WEBVTT - Your Silver Linings

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<v Speaker 1>Who baby A baby. I need you, Oh hell, I

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<v Speaker 1>need you. What to Expect is a production of I

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<v Speaker 1>Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Murko, and I'm a

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<v Speaker 1>mom on a mission, a mission to help you know

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<v Speaker 1>what to expect every step of the way. So you're

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<v Speaker 1>not a fan of you are not alone. I think

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<v Speaker 1>we can all say that there has been a lot

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<v Speaker 1>not to love about the year. Many of us can't

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<v Speaker 1>wait to get behind us, and I'm not even going

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<v Speaker 1>to go there, because that's not why we're here today.

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<v Speaker 1>We are here to celebrate what we did love about,

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<v Speaker 1>the bright spots we've been able to find and hopefully

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<v Speaker 1>focus on during an otherwise super gloomy year. The little

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<v Speaker 1>things that meant a lot are silver linings. Earlier in

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<v Speaker 1>the year, we challenge moms to push back the clouds,

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<v Speaker 1>discover those silver linings peeking through, and share them on

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<v Speaker 1>what to expect. And now we're going to share some

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<v Speaker 1>of those with you and invite you to share your own.

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<v Speaker 1>I happen to be here with one of my silver linings. Emma.

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<v Speaker 1>I like to think I'm your greatest silver lining, but okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll take it you're one of them. Let's put it

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<v Speaker 1>that way. So this has been a hard year. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>it's not been great. Let's not sugarcoat it, but let's

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<v Speaker 1>talk about some of our silver linings. What were yours?

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<v Speaker 1>My silver lining is watching my two sons become friends

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<v Speaker 1>and get this bomb that they probably wouldn't have a

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<v Speaker 1>Seby would be in preschool, Lennox would be in school,

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<v Speaker 1>and they would have their own separate lives, but they

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<v Speaker 1>only have had each other, and they rely on each other,

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<v Speaker 1>and they learned from each other. And you know, obviously

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<v Speaker 1>they fight and they drive me easy. They learned for

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<v Speaker 1>the better and the worst, right, But you know, watching

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<v Speaker 1>that bond develop has been one of the most amazing

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<v Speaker 1>things I've ever witnessed in my life. And I am

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<v Speaker 1>so incredibly grateful to be not only seeing it, but

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<v Speaker 1>like living it and experiencing it, and you know, watching

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<v Speaker 1>this friendship blossom. And Lennox tells me literally every single

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<v Speaker 1>day he doesn't want to get married. He wants to

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<v Speaker 1>live an apartment in a modern house with his brother,

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<v Speaker 1>have bunk beds and play video games all day. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's literally like the movie Stepbrothers. And it kind of

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<v Speaker 1>freaks me out, Like, come on, guys, but you know what,

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<v Speaker 1>God bless, I love it. They're my silver lining for me.

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<v Speaker 1>The hard part of was actually, and people are surprised

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<v Speaker 1>to hear this because they think you're always on a plane.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so exhausting, But not being on the road and

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<v Speaker 1>being at home has been the hard part because when

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<v Speaker 1>I'm on the road, I get to be hugging thousands

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<v Speaker 1>of moms and snuggling thousands of babies. I can't imagine

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<v Speaker 1>your withdrawals right now. Mom, Oh, it's so hard. It's

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<v Speaker 1>so hard. And you know the virtual hugs that I

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<v Speaker 1>get when I do events virtually, you know, it's a

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<v Speaker 1>stop gap measure. It's way better than nothing at all.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's just not the same. But the funny thing

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<v Speaker 1>is that my silver lining has also been not being

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<v Speaker 1>on the road, and that's because no, I don't get

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<v Speaker 1>to hug thousands of moms, but I do get to

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<v Speaker 1>hug my grandson's more often than I otherwise would have,

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<v Speaker 1>and we get to have weekly family dinners, which we

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<v Speaker 1>never were able to do before. Of course, that means

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<v Speaker 1>I have to cook every week, So that's maybe not

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<v Speaker 1>maybe that's a cloud, and that's overlyances overligning for us,

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<v Speaker 1>though yeah, for sure. But I get to see so

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<v Speaker 1>much more of Lennox and Seby than I otherwise would,

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<v Speaker 1>and for me, that's about as good as it gets.

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<v Speaker 1>And I also one other perk is that I actually

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<v Speaker 1>had time, finally to do a podcast and do it

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<v Speaker 1>with you, because from the road it wouldn't be so easy. No,

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<v Speaker 1>So God bless that. So we heard from so many

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<v Speaker 1>moms in our What to Expect community about their silver linings,

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<v Speaker 1>and I just want to share some of the themes

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<v Speaker 1>because I think they're super relatable. Please, So, if you

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<v Speaker 1>were pregnant during the pandemic or you're still pregnant during

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<v Speaker 1>the pandemic, I feel like a lot of people got

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<v Speaker 1>pregnant during the pandemic. That that is true, that there's

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of silver linings up there. But some of

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<v Speaker 1>the things that they mentioned, it's funny I hadn't even

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<v Speaker 1>thought of. It's like not having to throw up at

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<v Speaker 1>the office, Like you get to throw up in the

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<v Speaker 1>comfort of your home. That's a plus, right, that is

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<v Speaker 1>a plus. Yeah, And you're not always running to the

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<v Speaker 1>bathroom to pee, or you don't. I mean, obviously you're

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<v Speaker 1>still running to your bathroom, but it's a lot closer,

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<v Speaker 1>and you don't have to explain why you're always getting

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<v Speaker 1>up to pe. You probably don't have to spill the

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<v Speaker 1>pregnancy beans as early because you're not in the office

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<v Speaker 1>and when you're on zoom meetings you only see the

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<v Speaker 1>top half. You don't have to spend a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>money on maternity clothes. Lots of moms mentioned that because

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have to buy the work maternity clothes, you

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<v Speaker 1>can just actually do your husband's sweatpants as you grow.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't have to fit yours hole and feed into

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<v Speaker 1>work shoes. You can be barefoot and pregnant. So when

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<v Speaker 1>I asked you about your solar linings on Facebook, so

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<v Speaker 1>many of you sent me pictures of your little bundles

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<v Speaker 1>of joy, and there are lots and lots of them.

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<v Speaker 1>Here are some pregnancy silver linings from what to expect

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<v Speaker 1>Community Moms was the best year because we created a baby.

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<v Speaker 1>She's still cooking, but we couldn't have asked for a

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<v Speaker 1>bigger blessing this year. Second that being able to spend

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<v Speaker 1>more time with my hubby before the baby arrives. This

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<v Speaker 1>is a great one, as funny as it sounds. Not

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<v Speaker 1>having to wear upra as these girls have gotten so

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<v Speaker 1>big during my pregnancy. Even my new bigger bras are uncomfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't worn abroad the entire pandemic. I'm not wearing

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<v Speaker 1>one right now. I can feel my boobs on my stomach.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what, I'm living it up. I feel your girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>For the record, I'm wearing a bra. You do wear

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<v Speaker 1>a bra, I don't. I do. I believe in support,

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<v Speaker 1>so Kelly said, not having to commit to events and

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<v Speaker 1>being able to relax more amen in sweats. Girlfriend, I

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<v Speaker 1>feel you. H then you don't have to cancel and

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<v Speaker 1>you don't want to go and you can just it's

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<v Speaker 1>just not happening. Great, you don't have to be the

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<v Speaker 1>party pooper, that's right. So we also heard from new

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<v Speaker 1>parents and young families who were thankful to have a

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<v Speaker 1>chance to bond as a family. Emma, you spoke a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit about that. But with new families, often baby visitors,

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<v Speaker 1>grandparents coming from everywhere around the country, family friends, everybody

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<v Speaker 1>wants a piece of the baby, and during the pandemic

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<v Speaker 1>that's been curtailed significantly, and that means fewer visitors. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the downside, but it also meant that you know, families

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<v Speaker 1>as a little unit got to bond um siblings had

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<v Speaker 1>a chance to bond with each other. With a new baby,

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't have to worry so much about visitors bearing

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<v Speaker 1>germs and unsolicited advice. You didn't have to clean up

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<v Speaker 1>after them, you didn't have to prepare food for them,

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't have to put on a bra for them.

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<v Speaker 1>That's right. And then with the beads sometimes came the good.

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<v Speaker 1>So families couldn't visit. But that also meant that in

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<v Speaker 1>the birthing room, if your mother and your mother in

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<v Speaker 1>law were both vying for a spot next to your

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<v Speaker 1>berthing bed, and you actually didn't want either one there,

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<v Speaker 1>or maybe you just wanted one of them. Either way,

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<v Speaker 1>nobody could be there except your partner. You know that's great.

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<v Speaker 1>You could be like I wanted you both there nobody's

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<v Speaker 1>but inside you're like, no, I want any of their

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<v Speaker 1>review in there. Definitely, Catherine from what to Expect community

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<v Speaker 1>message boards said, since the hospital didn't allow visitors the

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<v Speaker 1>first few days post birth, I felt like we were

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<v Speaker 1>in this little bubble, just the three of us, exhausted

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<v Speaker 1>yet in awe of this little miracle, fumbling around figuring

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<v Speaker 1>things out. As first time parents without others always taking over,

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<v Speaker 1>allowing us to actually learn and get to know each other.

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<v Speaker 1>I think this is such a silver lining because inevitably

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<v Speaker 1>family members, if they're at home with you, were in

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<v Speaker 1>the hospital room with you, they're gonna try to take over,

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<v Speaker 1>and that keeps you from learning, you know, the job

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<v Speaker 1>on the job. And we have some more examples of

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<v Speaker 1>family silver linings from my Facebook page. Kelly said the

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<v Speaker 1>time I got to spend with my husband and daughter,

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<v Speaker 1>especially since she's just two, and I feel lucky that

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<v Speaker 1>she has two full time parents. So sweet. Amanda said,

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<v Speaker 1>we got to save a lot of money on daycare.

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<v Speaker 1>Yep h, I proved to my office that we can

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<v Speaker 1>work remote. Most awesome is the amount of vacation time

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<v Speaker 1>I've been able to save. We were actually able to

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<v Speaker 1>go on a family isolation vacation this year. Oh, isolation vacation.

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<v Speaker 1>That's amazing. That's a new term for and Sophia said,

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<v Speaker 1>definitely the best year for us. Of course, that's before

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<v Speaker 1>all I'll broke loose. We heard a lot about moms

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<v Speaker 1>realizing their own strength and valuable family time you would

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<v Speaker 1>never have otherwise gotten. Kaala on Facebook said my second

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<v Speaker 1>was born, and I realized how strong I could be.

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<v Speaker 1>And I feel like I'm starting to embrace simplicity. Emma,

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<v Speaker 1>how about you? Are you embracing simplicity? I mean, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>definitely not as high maintenance as I was. Figuring a

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<v Speaker 1>sweatshirt and sweatpants with dirty hair. I used to to

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<v Speaker 1>think I'd need a manicure and pedicure. Not anymore, Angela said.

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<v Speaker 1>We gained so much more family time. I actually really

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<v Speaker 1>enjoyed the isolation. It brought back a lot of family

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<v Speaker 1>traditions that we all seem to overlook as time goes by.

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<v Speaker 1>I think we all learned how to communicate better. Good

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<v Speaker 1>for you, Angela, So Christie said, and she's one of

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<v Speaker 1>my military mom's hobby is shipping out starting in January

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<v Speaker 1>for a couple of years. A couple of years. Wow,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a lot. So thanks to COVID, we got to

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<v Speaker 1>spend so much more family time with him before he left.

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<v Speaker 1>This one makes me so happy, Like it's like I

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<v Speaker 1>actually am a little tary eyed like that to me

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<v Speaker 1>is just amazing. Her husband's not just upstairs in this office,

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<v Speaker 1>he's in another country. That's one strong mama woman, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Hearing these stories about silver linings really, you know, kind

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<v Speaker 1>of helps me embrace everything a little bit more um

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<v Speaker 1>and see the positive because you know, in the munday

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<v Speaker 1>and day to day basis, like when you're you know,

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<v Speaker 1>really struggling and the last thing you're thinking about is

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<v Speaker 1>silver linings, and I think it's important to stop and

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<v Speaker 1>be like, you know what, there are positives here and

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<v Speaker 1>we should be enjoying them and you know, thinking about

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<v Speaker 1>those and not just like all the negatives. So I

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<v Speaker 1>really appreciate this episode and I'm really feeling more empowered

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<v Speaker 1>than I was when we started. Well that's good. There's

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<v Speaker 1>another silver lining right there there. It is baby, And

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<v Speaker 1>one of my silver linings too, is that I've gotten

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<v Speaker 1>to spend more time on social media with my mom's

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<v Speaker 1>um that's where it's at. So I've embraced that. I've

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<v Speaker 1>gotten to see your babies grow and there's nothing like it.

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<v Speaker 1>So share your silver linings with us on what to

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<v Speaker 1>Expect message boards or on our social media using the

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<v Speaker 1>hashtag silver Linings challenge so we can keep the celebration

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<v Speaker 1>going as we close out and greet one. Because lots

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<v Speaker 1>of love and so many wishes for a healthy, safe

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<v Speaker 1>and very happy holiday season from Emma, Me and the

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<v Speaker 1>whole What to Expect family, Baby Love, My baby Love.

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<v Speaker 1>I need you, Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening.

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<v Speaker 1>Remember I'm always here for you. What to Expect is

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<v Speaker 1>always here for you. We're all in this together. For

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<v Speaker 1>more on what you heard on today's episodes, visit what

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<v Speaker 1>to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can also check

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<v Speaker 1>out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect

0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:43.480
<v Speaker 1>the First Year, and the What to Expect FP and

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<v Speaker 1>We want to hear from you. Connect with us on

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<v Speaker 1>our community message board or on our social media. You

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<v Speaker 1>can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma

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<v Speaker 1>Being w t E and of course at What to Expect.

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<v Speaker 1>Baby Love is performed by Riley Pieter. What to Expect

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<v Speaker 1>is a production of I Heart Radio. From more shows

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