1 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,000 Speaker 1: Now some of you may not know this, but I'm 2 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:16,680 Speaker 1: definitely alurged to fish. And a couple of years ago, 3 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 1: Paul saved my life when I drank me so soup. 4 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 1: I just had an itchy hand and like I was 5 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: having trouble breathing, but not like crazy nine one one. 6 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,680 Speaker 1: I just was in child's posting, I'm just in a minute, 7 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,239 Speaker 1: I'm having trouble breathing. He went to go get me 8 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 1: bena drill and there was a lot of fish in 9 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,080 Speaker 1: this Mi so soup, be needle flakes that were like 10 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: sort of concentrated into this sort of fish heroine, and 11 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 1: he went and got me a benage. By the time 12 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: he came back, I was unconscious for fifteen minutes. Long 13 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 1: story short, I ended up in the hospital for days, 14 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: EpiPens on adrenaline, almost died. My blood pressure was six 15 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: d over forty and I went in to add a 16 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: lactic shock and it was really very, very serious. And 17 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,360 Speaker 1: what's counterintuitive is that with allergies, the more you're exposed 18 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:12,400 Speaker 1: to the allergen with food allergies, the worst it is. 19 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,200 Speaker 1: Meaning it's not like being exposed to germs makes you 20 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,840 Speaker 1: more immune to germs. It means that the more you're 21 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: exposed to the allergy, and the worst it is. I 22 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: think it's just like more in your system or I 23 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: don't know the reason, but I know that that's the case. 24 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: So now it gives you anxiety that as you've had 25 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,880 Speaker 1: serious reactions, you're terrified to have another reaction because you've 26 00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:35,000 Speaker 1: heard that more exposure to the allergy makes it worse, okay, 27 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: because it seems like, oh, the more I'm exposed, my 28 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,120 Speaker 1: body will get used to it. That's sort of what 29 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:43,200 Speaker 1: I always thought as a kid growing up, and it's 30 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: not the case. And I've had every different type of 31 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: reaction to fish. Sometimes my face is blown up to 32 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,680 Speaker 1: twice the size. It looked like someone beat me up. 33 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 1: I've had my lips only just get gigantic. I've had 34 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,919 Speaker 1: bumps in my mouth, hives on my body. It's always different. 35 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:01,480 Speaker 1: Food allergy is really weird. It just has differ applications 36 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: each time in different symptoms. So brand and I go 37 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: to dinner in Costa Rica and we go to this 38 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: really nice restaurant Costa and Costa Rica is very vegetable forward. 39 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:17,239 Speaker 1: There's so many fresh vegetables that at this particular hotel, 40 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 1: they have a vegan menu section, So I order a 41 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: vegetable role, like a sushi vegetable role on the vegan section, 42 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,880 Speaker 1: and then I order what's called a summer roll, and 43 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 1: it's described as just a bunch of different vegetables, and 44 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: so I assume that that's that sort of rice paper 45 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: wrapped role that we see in the US that's called 46 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,040 Speaker 1: a summer roll, or it could sometimes be like a 47 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: spring roll where it's fried brand. My daughter says to 48 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: the waiter when he comes over, we have my mom's 49 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,080 Speaker 1: deathly allergic to fish. Server comes over after we've ordered 50 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: and confirms what we've ordered. Any points to the vegetable role, 51 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: and I say, it's the summer vegetable role and the 52 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: ingredients they're there, so we confirm, and it's under the 53 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: vegan menu, so that like a triple confirmation. So I 54 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 1: eat my first vegetable sushi roll and then they bring 55 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: me another sushi shaped roll and it has cash you 56 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: nuts and some greens. So there are often different types 57 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: of vegetarian roles, so I assume this is their version 58 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: of the summer roll. So I eat what I remember 59 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,560 Speaker 1: to be like three pieces of it, and then I 60 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,800 Speaker 1: see it sideways sort of open, you know, and you 61 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 1: see like there's the right side, and then you see 62 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: this sort of flat, open side, but you can see 63 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:28,760 Speaker 1: all the ingredients. And I see something white there that 64 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:31,000 Speaker 1: I think might be like hearts of palm or some 65 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: other vegetable because they have so many different types of 66 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:38,720 Speaker 1: vegetable there vegetables there, and it just looks like scallop like, 67 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: and I say, excuse me, what is this? And the 68 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: woman's like looks at me, and I'm like, is this fish? 69 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: And she looks stunned, like a stunned deer, and I'm like, 70 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,440 Speaker 1: is this fish? And so I said, what is in this? 71 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 1: Like I guess I didn't even realize my body like 72 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 1: screaming like in a restaurant, like what is that ass? 73 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,760 Speaker 1: And so she's like, well, there's vegetable, Like I think, 74 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 1: I know she's scared to tell me because she senses 75 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: something's wrong. So she's like, well, there are vegetable. I'm like, 76 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: what is in this rold? Is this fish? So she says, yes, 77 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: there's fish. I later the next day found out from 78 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: the chef that it was sea bass, which I never tried. Incidentally, 79 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: was delicious. This was like the best roll ever if 80 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: you ever go to the ant does get the Bethany 81 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 1: fish allergy sea bass roll so fucking good. But I'm like, 82 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: is it so all of a sudden brings like crying 83 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: you she's having panics. She wasn't with us the other time, 84 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: but she knows Mama almost died. I'm trying to remain 85 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,520 Speaker 1: calm because I don't want to freak her out. I 86 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 1: don't yet feel anything, but I know I've just eaten 87 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 1: like not just like I've sometimes eaten spinach. That's it, 88 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: like next to a someone's fish dish without realizing and 89 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 1: and and gone crazy itchy. So now I've eaten multiple 90 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: pieces of this at least three pieces of this fish. 91 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:50,919 Speaker 1: So I'm trying to remain calm. And I now have 92 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: the information I have, and I now still have the 93 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: manager Sergios information, so I text him immediately brands like 94 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: I'm calling Paul. She calls Paul, my fiance. He wants 95 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 1: to just keep us on the phone, make sure that 96 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:04,560 Speaker 1: I'm okay, and um, I now texta this guy's Sergio 97 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:06,680 Speaker 1: to say, I have we have a nine one one. 98 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 1: I need a doctor in the room right now. Okay, 99 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 1: But to be fair, I should have known ahead of 100 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,919 Speaker 1: time what the doctor's situation was, that there is a 101 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: doctor on site, that there's a hyatt. This is an 102 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: on DAWs that it's not like get a doctor from 103 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: near by. I don't know what I'm walking into now. 104 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 1: I don't know what level of a food allergy incident 105 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 1: I'm about to walk into. I can't remember how long 106 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: after the miso soup the incident was last time, and 107 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,799 Speaker 1: I almost died, but it wasn't immediately. Takes a minute 108 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,839 Speaker 1: for it sort of to get into your system. Maybe 109 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 1: not for like a peanut allergy person or sesamel, but 110 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,880 Speaker 1: for me, it takes a minute. And you're also your 111 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: adrenaline is pumping. You don't know what's actually going on 112 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:42,080 Speaker 1: with your body. And when I had the incident uh 113 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 1: in Boston with the miso soup, I just had an 114 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: itchy hand and I couldn't breathe. But it wasn't like 115 00:05:48,839 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 1: mass hysteria immediately from what I remember. So now we're 116 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: walking back to the room. The guy says, great, I'll 117 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: have a doctor there, and um, we get back to 118 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 1: the room and I'm just with brand the manager where 119 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: the doctor hasn't shown up at the room and I show, 120 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: you know, bring the EpiPen, and she's understandable, hysterical, you know, 121 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 1: because she's like, I don't I need an adult. I 122 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: don't think I could do this. So I've called the 123 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: front desk, like someone needs from the hotel, needs to 124 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,919 Speaker 1: get to my room now. So now I start to 125 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,480 Speaker 1: feel the itchiness in my throat and everywhere. And this 126 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 1: is where you know you need to have benegul liquid 127 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: benetle with you if you have an incident, and even 128 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:24,480 Speaker 1: if somebody else might have an incident. So long story longer, 129 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,159 Speaker 1: the doctor and the manager come to the room. She 130 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: gives me a shot in the ass of two different 131 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: medicines that are antihistamines, and gives me ben and drill 132 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:36,160 Speaker 1: knocks me out, dehydrates me for two days. This is 133 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 1: because I'm not in a full blown attack. And you 134 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,600 Speaker 1: don't want to take an EpiPen if you're not having 135 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: a real attack, because it's serious amounts of adrenaline and 136 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: you so you're trying to balance whether to jam the 137 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,160 Speaker 1: EpiPen because you've just eaten it, or whether a jam 138 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,279 Speaker 1: the epipe because you're having an incident. So the point 139 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:55,039 Speaker 1: I want to make with this long story is, even 140 00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 1: if you're not allergic to a food, you could step 141 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: on a scorpion. You could you could get bitten by 142 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:04,039 Speaker 1: a poisonous spider. I know somebody who stepped on a 143 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: stone fish which is poisonous and had to be rushed 144 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: to the hospital. Before you travel, particularly to another country, 145 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,880 Speaker 1: you need to have a medical plan. When I was 146 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,000 Speaker 1: pregnant seven and a half months, I went to St. 147 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,000 Speaker 1: Barts and in order to do so, my doctor and 148 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: I required a medical plan to go shoot my show 149 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: like you and this was like helicopters standing by in 150 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: case something went on because you had to go to 151 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: a hospital. I mean, I literally know of a that girl, 152 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: a girl who lost her leg in St. Barts and 153 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,280 Speaker 1: she was laying on the beach January one with no 154 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,560 Speaker 1: one helping her, with a dermatologist trying to keep her 155 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: leg together. I mean, ship goes down. This is because 156 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,200 Speaker 1: her leg got caught in like the motor of a boat. 157 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:49,480 Speaker 1: But shit goes down. When you're booking booking activities, make 158 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: sure that they're attached to a major company with real 159 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,920 Speaker 1: liability limit, with real liability insurance, and a real major 160 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: company attached. When you're going to stay at a hotel, 161 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: get a point contact person that you can text in 162 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: a minute who speaks the language, can get medical care 163 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 1: there right away. Also know what the medical care program 164 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 1: is at that hotel. Is there a doctor on site? 165 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 1: In this case, there was a doctor on site. I 166 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: don't know if that was because it was a holiday weekend. 167 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because there's always a doctor 168 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 1: on site. These are things that we need to know. 169 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,679 Speaker 1: And this particular doctor told me that for some weird reason, 170 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: she's always the one to deal with food allergies, like 171 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: it just happened to be lucky. But what if it 172 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: was dealing with something that wasn't a food allergy, there 173 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 1: was like a poisonous bug bite. We need to be neurotic. 174 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,559 Speaker 1: You need to be that neurotic mom ahead of time 175 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: and annoy everybody, And don't go there unless you have 176 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 1: a specific plan with a specific contact that you've proven 177 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 1: that you could get in touch with, and a moment's 178 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:47,319 Speaker 1: notice at two o'clock in the morning, that you understand 179 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 1: who the doctor's name is. All this ship it could 180 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:52,440 Speaker 1: have gone so sideways that it could literally be the 181 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: difference between life and death. So that's just I couldn't 182 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: wait to get back and rant on this because it's 183 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 1: so fucking important. Hi. Uh, this is an exciting show 184 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: because it is our one hundred episode and I am 185 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 1: celebrating with you and listener questions. So at Jada one 186 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,480 Speaker 1: to three one, j e d a one to three 187 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: one mom guilt. I can financially afford to leave the 188 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,960 Speaker 1: workforce but enjoy my work and the adult interaction. I 189 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,839 Speaker 1: know I am displaying a great work ethic for my kids, 190 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 1: but how can I feel less guilty or get more 191 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:35,679 Speaker 1: flexibility to really get quality time with them? Thank you? 192 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: That's an interesting question. I can financially afford to leave 193 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: the workforce but enjoy. So this is someone who's feeling 194 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,640 Speaker 1: a little bit guilty because they know that they don't 195 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: have to work, but they choose to work. But that 196 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: can absolutely be part of your identity as a woman. 197 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:55,520 Speaker 1: And you can be a great parent and uh a 198 00:09:55,640 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: great entrepreneur or mobile or co real person while having kids. 199 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: And I think you have to have a balance and 200 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: a structure in your life where you don't apologize for working, 201 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,600 Speaker 1: but you're careful to not blend the two lives. It's 202 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,720 Speaker 1: interesting because I have a book called Business is Personal. 203 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: But when I'm with my daughter, I try to be 204 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,120 Speaker 1: present with my daughter. And when I'm working, I try 205 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,960 Speaker 1: to really just work, and the twain don't really meet. 206 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: My daughter goes to school and that's when the action starts. 207 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: So I think it's important not to feel guilty and um. 208 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 1: The flexibility is about the balancing our time we were 209 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,439 Speaker 1: on the phone, the online shopping, the time sucks, the 210 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: staying up too late, the wasting time, the gossiping, the nonsense. 211 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,520 Speaker 1: We waste a lot of time doing things that we 212 00:10:41,559 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: don't need to. So if you're really efficient with your time, 213 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: you can absolutely have a well rounded career and be 214 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: a parent and thrive at both end. Set a great 215 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 1: example for your kids. Anonymous tell us about Paul. How 216 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: did you guys meet? Was it love at first sight? 217 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 1: When did you know you wanted to marry it? Paul? 218 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 1: I met uh on a dating app and we went out. 219 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:05,920 Speaker 1: He makes a joke. I wish he was here to 220 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:08,040 Speaker 1: tell it, and he will one day. He makes a 221 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 1: joke that Uh he asked me, oh, I know what 222 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: it was. We met on a dating app and we 223 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:17,520 Speaker 1: were messaging, and he lived in Boston. But I think 224 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: he sort of led on that he lived in New 225 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,079 Speaker 1: York because he had produced a movie in New York, 226 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,319 Speaker 1: so he made it like he was in New York 227 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:23,840 Speaker 1: all the time, because that might have taken him out 228 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 1: of the running. Definitely would have taken him out of 229 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 1: running if I thought he did not live in New York. 230 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 1: So then I just happened to be in Boston in 231 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 1: a women's conference when we were texting, and I said, 232 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: because he's an online dating guy, so I thought maybe 233 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,880 Speaker 1: he was dating a lot of different people. And I 234 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,319 Speaker 1: said this would be a great place to me women, 235 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,079 Speaker 1: because I think I was speaking in front of thousands 236 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,400 Speaker 1: of women. And he texted back and he said, yeah, 237 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:48,080 Speaker 1: I'm more of a one woman kind of guy, which 238 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 1: was like a little bit of a snap, and I 239 00:11:49,559 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 1: was like, Oh, I thought he must like me or something. 240 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: So then he asked me to get together. I thought 241 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,319 Speaker 1: it was on a weekend, um, for a drink, or 242 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,959 Speaker 1: he'd like to take me out for a drink. I 243 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 1: was in the depths of hell in my divorce, and 244 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,319 Speaker 1: without getting too into detail about that, because that's for 245 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 1: a different question, Um, there was zero flexibility in my time, 246 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 1: and I was really just on fumes, and I was 247 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,640 Speaker 1: either really working hard or really being present with my daughter, 248 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 1: and there was never a switch, and it was just 249 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: it was just a hard time. So I really was 250 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:24,240 Speaker 1: only ever meeting people if I didn't have my daughter. 251 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: And I gave him a time slot of two to 252 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,440 Speaker 1: four on a Monday afternoon, which is literally like the 253 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,640 Speaker 1: worst time slot in history. And I didn't even realize 254 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,439 Speaker 1: it. It It was just when I had time. It was 255 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,199 Speaker 1: probably after a work lunch or before something I was shooting, 256 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,920 Speaker 1: and he took it and we went out and we 257 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,719 Speaker 1: um and now knowing him, he doesn't really drink, and 258 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: I think I ordered a bloody Mary during the day 259 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 1: or something, and he ordered a vodka. And I laugh 260 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,400 Speaker 1: all the time and I'm like, oh, you got a 261 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: vodka in the afternoon, like he would never get a vodka. 262 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: And we had a really nice time and he was 263 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,839 Speaker 1: very cute and handsome and boyish, charm and sheepish as 264 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,439 Speaker 1: he is, and um, that's my type and I really 265 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: liked him, and um then we dated for a short time. 266 00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 1: We had a couple of times he gave me sting 267 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:09,440 Speaker 1: gorgeous flowers after our first night date, in which we 268 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,679 Speaker 1: went to multiple places, and again he's not a big 269 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: party or neither of mine, and the two of us 270 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,880 Speaker 1: trying to be hot steppers on a first date, like 271 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: going bar to bar and restaurant drinking like so not 272 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,360 Speaker 1: our personality, and it just went a little too fat 273 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: like not, I don't mean fast, like intimately, just the 274 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 1: nights went fast and the flowers and then I think 275 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 1: I just thought the game was moving too quickly and 276 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,800 Speaker 1: I just sort of just kind of put it on pause, 277 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 1: let's say. And nine months later we reconnected and I 278 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,520 Speaker 1: said something. He texted me, and I said something about 279 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 1: we live in separate cities and you know, would this 280 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,560 Speaker 1: be worth it or something? And he said, um, my 281 00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 1: intentions are clear. I could easily get a place in 282 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:55,440 Speaker 1: New York, like he came in to play second time around, 283 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 1: so um, and I fell I fell in love with him. 284 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,960 Speaker 1: He's a pretty incredible person. I do not deserve him 285 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: main fashion e stuff. What is your advice to your 286 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:11,520 Speaker 1: twenty five year old self? Oh my god, I would 287 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 1: never take it. How am I going to tell? I 288 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:17,640 Speaker 1: would say, don't stress, sleep more, worry less. You know. 289 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: I just you are a person who has a drive 290 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:23,240 Speaker 1: and you're just always trying to figure it out, and 291 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 1: I was hungry and I was poor, and I was 292 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: just going I would not have taken any of it 293 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: if that question happens a lot. But the truth is, 294 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 1: I just don't think I would have taken any of 295 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 1: Someone says, what would you give to your old stuff? 296 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 1: If you would take it, would have been to like 297 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: be a more relaxed person. Don't think you have to 298 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: have your whole life resolved in one Well maybe that's it. 299 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 1: That's actually true, that a successful relationship does not define 300 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 1: you and doesn't need to be resolved in your twenties, 301 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 1: your thirties, or even your forties. Like that is not 302 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: I hear my assistance in their twenties thinking like oh 303 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,440 Speaker 1: if I don't have a boyfriend or I'm not this, 304 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,440 Speaker 1: and I think, oh my god, you this we wasted 305 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 1: on the young that you really relationships just absolutely are 306 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 1: not any real indication at those ages. In my opinion, 307 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: at that age love L O V underscore L E 308 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 1: A H A. What do you think is the biggest 309 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 1: misconception about being on Real Housewives That the people are 310 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 1: friends and people may seem like friends, and people may 311 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: become friends, but that usually lasts for the duration of 312 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: success or the show, with some exceptions. Um that the 313 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 1: conflict is all real, and I mean it is real 314 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 1: in the moment. It's something that's bothering you, but it's 315 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 1: not something that you would ever care about in any 316 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 1: other sphere because you wouldn't be placed with these particular 317 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: people in any other sphere. So it's very strategically cast 318 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: that you're supposed to be around other people, not unlike 319 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 1: Survivor or The Apprentice, people are carefully chosen and put 320 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: together and folded into a recipe. So you're selected and 321 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:04,120 Speaker 1: paired with different people that make a good combination for conflict. 322 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: Nobody's making these shows, so we all get along and 323 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 1: become best friends. So the conflict is not real because 324 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: the original relationship is not based on reality, and you're 325 00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: fighting about things you do not give a shit about 326 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,640 Speaker 1: and would never discuss in your other life. You would 327 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: never speak to these people again. But you're forced to 328 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 1: be with these people. So therefore the conflict lives on 329 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: your disbelief that you're spending time with these people sometimes 330 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: is shocking, and then you don't want to, and then 331 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,440 Speaker 1: you have to, and then so you argue about the 332 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,760 Speaker 1: thing you argued about last year, but but exponentially, so 333 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: that's sort of that whole recipe. Anonymous is cheating a 334 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: deal breaker. I haven't been cheated on very much. I 335 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 1: think I can only remember one time in my life 336 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: one other maybe time that I suspected it, but it 337 00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: wasn't that serious of a relationship. I was very young too, um. 338 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: And I've one time where I was blindsided. Uh, And 339 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 1: I did forgive him, and I don't know why. I 340 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 1: think it was because he had experienced death and his 341 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: family right before that, so it seemed like some sort 342 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:10,800 Speaker 1: of excuse, which makes no sense to go cheat with 343 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 1: someone that he had had a history with. Some maybe 344 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:16,720 Speaker 1: that person seemed attractive, but I'm not black and white 345 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,119 Speaker 1: about that. And the reason is because I see people 346 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: who go through issues in their lives. I see people 347 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 1: who go through emotional pain, who have their own personal 348 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:31,040 Speaker 1: insecurities and issues. Um. I see people who abandon each 349 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,560 Speaker 1: other in times of need, meaning people if both people 350 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: are going through something and no one can water the 351 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,880 Speaker 1: other person when they're on fire, things could happen. I mean, 352 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:42,760 Speaker 1: that's why you have to nurture your relationship and say 353 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,199 Speaker 1: checked in and try even when the ship hits the 354 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,320 Speaker 1: fans to get back on track. But the only reason 355 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 1: I don't say it would be a deal breakup for 356 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 1: everybody is that, you know, the game starts to move quickly, 357 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 1: and as I see, people really start to uh not 358 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 1: take care of each other and lose focus. I have 359 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: friends whose spouses go out too much. Maybe the one 360 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,160 Speaker 1: partner doesn't want to have sex as much to the other. 361 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 1: Maybe one person likes to have fun and the other 362 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 1: one's to homebody that seemed fun in the beginning, or 363 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:12,399 Speaker 1: they both like to go out in the beginning and 364 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,760 Speaker 1: someone becomes who they really are later. I mean, a 365 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 1: lot of things happen um someone's not getting their emotional 366 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: needs met, and a stranger seems like they're gonna give 367 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,639 Speaker 1: you all this attention. There are ten thousand reasons that 368 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 1: I'm not an expert on, but I don't know that 369 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,439 Speaker 1: I could really ever get over it because of a 370 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 1: trail is h would be It would be very hard 371 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: to let go of the anger. But I don't want 372 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 1: to tell people to not forgive if you're in one 373 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:50,199 Speaker 1: of those categories at L Manning Peasy, what is the 374 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:52,240 Speaker 1: best parenting advice you're ned to give to another mom 375 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 1: of an eleven year old girl who's an only child. 376 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,399 Speaker 1: My daughter loves being an only child. She gets me 377 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 1: all to herself. It is such a special relationship and 378 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:04,439 Speaker 1: you get to run and gun and do things in 379 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: a way that people have more than one child can't. 380 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: You're thinking about two people's opinions. Does this person want 381 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: to do it? Does that person want to do it? 382 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 1: Hotel rooms can become challenging things. I mean, I share 383 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 1: a hotel room with my daughter, and it gets more 384 00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:19,440 Speaker 1: expensive when it's more kids. Um. And so the parenting 385 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 1: advice I have is to really value experiences way more 386 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: than stuff. The experiences, the memories. My daughter loves knowing 387 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,359 Speaker 1: we're going to l a, We're gonna go to that 388 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 1: cake decorating place because we've gotten some gone so many times. Oh, 389 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,159 Speaker 1: Gingerbread University a place over Christmas where we we just 390 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,760 Speaker 1: make gingerbread houses and it's like baby ish, but we 391 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: love it. Going to Rockefeller Center every year. Experiences, pumpkin 392 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: picking experiences are just so meaningful. Those are the things 393 00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 1: you really remember. You know, a pair of sneakers or 394 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: an iPad is not something your child is going to remember. 395 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,720 Speaker 1: But these experiences and these memories are the things that 396 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 1: really keep me going. And we just we love it. 397 00:19:56,440 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 1: Baking together, cooking together, you know, going to the Hibachi restaurant, 398 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 1: like just rituals. Kids love rituals and girls that age 399 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 1: love rituals. But yeah, I love having an all the child. Honestly, 400 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,600 Speaker 1: it's been the greatest joy of my life, bar none. 401 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,800 Speaker 1: Nothing can come close. It's my She's my life. And 402 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: what you put into your kids you get out of them. 403 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:19,680 Speaker 1: So it's been extraordinary at burned ran b r N 404 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,040 Speaker 1: D E r o N. How can this crisis and 405 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,479 Speaker 1: the importance be explained to Americans who are not of 406 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,959 Speaker 1: Ukrainian or Eastern European descent. Not enough people are up 407 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,399 Speaker 1: in arms about this conflict. As Polish American, I know 408 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,040 Speaker 1: how bad this can be, and I'm so grateful for 409 00:20:32,119 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: the actions you've taken to assist the refugee situation. I 410 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 1: just wish more individuals in US would take a greater stand. Listen, 411 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 1: it's like anything else. Certain charities. A cancer charity is 412 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,479 Speaker 1: important to one person, a cleft palate charity is important 413 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,480 Speaker 1: to another person, and UH and autism charity is important 414 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,479 Speaker 1: to another person. It doesn't mean all of these issues 415 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:55,080 Speaker 1: are not equally important. They're equally important. Different people are 416 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: passionate about different things, and it's hard to make other 417 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 1: people get passionate and awareness and education is important. Uh. 418 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 1: Media obviously controls the message. I mean, I told my 419 00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: daughter that there was you live in this house and 420 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,000 Speaker 1: someone wants to come in and take your house. Is 421 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: effectively how I told her that you live in this 422 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,160 Speaker 1: house and someone wants to come and take your house 423 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: and move you out of it. And are you staying 424 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,359 Speaker 1: and fighting for it or are you just going because 425 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 1: you're scared? And it's a big thing, and the resistance 426 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 1: has been huge, and it's such an inspirational like David 427 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:32,159 Speaker 1: Goliath story for kids about just like the pride. I mean, 428 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 1: none of us knew the pride of Ukrainians, the love 429 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: and the open arms of of of Poland. To to 430 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 1: have this refugee crisis going coming straight into their country, 431 00:21:43,359 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: I mean, it affects all of Europe. It's been crazy. 432 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:50,600 Speaker 1: But to answer the question, I'm annoyed too. The Milan 433 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 1: Fashion Week was at the same time, the Food and 434 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,120 Speaker 1: Wine Festival was at the same time. You know now 435 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: and then the SAG Awards and you're watching people really 436 00:21:58,160 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 1: just obsessed with what they're wearing and how they look. 437 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,440 Speaker 1: And you know, when you get really passionate about something, 438 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 1: it frustrates you that other people aren't talking about it 439 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: and that they're talking about their eyelashes, and it gets 440 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,919 Speaker 1: a little bit you know, you have to balance that 441 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,360 Speaker 1: because you want to just say, shut up, who cares. 442 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 1: It's something going on in the world, you really do, 443 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,560 Speaker 1: but you've got to just play, you know, spread the 444 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 1: word on your own and their strength and numbers, and 445 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,479 Speaker 1: you know, it's been amazing to have the capability and 446 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,320 Speaker 1: the passion and the skill set to do relief work. 447 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,160 Speaker 1: It affects so many people. And to my point about 448 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: all those charities earlier and all those issues, it affects everyone. 449 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,800 Speaker 1: The one thing about crisis relief is it affects everyone. 450 00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,639 Speaker 1: It affects the blind, the death, the black, the white, 451 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,240 Speaker 1: the young, the old. I mean, it affects everything. So 452 00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: it's one of the great reasons, uh that if you 453 00:22:52,359 --> 00:22:55,000 Speaker 1: want to get involved and donate to be Strong Bethany 454 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,960 Speaker 1: dot com slash be Strong, b t h e n 455 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 1: n y dot com slash be Strong, you get to 456 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 1: help everyone. I mean, our newest request is for UH 457 00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:10,800 Speaker 1: protective gear because civilians feel like they're personally, you know, 458 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 1: in a war fighting a war, so they want protective 459 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: gear every day. The needs change. It was went from 460 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 1: US helping refugees relocate to now going back into the 461 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:24,160 Speaker 1: Ukraine does a dangerous proposition, going back in with aid 462 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,280 Speaker 1: and military when you're dealing with Russians who obviously want 463 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 1: the Ukrainians to be weak. It's a whole crazy thing. 464 00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,919 Speaker 1: I feel like, I I'm so not political, but I 465 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 1: learned so much about politics through leaf work. You have 466 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:38,200 Speaker 1: no idea. I learned about the craziest stuff you never 467 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:43,399 Speaker 1: ever think of. Van Cleave's v A n K L 468 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 1: e f s. How did you learn to become a 469 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,760 Speaker 1: great parent and you had no role model? I think 470 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 1: role models come in many different forms. You can view 471 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,960 Speaker 1: what people have done and do the opposite. You can 472 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 1: create your own recipe of some of the things that 473 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: other people have done and at it to what you've 474 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 1: either read about, heard about, seeing from friends, watched on TV, etcetera. 475 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,480 Speaker 1: But I think it's important to break the chain. If 476 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,480 Speaker 1: you're aware that you can break the chain and do 477 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 1: it differently, as a parent than the way that you 478 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 1: were parent did with whatever limited resources your parents might 479 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: have had or financially or age wise, or education or 480 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,960 Speaker 1: emotional intelligence, then it could be a winning formula. I 481 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 1: mean sometimes mentors come in in in forms of people 482 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 1: that are doing the opposite of what you would do, 483 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 1: because you just want to do what they're not doing 484 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:38,719 Speaker 1: in business and in your personal life. At cater DD two, 485 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,919 Speaker 1: if you could do one thing differently in your career, 486 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,520 Speaker 1: what would it be? I don't know. I do my 487 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 1: career the way that I love to. I literally don't 488 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:47,439 Speaker 1: do things I don't want to do. I don't do 489 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: things I'm not passionate about. I I actually have given 490 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 1: up millions and millions of dollars on this journey and 491 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: just not doing what I don't feel good about, what 492 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:00,360 Speaker 1: doesn't give me the right emotional or so a full 493 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:05,200 Speaker 1: return on my investment. Uh So, I don't believe in regret. 494 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:14,960 Speaker 1: I would not do anything differently. Honestly, who were my 495 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 1: real friends on Real House? I was real friends with 496 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:26,359 Speaker 1: Jill Zarin and Dorinda Um. I really like Sonya. I 497 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:30,040 Speaker 1: have a soft place in my heart for Sonya. Um. 498 00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,760 Speaker 1: Kyle and I came up together when we were young. 499 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 1: I met Kyle when Pharaoh her daughter was four, and 500 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,919 Speaker 1: I think she had fair at eighteen or nineteen. So 501 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: I had to meet Kyle when we were like twenty 502 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: two years old. I was at her wedding, so I've 503 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: known her for years. Um. And I'm friendly with Lisa Rinna. 504 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 1: I talked to Lisa vander Pumps sometimes. I message with Teresa, 505 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,919 Speaker 1: who are really like and you really like Niny. I 506 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: think she's iconic and hilarious. Um. Oh. I was really 507 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,840 Speaker 1: friend to Carol too, and I got support. I got 508 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 1: interesting messages from certain house. So I was very passionate 509 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 1: about the relief work. Uh. The Loris Catania, I don't 510 00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 1: even know her. Who would expect her to be interested 511 00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,399 Speaker 1: in what be Strong is doing and passionately interested? She 512 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:20,639 Speaker 1: really gets involved. And then Margaret is on Jersey also, 513 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,120 Speaker 1: she she sends nice messages. I'm always surprised. And there's 514 00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:28,879 Speaker 1: another all the Jersey girls interesting. Uh, the girl who 515 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,919 Speaker 1: took everybody to her West Hampton house. Why am I 516 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,960 Speaker 1: having Jackie gold Schneider. She reaches out too. It's fascinating actually, 517 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: now that I think about it. Um, the people who 518 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: are interested in really for that that reach out and 519 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 1: ask if they can help. Memes about Bravo one which 520 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:48,119 Speaker 1: friendship breakdown is hardest for me, Jill or Carol? It 521 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,639 Speaker 1: depends on where you were. Where was in my life. 522 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,560 Speaker 1: I was going through a challenging divorce and the friendship 523 00:26:53,560 --> 00:27:01,199 Speaker 1: breakdown with Carol was definitely challenging. UM. I think Carol 524 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,000 Speaker 1: and I were equally, if not almost equally. If I 525 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: don't know, you know I, I don't know that. I 526 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:10,520 Speaker 1: don't have to answer that question. I actually don't. UM. 527 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:15,600 Speaker 1: Friendships that are made on television, on reality television are 528 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,400 Speaker 1: not that easy. UM. There are a lot of other 529 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:27,760 Speaker 1: elements involved. Competition, fame, attention, success, money. Everybody in that 530 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: franchise is comparing to everybody else. They can say they're not. 531 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,760 Speaker 1: They can hashtag women supporting women, We could do anything 532 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: we want to do. I've been there, and they will 533 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:42,840 Speaker 1: all anonymously tell you the same thing that that's that's 534 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:46,840 Speaker 1: if you're doing better than other people. They're having a 535 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,520 Speaker 1: problem with it in one way or another. It may 536 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:52,119 Speaker 1: be wrapped in frosting, but in one way or another. 537 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 1: At Laura Kids Health, what are my top three traitors? 538 00:27:57,040 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: Joe's products? Wow. Well, I like to say I knew 539 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,960 Speaker 1: Trader Joe's before it was famous. Okay, I knew Trader 540 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:07,360 Speaker 1: Joe's decades ago from l A when you'd go there 541 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 1: to buy your cheese and your inexpensive wine. So Trader 542 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:15,800 Speaker 1: Joe's is extremely famous now, almost as famous as kale Um. 543 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: So my top three. They had a really good, like 544 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:23,200 Speaker 1: a good healthier spinach artichoke dip, which I appreciated. It 545 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 1: was in one of those plastic containers. Uh. They have 546 00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 1: a good marinated cooked balsamic chicken. If you eat chicken, Um, 547 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,119 Speaker 1: it's just a scot It's in a salty sort of 548 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:39,640 Speaker 1: zesty sauce. That's nice. Um. Their cauliflower pizza crusted, I 549 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 1: think is better than most. And I think they have 550 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: a nice feaking pesto. And they have a nice soy 551 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,880 Speaker 1: cheese like shredded cheese. It's not if you're into non 552 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,160 Speaker 1: dairy cheese. Anonymous, What should I do if I think 553 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: one of my managers is mad at me. She's being 554 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,240 Speaker 1: passive aggressive, and I'm not sure how to handle it. 555 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: This is a good one. It depends on the personality type. 556 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:06,760 Speaker 1: Employers can be like bullies and sometimes they prey on weakness, 557 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 1: and if you seem like you care and you seem 558 00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 1: like you're not strong, they might keep going. If you 559 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,200 Speaker 1: really don't have a reason that someone would be upset 560 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:19,000 Speaker 1: with you, I would plow straight through. I would plow 561 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 1: straight through and lead by example and do good work. 562 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: Uh and ignore ignore I don't. It's like you can't 563 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: be desperate. But if it's just something that could risk 564 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,760 Speaker 1: a job and you might have done something wrong, then 565 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,720 Speaker 1: approached the situation. But approach it head on. Don't you 566 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,719 Speaker 1: be passive aggressive? Also, don't be wishy washy people like 567 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 1: strong people who can just cut to the chase. Have 568 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: a meeting anonymous. You've been outspoken about keeping your circle small. 569 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 1: How do you balance maintaining friendships and building a career. 570 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 1: I have no friends that aren't real to the core, 571 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:57,240 Speaker 1: could trust them with anything. Friends, So I'm really black 572 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,920 Speaker 1: and white. That's it. Like I'm I don't have a 573 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 1: lot of middle of the road friends, so I can 574 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:06,920 Speaker 1: really trust my friends. And if you have really good friends, 575 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: they're happy that you're building a career. There's zero animosity, 576 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:15,160 Speaker 1: zero jealousy, zero competition. They're very successful in their own right. 577 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 1: In different industries and that's how I roll. John Hardesty, 578 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,520 Speaker 1: H A. R. D. S. T. Y Lord Pittle, Puck Do. 579 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,600 Speaker 1: I have plans to ever run for Congress or party, 580 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,720 Speaker 1: but I run for I am not political at all. 581 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,120 Speaker 1: As I said earlier, I learned a lot about political 582 00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 1: situations going on because of the disaster relief, and I 583 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 1: am always involved in politics in the sense that we 584 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 1: may need people in politics to help us in order 585 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,600 Speaker 1: to get our aid to the right people. So you 586 00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 1: have to play the game in that way, which is 587 00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 1: its own dance. Um. But I'm not for politics. I'm 588 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,840 Speaker 1: not for campaigning. I'm not for being fake. I'm not 589 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 1: for uh red tape, I'm not for kissing people's ass. 590 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 1: I'm not for any of that stuff. Thank you so 591 00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:14,120 Speaker 1: much for these amazing questions. I love this. I hope 592 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:15,640 Speaker 1: you guys like it too. It seems to go very 593 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,400 Speaker 1: well last time. And I love your curiosity and it 594 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:21,880 Speaker 1: just makes me think of so many other different things. 595 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,720 Speaker 1: So we've got on these different tangents. So I really 596 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: appreciate your natural curiosity and love to talk to you 597 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: about what you're going through. So thank you so much. 598 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,000 Speaker 1: Remember to rate, review and subscribe and have the Best 599 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 1: Day Ever. Just Be is hosted by me, Bethany Franklin. 600 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,040 Speaker 1: Just Be as a production of the real productions I 601 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: Heart Radio and Blue Duck Media. Are EPs are Morgen Levois, 602 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:47,320 Speaker 1: Antonio Andriquez, and Kara Hit. To catch more moments from 603 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:49,680 Speaker 1: the show, follow us on Instagram and just Be with 604 00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 1: Bethany