Speaker 1: Yeah, what's up everybody? Welcome back to hashtag story Time,
Speaker 1: the podcast where I bring you everyday stories from everyday people,
Speaker 1: brought to you by I Heart Radio and Curativity Productions.
Speaker 1: I'm your host, Will Slight, Rebrand McFadden and all my
Speaker 1: fable babies out there. Welcome back. Did you miss me?
Speaker 1: You didn't, That's too bad, because I missed every single
Speaker 1: one of you, all twelve of you, guys. So much
Speaker 1: has changed, so much has happened since we last spoke.
Speaker 1: I don't even remember where to begin. I mean, Jeff
Speaker 1: Bezos went to space in a dick rocket. You remember that.
Speaker 1: That was like four months ago. People are spending millions
Speaker 1: of dollars on JPEGs of apes. Facebook became meta um
Speaker 1: Pete Davidson became the sexiest man alive somehow, and now
Speaker 1: he's being hunted by his girlfriend's ex husband. We're on
Speaker 1: the brink of World War three again. What else? The
Speaker 1: name of this podcast has changed. It's now hashtag Storytime.
Speaker 1: Thanks a lot, Seth Rogan. Actually, I decided to add
Speaker 1: the hashtag to make it feel a little more internettie
Speaker 1: and less like a kids show. We were getting a
Speaker 1: lot of babies listening to the show, which is a
Speaker 1: problem because, uh, it is explicit and even though I
Speaker 1: refer to many of my adoring fans as fable babies,
Speaker 1: the show is not made for actual babies. So hopefully
Speaker 1: this clears that up. We also won some awards. We
Speaker 1: won two Silver Awards for Best Podcast Series and Best
Speaker 1: Host at the W three Awards. No big deal. Kind
Speaker 1: of a big deal, but not really a big deal.
Speaker 1: You kind of just pay them and they give you
Speaker 1: the awards. Also, I got COVID seven times, all right.
Speaker 1: That brings us up to snow. So this season we're
Speaker 1: shaking things up and instead of hearing stories from YouTubers
Speaker 1: and tiktoker's, we're actually chatting with podcasters. Crazy notion that
Speaker 1: on a podcast, maybe you talk with other podcasters. We're
Speaker 1: figuring it out. But I'm super Jazz kickoff season three
Speaker 1: with none other than Annie Reese. And you know Annie.
Speaker 1: She's the host of Stuff Mom Never Told You, which
Speaker 1: it's a podcast continuing the conversation on what it means
Speaker 1: to identify as a female through research based discussion around
Speaker 1: feminism and how it impacts everyday life. She's also the
Speaker 1: host of Savor, which is a tasty podcast exploring the
Speaker 1: science and history and culture of food and drink. There's
Speaker 1: lots of puns. It's very fun. And Annie and I
Speaker 1: sat down and she told me a story that involves
Speaker 1: a family trip to Florida. Gary Oldman and Broken Bones Enjoy.
Speaker 1: So this is the tale of two broken ankles. It's
Speaker 1: very closely intertwined. Um and the first to play us
Speaker 1: When I was eight years old and I was visiting
Speaker 1: my cousins in Florida, just outside of Orlando for the
Speaker 1: very first time. And I'd never been to Florida, and
Speaker 1: at the time, like, I was so excited about it
Speaker 1: because you know, you would see those commercials or like
Speaker 1: the kid would open the suitcase at night and Tinkerville
Speaker 1: would fly out, and then you go to Disney World.
Speaker 1: The parents of like, we have to go because it's
Speaker 1: so cute. My parents repeatedly told me, never ever, ever,
Speaker 1: we take you to Disney World. But I still thought,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe there's a chance or maybe all of
Speaker 1: Florida's like that. I don't know, this kind of magical place.
Speaker 1: Why why were your parents so anti Disney World. I
Speaker 1: think they just knew it was going to be miserable. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they had no interest in it themselves and they just
Speaker 1: didn't want to put up with it, which I kind
Speaker 1: of respect them for now. Um, I actually ended up
Speaker 1: joining Marching Band just to go to Disney World, so
Speaker 1: I found my own way eventually. Who knew that Marching
Speaker 1: Band would would be the key to unlock Disney World
Speaker 1: the true happiest place on Earth? No, actually miserable. I
Speaker 1: don't know if anybody's been in Marching Band, but whoa
Speaker 1: a lot of drum all right. Anyway, I was still
Speaker 1: excited even if there was Disney World was off the
Speaker 1: table because I was also going to go hang out
Speaker 1: with my older cousins and they were I thought they
Speaker 1: were the coolest. They're so much cooler than me, and
Speaker 1: and so it's all this excitement I'm feeling that I
Speaker 1: don't think was mirrored by the rest of my family. Um.
Speaker 1: I have two brothers, and then my mom and dad.
Speaker 1: We all packed in our blue raw of Star and
Speaker 1: I'm just you know, it's this long, awkward trip, and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm the kid that's like, oh my god, we're
Speaker 1: all there. It's gonna be so good. And then the
Speaker 1: the cooler cousins, what were their names Caroline and John.
Speaker 1: Caroline and John the coolest cousins in town. Oh, they
Speaker 1: were the coolest cousins in town. And they really I
Speaker 1: want to put in here in that weird way where
Speaker 1: you kind of understand relationship but kind of don't. They
Speaker 1: didn't like me, but I thought that was cool because
Speaker 1: I was obviously the annoying younger cousin need a little
Speaker 1: challenge exactly. I'm like, you might not like me because
Speaker 1: you're cool, but you'll see one day that I am
Speaker 1: also cool, which is kind of the crux of this
Speaker 1: whole story where it goes wrong. Um So, we arrived
Speaker 1: in Florida and it's like some weird mix between a
Speaker 1: condo and a hotel situation, and it's all you know,
Speaker 1: flat and one story and mosquitoes everywhere. Everything's beige. But again,
Speaker 1: I was so excited and this was the height of
Speaker 1: luxury and it was the best thing ever. Um So
Speaker 1: it's with this mindset that the next day I I
Speaker 1: wake up and my parents are like, you're gonna hang
Speaker 1: out with your cousins and your older brother all day.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be with your aunt and uncle, and you know,
Speaker 1: be good. Don't call is a new trouble and I
Speaker 1: was like, Yes, this is finally all day with my
Speaker 1: cool cousins and my older brother, who I also kind
Speaker 1: of wanted to impress. By the way, that's my favorite
Speaker 1: type of parenting of the like be good, don't do
Speaker 1: anything stupid. Yeah, mistake in hindsight, but yes, um alright.
Speaker 1: So to this day, I'm not really sure their motivations
Speaker 1: behind this. I can't I can't say if they were
Speaker 1: trying to get rid of me or if they were
Speaker 1: trying to test me or mess with me. But they
Speaker 1: wanted to take me to see a rated R movie. Um,
Speaker 1: so they wanted to go see this movie and they
Speaker 1: were gonna, you know, sneak me in. Which one was it? Oh?
Speaker 1: It was Air Force one. Hell yeah. So I should
Speaker 1: also add some context here because I was one like
Speaker 1: a child who I got into trouble, But I wasn't
Speaker 1: a troublemaker if that makes sense. I just sort of
Speaker 1: accidentally stumbled into trouble. Yes, I had terrible ideas, That's
Speaker 1: what I always say. I had terrible ideas that I
Speaker 1: thought were great, but it was never I was never
Speaker 1: out to like get in trouble or anything. So I
Speaker 1: was like already inside feeling like, oh no, I can't
Speaker 1: do this, And then I had and I had recently
Speaker 1: gotten in trouble for watching Jurassic Park against my parents
Speaker 1: wishes and having nightmares, and it was very obvious that
Speaker 1: I've seen Jurassic Parks, so I'd already gotten like one
Speaker 1: strike in this arena totally worth it. But then I'm
Speaker 1: also terrified of Gary Oldman, and at this time because
Speaker 1: my older brother had played this epic, epic prank on
Speaker 1: me months earlier, where it involved making me believe the
Speaker 1: autopsy the Roswell autopsy tape was real. There was a
Speaker 1: power out and just there was special effects, there was
Speaker 1: sound effects. He went all out and terrified me of
Speaker 1: aliens to the point I only watched a t like
Speaker 1: three years ago. Terrified me. So he wore of the
Speaker 1: World's do you he did. I can't watch more of
Speaker 1: the World's don't even test me on that one. I
Speaker 1: cannot do it. And I love horror movies that I
Speaker 1: can't do it. Um And Gary Oldman was an alien
Speaker 1: spider in the film Lost in Space, which terrified me,
Speaker 1: terrified me, and I could not remove Gary Oldman from
Speaker 1: that role. I mean let's be honest, normal Gary Oldman
Speaker 1: is night nightmare fuel. It's true. He's very intense. He's
Speaker 1: very intense, and I knew he was in this movie,
Speaker 1: so I've I'm already like scared of breaking the rules,
Speaker 1: scared of Gary Oldman. But these were my cool cousins
Speaker 1: and they wanted me to go see the movie. So
Speaker 1: we snuck into a matinee show. I see this movie
Speaker 1: and inside I am just breaking down, and I'm trying
Speaker 1: so hard not to show how terrified I am. And
Speaker 1: I'm like watching it like you would a documentary, like
Speaker 1: oh no. Also, the sneaking into the movie, did you
Speaker 1: guys do the trench coat on the shoulders move? Because
Speaker 1: where you were six years old? Right? I was like
Speaker 1: I was. I think I was older. I think I
Speaker 1: was like eight, um, but yeah, I was still quite small,
Speaker 1: and I remember like my my cousins causing a distraction.
Speaker 1: But in all honesty, it was like a totally abandoned
Speaker 1: mall theater. Like I don't think anybody care at all,
Speaker 1: but to me, this was a big deal. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I'm trying to play it cool from a cool cousins.
Speaker 1: I don't want my parents to find out. I've seen
Speaker 1: this movie, but I am terrified, terrified, terrified, and like
Speaker 1: looking over my shoulder all day, like something's going to
Speaker 1: happen here. And so my cousins and my brother, I
Speaker 1: think they were just tired of me, and it was
Speaker 1: clear that I was distracted, I think, so they left
Speaker 1: me alone in this condo hotel situation, and they turned
Speaker 1: on angels in the outfield, which I'll never forget, and I'm,
Speaker 1: you know, trying to calm down. I'm like pacing and
Speaker 1: looking around, looking out the window. And then I saw it,
Speaker 1: a white van and it was spraying some kind of
Speaker 1: gas and it was slowly moving up the street. I
Speaker 1: freaked out. I was like turning things over, and I'm
Speaker 1: thinking I'm dead. I'm gonna die right now. This is it.
Speaker 1: We're all dead. What can I do? Nothing? I know,
Speaker 1: Harrison Ford, There's nothing I can do to stop this
Speaker 1: terrorist attack, this poisonous gas. My whole Florida vacation ruined
Speaker 1: and cut cut two inside the van, Gary Oldman as
Speaker 1: a spider's driving, is that that's actually how would end you?
Speaker 1: What a twist? Um? Okay? So at this point, like
Speaker 1: I remember on screen, it's that angel and the outfield
Speaker 1: sea they're all flapping their wings. That's gonna be me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the angel in the outfield. What can
Speaker 1: I do? And for some reason, what occurred to me
Speaker 1: is if I'm going to die, I want to get
Speaker 1: drunk first. So I like ran to the refrigerator, opened
Speaker 1: it up, and I got a six pack of Fresca
Speaker 1: because I thought Fresca was beer. Um, thank god it
Speaker 1: wasn't real beer. Because I drank all six of them
Speaker 1: in quick succession. Impressive, and I you know, I was like,
Speaker 1: this feels so good. I was convinced I was drunk, like, wow,
Speaker 1: this is great. If I'm gonna die, I'm I'm feeling
Speaker 1: really good. This grapefruit flavored beer is del I don't
Speaker 1: know why to this day, I'm like, I always thought
Speaker 1: it was Beard. I'm not sure why that was. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's it's sort of paved the way for you know,
Speaker 1: White Clause. I would say, that's true. You're you know,
Speaker 1: you're right. It was an early they were ahead of
Speaker 1: the game. You're just you were on the Seltzer track
Speaker 1: before everyone else. As an eight year old, I was
Speaker 1: already like, you know what this is gonna be big
Speaker 1: one day, but I'm still despite being convinced I'm drunk,
Speaker 1: I am still filled with terror. So I convinced myself,
Speaker 1: you know what, I gotta warn everybody about this. We've
Speaker 1: got to let everyone know. Like I'm feeling the liquid
Speaker 1: courage of the Fresca. So I fling open the door
Speaker 1: and I start running down the row of these condos
Speaker 1: like some kind of weird Paul Revere. I was wearing
Speaker 1: like a really big pink shirt and overalls, and I
Speaker 1: was shouting, like running. They're coming, rocking a dot like
Speaker 1: just booking it, book in it. And then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, just gravity falls out from me. I fall
Speaker 1: and they're like arms go up, a very epic big fall.
Speaker 1: And I would later learn that I fell right outside
Speaker 1: of where my parents were like sitting and talking with
Speaker 1: my aunt and uncle at these big bay windows, and
Speaker 1: they just see me like screaming and fly by, and
Speaker 1: the disappeared into this Danish dish. Oh my goodness, yep.
Speaker 1: And I it hurt, hurt real bad, and I twisted
Speaker 1: my ankle and I had to my parents had to
Speaker 1: take me to the hospital um, and they were furious,
Speaker 1: furious with me, furious with my cousins because I'm like
Speaker 1: still babbling on about this terrorist truck and Gary oldman
Speaker 1: and all of this stuff just pouring out of me.
Speaker 1: They of course told me it was a mosquito truck
Speaker 1: and it was fine. Were you acting drunk at this
Speaker 1: point too, or had you sobered up because of the fall? Oh?
Speaker 1: I was still drunk. I was still and I was
Speaker 1: telling them all about it. I'm like, I guess I'm
Speaker 1: talking because I'm drunk. And they were like, what I
Speaker 1: found the fresco and They're like, no, you're not drunk,
Speaker 1: and I kept trying to convince them, yes I am.
Speaker 1: And then so they took me to the hospital and
Speaker 1: they made me, because they thought this would punish me,
Speaker 1: explain the whole story to the doctor. But that was
Speaker 1: also a mistake because I kept telling the doctor I
Speaker 1: was drunk um and then all I had done was
Speaker 1: trying to save everyone. Like I might have been wrong,
Speaker 1: it might not have been terrorist man, but I was
Speaker 1: just trying to help. Oh. But I'm sure this Florida
Speaker 1: doctor has seen plenty of drunk eight year old so
Speaker 1: that was nothing to happened the norm. You're right, You're right, Uh,
Speaker 1: he probably was like, just it's another one. At least
Speaker 1: it was Fresca this time. Okay. So months later, cast
Speaker 1: is off, braces off. I'm still in trouble. I'm still
Speaker 1: a bit in the doghouse. But you know, my parents
Speaker 1: are kind of slowly forgetting about this embarrassment they suffered
Speaker 1: and the trouble I got in, and they decided to
Speaker 1: take me to this fall Fair and I was really
Speaker 1: excited about it, but I had this dance recital later
Speaker 1: that night, so they were like, you know, you gotta
Speaker 1: be good. More from you And you had a dance
Speaker 1: recital with this brained yes to the I'm like, what
Speaker 1: was that? But I mean I it was a very
Speaker 1: I had already been practicing practicing for it. It was
Speaker 1: a like year long thing, and I was just going
Speaker 1: to kind of stand in the back and like do
Speaker 1: my hands and stuff, not do the feet part so much.
Speaker 1: But my parents they were kind of the parents that
Speaker 1: were like, we paid for this and you're just trying
Speaker 1: to get out of it, and we're going, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So we go to this all fair and it just
Speaker 1: as a kind of immediate disaster. Like I loudly tell everybody,
Speaker 1: I never get sick on rides and that you have
Speaker 1: to let me ride this rocket ride and then vomit
Speaker 1: all over myself. I know exactly. I was so annoying
Speaker 1: about it too. I was like, I never get sick
Speaker 1: on rod everywhere immediately, yes, And then my parents had
Speaker 1: got me a caramel apple because I've never had one,
Speaker 1: and I made this big deal about it, and I
Speaker 1: like chipped, I hurt my tooth thought it, and I
Speaker 1: felt really sick, but I didn't want to say anything
Speaker 1: because they were clearly annoyed with me. And so we
Speaker 1: get home and they tell it. They instruct me go
Speaker 1: to your room and do not come down. We're having
Speaker 1: friends and family over. Before that, we go to this recital,
Speaker 1: and you know, we've just had it with you, like,
Speaker 1: go clean up, stay in there, we'll leave when it's time.
Speaker 1: Should have been easy, I should have that. Okay. Well,
Speaker 1: I get it in my head that I'm really really thirsty,
Speaker 1: and I was still kind of nervous about the whole
Speaker 1: terrorist thing, so I didn't want to drink from the
Speaker 1: sink in the bathroom near me, So I wanted to
Speaker 1: go downstairs and get the filtered water, but I did
Speaker 1: not want to interrupt my parents at this they very strict.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I just gotta get around them,
Speaker 1: come in the other side. They'll never know. I left
Speaker 1: my room, but I was on the second story, so
Speaker 1: I was looking around and like, how can I do this?
Speaker 1: And my eye caught on this bright red umbrella, my
Speaker 1: favorite bright red umbrella, and I was like, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm I'm Mary Poppins, this thing. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: get the umbrella, climb out on the roof, float on down,
Speaker 1: easy peasy. No one has to know. Clearly, this was
Speaker 1: a terrible plan for multiple reasons. I don't know how
Speaker 1: I thought it was gonna get back up. Mary Poppins
Speaker 1: also used it to fly, so you know she could
Speaker 1: float back up no problem. I selectively like remember the
Speaker 1: key parts of things I like. So I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is gonna be great and it's gonna be fun.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, it's gonna look so cool.
Speaker 1: So I climb out onto the roof and I pought
Speaker 1: the umbrella with great a plum, like, oh, this is
Speaker 1: gonna be good. And I took the most confident leap
Speaker 1: off of the roof maybe anyone's ever taken. Maybe any
Speaker 1: eight year old has ever taken with umbrella immediately spokes
Speaker 1: gone and it breaks and I go blumting down to
Speaker 1: the earth and I landed moss and I go right
Speaker 1: past the windows where my parents we're having to with
Speaker 1: their friends and their family, just this eight year old
Speaker 1: body going Okay. So I'm like, frantically if my ankle
Speaker 1: is killing you, but I'm frantically thinking, I gotta plan B.
Speaker 1: I gotta save this because I already cost enough damage
Speaker 1: and I was so much trouble. So my parents came
Speaker 1: running out and I like pulling myself up and I said, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm fine, no no issue here, Let's just
Speaker 1: forget this happened. My parents are very skeptical. They're like, okay,
Speaker 1: well what you know. It's just so so confused as
Speaker 1: to what my plan was. But they have all this
Speaker 1: company and they're kind of like, we'll deal with this later.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go this recital, all right, Oh this is
Speaker 1: pre recitaled. Yes, yes, So I have to go and
Speaker 1: clean up again because I'm covered in moss. And we
Speaker 1: get ready. We all pack in that blue arrow starve
Speaker 1: in and all of my friends and family member they're
Speaker 1: all going to see this recital, and I remember like
Speaker 1: I'm back. I'm in the back row because there's two
Speaker 1: rows of us dancing, and I'm trying to keep it
Speaker 1: together and like look like I'm you know, not in
Speaker 1: terrible pain. And then like I moved up to the
Speaker 1: front because we're kind of doing a circle thing. The
Speaker 1: song I've Got the Power was playing, and I just
Speaker 1: like completely collapsed and fell off the stage and caused
Speaker 1: this whole uproar, and my parents are filming it, so
Speaker 1: there's a VHS of me just like totally eating it
Speaker 1: and falling off the stage with two broken ankles. Yeah,
Speaker 1: essentially essentially so that after that, you know, the recitals ruined.
Speaker 1: My parents had to explain to all these people that
Speaker 1: they had invited. I was in pretty big trouble um.
Speaker 1: And that was, yeah, the time I broke my ankle
Speaker 1: twice in kind of a short period of time. Um.
Speaker 1: But also a very good example what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I just make terrible decisions. I was actively looking for
Speaker 1: trouble just and and heavily influenced by the movie is
Speaker 1: that you're watching. Yes, yes, I also have a home
Speaker 1: alone story. But I'll say that another day. Any kid
Speaker 1: who watches on alone and thinks, you know what, I
Speaker 1: bet that works. Yeah, I should swing paint cans that
Speaker 1: I definitely should electrocute this guy. Yeah, let me let
Speaker 1: me make my door knob into molten lava. Yes, I
Speaker 1: don't see any flaw on those plans at all. Clearly,
Speaker 1: I imagine your parents, uh, just having a montage of
Speaker 1: view in childhood, just going past windows, doing insane thing,
Speaker 1: just falling past windows. There she comes again. I have
Speaker 1: started to feel sympathy for my parents, Like this was
Speaker 1: a fun exercise for me where I was like, oh
Speaker 1: what am I? Really funny stories and so many of
Speaker 1: them involved like traumatizing my parents and it being like,
Speaker 1: please don't do that. Why do we have to tell
Speaker 1: you not to do that? Also, very beverage in like
Speaker 1: inspired to both the Fresca and the filtered one. We're
Speaker 1: really key elements to your town. It's true, I am,
Speaker 1: I I do. I'm usually drinking something and that's also
Speaker 1: been used to foil me many times. Many franks have
Speaker 1: been played on me. Great legs um and then if
Speaker 1: you could say what the moral of the story is
Speaker 1: or what you learned from from these events? Looking back.
Speaker 1: What would you say? It is? So to sum it
Speaker 1: all up, the moral of the story what I learned is, uh,
Speaker 1: don't trust your cousins, don't trust umbrellas Fresca is out here.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Important these lessons will do you
Speaker 1: better than they did me. Important things to learn at
Speaker 1: such a young tinder age. Well that was perfect, any,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Thank you so much, And I'm
Speaker 1: glad you survived both of those harrowing speriences. Me too,
Speaker 1: Me too. I definitely think the umbrella thing could have
Speaker 1: got Wow. You know, I totally relate to Annie in
Speaker 1: that story because I've actually been having a lot of
Speaker 1: gary old midnightmares to except minor um sex here. Also, Annie,
Speaker 1: I think you took the saying break a leg just
Speaker 1: a little too literally. You can follow Annie all over
Speaker 1: the place, so head to the description for those hot
Speaker 1: links hot links. Welcome back. I have an exciting announcement
Speaker 1: slash update for you. Due to budget cuts, I have
Speaker 1: hired some unpaid AI interns also known as robots, who
Speaker 1: are going to help me unpack some of the weirdest
Speaker 1: threads I found on Reddit with a little segment of
Speaker 1: call robot Reddit reads and today's ask Reddit comes from
Speaker 1: user crowned Bird, who asked, what moment made you say Yep,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely dead but survived with no major injuries. My
Speaker 1: answer to that question is every time I eat at
Speaker 1: Applebee's all right, robots take it away. Not me, but
Speaker 1: my mom before I was born. She was riding in
Speaker 1: a convertible with a friend of hers. They came to
Speaker 1: an intersection and the friend wasn't paying attention and lost
Speaker 1: control of the vehicle. There was a big rig going
Speaker 1: through the intersection and they went right under the trailer.
Speaker 1: My mom ducked, the driver did not driver was decapitated.
Speaker 1: My mom was lucky and only ended up with a
Speaker 1: scalp full of glass and some serious psychological trauma. She
Speaker 1: had to get over two hundred stitches in her scalp,
Speaker 1: but nothing else significant. I think about it all the
Speaker 1: time and think how close I came to never being
Speaker 1: born at all. That story kind of gives me back
Speaker 1: to the future meets fast and furious vibes, you know,
Speaker 1: maybe be called back to the Furious Biffs drift. Also,
Speaker 1: two hundred stitches in the scalps sounds like a pretty
Speaker 1: major injury to me, but maybe I'm just a big baby.
Speaker 1: I was a senior in high school and the student
Speaker 1: club I was in organized an unofficial beach trip towards
Speaker 1: the end of the year, no teachers or official permission,
Speaker 1: leaving me in a few other seniors in charge of
Speaker 1: supervising everything. After a couple hours worth of fun, one
Speaker 1: of the other students came running up to me and
Speaker 1: said that three of the younger members of the club
Speaker 1: had been swept out by a riptide and couldn't get
Speaker 1: back towards the shore. Me and two other of the
Speaker 1: older students, all experienced swimmers, immediately went to go help them.
Speaker 1: My friends got two of the three kids in trouble
Speaker 1: and started guiding them parallel to the shore to get
Speaker 1: them out of the current. But the guy that I
Speaker 1: went for was panicking, barely staying above the water, and
Speaker 1: started dragging me down with him almost immediately. I yelled
Speaker 1: for people to get a lifeguard and tried to keep
Speaker 1: both of us afloat, but after a few minutes, I
Speaker 1: was getting exhausted, having trouble keeping both of us above
Speaker 1: the water, and I couldn't see anyone coming to the rescue.
Speaker 1: I started getting big mouthfuls of water, and my leg
Speaker 1: muscles were starting to cramp, and I remember thinking, holy shit,
Speaker 1: I might actually die right here, right now, as the
Speaker 1: current started pulling us further and further away from where
Speaker 1: everyone was. Thankfully, for everyone involved, one of the students
Speaker 1: on the beach had flagged down a couple of surfers
Speaker 1: who made their way out to where we were as
Speaker 1: quickly as they could and hold first the younger student
Speaker 1: and then be onto the front of their boards and
Speaker 1: took us back to shore. I'll always be thankful and
Speaker 1: appreciative for those strangers who put themselves in the dangerous
Speaker 1: position of rescuing two drowning swimmers. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is about that panic drowning mentality that's like, hey,
Speaker 1: thanks for trying to save me, but I'm gonna murder
Speaker 1: you now. Like if I'm going I'm taking you with me.
Speaker 1: You know. Sometimes lifeguards have to literally punch people in
Speaker 1: the face to get them to calm down so they
Speaker 1: can rescue them. These are all reasons why I generally
Speaker 1: stay out of the ocean. One of my most surreal
Speaker 1: experiences of my life was riding my bike on the
Speaker 1: sidewalk next to an extremely busy road at night. I
Speaker 1: hit something on the sidewalk I don't know what, and
Speaker 1: tumbled sideways into the street. As I fell, I saw
Speaker 1: the road light up from headlights from a car behind me,
Speaker 1: and when I hit the asphalt, I just laid there
Speaker 1: because I knew I couldn't get out of the way
Speaker 1: in time. After a second or so, I wasn't dead.
Speaker 1: So I looked around and the street was empty. It
Speaker 1: wasn't empty when I fell. There were cars going in
Speaker 1: both directions. That was over twenty years ago, and I'm
Speaker 1: still not entirely convinced that I didn't die. It's possible
Speaker 1: that I imagine the headlights, but that road is never
Speaker 1: empty like it was. It's a major street in a
Speaker 1: major city. It always has cars on it, even at
Speaker 1: three am. It was the first of many experiences that
Speaker 1: lead me down a path of questioning the nature of reality.
Speaker 1: This sounds like a multiverse situation to me. Maybe you'd
Speaker 1: actually died in that universe, but your consciousness shifted to
Speaker 1: another universe where there were no cars. Maybe every time
Speaker 1: we die, our consciousness just slides into another universe where
Speaker 1: instead we had a near death experience. Maybe I ate
Speaker 1: too many weed gummies last night. Have any of you
Speaker 1: Fable babies out there had a near death experience? If
Speaker 1: you have, I want to hear it. Call the Storytime
Speaker 1: hotline three two, three, seven, one eight seventy three. Tell
Speaker 1: me your story and maybe I'll feature it on an
Speaker 1: upcoming listener Tales episode. Also for more robo reddit reads,
Speaker 1: follow us on Instagram at story Time do Pod. Take
Speaker 1: a second right now and hit that subscribe button so
Speaker 1: you don't miss next week's episode. I've got a spicy
Speaker 1: little tale coming from Katie Osbourne also known as Katie Osaurus.
Speaker 1: Here's a taste to with that beak. And so I
Speaker 1: started like on the download planning like kink and b
Speaker 1: D s M and like orgy parties for people all
Speaker 1: over the Midwest. Um and then yeah right, and that
Speaker 1: was my secret summer job while I was working as
Speaker 1: an intern at the Shakespeare Festival. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening to hashtag Storytime. It's really great to be back.
Speaker 1: I'd love to give another big thanks to Annie Rest
Speaker 1: for being on the pot as always. You can find
Speaker 1: links to all the awesome ship she has going on
Speaker 1: in the description. If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave
Speaker 1: us a review. It helps set a lot and I
Speaker 1: literally read every single one of them. Hashtag Storytime is
Speaker 1: produced by I Heart Radio and Curativity Productions, Hosted by
Speaker 1: Will McFadden. Sound designed by Tony Maddox, written by Jason
Speaker 1: Shapiro and Will McFadden, Produced by Jason Shapiro, Danielle Le
Speaker 1: Mora and Jordan Elijah Michael. Theme sung by Scott Simon's
Speaker 1: artwork by John PUZZA guide