this is Tyler. How are you okay? What's going on? 187 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: Let's hear it? Okay? Um? This is hard? Uh, So 188 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: my girlfriends and I were out the other night and 189 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,880 Speaker 1: we ran it was like a girl's night out, you know, 190 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:56,120 Speaker 1: we do this every few months, and we ran into, um, 191 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: we ran into some of my husband's buddies weirdly enough. UM. 192 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: And then we just sort of joined us and kind 193 00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,079 Speaker 1: of tagged along with us for the rest of the night, 194 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: which was kind of fun. It wasn't expected. It was stung. 195 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: We're all having a good time. Um. And then later, uh, 196 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: we were all dancing on dance floor and just out 197 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:20,160 Speaker 1: of nowhere, one of his friends kissed me. And but 198 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 1: that's honestly, that's not even the worst part. The worst 199 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,960 Speaker 1: part is that I kissed him back, and um, for 200 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 1: what is worth, I was. I was a little buzzed. 201 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: I mean, I know that's not an excuse, but I 202 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 1: just wanted to add that. And I feel like garbage. 203 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 1: I feel like absolute garbage. Um. But so later that night, UM, 204 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: he texted me just you know, begging me not to 205 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: tell my husband, obviously because they're really good friends and 206 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,719 Speaker 1: and I don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't 207 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 1: know what to do. I don't like keeping things from 208 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:54,560 Speaker 1: my husband. We don't have that kind of relationship, you know. 209 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: But at the same time, I'm I'm terrified to telling him. 210 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: I mean this, I don't want to lose him. I 211 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 1: don't want to get a divorce. I don't know what 212 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: to do. I also don't want to hurt him, you know. 213 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: So it's like, maybe it's better if I don't tell 214 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 1: him because it didn't mean anything. You know, it was 215 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: just a stupid mistake and it's never gonna happen again. 216 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: And I don't even know it's if it's just one 217 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,080 Speaker 1: of those things I can just bury and never you know, 218 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 1: pretend it never happened. But I'm also scared because it 219 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: was his buddy. I don't know. I don't know what 220 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,320 Speaker 1: to do. I totally get that. I totally get that. 221 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: I think it is sticky because even though it didn't 222 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 1: mean anything, it still happened, and it affects your relationship. 223 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,679 Speaker 1: I think, you know, I don't know your relationship and 224 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 1: the dynamic between you and your husband. So I'll just 225 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 1: speak for myself. I think if I was your husband, 226 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: I would rather know than not know. And then if 227 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 1: I found out, you know, years down the road, it 228 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 1: may feel like a bigger deal. Then if it was 229 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 1: like a Hey, things got out of control, made a mistake. 230 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 1: I am so sorry. Never gonna happen again. You know, 231 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:04,439 Speaker 1: I think I think that typically honesty with me is 232 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: always still best policy, and it tends to hurt less. 233 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 1: It might see a bit at first, but at least 234 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,800 Speaker 1: at least you can sleep at night knowing that you know, 235 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,480 Speaker 1: I was told sort of a thing. Um. But but 236 00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 1: it is tough. It's tough, I think, yeah, I think, yeah, 237 00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:23,719 Speaker 1: it's one of those things I wish that there was 238 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 1: I wish it was something that I could give you 239 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 1: a yes or no, this is the right or wrong thing. 240 00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 1: But it's it's a situational thing. But if it was me, 241 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:35,000 Speaker 1: I would like to know. I think it's it's extra 242 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,800 Speaker 1: complicated because it is his friend and it was so stupid, 243 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: and it mean what you're saying, it's actually my gut instinct. 244 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I want to tell him, but I'm just 245 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: so terrified of seeing his face. And I'm also terrified 246 00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 1: of him changing how he feels. This is changing how 247 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 1: he feels about me. And but you know, if this 248 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:55,840 Speaker 1: was a stranger, I feel like, well I could probably 249 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 1: keep this, you know, bury it, and keep this my secret. 250 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: The rest of my life. But even though his friend 251 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: is begging me right now not to tell him, what 252 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 1: if one day he does decided to tell him. I 253 00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: don't know, I mean, but I also don't want to 254 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:16,480 Speaker 1: ruin their friendship, and it's God, what have I done? Yeah, 255 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: I hear you. So I had a similar experience in 256 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,720 Speaker 1: the workplace where somebody tried to kiss me. But I 257 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: think the biggest difference there was just even though nothing happened, 258 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: I still felt the need to communicate it to my partner, 259 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 1: and it made a big difference in our relationship just 260 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: knowing what happened. I think having it not knowing can 261 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: sometimes create a bigger issue. If that. Do you think 262 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: that you think I'm gonna Do you think my marriage 263 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: is in jeopardy over this? Do you think that's the 264 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,160 Speaker 1: thing I'm scared of the most? Yeah, I mean, I 265 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 1: don't know the dynamic of your marriage. I I think 266 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: I would have an easier time if my partner came 267 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: to me and said I made a mistake. I kissed 268 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 1: somebody meant nothing. It was like one second we were 269 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:07,000 Speaker 1: dancing and things were crazy. But I don't know, you know, 270 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 1: I don't know how he would react. I don't know 271 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 1: the long term history there, but um, in my opinion, 272 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: honesty is always the best policy. Yeah, it's time, but 273 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 1: that's just that's that's what I would do. You're you're 274 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 1: pretty much, You're pretty much. Yeah, it's it's pretty much 275 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: how I feel. You're you're sort of validating. But thank you, 276 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 1: of course, of course I hope that helps and hopefully 277 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: everything works out. Oh yeah, thanks, all right, Tessa, It's 278 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 1: Tyler Standel And how are you good? Are you good? 279 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: I'm good? What's going on? How how can we help today? 280 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: So I am thirty two and I'm single, and I'm 281 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: just in a place where all my friends are married, 282 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 1: they're starting to have kids, and I just find myself 283 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 1: getting invited to more bridle and baby showers that actually 284 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: out to like dinner and drinks. You know. I've been 285 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,720 Speaker 1: trying the apps, but I just have not had a 286 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: lot of success on them. And I try to go out, 287 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: but I just don't have very many friends willing to 288 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 1: just go out and grab a drink with me anymore. 289 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 1: I'm just wondering, like if you can help me, Like, 290 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 1: what are some other ways I can try and meet 291 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 1: men beside the apps? And bars. That is a good 292 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 1: question because so I'm thirty three, I'm married, and I 293 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,600 Speaker 1: would say my friends are fift split between being married 294 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 1: and having like a whole herd of children and still 295 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:35,680 Speaker 1: out at the bars. So um, it's tough. Do you like, 296 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: what are what sort of hobbies do you enjoy doing? Well, 297 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,280 Speaker 1: I'm really into fitness, you know. I like to meet 298 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: the gym, I like to hike. Um, but it's really 299 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 1: hard because when you go to the gym, everyone's kind 300 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: of in their zone and no one really wants to 301 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,720 Speaker 1: approach you, especially you know, out here. So it's just 302 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:55,960 Speaker 1: challenging to to meet someone. Yeah. Yeah, I would say 303 00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: maybe in the gym. I mean, guys, guys are shot, 304 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 1: guys are we're like, we're the worst if we were. 305 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,600 Speaker 1: Most of us have another game, myself included, like zero game. 306 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,080 Speaker 1: So sometimes if you see a guy that you have 307 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: your your eye on, maybe you make the first move, 308 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:17,040 Speaker 1: which isn't you know, the norm or what we're used to, 309 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:20,200 Speaker 1: But sometimes that's what it's going to take to make somebody, 310 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:24,679 Speaker 1: you know, come talk to you. Yeah. No, that's a 311 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: great idea. I just have to work up the nerve 312 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,960 Speaker 1: to do it. It's not the easiest thing. Yeah, I 313 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 1: believe being being married. I do not miss that. So 314 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 1: it's never good at it and I just yeah, but 315 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,720 Speaker 1: sometimes that is what it takes. And maybe in the 316 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: gym or you know, maybe hiking, maybe as you're passing 317 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,600 Speaker 1: by somebody, some stubble walk by and you'll ask them 318 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:45,720 Speaker 1: what time it is or something. I don't know. Don't 319 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 1: just don't be afraid to make the first move. I think, 320 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: thank you, I'll try, I'll try. It sounds good, thank you, 321 00:17:55,400 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: thank you. Hi, Hi Mary, how are you good? Thanks 322 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: for Colin? Sure? What's um? What's going on? Okay, So 323 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 1: here's the deal. Um, my boyfriend and I we've been 324 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:16,360 Speaker 1: together for three years and he wants us to buy 325 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 1: a house together. Um. Our finances so far are completely separate, 326 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:26,480 Speaker 1: and I just feel like that is like a huge, 327 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 1: major first financial commitment together. And his thinking is kind 328 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 1: of like, I'm not taking our relationship seriously because I 329 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 1: have hesitations about that. So I guess I'm just wondering 330 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,400 Speaker 1: if you guys have any advice for like an am 331 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:46,600 Speaker 1: married couple an unmarried couple trying to buy a house together. Well, 332 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,560 Speaker 1: good thing you should ask. I am a realtor, so 333 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:54,440 Speaker 1: that actually works out well good. That is a big decision, 334 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 1: both financially and relationally. Um, do you are their plans 335 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,720 Speaker 1: to be married or you guys still trying to figure 336 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,760 Speaker 1: it out. I mean, I feel like we're in it 337 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: to win it, but we're not engaged. So you know, 338 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: would you if you were engaged, would it make the 339 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,600 Speaker 1: decision ultimately easier to buy a house? I mean a 340 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:19,280 Speaker 1: little bit, just because there's a commitment there that as 341 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:25,119 Speaker 1: boyfriend and girlfriend isn't there is that financial big steps 342 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: So yeah, well, if you're in it to win it, 343 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: then I mean maybe it wouldn't be the worst say 344 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 1: to you to have a conversation with him and say like, hey, baby, 345 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 1: I'm in this. You know you're in this. We we 346 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 1: want to start a family or or just buy a house, 347 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:44,640 Speaker 1: start a future. But it feels weird to combine our 348 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: finances and invest in something that we're paying off for 349 00:19:47,359 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 1: the next thirty years when my left finger is still 350 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:54,760 Speaker 1: very barren. You know. Yeah, do you think that? How 351 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 1: do you think he would react to something like that? 352 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't really know, because to me, 353 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 1: it's like, if you want to move in together, then 354 00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,520 Speaker 1: like what difference does it? Like might as well get married, 355 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,000 Speaker 1: But I don't know. I feel like maybe he's like 356 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 1: a little bit weird about marriage because of like his 357 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 1: situation with his parents being divorced and all that stuff. 358 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,160 Speaker 1: I mean, I I don't know, it's kind of a 359 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,160 Speaker 1: sticky situation. I guess that makes sense. So do you 360 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:24,840 Speaker 1: do you guys not currently live together now? We do 361 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:29,280 Speaker 1: live together now, but we rent okay? Cool? Yeah, I 362 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,200 Speaker 1: mean it's a big decision and it made Marriage isn't 363 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 1: for everyone either, but you know, buying a house is 364 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,960 Speaker 1: essentially the same thing. You're locking yourself into something for 365 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,640 Speaker 1: you know, most times thirty years, So you gotta really 366 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,720 Speaker 1: like the person and they got to stick it out 367 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:50,560 Speaker 1: with you, yea, So maybe a conversation. I don't know, 368 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,679 Speaker 1: that's that's that's a tough one, but that way, at 369 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 1: least if you can communicate on both sides and no 370 00:20:56,040 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: one has left feeling resentful or like, you know, out 371 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,399 Speaker 1: to dry right well, And I guess I too, also, 372 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: Like it sounds crazy to say because we're not married, 373 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 1: but like I want to make sure we're both like 374 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 1: legally protective, like both of us, so neither one can 375 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,520 Speaker 1: like screw the other one with like up, we're leaving 376 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 1: you with a thirty your mortgage. You're stuck, so totally totally. Yeah, 377 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,959 Speaker 1: it's a big it's a big commitment on both sides. 378 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 1: And if you guys are you know, if you're both 379 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,639 Speaker 1: in it, it's an awesome thing. And if you're not, 380 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,359 Speaker 1: then yeah, somebody could get stuck with a big bill 381 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,480 Speaker 1: for sure. All Right, Well, if we find a place, 382 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 1: I'll make sure I send you the specs so you 383 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,080 Speaker 1: can give me a real brain on it. Send you 384 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 1: over to me. I will give you all the info 385 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,600 Speaker 1: I have. Okay, great, all right, and Mary, thank you 386 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 1: so much. Thanks. Well, that wraps it up. Thanks for 387 00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:49,480 Speaker 1: all your calls today. We're gonna take a quick break 388 00:21:49,520 --> 00:22:00,920 Speaker 1: and we'll be right back. Well, come back from your break. 389 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,360 Speaker 1: I'm your guest host today. Tyler stand Land on how 390 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: men think we are going to get into the Q 391 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,040 Speaker 1: and A. Now, um, how did you and your wife 392 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:16,000 Speaker 1: Brittany me? We we actually met? What's funny? Are? Essentially 393 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,719 Speaker 1: I slid into her d M with the worst pickup 394 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 1: line possible. I she was at an event and she 395 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: looked amazing, and I said, behave town. USA population you 396 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: and it took I took a couple of days to respond. 397 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,000 Speaker 1: It was so lame, but she did and I redeemed 398 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:36,000 Speaker 1: myself with a couple of lines. But um, oddly enough, 399 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,840 Speaker 1: we actually had a few, well a few, A couple 400 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,160 Speaker 1: of our exits dated and so we were like aware 401 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: of each other, and there was this weird that it 402 00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:46,400 Speaker 1: was like the universe was like pushing us together, kind 403 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: of from in a strange way. But yeah, really bad 404 00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: pickup line, and somehow she responded, Um, what was your 405 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:59,960 Speaker 1: first date? Like? With Brittany? My first date was super 406 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 1: was scary. All for states are scary, um, but even 407 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:05,960 Speaker 1: more scary because I started off on a weird foot 408 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 1: with a bad pickup line. And then you know, I 409 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,800 Speaker 1: was so nervous. I barely spoke. And luckily she's very 410 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: outgoing and lovely and kind of carry the whole conversation 411 00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: until I could drink enough margaritas to formulate sentences. Um, 412 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:24,159 Speaker 1: so I was super nervous. Um, when did you know 413 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,719 Speaker 1: she was the one? I knew she was the one 414 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: pretty quickly. She's very She's an incredible human. She's smart 415 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: and funny and down to earth and just the most 416 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:38,159 Speaker 1: lovely human ever and like nobody I've ever met, so 417 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: it was very quick to know she was the one 418 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: you married in twenty What is one thing you've learned 419 00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:50,479 Speaker 1: in marriage that you feel like might help other couples. UM, 420 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,920 Speaker 1: I think you just have to to laugh. I think 421 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: marriage will teach you to laugh. When we got married, 422 00:23:55,359 --> 00:23:58,159 Speaker 1: it was there was a potential at that point, it 423 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 1: was a potential pandemic loom ng And we got married 424 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,920 Speaker 1: in l A, which is usually eighty two degrees and 425 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: Sonny and for some reason that day it was a 426 00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,639 Speaker 1: high of fifty and it was raining and it was cold, 427 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,160 Speaker 1: and kind of everything that could have gone wrong did 428 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,000 Speaker 1: go wrong, and we just kind of had to laugh. 429 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: And so it was just a good lesson. Right after that, 430 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,360 Speaker 1: you know, we canceled our honeymoon. It was just one 431 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,679 Speaker 1: of those funny things. And I think that's something that 432 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,639 Speaker 1: marriage teaches you, is you just have to find somebody 433 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:29,160 Speaker 1: that you want to make it through those times with. UM. 434 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 1: How are you approached to do the show? I was approached, well, 435 00:24:35,480 --> 00:24:39,719 Speaker 1: I was approached from producers UM initially, and then I 436 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: was kind of talking with Jason about coming to the Brokery. 437 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,040 Speaker 1: So it was kind of a combination between going to 438 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:47,120 Speaker 1: the up and hand group and then also a production 439 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,800 Speaker 1: knowing that they were trying to cast this show. Um, 440 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:53,400 Speaker 1: and they both just kind of aligned at the same time, 441 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,800 Speaker 1: which was which was a good time. Um. How has 442 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,600 Speaker 1: the intention shifted towards you since the show aired? Um, 443 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 1: that's tough. I mean the show has only been out 444 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:08,520 Speaker 1: for a little bit now, and UM, I think we're 445 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,720 Speaker 1: all just kind of riding this way and all doing 446 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,479 Speaker 1: interviews for the first time in podcasts and things like that. 447 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: So it is it's a strange change, and we're all 448 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: dealing with trolls on the internet and keyboard warriors and 449 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:26,520 Speaker 1: and things that you know, we didn't ever face previously. Um, 450 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 1: but I don't know if things feel different ultimately, I'm 451 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:34,760 Speaker 1: still you know, selling real estate and being able to 452 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: go surf and see my friends and so nothing has 453 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:42,000 Speaker 1: really changed yet, which feels nice. Um. Where does your 454 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,440 Speaker 1: friendship with Kayless stand now? Kayla and I are totally 455 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,119 Speaker 1: fine right off the bat, right away, we swashed it. 456 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:51,680 Speaker 1: And I think in the show spoiler alert you'll kind 457 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: of see my frustration that it almost feels like the 458 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:59,200 Speaker 1: Kalis situation is being used as a weapon to kind 459 00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:05,720 Speaker 1: of solid drama or create drama amongst clicks. UM and 460 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 1: so Kayle and are fine. We've been fine, we communicated. 461 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:13,040 Speaker 1: Our friendship has a a big, you know wall but 462 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,560 Speaker 1: between it now, but we're good. I don't know that 463 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: it will ever be what it once was, and that's okay. 464 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,400 Speaker 1: But that's where we stand and it's healthy and good. 465 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: UM onto some dating relationship questions. Why is it hard 466 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:31,679 Speaker 1: for men to express their feelings? I think it's a 467 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,680 Speaker 1: good question. I think I think it's hard for men 468 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: to express their feelings because we always want to be 469 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,439 Speaker 1: tough and we're taught to, you know, suck it up 470 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:43,520 Speaker 1: and not be a worse um whatever whatever we're taught. Younger, 471 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,520 Speaker 1: I think I think we're starting to see though, a 472 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 1: lot of change around mental health, and specifically with men 473 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,479 Speaker 1: and their mental health, which is awesome and something that 474 00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,920 Speaker 1: has been needed for a long time. That it's okay 475 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,399 Speaker 1: to share your your feelings. UM. But you know, in 476 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,359 Speaker 1: some cases, maybe people are just quiet, like I just 477 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:07,359 Speaker 1: I'm just quiet, and I'm I'm not quick to speak. 478 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,080 Speaker 1: I'll have to sit with something and think about it, 479 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:10,920 Speaker 1: and sometimes you gonna write it down before I can 480 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,719 Speaker 1: express it the way that I want to. So that's 481 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: that's the other thing too. Sometimes people just express feelings differently, 482 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 1: and it's important in dating to find somebody that communicates 483 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 1: similarly to you, or somebody will be left feeling resentful. Um. 484 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: Do men like when women play hard to get? Some men? Yes. 485 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 1: Some men love the chase and they always want it, 486 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: and the minute they don't have it, it's like this 487 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: instinctual thing where they need something else to go to 488 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:41,120 Speaker 1: chase others it will drive him crazy. Personally, I don't 489 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,479 Speaker 1: like the chase. I hate the chase. I think it's stupid. 490 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:46,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to play games. If you like me 491 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:48,679 Speaker 1: and I like you, why are we running? Let's just 492 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,000 Speaker 1: you know, hang out. So but some men do. Some 493 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 1: men love it. I think it's an instinctual thing. I 494 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 1: think it's like it goes back to the hunter, like 495 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 1: the hunter gatherer instinct or something. Um. What is the 496 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 1: proper amount of time to wait to go on a 497 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 1: date with somebody that used to date a friend? That's tricky? Um? 498 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,160 Speaker 1: I would say never, Well, it depends on the friend. 499 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 1: When I was younger, I dated a friends ex girlfriend 500 00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: and it was just the worst it was for no reason, 501 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:21,920 Speaker 1: and he was a good buddy of mine, and I 502 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 1: didn't know how long, how much time had passed, or 503 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,479 Speaker 1: how close they really were when they dated. We were 504 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:29,800 Speaker 1: close growing up and then kind of went our own ways, 505 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,359 Speaker 1: and then I started dating with this girl, and then 506 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,440 Speaker 1: once I was dating or the damage was done and 507 00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:37,479 Speaker 1: luckily now we're great friends. And I apologized, but kind 508 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: of one of those things where you don't really double 509 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:43,080 Speaker 1: dip if you love your friend enough, m or it's 510 00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 1: worth having a conversation with. My opinion is there is 511 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 1: never enough time. It's a no go, red flag, don't 512 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: do it. Why do men seem to want what they 513 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,440 Speaker 1: can't have? I think he goes back to the chase. 514 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:59,720 Speaker 1: I think men like to accomplish things, and I mean 515 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,680 Speaker 1: Pete like to accomplishing. But I think it's in a 516 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:07,040 Speaker 1: man's DNA to want to accomplish and create and be 517 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: the alpha. And when they don't have something and they're 518 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,680 Speaker 1: able to find a way to get it, it like 519 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:18,280 Speaker 1: takes this instinctual thing, this instinctual box um. But that's 520 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: another thing that's that goes back to the chase. And 521 00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:25,760 Speaker 1: I don't I don't have that any luckily. Um, does 522 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 1: a man having a status career play a role in 523 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: when they might want to settle down or does it 524 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,640 Speaker 1: depend on the right partner. That's a tough question. I 525 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,720 Speaker 1: think it. I think it depends on the right partner. 526 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 1: And sometimes the right partner is willing to stick it 527 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: out with you while you guys are you know, still 528 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 1: growing in your careers. But there are certain industries in 529 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: which you know, men and women have to put their 530 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: their head down and really focus. Um. You know, let's 531 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,280 Speaker 1: say you work on Wall Street or you're an attorney. Um, 532 00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: there's so much you're you live in an office, and 533 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,640 Speaker 1: there's so much that you have to do and accomplished 534 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,840 Speaker 1: before you have the flexibility and freedom. But when you 535 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: meet to the right person and you know it, it's 536 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: pretty hard to put anything else in front of them, 537 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: especially if you're both choosing each other and making each 538 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,800 Speaker 1: other a priority. Then you know what kind of shifts. 539 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:18,280 Speaker 1: But I will say, you always want to choose somebody 540 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 1: that choose your back. Somebody hasn't chosen you and you 541 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:27,160 Speaker 1: are chasing them. It's not a great feeling. So choose 542 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: somebody that chooses you. Well, that is the end of 543 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 1: the Q and a thank you so much for calling 544 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,320 Speaker 1: in today. I again am your guest host, Tyler stand 545 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:40,000 Speaker 1: A Land on How Men Think. Um. Please check out 546 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 1: Selling BOSC on Netflix and if you want to see 547 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:44,200 Speaker 1: more on the scenes or more about me, you can 548 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 1: find me on Instagram at Tyler stand A Land. I 549 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 1: hope I was able to give some sort of helpful 550 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:51,520 Speaker 1: info and I hope you have a great rest of 551 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: your day. This is How Men Think and I Heart 552 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,360 Speaker 1: Radio London Audio Production. Listen each Thursday on the I 553 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:01,600 Speaker 1: Heart Radio app, Apple Poe Podcasts or wherever you get 554 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:02,360 Speaker 1: your podcasts.