WEBVTT - Wilmer Valderrama's New Role as Dad 0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:05.720 Welcome guys, because do what's popping is your girl al Mada. 0:00:05.840 --> 0:00:08.719 You already know and you're listening to exactly a Mada, 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:12.000 a production of My Heart Radio. Thank you, guys for 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:15.120 tuning in every Thursday. You already know. Every show is different. 0:00:15.400 --> 0:00:18.040 Every show I have something but something important to say, 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:19.360 at least to me, and I love the fact that 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:22.319 you'd like to listen. With that being said, as usual, 0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:25.079 don't forget to subscribe, don't forget to rate us five 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:28.000 stars yet more the five stars to sut because after 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:31.680 keep growing. He don't forget to share this podcast with 0:00:31.680 --> 0:00:34.800 every single person that you know, especially if the podcast 0:00:34.920 --> 0:00:37.400 hit home for you and you feel like you know what. 0:00:37.800 --> 0:00:39.720 I know a friend, I know a cousin, I know 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:42.440 somebody that needs to hear this. Mere. Don't be standing 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:46.520 with the podcast. Pass it down, bueno. With that being said, 0:00:47.000 --> 0:00:51.160 I'm super excited because today I have such an amazing guest. 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:55.200 He isn't He is an amazing actor, he's a producer, 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.720 He's Miami. Even though we haven't had the opportunity of 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:02.080 spending too much time together, I love the way that 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.200 we support each other. Some Latinos were super close to 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:08.480 our family. He's also the host of Essential Voices on 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:17.800 Michael podcast Network Familiar so to be. I mean, his 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:21.560 life has evolved and changed so much from when I 0:01:21.600 --> 0:01:24.520 first saw him on TV. I am so proud to 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:37.520 have today on exactly a matter. California's memento is the 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:46.760 the Rao pass ups then gott media off. You know, 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:48.840 I'm I'm off for the first time in like in 0:01:48.920 --> 0:01:50.720 like a while today, so I have a day to 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:53.600 just catch up on office stuff. And everything's good. You know, 0:01:53.640 --> 0:01:55.360 I'm very happy to be able to talk to you. 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:59.520 And I'm so proud of the show you've created, sparing 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:02.200 and how ended and how vulnerable you've been on your 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.360 show and uh and it's inspiring to see you go 0:02:05.440 --> 0:02:08.480 out there and live with with our culture first and 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.280 and following your heart and your humored And I'm just 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:13.280 so proud to be here with you, a man, Thank 0:02:13.280 --> 0:02:15.160 you so much. And you know what, I too, am 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:17.720 proud to know that we're both part of the same family, 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:24.120 a network that gave us an opportunity to celebrate, celebrate 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:26.560 who we are, give us a platform. For those that 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:29.560 haven't heard your podcast, what is it about? What's the vibe? 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:34.720 So I mean to just to give you a few 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:37.040 lines on it. At and the beginning of the pandemic, 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:39.639 you know, we you know, we were experiencing a lot 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:43.800 of uh dividing forces, right. A lot of our communities 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:45.560 were being left to kind of fight on their own. 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:47.400 And I think as soon as the pandemic happened, we 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:49.080 were kind of forced to look at one another and 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:52.240 really support each other on a community level. Um. I 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:53.920 think it woke up a lot of stuff. I mean 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:55.720 a lot of bad stuff and a lot of good 0:02:55.760 --> 0:02:57.720 stuff in society. I think that there's a lot of 0:02:57.800 --> 0:02:59.840 things that kind of came to surface during the pandemic 0:02:59.840 --> 0:03:02.600 that was that was really odd and really weird and 0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:05.240 really complicated to understand. And even the people that you 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.840 love the most, and you thought of the you know, 0:03:07.880 --> 0:03:11.399 the world of you know, when the moment of desperation 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.120 and pandemic and the uncertainty of what it really was 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:19.799 um happened, you know, different elements, different characters started waking 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:22.200 up in people. So I went to the grocery store 0:03:22.240 --> 0:03:25.040 and I saw my grocery store worker and said, hey, 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.120 how are you doing through this whole thing? And and 0:03:27.360 --> 0:03:29.560 she said, I'm doing okay, And I said, what, wait, 0:03:29.560 --> 0:03:31.480 we are you just okay? What's wrong? You know? And 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:33.959 she said people were so mean, you know, people were 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:36.640 just uh, you know, going off on them just because 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:39.200 they didn't have toilet paper, you know. And I think 0:03:39.240 --> 0:03:41.760 about that those moments where the camed food and the 0:03:41.800 --> 0:03:44.680 toilet paper was threatened to be you know, a low 0:03:44.880 --> 0:03:47.800 and uh and people were going crazy over their toilet paper. 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:50.520 You know, we're going off on on the grocery store 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:53.920 workers in a wheel way. And she she straight upset 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:56.120 to me that people would call the grocery store and 0:03:56.120 --> 0:03:57.520 she will pick up and be like, hey, do you 0:03:57.520 --> 0:03:59.920 guys have any toilet paper? You know, cam food, and 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:02.040 like what, we're running out, but we're going to get 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:05.160 another shipment tomorrow. And they'll be like, well, down, you 0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:07.040 don't have any toilet paper and be like we don't 0:04:07.040 --> 0:04:10.240 have toilet paper now. And this person was stored up 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:12.240 being like, well fuck you, I hope you get COVID 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:15.840 and died and and would hang up, you know. And 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:17.880 this was the type of stuff that our grocery store 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:22.239 workers were receiving while they by themselves, you know, also 0:04:22.320 --> 0:04:24.679 are receiving four or six hundred people at a time. 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:26.839 In a grocery store and then putting themselves in danger 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:28.599 and then having to go back to their families. So 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:30.800 the level of stress, I just I just thought that 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:34.000 we need a perspective. So I created a thing on 0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:37.839 Instagram that was ultimately like my six ft apart chats, 0:04:37.880 --> 0:04:39.960 you know, and it was just like having a conversation 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:42.599 with an essential worker. And that turned into the idea 0:04:42.680 --> 0:04:46.120 to start a podcast and really really elevate their contribution 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:49.800 who they were before, who they are now, and who 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:53.279 they will still be, you know, after this pandemic has gone. Yeah. 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:55.240 I love the fact that you thought about that because 0:04:55.240 --> 0:04:57.000 a lot of times, and I talked about all the 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:00.600 time to celebrities, artists and influencers, people that that are 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:03.080 blessed to have a platform. It's not just about the 0:05:03.120 --> 0:05:05.800 part of entertainment, which we're you know, we're blessed to 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:08.200 be good at what we do. That's great, but the 0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:11.000 fact that we also use our platforms to show light 0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:13.880 and bring light and awareness on things that are happening 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:16.839 in our community. We figure out ways to uplift our 0:05:16.880 --> 0:05:20.159 community or people. All these things overall, Um, I think 0:05:20.240 --> 0:05:23.200 that should really be appreciated because not all of us 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:25.839 do it, and it takes a lot of balls and 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:28.680 guts to do it. So I personally want to thank 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.080 you for your podcast and what you're doing for your community, 0:05:31.080 --> 0:05:35.160 for our community, for our fellow Latinos are Latin ex community. 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:38.320 We need more people like you. And with that being said, 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:48.200 I know that you the fact that you just recently 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.640 welcomed a baby girl really see that is how do 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:56.799 you feel? How has this? How was the before and after? 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.599 Like let's say, when you know, when she was pregnant. 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:00.560 Obviously you know that you knew that the it was there, 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:03.320 But now that you have the opportunity though let you 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:12.080 around you, how is that that process for you? You You know? 0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.479 It was It was really interesting. You know. I think 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:16.800 that you know, you go your whole life and you 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:19.640 know that at some point that's something that you will 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.960 most likely embarking, you know, having a family, having a home, 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.600 you know, and all that you know and as artists, 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:27.719 you know, I mean you you kind of devote so 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:30.039 much of yourself to you know, to try to make 0:06:30.120 --> 0:06:32.640 this happen, you know, and once you get some level 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:35.480 of stability and you feel like it's the time, it's time, 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:38.000 and you know, f y I. You know, you're never 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:40.400 really ready like people are like I'm ready for this. 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:42.599 Like the truth the matter is, you're never really prepared. 0:06:42.640 --> 0:06:46.560 And that's okay, because you know something wakes up in you. 0:06:46.560 --> 0:06:49.640 You know something, something is in you already that's ready 0:06:49.680 --> 0:06:52.440 to engage the moment that becomes a reality. And I 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:54.280 think that's that's what happened for me, you know, I 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:57.280 I I was very ready at some point, you know. 0:06:57.320 --> 0:06:58.960 I felt I felt like I had built my home 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:01.440 my mom. My mom didn't need anything, my dad didn't 0:07:01.480 --> 0:07:03.680 need anything. My sisters were cool, my nephew was going 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:05.279 up to be awesome, you know. And I just said 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:07.400 to myself, like it it's a really an exciting time 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:09.720 to to start a family, you know. But first you 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:12.200 have to find a partner. You gotta find someone that 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:15.760 shares the same values and and that you're like minded 0:07:15.840 --> 0:07:18.880 and you want pretty much the same thing, you know, 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:21.400 and that you're willing to fight to to defend it 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:23.880 and to keep it and to How about you guys 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:26.480 dating before you guys decided to get married, because once 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:30.800 you get married, you already know, yes, say we're locking 0:07:30.800 --> 0:07:32.760 it in. We're gonna have a family that's what it is. 0:07:32.800 --> 0:07:35.160 But that didn't I think that a lot of a 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:41.200 lot of people, your life must be perfect, everything is 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.320 great for you. You must find love all the time. 0:07:43.320 --> 0:07:46.000 And it's like, no, even for us, it's hard to 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:51.040 find the right person to go through the process. You know, Okay, 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:56.640 this is the one that it's It's it's funny that 0:07:56.720 --> 0:08:00.280 you say that, because you're right. I mean, people think like, oh, 0:08:00.360 --> 0:08:02.520 you're an artist, you know, so I mean you might 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.320 have you know, there's so many different and and the 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:07.560 truth is, in my in my life in twenty six 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:10.200 years of my career that I've only had like probably 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:14.560 a five serious relationships because you know, you you know, 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:17.960 you go to long periods of times where you know, 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:21.720 you kind of start, you know, you start kind of 0:08:21.720 --> 0:08:24.600 giving into what you think you probably should have, when 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.880 really you don't ever ask yourself what are your real needs? 0:08:28.040 --> 0:08:29.560 You know, what do you want from a partner? What 0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:31.160 do you really need from a partner? And I think 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.520 that's that was important for me as as I kind 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:36.800 of grew up and it started evolving and and understanding 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:38.760 that I was changing, right, I was changing, And I 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.760 feel like you needs started changing at some point, you know, 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:44.679 you become someone that that loves to be there for people, 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:48.160 you know, loves to show up for people. And then uh, 0:08:48.200 --> 0:08:51.160 in the process, you forget a little bit about the 0:08:51.200 --> 0:08:53.160 fact that you know, you got to show up for yourself, 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.280 and you never ask yourself, what do you need? What 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:56.720 do you want? What do you want today? What do 0:08:56.720 --> 0:08:58.920 you feel today? You know, because as soon as you 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.320 get up your service right, and as an artist, you 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:03.800 give yourself to your audience, you give yourself to your family, 0:09:03.840 --> 0:09:06.360 It gives you to everything and you in sometimes you're 0:09:06.360 --> 0:09:09.480 depleted yourself. Who gives back to you? Who feels back? 0:09:09.520 --> 0:09:14.080 And the fan love is awesome, right, Like, it's beautiful 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:17.920 to get a feedback when you provide entertainment and connected, 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:21.600 but there's not there there's a there's another level of 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:24.720 it where there's there's just a humanity side to the 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:28.080 artist that that sometimes it's forgotten, you know. So I 0:09:28.080 --> 0:09:30.800 started really searching about what is it that I really 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:32.320 need from a partner, what is it that I really 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.400 want at home? You know? And and I wanted someone 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:38.320 that also took care of me too, you know. So 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:39.720 it's so that was one of the things and I 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:43.360 think that when I met Amanda. Amanda was you know, 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:46.160 she was also a fixer, you know, so two fixers 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:49.640 in one and one relationship was interesting, you know, but 0:09:49.640 --> 0:09:51.280 but it was it was like, no, I'll do it, 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:52.960 No you do I know, I'll do it. No, I'll 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:54.839 do it, you know. And and it was really it 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.480 was kind of charming and sweet to see that we 0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:00.599 were both willing to um do you think said we 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:09.000 kind of haven't done for ourselves before. Now you have 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.319 to give yourself and spread and divide to dimples. I'm 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:15.760 being to give yourself as a father because obviously your 0:10:15.760 --> 0:10:18.360 baby girl is gonna need you, you know, she needs you. Obviously, 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:22.320 what can I send you? Still don't want to miss 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:25.160 out on those opportunities of seeing her, you know, grow 0:10:25.400 --> 0:10:29.920 her words, her first words, talking running. How do you 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:33.040 figure out time between the work, because you're very busy 0:10:33.320 --> 0:10:37.600 between work, filming, learning scripts, all through doing your podcast, 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:40.600 still being a great husband, taking care of your family. 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:42.800 So how do you divide your time now that your 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:46.560 father's Yeah, well so we we picked up priorities, right, 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:48.600 So it was really important. It's really important. And I 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:51.720 love that you're mentioning that because I think there's so 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:54.280 much is about balance, and so much is about setting 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.240 expectations and priorities, you know. And and I think the 0:10:57.440 --> 0:11:00.320 first one you are welcoming a child into your family. 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:03.400 I think it's important that you have that conversation, what 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:06.240 is going to be our contribution? What is going to 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:08.280 be our partnership? You know? And it really is a 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:10.679 hundred and a hundred, It's not fifty fifty. Man, It's 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.920 like you both gotta put in a hundred and and 0:11:14.080 --> 0:11:18.600 you gotta think about the things. You gotta foresee. You 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:21.720 gotta answer a question before he's asked, okay, And you 0:11:21.840 --> 0:11:25.160 gotta solve a problem before it is one, right. And 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.320 I think that in those types of conversations it really 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.440 takes partnership. You gotta be very vulner but you gotta 0:11:29.440 --> 0:11:32.320 bet you open. And I think you know, as a 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:36.640 male myself, right, as a man um you know, specifically 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:40.920 as a Latino man, there's certain expectations from you, you know, uh, 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:44.080 And and it's it's also important to understand that. But 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.240 you ask a very important question, which is like how 0:11:46.240 --> 0:11:48.160 do you find that time? How do you find that balance? 0:11:48.200 --> 0:11:50.400 You No matter I'm trying to I'm trying to figure 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:54.240 it out. Myself because you're doing it, and I'm like 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:57.200 and then I'm like, I'm taking already buen or as 0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:58.600 soon as I give birth, I have to go back 0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.680 to work. I can decate, wait too long? How do 0:12:01.720 --> 0:12:03.720 you do? But I will say I will tell you. 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:05.400 I mean, I'm out. I would say that, I would 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:07.200 say this, and I would offer the following. You know 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.679 that this is a very iconic moment for your life 0:12:11.480 --> 0:12:16.160 and that deserves, you know, you to be present and 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.640 be in the moment. You know, And a lot of 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:20.760 times we start thinking about, Okay, well I gotta get 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:22.240 back to work, you know, I gotta do the thing. 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:25.760 But you know, you should allow yourself to submerge yourself 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:27.920 in that experience because it really is a gift. It 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:30.720 really is a miracle and that happened and was giving 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.880 to you, and this baby's chose you, you know. And 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:37.320 then in those first couple of months, you know, you really, 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:39.800 you really want to connect, You want to run, to 0:12:39.920 --> 0:12:41.760 be in contemporary. You don't want to worry about too 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.480 much of the frequency. And that's one of the things 0:12:43.520 --> 0:12:46.440 that I really wanted for Amanda. I wanted her to 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.840 really focus on this experience, to go through the emotions 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:52.480 to really sit in with it and and really understand 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.360 that everything was going to be taken care of. And 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.640 you know, and as a man, you know, I mean 0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:59.920 this is sort of fellas sence you show to you know, 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:03.959 I gotta say, like if you have a friend or 0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.240 if you if you're one of your boys tells you, oh, well, 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:08.000 you know they have most of the work. You just 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.880 kind of have to be there. It's absolutely bullshit, okay, 0:13:10.960 --> 0:13:14.959 like thank you. If you're not, I'm gonna tell you something. 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:18.840 I'm doing something like a very very quickly I realized 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:22.040 that you got as a man, you gotta do what 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:26.160 she doesn't have to. And that is a lot, okay, 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:29.040 Like and also you got to think about you know, 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:32.520 your your woman. It's so focused on making sure this 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:36.000 child has you know, it's it's food, it's rest, you know, 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:40.280 she's whatever the baby needs. The woman is so devoted 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.480 to making sure that this child is is' is fed, 0:13:43.960 --> 0:13:47.800 that she forgets to eat herself, she forgets to drink 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:52.120 water herself, you know, and like in that moment, those 0:13:52.240 --> 0:13:54.320 little things that you can do just to show up 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:58.040 making sure that what she's breastfeeding or given the baby, 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:01.920 the bottle m that you are also giving her water, 0:14:02.080 --> 0:14:05.240 that you also, if you know, feeding her food, because 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:08.080 she will forget, she will skip meals. And that's and 0:14:08.120 --> 0:14:10.600 you know, and that's the most of didn't you see 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:13.200 didn't you see her a little bit different? A little 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:16.959 bit different once you saw how her body transformed and 0:14:17.080 --> 0:14:19.800 what she was willing to do, like because then it's 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:24.280 sometimes somebody physical. Men they don't have to go through it. 0:14:24.400 --> 0:14:27.000 They may not understand the fact that, by the way, 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:30.720 did she push Oh my gosh, she deserves you you 0:14:30.800 --> 0:14:34.720 better have given her flower people, because your body changes. 0:14:35.160 --> 0:14:38.760 She sacrifice everything. I'm on me that she opened like 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:42.200 a tunnel just to give birth to another humane. I 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:44.000 was there, I mean I saw the whole thing. I 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.560 mean I was there for supporting her, helping her, was 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:48.560 holding her hand. I was in one hand that she 0:14:48.640 --> 0:14:50.480 had her left I had her left leg and the 0:14:50.560 --> 0:14:53.560 other one the back of her neck, you know, And 0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:55.320 I you know, and I was coaching and I was 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:57.640 talking over the doctor, and I was overdoing it and 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.040 I was doing the most and it is but it 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.000 it is a magical thing. And it made me look 0:15:02.600 --> 0:15:04.880 at you know, first of all, I've always had the appreciation. 0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:07.360 My sister had a baby so like when she was 0:15:07.400 --> 0:15:10.120 like nineteen, you know, and and that that was a 0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:14.960 really uh predictable time. But I will say that seeing 0:15:14.960 --> 0:15:18.440 what my sister went through made me really appreciated witnessing 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:20.920 it myself with my woman and see my the birth 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:25.080 of my child and seeing what Amanda did for us. Um, 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:28.520 it just changed everything in my life, you know. I mean, 0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:31.880 it's it's absolutely unbelievable when to see her make it 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:34.840 look easy and not complain, just go through the emotions 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:38.000 and you know, and and it's hard. It's an emotional 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.280 thing and it's emotional endeavor and it's it's a journey. Um. 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.440 So I'm doing my best to try to do that. 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:45.480 And if you ever asked me to give you a 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:48.960 word of advice is to really embrace the moment. Just 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:51.680 sit through the moment, don't get don't be in a 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:54.480 hurry to get to any other phase of this. You know, 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:58.040 every moment, every day is gonna be perfect, as imperfect 0:15:58.040 --> 0:16:00.960 as it may be, because that's the you had to be, 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:04.360 you know, in order to to are right, for both 0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:06.560 of you to to be. So I think it's like 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.280 a it's a very important time. And the thing is 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:11.080 we forget because as hard as we're like, we gotta 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:12.800 get it to work. We gotta yeah back in the 0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.360 swing of things, you know, but give yourself that time 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:17.600 because you'll never have that time. No. And also as 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:19.960 a woman, and also as a woman, your body changes 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:22.680 you though you know, we are somewhat in my case, 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:26.200 somewhat sexualized. And I get it because sex cells. I 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.240 get that part. So everybody expect you automatically, especially as 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:31.400 a woman, as soon as you give birth, mym we 0:16:31.440 --> 0:16:33.320 need you to have a six passing three that everything 0:16:33.360 --> 0:16:35.680 together we need too tight and say, hold on, it 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:37.760 took me nine months to create a whole human being. 0:16:37.800 --> 0:16:40.640 Your whole body is changing, transforming. You can't expect me 0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:43.600 to go snap back, you know, within a mother or two. 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:46.840 But now talking about that, your father in a in 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:51.160 a modern age, right, what are your biggest fears? Because 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:55.040 I'm not gonna lie. I am blessed to have two girls. 0:16:55.120 --> 0:16:57.680 Battle I was hoping to have a boy, and part 0:16:57.720 --> 0:17:00.360 of it was because I wanted to raise one good 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:06.520 manner always said. But at the same time it was 0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.280 part of my own personal fears of knowing that for 0:17:09.440 --> 0:17:14.840 women is so much harder in this world. What are 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:18.439 your personal fears as a father this age now that 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.439 you have a baby girl, Well, I mean, look at 0:17:21.520 --> 0:17:24.919 you are an example, and you are a woman that 0:17:25.040 --> 0:17:29.600 has contributed to deliberation of a lot of the perception 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:35.399 and inheritance of oppression for women, and you gotta be 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:38.920 proud of that. So your daughters are going to be 0:17:38.920 --> 0:17:43.520 born in a world that's very much, very very different 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:47.520 than the one you did. And it's a it's don't 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:50.560 get twisted. I mean, this is a woman's world now officially. 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.840 You know, I see world you know, you're seeing world 0:17:53.960 --> 0:17:56.880 world leaders, you know, female world leader as you're seeing 0:17:57.280 --> 0:17:59.920 in television and film. Most of our leader and lead 0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:02.840 actresses are the ones leading the chart when it comes 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.800 to bugbusters and television, you know. So I think what 0:18:05.840 --> 0:18:09.960 I'm saying is that pop culturally, they're gonna be welcoming 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:12.760 into a world where they will have choices unlike the 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:16.840 ones that my sisters did. You know, there there there 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:20.439 will be a the you know, the sensitization of the 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.840 actual perception of what she is meant to be as 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:25.760 a woman, and she will have a choice. And I 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.399 so that's hopeful for me, that makes me excited. You know. 0:18:28.440 --> 0:18:31.320 I think that she will grow up with the ability 0:18:31.359 --> 0:18:33.879 and the freedom to learn any skills she wants, to 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:37.679 get any education she wants if she wants to, you know, 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:40.560 And I think you should, really, you should really feel 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:43.800 proud of what you have contributed about as a as 0:18:43.800 --> 0:18:46.920 a woman and as a voice, because you are also 0:18:47.000 --> 0:18:51.080 putting breaks in the road she will walk on, you know. 0:18:51.280 --> 0:18:54.560 And I think it's important to to to trust that 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.960 you know and uh and feel good about that. But 0:18:58.040 --> 0:18:59.879 all in all, you know, I mean, I agree. I 0:18:59.880 --> 0:19:01.520 I can't wait to have a sign as well. But 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:06.280 having a daughter first, Oh my god. Social media media, 0:19:06.560 --> 0:19:09.679 social media the music that we listen to now, Like okay, 0:19:09.720 --> 0:19:15.000 growing up, my mom would listen to Mettingle, listen that 0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:19.120 the lyrics were like and it was great. Now it's 0:19:19.160 --> 0:19:22.120 like I'm a bad bit and you know, I want 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:25.280 her mess back and I'm like, oh my god, what 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:32.640 of my babies gonna listen to? What's happening? Everything? Everything 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:34.840 has changed Now when your baby girl grows up and 0:19:34.880 --> 0:19:40.359 she's in her teenage years, what we all what Because 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:42.760 we are only fans now, I don't even know what's 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:46.120 gonna come out later. Oh god, I don't even don't 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:49.600 even say that. I don't even say that. Only fans 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.600 don't even see that. It's like, how do you prepare 0:19:52.680 --> 0:19:56.840 as a father now for what's to come? I have 0:19:57.000 --> 0:20:04.080 fears and I'm a woman as a mother, because you'll say, 0:19:59.720 --> 0:20:10.080 I'm from you know, the way that you grew up. Um, 0:20:10.080 --> 0:20:12.160 what are the some of the influences you think that 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:15.840 you will, you know, kind of give to your daughters 0:20:15.840 --> 0:20:18.960 that you learned or grew up with. You know, here's 0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:23.560 the thing, and and you have the same gift and 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:27.200 skill that I have as well, which is we've never forgotten, 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:30.120 no matter how long we've been in America, we've never 0:20:30.160 --> 0:20:36.760 forgotten the values of our culture. Okay, So as much 0:20:36.800 --> 0:20:41.000 as I fear the new inheritance of technology and whether 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:43.200 peers are going to be doing, I think that it's 0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:46.520 important that we continue to fight and drill, you know, 0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:50.080