1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: I hate my husband's best friend. Now he wants a divorce. 2 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,160 Speaker 1: My thirty two female husband forty one male, decided to 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: host a friend of his at our house for two weeks. 4 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,040 Speaker 1: I normally enjoy house guests, but this friend is a 5 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: walking red flag. And I am twenty seven weeks pregnant 6 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: with three children, five male, three female, one male, and 7 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: I will call this friend Dick. His name Oh this 8 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: comes from Pups and SUPs on the arslash Okay storytime subreddit. 9 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: So Dick abandoned his pregnant wife and stepdaughter eight years 10 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 1: ago without a word. They were left with no money 11 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: and no clue what happened to him. For months, he 12 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 1: wouldn't even pick up the phone, not even on his 13 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: daughter's birthday. I know because my husband and I took 14 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,239 Speaker 1: them in and had them stay with us while they 15 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: were trying to figure things out. The vicious comments to 16 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,360 Speaker 1: her about her weight and appearance before he disappeared all 17 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: made sense when it came out that he was living 18 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,959 Speaker 1: with another woman he had been cheating on her with 19 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: throughout the pregnancy. She was pregnant, That's why she was 20 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 1: gaining weight. There was a human growing inside her, growing 21 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,120 Speaker 1: on you Bell didn't know until after the whole incident 22 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: that my husband knew the whole time exactly what his 23 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 1: friend was doing and said nothing complicit, implicit? Is it 24 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: his monkey and circus? 25 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: It's his monkey and circus. 26 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: Should he do the classic okay storytime move of the 27 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: anonymous The anonymous tell anonymous, tell like, Hey, you don't 28 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: know me, but you don't is cheating me? Wink, your 29 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,560 Speaker 1: husband is cheating me. Your husband is cheating on you. 30 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:40,480 Speaker 2: Your husband evidence through a fake account. Yeah, you slip evidence, 31 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:41,960 Speaker 2: You slip a little letter under the door. 32 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:45,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, virtually watching you. In my opinion, he failed to 33 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: protect the vulnerable woman and child and chose to protect 34 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: his friend. In his opinion, he told his friend it 35 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: was wrong, but it was not his place to say anything. 36 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: You know, I've seen both sides of this argument, you know, 37 00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 1: I've I've seen not my monkey, not my circus, and 38 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: I've seen you should tell someone who is being affected 39 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: by cheating that that this is happening. I think what 40 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:08,359 Speaker 1: we've come to on the show that the best way 41 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: to do it is just to say something anonymously, especially 42 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,799 Speaker 1: if you don't have a relationship with that person. 43 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, if you do then I should think you. 44 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,600 Speaker 1: Should tell them if like, if they're if the husband 45 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,520 Speaker 1: friend and your if your husband is friends with that 46 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: guy's with your husband's friend's wife, then you should tell 47 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 1: because of his relationship there. If not, it should just be. 48 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: Anonymous agreed in his opinion. He told his friend it 49 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 1: was wrong, but it was on his place to anything. 50 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: He also saw the bawling toddler on her birthday wondering 51 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: where her dad was. 52 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 2: And again, also, why would you want to be friends 53 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 2: with this person? 54 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: Yeah? Exactly. Over the years, I've always kept my guard 55 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 1: up around this friend. I opt out of outings that 56 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: include him. I am cordial at best and unfriendly generally 57 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: to him. I honestly cannot forgive Dick, even eight years later, 58 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 1: despite knowing my feelings. It's Dick. My husband invites him 59 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 1: to stay at our home for long stretches. He says, 60 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,959 Speaker 1: I am not allowed to disagree about Dick staying to disagree? 61 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 2: What is this? A freaking. 62 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:14,200 Speaker 1: Yes? 63 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:19,480 Speaker 2: I gotta be honest. I didn't realize I was making 64 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 2: that pun until it came out of mine. 65 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:25,119 Speaker 1: It was great. I need to be friendly to him 66 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: and nice when he is around, because he didn't harm 67 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: me or my children personally. Dear husband says he's allowed 68 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 1: to have friends, and I'm being unreasonable for the situation. 69 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: But if you have friends that have these kind of. 70 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:37,920 Speaker 2: Morals, yeah, why would you be go on to be friends? 71 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: So does that not say something about you. My husband 72 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: manages a small business and it takes up his time 73 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: at odd hours. I work a very demanding job and 74 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,600 Speaker 1: travel frequently, but it allows me to contribute on par 75 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: with my husband. At the time of Dick's arrival, I 76 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,880 Speaker 1: was gone or working long hours far from home the 77 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 1: whole first week he was there. On the weekend, I 78 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: was looking forward on spending time with my children. It 79 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: had been very hard working fifty five hours that week 80 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: while very pregnant OPI he's pregnant. 81 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 2: By the way, he's still fringing pregnant. 82 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: And I admittedly had a short fuse. My husband tried 83 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: to insist that Dick take all the kids to the 84 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 1: beach down the street without us while we catch up 85 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,000 Speaker 1: on work I could not do while I was working 86 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 1: long hours, and I lost it. I was extremely upset 87 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: that my husband was trying to force the kids off 88 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:27,640 Speaker 1: with someone I do not trust. In bathing suits for hours. 89 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: It might have been the pregnancy hormones, but I was 90 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 1: scared for the kids and did not want them around 91 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:36,600 Speaker 1: Dick at all. After that, Dick mercifully only drove the 92 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: kids to the end of the street and brought them 93 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:40,640 Speaker 1: back because of how upset I was about the whole thing. 94 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,279 Speaker 1: Dick does not have custody of his own children with 95 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,560 Speaker 1: two different women, and it was at my house for 96 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: Father's Day instead of seeing them really quick. Do we 97 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 1: think that reaction from OPI is warranted with Dick's behavior. 98 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 2: I think I understand the pregnancy hormones, especially like maybe 99 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: a little bit much, but one pregnancy hormones and two 100 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 2: he has said she's uncomfortable and the husband has said 101 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 2: I don't care. 102 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think it does feel maybe a 103 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: little bit much to be like that distrustful of the 104 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: husband's friend. But again we have seen his morals, Yeah, 105 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: and the morals are not high. And do you want 106 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:26,440 Speaker 1: your kids being influenced by someone, even if it's not 107 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: like a even if it's not like a whole, like 108 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: if he's not a PDF or groomer or whatever, right 109 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 1: like Sophie Collins, as you never know, he could be 110 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 1: a grooomer, even if it's not that. Do you want 111 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,359 Speaker 1: your kid hanging out. 112 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 2: With someone one woman just cheat on you? 113 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah? Do you want your like your person your 114 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:49,279 Speaker 1: kid's influenced by that? I don't think so. I do 115 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 1: think it's a little bit far to go the whole 116 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: bathing suit route. But I understand pregnancy hormones and all 117 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,640 Speaker 1: that too. But let me know what you guys think. 118 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,560 Speaker 1: Do you think she's justified in saying that? Do you 119 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: think not? Let us know. I don't know any of 120 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 1: the custody or divorce information, but a dad not seeing 121 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,160 Speaker 1: their own children while spending time with other children is 122 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,279 Speaker 1: a red flag to me. Dick and my husband have 123 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: been good friends for longer than I have known them, 124 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,279 Speaker 1: and my dear husband is livid that I cannot trust Dick. 125 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: Dear husband is usually laid back in kind, but he 126 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 1: has yelled and started swearing at me because of my 127 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: refusal to get along with Dick. Here is where I'm 128 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,600 Speaker 1: probably the a hole. The next day, after I lost 129 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,719 Speaker 1: it on my husband about Dick taking the kids without supervision, 130 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: I tried to work out a schedule where I could 131 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:35,680 Speaker 1: spend time with the kids and with my husband my 132 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,479 Speaker 1: husband let me know that I could spend time with 133 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,480 Speaker 1: my one year old during nap time because he doesn't 134 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: want to spend any time around me while I'm acting 135 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,359 Speaker 1: upset with him and Dick. Let him know that I 136 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 1: am taking the kids and he can spend all the 137 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,400 Speaker 1: time with Dick he wants. Took the kids out for 138 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,599 Speaker 1: a fun day stayed at a hotel with them to 139 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,799 Speaker 1: avoid my husband and Dick. Dear husband did not contact 140 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 1: me until late that night, and I let him know 141 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: we were safe. I didn't want to have to physically 142 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 1: get away from them, but I felt like I had 143 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: to because my husband was not allowing me to have 144 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: any say about my home or my children. I wanted 145 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,160 Speaker 1: to protect them and myself since my husband sees no 146 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: reason to protect anyone from Dick. Miss jay Bird says, 147 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: why would she trust him? D says she's justified. Dutchess 148 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:25,360 Speaker 1: Cassano says, divorce this loser. Tony's Spilacic Siliaco says, Dick 149 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:27,920 Speaker 1: will never take care of my kids until he proves 150 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: he can consistently take care of his own. Josephine medolo 151 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:36,600 Speaker 1: Berquest says, divorce, divorce, dear husband and I went to 152 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:39,840 Speaker 1: counseling the next day and he threatened divorce. 153 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 154 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: He thinks that I am completely wrong for getting away 155 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: from the house, for wanting his friend to stay at 156 00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: a hotel instead of our home, for not being a 157 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: good hostess or friend to Dick myself. I don't think 158 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: I'm being unreasonable wanting us, say, in my home late 159 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: in my pregnancy with all my young children. Really quick, 160 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: pausing right here, what do you think of you? 161 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,800 Speaker 2: I think that op is valid and not wanting him 162 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 2: in her home, and I think it shows a lot 163 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 2: about the husband's character that he still wants to be 164 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 2: friends with this guy. 165 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,559 Speaker 1: Yeah, and also have him around his kids and stay 166 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 1: so long with the fact. 167 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 2: And also and swearing at her when she's trying to 168 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 2: express feelings of uncomfortable and being good to. 169 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: Protect your home, Jenny Lopez says, plot twist, he's cheating 170 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 1: with Dick. Maybe I work really hard to provide for 171 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: my family and I don't want anything to happen to them. 172 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 1: I'm more scared to be angry, to be honest, and 173 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 1: we don't want anything to happen to you and you 174 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 1: to miss anything, So you should join us live every 175 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,680 Speaker 1: weekday at three pmpst. Just have a profile. Deer husband 176 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: thinks I'm holding a grudge, and then I hate his 177 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 1: friend because of his neglect of his family all those 178 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,400 Speaker 1: years ago. Dear husband said, I am evil for not 179 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 1: forgiving and forgetting what happened, especially since it didn't hurt 180 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,840 Speaker 1: me or my children. I think I am not being unreasonable, 181 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 1: but the way my husband keeps going on about this 182 00:08:57,440 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: being my personality and I'm just a dark, unhappy person 183 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: makes me feel like I'm going crazy. My family agrees 184 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: in a support of my actions, but I still don't 185 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 1: know if I'm the a hole here. 186 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 2: So is oppa No, I think you should get out 187 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 2: of there. I think he is kind of gaslighting you. 188 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 1: We don't know all the context. 189 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:19,120 Speaker 2: No, we love, but we do know his reaction and 190 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,199 Speaker 2: his reaction I think alone is a red flag. 191 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and the fact that he cheated, Like, let's say 192 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,720 Speaker 1: I had a friend that was, you know, swearing like 193 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:32,199 Speaker 1: a sailor, didn't have any filter, maybe was morally dubious. One, 194 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,839 Speaker 1: I don't know if I would hang out with that person, 195 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: But two, I definitely wouldn't want them around my kids. 196 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,000 Speaker 1: So if I was to hang out with them. I 197 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: would hang out with them far away from the people 198 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 1: I care about. 199 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,360 Speaker 2: Also, we I might have misunderstood, but I thought that 200 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 2: the husband I was the husband was swearing at op. 201 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: Oh husband also was swearing out. But I'm but I 202 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: I but like, yeah, the guy, I'm just this is 203 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 1: just like a scenario. Got yeah. De Cassan says gas lamping, 204 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: Her husband's gas lamping. 205 00:09:58,400 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 2: You gresh lamping? 206 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think op is. I would just take a 207 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:07,319 Speaker 1: hard look on the husband and think, like, do are 208 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,720 Speaker 1: you sure that this is someone you want to be 209 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 1: around that has friends like this? But let me know, 210 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: let me know if you think Ope is overreacting or not. 211 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,319 Speaker 2: I told my friend that I slept with his sister. 212 00:10:19,760 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 2: Now he wants to end the friendship. I wonder why so, 213 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:28,040 Speaker 2: Jason Slay says, John and I are both in our forces. 214 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 1: Oh no. 215 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 2: He was my friend through middle school and most of 216 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 2: high school. We hung out together, played the same sports, 217 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 2: did church, summer camp, et cetera. Basically we grew up together. 218 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 2: I also knew and spent time with his sister Mary. 219 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:44,760 Speaker 2: Mary is cerebral palsy and uses an electric wheelchair. 220 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: Wait, he slept with Mary we don't know yet. 221 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,440 Speaker 2: After graduating, John went to university, while I stayed back 222 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 2: home to work at my father's business and go to 223 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 2: community college part time. Mary also went to community college 224 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,160 Speaker 2: and we ended up hanging out a lot. One and 225 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 2: his family liked the idea of me being like a 226 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:07,160 Speaker 2: big brother to Mary. Oh God, Mary, but I so 227 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:11,679 Speaker 2: close and we began having spicy sleep What we weren't 228 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 2: exactly dating, but it was a lot of fun for 229 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,760 Speaker 2: both of us. Because Mary's family is very protected of her, 230 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:21,239 Speaker 2: we both agreed to keep a relationship a secret. Eventually, 231 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,199 Speaker 2: her family found out and there was an ugly confrontation 232 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 2: with me and them. They accused me of taking advantage 233 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 2: of Mary because of my familiarity with her and because 234 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:34,560 Speaker 2: she was disabled. Mary insisted she wanted the relationship, but 235 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 2: they dismissed her views like they always did. 236 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 1: I will say, is she but she's not like mentally 237 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: hire No. 238 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 2: I think that the family is being overly protective of 239 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,959 Speaker 2: her and kind of infantilizing her. 240 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 1: It seems like, dude, Mary's got to get dick down. 241 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,720 Speaker 1: Sometimes she got eased. 242 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 2: Jellybas says, hey, she got NEAs to. Mary insisted she 243 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 2: wanted the relationship, but they dismissed her views like they 244 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,400 Speaker 2: always did. One was especially angry at me, even trying 245 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 2: to start a fistfight. My father got involved and things 246 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 2: eventually settled down, but my friendship with John and his 247 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:12,320 Speaker 2: family was over. I ended up leaving the area after 248 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 2: I got my associate's degree and moved out of state 249 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,319 Speaker 2: to live with my mother. So two decades have passed. 250 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 2: I have stayed in contact with Mary, but only exchange 251 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 2: basic pleasantries with John and his family. They are still 252 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 2: connected with my father, so it's just a courtesy relationship. 253 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 2: Two weeks ago, Mary came to my city and we 254 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 2: met for lunch. I was a company event with her 255 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 2: coworkers and vendors, but I still enjoyed seeing her again 256 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 2: after so many years. We continued the evening at our 257 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,600 Speaker 2: hotel room Okay, and I ended up spending the night 258 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 2: with her. 259 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: Let's freaking go. 260 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 2: This Saturday morning, I woke up to find a message 261 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 2: from John. We've barely communicated for the last twenty years, 262 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 2: so it was startled to see his name. Apparently he'd 263 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 2: gotten around to looking at the pictures Mary and posted 264 00:12:56,360 --> 00:13:00,680 Speaker 2: from the lunch and saw me sitting next to his sister. 265 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,760 Speaker 2: She's like so adult though, Yeah, this is an adult woman, 266 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,400 Speaker 2: This is literally an adult Yeah. 267 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: Villain s MC says, this is ableism in the reverse way. 268 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:17,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, isn't just ableism. Isn't it just regular old abolism. 269 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: Well, like it's like ableism in the unverse reverse way, 270 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 1: where it's like, oh, we're trying to protect our our 271 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 1: our person to make sure she's like feel safe from everything. 272 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: It's still ablest, but it's not like it's not like, oh, 273 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 1: you can't well I guess it is, Yeah, you can't 274 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:32,240 Speaker 1: do this. 275 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just because you're you're like, oh you're you're. 276 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,839 Speaker 1: But it's not able. I guess it's like ableism from 277 00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:41,319 Speaker 1: the perspective of trying to be protective and helpful rather 278 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:47,280 Speaker 1: than and like trying to be detrimental, uh or or exclusionary. 279 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: It's basically doing that. 280 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 2: I guess that that's I think a lot of ableism 281 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 2: does come from like a place of oh you're you're, 282 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,319 Speaker 2: you're like infantilizing. It was like we had teleported back 283 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,360 Speaker 2: in time to twenty years ago, the same accusations and 284 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,719 Speaker 2: angry insult. Scott flung at me, Oh my god, get 285 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,679 Speaker 2: over it. He dredged up crap I had forgotten about 286 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 2: years ago. He ended his message warning me not to 287 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,240 Speaker 2: spend time with Mary. Mary. 288 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, but like, and who do you want to yeah, 289 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 1: your sister to be with? It's ridiculous, Like does he 290 00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:21,840 Speaker 1: go do this for every person that he dates? Yeah? 291 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 2: I was outraged by his message. Were two grown men 292 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 2: and not high school kids? How can he say those 293 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 2: things about me and his sister? In my anger, I 294 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 2: messaged him back, saying that not only did I spend 295 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 2: time with Mary, that we slept together again. Oh, he 296 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 2: should get over himself. 297 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: It correct, And here's the video. 298 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:44,120 Speaker 2: Ah. No, No, I don't think he should. I don't 299 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 2: think he should like necessarily rub like that. That's him 300 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:48,680 Speaker 2: and Mary's thing. 301 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: No, I'm not kidding. You shouldn't show a video, oh Vie. 302 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 2: I just mean in general, I don't know if you 303 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 2: should tell the brother that they slept together. It felt 304 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,200 Speaker 2: good to retaliate like that, but I immediately had doubts. 305 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,800 Speaker 2: When I talked with Mary. She wasn't upset, but she 306 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 2: made it clear that she would have preferred I just 307 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 2: ignore her brother like she does. We still are keeping 308 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,480 Speaker 2: our plans to see each other again. But I realized 309 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 2: Mary is disappointed by my childish behavior. 310 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:18,560 Speaker 1: Yeah it is. It is childish because that that's like 311 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 1: you said, it's a moment between. 312 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, Mary, Mary, and. 313 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:26,480 Speaker 1: You know she doesn't obviously her brother's already in her business. 314 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 1: She doesn't need her brother or in her business. 315 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 3: You know. 316 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 2: Yeah. So am I the a hole for my reply 317 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 2: to John? I think so, not because John, you know, 318 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 2: is a good person. He sucks, but just because it 319 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 2: affects Mary as well. 320 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,240 Speaker 1: Go to be the bigger person in the situation. 321 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,480 Speaker 2: But there is an update. 322 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:45,680 Speaker 1: I hope. 323 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,480 Speaker 2: I hope they get into a relationship. So after reading 324 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,840 Speaker 2: the comments, I am not the a hole for my 325 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 2: relationship with Mary, obviously, but my response to John was unacceptable. 326 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 2: That's fair. I've apologized to Mary and she's accepted my apology. 327 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 2: That doesn't change the fact that I screwed up for 328 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 2: sharing intimate details without first asking Mary. I am the 329 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 2: A hole. I will never do that again. 330 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:08,840 Speaker 1: Oh he learned. 331 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 2: As for the fallout of my a whole moment, John 332 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:16,000 Speaker 2: sent another nasty message that got even more personal, including 333 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 2: telling me some things about our past and my father 334 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,320 Speaker 2: that were very hurtful. Following the advice of the comments, 335 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 2: I replied calmly and then blocked him. As I mentioned 336 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 2: in my post, I will be seeing Mary again. 337 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: Let yes, Let let's freaking go. 338 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 2: I am spending this spring slash summer back home with 339 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 2: my father. After his wife passed last year, he decided 340 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 2: to wind down his business and sell our old house. 341 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 2: I will be going back there for about three months 342 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 2: to help him with the business, fix a few things 343 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 2: at the house, help him pack, and just hang out together. 344 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 2: It's several decades of memories to be put away or donated, 345 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 2: so we're taking our time. Will barbecue and go to 346 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,640 Speaker 2: baseball games like we did when I was a kid. 347 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 2: So sweet. Yeah, the Tomlessy snaps for growth. 348 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: Let's go, Let's go op. 349 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 2: Mary and I are looking forward to seeing each other 350 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 2: again this summer. Our weekend together was memorable, despite my 351 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 2: later stupidity. There's a fair chance John will come and 352 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 2: try and stir crap up again, but I'm not stressing 353 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 2: over it. Mary means a lot to me. It will 354 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,960 Speaker 2: be good to have three months to enjoy each other's 355 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:22,040 Speaker 2: company before I have to leave again, this time for good. 356 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 1: I love that. 357 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 2: This is so sweet. 358 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,200 Speaker 1: This is sweet. This is sweet. 359 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,879 Speaker 2: There's a little bit more. I'm sure Mary and I 360 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,200 Speaker 2: will stay in touch, maybe even see each other again 361 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:31,760 Speaker 2: in the future. Thank you for all the comments and messages. 362 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 2: I read them all and Mary did too. 363 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: Wait, so are they not going to end to something? 364 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: I thought and that they were going to get together? 365 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 2: We have to get together. 366 00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:42,040 Speaker 1: It was kind of cute. 367 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:42,800 Speaker 2: It is cute. 368 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: Cute. Well that's the end of that. 369 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:46,639 Speaker 2: That's the end of that story. 370 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:49,640 Speaker 1: So everyone's the whole. But we have character development. Yeah, 371 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: we except Mary. Mary's not the a hole. That's true. 372 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: If you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love 373 00:17:55,320 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 1: you and see you tomorrow. This is a setupm deep 374 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 1: within the archives. 375 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,879 Speaker 4: Time for okop rewash. 376 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 3: I don't care if you just got diagnosed with a 377 00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,960 Speaker 3: serious illness. I'm hanging up and going to this party tonight. 378 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 3: But I can explain. 379 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, don't let your death freaking rule my vibe right 380 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:22,000 Speaker 1: on my parade. Yeah, you know what real diseases. Oh 381 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 1: you're killing my vibe? Wow, Wow, Please don't kill my vibe. 382 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:30,720 Speaker 1: I'm getting that that cancer wow over my good party vibes? 383 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:33,040 Speaker 4: Bro awful? How dare you? 384 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,679 Speaker 1: How dare you? I'm literally trying to party and drink 385 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: away my pain. Brilliant and you're giving me like more pain. Wow, 386 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 1: that I know how to handle with. 387 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 3: Alcohol exactly that real life solutions from Okay, now, let's see. 388 00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:52,520 Speaker 4: If we can solve this. 389 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,239 Speaker 3: So I twenty five female, work in event planning, so 390 00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:01,640 Speaker 3: I always get invites or tickets to high end event. Yes, 391 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,199 Speaker 3: there was a huge event coming up that I was 392 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 3: really excited to go to. I asked my boyfriend twenty 393 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 3: seven mail three days before the event to accompany me, 394 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:11,600 Speaker 3: and he said yes. 395 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 1: Nice. 396 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,240 Speaker 3: So originally the plan was to be my boyfriend, my stepsister, 397 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,439 Speaker 3: and myself. However, on the day of the event, he 398 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,359 Speaker 3: said he had a doctor's appointment, so he wasn't sure 399 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,160 Speaker 3: if he could attend. Oh no, I said, no problem, 400 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 3: and I waited for him to return home. A couple 401 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:28,720 Speaker 3: of hours later, he texted me and said he had 402 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,159 Speaker 3: something to tell me. 403 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,399 Speaker 1: What does he have to tell you? 404 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,679 Speaker 4: You know, it's never never good when they have something 405 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 4: to tell you that they don't tell you. 406 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, like something simple to have a talk. 407 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, to something simple like what you have to 408 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,080 Speaker 4: talk about? I got in and out. I got chicken nuggets. 409 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 1: The life threatening illness, Yeah, I'm breaking up with you 410 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:51,600 Speaker 1: and a side of sauce. Your mom and dad don't 411 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:52,439 Speaker 1: love each other anymore. 412 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 4: Goodness, your mom loves me, yeah, instead of your dad. 413 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm your new dad. 414 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 4: Lots of options. 415 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, there's a lot of talks out there that read 416 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: his story. 417 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:00,880 Speaker 2: Yeah. 418 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:01,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. 419 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 4: I got worried and I called him immediately. 420 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 3: I asked if everything was okay, and he said he 421 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 3: was diagnosed with anemia, so he's going to have to 422 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 3: start taking supplements. 423 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,760 Speaker 1: Is that what is a media like life threatening? 424 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 4: I think if you treat it right, it's fine. 425 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,720 Speaker 3: But I think kind of like you know, back in 426 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,639 Speaker 3: the day, like if you got like, uh asthma, it 427 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:21,639 Speaker 3: could just like kill you. 428 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:22,760 Speaker 4: I think it might. 429 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 3: I've could be literally completely wrong. Yeah, that's my sense 430 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 3: of it. I expressed how sorry I was, and I 431 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 3: spoke to him for about four hours, gave him PEP 432 00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,159 Speaker 3: talks and told him that I'm here if he needs me. 433 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,080 Speaker 3: I reassured him that I always love him. I then 434 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,879 Speaker 3: asked if he would still be able to attend the 435 00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,000 Speaker 3: event with me to take his mind off things, to 436 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 3: which he responded that he doesn't like the art performances, 437 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:47,480 Speaker 3: so he'd rather go to a different event. Sorry, I said, 438 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,120 Speaker 3: no problem, I'll go with my stepsister alone. He got 439 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,359 Speaker 3: upset and hung up on me. Dang, you know he's done, 440 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,840 Speaker 3: he's done, done with that. I called him back and 441 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,760 Speaker 3: he started an argument about how I'm selfish for going 442 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,800 Speaker 3: out while he is going through something. I told him 443 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,959 Speaker 3: that I had already made the plans with my stepsister 444 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:06,760 Speaker 3: and I can't back out now as she's depending on me. 445 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:08,639 Speaker 3: I also don't drink, so I would have been the 446 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,360 Speaker 3: sober driver and if I didn't go, she could not go. 447 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 3: I told him that this event is the only event 448 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 3: my sister really wanted to attend this year, and I 449 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 3: promised her that I would take her months prior. I 450 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,600 Speaker 3: even told him I'll see him the next day, and 451 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 3: he said be safe and. 452 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,120 Speaker 4: Just hung up on me again. He's just not having it. 453 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I get it. I feel like he's like 454 00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 1: really like he just wants to talk to someone. He's 455 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,640 Speaker 1: really struggling, right, I need some support. 456 00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:32,080 Speaker 4: Yeah. 457 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:32,760 Speaker 1: Yeah. 458 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,800 Speaker 3: I got to the event around eleven and spent the 459 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,880 Speaker 3: entire event alone, just sitting down and watching the show 460 00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 3: by myself, having food and drinks. When I returned home 461 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 3: around two am. I called him and he was awake. 462 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 3: His first words were, well, well, well look who cares 463 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 3: about me again? Damn man salty. He's throwing it down, 464 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:54,880 Speaker 3: he's letting it be known. I said, I am too 465 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:57,879 Speaker 3: tired for this, and he responded by saying that, of 466 00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 3: course I'm tired. I went out without knowing and he's upset. 467 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 3: But I love partying and meeting new people so much 468 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 3: that I didn't think to stay with him on the phone. 469 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: Dango, he's stilling, really betrayed right now. 470 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 4: Yeah. 471 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 3: I told him he's being ridiculous and I would have 472 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,520 Speaker 3: stayed if it were just us who had planned to go. 473 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:19,080 Speaker 3: He said, my priorities are off and I am an 474 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,560 Speaker 3: ignorant a whole. Keep in mind, I don't attend parties 475 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,399 Speaker 3: unless it's with family, and I only attend events a 476 00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 3: few times a year. So am I the a hole 477 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,160 Speaker 3: for not staying on the phone with him and attending 478 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 3: the event instead? 479 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: I kind of want to know, how, like bad? 480 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:35,680 Speaker 4: Serious? 481 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,040 Speaker 1: Yeah? Like is this all right? Like if he was like, yo, 482 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:42,920 Speaker 1: I just got this and I'm about to die, Yeah, 483 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 1: you skip the event? 484 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 4: Yeah? 485 00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:48,000 Speaker 1: Absolutely, But if it's like life threatening, I don't know, 486 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,679 Speaker 1: like if I feel like I would, okay, depending on 487 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,119 Speaker 1: how and depending how close the friend is, which it 488 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,639 Speaker 1: seems like Ope and friend are cross they're in a relationship. Oh, 489 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:04,520 Speaker 1: they're in a relationship. Yes, oh, op boyfriend, I totally 490 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:08,320 Speaker 1: miss that. Okay, So OPI and the boyfriend have been 491 00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 1: in a relationship for how long. 492 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,119 Speaker 4: That we don't know. We don't know how long the relationship. 493 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,680 Speaker 1: I think at any at any length, any length. Yeah, yeah, 494 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:19,000 Speaker 1: Opie's a little bit the a hole at any length. 495 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,520 Speaker 1: If if, like if my if ariana said like, hey, 496 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,360 Speaker 1: I just got a diagnosed with like some life threatening 497 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:29,159 Speaker 1: illness and like I was going to a party with 498 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 1: a friend, I would be like, Yo, dude, I can't 499 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,440 Speaker 1: go to this party. I'm really sorry. You're gonna have 500 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: to find someone else, you know, Abe, I gotta get 501 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:39,320 Speaker 1: down with the boys. Yeah, with that girl. It's pretty 502 00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:42,360 Speaker 1: it's pretty shitty. It's pretty shitty. I think it's pretty shitty. Yeah, 503 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: I think. I think. I think Ops the a hole 504 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 1: for sure. 505 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, And so I looked it up. 506 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,200 Speaker 3: So just the quick google thing is anebia can lead 507 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 3: to rapid or a regular heartbeat. When your anemic, your 508 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,560 Speaker 3: heart pumps some more blood to make up for the 509 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 3: lack of oxygen. 510 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 4: This can lead to. 511 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:59,120 Speaker 3: Enlarged heart or or heart failure aka a death. So 512 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,520 Speaker 3: I think it's like, but I don't know how quickly 513 00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,760 Speaker 3: that happens, Like, like I wonder if it's kind of 514 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 3: like diabetes, where like as long as your blood sugar 515 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,919 Speaker 3: is in the right range, it's okay, but you have to, like, 516 00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,680 Speaker 3: you know, your whole life changes in that scenario where 517 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,960 Speaker 3: you have to make sure your blood sugar is correct. 518 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: So interesting, it seems like it's a serious diagnosis. Yeah, 519 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:21,919 Speaker 1: maybe it's not going to affect them right away, but 520 00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,399 Speaker 1: it's a serious diagnosis, and it's like something that you 521 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 1: want to you're gonna have to deal with and be 522 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:30,160 Speaker 1: diagnosed that day and then not have your significant other 523 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: actually like I don't know show up for you. Yeah, 524 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 1: it's kind of shitty. 525 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,600 Speaker 4: I want a little bit more. 526 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,600 Speaker 3: It seems like this was an event that came through 527 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 3: her work, so I would like a little bit more. Like, 528 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,320 Speaker 3: for instance, this is like an extreme scenario, but if 529 00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,919 Speaker 3: someone's like going to the Grammy's right, and then like 530 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:52,720 Speaker 3: if you know, going to the Grammies nominated and yeah, 531 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 3: then someone gets like a disease that is very serious 532 00:24:56,119 --> 00:25:01,080 Speaker 3: but treatable and livable. Then maybe you're like, you know, yeah, 533 00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:02,919 Speaker 3: he's still gonna have a conversation about it. 534 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, well I guess like, how what would you 535 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 1: what would you not miss? Right? Right right? 536 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,479 Speaker 4: Where's the break off the way right? 537 00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: So like all right, all right, it's it's twenty nineteen. Yep, right, 538 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,280 Speaker 1: Kanye is still not He's crazy, but he's not current, 539 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,080 Speaker 1: like like as as as off the Rockers is now 540 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,880 Speaker 1: you got front front row seats. And then this Nayama 541 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: calls in and says, I have Animeia do you go 542 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 1: or do you let it? Or do you give it 543 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:34,800 Speaker 1: to me? 544 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:39,760 Speaker 4: So I do have to think I'm being honest here. 545 00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:42,560 Speaker 4: It depends. So okay, here I'll explain. 546 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 3: So I went to one Kanye show where it was 547 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,159 Speaker 3: like the Sunday Service, which is much more casual, like 548 00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:48,399 Speaker 3: tickets for nineteen bucks. 549 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,680 Speaker 4: I would have ditched that, yeah, if it was. 550 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,800 Speaker 3: There was another concert I went to, which was two 551 00:25:53,840 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 3: shows before he was hospitalized, that was like this like 552 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,639 Speaker 3: super crazy tour. He had this like floating state. It 553 00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 3: was very much a moment. I paid like three hundred 554 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 3: and seventy. 555 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,440 Speaker 4: Dollars for it. Yeah, that one. 556 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,479 Speaker 3: I would have had a conversation with her and been like, 557 00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 3: if you need me here, I'm going to be here. 558 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,680 Speaker 3: But like, what would it legitimately bother you if I 559 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 3: if I went, Yeah, and like just like basically put 560 00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,119 Speaker 3: on the table like I'm gonna be here for you 561 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:21,040 Speaker 3: if you need me. In all honesty, would it bother you? 562 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:21,240 Speaker 4: Like? 563 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 3: Like what would you What would your reaction be if 564 00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,920 Speaker 3: I went? How would you feel if I went? Yeah, 565 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 3: that's my answer. 566 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:32,840 Speaker 1: Okay, let's say you spent five grand on on the 567 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:37,000 Speaker 1: most incredible life changing experience. It was like six months 568 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:41,080 Speaker 1: prep right, and she says it's not like like she says, 569 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:44,200 Speaker 1: like it's not life threatening, right, but it's like it's 570 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 1: like it's a it's a diagnosis that that will change 571 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,000 Speaker 1: someone's life and to get it that day and she says, 572 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,560 Speaker 1: John really needs you. 573 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,840 Speaker 3: Well the other thing too, I mean I can actually 574 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 3: sell you can't sell it. Okay, so we're not unfroundtable. Yes, yeah, 575 00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:02,040 Speaker 3: this is this is a hypothetical after all. Uh that one. Honestly, like, 576 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,879 Speaker 3: I'm less like that. The Kanye thing was more of 577 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:06,560 Speaker 3: a like I don't know if this will ever happen again. 578 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 3: You can take like a fancy vacation anytime. 579 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,240 Speaker 1: No, no, no, this is is this is this is 580 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,800 Speaker 1: the Kanye equivalent. I'm actually meeting No, no, sorry, five 581 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:21,439 Speaker 1: thousand dollars. Yeah, you get to meet Kanye Kanye. 582 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:25,880 Speaker 4: Oh my god, Oh my god. Yeah, I mean it's. 583 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:33,080 Speaker 1: Your one chance. It's your oneo. He ruins his reputation. 584 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 3: Nah, it's it's still I know it sounds crazy, but 585 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,719 Speaker 3: like the concert is that's the one where I'm like, 586 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 3: this is like a more of a once in a 587 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,160 Speaker 3: lifetime thing, which caused me to hesitate even meeting him, even, 588 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 3: you know, a fancy like I actually have, like. 589 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:56,359 Speaker 1: You get to record a god Yeah, okay, here we go. 590 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:57,120 Speaker 4: This is what I'm doing. 591 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: I think you get you have time booked in Hawaii 592 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,640 Speaker 1: with Kanye. I have a game. 593 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:08,160 Speaker 4: Okay are you ready? 594 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,560 Speaker 1: And Ima says, hey, I just got diagnosed with a disease. 595 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 1: I need you. 596 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:17,439 Speaker 3: Here's what we're doing right phone call? Hey, do you 597 00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:21,480 Speaker 3: want a house or do you want me to spend 598 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:27,800 Speaker 3: this weekend with you? That's the scenario there. Yeah, take 599 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:32,440 Speaker 3: all the money from that feature or whatever and literally 600 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:36,160 Speaker 3: buy her something crazy because if you get a Kanye song, 601 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,440 Speaker 3: the money that you'll make off of that over time 602 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,720 Speaker 3: is probably stupid, as long as you get the. 603 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:47,880 Speaker 1: Proper make choice. Yes, and she still says. 604 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 4: I've given her. 605 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:54,000 Speaker 3: I've given her the option, brom giving it. 606 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,479 Speaker 4: You pushed me to my breaking point. You kept pushing 607 00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 4: me to my breaking. 608 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: Point, honestly, But boyfriend of the Year award, you still 609 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: give her the choice. 610 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:07,440 Speaker 4: Yeah. 611 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm a boyfriend of the year, 612 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 3: but it's you know, I'm a boyfriend of something. I'm 613 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 3: boyfriend of something. Yeah, exactly, all right, what would you do? 614 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 4: You go make a good song with Kanye? 615 00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 1: Okay, but our next story, we actually have a submission 616 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 1: from you guys, So let's cook this up. 617 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,920 Speaker 2: Get it. 618 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 1: My husband openly brags to me and the kids about 619 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 1: how many women throw themselves at him. Okayop, this is Okayop. 620 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Daughner and I'm John Fry and John people 621 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 1: have been making fun of me recently. 622 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,080 Speaker 4: They it's not acceptable. 623 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of rude. I feel bad. They said 624 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: that my camera is so zoomed in that they can 625 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,360 Speaker 1: see the back of my throat, and if you could 626 00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 1: see the back of my throat. You would understand that 627 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 1: I don't have any tonsoles because I got them taken 628 00:29:59,240 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: out when I was like five. 629 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:03,000 Speaker 3: They're honestly, I think they're just jealous of your your 630 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:06,680 Speaker 3: good oral hygiene. Yeah and yeah, maybe they have inflamed 631 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:08,960 Speaker 3: oral around the best. 632 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 4: Maybe it's just. 633 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:17,800 Speaker 1: Someone has better oral. Let the record show the oral hygiene. 634 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 4: That is hygiene. 635 00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:23,200 Speaker 1: Let's keep it clean, guys, Let's keep you clean. That's 636 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 1: how we do it. And with that anyway, with that 637 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:28,800 Speaker 1: all right, John, I got his story. I got his story. 638 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:31,720 Speaker 1: Hit me with the baby, all right. My husband openly 639 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,719 Speaker 1: brags to me and the kids about how many women 640 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 1: throw themselves at. 641 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:39,000 Speaker 3: Him, kind of something you don't want to uh to 642 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:39,600 Speaker 3: brag about. 643 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. If you're like kids, you wouldn't 644 00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: believe the dime that was trying to the broads that 645 00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 1: was just throwing themselves. I could have twisted every nipple 646 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 1: within a mile radius of this house, but I don't. 647 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 4: Maybe we just used all kids. 648 00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,280 Speaker 3: Nineteen fifties terms describe like it was a bunch of 649 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,240 Speaker 3: broads and a bunch of in themselves. 650 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 1: Couldn stop them. You know, I was about to I 651 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,120 Speaker 1: was about to do more nineteen fifty stuff. But then 652 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, this is getting it will 653 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:09,360 Speaker 1: get sexist, very. 654 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 4: Crowd, that's true. I got one though. 655 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,920 Speaker 3: Oh god, there's uh broad's throwing themselves at me like 656 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 3: Dwight Eyes and Howe throwing roads on the inter estate. 657 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: Wow that wow. 658 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 3: See why college and no one is offended. 659 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,280 Speaker 1: I'm very impressed. 660 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 3: That's like the one thing I remember from APUs history, 661 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,720 Speaker 3: which was like he invested very heavily in the road infrastructure. 662 00:31:33,160 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 1: Just like this, this dad's investing in these broads. She 663 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 1: is is salami. 664 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,680 Speaker 4: I'm salami service, yummy. 665 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 1: I mean all right, my husband and I are expats 666 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,640 Speaker 1: in a country where the average household considers themselves lucky 667 00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,480 Speaker 1: to make two thousand to three thousand dollars a year. 668 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,520 Speaker 1: So we're talking, Wow, where living probably like I don't know, 669 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,120 Speaker 1: like South America. 670 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:00,640 Speaker 4: I mean yeah, that's South Africa. 671 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 1: Lo low for the purpose, I know, and just just 672 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 1: for for reference, like that covers like two months rent. 673 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe maybe if you're lucky, you got a deal. Yeah, 674 00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,160 Speaker 1: Sam is the king of deals. I try, I try. 675 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 4: I'm like the joker of deals for. 676 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 1: The purpose of not giving too much identifying information out, 677 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:21,480 Speaker 1: I will be referring to the country as country E Yugoslavia. Eureka, 678 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: you figured it out. No, I'm just e countries. But 679 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,920 Speaker 1: Yugoslavia is not an E country. I was about to say, 680 00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 1: you should go on country country that begins with the. 681 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 3: Country that begins Estonia. No, Estonia is pretty wealthy. 682 00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:37,120 Speaker 1: I feel like, yeah, I don't know if it's a 683 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 1: Salvador L Salvador. Maybe El Salvador country e L Salvador. 684 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 1: Two and a half years ago, my husband, who works 685 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: in finance, was promoted to a position in which he 686 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: could finally have the compensation authorita and projects that he 687 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: always dreamed of. 688 00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:52,560 Speaker 4: Nice. 689 00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,240 Speaker 1: The downside was the position would be in the company's 690 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,360 Speaker 1: headquarters in another country, and basically it required us to 691 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,600 Speaker 1: move away from our families and our friends. But I 692 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,360 Speaker 1: was so excited for my husband and our kids fifteen 693 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:07,120 Speaker 1: female and ten male, were so happy about experiencing another 694 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,320 Speaker 1: culture as well as supporting their dad, that we urged 695 00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,200 Speaker 1: my husband to take the position. So everyone's on board. Yeah, 696 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,760 Speaker 1: it sounds like an adventure. Family adventure, family adventure, making 697 00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,480 Speaker 1: more money and exotic location sounds good. What could go wrong? 698 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: Because they were telling my husband they wanted to see 699 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: him there as soon as possible asap. We agreed that 700 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,560 Speaker 1: he would go settle in and we would fly over 701 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 1: around two months later. It seems that the moment his 702 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 1: plane took off towards country E marked the beginning of 703 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: the end of all his feelings of respect and appreciation 704 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 1: for me and the kids. Oh God, things are going downhill. 705 00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,800 Speaker 1: After just two months apart, I could sense a drastic 706 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 1: change in my husband. He went from calling me and 707 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 1: the kids every day to every other day, and then 708 00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:50,760 Speaker 1: reducing communication just to texts. At first, I thought he 709 00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: was just busy settling in, but the night before we 710 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,440 Speaker 1: went to fly out, he video chatted us, and the 711 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,640 Speaker 1: kids asked him why he seemed disappointed that they were coming, 712 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: which is not what you want, awful. He said that 713 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:02,959 Speaker 1: they were just imagining things and it was just how 714 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,960 Speaker 1: his face looked on camera, which you know, maybe maybe 715 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,000 Speaker 1: we'll maybe, we'll see. As we settled into our new home, 716 00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 1: he shot us pretty resentful looks and continuously snapped at 717 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 1: me not to touch this or that. Like most expats, 718 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,279 Speaker 1: we live in a home that was miles grander and 719 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: show we were than we could ever get back home 720 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,760 Speaker 1: and with a lot of stuff like a company car 721 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 1: and housekeeping services paid for by the company, and my 722 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,239 Speaker 1: husband had money to burn and started having ridiculously high 723 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,600 Speaker 1: expectations about how we were dressed and how we look. 724 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: He bought himself loads of designer watches with his fellow 725 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,359 Speaker 1: corporate masters of the Universe friends, and spent lavishly at 726 00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:41,800 Speaker 1: restaurants and bars on the company tab. He also invested 727 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 1: quite a bit of our money in real estate here, 728 00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,720 Speaker 1: since the government is pushing for foreign investors to invest, 729 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,960 Speaker 1: even adopting a more liberal outward rhetoric in order to 730 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,439 Speaker 1: be more appealing to the West. The country we live 731 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,239 Speaker 1: in has extreme wealth disparities, most of it unfortunately not 732 00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,080 Speaker 1: held by locals. There is a center city where all 733 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:02,319 Speaker 1: the high end stores, hotels, and clubs and restaurants are, 734 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,600 Speaker 1: and then there are some homes in the country as well. 735 00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,719 Speaker 1: And despite the fact that this country is technically conservative, 736 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,760 Speaker 1: escorting is rampant and is an outgrowth of the generally 737 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,319 Speaker 1: desperate economic straits of families and the fact that it 738 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,960 Speaker 1: is obvious who has money and therefore where to go 739 00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,200 Speaker 1: and who to target. So basically a bunch of escorts 740 00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:23,920 Speaker 1: are going to the city center to drum up some business. 741 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 1: The Western folkike escorts are apparently and basically everywhere in 742 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 1: the area we live where there are restaurants or bars 743 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,640 Speaker 1: or entertainment. When men see dressed up local women in 744 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:39,320 Speaker 1: pairs roaming around in establishments, they just assume they're escorts, 745 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,439 Speaker 1: and of the time they're right. Oh. Man, an next 746 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,880 Speaker 1: fat friend once asked a woman who approached him at 747 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:47,720 Speaker 1: a bar, which he did for a living, and she said, 748 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:49,200 Speaker 1: what does it look like I do for a living? 749 00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:53,759 Speaker 1: I see. My husband then started criticizing my appearance a lot, 750 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,719 Speaker 1: and when we'd go out, he'd ask if I ever 751 00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,200 Speaker 1: considered wearing my hair like women a B or c. 752 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,400 Speaker 1: Or we'll go out to eat as a family and 753 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 1: he will ignore what the kids are saying and just 754 00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,680 Speaker 1: stare at different women, which's disrespectful. Man, absolutely, like, keep 755 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: your eyes on your food, or your wife or your 756 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:11,480 Speaker 1: kids or your kids. Yeah, when his friends come over, 757 00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,920 Speaker 1: my husband always brags in front of me about the 758 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,200 Speaker 1: women that approached him, not just at bars, but he 759 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,440 Speaker 1: also brags about how local women who work in the 760 00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:22,879 Speaker 1: office with him are also exceptionally engaging. He even got 761 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:25,360 Speaker 1: pretty aggressive when we were hooking up, and wanted to 762 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 1: choke me and pee on me. This is getting dark, 763 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:30,840 Speaker 1: This is getting dark. When we tried some more intense stuff, 764 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:33,319 Speaker 1: he pulled my hair hard enough to draw blood, and 765 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 1: when I said I didn't want to do it anymore, 766 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,279 Speaker 1: he started screaming that a bunch of women who looked 767 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,279 Speaker 1: exactly like his type would be eager to do it 768 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:45,800 Speaker 1: all and more for less than I spend on dinner. Geez, god, jeez, 769 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,400 Speaker 1: I'm not having fun. My daughter found a bunch of 770 00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 1: contacts on his phone that blew up his phone with 771 00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,240 Speaker 1: flirty messages on WhatsApp, and instead of at least pretending 772 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,759 Speaker 1: to be ashamed for a daughter's sake, he went, well, 773 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 1: at least your dad's still attractive. 774 00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:00,440 Speaker 4: How is that supposed to make a kid feel better? 775 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:03,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you're cheating on mom, and it's like 776 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:07,799 Speaker 1: your dad's got some pretty good looks, still good looking. No, No, 777 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,759 Speaker 1: that's not how you handle it. And then it turned 778 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,120 Speaker 1: into a diatribe about how you had to give out 779 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,480 Speaker 1: the number to one woman because you look close to 780 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,640 Speaker 1: tears when you tried to pull away, which likely story wrote, well, 781 00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,040 Speaker 1: most women are respectful when a man is with his 782 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 1: wife and or a family. Sometimes it happens where we're 783 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,799 Speaker 1: at restaurants and hotels and my husband is just like 784 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 1: a regular there for dinner, and then women who I 785 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,359 Speaker 1: assume are also regulars will disregard my presence and give 786 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:33,960 Speaker 1: me scornful once overs. When we were out as a 787 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,320 Speaker 1: family and my husband sees a woman give his attire 788 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:40,040 Speaker 1: and improving once over, he will smile flirtatiously back and 789 00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,839 Speaker 1: seem to bask in the glow and not pay any 790 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,280 Speaker 1: attention to me or the kids. 791 00:37:44,320 --> 00:37:47,240 Speaker 4: And it's like, these are people who just want your money. 792 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:51,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, this has nothing nothing to do with your life, 793 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,000 Speaker 1: nothing at all. I was trying to milk you for 794 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: all it's worth. 795 00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:55,919 Speaker 4: Move moo mooh. 796 00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 1: I've been to support groups and have been told to 797 00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:01,600 Speaker 1: let it wear off because many other wives have experienced 798 00:38:01,640 --> 00:38:04,160 Speaker 1: their husbands being drunk on attention. Also, what kind of 799 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 1: supportment is that? 800 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,360 Speaker 4: It's like terrible, it's for your fault. 801 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 1: Just the boys will be boys, husbands will be husbands. 802 00:38:10,680 --> 00:38:11,960 Speaker 4: Who's giving this support? 803 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, this is a terrible support. 804 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,880 Speaker 4: Support joined the okop support Yeah yeah. 805 00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,480 Speaker 1: We'll give you better support than Frick and whatever you're getting. 806 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,000 Speaker 1: But my husband seems to be getting more and more 807 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:23,680 Speaker 1: obsessed with the attention. My son is young, but he 808 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,480 Speaker 1: has gone from happy, go lucky to glaring at his 809 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,000 Speaker 1: father and whoever he is smiling at. My husband and 810 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,400 Speaker 1: I have tried to communicate, but everything turns into my fault. 811 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 1: I do not appreciate his contributions enough, he says. I 812 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:38,160 Speaker 1: don't appreciate his contributions enough when I disagree with him, 813 00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:40,239 Speaker 1: saying the kids don't need to learn how to do 814 00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,719 Speaker 1: laundry because the housekeeper will do it for them. I 815 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,560 Speaker 1: also don't appreciate him when he continually asked a hook 816 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,319 Speaker 1: up for the third time in a night. I do 817 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,120 Speaker 1: not appreciate him when I move the furniture from how 818 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,080 Speaker 1: he organized it, or when I disagree with him on anything. 819 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,400 Speaker 1: I started tracking our banking information and found out that 820 00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:00,520 Speaker 1: he made numerous large withdrawals. He denied vehemiently that he 821 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 1: was seeing escorts and said I seem jealous and had 822 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,800 Speaker 1: something against people who escorts, like I don't use escorts, 823 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,080 Speaker 1: But how dare you judge people who use escorts? I 824 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,040 Speaker 1: don't use them, but you should have judged them. 825 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 4: Oh Man, I told. 826 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,200 Speaker 1: Him that to the contrary, I feel bad for people 827 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,239 Speaker 1: who need to put their lives in helse at risk 828 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,440 Speaker 1: like this, and that these people don't have any forms 829 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:22,680 Speaker 1: of government assistant. We had a big fight that night, 830 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 1: and I went to stay with a friend for the 831 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:26,799 Speaker 1: night to cool off. When I came back home, he 832 00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: glared at me and said, oh, you're back. What if 833 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,920 Speaker 1: I don't want you here anymore? Excuse me, rude, excuse me, rude. 834 00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,879 Speaker 1: I do not know what to do. My support group 835 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,080 Speaker 1: keeps telling me that he will get off his power trip, 836 00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:38,359 Speaker 1: but if I leave him, I will likely lose any 837 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 1: assets I have here. My kids obviously still have school 838 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,279 Speaker 1: and love their classmate. I need any advice on how 839 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 1: to save my marriage or how to get my husband 840 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,560 Speaker 1: to stop thinking that I am not enough for him 841 00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:50,120 Speaker 1: when I haven't changed from when we were not expats, 842 00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:52,880 Speaker 1: while he respected and appreciated me Back at home, he 843 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,400 Speaker 1: scorns me here. What should I do? 844 00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:58,120 Speaker 4: Wow? I mean, God, what a bro? 845 00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,920 Speaker 1: The post says it all, break up with, leave with 846 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 1: the kids, get a divorce. 847 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, got he like, run far, far away. 848 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,600 Speaker 3: He's treating you like garbage, like he's not doing anything 849 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:09,120 Speaker 3: at all. 850 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,000 Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's and also it's like. 851 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,200 Speaker 3: It's just so clear his behavior before and after, so 852 00:40:14,239 --> 00:40:16,600 Speaker 3: it's like something there made him change. 853 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:18,000 Speaker 4: And I think we all have a pretty good idea 854 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:18,719 Speaker 4: of what that was. 855 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, escorts, yep, but man, run for the hills, bro, 856 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:24,719 Speaker 1: just like Op. 857 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,560 Speaker 3: You deserve better, absolutely, and you know where our listeners 858 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,480 Speaker 3: should run to, Samuel. 859 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 1: Oh, they should run to the OKOP support group otherwise 860 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 1: known as the subscribe button on the follow button on 861 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:43,399 Speaker 1: Spotify and the follow button on thick Dock. Make sure 862 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 1: to support us wherever you can. And then I also 863 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,719 Speaker 1: like to give a special shout out to our very 864 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,279 Speaker 1: like like our growing Patreon base. We really appreciate you. 865 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,600 Speaker 3: Absolutely we have Oh, we have another, we have a 866 00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:59,960 Speaker 3: new one. We have the og Scott Squad, Kathy Quickly, 867 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:04,120 Speaker 3: Keegan Simmons, Desiree Canterbury, Connor van Baron, Nina Campbell and 868 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:09,960 Speaker 3: newest edition will come welcomes. If you guys want to 869 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,200 Speaker 3: shout out at the end of the episode, you know 870 00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:12,640 Speaker 3: what to do. 871 00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,840 Speaker 4: Join The Patreon link is in the bio. 872 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,120 Speaker 1: Please help us make more things. Yes, this is great, 873 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,120 Speaker 1: This is our pride and joy. Yes, it is our 874 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:25,080 Speaker 1: lovely love message, yes to you very lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely, 875 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:26,399 Speaker 1: and we'll see you guys next time.