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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that wants to revitalize McDonald's playplaces

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Speaker 1: by replacing the balls and the ballpits with something even

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Speaker 1: more fun, introducing pickle pits. And when they're done, that's

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Speaker 1: not sweat on their foreheads. Your six year old is

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Speaker 1: just going to be a little briany for the long

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Speaker 1: home with Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird

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Speaker 1: loon stories around the globe, just like everyone else does,

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Speaker 1: except we've got a laser. Those other giggling gerkins just don't.

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Speaker 2: How bullpits smell better somehow.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go to your first laser story out of

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Speaker 1: my favorite your favorite Flora, Favorite Flora, I said, Flora Favorite.

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Speaker 1: I had more jokes, but it's okay if you want

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Speaker 1: to jump right to the post, I get it. Thirty

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Speaker 1: seven year old Justin Allen showed up at a grocery

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Speaker 1: store parking lot with a hammer the other day and

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Speaker 1: went to town on a white Honda Suvy smash so bash.

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Speaker 1: You know what, I've never ever done that to a car,

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Speaker 1: but I bet it feels good.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know they do those those charities where you

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Speaker 2: can like smash a car. Yes, this is probably some

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Speaker 2: revenge Yeah, this.

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Speaker 1: Guy broke out a window, then got inside and started

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Speaker 1: smashing the radio.

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Speaker 2: Wait did he listen to our show?

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Speaker 1: That's why nobody blames him for that. This craziness continued

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Speaker 1: to go on while people walked by with their carts

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Speaker 1: and they just all stared. Eventually, a cop showed up,

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Speaker 1: ordered him out of the vehicle at gunpoint and got

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Speaker 1: him into cuffs. Dang a gunpoint like he wouldn't stop.

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Speaker 2: I mean he had a kind of Yeah, that makes sense, So.

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Speaker 1: What was going on? Justin claimed his ex girlfriend had

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Speaker 1: left him for another guy and stole a bunch of

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Speaker 1: his stuff, including his medication. Oh wow. It's not clear

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Speaker 1: if any of that's actually true or not, but the

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Speaker 1: motive was clear. He was unhappy, jealous, and wanted revenge.

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Speaker 2: So so it was his ex girlfriend's car.

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Speaker 1: Then, well, kind of one issue. His girlfriend did have

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Speaker 1: a white SUV along with eight others in that same

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Speaker 1: parking line, So it turns out Justin beat up the

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Speaker 1: wrong car. Imagine her telling that story to her friends. Though, yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh I got an he got a different card. What

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Speaker 1: an idiot? The suv he smashed actually belonged to a

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Speaker 1: random grocery store. Employee who was inside the store working

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Speaker 1: when it happened. Good news is a local car dealership

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Speaker 1: is helping her out with the repairs. They also set

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Speaker 1: her up with a free rental. As for Justin, he's

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Speaker 1: now facing charges for burglary, possession of burglary tools, criminal mischief,

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Speaker 1: and drug possession. Oh and that okay, who would have

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Speaker 1: thought it could have played a role. This next Lazer

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Speaker 1: story is out of Los Angeles. The other day, a

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Speaker 1: woman named Joy to Sario ordered food delivery to her place,

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Speaker 1: and in her area, there's a robot service named Coco

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Speaker 1: that handles all the orders.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're so funny to watch. It kind of feels

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Speaker 2: like it's out of Wallly when you see him. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So, Joy actually watched the little bot wheel up onto

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Speaker 1: her property and placed the food on her doorstep and

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Speaker 1: attempts to scoop back to the restaurant, but unfortunately his

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Speaker 1: wheel got stuck on the gate, so instead of turning

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Speaker 1: onto the sidewalk, he turned into Joy's garden and went

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Speaker 1: a little crazy like nice flowers and stuff. Ring Camera

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Speaker 1: footage shows the Coco food bot uproot a whole bunch

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Speaker 1: of plants, trample some flowers, and then finally find an

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Speaker 1: exit and roll away. Joy could not believe what she saw,

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Speaker 1: and instead of just screaming out the window, she opened

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Speaker 1: her front door and began chasing after it.

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Speaker 2: Alogize, they're pretty big, but maybe you could pick it

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Speaker 2: up and put it on its side until someone could

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Speaker 2: come out.

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Speaker 1: Hostage lay into the side. She told the reporter. She

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Speaker 1: knows she looked like a total crazy person running after

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Speaker 1: a robot in the middle of the street and yelling

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Speaker 1: at it. She even attempted to block it and get

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Speaker 1: in its way, but it would just try to go

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Speaker 1: around her. Oh my gosh, smart robot. In the end,

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Speaker 1: Joy lost the battle, but won the war because she

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Speaker 1: complained to Coco's handlers and the company said they'd reimburse

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Speaker 1: her for her garden completely. They say they're making internal

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Speaker 1: changes now to ensure that it doesn't happen again. You're

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Speaker 1: now on the robot to come back and plant the seeds.

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Speaker 1: The one to do the work, little community service action

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Speaker 1: with the little best stop. This next laser story is

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Speaker 1: out of Transportation station Riding the bus has never really

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Speaker 1: been luxurious, but has it really gotten this bad? The

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Speaker 1: Department of Transportation in la is being mocked online for

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Speaker 1: a PSA that told people they're there's no pooping allowed

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Speaker 1: on city buses. That has to be said, What the heck?

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Speaker 2: I mean, people just don't understand that there's not a bathroom.

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Speaker 2: Is this a picture you're passing us here?

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Speaker 1: I'm showing you the ad where someone in it spots

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Speaker 1: a steaming poop emoji on the floor of a bus

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Speaker 1: and tries to report it online. There's also a graphic

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Speaker 1: down at the bottom that says no pooping. Okay.

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Speaker 2: I used to think that people must squat to get

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Speaker 2: this done, but then one time I saw it roll

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Speaker 2: out the bottom of somebody else pantlet.

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Speaker 1: Nobody needed to hear. If you want to know how

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Speaker 1: it happens, I don't know. That's probably more you get

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Speaker 1: the stories about your children to yourself. This isn't a

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Speaker 1: department store. Wherever it hacken. I don't want to see

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Speaker 1: too much information. But they shared six other ads on

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Speaker 1: their YouTube page. Each one encouraged people to report things

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Speaker 1: like smoking, drinking, playing loud music, and public defecation on

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Speaker 1: their buses. I mean it's good to report. Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: Local news station in LA reached out to ask if

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Speaker 1: pooping on buses is even common at all. The city

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Speaker 1: did not respond. You don't want to respond.

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Speaker 2: I can't answer that.

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Speaker 1: It's not going to be an answer you want to hear.

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Speaker 1: They did quickly yank all of the ads. They released

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Speaker 1: a statement the next day saying they weren't supposed to

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Speaker 1: be posted online. They were just for quote onboard viewing

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Speaker 1: to inform riders how to report crappy behavior. Right Department Transportation,

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Speaker 1: LA I got a sense of humor. Good for them.

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Speaker 1: This final laser story out of fashion, HQ. If you've

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Speaker 1: managed to keep your New Year's resolutions to lose, wait

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Speaker 1: this long. It's possible that your pants are sagging off

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Speaker 1: your hips. At this point you need a belt, or

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Speaker 1: maybe that's on purpose.

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Speaker 2: Duh. Nineties are back.

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Speaker 1: Jeff, because, according to Vogue magazine, twenty twenty six is

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Speaker 1: officially the year of the crack.

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Speaker 2: Hey, my daughter complains about it all the time. Middle

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Speaker 2: school boys apparently can't keep their pants up at all.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, it's just like when I was in

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Speaker 2: middle school.

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Speaker 1: But it's not just the boys, it's girls too, And

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Speaker 1: they are not talking about the drug crack. This is,

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Speaker 1: you know, backside cleavage. I think is bad. I mean

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Speaker 1: even this, if you haven't been paying attention to fashion runways,

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Speaker 1: high end designers are hyping a look featuring a little

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Speaker 1: plumber's crack, along with some celebrities like Kendall Jenner, Zoe Kravitz,

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Speaker 1: and Haley Bieber. Okay, yeah, they're all hot. That's all

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Speaker 1: hot crack, but this isn't brand new. Last spring, the

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Speaker 1: hot trend at Milan Fashion Week was low cut jeans

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Speaker 1: with a hint of plumbers crack, showing for both men

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Speaker 1: and women.

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Speaker 2: Because who doesn't want to make their body look longer.

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Speaker 1: Shorter, And apparently Vogue thinks it may be ready to

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Speaker 1: go mainstream. So where's the crack on this show? There

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Speaker 1: it is? Well, if you could see the low cut

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Speaker 1: cargo shorts on this little guy right now, you would

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Speaker 1: be all about it. Those cargo shorts would be sold out.

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Speaker 1: But that sound means Laser Stories has come to an

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Speaker 1: end of the day. We'll do it again, same time

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Speaker 1: on Fridays. Rook and Jeffrey in the Morning