Speaker 1: Okay, guys, it's that time of year. It's time for
Speaker 1: our fifty ninth annual Toss Show super Bowl Pregame special Tashha,
Speaker 1: Tosh Show Up, Tosh Show, Cup Show. Welcome to Tosh Show.
Speaker 1: Let's get it going. Here we go one two, three
Speaker 1: way way. You know what? Doing the wave with a
Speaker 1: group of people where only one of them is on camera,
Speaker 1: it really loses something. I'm gonna talk a lot of
Speaker 1: sports today and that's gonna infuriate some and it's gonna
Speaker 1: entertain others. But before we get into that, I gotta
Speaker 1: tell you a story about my son the other night
Speaker 1: when we were putting them down for bed. Can't believe this.
Speaker 1: I overheard my wife wrapping up. I walk in. I
Speaker 1: never know what I'm gonna say. I walk into a
Speaker 1: room like Kramer, you know, come flying and screaming the
Speaker 1: N word. No, I'm kidding. I don't know what's gonna
Speaker 1: come out of my mouth. I just yell something at him.
Speaker 1: I think it's funny. I just I barged in. I
Speaker 1: just started screaming. I found out you lied to me.
Speaker 1: That was just being silly, and he just starts bawling, crying. No,
Speaker 1: just immediately just starts bawling, crying, and my wife looks
Speaker 1: at me like he what in the fuck, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I was just, I was just But then he's he's
Speaker 1: like he's scrying. He goes, I only did it twice,
Speaker 1: And so then my wife's like, oh shit, it, what
Speaker 1: in the world did I just stumble into And he says,
Speaker 1: he goes, I've only lied to you twice. One time
Speaker 1: was back uh in preschool, which is now a couple
Speaker 1: of years ago. Wow. He said that there was a
Speaker 1: flower pot that had like a little crystal rock in there,
Speaker 1: or crystal rocks in this little flower pot, and he
Speaker 1: took one of the crystal rocks. And I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: I'm glad you told me, and you can always tell
Speaker 1: me and we all make mistakes, but you probably shouldn't
Speaker 1: have taken it without permission, but that's okay. Oh, And
Speaker 1: I go, well, do you want to tell me the
Speaker 1: other time I killed a pigeon? No, so the other
Speaker 1: you're gonna but you won't believe this, Eddie. The other
Speaker 1: time that he lied again, I wasn't fishing for anything.
Speaker 1: He stumbled into it. This is ridiculous. I'm just trying
Speaker 1: to put him to bed. He's sobbing. He's sobbing through
Speaker 1: these confessions and I'm like, it's okay, but he goes.
Speaker 1: The other time was I was on a plane with
Speaker 1: Eddie and I'm like, oh, and he goes, we were
Speaker 1: playing a a card game or some game and he
Speaker 1: and I and he goes, I cheated. He said he cheated.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I didn't even catch it either. How bad are my
Speaker 1: card games? Where this kid's like getting one over me?
Speaker 1: He he So, I'm just letting you know, Eddie that
Speaker 1: you should have won. Oh well, that just feel good.
Speaker 1: My son cheated you. He beat me. He was sobbing,
Speaker 1: he was before bed because he played a game with
Speaker 1: Eddie and he said that he cheated during the game.
Speaker 1: Like and I'm like, and by the way, some of
Speaker 1: his card games are just made up card games anyway,
Speaker 1: the rules don't exist. They're not even real games. But anyway, listen,
Speaker 1: I'm just the kid is extremely easy to interrogate. I
Speaker 1: mean he just immediately folds like origami. I gotta work
Speaker 1: with him on that. But that was that was just
Speaker 1: the other night. Anyway, let me give you a before
Speaker 1: I get into it too. Uh, this this episode, I
Speaker 1: want to give you a little update on the fire
Speaker 1: situation here in so Cow, a thing no one says.
Speaker 1: I want to talk about a few of the upsides
Speaker 1: of the fire for me personally, and listen, I'm not
Speaker 1: trying to minimize the horrific scope of what happened, but
Speaker 1: just for my own sanity, I like to point out
Speaker 1: a few of the good things that have happened because
Speaker 1: of these fires. One, as you know from watching this show,
Speaker 1: I love to give away my stuff, and now with
Speaker 1: families that are in such need, I have been going
Speaker 1: to crazy town. Like you know, one of the signs
Speaker 1: of somebody that's suicidal is they give away all their possessions. Well,
Speaker 1: then get ready for me to kill myself because I
Speaker 1: am unloading large quantities of stuff. The gifts on the
Speaker 1: show going forward are going to I'm gonna take a
Speaker 1: hit for a while. There's gonna be some slim pickings
Speaker 1: because I'm given just everything away, closed shoes. You know. Hey,
Speaker 1: the other day, somebody's like, uh, oh, do you have
Speaker 1: I checked in with this family that had lost them.
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you guys need dish wear? Because the
Speaker 1: guest house where my in laws stay they don't cook.
Speaker 1: I watch what they eat. If they don't eat with us.
Speaker 1: They have microwave popcorn for dinner. Just weird old people
Speaker 1: rationings meal. Yeah, like they don't eat. I'm like, they don't.
Speaker 1: And there's full sets of plates and silver they they've got,
Speaker 1: you know, twenty of everything. So I left them four,
Speaker 1: four plates, four bulls for everything, and then I took
Speaker 1: the whatever was left ten or so, you know. I
Speaker 1: divvied it up into two piles of six, and that
Speaker 1: fair to give to a family need just a set
Speaker 1: of six. I gave sets of six to multiple people.
Speaker 1: I'm like, great, I can't stop giving away stuff anyway.
Speaker 1: If you need anything, and you were affected by the
Speaker 1: fire and you're thinking, there's no way he has this
Speaker 1: reach out to me. There was a bike. I was like,
Speaker 1: my son, I'm like, you're not riding your bike very much.
Speaker 1: It's gone. Gave it away. And then people are like, well,
Speaker 1: does he still use it? I'm like, not anymore. Your
Speaker 1: family uses it. You gotta use it. If you don't
Speaker 1: use it, you're gonna lose it. That's the new mantra
Speaker 1: in our house. And I tell my someone who's playing
Speaker 1: with toys I'm like, come on, buddy, if you give
Speaker 1: it away, you're helping somebody else. And he doesn't really
Speaker 1: care about that, and I don't blame him, but he's
Speaker 1: now like starting to play with everything because he's just terrified.
Speaker 1: Ye that he sees me going through the house with
Speaker 1: a box and he knows what that means, and it's like,
Speaker 1: we got to help somebody. He's like, oh shit, don't
Speaker 1: come to my room. Another bright side for me personally
Speaker 1: is that the restaurants in the area that are still
Speaker 1: open and weren't affected. You know, there's just nobody in there,
Speaker 1: which is bad for business, and they'll probably go under
Speaker 1: and I'll lose them and that's terrible. But in the meantime,
Speaker 1: I get to eat in complete privacy plenty. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: It's like, I'll take all the tables that you know.
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, I, do you want a booth
Speaker 1: or table? Do you want to sit inside her out?
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm gonna do both. We'll start we'll do
Speaker 1: the first course outside and then as it gets colder,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna move into a booth. You guys
Speaker 1: just follow me around Before I get into talking football.
Speaker 1: I need to quickly rehash some Australian Open. WHOA Yeah.
Speaker 1: By the way, I find myself the most patriotic when
Speaker 1: I'm watching tennis. It's weird all of a sudden, I
Speaker 1: care so much about my country. Tennis and war those
Speaker 1: are the two times that I feel the most patriotic.
Speaker 1: Let me talk about Mattie Keys. I don't know how
Speaker 1: old she is, she's my late twenties. She's been in
Speaker 1: tennis since probably eighteen. She's had a long road and
Speaker 1: she won. She made it all the way to the
Speaker 1: finals and she won. She beat the number one player
Speaker 1: in the finals and the number two player in the semis.
Speaker 1: And you know, one of them's Russian, one of them's
Speaker 1: something else with a bunch of k's in their name,
Speaker 1: and I just I just roote against them so hard
Speaker 1: because they don't have the personality that I like. But
Speaker 1: Mattie Keys did our country proud and won. Now the
Speaker 1: bigger story during the Australian Open, and much like Aaron
Speaker 1: Rodgers is Djokovic. Djokovic loses the first set and a
Speaker 1: tiebreaker and then just quits, retires, and he hears a
Speaker 1: handful of booze from the stadium or a lot of booze.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I listened, dude, it didn't sound overwhelming.
Speaker 1: And and you know, everybody lose their mind because in
Speaker 1: the past, you know, he's cried wolf, right. We learned
Speaker 1: that story as a child for a reason. It's a thing,
Speaker 1: you know. Just because he's really hurt this time doesn't
Speaker 1: erase the fact that a couple dozen other times he's
Speaker 1: whined about an injury that probably didn't exist. And by
Speaker 1: the way, let me say something about booing, and people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, how classless of the Australians to boo. Okay,
Speaker 1: first of all, it wasn't all of them. You know.
Speaker 1: One time I did a show two thousand and one
Speaker 1: is my guests at the University of Florida their Gator Grau,
Speaker 1: their homecoming big show. It's fifty seven thousand people, the
Speaker 1: largest stand up show in the world. And I was opening,
Speaker 1: David Tell was featuring Jim Brewer was the headliner. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: well whatever, listen, and anybody that knows stand up nos Ooh,
Speaker 1: you don't want to go up after David Tell. Guy's
Speaker 1: a monster, you know, he's he's better than all of us.
Speaker 1: And there's a you just it's just that's just the fact.
Speaker 1: Even if the audience doesn't know it, there'll be an
Speaker 1: energy on the next comic we're you're like, whoa you're
Speaker 1: Why are you not as great as that other guy? Well, anyway,
Speaker 1: during Jim Brewer's set, there was there was a group
Speaker 1: or so of people and let's say it was two
Speaker 1: hundred people that started booing and and Jim kind of
Speaker 1: acknowledged it but didn't really and then you know, did
Speaker 1: his okay, did an okay show. But here's my point.
Speaker 1: When there's fifty seven thousand people watching you and two
Speaker 1: hundred people bow you really loudly, you're gonna be like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's a horrible show. But the reality is that's just
Speaker 1: a tiny group of people, such a small percentage, right,
Speaker 1: The other people could have been loving you. Anyways, getting
Speaker 1: back to Djokovic being a little bitch, Okay, a handful
Speaker 1: of people booed. First of all, they didn't know how
Speaker 1: serious it was. They just saw you and the match
Speaker 1: after one set. They paid a fortune to see you
Speaker 1: in a major in the semi finals, and instead of
Speaker 1: getting to see five hours of tennis, they got to
Speaker 1: see forty five minutes who cares and it and it
Speaker 1: was let's say it with thirty people that did it,
Speaker 1: maybe it was probably less than that, and you just
Speaker 1: everybody freaks out. Can you believe the behavior of these
Speaker 1: people that the Australian fuck you, it's a it's a game.
Speaker 1: You're you're performing a game. And the guy out there
Speaker 1: that quit is a dick. So yeah, they booed, who cares,
Speaker 1: he's very booable. Yeah he's booable. Don't act like he
Speaker 1: hasn't been a dick his whole career. He has. And
Speaker 1: then he of course he uh tweets out his MRI
Speaker 1: and it's like, okay, this is for all you couch
Speaker 1: doctors out there to show that he has a tear
Speaker 1: in his muscle. I'm like, god, damn it, you just
Speaker 1: you just proven my points. You just tone deaf, don't
Speaker 1: get it. I'm sorry you're injured. Hope you heal up
Speaker 1: in time for Indian wells in two months, when I'll
Speaker 1: be there booing the ship out of you.
Speaker 3: If he comes out and everybody just starts booing to
Speaker 3: be funny, that'd be amazing.
Speaker 1: Yeah they won't. They'll clap heat a respectful that's and
Speaker 1: that's what's dumb about tennis. It's not it's not fun
Speaker 1: on that aspect. Well, I'll have to be quiet. And
Speaker 1: they hit the ball, You're not supposed to clap if
Speaker 1: one player hits it into the net. That's you're not
Speaker 1: supposed to applaud an unforced air. You're only supposed to to,
Speaker 1: you know, applaud if your player wins a point on
Speaker 1: their own and then god forbid, they they hit the
Speaker 1: net and it bounces over in their favor, then they
Speaker 1: have to apologize to the other player, and they have
Speaker 1: to make sure that they see the apology with a
Speaker 1: hand gesture, be like, I'm sorry I won that point
Speaker 1: that my ball hit the net. I wish it would
Speaker 1: have fallen on my side since I didn't hit it
Speaker 1: perfectly enough. I'm fucking stupid, you know what. The more
Speaker 1: I talk about tennis, the more I realize I hate it.
Speaker 1: Oh switching hat and them switching hats. Getting back, getting
Speaker 1: back to my true love. No, getting ready for the
Speaker 1: super Bowl? And now are we allowed to say super
Speaker 1: Bowl or does this podcast have to be stupid and
Speaker 1: call it the Big Game? The Big We don't want
Speaker 1: to get sued by the NFL because we're talking about
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl. I've never understood that. Enjoy Pasha, all right,
Speaker 1: super Bowl fifty nine. I think it's number fifty nine.
Speaker 1: Ed's right here, fifty nine. You know how to translate
Speaker 1: Roman numerals, not at all. Just call it twenty twenty
Speaker 1: five championship with the regular season that was in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four. This country's too stupid to understand Roman numerals
Speaker 1: at this point, and we stopped learning how to write cursive.
Speaker 1: Stop pretending letters or numbers. That's what I say. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call it swifty Bowl two. Yeah. By the way,
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, she proudly calls herself a childless cat lady,
Speaker 1: But you know, how often is she even seeing these cats?
Speaker 1: I feel like she's just always gone, She's just always traveling. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's out a lot, she's never home. I don't care
Speaker 1: how much you love your cats. Nobody travels with their cats.
Speaker 1: That's disgusting. Anyway. My favorite part of any Chiefs game
Speaker 1: is always the camera pan to the Taylor Swift box,
Speaker 1: you know, watching her have to be cordial to Britney, Maga,
Speaker 1: Mahomes and whatever the name of. Butcker's handmaid is of
Speaker 1: Kicker anyway. So this year's Taylor's Chiefs verse Eddies Eagles
Speaker 1: in New Orleans. Oh yeah, Darleans. I worry about Narlans.
Speaker 1: You know they recently had snow. Can you imagine if
Speaker 1: the Levies break again because of an avalanche? Oh my goodness,
Speaker 1: that would be the worst disaster, Eddie. Now you're a
Speaker 1: die hard Eagles fan? True or false?
Speaker 2: True?
Speaker 1: When did you become an Eagles fan?
Speaker 3: I remember nineteen eighty They're in the Super Bowl, lost
Speaker 3: in Louisiana in the Superdome to the Raiders.
Speaker 1: Listen to that, listen to that childhood Oh yeah, but
Speaker 1: what you said in the eighties or nineteen eighties, nineteen
Speaker 1: think before the probably two years before that. So you've
Speaker 1: been a fan for a long time. Well, how are
Speaker 1: you feeling? Are you nervous about this game? Are you excited?
Speaker 2: Excited?
Speaker 1: Chiefs? Chiefs are going for the three pete you know,
Speaker 1: speaking of back to back champions I'd be remiss if
Speaker 1: I didn't bring up the Dolphins undefeated seventy two season,
Speaker 1: and by the way, they won the championship the following
Speaker 1: year in seventy three. And then I was conceived in
Speaker 1: seventy four. That's right, my parents were still riding high
Speaker 1: football family.
Speaker 2: Woo oh.
Speaker 1: We love the Dolphins and they love sex, unprotected unprotected sex. Oh,
Speaker 1: that was good stuff. Speaking of your Eagles, Dylan back there.
Speaker 1: You know the guy that fucks this show up constantly.
Speaker 1: He die hard Giants fan. Yeah, let's go, Dylan. Are
Speaker 1: you gonna watch the game?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. The Super Bowl should be blacked out
Speaker 1: in New York and the Giant should be forced to
Speaker 1: sell their team. Agreed, They've proven they don't understand football. Listen,
Speaker 1: we've made owners sell their teams because of being racist.
Speaker 1: You're gonna tell me that getting rid of Barkley to
Speaker 1: keep Daniel Jones till later in the year, just cut him.
Speaker 1: You're saying that's not worse, that's egregious. Yep, I mean
Speaker 1: has nothing to do with being racist. It's just just
Speaker 1: stupidity on a level that you're like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'd rather my owner be racist than this fucking dumb
Speaker 1: You know what they should do. They should force the
Speaker 1: Giants and Jets to merge a merger. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: one team won three games and then the good team
Speaker 1: won five. Ah, not to mention they're both in Jersey.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Yeah, this is complete nonsense. Market doesn't deserve
Speaker 1: two teams. New Jersey deserves a team, the New Jersey
Speaker 1: little people crop dusters. And as long as Aaron Rodgers
Speaker 1: is the quarterback, the team isn't allowed to have a
Speaker 1: medical staff, no medical tent on the sideline, just a
Speaker 1: yurt where they can do ayahuasca. He was concussed it's
Speaker 1: mandatory that he heads to the yurt. I mean, let
Speaker 1: me talk about some Super Bowl facts here. You know,
Speaker 1: the New England Patriots have the most losses in Super
Speaker 1: Bowl history. Did not know it? Imagine how many Super
Speaker 1: Bowl wins they would have Josh Allen or their quarterback,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and telling me that Bill Belichick, with his
Speaker 1: amazing defenses and cheating, wouldn't have been able to string
Speaker 1: together a few more Super Bowl wins had they not
Speaker 1: had the greatest of all time, but instead Josh Allen.
Speaker 1: By the way, congrats to Bill Belichick. I respect that move,
Speaker 1: getting back into coaching at the University of North Carolina
Speaker 1: so that he could be closer to his college sophomore girlfriend.
Speaker 1: I didn't see it. I couldn't get through the joke
Speaker 1: without laughing speaking of Belichick the games on Fox, which
Speaker 1: means we're all gonna have to labor through. Tom Brady
Speaker 1: panicking did not sound like a moron. The goat the
Speaker 1: greatest of all time until the end of the game
Speaker 1: when we could all be like, all right, Patrick Mahomes
Speaker 1: is now the greatest of all time. No one's ever repeated,
Speaker 1: I'm excited for the halftime you Eddie Kendrick, Kendrick was
Speaker 1: he got sizza with him, right man? These lyrics are
Speaker 1: you know, known for being explicit. I'm worried. I'm terrified,
Speaker 1: you know, enjoying it with my children that it's not
Speaker 1: going to be family friendly.
Speaker 3: Do you think he'll sing not like us.
Speaker 1: Because Drake slapped him with a lawsuit trying to prevent
Speaker 1: him from playing his biggest hit. No, that was that
Speaker 1: was a bitch move, Drake, bitch move. No, of course
Speaker 1: he's gonna play it now. If he filed that in Canada,
Speaker 1: we won't recognize that in America. So certified lover boy,
Speaker 1: certified pedophile? What what? What? What? What get him? Kendrick?
Speaker 1: Do what you do? I don't like it. Sorry, it's
Speaker 1: just off topic, but on topic. I hate when comics, Uh,
Speaker 1: create a scenario that doesn't exist just so they can
Speaker 1: tell their joke. But I'm about to do that. Okay, okay.
Speaker 1: Imagine for a second if Kanye West were doing the
Speaker 1: halftime show and then mid performance, Taylor Swift comes out there,
Speaker 1: nudges him off stage, takes his microphone. He's like, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'll take care of it. I'll take over from here.
Speaker 1: That would be I mean, that would be the ultimate
Speaker 1: pay back, Like, look at this. I held onto this
Speaker 1: for so long, but oh that'd been good. You excited
Speaker 1: about the commercials? What are you? My wife? Am I
Speaker 1: excited about the commercials? Yeah? The commercials? Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I'm never excited about the commercials, but like, might do
Speaker 1: something cool. It's the only reason I try to watch
Speaker 1: the super Bowl live because it's infuriating to not fast
Speaker 1: forward to get back to the game if I'm like,
Speaker 1: if I'm back a half hour or something like that.
Speaker 1: So I watch. But it's such a waste of money,
Speaker 1: all this money, these commercials, just trying to figure out
Speaker 1: how to market to gen Z. We know how to
Speaker 1: market to gen Z. It's podcast. It's YouTube. You find
Speaker 1: the right YouTube channel that has a podcast on it
Speaker 1: hosted by a comedian in their late forties. Problem solved,
Speaker 1: and you save at least half the money you were
Speaker 1: gonna spend on a Super Bowl commercial. You give the
Speaker 1: money to me. Forget a thirty second spot. I'll ramble
Speaker 1: on for three and a half minutes. I'll even do
Speaker 1: the dumb disclaimer stuff at the end. Now I won't
Speaker 1: do like there's certain products I won't do. But for
Speaker 1: the most part, I'm a little pig, all right. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, you get more bang for your buck over here.
Speaker 1: I love All States commercials, you know, especially the ones
Speaker 1: with Andy Reid. Andy Reid underrated actor, extremely funny, almost
Speaker 1: funny enough to forget that all state pold coverage in
Speaker 1: the state of California and fucked over everyone who lost
Speaker 1: everything in the fires. I'm sure they'll have the game
Speaker 1: on whichever fem a tent super Bowl party they attend.
Speaker 1: Probably gonna have a great spread too, probably a seven
Speaker 1: layer dip from Kirkland's signature while the kids are crying
Speaker 1: saying when do we get to go home? Mommy? Never?
Speaker 1: Never All State. Imagine if companies this year said, oh,
Speaker 1: instead of putting a commercial out, we've decided to just
Speaker 1: donate this money to families in need in Alta. Dina. Wow,
Speaker 1: I'd support that company just putting it out there. Now.
Speaker 1: I know people are gonna be betting on this game,
Speaker 1: Lord knows I will. I'm gonna be in Vegas performing
Speaker 1: at the Cosmopolitan. Guys, come out. I'm there the night
Speaker 1: before Saturday night. Come to the show. I usually spend
Speaker 1: most of my money on the props. I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: doing silly bets just to make it interesting the whole
Speaker 1: way through the game. You know, first to score, last
Speaker 1: to score, how long the first field goal is going
Speaker 1: to be? All of those? Those are my favorites. But
Speaker 1: we need to check in with some experts. And since
Speaker 1: I don't know any experts, we'll just check in on
Speaker 1: the people that are in my circle see what their
Speaker 1: thoughts are on the big game. Let's check in on
Speaker 1: Philadelphia comedic legend. No disrespect to Eddie, I don't really
Speaker 1: consider you a Philly guy. My dad's from there, right,
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna check in Philly legend comedian Todd Glass.
Speaker 1: If anyone knows sports, it's comedian Todd Glass. Hold on,
Speaker 1: my February is wide open.
Speaker 2: I have some dates available in April and June if
Speaker 2: you need me. And also my summer's pretty much free too.
Speaker 1: I wish so much that that was just your outgoing message, Todd.
Speaker 1: As a legend in the Philadelphia area, you have to
Speaker 1: be so excited about this Super Bowl. Do you know
Speaker 1: who's playing in the Super Bowl? First and foremost? Well,
Speaker 1: I know that are playing. Are you a fan of
Speaker 1: the Eagles?
Speaker 2: Well, I'm not not a fan, but I don't really
Speaker 2: follow sports.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, I understood. So give me a score. Oh
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, can I have no fucking give me a score?
Speaker 1: Oh you're really gonna make me just get you even
Speaker 1: know what's You have to know what scores are to guess?
Speaker 1: I know, I know.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna say, is it points?
Speaker 1: They get? What they get? Thirty to forty? Is that? Yes,
Speaker 1: it's thirty to forty. They win thirty to forty. There's
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that. I love it. I'm gonna bet money.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna bet money the actual score ends thirty to
Speaker 1: forty and I'll let you know how that pans out.
Speaker 1: Oh man, thank you so much. All right, I will
Speaker 1: talk to you soon, Todd.
Speaker 2: Is your question when I got you on the phone
Speaker 2: real quick. Yeah, I feel like you know the old
Speaker 2: days that Don Ripples and Johnny Carson. Can you never
Speaker 2: invite me over your house for anything?
Speaker 1: Come over?
Speaker 2: Nah?
Speaker 1: You say that, but just what up going on? We'll
Speaker 1: talk about it off the air, but I'll put it
Speaker 1: out the closed. No, I'm talking for the last year.
Speaker 1: You never said, oh, we're having people over. You must
Speaker 1: have people over your house sometimes. I gotta get you
Speaker 1: over to the house. Bye. You heard it from Todd.
Speaker 1: Let's see. Let's see what my mom thinks. Let's check
Speaker 1: it on mom.
Speaker 2: Are you there?
Speaker 1: Hey? I need your Super Bowl prediction. I don't like.
Speaker 2: Either teams, but I'm sick. I'm tired of Kansas City winning.
Speaker 2: I wanted Buffalo to win.
Speaker 1: You wanted Buffalo to win, but you were wrong. Okay,
Speaker 1: And now who do you want to win the Super Bowl?
Speaker 2: I guess Philadelphia because I'm tired of the Chiefs winning.
Speaker 1: You like Taylor Swift though.
Speaker 2: No, No, I'm not a Taylor Swift fan at all.
Speaker 1: What about Patrick Mahomes? Patrick Mahomes?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: What about Andy Reid? No?
Speaker 2: See, Grandpa likes Dad likes all them, but I don't
Speaker 2: know you likes and Andy Reid. I don't like Andy Reid.
Speaker 1: All right, so you're you're you're all in on the Phillies.
Speaker 2: I'm going through.
Speaker 1: What what's the give me your give me your final score?
Speaker 2: Oh, Danielle, what are you doing? Don't don't do this
Speaker 2: to me? Score thirty two to to twenty seven?
Speaker 1: All right? That seems that seems fair. That's a that's
Speaker 1: an exciting game. Yeah, that's gonna that means that means
Speaker 1: hamm or the over. How much are you gonna bet
Speaker 1: on the game.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna bet anything.
Speaker 1: You don't gamble?
Speaker 2: I don't No.
Speaker 1: Is gambling wrong?
Speaker 2: I don't know gambling is wrong? Is gambling wrong to you?
Speaker 1: Not to me? I love it? It's so fun, all right.
Speaker 1: I gotta go good pick on the game? You're always
Speaker 1: is Is this a phone.
Speaker 2: Call for I thought you were FACETI isn't going to
Speaker 2: go on the air, is it?
Speaker 1: No? I gotta go bye?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Birds? What Jesus you know? We should check in on
Speaker 1: Let's check in on my father in law, see if
Speaker 1: Greg's got any hot tips. What's up, brother? Hey, Let's
Speaker 1: let's get your let's get your sports picks for the
Speaker 1: Super Bowl. I gotta get him on the air. Who
Speaker 1: you got, oh man? Uh got to be the Chiefs.
Speaker 1: Gotta be the Chiefs. Uh huh? High scoring? Are we
Speaker 1: taking the over?
Speaker 2: Uh that's a good one.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say no. But the Chiefs one.
Speaker 2: What's the spread? I haven't even seen it.
Speaker 1: Spread's got to be under three and a half, one
Speaker 1: and a half, one and a half. I said mine
Speaker 1: is under three and a half, and it's two and
Speaker 1: a half. It's one and a half. Now Chiefs are.
Speaker 2: One and a half point picks.
Speaker 1: I still think.
Speaker 2: They pull it off.
Speaker 1: I mean, as he said, you got to beat the
Speaker 1: champ to be the champ.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna go with the champs.
Speaker 1: All right, talk to you soon, Thanks, Daniel. Let's called
Speaker 1: Pete's wife. Oh she gots sing songs. H She'll sing
Speaker 1: this fight songs. That's all she does. Oh the dumbest
Speaker 1: the way they answered the phone.
Speaker 2: What's up?
Speaker 1: I just said, I'm calling. I'm calling Pete's wife. And
Speaker 1: then and then Eddie got so excited because he knows
Speaker 1: that you're gonna sing the fight songs? But who? First
Speaker 1: of all, who's playing in the super Bowl? Okay, I
Speaker 1: actually know this.
Speaker 2: It's the Chiefs and the Eagles.
Speaker 1: Uh huh, and didn't they were the ones that played
Speaker 1: last year. No, two years ago, a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: a couple of years ago.
Speaker 2: But yes, okay, fine, never do.
Speaker 1: You know where the super Bowl is being played?
Speaker 2: Nope, nope, not a clue.
Speaker 1: Tell me who's gonna win the super Bowl and what
Speaker 1: the score is going to be?
Speaker 2: Okay, I think it's gonna be the Eagles, and I
Speaker 2: think it's gonna be twenty one seventeen.
Speaker 1: Boring game. I don't know why those are random numbers.
Speaker 1: Any two point conversions attempted or completed in the game.
Speaker 1: These are prop bets that I'm gonna want to know about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I I'm not entirely sure what.
Speaker 1: That means, but yeah, there's probably gonna be one. Okay,
Speaker 1: what about a safety? Thinks there'll be a safety in
Speaker 1: the game. That's a big prop bet.
Speaker 2: That's like, yeah, there probably will be one of those.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, all right? Yeah? Sing sing the Chiefs fight song?
Speaker 1: Oh the Chiefs? Okay, Chiefs. That's not a song. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that is the stadium. Do you you hang
Speaker 1: out with Eddie enough? Do you actually know the Eagles
Speaker 1: fight song?
Speaker 2: I know that he always tweets like fly eagles fly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it, all right, that's it.
Speaker 3: Eagles fly.
Speaker 1: No, there's okay. And that's not what an eagle sounds
Speaker 1: like anyway.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: You know you never heard Eddie make Eddie make it,
Speaker 1: Eddie make an eagle noise?
Speaker 2: This awful animal.
Speaker 1: This is what I do for a living, all right, Sam,
Speaker 1: I gotta go. I tell you you want inside sports information.
Speaker 1: You know who you go to the French. Your call
Speaker 1: has been forwarded to voicemail. The person you're trying to
Speaker 1: reach is not available at the tone. Please record your message.
Speaker 1: He just texted me, I'm on the plane. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get him. He's gonna do it. I can get him
Speaker 1: to answer the phone. He was like refusing to answer. Pierre, Pierre,
Speaker 1: I know you're on a I know you're on a plane.
Speaker 1: Who's going to win the Super Bowl? Insults Kansas Kansas?
Speaker 1: All right, thank you by Jesus kensas Kansas, Kansas. The
Speaker 1: fact that he knew Kansas City was in good for him.
Speaker 1: I didn't see that coming. Well, it's clear that everyone
Speaker 1: in my circle is excited about the big the big game,
Speaker 1: the game that's so big it has to be called
Speaker 1: the Super the Super Big Game, the game that's so
Speaker 1: super it's big, and it's a bowl, the fifty ninth
Speaker 1: Super Big Game Bowl. I like it, Tasha.
Speaker 2: All Right.
Speaker 1: This segment of Tasha's Teasers Fan Edition is brought to
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Speaker 1: Pasha Well, I want to thank no One for being
Speaker 1: on the show today. I'm excited about the Super Bowl
Speaker 1: and I hope Travis pops the question. Let's get some
Speaker 1: plugs out of the way. Uh tossshow store dot com.
Speaker 1: Get some merch, guys. We should be having some new
Speaker 1: stuff dropping. Eddie's tour dates. Come see him and he'll
Speaker 1: be with me on my tour. Gonna be in Vegas
Speaker 1: this weekend. Of course, new dates are on sale now.
Speaker 1: We're gonna be in New York, New Brunswick, New Jersey, Carl.
Speaker 1: We're going to Kansas City, Omaha, somewhere in Middle America, Minneapolis,
Speaker 1: the Twin Cities, Saint Paul. We're gonna show you love Milwaukee.
Speaker 1: Gotta love Milwaukee, I really do. Milwaukee is a great city. Madison,
Speaker 1: you know you're wonderful. Chicago, that'll be fun too. I
Speaker 1: hope I don't get killed. Yeah, I know that happens
Speaker 1: every six minutes in Chicago. Someone just shot dead. All right,
Speaker 1: go to Daniel Tosh dot com for those Also, Hey, Carl,
Speaker 1: I believe I'm gonna leave you at home and head
Speaker 1: over to Lisbon and do a show there. I haven't
Speaker 1: officially decided, or maybe I have. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: just I just know that that that I don't speak Portuguese,
Speaker 1: and uh, I'm not going to attempt to whatever. Come
Speaker 1: to see me if you speak English and want to
Speaker 1: hear my nonsense, and you live over in Lisbon. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna to come. I'm gonna do a show. Eddie's been
Speaker 1: trying to write me jokes that I can use in Lisbon.
Speaker 1: What do you call a bird that lives in Lisbon? Portuguese? Portuguese?
Speaker 1: Come sorry side for our free plug hit the music
Speaker 1: all right? Wasn't ready for that? Like Enya or something
Speaker 1: that's interesting. Oh, today's free plug, guys, I couldn't be
Speaker 1: more happy to do this free plug. Today's free plug
Speaker 1: is for doctor Camerava. Now let me tell you something
Speaker 1: about this guy over in Encino, California. During the evacuation,
Speaker 1: started to feel pain in my tooth okay, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh no, now is not the time. I
Speaker 1: can't get to my dentist. Roads were closed, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm with my family. Days turned into weeks. Pain was
Speaker 1: starting to get excruciating. People are going through real stuff,
Speaker 1: and in my mind, I'm like, I don't really give
Speaker 1: a shit my tooth hirts. Okay, I can't get to
Speaker 1: my dentists because of road closures. I go to my
Speaker 1: wife's Dennis. We have separate dennists. Don't worry about that.
Speaker 1: We keep our assets separate. Okay, she can't afford my dentist.
Speaker 1: That's not as neither here nor there. Anyway. I go
Speaker 1: to her dentist. He's like, I don't do root canals.
Speaker 1: I'm like, great, now I showed up at a place
Speaker 1: and they can't even do it.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 1: Then I find out I call my dentist, say I
Speaker 1: have an X ray sent to him, and he's like,
Speaker 1: I don't do I don't do root canals either, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, what, Dennis, apparently don't do root canals. You
Speaker 1: go to a specialist. And that's where uh comra Vaugh
Speaker 1: comes in. Doctor Comravaugh. He he referred my dentist, refers
Speaker 1: me to this guy. He's like, go check this guy out. Now,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. This guy says, I don't
Speaker 1: have any openings tomorrow, but if something available opens up,
Speaker 1: i'll get you in. I'm like, God, that's nice enough.
Speaker 1: But he gets me in the day after. Okay, I
Speaker 1: show I've never had a root canal. I don't even
Speaker 1: know what happened. It's you know, your your nerve is
Speaker 1: dying and the tooth is dying, and they drill in.
Speaker 1: They drill out the nerve. So I'm nervous. You know,
Speaker 1: I've always heard by the way the movie uh Rad
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty seven BMX movie Bill Allen, there's a scene
Speaker 1: in there where Bill Allen is riding his bike with
Speaker 1: his little sister. He picks her up from school on
Speaker 1: his BMX bike. She stands on the back peg she's
Speaker 1: holding onto his back and he uh. He takes her
Speaker 1: through a sprinkler and gets his sister a little wet
Speaker 1: on the bike ride home, and then he says, huh, Wes,
Speaker 1: wasn't that wasn't that fun? And she says like a
Speaker 1: root canal?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: What was that? Fuck with my whole life? Until I
Speaker 1: was way older, I couldn't understand the way she said it,
Speaker 1: because I think she has a lollipop in her mind.
Speaker 1: I always thought she said like a rinkiner, and I
Speaker 1: never understood what that meant when she wrote her back there,
Speaker 1: Oh wasn't that fun? Wes like a rinkiner, like Richard?
Speaker 1: And then when I got much older, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's saying like a root canal. I shouldn't have brought
Speaker 1: that up during the free plug, but here we are,
Speaker 1: so anyway, here's the problem. You go in and he
Speaker 1: does a thorough exam and he's like, just so you know,
Speaker 1: finding where the problem is is a bit primitive, but
Speaker 1: the work I do to fix it is not. And
Speaker 1: I'm like okay. So he's basically starts tapping on my tea.
Speaker 1: He's like, which tooth is it? And I'm like, it's
Speaker 1: this one back here, and he's tapping on it. He's like,
Speaker 1: just raise your hand if you feel any discomfort, it
Speaker 1: doesn't hurt. And he's checking, by the way, four teeth away.
Speaker 1: He's like, I think it's this one. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: am I that bad that I don't know where the
Speaker 1: pain is? And he's doing all these different things to
Speaker 1: see if he can pinpoint yet, yes, this is the tooth.
Speaker 1: Then at one point he stops and he tells me.
Speaker 1: He goes, okay, I'm ninety five percent sure it's this tooth.
Speaker 1: You said it was this tooth three teeth away. I
Speaker 1: think it's this tooth. He goes, you can wait a
Speaker 1: couple weeks or a month until it gets really bad,
Speaker 1: and then it's going to be obvious to all of
Speaker 1: us which tooth it is. Where it's waking you up
Speaker 1: at night, blah blah blah, the pain is constant, or
Speaker 1: we can go forward at this And I was like,
Speaker 1: I really appreciated him just giving me numbers. Nobody ever
Speaker 1: does that. Nobody ever says ninety five percent sure, it's this.
Speaker 1: I just like that. I'm somebody that responded. Well. Then
Speaker 1: he's like, well, let me try one more test. And
Speaker 1: the only reason that he was so probably at ninety
Speaker 1: five is because I told him as a different one.
Speaker 1: But anyway, he does a final test and he goes,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm ninety nine percent sure, okay, jumped up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, go for it, buddy, fix it. And
Speaker 1: he does this thing. He numbs your mouth. By the way,
Speaker 1: I've never had a root canal, and I've always I've
Speaker 1: always been told it's horrible. I feel nothing. And he's
Speaker 1: drilling this tiny hole down there and he's he's, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, he's disinfecting it. He puts his thing on.
Speaker 1: He goes, this is a pain, but I'm gonna hold
Speaker 1: this thing on there. I don't know what it's doing,
Speaker 1: but it's some type of disinfecting thing. It's got to
Speaker 1: be on there for nine and a half minutes. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, that's that's long. That's a long time
Speaker 1: to hold your mouth open, you know. But he does
Speaker 1: it fine, and he's like, you know, normally when you
Speaker 1: get a root canal people then they put a crown
Speaker 1: over the top. Here's either My holes are so tiny
Speaker 1: and precise. You know, your your dentist may recommend this
Speaker 1: later to not to put some covering over, but you
Speaker 1: don't need to. I'll seal it up as when we
Speaker 1: come out, and you don't need anything. And sure enough,
Speaker 1: I'm in there. I'm in there for a while, hour,
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes for you know, oh long time does get
Speaker 1: to that ninety nine percent positive? And then he does
Speaker 1: the procedure and then I leave and he's like, you
Speaker 1: may feel discomfort for the first week, and you might
Speaker 1: want to stick to soft foods or eating on the
Speaker 1: other side of your mouth, but I didn't. I felt
Speaker 1: nothing the very next day. Just perfect. And I just
Speaker 1: love that because anytime you have something wrong with your body,
Speaker 1: you go to a doctor and they're like, oh, I
Speaker 1: think we should do this, and you're like, oh great,
Speaker 1: and then that doesn't fix it, and you come back
Speaker 1: six more times, and it's just nice to go to
Speaker 1: a place where guy's like, ah, here's the problem. Boom,
Speaker 1: fix it. You leave, You're not in pain anymore.
Speaker 2: Done?
Speaker 1: Yeah, doctor Comrava. I loved him. The guy was in
Speaker 1: and out. Fixed it, feel no pain, surgery felt nothing.
Speaker 1: And he even said to me, he goes out, just hey,
Speaker 1: if you know anybody that ever needs any procedure, you,
Speaker 1: you know, appreciate a recommendation. I'm like, well, look at
Speaker 1: he didn't know who I was. He called me the
Speaker 1: wrong name at one point, and I'm like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get special treatment. This guy has
Speaker 1: called me David all right. Anyway, he's a dentist that
Speaker 1: does root canals. Comrava's endodontric training and experience was provided.
Speaker 1: It's provided him with the ability to treat all types
Speaker 1: of endodontic cases. All cases performed by him are done
Speaker 1: so with the use of a surgical operating microscope. But
Speaker 1: don't call him to schedule a cleaning. His practice is
Speaker 1: limited to entodontics. That's doctor Comrava in Encino and listen,
Speaker 1: I didn't I'm not. You guys are like, oh, he's
Speaker 1: doing the free plug and he's gonna get something to
Speaker 1: return I'm not. I just wanted to reward the guy
Speaker 1: for doing great work. Hey, I got charged. I mean
Speaker 1: I've got good insurance, don't get me wrong, but there
Speaker 1: was still a copay thing or something. They hit me
Speaker 1: up for two hundred and fifty bucks. I paid that happily.
Speaker 1: You fix my fucking mouth. Have you ever seen an endodontist?
Speaker 1: I didn't even know the word enodontist existed before days
Speaker 1: free plug see next week