WEBVTT - Vitamin D Advice Letters 0:00:01.120 --> 0:00:04.320 Good morning, good afternoon, good evening. You are tuned into 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:07.920 the Vitamin D podcast and I am your host, Dawn Day. 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:11.000 On this episode, we're switching it up a bit today. 0:00:11.039 --> 0:00:13.840 I'm digging in the email back from listeners just like 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:17.840 you who need advice on passion, purpose, career, love, you 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:20.600 name it. So if you need advice on any of 0:00:20.600 --> 0:00:22.639 these or more, I want you to go ahead and 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:26.120 submit your Vitamin D advice letters to Vitamin D at 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:29.280 dawn day speaks dot com. You know, we all have 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:31.960 questions and I need advice of the direction that we're 0:00:31.960 --> 0:00:35.080 going into. If there's any way I can shed light 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:37.720 into your life of what's going on, I want to 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:40.040 hear from you. So now let's dive in and see 0:00:40.080 --> 0:00:43.400 what y'all got to say. Get your viamin D right 0:00:43.880 --> 0:00:51.560 with me, and get excited about your lives subject career 0:00:51.600 --> 0:00:55.960 advancement or possibility of love. Dear Dawn, I'm a thirty 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.120 two year old man who hasn't been in a committed 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:01.400 relationship in a decade, not for looks, just for lack 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:03.960 of ability to put up with the normal dating riggam 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:06.440 role until I met her a few months ago, and 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:09.600 I've been falling madly for her since I've also been 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:11.640 in sales for the past ten years and have been 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:15.400 wildly unsuccessful in my career goals as well, until today 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:17.960 when my boss offered me a management position with about 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:22.040 a thirty percent pay increase one thousand miles away. So 0:01:22.080 --> 0:01:24.640 I find myself at a crossroads of love and success, 0:01:24.680 --> 0:01:27.640 and I'm wondering if you've got some advice or experience 0:01:27.680 --> 0:01:33.200 in that area. Well, I'll say this, thirty two. You 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:36.360 know that is a transformational age when you do find love, 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:38.920 and it is a time to think about the trajectory 0:01:39.000 --> 0:01:41.560 of your love life as well as your career. But 0:01:41.600 --> 0:01:44.600 I'm a firm believer and uh, what's yours will come 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:47.400 back to you. And I don't think there's a situation 0:01:47.440 --> 0:01:50.200 of your saying no to an opportunity. And let's think 0:01:50.240 --> 0:01:52.840 about it. You have been at your career for the 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:54.840 past ten years in the same way as you haven't 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.920 dated in ten years. They say that your love as 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:00.640 well as your career are both on an upper spiral 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:03.520 at the same time, because where you find your passion, 0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:05.520 you find your purpose. And when your purpose and your 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:09.360 passion reside, you'll see that love compliments that. So I say, 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:11.720 go ahead and move with purpose, and definitely have an 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:15.200 open conversation because who knows, it may work out that 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:17.480 she may actually want to come with you. But you'll 0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:20.280 know when it's right and you don't have to force things, 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:22.639 and you'll know that you don't have to sacrifice things. 0:02:22.720 --> 0:02:24.840 And when you think about love, and when you think 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:27.160 about living your best life, when you think about career, 0:02:27.440 --> 0:02:29.680 remember all of this is supposed to work for your 0:02:29.680 --> 0:02:33.000 greater good. So having to choose right now, I think 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:36.239 it's early. Think about it. You only met her a 0:02:36.280 --> 0:02:39.440 few months ago. I'm not saying to disregard it, but 0:02:39.600 --> 0:02:43.600 don't necessarily change the whole trajectory of your life, because again, 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.440 if it's going to work out, she will be there. 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:48.640 You know, we have a lot of things going on 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.360 now with long distance relationships. Is this something that's budding 0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:55.600 that you can see? So I'll say this, stick to 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:59.400 your path. You've waited to increase the thirty increase a 0:02:59.440 --> 0:03:02.920 thousands away. What's in a flight you pay for her 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.720 to come visit, go out there and visit her. Heck, 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:08.119 she may get a transition of a job to where 0:03:08.160 --> 0:03:12.119 you are. Follow your purpose, follow your passion, love will 0:03:12.160 --> 0:03:15.720 find you. Okay, that's what I got to say, all right, 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:19.400 So let's go on to the next letter subject, should 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:22.440 I start an only fans account? Dear John, twenty year 0:03:22.440 --> 0:03:25.720 old female here, So Corona has absolutely ruined my income, 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:28.520 as well as a few other personal things. I've tried 0:03:28.560 --> 0:03:31.120 selling clothes and getting in a job, but it's not working. 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:33.800 I've wanted to start an only fans account for a while, 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.640 and now I'm seriously getting close to doing so. Would 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:38.960 it hurt my future career if I didn't show my 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:42.080 face and use the fake name. I have broader aspirations 0:03:42.120 --> 0:03:44.880 to be a professional singer or dancer what my training 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.600 and education is in so I'm wondering that I'll have 0:03:47.680 --> 0:03:50.400 a hard time getting mainstream work if it ever gets out. 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.800 But also I kind of need the money. Thanks so much, well, 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:57.000 dear twenty eight year old female, The decision is yours 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:59.720 whether or not you want to create an only fans account. Now. 0:03:59.720 --> 0:04:01.960 I don't know if the rumor is true, but I 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:05.040 heard that Cardi b established her only fans account, not 0:04:05.120 --> 0:04:08.040 to mention that she is a mainstream artist and singer 0:04:08.080 --> 0:04:10.800 who is a well known stripper. Now I'm not here 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:14.080 to knock anyone's hustle. Now, me personally, in the career 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:16.440 that I am in, that's not something that I would do. 0:04:16.480 --> 0:04:18.680 But you have to do what works for you, and 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:21.520 you have to use your skills and to better yourself. 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.520 So if it's a matter of deciding how you're going 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:27.120 to eat, figure that out. But if it's going to 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:29.520 hander what you want to do with your life, that's 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:32.080 what you have to consider. So what is your brand? 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:35.719 Who are you? If your brand coincides with the fact, 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.520 if you're having a phoney fans account, do it. I 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:41.840 know myself and growing up, my brand has always been 0:04:41.880 --> 0:04:45.240 something that I've helped to curate. But I also know 0:04:45.320 --> 0:04:48.440 that it's not authenticity and the transparency and if that's 0:04:48.520 --> 0:04:51.480 your story that's going to go into your music. You 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:53.400 need these things now. When you come to a point 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.840 where you feel like you are sacrificing your morality of 0:04:56.880 --> 0:04:59.320 who you are, that's when it's off the table, and 0:04:59.400 --> 0:05:02.320 that's when it's off limits. But walking your truth. If 0:05:02.360 --> 0:05:05.760 you choose to get on only fans to get your money, 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:08.640 get your money yet, but used it strategically. Now, if 0:05:08.640 --> 0:05:10.880 your thought process is that if I cut off my head. 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:13.320 They won't know who I am if I changed my name, 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:16.240 you cannot bank on that. Don't do anything that you 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:18.960 would you want your face or your name attached to. 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:21.640 And that's also you going and living in your truth. 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:24.480 This is only a moment in season. But again, if 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.760 you have it where you are compromising your morals, your 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:31.400 values and who you are, don't do it. If not, honey, 0:05:31.440 --> 0:05:34.479 get your money. All right, let's go to this next letter, 0:05:35.320 --> 0:05:40.719 Subject seven waitress, bachelor and psychology. No motivation going nowhere 0:05:41.360 --> 0:05:44.280 there Dawn, Hello, I'm not sure what to write. I 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:46.800 will make it as short as I possibly can. I'm 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:49.480 a twenty seven year old female. Four years ago, my 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:52.880 life used to be perfect. I was driven, motivated, ambitious, 0:05:53.000 --> 0:05:55.440 and determined. At the time, I could say I was 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:58.160 the happiest I had ever been. Going to school was 0:05:58.240 --> 0:06:00.880 really my passion. I worked as a whole assistance, slowly 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.600 moved up to being a waitress. I worked and went 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:06.000 to school. During this time, I met a young man 0:06:06.160 --> 0:06:09.320 who would soon later become my boyfriend, and it was 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:12.279 the worst four years of my life. The relationship was 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:16.760 very abusive, very toxic, mentally draining. It destroyed me inside. 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:20.000 And out. I stopped doing everything I loved. I managed 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:22.880 to push myself to graduate just so I can finish, 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:25.400 and I reached a point where I wasn't intending any 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:28.479 of my classes. I just didn't care anymore. I ended 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:31.800 up leaving the relationship six months ago for good, and 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:34.640 I don't plan on going back. I feel I'm going 0:06:34.760 --> 0:06:37.760 on a stupid brand that doesn't make sense. I feel lost, 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:42.159 I feel hopeless and unmotivated. It's killing me inside. I 0:06:42.279 --> 0:06:44.960 wasted so much time and so much of my youth. 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:48.400 I feel old, and I feel with not being in school, 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:51.080 I have gotten dumber, or maybe it's just in my head. 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.800 I graduated with a bachelor in psychology, and I would 0:06:54.800 --> 0:06:57.799 like to do something with it, maybe start working somewhere 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.440 that goes hand in hand with my field, also go 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:04.200 back to school. However, I'm a negative person, especially now, 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.080 and I have no experience as a graduate student, and 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.120 I feel no one is going to accept me, not 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.960 even schools. I feel left up about all my opportunities 0:07:13.000 --> 0:07:16.360 for a stupid relationship with a person I'm not with anymore. 0:07:16.920 --> 0:07:20.920 Just need some advice, some guidance, something, some help. Please. 0:07:21.120 --> 0:07:24.080 I'm desperate. I'm tired of letting my past define me. 0:07:24.160 --> 0:07:26.640 But I need something. I used to go to a therapist, 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:29.040 but it started getting expensive, and I tried talking to 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:32.040 support of friends and family, but it goes nowhere. I'm 0:07:32.040 --> 0:07:35.080 complacent and stuck. I'm tired of being a child. I 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:37.680 want to be an adult and self improved. I want 0:07:37.760 --> 0:07:40.560 to have my life back together, at least somewhat different. 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:43.400 I've been working in the restaurant industry for four plus 0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:46.360 years and it's stressful and not worth the money. I 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:51.280 want to do something where I can help people. Any thoughts, well, 0:07:51.600 --> 0:07:54.440 twenty seven year old waitress. I get it that you 0:07:54.480 --> 0:07:57.800 want to help other people, but after reading this letter, 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:00.560 it sounds like the person you need to help yourself. 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:03.280 And here's the thing. I'm not gonna knock you. You 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:05.440 did take the first step. The fact that you're reaching 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:08.440 out and you're asking for advice is the first step 0:08:08.480 --> 0:08:10.800 to you getting the health that you need because you're 0:08:10.800 --> 0:08:14.440 admitting that there is something that's not right. Now. Here's 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:17.480 the thing we get in relationships, and I think sometimes 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:19.840 if we don't already know who we are, we can 0:08:19.880 --> 0:08:22.560 lose ourselves. And sometimes when you are with a partner 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:25.679 that compliments you you find that you find yourself together 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:30.040 and you build and you grow. So while this relationship 0:08:30.160 --> 0:08:33.080 did take you off a deterrence, you gotta understand that 0:08:33.120 --> 0:08:36.160 you've got something from it. You got to understand what 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:38.480 it is that you don't want. But now that you 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.079 realize what you don't want, now it's time to step 0:08:41.080 --> 0:08:43.760 in the realm of possibility what you do want. You're 0:08:43.760 --> 0:08:47.800 a smart girl. You've proven that going through graduate school 0:08:48.000 --> 0:08:51.080 that you have the motivation to get something started. But 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:53.640 now I need you to transfer the into the inspiration 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:57.440 to start what you finished. You study psychology, so that 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:00.480 goes on with thinking in the mindset. I need for 0:09:00.520 --> 0:09:02.439 you to sit down and do the work with yourself. 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:05.200 You can say that the therapy was too expensive, but 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:07.800 you said you're working to being an adult and you're 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:09.920 ready to step in that light. So it's time for 0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:11.960 you to put your big pantings on and make the 0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:14.840 investment of changing your life. Just like you make the 0:09:14.880 --> 0:09:17.559 investment and listen to the Vitamin D podcast. You need 0:09:17.600 --> 0:09:20.440 to outsource, whether that's busting a few more tables so 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:22.920 that you can be financially equipped to do what your 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:26.040 purpose is. Because I find a lot of times that 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:27.800 we're in a room and we don't understand that the 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:31.040 lights are off. But wait a minute, what happens when 0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:32.679 you're in the room and you know the lights are 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:35.120 on and yet the door is still locked. You're in 0:09:35.160 --> 0:09:37.480 a room right now, the lights are on and the 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:39.440 door is locked, and the way to get to the 0:09:39.520 --> 0:09:41.600 keys to get the help that you need to unlock 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:44.680 your potential. Did you catch what I said? The way 0:09:44.720 --> 0:09:46.440 to get out of the room is to grab the 0:09:46.520 --> 0:09:49.920 key to unlock the potential that's already in there. So 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:52.520 my advice would be for you as go back to 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:54.880 the therapy and get what you need. You need to 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.959 understand what got you attracted this kind of man, because 0:09:57.960 --> 0:10:00.439 it could be very well that block that's for fitting 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.080 you from excelling in your graduate career and your aspirations. 0:10:04.440 --> 0:10:07.680 Understand that how we do anything, it's how we do everything. 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:09.880 So if you look at a situation and how you're 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.240 proproaching something that's constantly an obstacle, whether it's going to 0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:15.520 be in your career, whether it's going to be in 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:18.040 your love life, whether it's going to be in just 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:21.360 everyday life, you will find something that will get in 0:10:21.400 --> 0:10:26.640 the way and start reintroducing that toxic mentality that starts 0:10:26.640 --> 0:10:30.520 to drain in your life that you receive from this relationship. Now, listen, 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:34.960 I believe in you. While you had the worst four 0:10:35.040 --> 0:10:37.679 years of your life, you got an experience that you 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:41.000 can never go back to. Okay, I want you to 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:44.000 be the best. So being the best is investing in 0:10:44.000 --> 0:10:46.120 your life. The best investment that you can make right 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:49.280 now is going to see a therapist because it's not 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:51.080 meant for you to figure it out on your own. 0:10:51.280 --> 0:10:53.520 It's not meant for you to have all things together, 0:10:53.720 --> 0:10:56.600 but it's meant for you to place peace by peace 0:10:56.800 --> 0:11:00.160 so that you can be who again. Okay, get out 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.679 there and live your best life. You're not a child, 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:05.680 you're an adult. It's time to self improve. But you 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:08.600 gotta put into work. All right, n let's go onto 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.840 this next letter subject, Should I give up my big 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:16.200 ambitions in life? Dear Dawn ninety email from the Netherlands 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:19.040 From a kid and onwards. I have always wanted to 0:11:19.080 --> 0:11:22.320 be rich and influential in the world to achieve big things. 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.520 Always had this thought because I sometimes felt pretty smart 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:28.120 compared to other kids, and thus that I could achieve 0:11:28.200 --> 0:11:30.440 big things. Then in high school, I still thought I 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.840 was smart, but didn't put into much work, which got 0:11:32.840 --> 0:11:34.959 me medium and sort of high grades when I was 0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:38.000 lucky or really interested in Still, I had the feeling 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:39.880 that if I worked hard enough in the end, i'd 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:42.520 achieve stuff. At the time, I also listened to a 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:45.480 lot of motivational stuff. This didn't help. I applied to 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:48.320 a good private university in the US, but looking back, 0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:50.400 I simply hadn't done enough for a chance to be 0:11:50.480 --> 0:11:52.920 able to get in there. Still got into a good 0:11:53.000 --> 0:11:56.080 university in my own country, not really my ideal placement though. 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:58.680 So now I've been in college for a year and 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:01.680 I enjoyed here very much and the people around me, 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:04.000 but I still feel like I'm so much less than 0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:06.800 I could be. Of course, the dream is becoming some 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:10.600 super young tech CEO, but that's almost impossible. The odds 0:12:10.640 --> 0:12:12.760 are so against me, and I really don't stand out 0:12:12.800 --> 0:12:15.720 in my coding or business classes. So I've been thinking 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:17.840 lately if I should just decide to give up that 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:20.360 thought of having to achieve great stuff in the tech field. 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:24.040 Should I instead settle for more mediocre life. The problem 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:25.880 is is that when I think about it, I seem 0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.040 to really think I'm better than that kind of life. 0:12:28.400 --> 0:12:30.520 I just never put enough work, and to be fair, 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:33.680 I never have. I have never actually showed that to myself. 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:36.640 And I like parties, I like socializing, et cetera. And 0:12:36.720 --> 0:12:39.640 I see that takes me farther from where I feel 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.760 my capability could lead me. I've always placed some value 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:44.760 on my knowledge, and if that's not an area in 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:47.840 my life where I shine, I don't really have anything else. 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:50.199 So now I'm thinking about if I should just stop 0:12:50.280 --> 0:12:54.080 trying and try to accept the mediocrity, or that I 0:12:54.120 --> 0:12:56.680 can somehow for the first time in my life get 0:12:56.760 --> 0:13:00.280 my ish together at my bay too hard on my solf? 0:13:00.559 --> 0:13:02.520 Is it okay to be normal when you feel deep 0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.400 down that you're destined for greatness? How do I get 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:08.080 myself to stop messing around? Am I not too young 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:10.839 to be worrying about this? Any help or thoughts you 0:13:10.840 --> 0:13:16.880 could provide would be appreciated. Child nineteen mail from Netherlands. 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:21.480 Here's what I'll say first and foremost before we delve 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:27.440 in anything. It is something to be said when you 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:32.120 know you have greatness on your life. When you said that, 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:34.920 you know that there is greatness on your life are 0:13:34.960 --> 0:13:38.760 greater for you and how you want to step into greatness. 0:13:39.240 --> 0:13:43.760 You have an obligation to fulfill that because you'll find 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:46.520 that if you try to do anything else, then you're 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:50.199 tapping into your greatest potential. You're setting yourself up for 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:54.000 a life of misery. And even just listening to the 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:56.840 brand of the Vitamin dep podcast, and what we're all 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.360 about here is that you have to live your best life. 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:03.720 And when you have greater on your life because and 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:05.560 you know this, because it came to you and you 0:14:05.559 --> 0:14:09.400 know there's more, you have to step up and fulfill it. 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:12.360 It's interesting when it's not a question of whether or 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:16.120 not you have the capability. It all matters is if 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.200 you're ready to apply it. So the fact that your 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.880 knowledge is your your strong suit. You gotta make a decision. 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:25.760 You know, people always say, well, how do you become 0:14:25.800 --> 0:14:27.840 successful or how do you do whatever you want to do? 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:30.600 And how how do you be the best you can be? 0:14:31.200 --> 0:14:36.040 It starts with a choice. See, there's not a question 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.560 of whether or not you get greatness inside of you. 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:41.760 The question is is whether you're ready to ignite it, 0:14:42.880 --> 0:14:46.160 and that means it's gonna come with discipline, yes, there's parties. 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:48.800 There will always be parties. But when when you step 0:14:48.840 --> 0:14:51.880 in the moment of now, it sounds like your time 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:54.560 is now to go into that tech field. You just 0:14:54.600 --> 0:14:56.400 said that you didn't put your all into it. And 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:58.960 when you're interested, well, guess what, You're not gonna be 0:14:59.080 --> 0:15:02.040 interested in every thing that comes your way. But if 0:15:02.080 --> 0:15:05.440 you want results, you gotta put in the work. Dreams 0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:10.000 don't work unless you do so. The idea of even 0:15:10.120 --> 0:15:13.800 entertaining the possibility of giving up is not an option. 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:17.120 When you are an avid listener of the Vitamin D 0:15:17.240 --> 0:15:19.880 podcast and when you talk about living your best life, 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:22.880 you know how many people would love to just have 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.720 a natural knack at coding, or you know, just to 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:29.160 be in the business classes. But you do. It's something 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.440 that is innately in yours soul. Please follow your passion 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.880 and just put the discipline in the work in. You know, 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:36.800 if I hadn't put in the discipline of work, I 0:15:36.800 --> 0:15:38.880 wouldn't be talking to you in the Vitamin D podcast. 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:40.400 You know how many times I had to stay up 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:42.320 late at night when I couldn't go out when I 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:45.320 wanted to help with friends because I made a choice 0:15:45.320 --> 0:15:47.320 that I have to do this so when it comes 0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:50.080 down to your success and achieving the big things that 0:15:50.160 --> 0:15:53.320 you want out of life, you gotta make the choice. 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:56.680 You don't always have to be the smartest person in 0:15:56.680 --> 0:15:59.160 the room. You just gotta be the person that knows 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.040 how to ask the questions so you're doing. The first 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:04.800 step is figure out should you give up and live 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:09.320 a mediocre life? No, you were not meant to be mediocre. 0:16:09.960 --> 0:16:13.520 You are extraordinary. There's greatness inside of you and it's 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.800 destined for that, So stop messing around. And no, you're 0:16:16.800 --> 0:16:19.040 not too young to be thinking about the outcome of 0:16:19.080 --> 0:16:22.280 your life. You are in college. Not was the decision 0:16:22.400 --> 0:16:25.560 or not was the opportunity to explore other things, to 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:28.080 figure out what you want and to take it seriously, 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.480 to start putting one ft in the front of the 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:33.000 other and decide what you want out of life. Because 0:16:33.040 --> 0:16:36.280 guess what, you can have whatever you want. You have 0:16:36.480 --> 0:16:39.560 enough time to make a decision. You have enough flexibility 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:41.680 to move now. I don't know if you step into 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.240 the realm, if you have children, you're in a relationship, 0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:48.880 But if you don't exercise your freedom and flexibility and 0:16:48.960 --> 0:16:51.440 move and bend and stretch, what you need to do 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.280 so that you can make your dreams a reality. Giving 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:57.360 it up is not an option right here. Being mediocre 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.480 is not an option. Here we said, not an okay life, 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:03.520 We set the best life. Go out there and tighten 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.919 your bootstraps, get into the classes that you want, stop 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:09.480 going to all these parties, and be the best that 0:17:09.560 --> 0:17:12.320 you can be. I appreciate you are listening from across 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.840 the world. Thank you very much. Hard Let's see what 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:21.840 we got up next? Subject? How do I overcome self loathing? Subject? 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:25.720 How do I overcome self a loathing? Dear Dahn, I'm 0:17:25.760 --> 0:17:27.960 a thirty six year old man living in a major 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:30.400 city in the US, and I've been shy for as 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:33.199 long as I can remember. I'm also tired of it. 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.159 I never really talked much to people. I'm lucky that 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:39.359 my job never involves much face to face interaction, but 0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:41.600 I want to gain courage to talk to women, to 0:17:41.680 --> 0:17:45.320 stop being so unconfident. I want to experience life and 0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:48.679 feel emotions more. Whenever I say hi to some stranger, 0:17:48.680 --> 0:17:51.960 it always sounds making low. I want to sound confident 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:57.000 and loud. Okay, thirty six year old man living a 0:17:57.000 --> 0:18:04.159 major city. Well, I appreciate you reach it out, and 0:18:04.200 --> 0:18:06.480 what kind of advice do you give someone that wants 0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:09.320 to be more confident to keep doing it? Just like 0:18:09.440 --> 0:18:12.160 with anything, you know, if you have to first start 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.680 off just look in the mirror and speaking to yourself. 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.800 You gotta look at yourself and say, I'm handsome, I'm great, 0:18:19.280 --> 0:18:22.040 let's have an amazing day, because that's the only thing. 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.280 It's not about whether or not you know you got it, 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.920 or whether or not you're interested in. Sometimes you gotta 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:29.160 get used to saying things. You know. I read this 0:18:29.240 --> 0:18:32.000 book one time a few years ago, and it's called 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:34.639 do You, and it talks about how your ear is 0:18:34.680 --> 0:18:37.680 like an embryo and what you feed in your ear 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:40.920 starts to grow. Sometimes you gotta do some self talk. 0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:43.119 You know. I have a tattoo in my mouth that 0:18:43.160 --> 0:18:46.160 says life. Because I speak life. I encourage your young 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:49.400 man to start speaking life in yourself because you've gotten 0:18:49.440 --> 0:18:51.160 to the point where you're sick and tired of being 0:18:51.200 --> 0:18:54.240 sick and tired, and you're gonna get to a point, 0:18:54.359 --> 0:18:57.119 especially nowaday and age, you have to have that reinteraction 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.360 and if you want a relationship, that means you're gonna 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:01.600 have to communicy. He but I need you to communicate 0:19:01.640 --> 0:19:04.880 with yourself first, and you know, you know that it's there, 0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:06.760 because you're at a point right now that you're not 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:09.679 sure whether or not you are able to speak up 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:11.920 for yourself. And you know what I love about all 0:19:11.960 --> 0:19:15.480 of this is that you recognize it. You can hear 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:19.159 it in yourself. Oftentimes I see that sometimes we have 0:19:19.200 --> 0:19:20.840 different things that we want to work on and we're 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:23.520 ashamed of it and we don't know how. The first 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:26.320 step is identifying and you've done that. Each day you 0:19:26.359 --> 0:19:29.000 wake up, Tell yourself that you you're the baddest brother 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:31.960 around town. Tell yourself that you're amazing. And if you 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:35.000 need to un list some of your friends and start 0:19:35.040 --> 0:19:37.360 working up on your pickup lines, go to a bar 0:19:37.440 --> 0:19:40.560 to yourself. Just compliment a woman on her shoes or hair. 0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:43.399 Women love to hear compliments all the time, and if 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:45.240 you can give that, that will come back to you. 0:19:45.680 --> 0:19:48.560 So keep stepping on the forefront. You're lucky right now 0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:50.640 that everything is shut down with COVID, so you don't 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:52.760 have to go into buildings face to face just yet. 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:57.280 But do technology step by step. Just start with a hello, 0:19:57.400 --> 0:20:00.480 start with a text, and then keep moving forward. Use 0:20:00.600 --> 0:20:03.560 the base in your voice, put your shoulders back and 0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:08.040