1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:08,840 Speaker 1: Who baby A baby. I need you, Oh hell, I 2 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: need you. What to Expect is a production of I 3 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:18,239 Speaker 1: Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Murko, and I'm a 4 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: mom on a mission, a mission to help you know 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 1: what to expect every step of the way. So you're 6 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: not a fan of you are not alone. I think 7 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: we can all say that there has been a lot 8 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: not to love about the year. Many of us can't 9 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,080 Speaker 1: wait to get behind us, and I'm not even going 10 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,600 Speaker 1: to go there, because that's not why we're here today. 11 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: We are here to celebrate what we did love about, 12 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: the bright spots we've been able to find and hopefully 13 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: focus on during an otherwise super gloomy year. The little 14 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: things that meant a lot are silver linings. Earlier in 15 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: the year, we challenge moms to push back the clouds, 16 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:09,400 Speaker 1: discover those silver linings peeking through, and share them on 17 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: what to expect. And now we're going to share some 18 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 1: of those with you and invite you to share your own. 19 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 1: I happen to be here with one of my silver linings. Emma. 20 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,040 Speaker 1: I like to think I'm your greatest silver lining, but okay, 21 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 1: I'll take it you're one of them. Let's put it 22 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: that way. So this has been a hard year. Yeah, 23 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 1: it's not been great. Let's not sugarcoat it, but let's 24 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 1: talk about some of our silver linings. What were yours? 25 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 1: My silver lining is watching my two sons become friends 26 00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: and get this bomb that they probably wouldn't have a 27 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: Seby would be in preschool, Lennox would be in school, 28 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: and they would have their own separate lives, but they 29 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: only have had each other, and they rely on each other, 30 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: and they learned from each other. And you know, obviously 31 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,160 Speaker 1: they fight and they drive me easy. They learned for 32 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: the better and the worst, right, But you know, watching 33 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,920 Speaker 1: that bond develop has been one of the most amazing 34 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: things I've ever witnessed in my life. And I am 35 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: so incredibly grateful to be not only seeing it, but 36 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:17,639 Speaker 1: like living it and experiencing it, and you know, watching 37 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 1: this friendship blossom. And Lennox tells me literally every single 38 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 1: day he doesn't want to get married. He wants to 39 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: live an apartment in a modern house with his brother, 40 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 1: have bunk beds and play video games all day. And 41 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 1: that's literally like the movie Stepbrothers. And it kind of 42 00:02:31,639 --> 00:02:35,440 Speaker 1: freaks me out, Like, come on, guys, but you know what, 43 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: God bless, I love it. They're my silver lining for me. 44 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: The hard part of was actually, and people are surprised 45 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,400 Speaker 1: to hear this because they think you're always on a plane. 46 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: It's so exhausting, But not being on the road and 47 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: being at home has been the hard part because when 48 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: I'm on the road, I get to be hugging thousands 49 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: of moms and snuggling thousands of babies. I can't imagine 50 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: your withdrawals right now. Mom, Oh, it's so hard. It's 51 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: so hard. And you know the virtual hugs that I 52 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 1: get when I do events virtually, you know, it's a 53 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: stop gap measure. It's way better than nothing at all. 54 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 1: But it's just not the same. But the funny thing 55 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: is that my silver lining has also been not being 56 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: on the road, and that's because no, I don't get 57 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:26,120 Speaker 1: to hug thousands of moms, but I do get to 58 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,640 Speaker 1: hug my grandson's more often than I otherwise would have, 59 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: and we get to have weekly family dinners, which we 60 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: never were able to do before. Of course, that means 61 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,680 Speaker 1: I have to cook every week, So that's maybe not 62 00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 1: maybe that's a cloud, and that's overlyances overligning for us, 63 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 1: though yeah, for sure. But I get to see so 64 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: much more of Lennox and Seby than I otherwise would, 65 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 1: and for me, that's about as good as it gets. 66 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: And I also one other perk is that I actually 67 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: had time, finally to do a podcast and do it 68 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,000 Speaker 1: with you, because from the road it wouldn't be so easy. No, 69 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: So God bless that. So we heard from so many 70 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: moms in our What to Expect community about their silver linings, 71 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: and I just want to share some of the themes 72 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:18,359 Speaker 1: because I think they're super relatable. Please, So, if you 73 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,280 Speaker 1: were pregnant during the pandemic or you're still pregnant during 74 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,080 Speaker 1: the pandemic, I feel like a lot of people got 75 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:28,080 Speaker 1: pregnant during the pandemic. That that is true, that there's 76 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:32,120 Speaker 1: a lot of silver linings up there. But some of 77 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 1: the things that they mentioned, it's funny I hadn't even 78 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: thought of. It's like not having to throw up at 79 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: the office, Like you get to throw up in the 80 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: comfort of your home. That's a plus, right, that is 81 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,359 Speaker 1: a plus. Yeah, And you're not always running to the 82 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 1: bathroom to pee, or you don't. I mean, obviously you're 83 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,599 Speaker 1: still running to your bathroom, but it's a lot closer, 84 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: and you don't have to explain why you're always getting 85 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 1: up to pe. You probably don't have to spill the 86 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: pregnancy beans as early because you're not in the office 87 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,520 Speaker 1: and when you're on zoom meetings you only see the 88 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,760 Speaker 1: top half. You don't have to spend a lot of 89 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: money on maternity clothes. Lots of moms mentioned that because 90 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,279 Speaker 1: you don't have to buy the work maternity clothes, you 91 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 1: can just actually do your husband's sweatpants as you grow. 92 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: You don't have to fit yours hole and feed into 93 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: work shoes. You can be barefoot and pregnant. So when 94 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: I asked you about your solar linings on Facebook, so 95 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,479 Speaker 1: many of you sent me pictures of your little bundles 96 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:34,560 Speaker 1: of joy, and there are lots and lots of them. 97 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: Here are some pregnancy silver linings from what to expect 98 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: Community Moms was the best year because we created a baby. 99 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:46,600 Speaker 1: She's still cooking, but we couldn't have asked for a 100 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: bigger blessing this year. Second that being able to spend 101 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: more time with my hubby before the baby arrives. This 102 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: is a great one, as funny as it sounds. Not 103 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: having to wear upra as these girls have gotten so 104 00:06:04,279 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: big during my pregnancy. Even my new bigger bras are uncomfortable. 105 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,360 Speaker 1: I haven't worn abroad the entire pandemic. I'm not wearing 106 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,599 Speaker 1: one right now. I can feel my boobs on my stomach. 107 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: You know what, I'm living it up. I feel your girlfriend. 108 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: For the record, I'm wearing a bra. You do wear 109 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,400 Speaker 1: a bra, I don't. I do. I believe in support, 110 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,440 Speaker 1: so Kelly said, not having to commit to events and 111 00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:31,280 Speaker 1: being able to relax more amen in sweats. Girlfriend, I 112 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: feel you. H then you don't have to cancel and 113 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: you don't want to go and you can just it's 114 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,680 Speaker 1: just not happening. Great, you don't have to be the 115 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,760 Speaker 1: party pooper, that's right. So we also heard from new 116 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,479 Speaker 1: parents and young families who were thankful to have a 117 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: chance to bond as a family. Emma, you spoke a 118 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:52,720 Speaker 1: little bit about that. But with new families, often baby visitors, 119 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:57,799 Speaker 1: grandparents coming from everywhere around the country, family friends, everybody 120 00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 1: wants a piece of the baby, and during the pandemic 121 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:06,800 Speaker 1: that's been curtailed significantly, and that means fewer visitors. That's 122 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:10,560 Speaker 1: the downside, but it also meant that you know, families 123 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: as a little unit got to bond um siblings had 124 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: a chance to bond with each other. With a new baby, 125 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,960 Speaker 1: you didn't have to worry so much about visitors bearing 126 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 1: germs and unsolicited advice. You didn't have to clean up 127 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 1: after them, you didn't have to prepare food for them, 128 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 1: you didn't have to put on a bra for them. 129 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,360 Speaker 1: That's right. And then with the beads sometimes came the good. 130 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: So families couldn't visit. But that also meant that in 131 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: the birthing room, if your mother and your mother in 132 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: law were both vying for a spot next to your 133 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: berthing bed, and you actually didn't want either one there, 134 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,239 Speaker 1: or maybe you just wanted one of them. Either way, 135 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,000 Speaker 1: nobody could be there except your partner. You know that's great. 136 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: You could be like I wanted you both there nobody's 137 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,200 Speaker 1: but inside you're like, no, I want any of their 138 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,920 Speaker 1: review in there. Definitely, Catherine from what to Expect community 139 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 1: message boards said, since the hospital didn't allow visitors the 140 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 1: first few days post birth, I felt like we were 141 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: in this little bubble, just the three of us, exhausted 142 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: yet in awe of this little miracle, fumbling around figuring 143 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: things out. As first time parents without others always taking over, 144 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: allowing us to actually learn and get to know each other. 145 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: I think this is such a silver lining because inevitably 146 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,600 Speaker 1: family members, if they're at home with you, were in 147 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,800 Speaker 1: the hospital room with you, they're gonna try to take over, 148 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: and that keeps you from learning, you know, the job 149 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,920 Speaker 1: on the job. And we have some more examples of 150 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: family silver linings from my Facebook page. Kelly said the 151 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 1: time I got to spend with my husband and daughter, 152 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,560 Speaker 1: especially since she's just two, and I feel lucky that 153 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:01,199 Speaker 1: she has two full time parents. So sweet. Amanda said, 154 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: we got to save a lot of money on daycare. 155 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:08,760 Speaker 1: Yep h, I proved to my office that we can 156 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,760 Speaker 1: work remote. Most awesome is the amount of vacation time 157 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:15,720 Speaker 1: I've been able to save. We were actually able to 158 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:21,079 Speaker 1: go on a family isolation vacation this year. Oh, isolation vacation. 159 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,760 Speaker 1: That's amazing. That's a new term for and Sophia said, 160 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: definitely the best year for us. Of course, that's before 161 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,720 Speaker 1: all I'll broke loose. We heard a lot about moms 162 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,439 Speaker 1: realizing their own strength and valuable family time you would 163 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 1: never have otherwise gotten. Kaala on Facebook said my second 164 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,680 Speaker 1: was born, and I realized how strong I could be. 165 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: And I feel like I'm starting to embrace simplicity. Emma, 166 00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,640 Speaker 1: how about you? Are you embracing simplicity? I mean, I'm 167 00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:56,280 Speaker 1: definitely not as high maintenance as I was. Figuring a 168 00:09:56,440 --> 00:10:00,040 Speaker 1: sweatshirt and sweatpants with dirty hair. I used to to 169 00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:07,319 Speaker 1: think I'd need a manicure and pedicure. Not anymore, Angela said. 170 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:11,320 Speaker 1: We gained so much more family time. I actually really 171 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: enjoyed the isolation. It brought back a lot of family 172 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 1: traditions that we all seem to overlook as time goes by. 173 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: I think we all learned how to communicate better. Good 174 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: for you, Angela, So Christie said, and she's one of 175 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 1: my military mom's hobby is shipping out starting in January 176 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,439 Speaker 1: for a couple of years. A couple of years. Wow, 177 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: that's a lot. So thanks to COVID, we got to 178 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 1: spend so much more family time with him before he left. 179 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: This one makes me so happy, Like it's like I 180 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,120 Speaker 1: actually am a little tary eyed like that to me 181 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: is just amazing. Her husband's not just upstairs in this office, 182 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: he's in another country. That's one strong mama woman, you know. 183 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 1: Hearing these stories about silver linings really, you know, kind 184 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: of helps me embrace everything a little bit more um 185 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: and see the positive because you know, in the munday 186 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: and day to day basis, like when you're you know, 187 00:11:06,559 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: really struggling and the last thing you're thinking about is 188 00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 1: silver linings, and I think it's important to stop and 189 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: be like, you know what, there are positives here and 190 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: we should be enjoying them and you know, thinking about 191 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 1: those and not just like all the negatives. So I 192 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: really appreciate this episode and I'm really feeling more empowered 193 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: than I was when we started. Well that's good. There's 194 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: another silver lining right there there. It is baby, And 195 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: one of my silver linings too, is that I've gotten 196 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: to spend more time on social media with my mom's 197 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:40,440 Speaker 1: um that's where it's at. So I've embraced that. I've 198 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: gotten to see your babies grow and there's nothing like it. 199 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:47,400 Speaker 1: So share your silver linings with us on what to 200 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 1: Expect message boards or on our social media using the 201 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: hashtag silver Linings challenge so we can keep the celebration 202 00:11:54,800 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: going as we close out and greet one. Because lots 203 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: of love and so many wishes for a healthy, safe 204 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 1: and very happy holiday season from Emma, Me and the 205 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: whole What to Expect family, Baby Love, My baby Love. 206 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:23,280 Speaker 1: I need you, Oh how I need you. Thanks for listening. 207 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: Remember I'm always here for you. What to Expect is 208 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: always here for you. We're all in this together. For 209 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 1: more on what you heard on today's episodes, visit what 210 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,280 Speaker 1: to Expect dot com slash podcast. You can also check 211 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 1: out What to Expect when You're Expecting, What to Expect 212 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: the First Year, and the What to Expect FP and 213 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: We want to hear from you. Connect with us on 214 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,560 Speaker 1: our community message board or on our social media. You 215 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: can find me at Heidi Murkoff and Emma at Emma 216 00:12:54,559 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: Being w t E and of course at What to Expect. 217 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: Baby Love is performed by Riley Pieter. What to Expect 218 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio. From more shows 219 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 1: from I Heart Radio, check out the I Heart Radio app, 220 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 221 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:23,200 Speaker 1: In my Arms White Don't Just Stay Knija Knija Baby, 222 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: Lavo Baby below