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Speaker 1: my grandma and your grandma was sitting by the fire.
Speaker 1: My grandma to your grandma, I'm gonna say, funny, you're
Speaker 1: talking about hind I go on date Jagomofin Jagomo Don
Speaker 1: Lost Culture rest Calling Greetings, Earthly, I hear an alien
Speaker 1: you you heard me arrive? Can I be honest with you?
Speaker 1: I was trying to thematically set the scene for our guests. Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's honestly what I was doing. I clocked that. I
Speaker 1: clocked that because look, um, he's other Worldslee. He's earned
Speaker 1: the title of space prints, and I don't know if
Speaker 1: he's really earned it as much as itself proclaimed. But
Speaker 1: you know what we can get into that, we can
Speaker 1: talk about that. I think there's I think it intersects
Speaker 1: it both. I think that you're probably right. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: go what are we even talking about? Oh come on,
Speaker 1: let's go through the credit okay if you insist. So
Speaker 1: first and foremost, you've seen his incredible work this season
Speaker 1: as a writer on Saturday Night Live, like truly, hit
Speaker 1: the culture hard in the face, hit the culture hard
Speaker 1: in the face, truly, and and you know what, the
Speaker 1: culture hasn't recovered. Culture has not, right. I hope they
Speaker 1: don't recover. I hope they don't. That is vicious savage. Um.
Speaker 1: And you can see him this summer in August at
Speaker 1: the Edinburgh for Interested Goal. He's doing a month long
Speaker 1: writer residency there. Check him out if you happen to
Speaker 1: be in Edinburgh. One month long. One month long. It's
Speaker 1: so long, I mean, but I mean, come on, I
Speaker 1: mean the demand is there, honey. Absolutely, And of course
Speaker 1: look out for the upcoming comedy Central half Hour, which
Speaker 1: is going to be just fabulous savage culture, Savage garden,
Speaker 1: Savage that is Julio Taures. How are you? I'm great.
Speaker 1: I'm okay. That's good to hear that you're great. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I know you're going through something stressful, which is moving. Yes, okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I am apartment hunting. Yes, I yes, And you're meeting
Speaker 1: with a realtor after this, and I and I'm meeting
Speaker 1: with Yes, I am rushing after this. So uh to
Speaker 1: go see a place in Fort Green, which is not
Speaker 1: the neighborhood that I saw myself in originally, that's gonna say, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what what were you going to say? Well, I think
Speaker 1: that you should be around sharp um like at very industrial.
Speaker 1: I think you should see the brand all the way through. Yes,
Speaker 1: to me, there's too much green and green for you personally,
Speaker 1: there's I don't think like brown stones are for me.
Speaker 1: I like I like glass. Yeah, I have like a
Speaker 1: lot of glass. I saw a place in Williamsburg today
Speaker 1: that was believed apartment number thirteen, and the the prize
Speaker 1: is great. The location was perfect, perfect, The kitchen was
Speaker 1: too big, Oh my gosh. Aesthetically was it good? It
Speaker 1: was fine, it was It was a large bedroom and
Speaker 1: a large living area and a kitchen that is daunting
Speaker 1: in how big. There was so many cabinets. Wow, I
Speaker 1: wouldn't know what to do with that. It's it's too much.
Speaker 1: And I here's what I need. I need. I don't
Speaker 1: need a kitchen. I just need like a mini fridge,
Speaker 1: put like half of a nice coffee. But I'm not
Speaker 1: going to finish drinking. Yes, and you want to see
Speaker 1: what happens to it over time? Yes, yes, exactly, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't need all these Like there were so many cabinets.
Speaker 1: It was truly upsetting. It was like I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: I don't. Yeah, well you know what those Sometimes that
Speaker 1: ship is very it seems one way is another. Like
Speaker 1: we looked at our apartment and there were so many
Speaker 1: cabinets and I was like, this is too many cabinets.
Speaker 1: And guess what it ended up not being enough? No, No,
Speaker 1: because you uh and your boyfriend first of all, or
Speaker 1: two people, that's true. And second of all you you
Speaker 1: enjoy making a meal maybe or like eating and he does. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't. I if it could not have a kitchen,
Speaker 1: I would be so happy and take that extra space.
Speaker 1: If you could reject, if you could reject domesticity wholesale, yes,
Speaker 1: you would I saw another apartment that it was also
Speaker 1: that was also reasonably prized even better location you mentioned
Speaker 1: The last location was perfect, Yes, yes, but this is
Speaker 1: even better, more than perfect, more than perfect. It had
Speaker 1: a backyard that was so big it was upsetting because
Speaker 1: what would I do with only a small corner? I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to sit in my bed at night
Speaker 1: and thinking about the acres that I have nothing to
Speaker 1: do with. Are you just reversed to scale? In general?
Speaker 1: Is there a room? No? No, I am not. If
Speaker 1: if it were like a giant loft, I would take
Speaker 1: it there. Yeah, but one has to equal function. Yes,
Speaker 1: and also yes, and also a lot of these places
Speaker 1: I would end up paying for things I don't need,
Speaker 1: like a backyard, and I don't. I don't want it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be you know when I when
Speaker 1: when I was shown that, I was like, well, what
Speaker 1: do we say? I am not a creature of uh? What?
Speaker 1: I want? I need air? I need Yes, I need
Speaker 1: to be space up, creative space. Yes, like for for me,
Speaker 1: for you, the plants can't take up the space that
Speaker 1: your ideas and thoughts would take it up. Yeah. And
Speaker 1: also just like I what am I going to like barbecue.
Speaker 1: I know barbecue, although I would I would, I would
Speaker 1: say you could do a bang up job just retrofitting
Speaker 1: that backyard to your sensibility. I don't think, so I disagree,
Speaker 1: and I passed. It's already done, already done. Here's someone
Speaker 1: some like an ancient couple is the being there, and
Speaker 1: they're probably they're probably so happy. They're probably the ancient couple.
Speaker 1: If if a baby can exist in the space, it's
Speaker 1: not for Julio exactly. You know what it should be
Speaker 1: dangerous for a baby. It should be it should be like,
Speaker 1: oh no, if the baby gets too close to that wall,
Speaker 1: it'll break, It'll break. Yes, yes, I just I think
Speaker 1: that you'll find it. I just don't know if you're
Speaker 1: going to find it in Brooklyn. Is that weird to say?
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you if you don't want to go
Speaker 1: into Manhattan? No? No, I don't think I want to
Speaker 1: go into Manhattan like I saw. Okay, I saw another
Speaker 1: place today, h eighth floor, beautiful view Fork Green Uh. Small, Uh,
Speaker 1: it's a it's a studio. Uh. The kitchen was as
Speaker 1: big as a like a like a like an airplane kitchen.
Speaker 1: So it was perfect. Okay. So like like those tiny
Speaker 1: kids justin from to do what they needed exactly. It
Speaker 1: was perfect. It was perfect except the I mean taking
Speaker 1: a word, did you love Bowen? The building was frankly
Speaker 1: classes class. It was classes. It was Their requirements almost
Speaker 1: suggested that not only okay, it's reasonable for them to
Speaker 1: want to know that I can't afford it, but it's
Speaker 1: almost as if they wanted me to prove that I've
Speaker 1: never been broke. It's insane as for that I've never
Speaker 1: and that is I do not think so, honey, I
Speaker 1: do not. Can I pitch something to you. I'm going
Speaker 1: to pitch the Financial District. And you know I would
Speaker 1: love the Financial District. I would. I fantasize of living
Speaker 1: high up in the Financial District and just overlooking a
Speaker 1: maze of gray buildings and it's there's no one there
Speaker 1: at night. The abstagrams stories of Julio reaching his his
Speaker 1: gnarled hand out casting a spell upon the Financial I
Speaker 1: think that you living on top of all those men
Speaker 1: with they're like dumb faces and big butts. I think
Speaker 1: thinking about you raining over them. I think I want
Speaker 1: you to live there because I want you to destroy them. Yes,
Speaker 1: I want you to destroy them, and I think that
Speaker 1: only you can do it. That's how I feel. What
Speaker 1: do you think I would do it? As long as
Speaker 1: the building isn't prissy? Because I have a I have
Speaker 1: a little lightning bolt earring, yes, dangling from my from
Speaker 1: my from my body. I can't be part of a
Speaker 1: co op. It's too much. It's too it's too much
Speaker 1: of a committee. I already. You know, I belonged to
Speaker 1: two unions and I work for TELT. I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't need more commitment. We've already. I don't been dragged
Speaker 1: down by other people. You need, yes, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't need. Wow, I agree with you. You don't need it.
Speaker 1: I need. But being being in a co op building,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean you have to necessarily be involved unless
Speaker 1: you're on the board and I am. I know you
Speaker 1: have to know. But that but that means that I
Speaker 1: don't know. But that means that I I have proved
Speaker 1: to them that I am worthy of their presence. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. I don't think so honey that
Speaker 1: who needs Julio has transcended just having to seek out
Speaker 1: that sort of approval. No, but I don't think anyone
Speaker 1: should go through that sort of approval. I don't Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like the whole Like I I remember when I
Speaker 1: learned that I had to apply for college. I was
Speaker 1: out right, what is what is? What is with all
Speaker 1: of this? And it's I'm just going to say it.
Speaker 1: It's a very American thing of just having to prove
Speaker 1: your your status over and over. And I was just
Speaker 1: talking about this with my father. I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: what's stupid, like the concept of college, Like you don't
Speaker 1: actually have to be good at the ship that they
Speaker 1: teach you in high school in the world, So why
Speaker 1: is it so fucking high stakes? It's so stupid. S
Speaker 1: A T is a joke. Well that's a corporation. That's
Speaker 1: just the monopoly at college. But they make you feel like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, there's there's everything you've done and then there's
Speaker 1: the S A T S and they hold equal weight,
Speaker 1: which I'm I think is changing, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I also, I was a college tour guide. What college? What?
Speaker 1: What college? In the New School. I wanted them to
Speaker 1: know them, to let me tell you. I know my
Speaker 1: jo So you were a tour guide at the New School.
Speaker 1: I was a tour at the New School. Uh, and
Speaker 1: the only I was just reminded because I the s
Speaker 1: A T requirement was something that I had to know.
Speaker 1: But one of the many facts that I never learned.
Speaker 1: I just sort of bluffed my way through the through
Speaker 1: the tour. I think it's becoming less important. Well, I
Speaker 1: think I feel like I can't believe you were you
Speaker 1: were a college tour guy. I was very bad at it.
Speaker 1: I was very impersonable. I uh, you know how you're
Speaker 1: supposed to walk backwards and talk. Yeah, I refused to
Speaker 1: do that. I never did that. I would just pick
Speaker 1: them up from wherever. Wherever I picked up like the
Speaker 1: welcome center or whatever the name of it was. No,
Speaker 1: the welcome center right now for a facor was the
Speaker 1: welcome center, and then I would just take them to
Speaker 1: the first building and we would just walk in silence.
Speaker 1: We were just walking out of silence. But when I
Speaker 1: saw this one building that I had like bookmarked in
Speaker 1: my head, I would turn to them and say, we're
Speaker 1: almost there, and where was the ultimate places you were going?
Speaker 1: Where was the destination? The destination was a building on
Speaker 1: street and like closest sixth Avenue, So this is a
Speaker 1: it's a well, you guys went to win one. It's
Speaker 1: like almost the same deal where there's no I think
Speaker 1: I exactly I know what place you're talking about too.
Speaker 1: It was like a big new school building, but there
Speaker 1: wasn't much intermingling between the n y U kids, and
Speaker 1: I don't think because I feel like if it were
Speaker 1: a person, it would be this very sort of like
Speaker 1: career hungry eyes on the prize, uh, sort of like Miranda, Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what it is. The New School just sort of
Speaker 1: like rolls out of bed at noon and it's just
Speaker 1: like hey, no, okay, no, Aiden, Aiden's maybe like brown brown. Well,
Speaker 1: then when it's a new school a Blair from Gossip Girl,
Speaker 1: the New School is unrepresented in media. Frankly, you're right,
Speaker 1: we need to show that really gets a gets a
Speaker 1: new school, the new School of hype. Yeah no, uh yeah. Listen,
Speaker 1: we're talking about your your past, and I feel like
Speaker 1: this is now, this is the moment we pose the
Speaker 1: question to you, Julio Torres, Now what was I truly
Speaker 1: don't know what it's coming because even though I love
Speaker 1: the beginning of your podcast to get to what I think,
Speaker 1: I think, Wholi just stops when he stops. Ab Julio
Speaker 1: wants to I think. I think during this when the
Speaker 1: same Taggart episode came out, Julio messaged me and said,
Speaker 1: wow is lost Culture is just going to be the
Speaker 1: first podcast I listened to all the way through and
Speaker 1: it was. It was, but it was very close. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's same Taggart episode got real shitty in the last
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. Did I have to say? I can say
Speaker 1: it is. You know, it comes as a great honor
Speaker 1: for Julio. Wait, hold on, you know what. I am
Speaker 1: going to come for Taggart on because he came for
Speaker 1: me and us. He came for us in our I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, and he came for Kelly Clarkson
Speaker 1: and I don't think so live show. Which okay, let's please,
Speaker 1: you know what. Let's we'll get into it at first.
Speaker 1: Let's let's start at the beginning before we can get
Speaker 1: to that cultural high point in Julio's life, which is
Speaker 1: hating Kelly Clarkson. Um, this is the question. I don't Clarkson,
Speaker 1: I don't I have the reference that you have. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's fair, that's fair. This is the question we ask
Speaker 1: all of our guests, Julio, which is what was the
Speaker 1: culture that made you say, you know, growing up as
Speaker 1: a young Julio, culture is for me, I want to
Speaker 1: step in a cultural direction. What was the culture that
Speaker 1: made you think I could use culture? Does that make sense?
Speaker 1: It does not? Okay, answer whatever it means to you.
Speaker 1: Whatever it means to you, And can you give me
Speaker 1: examples of previous and you know, you know, well you're
Speaker 1: talking about films that influenced you. Television, I see, have
Speaker 1: musical artists also perhaps maybe your upbringing, things like in
Speaker 1: the culture that's that influenced you. For those of you
Speaker 1: who are not in the room and are listening to
Speaker 1: the podcast, when I've been grabbing at the air trying
Speaker 1: to in the culture just sort of grabbed the air
Speaker 1: in abstract everything For me, Julio, everything is tangible, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: that's what you are, A tactile, very like kinesthetic tangible. Yes,
Speaker 1: um um, I think that No, please, please please, I
Speaker 1: was going to bring up Mary Alice Young, but that
Speaker 1: is kind of I want him to bring it. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well all right, all right, sorry, Well that was I
Speaker 1: was already fully full form a cultural person. Yes, I
Speaker 1: think that I grew up watching very old American TV
Speaker 1: shows that I thought were current, Yes, that I love
Speaker 1: the dream of Genie. Oh my god, I thought I
Speaker 1: was under the impression that I dream of Genie was
Speaker 1: being shot, uh like weekly California something. And then I
Speaker 1: and then I came to learn that years have passed
Speaker 1: and that I was looking at a Yes, I love
Speaker 1: the agreement Genie I loved. So Genie had this like
Speaker 1: pink outfit in a pink bottle, but Genie's evil twin
Speaker 1: had this. She was a brunette and she had this
Speaker 1: of course sexy green outfit and the inside of her bottle,
Speaker 1: and we're coming back to the first topic of conversation.
Speaker 1: The inside of her bottle was had just had a
Speaker 1: gray marble table with a fruit plate in the middle,
Speaker 1: well color the walls which it was in green accents,
Speaker 1: but it was not as like oppressively filled with fabric
Speaker 1: like her sisters. So that is the apartment I'm looking
Speaker 1: for it. Did you have you found yourself drawn to
Speaker 1: Genie's twine? Yes, that makes a lot of end to
Speaker 1: me that out of I haven't thought about I dream
Speaker 1: of Genie, and like I think about a dream of
Speaker 1: Genie maybe once a day. That makes a lot of
Speaker 1: sense to me. Yeah, like the magical aspect, the like Yeah,
Speaker 1: I loved just wondering what Genie did inside her bottle
Speaker 1: when she was waiting around for the astronaut to come
Speaker 1: back home. Ye major Anthony Nelson, Oh my goodness, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess did you watch that one? I barely watched.
Speaker 1: I dream of Genie. I love always aware of it.
Speaker 1: Were you a Brady Bunch fan? Okay? Nothing that was um.
Speaker 1: I didn't really care for anything where the concept of
Speaker 1: the show was family. I was. I was reading that
Speaker 1: from you, yea. I that always rubbed me the wrong way.
Speaker 1: The hokey nous and the the lesson learned at the
Speaker 1: end of it. I never had. I could never stomach
Speaker 1: like Full House, any of those or any of those shows.
Speaker 1: Wow about Threes Company, I never saw. Okay, I think
Speaker 1: that you should go back and revisit Threes Company because
Speaker 1: of the show is the very convoluted president premise. It's basically,
Speaker 1: this guy, Jack Tripper, pretends that he's gay so that
Speaker 1: he can move in with these two hot women, one blonde,
Speaker 1: one brunette. And this is very important cause I had
Speaker 1: no idea that wasn't the plot. I thought yea in
Speaker 1: the seventies. I thought the plot was just together, people
Speaker 1: lived together. So wait, so then he's not throughout the
Speaker 1: of course not. He's on television right, so throughout the
Speaker 1: he's a lad. He has a lead role. But the
Speaker 1: so there. So was he hiding his heterosexuality throughout the show?
Speaker 1: It was so stupid, But it was like just stupid
Speaker 1: enough that it was like believed by a broad audience.
Speaker 1: It was he wanted to live with these women, to them,
Speaker 1: I guess, just to look at them, or maybe eventually
Speaker 1: revealed that he was actually straight. I don't know how
Speaker 1: the show turned out, but he was parading as a
Speaker 1: gay man. What what What were the I cringe to
Speaker 1: think of. What were the techniques that he used to
Speaker 1: He didn't act super gay. I think he just like
Speaker 1: wore loud paned once in a while, got it. See.
Speaker 1: I'm not familiar with Three Company either. I think we
Speaker 1: all should go back and revisit it. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I think I don't think it's I don't think it
Speaker 1: deserves our that's fine too, I don't think it deserves
Speaker 1: our tribute. You know, rule number seventy nine of culture,
Speaker 1: No one has to do anything. What number is that
Speaker 1: no one has to do anything? Well? What about Okay,
Speaker 1: I think you know what the spiritual successor if I
Speaker 1: dream of Genie is Bewitched. What do we think of
Speaker 1: not the success of the contemporary contemporary? They were on
Speaker 1: at the same time, I believe, But I got my
Speaker 1: I had my timetable so warped as you know. But
Speaker 1: I I think that it was on at the same time.
Speaker 1: I think that it was just I think it was
Speaker 1: sort of like a deep impact Armageddon type deal where
Speaker 1: you can have like two of like kind of the same.
Speaker 1: I here's here's what's ah. I should have liked Bewitched
Speaker 1: more because she was she was a witch with agency
Speaker 1: as opposed to a Genie that's submissive. She was also dumb, captive, dumb. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Barbara Eden played her like sweet and naive and where
Speaker 1: as the lead and Bewitched she was Elizabeth something. I think.
Speaker 1: So she was very uh, she's very proactive, and she
Speaker 1: was very much the head of the of the household. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Did you see the remake with Kiman. I did see
Speaker 1: the remake with Nicole Kidman. I think I think what
Speaker 1: the majority thought, which is that Christian Jennowit steals the
Speaker 1: film was she she wasn't She played the neighbor I
Speaker 1: remember as in a post wicked world and as a
Speaker 1: little little gay boy me being so excited that Christian
Speaker 1: General was But the premise of the movie was the
Speaker 1: day we're filming the TV show. Making the TV show
Speaker 1: very stupid doesn't need to be that dumb. It was
Speaker 1: just very There were a lot of levels. There's still
Speaker 1: a lot. It was working a lot of levels. And I,
Speaker 1: you know, nic Nicole Kidman is one of my favorite actresses,
Speaker 1: and I think that's why I that's why I watched it.
Speaker 1: But ah, I like roughly of of be watched. What
Speaker 1: is it about Nicole for you? Um that she can
Speaker 1: play weak in a very commanding and powerful way. That's it,
Speaker 1: very very astute there. Yeah, that is what it is.
Speaker 1: That she My favorite movie of hers and maybe one
Speaker 1: of my favorite movies ever, it was Birth, Birth. In Birth,
Speaker 1: she plays this very very wealthy New Yorker who is
Speaker 1: getting remarried. She's a widower. She's a widow. She's getting remarried, remarried,
Speaker 1: and during her engagement party, this little boy knocks on
Speaker 1: their door. She opens the door and She's like, Hi,
Speaker 1: who are you? And the boy says that he is
Speaker 1: the reincarnated spirit of her deceased husband, and then they
Speaker 1: have a relationship, and then she sort of cheats on
Speaker 1: her fiance with this little boy. And it is. Her
Speaker 1: trembling is so powerful. If there's a scene which is
Speaker 1: literally a five minute close up on her face as
Speaker 1: she watches opera, Yes, and it's it will leave you shook.
Speaker 1: It is. It's true. And even in her loud performances,
Speaker 1: like even in her big performances like Mulan Rush, I've
Speaker 1: never seen Mulan Ruth. You will you will love it?
Speaker 1: What I yes, I think that she cops bloody, You'll
Speaker 1: love it. She she dies fantastically of tubercularn And I
Speaker 1: think that you're going to be irritated by the first
Speaker 1: thirty minutes of it, But you gotta stick with it, Julio,
Speaker 1: because you will appreciate what's happened in that portion of
Speaker 1: the film later on. We're going to out. Julio right
Speaker 1: now is one of those people who just just doesn't
Speaker 1: get the diegetic concept of musicals. He doesn't understand why
Speaker 1: they have to sing. It takes me. Yes, you know
Speaker 1: who doesn't get it buzzlerman. Okay, oh oh interesting, and
Speaker 1: that's why Julio will connect to it. Yeah, it's a connect.
Speaker 1: It's fully batched and saying okay, but but talk us
Speaker 1: through your I'm not going to say disdain, but you're
Speaker 1: you're just um your skepticism of musicals as a concept.
Speaker 1: I think that the suspension of disbelief where a character
Speaker 1: is having a conversation and then they break into songs
Speaker 1: is just I can't make that leap. Okay, but what
Speaker 1: about like in the movie adaptation of Chicago, for instance,
Speaker 1: where you find out that all these numbers are taking
Speaker 1: place in the protagonist's mind. What about that? Now that
Speaker 1: makes sense because the protagonist presumably has a very musical
Speaker 1: but she wants to be famous and so she and
Speaker 1: thematically it fits. Yes, but no, you don't like just
Speaker 1: breaking into songs. For example, of this sentence, what's your
Speaker 1: reaction to this sentence? I can no longer speak, so
Speaker 1: I must sing? Oh wait, what is that from? That's
Speaker 1: just the rule of musicals when you can when the
Speaker 1: emotion gets so big that you can no longer speak,
Speaker 1: you must singly. Because that's how I literally live my life.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't express my emotions musically, and maybe
Speaker 1: that's where I can't h connect. But you are a
Speaker 1: lover of music, sure, but you just don't express myself music.
Speaker 1: It's like yeah, no, I don't. Yeah, you have to
Speaker 1: connect with the form on on a personal level and
Speaker 1: in a way that's like I want, I'm interested in
Speaker 1: in executing the form. I mean does that sound Yeah?
Speaker 1: It's like okay. So it's like, uh, say a musical
Speaker 1: where there's stockbroker is getting coffee and his life is
Speaker 1: going wrong and he puts his coffee down and then
Speaker 1: he starts singing. Yes, I don't think that that man
Speaker 1: has a musical spirit, so why is he doing that?
Speaker 1: I understand. So I had to succeeding business without really trying.
Speaker 1: Is not for Julio, but the producers might be because
Speaker 1: b Stock in the producers wants to be a producer. Yes, okay, great,
Speaker 1: this is fascinating. You know, I think I think it's
Speaker 1: not that you don't like musicals. Maybe you don't. I
Speaker 1: don't want to tell you what you like, but I'm
Speaker 1: just saying there could be ones that would hit with you.
Speaker 1: You know what I think you would like? Nine oh,
Speaker 1: nine is. I think I think you would like it
Speaker 1: because because the diadetic of it like does work. It's
Speaker 1: like this tortured Italian film director Widow Contini, and he
Speaker 1: is having a lot of trouble, he's having like a
Speaker 1: block artistically, and he sees the nine women in his
Speaker 1: life that have influenced him, and he muses on appear
Speaker 1: to him in song and performed for him. And I
Speaker 1: think that you would like that. However, the movie is
Speaker 1: like Cruz Fergie, isn't it and steals the home. She
Speaker 1: sings a song called the Italian and it's just like
Speaker 1: she plays this hooker from his childhood who sexually awoken him. Um.
Speaker 1: And it's incredible that the nine women that formed him
Speaker 1: are tall and thin and Gordon. One of them is okay, okay,
Speaker 1: and one of the one of them is Sophia Loran Old. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Sophia's it was just Lallona just Guard the Moon. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: full culture, full culture, full culture, but it's it's it's
Speaker 1: fun at first. You would love Kate Hudson and it
Speaker 1: She's so fucking dumb and it so bad. She's so
Speaker 1: bad at it. Um Okay. Favorite Nicole a whisper where
Speaker 1: does this I was gonna ask where does this fall time?
Speaker 1: What is this fall timeline wise? When it's four? Wow,
Speaker 1: so this is post Oscar. I was gonna when you
Speaker 1: ask that question, I was going to say that it's
Speaker 1: said in winter, but it was it's very cold, it's
Speaker 1: set in winter. It's like like a bitter January. I think,
Speaker 1: which is which is exactly where you want it? Which
Speaker 1: is exactly where you want But but I would say,
Speaker 1: go ahead, what does this resolve in the third act
Speaker 1: or whatever? I just right, it's a child, It's just
Speaker 1: a child. Well, these are the questions that you have
Speaker 1: to answer it for yourself. Right, I think it is
Speaker 1: kind of a been ended. But after she won her Oscar,
Speaker 1: she did get very experimental. And what I noticed about
Speaker 1: Nicole Kimmon's filmography, which I really appreciate. She works with
Speaker 1: every director like she has worked with everybody, and you
Speaker 1: know what I heard is really good. But just coming
Speaker 1: out is that movie The Big Guy, which is Sophia Copa,
Speaker 1: who is a huge influence where she's Yeah, I love
Speaker 1: Sofia love I even love the the films that objectively
Speaker 1: I I am like this. Maybe it's not her like somewhere. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like somewhere, but I I still I adore them. That
Speaker 1: aligns very well with Julio Sofia. I love a long,
Speaker 1: atmospheric pan. Yes, uh and just sort of just like
Speaker 1: the climax is is someone that moves their index finger. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also love a good anachronism, like when Marie Antoinette's
Speaker 1: waking Yeah converse her converse. Yes, Yes, I thought that
Speaker 1: was really good. Yes, that movie is very funny. I
Speaker 1: really like that movie. To see. My favorite trailer of
Speaker 1: all time, great trailer. I love the font, you love
Speaker 1: the we love, we love the fun I think I
Speaker 1: I imagine that. I think that if I were to
Speaker 1: run for president, my campaign one of my campaign videos
Speaker 1: would just be reenacting the Marie Antoinette trailer. Yeah in verse,
Speaker 1: I yes, just me looking down as I've led everyone down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's seen when she comes to and
Speaker 1: they all stop. Oh man. You know. I love Kirsten Dunst.
Speaker 1: I've said it on this many times. I think she's actress.
Speaker 1: I think she's amazing, and she she's not as skilled
Speaker 1: as Nicole in that in that same regard of playing
Speaker 1: week so powerfully, but she does have that like mysterious
Speaker 1: naive beauty too. There's a naive beauty too. I think
Speaker 1: she can do anything. She can do anything, I really,
Speaker 1: I really do. I think she can play dumb broad comedy.
Speaker 1: I think she can do super small melancholia like this
Speaker 1: kind of like kind of really small, like almost emotionless
Speaker 1: but still so full. I just remembered something that Do
Speaker 1: I have this right that your main Matt Rogers, your
Speaker 1: main comedic influence is Eva Longoria? Yes? And I don't know.
Speaker 1: I can't remember if I decided that this was the
Speaker 1: case or if you told me. But also, Tara Read
Speaker 1: a big influence. Um terror read Maybe maybe Tera read
Speaker 1: is like an influence on the way I live my
Speaker 1: life in terms of how I execute comedic material. Is
Speaker 1: a huge influence on me. What about Eva Longoria? Because
Speaker 1: I see it, I see it. But what about Eva?
Speaker 1: Can you articulate why you connect to her? It's the
Speaker 1: way she takes space, and it's the way that she
Speaker 1: because she has an It's the way that she gets
Speaker 1: a script and says, here's the funny. I feel it
Speaker 1: in this. I see it in the same way she
Speaker 1: does every single joke in Desperate Housewives. M the way
Speaker 1: she reads all her lines is onto a clutch and
Speaker 1: just sort of like smacking someone with the kind Yes,
Speaker 1: it's the here's the pattern of Eva Longoria. Hey, hey, this, this, this,
Speaker 1: this case, this right, well, this this this His eyes
Speaker 1: are so wide open right now, And that's something I
Speaker 1: know I have for myself sometimes in my performancess, my
Speaker 1: eyes are too open. Oh yeah, to Eva, I think
Speaker 1: Eva Longoria huge and also Amy polar huge, both big old,
Speaker 1: big old, big old choices and like sharp, like very
Speaker 1: good with the one liner. Amy Poehler is uh more evident,
Speaker 1: of course, because you both have the same comedic Yeah.
Speaker 1: But Longoria is such a true she was in general
Speaker 1: hospital and and but I think Julia was going to
Speaker 1: say she came out of hospital, might be wrong. She
Speaker 1: was on one of them. She came up in the
Speaker 1: Corpus Christie, Texas Christie. She actually was known as the
Speaker 1: Dell close of Corpus Christie. Yeah, we have to take
Speaker 1: a quick break, but when we get back, we're going
Speaker 1: to get into Desperate Housewives, because I think it's what
Speaker 1: joins the three of us all together most um. And
Speaker 1: we'll be right back with jo bitch, I hope that
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Speaker 1: Come on, and we're back with Julio Taure. We took
Speaker 1: a break that was maybe half a second long, but
Speaker 1: know but because I have to go look at that apartment.
Speaker 1: He's got an appointment. But to you at home, it
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Speaker 1: want to take a risk because you don't want to
Speaker 1: take a risk. Yes, but they think it is a
Speaker 1: risk that they're shopping Kasper Mattress and Parker. Are you
Speaker 1: gonna have to edit this out because no, No, I
Speaker 1: think they know who they are. Okay, companies know who
Speaker 1: they are. I just I just got my eye exam
Speaker 1: at Morby Parker this past two Wow. And there we
Speaker 1: are compensating, and there we go, and there we go
Speaker 1: that what makes us professional. There we go, Um, okay,
Speaker 1: Desperate House, Yes, come on talk. I mean, when did
Speaker 1: we find out that this was the one the tide
Speaker 1: that that bound us together. I think we just like
Speaker 1: we're quoting Mary Alice, we were just think breathlessly said yes, Yes,
Speaker 1: I think it happened like really early on because I
Speaker 1: know I met you at Ethnic Realness. Yes, I feel
Speaker 1: like it was one of those gay as group conversations
Speaker 1: like three people end up rising to the top of It.
Speaker 1: Is so funny to me that that show is so
Speaker 1: present in my mind, given that I think I have
Speaker 1: an accurate assessment of its quality. But I think the
Speaker 1: first season is actually truly good. The pilot was so
Speaker 1: so funny and so fun Yes, um uh, And I
Speaker 1: don't I think I've ever crossed the street to my
Speaker 1: apartment without thinking yes and imagining a car just hitting
Speaker 1: hitting me, and someone neatly from above narrating it, and
Speaker 1: there being a crane overhead shot. The cranes did so
Speaker 1: much of the work for that show. Yes. Now I
Speaker 1: have to ask you, um, was there a character that
Speaker 1: you identified with most? Because I have one. No, I
Speaker 1: I can't say I connected to I could I connected
Speaker 1: esthetically to Terry Hatcher, No, what a mess, Marcia Cross. Uh,
Speaker 1: it's it's that very it's that very gay boy fetish
Speaker 1: I singing like trapped domesticity. That was just so uh
Speaker 1: like it was it was just so easy. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: think they did a really good job of covering every base.
Speaker 1: Like you know, it's like with one of them, I
Speaker 1: gave up my youth, the when I gave up my control,
Speaker 1: I give up my sanity. They covered all their basis
Speaker 1: of a womanhood, all the bases. I just think like
Speaker 1: it really read to me like a fucking whatever. I
Speaker 1: was like fifteen year old. I was like, yeah, this
Speaker 1: is accessible for me, and I had no right. It
Speaker 1: was like access. It was like porn. It was like like, oh,
Speaker 1: this part of my brain really gives into this. There's
Speaker 1: a very like primal I understood it, and there's something
Speaker 1: to that. But also I did think a lot of
Speaker 1: it was actually great, Like I mean, it succeeded on
Speaker 1: so many levels. I remember the pilot, the scene that
Speaker 1: made convince me that I that this was a show
Speaker 1: that I would enjoy, uh Felicity Hoffman's heels against the
Speaker 1: bottom of the pool. Yeah, and then the train of
Speaker 1: her her black her black blouse or whatever they were.
Speaker 1: They were at a wake, it was was it a wake?
Speaker 1: And then she had to drag her twins out of
Speaker 1: the pool. Yes, and wow, Felicity had to give up
Speaker 1: her career, her career. She at parents are given up.
Speaker 1: Lynette had given up her career. Yes, Um, I I
Speaker 1: thought was so sexy was Lynette's husband Tom? Oh you okay?
Speaker 1: So that you that you? Oh? Well, he looks yeah,
Speaker 1: he was so hot. No, I was gonna say, he
Speaker 1: looks like I know you're into. He's very American, he's
Speaker 1: very all American, very like he'll he'll barbecue, he'll like
Speaker 1: put away the wrenches. He but I do. I mean
Speaker 1: he just needs the mac and cheese. Terrible diet, terrible. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Carlos here on me just as like as a as a.
Speaker 1: I don't think I was attracted to any of the
Speaker 1: men in that show. Really, I was attracted for sure.
Speaker 1: And then you know that show I had the opposite
Speaker 1: problem that the rest of television, which is it had
Speaker 1: no idea how to write for men. And it was
Speaker 1: so funny to see the painful, painful, painful dialogue between
Speaker 1: two men on that show. It was just brutal. Like
Speaker 1: there was this scene where I can't I can't remember
Speaker 1: what what part of the show it was, but I
Speaker 1: think Mike was reading a book, uh, and he was
Speaker 1: imprisoned for some reason. And then there's other there's other
Speaker 1: like Con walks up to him and goes, what are
Speaker 1: you reading? And then he just grabs his book and
Speaker 1: throws it away and goes, I guess I'll just wait
Speaker 1: for the movie. It was like who is writing? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure a lot of the writing if you go
Speaker 1: back and watch it wasn't actually good. Although I do
Speaker 1: think a great TV moment that is oft overlooked is
Speaker 1: the dinner party scene where everyone's laughing and then uh,
Speaker 1: and then Marcia Cross's character says Rex cries when he ejaculates,
Speaker 1: Like that's great, And I think that is like, but
Speaker 1: you know what, because Desperate House Eyes brought back narrative
Speaker 1: TV because we were in this reality like, oh, because
Speaker 1: it was a huge hit and so people were like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe scripted things are that. That was when it was
Speaker 1: turning around. Yeah, I felt like that was like the
Speaker 1: golden age of YE was born. It had paved the
Speaker 1: way back for us. I truly did honestly, it was
Speaker 1: because Desperate Housewives started hitting at the same time Lost
Speaker 1: started hitting. It was Lost Desperate house but also Desperate
Speaker 1: Housewives spawned uh, the Real Housewives Orange County. Yes, and
Speaker 1: oh no no, because that was a hyperd I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: The Real house Was of Orange County was a hybrid
Speaker 1: between Desperate house and they wanted to try to combine
Speaker 1: those brands. Were you know, C person, did you watch
Speaker 1: the O C? I did? I love the O C.
Speaker 1: I Uh. I really really enjoyed them, and I will always,
Speaker 1: I think, in perversity, enjoyed teen dramas. I have seen
Speaker 1: every episode of Riverdale. That's a blunt spot for us.
Speaker 1: Come on, we gotta watch we gotta watch it. Do
Speaker 1: we have to watch it? I think you should. It's uh.
Speaker 1: It is mostly a TV show, but a huge part
Speaker 1: of it is a cover girl commercial. UM, a hot
Speaker 1: ginger guy on. There's a hot guy who's they his
Speaker 1: hair red um and their entire scenes. There's a scene
Speaker 1: where the female protagonist is looking at herself in the
Speaker 1: mirror and she's putting on lipstick because she was putting
Speaker 1: on her cover girl lipstick, and then her mother walks
Speaker 1: in and goes, what is that scarlet rose, and and
Speaker 1: and the said, I mean, like, yes it is. And
Speaker 1: then she like wipes the lipstick off of her enhanced
Speaker 1: her another lips thing and goes, I think you're more
Speaker 1: of a like pale pink god and like beautiful long
Speaker 1: shots of the product. It's a cover girl commercial and
Speaker 1: it's relationship building and it's a promotion. The only clip
Speaker 1: I've seen of Riverdale I saw the first like ten
Speaker 1: minutes of the pilot, which which was gorgeous, which was
Speaker 1: like them being on the boat like searching for whatever. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was the they're really going for this hyper stylized yea,
Speaker 1: every frame is foggy, yes, actually yeah, because they are
Speaker 1: like very moody shots of like diners, a lot of neon.
Speaker 1: There you go. I love it. But then the other
Speaker 1: clip I saw was I think it was Reggie or
Speaker 1: someone that the clip of that guy saying look I'm
Speaker 1: a WEIRDO. Okay, I'm weird, that's my thing or whatever
Speaker 1: it was in paraphrasing, yes, yes, this is this is
Speaker 1: a sort of like Donnie Dark esque narrator who you
Speaker 1: can tell that they take that character deeply seriously. And
Speaker 1: I and I would be willing to guess that They're like,
Speaker 1: we'll get you an Emmy nod for Wait, we're talking
Speaker 1: about Yeah. I think Julio. Julie was telling me over
Speaker 1: text one day because I like, I saw that clip
Speaker 1: and I was and I knew who he was watching,
Speaker 1: Riverdal and I was like, I just saw this clip.
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous, and he was like, oh yeah, but you
Speaker 1: know that God that actor is like texting his manager like, hey,
Speaker 1: like this is the tape. Just just just following up.
Speaker 1: I think this is my free consideration submitsition like deth
Speaker 1: least that yes, it's it's a it's a deathly serious performance.
Speaker 1: Desperate Housewives and Lost were also the two shows that
Speaker 1: got me into and I hate that this was a
Speaker 1: big part of my personality when I was in high school.
Speaker 1: But I would go on like online and go to
Speaker 1: the forums like the like the like gold Derby was
Speaker 1: the website I went to and like really talk about
Speaker 1: who was going to win Emmy's like I really cared
Speaker 1: about and I was into the race. I knew what
Speaker 1: everyone's tapes were. Yeah, I knew. I knew what everyone's
Speaker 1: tapes were. I still know that Terry Hatcher submitted the
Speaker 1: episode Impossible season one and Felicity Hoffman one submitting the pilot.
Speaker 1: What let me tell you, nobody thought that Felicity Hoffman
Speaker 1: would in the Emmy. They thought it was all Terry Hatcher.
Speaker 1: They your forum or I think that the industry on
Speaker 1: the Forum, we're all like, it's gotta be Terry Hatcher.
Speaker 1: It's gotta be Terry Hatcher. But Emmys are gonna want
Speaker 1: their own. I was a husband speech, and that's what
Speaker 1: everyone was saying. The narrative was that Terry Hatcher, despite
Speaker 1: I think everyone knowing the most talented person on the show.
Speaker 1: What I think the juiciest role was Marsha Cross. Well,
Speaker 1: Felicity has amazing. I just thought she got shitty material.
Speaker 1: Did in Felicity when the Golden Globe for Transamerica? Yes,
Speaker 1: she was a winner for Desperate Housewives, and she was
Speaker 1: the only one got it, gotta got it. And then
Speaker 1: I think, um, Mrs McCluskey wont like a guest Emmy. Um.
Speaker 1: But for me, I thought, for me, what I remember
Speaker 1: about Desperate Housewives is Eva Longoria and Nicola Sheridan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're there like the tramps. I always say, like I
Speaker 1: always tell Um Bowen and Sam that their next Live
Speaker 1: on broad Gay should be the pilot at Desperate Housewives,
Speaker 1: And I'm Eadie, oh yeah, yes, is that on the pilot.
Speaker 1: It is in the pilot. IM just washing my car
Speaker 1: and then just like her, like really holing it up
Speaker 1: on the street. You know what line reading I still
Speaker 1: remember to this day from Eadie from Nicolete Sheridan is
Speaker 1: when she I think it's the second or third episode
Speaker 1: is Terry Hodg was talking to Mike Telfino, Susan's talking
Speaker 1: to Mike and then Dye shows up and she hands
Speaker 1: Mike a sausage putinesca y. Yeah, yeah, yeah she was.
Speaker 1: She was sizing up tery agra one time, and she
Speaker 1: just goes you clever, little shrewd. Truly entertainment created by
Speaker 1: a gay man for young gay men, Yes, using uh
Speaker 1: woman as props, and it's but they were so happy
Speaker 1: about it was it's it's the sort of show Bis
Speaker 1: version of just playing with barbies. It's the show Bids
Speaker 1: version of it, as Cold School would say, like trying
Speaker 1: on mommy's dresses, and by a gay man who insisted
Speaker 1: in that every episode be that be the title of
Speaker 1: a Sondheim song you Gotta come on. Queer art, queer art,
Speaker 1: one of them. We are the ladies who lunge every day,
Speaker 1: little every day, a little time. But I have to say,
Speaker 1: the funniest part about Desperate House Lives is you could
Speaker 1: tell they made the show and they were like, this
Speaker 1: is fun. We know we don't you know, it's great.
Speaker 1: And they were all like genuinely happy to just have
Speaker 1: those parts and be able to be leads on the tellos,
Speaker 1: and they truly became the superstars of television. And then
Speaker 1: you can see it all getting to their heads and
Speaker 1: they were like, no, I want the juicy, dramatic storyline
Speaker 1: with me. It's my That was funny. Came very early
Speaker 1: on though, that's for the rest of their Yeah, there,
Speaker 1: it's it's so it's so incredible. Can you imagine bowing
Speaker 1: for a second that Okay, so you are with a
Speaker 1: group of your peers and you, presumably, as legend has it,
Speaker 1: say that you want to be at the center of
Speaker 1: the photo shoot, right, and you you have this very
Speaker 1: if this is what happened, you have this very selfish moment.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine that that the ripple effect of that
Speaker 1: request just echoing and echoing through decades, the point where
Speaker 1: like three up and coming Brooklyn comedians in the year
Speaker 1: TV are still calling her out on the audacity on
Speaker 1: this unforgivable I'm thankful. I've never felt more open. For God,
Speaker 1: It's insane because I I have sent like emails. I
Speaker 1: have sent my emails that, oh my goodness, if I
Speaker 1: if you were the terry in those emails, if they were,
Speaker 1: if the if the young gays were to find out,
Speaker 1: they'd still be talking about I don't think. I don't think,
Speaker 1: but I have had like small moments where I've been like,
Speaker 1: this is how it has to happen. I love it.
Speaker 1: You have to be like that. I was following one
Speaker 1: of Julio's email chains with this Edinburgh, this Edinburgh residence.
Speaker 1: What you read the what was? I think I read
Speaker 1: a few of the things, but you were just like, um,
Speaker 1: you were I forget what it was, but you were
Speaker 1: just very reasonably resolute with what you wanted. You were like, um,
Speaker 1: I forget it specifically what was? But I remember reading
Speaker 1: that chain. I was like, yeah, no, Julio's right. I
Speaker 1: was put up in a hotel room for it was
Speaker 1: the hotel. It was about the hotel. It's always about
Speaker 1: the hotel. It was always about the hotel I was.
Speaker 1: I was put in a hotel room recently at this
Speaker 1: very nice hotel. But the the view was just overlooked
Speaker 1: the courtyard, which is restive and unacceptable. Oh my, yes,
Speaker 1: and it's well, it's gonna be a month. But even
Speaker 1: even so, I mean like, this is a lesson in
Speaker 1: advocating for your salesman's and picking your your battles. I
Speaker 1: think because I am a very reasonable vegan. I am
Speaker 1: a vegan. I have that di restriction, but I'll go
Speaker 1: to any restaurants. Work. You have made it work multiplications
Speaker 1: when moving now together. Yes, it's like Nicki Minaj says,
Speaker 1: if I show up to a photo shoot and there's
Speaker 1: some sliced pickles on a board, no, you know what,
Speaker 1: I am gonna leave. So if I accepted the pickle juice,
Speaker 1: I would be drinking pickle juice right now. They don't
Speaker 1: ask jay Z you know what when jay Z does
Speaker 1: something like that, based he's when when Wayne does something
Speaker 1: that I think that he's stuff. Um. But this Wholio
Speaker 1: is saying that this is a lesson in picking your
Speaker 1: battles because you're reasonably again, you're a reasonable eater. But
Speaker 1: when it comes to a hotel room view, it must
Speaker 1: meet a standard and they will walk over you as
Speaker 1: a gay man. That I don't think that, I think
Speaker 1: think a couple. Did I ever work in a hotel?
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm not talking about the hotel work. I'm
Speaker 1: talking about people in general. Like they think, oh, if
Speaker 1: he has a request, it's just fun. It's just like
Speaker 1: he's just being like, you know, you're looked at it
Speaker 1: with a certain sense of more like you're like you're
Speaker 1: petty because you're petty, and that's funny. Yeah, when when
Speaker 1: you're dealing with people, it's like, I think, I think
Speaker 1: that you are taking least seriously as a wife, and
Speaker 1: then gay man and then straight man. I don't know
Speaker 1: if this is connected to that thesis or not, but
Speaker 1: I think that I spend a lot of my day
Speaker 1: just uh convincing people, perhaps deceptively, o perhaps truthfully that
Speaker 1: I am not as difficult as you might think I am.
Speaker 1: I agree, though, I think it's I think it's truth.
Speaker 1: I think that's truthful. Oh yeah, it is. You know
Speaker 1: how many people, Well Henry, when I first started dating him,
Speaker 1: said to me about Bowen, and this is from coming
Speaker 1: from another game man. He's like, I didn't expect Boonen
Speaker 1: to be so nice because online presence is so severe.
Speaker 1: A boy who eats the mcflury every day he's left,
Speaker 1: do not put that on the atmosphere. He'll be like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm healthy. Henry loves Halo tops. Now what's a Halo talk.
Speaker 1: It's this creation that they've found out that it's like
Speaker 1: a substitute ice cream. Just don't eat any type of
Speaker 1: ice cream. There you go, that's hard for people who
Speaker 1: love ice cream. I'm a garbage, I'm trash. I will
Speaker 1: eat anything if it's bad for me. That's what I need.
Speaker 1: I just want to close the loop on this vanity fair.
Speaker 1: Shoot the conversation, because we're not done with her. We're
Speaker 1: not done with her in life. You're either in moment
Speaker 1: to moment you're either a Terry Hatcher demanding to be
Speaker 1: in the center, or your Marshal Cross calling that ship
Speaker 1: out and being like, no, there should be no center.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm tapping on the table. There should be
Speaker 1: no center. Is that? Is that? Is that how the
Speaker 1: legend goes that it was Martians who I don't know
Speaker 1: who it was that put their foot down and said
Speaker 1: this is stupid. But all I know it should have
Speaker 1: been all in a rotating platform and it should have
Speaker 1: been a gift. It was a fold out cover. I
Speaker 1: remember what they should have because you're you know what
Speaker 1: they should have done was they should have done that
Speaker 1: novelty cover thing where you didn't know who like that's
Speaker 1: you collect every kind like sometimes you get well with
Speaker 1: Terry in the middle. Sometimes you get one with seven
Speaker 1: different that's what they want, different prints, Oh man, make
Speaker 1: them all seem like miserable nightmares. I mean, come on,
Speaker 1: I you know what we can We can choose to
Speaker 1: be the Terrys in our lives or the Marcia's you
Speaker 1: and and if these are the two choices that I
Speaker 1: don't think you ever you were ever not Marcia. I
Speaker 1: don't think you ever not calling people out on there
Speaker 1: me specifically, wow, okay, that you point at things and
Speaker 1: go that's classes a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, And
Speaker 1: I don't but I could do a better job of
Speaker 1: balancing that out with the Terry Hatter side of demanding,
Speaker 1: of demanding something yeah, but not necessarily deserved. What was
Speaker 1: her claim to wanting the center I guess it's like
Speaker 1: the only two of them that are still working are
Speaker 1: Eva and um Felicity. Felicity has has a marquee role
Speaker 1: on the anthology American Crime, and I think that she'll
Speaker 1: work forever she does. She has like the lead part
Speaker 1: on her and Regina King. You know when I, uh
Speaker 1: in high school, when I sort of just sort of
Speaker 1: woke up and decided that I wanted to be a
Speaker 1: comedy writer. I happened. I kind of, No, that's not
Speaker 1: what happened. I had um Uh, I will get into that,
Speaker 1: but I wrote a pilot uh when I was maybe
Speaker 1: like eighteen, and I cast it. I cast it it
Speaker 1: and going I think solely by her, like Lewis and
Speaker 1: Clark credit. I cast Harry Catcher as the lead and
Speaker 1: it was like a Terry Hatcher maybe Molly Shannon role,
Speaker 1: but Terry Hatcher Molly maybe the biggest career prior she
Speaker 1: I as a child, I thought she was on Lowis
Speaker 1: and Clark. I was like, that is the most beautiful woman.
Speaker 1: She score job. Yeah, and I also casted Jane Karkowski
Speaker 1: based solely on Ally McBeal icon. Yeah, that's you know what,
Speaker 1: that's that's the seed that that's where all this, that's
Speaker 1: the the seed crystal. Okay, should we move on. Jane
Speaker 1: Krikhowski always keeps coming back in something fierce, like she's
Speaker 1: always she's so funny, she's so good. And also she
Speaker 1: actually to bring it back. Was in the Tony musical,
Speaker 1: The Tony Musical, the Broadway Musical nine, and she wanted
Speaker 1: Tony for that performance. She played the role that Penelope
Speaker 1: Cruz plays in the movie I didn't and she wanted
Speaker 1: Tony her a call from the Vatican was like, from
Speaker 1: the call from the Vatican, that's the best. That character's
Speaker 1: big number. That another number, it's a ballot called simple
Speaker 1: later in the show. But hers was like, very this
Speaker 1: is this is sort of based an eight and a half. Yes,
Speaker 1: almost directly so, uh, but she um had a very
Speaker 1: famous performance of that number because she came down upside
Speaker 1: down from the top of the ceiling and lowered and
Speaker 1: and then did the whole number and then like the
Speaker 1: number ended with her going back up. Descending and ascending
Speaker 1: is so funny. It's never not funny. Super Bowl Whippy
Speaker 1: goldending and ascending is very difficult to achieve that it is.
Speaker 1: It is very very funny. I love it. Beyonce is
Speaker 1: descended twice from the from the v M as she
Speaker 1: came down baby boy and then what was this? What
Speaker 1: was the second one? Bring here's one of the most
Speaker 1: uh I And I don't think that this is talked
Speaker 1: about enough. But the most embarrassing part about being a performer,
Speaker 1: I think isn't performing or like being seen, or like
Speaker 1: even like bombing, is leaving the stage because there is
Speaker 1: no there is no good way of doing it. I've
Speaker 1: discovered how I Alyssa Edwards my way off the stage.
Speaker 1: Now I point and I just embarrassing. I wish it
Speaker 1: could be a blackout and I could uh not be
Speaker 1: there at all. Don't think about it anymore. Just leave confidently,
Speaker 1: and then norm will think about it. I think if
Speaker 1: there's anyone, I don't think anyone thinking about it, but
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about it. You you can invent the news
Speaker 1: the new way in which people like fit. I think
Speaker 1: this is so true. It's it is embarrassing. See. I
Speaker 1: think it's triumphant. Okay, all right, I think I think
Speaker 1: it's a frame of mind. I think it's a state
Speaker 1: of mind. I think coming out is worse no entering.
Speaker 1: There's more at stake, and and entering is heaven, entering
Speaker 1: is hello er. I don't know. I think I think
Speaker 1: a lot is decided in the first minute, so I
Speaker 1: think that your entrance is a part of that. And
Speaker 1: I've thought more about my entrances than I have my exits.
Speaker 1: I almost never think about my exit because I have
Speaker 1: never successfully exited a performance. I think my dream exit
Speaker 1: is Margaret Hamilton's just melting, no cloud of fucking red smoke. Oh,
Speaker 1: the first exit, the explosion, and she gets like taken
Speaker 1: down in an elevator. That's that's pretty good. That's a
Speaker 1: pretty high tech request. See, I think you'll get rightfully
Speaker 1: read by the tech crew. But I will I will
Speaker 1: make a terry hat to ask demanding exiting a stage.
Speaker 1: I just realized it's almost as bad as being seen
Speaker 1: coming out of a bathroom. Wow. And with that we
Speaker 1: should move on to I don't think so honey, um,
Speaker 1: because our guest has somewhere to go. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey student, I'm going to hate. I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey. Is the centerpiece of our show? Is the
Speaker 1: moment is at the end? Yes, the culmination really the
Speaker 1: moment that you gag for we're going to take one
Speaker 1: minute a rail against something in culture. But when do
Speaker 1: you have something I don't do? You know? Um? And
Speaker 1: that's very on brand for us, although I could sort
Speaker 1: of go off on something. Actually you know what, I
Speaker 1: will okay, all right, and her of our guests and
Speaker 1: never guess, Okay, this is gonna be um great, this
Speaker 1: is Matt Rodgers. I don't think so, Honey. Time starts now,
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. If you come for Kelly Clarkson, ever,
Speaker 1: don't you ever do this? Do you don't understand how
Speaker 1: much this girl has struggled? No, because you know what.
Speaker 1: She doesn't let you know. She just comes out there,
Speaker 1: plants her god damn feet, sings her fucking heart out,
Speaker 1: and she leaves the stage. Bitch. She has been through struggle,
Speaker 1: and I know that because I am too big of
Speaker 1: a fan. But the fact that she has just been
Speaker 1: there for us for the last sixteen I'm gonna makeup
Speaker 1: years and the fact that you never see her sweat
Speaker 1: but she's been through it means that is a superstar.
Speaker 1: She is the American idol. The American people fell in
Speaker 1: love with her, and that is no mistake. And when
Speaker 1: you come in here and you call her Starbucks. And
Speaker 1: when you come in here and you call her base
Speaker 1: and you call me Starbucks and you call me Basic.
Speaker 1: And if that's the case, bitch, meet me outside. I
Speaker 1: will meet you there and I'll be a belt and
Speaker 1: catch a breath, which is a little known single that
Speaker 1: should have been top of the charts, but the industry
Speaker 1: is out to get her more. Austin, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: That's one minute. Wow. Did you just say that she
Speaker 1: doesn't let us know that she's been through struggle because
Speaker 1: that isn't what every song is about. That is That's
Speaker 1: okay because you know the constant reminder her music, her music,
Speaker 1: Her music is for you. It's not for her. She
Speaker 1: lets you live her song. She is. Matt has said
Speaker 1: she's the ultimate treadmill queen. Her treads are designed for
Speaker 1: the treadmill. So she's harnessing her her vulnerability and her struggle.
Speaker 1: But she's just you know, you're never going to hear
Speaker 1: about her feuding with another pop star in the news. Yes, no,
Speaker 1: she she seems to me like a very genuine, beautiful person.
Speaker 1: But I think that I it's sort of in the
Speaker 1: same area as Christmas where it's like, I, you know what,
Speaker 1: they're popular, people like it. I don't get it. I
Speaker 1: don't The part of my brain that should react to
Speaker 1: it isn't there. I understand that their pure joy, but
Speaker 1: um yeah, no, sure, okay, it's just that Julio has
Speaker 1: has called her Starbucks, and I like Starbucks. I like
Speaker 1: I like Starbucks. In fact, they know my name and
Speaker 1: the Midtown Starbucks they know my name at the sight.
Speaker 1: Whenever I've been to a Starbucks, I have pretended not
Speaker 1: to know what their sizes, the names of their sizes.
Speaker 1: And I always do that because I reflect Europe, to
Speaker 1: give in to their to their lingo. I get that
Speaker 1: to power play. Um okay, bone, are you ready? Um?
Speaker 1: Should I be preparing one of these? You need to
Speaker 1: have one? Bitch? No, it's fine, it's it's it's sometimes
Speaker 1: it's better when it just comes to you in the moment.
Speaker 1: But having just said I need to have one, bit,
Speaker 1: so I when you start thinking of one, So so
Speaker 1: I'll go and then you can start thinking of one.
Speaker 1: Here we go. This is I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: and his time starts now. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Swell a bottle. The new trendy Swell bottles. I have
Speaker 1: one right here, honey, and I love it. But this
Speaker 1: is the problem. I don't think so, honey, Swell Bottles.
Speaker 1: You do a bad job of masking the disgusting odor
Speaker 1: of my own saliva. And Honey, I don't want to
Speaker 1: be reminded that I have bad saliva. And I know
Speaker 1: why people, And look, I'm putting myself on blast, and
Speaker 1: that is how badly I need to put this message
Speaker 1: out there. I don't think so many Swell Bottles. I
Speaker 1: wash you every day, but you still, for some reason,
Speaker 1: you have this weird odor. I don't know. It's not
Speaker 1: something in me I have. I have great oral hygiene,
Speaker 1: but you're making me think. You're making me second guess myself.
Speaker 1: And I don't think so honey, Swell Bottles for making
Speaker 1: me think that something is wrong with my saliva. I
Speaker 1: don't want to have to think about, you know, minus
Speaker 1: saliva not doing its job breaking down carbohydrates in my
Speaker 1: mouth as I'm masticating and chewing on on carbohydrates. Honey,
Speaker 1: I don't think so many Swell bottles for being the
Speaker 1: warby Parker. I guess kill me of fucking insulating water. Bottles.
Speaker 1: But I don't think so, honey, Swell bottles for just
Speaker 1: pushing this lifestyle on me, I did making me think
Speaker 1: I'm less than because of my disgusting salive. I don't
Speaker 1: think so many Swell bottles. It's just it's it's it's
Speaker 1: making me feel very insecure about myself and about What
Speaker 1: you don't like about Swell bottles is that they retain
Speaker 1: the odor of my saliva after one use. And I
Speaker 1: think that's not that you haven't felt this with other Listen.
Speaker 1: I will. I will go to the gym and take
Speaker 1: you know, Equinox. I'll go to Equinox thank you with um,
Speaker 1: you know, just a bottle from the juice press that
Speaker 1: they have in each of their locations, and I'll use
Speaker 1: it just fine. And look, it's bad for the environment,
Speaker 1: I know, but at least I don't smell my disgusting
Speaker 1: breath on them. But for Swell, for some reason, it
Speaker 1: sticks to the metal. I want to see a breakdown
Speaker 1: of your spending it where it goes, because I'm very
Speaker 1: very curious. I've just I've am I okay, um, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to say I'm myself financially responsible. Don't say
Speaker 1: that but I I will reward myself when I think
Speaker 1: it's okay. Here's the question, where where don't you reward yourself?
Speaker 1: What are the what are the areas where you most
Speaker 1: people would spend more money than you spend less restaurants?
Speaker 1: You don't go to restaurants. I don't. I'll go to them.
Speaker 1: I just don't like there are some people who will
Speaker 1: just spend like more money than is than I would
Speaker 1: ever ever would on a meal I would. I'll never
Speaker 1: seek out like a fancy restaurant to go to. UM.
Speaker 1: I'll keep it pretty fast, casual, pretty casual. UM. That's it. Roommates.
Speaker 1: I have roommates. And what else do I not splurge on.
Speaker 1: Let's look, I splurge on a lot. He spends that's great, Yes,
Speaker 1: spend the money. I bought a Nintendo Switch yesterday. I
Speaker 1: felt like I deserved. This is I don't know if
Speaker 1: you've covered this on the podcast, but you two comparable
Speaker 1: to the Journey of the Mayflower in its grandiosity and
Speaker 1: it's audacity. Took that what was it a hundred of
Speaker 1: fifty car ride to a Taylor Swift. Absolutely absolutely, and
Speaker 1: that status, just that sentence is so disgusting and let
Speaker 1: me tell you how expensive the fucking margharita's the margharita
Speaker 1: is in quotes we had when we got there where
Speaker 1: they they certainly didn't taste like that alcohol. And then
Speaker 1: they were each I spent and the beers were fourteen.
Speaker 1: It was crazy. I was like, I know how much
Speaker 1: money we're giving away right now. But it's like Taylor
Speaker 1: and now a different time. It was a different time.
Speaker 1: It was, it was different time, and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden the world changed, yea, and no one could
Speaker 1: remain a political without absolutely, but she managed too. But
Speaker 1: now she's been gone for a long time, and I
Speaker 1: have a theory, and before we get to Julio's, I
Speaker 1: don't think it's funny. I want to say this theory.
Speaker 1: I think that Taylor Swift is going to come back,
Speaker 1: and I think she's rebranding right now, and I think
Speaker 1: she's waiting because everyone is coming out with your music
Speaker 1: right now. I think Taylor Swift is going to come back,
Speaker 1: and I think that it will be smart for her
Speaker 1: to go in the direction of being like the next
Speaker 1: like Pat Benatar. I think she's going to come back
Speaker 1: like with a really hard image like I've been through
Speaker 1: ship you put me through, and I like a dark
Speaker 1: phoenix rising from the As you see her met ball
Speaker 1: looks getting a little like more metallic and strange, and
Speaker 1: like I think that she I think I think her
Speaker 1: her good girl days are well in the past. I
Speaker 1: think was her exploring them more like risky side of
Speaker 1: her personality. And I think she is going to respond
Speaker 1: to the dragging that she's been through with some sort
Speaker 1: of like dark Taylor, and I think it's a good thing, okay, alright,
Speaker 1: I think will result interesting music. And also I heard
Speaker 1: a rumor she's trying to make it a hip hip
Speaker 1: hop album. Furious guys, we're gonna propa see it now.
Speaker 1: If Taylor Swift comes out with the hip hop album next,
Speaker 1: we will write the stream and we're gonna buy it. Okay.
Speaker 1: So I am sending one text message to the real
Speaker 1: church saying that I will be a little late. We're
Speaker 1: so sorry. Well we'll get you out of here. And no, no, please,
Speaker 1: I hope you edit that out. I yeah, okay, um,
Speaker 1: here we go. I will I will want to hear
Speaker 1: a whole transcript and I will choose what remains in
Speaker 1: the podcasts. But for now, yours Julio taures Is. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. And your time starts now, how
Speaker 1: much time is it? One minute? Oh, that's too much.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think so, honey. Uh. Atheists who
Speaker 1: observed Christmas, I don't think. I don't. If you actively
Speaker 1: reject having a god all year, but then at the
Speaker 1: end of the year you give in because you want
Speaker 1: present and see your family, then stop masquerading you're a Christian.
Speaker 1: You accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior. Don't.
Speaker 1: Don't for a second tell me that you are that
Speaker 1: you are an atheist. No, you can't. You can't have
Speaker 1: it both ways. You cannot absolutely have it both ways.
Speaker 1: Stop looking at us. It's your time. Fifteen seconds. Uh,
Speaker 1: stop stop observing Christmas, and don't go to the birthday
Speaker 1: of this person who hates you. Yes. Seconds. If you stand,
Speaker 1: if you stick to the to the biblical God, then
Speaker 1: you know we are abomination. So don't go to his birthday. Listen,
Speaker 1: Christmas is post religious at this point. I think everyone
Speaker 1: everyone culture Christmas culture, every everyone says that Christmas is
Speaker 1: it's just buying. So I mean, I'm not saying anything
Speaker 1: that hasn't been said your takedown of Christmas. Don't observe it?
Speaker 1: Stop it? Why does the moment close on Christmas when
Speaker 1: they are profiting out of so many artists that have
Speaker 1: struggled because of Christianity? Well, there you go. If you
Speaker 1: can spin this in a way that speaks that, that
Speaker 1: speaks truth to power, then I'm on board. So MoMA,
Speaker 1: leave your doors open on Christmas. Yeah? I agree, there
Speaker 1: you go. That's that's that's ignore it. Ignore it. Um.
Speaker 1: But you're saying, don't even see your family, like I
Speaker 1: I understand not? Wow? Okay, all right? Do you not
Speaker 1: observe Christmas? I do not observe Christmas? No? What hell
Speaker 1: do they do? You observe my birthday? Which is when
Speaker 1: February eleven? That's a perfect birthday for you, is it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What does that make you an aquarious squarious? I don't
Speaker 1: really know what that means. I will say this, we
Speaker 1: cannot be atheists and believe wholesale in astrology either. Can
Speaker 1: I be agnology? Yeah? I agree, we have to. We
Speaker 1: have to reserve some skepticism towards this, you know, basic pseudoscience. Okay,
Speaker 1: that was my little stupid soapo. No, I totally get that.
Speaker 1: I feel as the I'm agnostic because you can't know anything.
Speaker 1: You won't. I feel as though I'm agnostic because you can't,
Speaker 1: because that is the definition of agnosticism. You can only
Speaker 1: know the self, and that is solipsism. Wow, wow, guys,
Speaker 1: this has been a fantastic episode. We love our guest
Speaker 1: Toio Tores so much. Thank you for being and where.
Speaker 1: It's truly a joy, it really is. And we don't
Speaker 1: get to see you enough. No we don't, that's true.
Speaker 1: But look, it's the summer. It's the summer. But it
Speaker 1: is the summer. You're going to be across the pond
Speaker 1: in August. But we will see you. But where where
Speaker 1: can they find you? On the internet? Oh? I I
Speaker 1: like exiting stage. I couldn't possibly give my Twitter hand.
Speaker 1: But that you know what, you want to follow him
Speaker 1: to embarrassing yourself? There you go. It's too American. It's
Speaker 1: it's you said, it's too embarrassing. Being American is embarrassing. Absolutely. Um, listen, guys,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I'm at Rogers and Yang. That's
Speaker 1: vires by what we should We should sign off in
Speaker 1: a in a desperate Housewivee's way, okay, which is yes, yes,
Speaker 1: everything does come to an end, but every end is
Speaker 1: the beginning that was like really bad, bye bye bye.
Speaker 1: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 1: Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsay, and Brett Bom. For more podcasts,
Speaker 1: please visit Forever Dog Productions dot com