1 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:07,200 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast Boom. 2 00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:10,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to wind Down. Would you say full couch? What 3 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 1: full couch? Full heart? How about those microphone guys you 4 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: can't see but Chris Well, I mean you can No, 5 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: you can't see Christens, which I would envision me and 6 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: karaoke night sir. And that's pretty much is the how's 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:33,480 Speaker 1: your morning, Kristen full how's your morning? What's so full 8 00:00:33,479 --> 00:00:37,640 Speaker 1: about it? I have a lot, so I don't think 9 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,000 Speaker 1: you have time for me. I've I've We've got five 10 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: minutes before Josh Peck comes on and then I've got 11 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: a lifetime more for you after that. Okay, great? Want 12 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,239 Speaker 1: to sum it up in five I can try. I 13 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: have a six year old daughter who is a highly 14 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 1: sensitive person like myself. So it's like existing in a 15 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: really noisy world when all you want to do is 16 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: put on headphones. And so we're just having a lot 17 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: of shifts at our was my husband's traveling a lot again. 18 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 1: He's coming back, but he's not home, but he's writing. 19 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: So he is home, but he's home, but he's not present, 20 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: Like you know, it's a lot again. He's in ban 21 00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: low cash, single can I say that, yeah, definitely. Ituned 22 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 1: Speech Boys with Low Cash Christine really quick? Can I 23 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: please just say I texted Janna when the song came out, 24 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: that is the best song on the radio right now. 25 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: I love it so much. I'm such a huge Beach 26 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: Boys fan. I'm such a big Low Cash fan. When 27 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: I heard their team it up, I was like, Oh 28 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: my god, you gotta be kid. It's oh my god. 29 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: My wife is she's going crazy because all day long, 30 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 1: I'm just like I get around around gets Eastern. This 31 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,920 Speaker 1: song can change our lives. I need young handsome people 32 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: like you saying this stuff with your hot wife. Do 33 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: you want to meet the Beach Boys? How can we 34 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: do this Nashville? Can you come next weekend? They're playing 35 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: at the Opry. I'll get you and your wife in. 36 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 1: It's just I'm telling Elsie, like their playing the Opry. 37 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: We've never been before. I want to see the Beach 38 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: Boys so bad. We gotta go Eastern kind of stay 39 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: at my house and go to the freaking Opery with me. 40 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, okay, all Rightston, this is a 41 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,280 Speaker 1: great day. I needed you to say that. It's it's 42 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,960 Speaker 1: a hit. That song is so good it's incredible. I'll 43 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: received that in Jesus name Eastern. I love the fact that, like, see, 44 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,000 Speaker 1: if someone just says something to you, you can just 45 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: change your day like that, you know, changed my day, 46 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: and so did the eighties Mike. So wait, what's going 47 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,800 Speaker 1: on with love Bug? Then just a lot of shifts 48 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: in her world that would be I think normal to 49 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: a lot of kids, but like to her, it feels big, 50 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 1: and so I honor how big everything feels. I'll probably 51 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,760 Speaker 1: get emotional. I'm on a roller coaster today, but it 52 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: just was a lot, and so I was like, let's 53 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: just take a minute. Like she said, her belly hurt, 54 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 1: which is what I used to say, but no one 55 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:02,040 Speaker 1: listened to me when I said it. M M, that's 56 00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: the triggering did you do trauma? Timeline? So I said, okay, 57 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: let's just figure out like does it hurt like you 58 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,000 Speaker 1: need to poop? Does it hurt like you need to 59 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: throw up? Does it hurt like a feeling instead of 60 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: like you know? And she said, I don't know, maybe 61 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,920 Speaker 1: I could poop. So we tried that out. We're just 62 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,360 Speaker 1: checking things off the list, you know, like working our 63 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 1: way from number two to number one. I guess and 64 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: I don't know. It's just like a it's hard. And 65 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 1: my husband is he's better at understanding and wanting to 66 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: learn her sometimes and he isn't wanting to learn me, 67 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: though we are the same human innately, har and I 68 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: and I don't project my stuff onto her like she's 69 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: my fresh start. I mean, it's poetic that God gave 70 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 1: us a birthday two days apart. You know, it's not 71 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,400 Speaker 1: lost on me. None of that's lost on me. She's 72 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: like I get to watch her be a kid for 73 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 1: as long as she can be a kid, and it's 74 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: like the biggest gift could your inner child. In a sense, 75 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: she is, but I separate us, but I just love 76 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 1: her to be a kid. And I also just love 77 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,760 Speaker 1: that when I like her to be able to name feelings. 78 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to like make her a psychologist at 79 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: age seven, but I'm like, yeah, maybe it feels like anxiety. 80 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: You have a substitute teacher today, that feels weird. You 81 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: love your teacher that has been not home. Now he's 82 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: home now, yeah, yeah, Pop pop around their way from Indiana. 83 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:26,360 Speaker 1: Like there's just a lot happening, rapid fire, and when 84 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: you're hsp it's like exposed nerve feeling. So all of 85 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:32,040 Speaker 1: it may be good things, but it still feels like 86 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: a lot of input. And then on top of it, 87 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: I gave birth to Will Ferrell and that's her little brother. 88 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 1: So she's just like, what is happening and what are 89 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:43,280 Speaker 1: you doing with the emotion because obviously I'm feeling coming 90 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:48,840 Speaker 1: to you and spewing, and now you're got up and 91 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:54,280 Speaker 1: all got up there. It is. It's just hard to 92 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: be around. Like. We had such a good night last night, 93 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: the three of us. Yeah, that was fun. We drank 94 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 1: a lot, we laughed a lot, We laughed a lot, laughed, 95 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: we cried, we cried and we did. And I just 96 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, man, what a beautiful life this would be 97 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,200 Speaker 1: if we could all have that with each other. And 98 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:11,560 Speaker 1: I want her to have that with me, and I 99 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,960 Speaker 1: want her to have that with her dad. And I 100 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 1: just want her to be able to say, like, I 101 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,200 Speaker 1: feel anxious and I don't even she doesn't have to 102 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: know why. I don't need a reason. Sure, yeah, wow, 103 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: there's that wind down and getty up. I'm a lot. 104 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: Julia said something to me the other day. She looks sad, 105 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 1: and I said, hey, baby, girl, What's what's wrong? Baby? 106 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:34,600 Speaker 1: Look you look sad? Or you okay? She's like I 107 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: don't want to say and I was like, oh no, 108 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: which I think is age appropriate, but I was like 109 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:43,279 Speaker 1: in an apartment, I was like trying to peel it 110 00:05:43,279 --> 00:05:45,400 Speaker 1: out of her because I'm like, like, I need her 111 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 1: to be happy and like and so now, looking back, 112 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 1: I should have just been like, well, I'm here if 113 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 1: you want to talk, and it's okay to be sad, 114 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: but but at the time, I was just like, well, 115 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:56,680 Speaker 1: why are you sad? Like what can I be do? 116 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 1: Like how do you feel like a failure? Because I 117 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: felt like a failure. I felt like I did something 118 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: wrong and she didn't want to tell me that I 119 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: did something wrong or that she was I don't know, 120 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: Like sometimes I feel like she'll with you know, my um, 121 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 1: you know, her dad's stuff. It was, She'll she'll say, 122 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: you know it's it's almost like she's trying to protect 123 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:20,039 Speaker 1: my feelings. That's what That's what I make up. Mm hmmm, 124 00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I mean I think it's good. 125 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 1: Though at least you're acknowledging that she's said. A lot 126 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: of parents probably don't even acknowledge that. I know they 127 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: don't like they're acknowledging it. Even if you're trying to 128 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: find out. I think that that's still very recognized that 129 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,360 Speaker 1: you were trying. You can't, we can't do it perfectly 130 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:44,400 Speaker 1: all the time. Tell me more about that male t dox. Listen, listen, 131 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,919 Speaker 1: we're not smart. Do you remember a time when Jana 132 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:56,919 Speaker 1: said she was going to go on a twilight that 133 00:06:55,520 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: I am not. I'm I'm not dating anybody. I am 134 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 1: very single. I'm gonna have a hot girl summer single summer. 135 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: But are you going on dates? Oh my goodness, Josh 136 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: Peck is here. Look at that. He is here when 137 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: you're ready, and no, I have not yet. So there 138 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:20,160 Speaker 1: you go to answer your question. What would be one 139 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: week into the twelve? So you know that's good? Yeah, 140 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: it's great, it's awesome, great, great, Thank you, very excited. 141 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: It's been coming on two months. The nice little single 142 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: gal here, Thank you, home run you're hitting uh huh, 143 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: Well Josh Peck is here and we're going to take 144 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 1: a break and they get him on the show. Thank you. 145 00:07:55,080 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: I was reck of this morning, Josh, Hi say more 146 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: about you being a wreck? Now you don't want to hear. 147 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: We we know wasn't wasn't wasn't a fabulous we had 148 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,240 Speaker 1: a little I had a little girl's night last night, 149 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: so kind of feeling the aftermath. No judgment. I'm glad 150 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 1: you guys treated yourselves well. Thank you. Um, we're so 151 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,720 Speaker 1: happy to have you on Wine Down. Um My, I 152 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: believe we're at the same publishing company. Uh, Sidney Rogers 153 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 1: over at HarperCollins. Oh yeah, she said she's incredible, Like 154 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,240 Speaker 1: she's she's such an amazing editor and human and um, 155 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: she was just like raving about you in your book, 156 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: which I'm so excited about. Um, I can't wait to 157 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 1: read it. But when did When did you did? Because 158 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:49,199 Speaker 1: it just came out right, Yeah, it came out about 159 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: like March. But yeah, Sydney is great and it's it's 160 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: been a wild ride, as I'm sure you're sort of 161 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: familiar with. But I'm glad like that I'm in sort 162 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: of the home stretch of it all. It's been great. 163 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: I'm proud of it. I mean, it's just the fact 164 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 1: that like the title alone is I love it is amazing, 165 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 1: like happy people are annoying, like it just yes, so 166 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: it's uh, yeah, I mean it's I feel like I 167 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 1: didn't know the title for the book right away, and 168 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 1: then once we came up with the title, sort of 169 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,679 Speaker 1: the book grew into it. You know. It became about 170 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 1: this idea of I just think I thought most people 171 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 1: walked around completely blissful, and if you did, it was 172 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: because you were very attractive, or generationally wealthy, or like 173 00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,959 Speaker 1: the quarterback for the football team. And so my whole 174 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:43,760 Speaker 1: sort of journey was about redefining what happiness meant for me. 175 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,560 Speaker 1: I love that, and I love too. I mean, you 176 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:51,199 Speaker 1: grew up. Your mom was a single mom, right, And 177 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,959 Speaker 1: question for you when did your when did you feel 178 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,000 Speaker 1: like you're like, okay, like I have to because you 179 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,160 Speaker 1: said that, I read something where you felt like you 180 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: kind of had to be the man and provide for 181 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: for your mom, right, I think right away, I make 182 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 1: this joke in the book that growing up I would 183 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 1: look at my friends with like a more traditional family system, 184 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: and it was like the kids were sort of the 185 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: employees and the parents were upper management. But my mom 186 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: and I were a startup, you know, like we were 187 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: a very specific dynamic. And you become kind of the 188 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:27,520 Speaker 1: co captain when you're the only child and a single mom, 189 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 1: and I feel like I was quickly elevated into that role, 190 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: which was both challenging and wonderful. Um, because I would 191 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: walk around at like nine years old and people would 192 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 1: talk to me like a kid, because of course that's 193 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: what I was, And I would feel like I puffed 194 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 1: my chest out and I don't even know who I am, 195 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 1: like I'm the man in my house, like I'm a 196 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: pretty big deal at home, but of course they didn't know. Yeah, 197 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,800 Speaker 1: is there something like, as a like I'm a single 198 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,360 Speaker 1: mom that you that, um, that I could do for 199 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 1: my kids that they don't, that you felt the pressure 200 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: to like have to. I don't know, and if you 201 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,120 Speaker 1: felt you had to manage your mom's emotions or any 202 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: of those things, like is there anything that, like, any 203 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,400 Speaker 1: any tips you could give me as I raised my 204 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:14,840 Speaker 1: kids as a single mom. M. That's a great. Well, 205 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: My my situation was specific, and I don't know exactly 206 00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,520 Speaker 1: yours like mine. I didn't. I never met my dad 207 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 1: and then he passed away before um, I could ever 208 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 1: meet him, so he wasn't in my life at all. 209 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: So my mom being this like fabulous tigress playing both parts, 210 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 1: you know, Um, mother and father. To her credit, she 211 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,839 Speaker 1: knew that she could only do so much. So like 212 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,120 Speaker 1: at eight years old, she got me a big brother 213 00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: from the Big Brother Foundation, this guy Dan, who would 214 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 1: take me out every other weekend on Sunday and we go. 215 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,400 Speaker 1: I mean, there's not a thing in New York and 216 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: it's kid friendly that we didn't do, from Yankee games 217 00:11:56,440 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 1: to bowling to you know, video games, you thing. And 218 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,360 Speaker 1: we have a very rare relationship because twenty eight years 219 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:06,719 Speaker 1: later were so incredibly close. He was the best man 220 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:11,199 Speaker 1: at my wedding. And so I think to my mom's credit, 221 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,800 Speaker 1: she knew that single moms can be like superheroes and 222 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 1: yet their powers can only go so far. And she 223 00:12:18,679 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: filled in the gaps where she knew she couldn't. And 224 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 1: that was my brother. That was my shrink at fifteen. 225 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,520 Speaker 1: And I still go and see Tom shout out. We're 226 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:29,679 Speaker 1: on the first name basis. It's it's been a while 227 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: and U uh yeah, and you know I think that 228 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,079 Speaker 1: so yeah, I think it's knowing the I guess it's 229 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: knowing where where you can only do so much and 230 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:44,199 Speaker 1: helping to fill in the gaps. Um in that way. 231 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:47,439 Speaker 1: I love that where do you think you you lost 232 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,959 Speaker 1: yourself along the way with you know, obviously you've been 233 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:53,360 Speaker 1: very successful in your acting career and um, you know 234 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 1: you've you've had a lot of accomplishments. And where do 235 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,559 Speaker 1: you where do you feel like was there a moment 236 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,800 Speaker 1: or do you remember like you started to kind of 237 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 1: lose yourself and fall into the other patterns. You know, 238 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: I'm not sure, right, because it's kind of like the 239 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: duality of ego or the duality of that that dark 240 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:17,319 Speaker 1: side that probably most of us have, right, it can 241 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,199 Speaker 1: be an asset for a really long time. Like my 242 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:24,199 Speaker 1: character defects. My defense mechanisms made me funny, it me 243 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 1: It gave me sort of this I don't know what 244 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 1: you call it, but this sort of outgoing personality because 245 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: I grew up really overweight, and I assumed that I 246 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: walked into most situations at a disadvantage, that people made 247 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 1: a snap judgment about you when they saw you were overweight. 248 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,839 Speaker 1: And and I never wanted I always say I never 249 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: wanted to be you know, special, I just wanted to 250 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: be the same. And so developing this ability to be 251 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,840 Speaker 1: funny and to sort of control the energy of a 252 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 1: room that was born out of just wanting to be 253 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: on the same plane field as everyone else. Of Course, 254 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:05,200 Speaker 1: over time, once I've got in shape and I sort 255 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,600 Speaker 1: of shed that image, a lot of that was so 256 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 1: deeply embedded in me that it's it went from an 257 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,040 Speaker 1: asset to a defect. Right. It started to haunt me. 258 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,240 Speaker 1: It started to make me thoroughly uncomfortable. And when I 259 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: found like drugs and alcohol, I was like, oh, this 260 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 1: is so more efficacious than food and with so many 261 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 1: less calories. And so I kind of went on that 262 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: vision quest for four years. So yeah, it took me 263 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 1: a while, but um, you know, at twenty one, I 264 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: got sober and uh and and I've sort of been 265 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,280 Speaker 1: in a bit of a growth mindset ever since. How 266 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: old are you now, Josh, thirty five? You look young? Thanks? 267 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: Take that box? Yes, do that? Yes? Always, you look great. 268 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: Though I don't think he really needed preventative. I got 269 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: some of these. I got a little bit the crows, 270 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: things like, no, you look great, but I'm just always 271 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,440 Speaker 1: like botox, pro botox do it. But yeah, you see 272 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: how angry I am. You can't, Josh. It saves my marriage. 273 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: Go get the bow time, you guys. The three of 274 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: you look incredible. There's not a wrinkle in that room. 275 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:23,840 Speaker 1: Let's be honest, there's a lot of behind. Do you 276 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 1: ever like have a like I'm afraid of a snap foot? Right? 277 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 1: Like that, I get it and then like I've got 278 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: to go get on set and I go to to 279 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 1: a moat and they're like, how come you like so 280 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: I So what I do is like, so I like 281 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: just finished the movie. So I made sure I didn't 282 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 1: do botox before, like like three months before. I was 283 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,520 Speaker 1: like all right, no, not getting it. But now I'm like, 284 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,520 Speaker 1: I'm starting to see my wrinkles against I'm like, it's 285 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 1: it's time. And I'm also not working anything. So it's 286 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,240 Speaker 1: the afterod did happen to me? Though? Remember my eyebrow 287 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,280 Speaker 1: that when one was here and I was yeah, yeah, 288 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,240 Speaker 1: I mean they can fix it. You just look enlightened. Yeah, 289 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: you're like we're actually concerned. From now you are fine, 290 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,960 Speaker 1: You're not getting like how do we get off? You know, 291 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,760 Speaker 1: my buddy, my buddy Joe from my podcast and my 292 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,400 Speaker 1: co host on my podcast, Male Models, he got a 293 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: group on botox for his armpits. That helps you're not sweat, right, Yeah, 294 00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: I should probably do that. Maybe he was like This 295 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: was so jan Kie. I was like, well, where did 296 00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 1: they do it? He's like he had me meet him 297 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 1: at some like random and we work in a strip 298 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: mall and he showed up with like a briefcase full 299 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,840 Speaker 1: of syringes. I was like, no, this is this is 300 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: what look group on is great for a gym membership, 301 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: a pizza, you know, okay, a free app right, not syringes. Josh, 302 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 1: we need a doctor, bad guy. I know, Joe, shout 303 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,200 Speaker 1: out Joe. That's why he's good at podcasting. He's got 304 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 1: good stories. Yeah, like a lot of lifetime issues. Perhaps 305 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: it's fine. So how Josh, how long have you married? Now? Five? 306 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 1: It will be five years June seven. Uh? And then 307 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: you've got one kid? Right? Yeah? One kid? Oh? A 308 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: little boy? Max? Okay, how old is Max? These three? 309 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 1: I'm a three year old? Have a three year old? 310 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: We need a support group. How you doing over there? 311 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: I love it. It's so funny because today he had 312 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 1: a total meltdown before school and it was it was 313 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,880 Speaker 1: sort of rare for him. But um, it's fascinating watching 314 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 1: these kids. And I try to defer to my wife, 315 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: who's got a very healthy sort of outlook on these things, 316 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,800 Speaker 1: and she's like, there's no puffing up on your kid. 317 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,360 Speaker 1: There's like, you're not gonna be that dad who's raising 318 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: his voice and whatnot, because you get what you give, right, 319 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,480 Speaker 1: and he's gonna mirror you. And so when you see 320 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: kids who like scream at their parents at dinner, you know, 321 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:53,199 Speaker 1: your local cheesecake factory, it's probably because the parents are 322 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 1: screaming at them in private, and they probably used a 323 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: group on while they were there. Let's be honest. I 324 00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 1: have not seen a group on for a cheese because 325 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: you just kidding, I would be all over. I really 326 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,439 Speaker 1: think that's true, though, what you're saying, like it is 327 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,600 Speaker 1: about how you pour into them and what you get back. Like, 328 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:12,880 Speaker 1: emotionally intelligent humans come from emotionally intelligent humans. I don't 329 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 1: know anybody that's become emotionally intelligent out of fear, right, Yeah, absolutely, 330 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:21,560 Speaker 1: I don't think. I think it puts you at a disadvantage. 331 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 1: It puts you in a state where you're not able 332 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 1: to really listen. And here and he's such you know, 333 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: he's such a good boy. But you know, mornings like 334 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:33,120 Speaker 1: this you just kind of go, there's nothing wrong with him. 335 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,159 Speaker 1: This is impor me, it's part for the course, like 336 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,720 Speaker 1: it's a part of it. Yeah, I love like I 337 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: feel like Jason's like three nager is a real thing. 338 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 1: I went through it with Jolie. You know, everyone said 339 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:49,960 Speaker 1: the Terrible twos were amazing. Threes is like because it's 340 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: just the fits that they throw. But then they're they're 341 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,440 Speaker 1: they're rebound is so cute, you know, like once the 342 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,399 Speaker 1: once it gets there. But I feel like Jace is 343 00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 1: slowly as he's nearing for each month gets a little less. Yeah. 344 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: I always four was like literally like a light switch, 345 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:06,960 Speaker 1: like it was like three and then all of a sudden, 346 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,200 Speaker 1: each time each kid turned four, it was like, oh 347 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 1: my gosh, like smooth sailing. Now every time do you 348 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,159 Speaker 1: have you have a few kids older than four? I 349 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:23,240 Speaker 1: have three kids ten and six. No way, You're like, 350 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to talk like three times. I'm just kidding. 351 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 1: Actually is beautiful, she started, she started young, I did, yes, Um, okay, 352 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:34,600 Speaker 1: So do you want more kids? Yeah? Oh yeah, I 353 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,640 Speaker 1: definitely want one more. And then I always joked like 354 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: if I if I'm gonna have three or four, I'm 355 00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 1: gonna need a sitcom in l A where I'm getting 356 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:47,359 Speaker 1: paid and then and also just so I could be home, 357 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,119 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, like, because it's it's I 358 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: don't know how it is for you guys, but you 359 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 1: know you quickly sort of when you have kids. I 360 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,520 Speaker 1: guess it depends on who you are where. I've had 361 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 1: a few moments I'm like, did I pick the wrong profession? 362 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,240 Speaker 1: I can't. I hate being away. We're in that season 363 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: at our house right now. My husband travels a ton. 364 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 1: He's in um country music, and so he's just gone 365 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 1: a lot, which is like the blessing, right because you 366 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,879 Speaker 1: want to be busy. But then he's he's like, I 367 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:20,679 Speaker 1: miss everything, like the first baseball game and you know, 368 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,119 Speaker 1: our son's name is Legend and he just swam the 369 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,639 Speaker 1: other day for the first time by himself, and he 370 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,120 Speaker 1: was like, I wish I was there, and I'm like, yeah, 371 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,040 Speaker 1: it's just it's it's hard, it is. And also it's 372 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 1: you know, showing whenever I go off and do a film, 373 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I have all this guilt, right, so 374 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,159 Speaker 1: I'm away from my kids and yes they come with me, 375 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,960 Speaker 1: but still like the time that I don't spend with them. 376 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 1: And also it's showing them work and that you know 377 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:49,320 Speaker 1: we are, you know, obviously providing and showing that you 378 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: can do you can kind of do it all and 379 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 1: but it is hard, for sure, and it is hard 380 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 1: and and it's hard to do. Like I grew up 381 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:02,480 Speaker 1: by we lived in ten places before I was thirteen, 382 00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: you know, and switch schools and sort of bopped around 383 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,240 Speaker 1: from New York and Florida, and and so now I'm 384 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,439 Speaker 1: giving my kid as we all tend to do, like 385 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: the antithesis of that, like I'm like security roots home, 386 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,879 Speaker 1: you know, regimented and uh. But then you know, I 387 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,560 Speaker 1: was working on the show for like eight months in 388 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 1: Vancouver and granted he was too right and we were 389 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: locked up there and because it was COVID and it 390 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 1: was like the greatest adventure and he talks about it 391 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,800 Speaker 1: now and then it happens to remember that trampoline park 392 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,840 Speaker 1: in Vancouver, remember when we go to the beach, like 393 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,040 Speaker 1: he thinks of it so fondly. Now grantities in school 394 00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,560 Speaker 1: now it would probably be harder to disrupt that. But 395 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,879 Speaker 1: I have to remember to like don't overdo it, Like 396 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 1: don't you don't have to go so in the opposite 397 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,960 Speaker 1: direction of the way you grew up, because you turned out, Okay, 398 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: did I know? You did? You did? It's always we're 399 00:21:56,400 --> 00:22:00,800 Speaker 1: works in progress for sure. Yeah, it's a really good point, 400 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,000 Speaker 1: though you and I struggle with that. I felt like 401 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,960 Speaker 1: at the beginning, which part the regiments, like Janna and 402 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:14,120 Speaker 1: I bond over our love of control, and it's we're 403 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 1: also growing out of it together. I feel like we're 404 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:17,920 Speaker 1: doing a great job. I feel like we're doing a 405 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,400 Speaker 1: great job too. I know you are, specifically me this morning, 406 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,160 Speaker 1: probably not thriving but trying. But it is interesting because 407 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,919 Speaker 1: it's like you do thrive to give them everything you 408 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,600 Speaker 1: didn't have, which in my case was kind of a lot, 409 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,280 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, a pretty tumultuous upbringing a lot of 410 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,720 Speaker 1: alcohol and drugs in the house. Just I had to 411 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 1: be kind of older, faster, so I wasn't likely with 412 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 1: the man in my house. But I also wasn't I 413 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: was kind of like, can we get a man in 414 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,879 Speaker 1: this house? Because my dad's kind of like a monkey. 415 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 1: I'm confused. Um. So it's interesting because then I go 416 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: to like, okay, bathtime. It's we're not really scheduled, but 417 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 1: rituals matter to us, like the calming down and the 418 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:55,760 Speaker 1: feeling safe and talking about our feelings. And my husband's 419 00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: like one of three boys and if he's like, if 420 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 1: I hear one more feeling, I'll lose my mind. Yeah, 421 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: it's a lot. It's a hard it's a hard balance 422 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,679 Speaker 1: because what made you cool, what made all of us cool, 423 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 1: is our chanle Right, these trials, these things that we 424 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:17,080 Speaker 1: went through, and then if we sort of um, safety 425 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:19,760 Speaker 1: wrap of the world for our kids and or bubble 426 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,720 Speaker 1: wrap life right, then you know, then it goes the 427 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,640 Speaker 1: opposite direction and maybe they don't have some of that 428 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:29,800 Speaker 1: grit that that was a byproduct of the challenge that 429 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: we faced a kids. Yeah, I agree with that as 430 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 1: a husband. Is there something where you're like, I could 431 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: do better at this? Is there is there an area 432 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:55,680 Speaker 1: just just like you're just the one, maybe the biggest 433 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: one because you know it's gonna have to be a 434 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 1: longer podcast. Um, let's see, well, let's see what my wife. 435 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,960 Speaker 1: Let me think about my wife gets annoyed by I 436 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 1: think what a trend was, and I see that my 437 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,399 Speaker 1: mom does this, and I think I'm better at it. 438 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,760 Speaker 1: But it took me. You know, We've only been together 439 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,840 Speaker 1: ten years, so obviously I'm a quick learner. Um, my 440 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: wife would voice an issue like something she was annoyed by, 441 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 1: something she was upset that I did, and I'd go, yeah, well, 442 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,359 Speaker 1: look look what I do for us, Like it was 443 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,800 Speaker 1: always I'd always make it about me, and it was like, yeah, 444 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,239 Speaker 1: I know you're upset, but also like, look at all 445 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: the plates I'm spinning, you know, like, look at all 446 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 1: the things I'm doing for us, And it was like, idiot, 447 00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:44,280 Speaker 1: just acknowledge how I'm feeling, you know, just allow me 448 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 1: to have this moment and don't make it about you, 449 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:51,119 Speaker 1: and certainly don't compile a case of why I should 450 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:54,240 Speaker 1: be allowed this indiscretion because of how good I am 451 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:57,880 Speaker 1: to you, because I can go in both directions. So 452 00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:00,560 Speaker 1: that's I think I've gotten better. You can ask her, 453 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: but um that that took a while and I see, 454 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 1: oh my god, I see you with my mom shout 455 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,359 Speaker 1: out mom. But I'll tell her, I mean throughout my 456 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: whole life because again single mom. We moved to California 457 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 1: where I was fourteen to work as an actor. So 458 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,159 Speaker 1: anytime she would something would hurt me that she do 459 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,840 Speaker 1: I bring it up. She'd be like, well, I gave 460 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 1: up my life for you, so what are we talking, 461 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: are we not? And I think I need to talk 462 00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:33,520 Speaker 1: to your mom. I think I might have there probably yeah, yeah, okay, 463 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:38,320 Speaker 1: So then what's one thing that you do amazing? Also 464 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 1: neither longer podcast for that, dude, Josh the probably I 465 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: don't know. I'm really you know what I just put. 466 00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,320 Speaker 1: I'm I'm good. You know, I know my role in 467 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:53,120 Speaker 1: this in this world, right, is that I feel very 468 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:57,720 Speaker 1: overpaid by you know, my wife, my kid, my mom, 469 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: like my nuclear family, my in laws who are credible, 470 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:03,360 Speaker 1: like I have a lot of emotional support. And I 471 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: see my friends who have to deal with tough in 472 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:11,920 Speaker 1: laws or just a tough partner, and how that weighs 473 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:15,200 Speaker 1: on them and how it can infuse itself into all 474 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,000 Speaker 1: facets of their lives. And you know, things aren't good 475 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: at home, It's really hard for things to be good 476 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 1: outside of home. So I'm so overpaid in that way. 477 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 1: And my job, as I figured in this scenario, is 478 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,360 Speaker 1: to help support it financially, like and I'm good at that. 479 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:33,640 Speaker 1: I'm good at like putting my head down and working 480 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 1: and if I can, you know, keep the lights on 481 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: and make it so that nobody has to worry about 482 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,679 Speaker 1: like going and my wife's able to sort of focus 483 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: in on our kid, and he as a byproduct, he's 484 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 1: better for it. And so I'm sort of I'm glad 485 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: that I can help support my mom and my family, 486 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:53,199 Speaker 1: and in return, I get so much support to do 487 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: what I do. I love that. That's really beautiful. What 488 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,159 Speaker 1: do you do when you start to feel triggered and 489 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:05,760 Speaker 1: you know, the addiction piece starts to or does it? 490 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,439 Speaker 1: Does it? Does it come up? Or? And what do 491 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,320 Speaker 1: you do to help like stay centered and focused and 492 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 1: kind of go back to to the you know where 493 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 1: you're at today? Um, I mean, I'm in recovery. I've 494 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 1: been in twelve steps since I was twenty one, and 495 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:24,360 Speaker 1: I go regularly and I utilize it in every facet 496 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:27,439 Speaker 1: of who I am. Like unfortunately it's become a bit 497 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:31,200 Speaker 1: of a taboo word recently, but like throughout my life, 498 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 1: I was always looking for a vaccine from life, you know, 499 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 1: Like I was always just looking to, you know, get 500 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 1: a big enough part, make enough money, have enough women 501 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,359 Speaker 1: loved me to where finally I feel like I was 502 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,480 Speaker 1: at the finish line and I'd be all better. And 503 00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:50,679 Speaker 1: I realized that nothing good in life can be sustained 504 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 1: without practice. Last night, to me, I won't keep you fat. 505 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 1: And so for me, it's like keeping up with that 506 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:03,560 Speaker 1: spiritual acts. You know, what recoveries works for me is 507 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,640 Speaker 1: is the twelve step thing. A lot of people find 508 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:09,680 Speaker 1: other ways to sort of aid in that. Um so, yeah, 509 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: I've got a pretty good practice. You know. I go 510 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,639 Speaker 1: to meetings every week, and I talked to other sober guys, 511 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 1: and I try to meditate, but no one's really meditating 512 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 1: if we're being honest. So yeah, that that helps to 513 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,679 Speaker 1: combat those feelings. I don't ever consider a drink. What 514 00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:29,400 Speaker 1: I consider it's like some bad behavior or like, you know, 515 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,200 Speaker 1: yelling at my you know, like if I'm if I'm 516 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,560 Speaker 1: angry and I yell at my kid, or you know, 517 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 1: like or just like some bad behavior that I'll be 518 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 1: a witness too that will quickly make me uncomfortable. And 519 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: if I get uncomfortable, then I start thinking like what 520 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:56,280 Speaker 1: would calm me down? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah right, yeah, 521 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 1: it doesn't really have in a reflection moment, I'm bad 522 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 1: behavior and what would calm me down? Because I feel 523 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,520 Speaker 1: like we all have that is m in us, Like 524 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,400 Speaker 1: what calms us down from the breakup or from a 525 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,560 Speaker 1: you know, a divorce, or from the bad day at work, 526 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,320 Speaker 1: or it's like what is that thing? What's that is 527 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:17,480 Speaker 1: m that we go to versus what should be the 528 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 1: thing we go to, you know, either talking to a friend, 529 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 1: trying to meditate or you know, writing writing, or it's 530 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 1: like choosing that over the thing that probably are working out. 531 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:29,920 Speaker 1: Then then something that's not good for us, like the 532 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: bottle we had last night and that and then and 533 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,440 Speaker 1: I love you know, my wife has some margarita, you know, 534 00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:41,800 Speaker 1: with friends like I love. I love when people can 535 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: drink successfully and don't become like, you know, especially with 536 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: guys like angry assholes like the guy I bet buddies 537 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 1: who've gotten really angry and they're like, oh, I was drunk. 538 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, no, no no, you're angry, like just you 539 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,400 Speaker 1: being drunk. Let it come out in its in its 540 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 1: full form. But you know, it's fascinating when people drink 541 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,880 Speaker 1: when they're going through something, especially if they're feeling sad 542 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,280 Speaker 1: or going through a depressing moment, because you're treating depression 543 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: with a depressant and and so it's not you know, 544 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,720 Speaker 1: I think any wonder why you wake up the next 545 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,840 Speaker 1: morning and you feel even worse because it's like, well, 546 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,840 Speaker 1: what little good feeling chemicals were left in your brain 547 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 1: you depleted with that? I mean, in my case, Pina Colada, 548 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 1: I love a sugar drink. I wouldn't have pecked you. 549 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 1: I like them all. I mean, I haven't had a 550 00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 1: drinking fourteen years, but if I did, I wonder there 551 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 1: are new drinks like I remember when Heineken came out 552 00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:38,400 Speaker 1: with a line and I was like, yeah, that's not 553 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:45,320 Speaker 1: worth You don't even know. I will agree though, with 554 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,720 Speaker 1: what you're saying. So I hadn't drink. I hadn't really 555 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 1: drink anything in months until last night because I had 556 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: gone through a lot of loss. Last year, I had 557 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 1: five people passed away in my life, and one of 558 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:59,800 Speaker 1: them was my dad, so I and also grew up 559 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,960 Speaker 1: watching him treat depression with depression. I never saw my 560 00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: dad sober and I'm forty. So it was just like 561 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 1: a lot and I've kind of just made I didn't 562 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 1: make an official stance or rule. I didn't want any 563 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,400 Speaker 1: attention drawn to it. I just felt really anxious when 564 00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,200 Speaker 1: I would drink, so the next morning I would wake 565 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 1: up and I would just feel really worse off. So 566 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 1: for the last few months. Honestly, almost the last year 567 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: I have. I can count on hand how many drinks 568 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: I've really had because I just needed to keep myself 569 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:30,280 Speaker 1: as healthy and even as I could to deal with 570 00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 1: what was really in front of me. But last night 571 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,200 Speaker 1: was so fun for me because it was like my safe, safe, 572 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 1: safe people like I knew it was gonna They're just 573 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: my It just it was great to have a glass 574 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 1: of wine and I was like, Okay, this is good. 575 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:44,880 Speaker 1: Like I woke up this morning, I was just like 576 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 1: I had the time my life with those girls last night. 577 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,520 Speaker 1: We would have a time of our life sober anyways, 578 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,160 Speaker 1: like we're doing with you. You know, it was just 579 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 1: fun and it just took a deep breath. But I 580 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:57,920 Speaker 1: I really relate to you saying treating depression with depression 581 00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:01,360 Speaker 1: because it's it's in my family a lot, and it's 582 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,120 Speaker 1: really sad and you can waste a lot of your life. 583 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 1: My dad was sixty nine and I never really saw 584 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,960 Speaker 1: him ever joyful. M Well, I think there's a lot 585 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 1: of ways to do that too, not just with alcohol. Yeah, 586 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 1: Like for me, it's not necessarily alcohol, but I will 587 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: just kind of hold up on my own in my room. 588 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: But that's also depressing, not getting out of the house, 589 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: not getting out of the room. And food. I mean, 590 00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 1: I think food can be a big part of it 591 00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: for me too, but I think there's a lot of 592 00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: different things that can do that same thing for sure. 593 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,040 Speaker 1: You know, when I got sober, um, I remember I 594 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 1: would go to these meetings that all men meetings and 595 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 1: uh and and they would say things like if you 596 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: want self esteem, do asteamable, do asteamable acts. And I 597 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 1: remember thinking, like, for my whole life, I hear these platitudes, 598 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:51,040 Speaker 1: these great bumper stickers like um, you know, um, seek 599 00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:57,240 Speaker 1: your joy and you know, uh, just be um. I 600 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 1: don't know. There was just all these like they seem 601 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,480 Speaker 1: like destination right, Like sure, it sounds great, but I 602 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,600 Speaker 1: have no idea how to get there. And then like 603 00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 1: I literally had guys who said to me like, no, no, 604 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,760 Speaker 1: do something good for someone and don't get caught. That's 605 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 1: how you feel good. And I was like, but I 606 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: don't know where to like make make things your problem. 607 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 1: They're like next time you're at the grocery store and 608 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,400 Speaker 1: you see three or four cards in the parking lot 609 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: that aren't where they're supposed to be return them because 610 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 1: it's not your job. Like just try that to see 611 00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,800 Speaker 1: how you do clean the coffee pot stack some chairs, 612 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 1: Like I'm the kind of idiot that really needs some 613 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:39,680 Speaker 1: very rudimentary things. And then it was crazy the moment 614 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 1: that I did it, how I felt to shift And 615 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: so I can't think my way in the right acting 616 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,640 Speaker 1: like I need to disrupt whatever negative you know, thought 617 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,560 Speaker 1: patterns going on with what does my wife need? What 618 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,000 Speaker 1: does my kid need? And if I'm really on some 619 00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:57,920 Speaker 1: spiritual Jedi ship, it's like what is a stranger need? 620 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,720 Speaker 1: Because then I'm really you know, setting myself up to 621 00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 1: probably feel good after I love that. I'm gonna go 622 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,759 Speaker 1: do that. The carts, I love that. So I'm the 623 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,319 Speaker 1: person that leaves the cart get in. I'm gonna go. 624 00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 1: I want to say, I'm not surprised there's two types 625 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:17,600 Speaker 1: of people in the world. I could never do that. 626 00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:19,719 Speaker 1: Haven't you seen this? Doesn't this flits around all the time? 627 00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:24,160 Speaker 1: Can I just have so when I'm by myself, m 628 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,560 Speaker 1: let's be honest here, when I'm when i'm co co 629 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:33,879 Speaker 1: co cokay um, like I'm about like I'll put it back. 630 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:36,800 Speaker 1: When I'm with the kids. I can't They're already in 631 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,840 Speaker 1: the car. Oh no, no, no, not kids. Can you 632 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 1: put it in the corral? Well how can I? Well, 633 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:51,480 Speaker 1: you get him in the car. We're the same the car, Like, 634 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:56,759 Speaker 1: what's the corral? So I just picked the closest one 635 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,960 Speaker 1: where I can still mine are older now, but where 636 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,160 Speaker 1: I can keep my eye on the car, and then 637 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,080 Speaker 1: I put it in that. See that scares me to 638 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,839 Speaker 1: turn my back on the car because I'm saying, so, 639 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 1: how am I gonna do? You literally the car and 640 00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:13,239 Speaker 1: put the gold and corral. That's what I'm thinking. Already 641 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,439 Speaker 1: at the corral, Josh is like, I'm here. Don't worry. 642 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 1: Josh is fixing it all for you if you do. 643 00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:25,640 Speaker 1: Thanks Josh. Co co co co co co. Now, every 644 00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:27,080 Speaker 1: time I got the grocery shore, I'm gonna be like, 645 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:31,439 Speaker 1: this is probably Dr Phil said something like that one time. 646 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 1: I used to love Dr Phil. I felt like he 647 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,680 Speaker 1: was like the Southern dad I always wanted or something 648 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,279 Speaker 1: um But he said, if you wake up in the 649 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 1: morning This applied to spouses at the time. But I 650 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,680 Speaker 1: kind of think of it like worldwide. When I'm on 651 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:44,719 Speaker 1: my Jedi Josh, I like to think of it like 652 00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 1: at a higher level. But he said, if you wake 653 00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:48,080 Speaker 1: up in the morning, you think, how can I make 654 00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,080 Speaker 1: my spouses day better? And they wake up in the 655 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:52,200 Speaker 1: morning and they say, how can I make my spouses 656 00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,839 Speaker 1: day better? Like eventually you'll meet in the middle and 657 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:56,440 Speaker 1: like if everybody in the world woke up and I 658 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,480 Speaker 1: was like, hey, how could I like you know, like 659 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,600 Speaker 1: I stopped buying Starbucks for the people behind me, and 660 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 1: I started tipping the Burris dust because I feel like 661 00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:04,680 Speaker 1: those are the people that probably really need it, not 662 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,080 Speaker 1: the person that can afford the ten dollar coffee. It's 663 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:11,000 Speaker 1: the person that's you know, working in the I do too, 664 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 1: but it's easy because the app Oh yeah, the cash 665 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:21,920 Speaker 1: carrying is intentional, right, But I'm with you. Yeah, it's 666 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 1: a it's a it's a tough it's a tough balance. 667 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,719 Speaker 1: But I know it's funny, you see, Dr Phil, Because 668 00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:30,400 Speaker 1: I was working on this TV show at Paramount Studios 669 00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:34,239 Speaker 1: and there's just sick Badley park in front of a 670 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,040 Speaker 1: big stage. But I'm talking like sick to me, like 671 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:42,040 Speaker 1: totally blacked out, like looks like, uh, you know Jack 672 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:46,120 Speaker 1: Harlow should be driving this, okay, just blacked out perfect 673 00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:50,480 Speaker 1: like dope on some some hip hop and uh and 674 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:51,880 Speaker 1: I was like, whose car is this and they go, 675 00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:59,120 Speaker 1: it's Dr Bills. No way, that's not what I guess. 676 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,280 Speaker 1: Room to drive. I thought a big pickup or something, 677 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:07,200 Speaker 1: dr felt Mercedes. Ok he thought he was a badass 678 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:11,160 Speaker 1: Bentley like a batmobile. Like just hot? Was it hot? Yeah? 679 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,279 Speaker 1: Just like looked like it came from like Platinum Imports. 680 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,520 Speaker 1: Like yeah, like if he was going to spend dumb money, 681 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,320 Speaker 1: I would think you have like an old man Rolves 682 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,640 Speaker 1: Royce or something. But like this was this was cool, 683 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,759 Speaker 1: This was cool. Well man, Dr Phil take off that 684 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:31,680 Speaker 1: tie and he's a band of human when he's just film. Okay, 685 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,920 Speaker 1: So back to people being annoying happy? What what is 686 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,440 Speaker 1: the what are the things that you want people to 687 00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:41,520 Speaker 1: get out of from reading your book? Oh? Man, you 688 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,920 Speaker 1: know I wanted I thought it would be a ridiculous 689 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,200 Speaker 1: thing to write a memoir at thirty five, So I 690 00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:50,319 Speaker 1: was like, and also, the thing about memoirs is are 691 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,160 Speaker 1: usually written by people at the finish line, and thus 692 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,680 Speaker 1: I feel like they can be a little bit hard 693 00:37:55,719 --> 00:38:00,000 Speaker 1: to identify with because they're so impressive. So I was like, well, 694 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:03,120 Speaker 1: I'm not that but what I can do is write 695 00:38:03,320 --> 00:38:06,439 Speaker 1: about views from the halfway point, and like tell other 696 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,680 Speaker 1: people who are thirty five and younger, even though I 697 00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 1: think you can enjoy it if you're older, like, hey, 698 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:13,960 Speaker 1: I just walked through it, Like I just had an 699 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:16,480 Speaker 1: inflection point. I just grew up over the last few 700 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,880 Speaker 1: years and got married and had a kid. Here's some 701 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,440 Speaker 1: some perspective. Here's some things that helped me throughout a 702 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:28,480 Speaker 1: tumultuous team or twenties or early thirties time. Maybe that 703 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:31,120 Speaker 1: can help you, you know. I love when people who 704 00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,799 Speaker 1: are on the same sort of paths me, but just 705 00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:37,840 Speaker 1: a few steps ahead, give me good recon like good feedback, 706 00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,280 Speaker 1: like hey, there's a pothole here, and there's a speed 707 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,480 Speaker 1: bump here, and if you keep your eye out you 708 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,080 Speaker 1: can probably avoid them. So that's what the book was. 709 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:48,200 Speaker 1: It was to help similar people like me on on 710 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:50,960 Speaker 1: the same path. I love that. That's kind of this 711 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:55,200 Speaker 1: couch for me. Yeah, I'm like game, there's a big pot, 712 00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:01,560 Speaker 1: so of us choosed to hit hole anyways, Josh, but 713 00:39:02,200 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: we're we're trying to go around it. But you can 714 00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 1: learn a lot in the pothole. Pot hold hard for 715 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:13,799 Speaker 1: nine years, really, but it's fine fine co and co. Yeah, 716 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:17,399 Speaker 1: um okay, Josh, what by the way, time out John 717 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,480 Speaker 1: John Stamos is he just like the coolest dude ever. Yeah, 718 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:25,280 Speaker 1: he's so handsome. He's supposed to the inside of a drawer, 719 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,799 Speaker 1: you know, like really like like man like would here 720 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,720 Speaker 1: and like tobacco, but he doesn't smoke. It's just like 721 00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:37,840 Speaker 1: he's the best. He's very Greek, he's very handsome, and 722 00:39:37,920 --> 00:39:40,240 Speaker 1: he's good people. And I can't believe that we're actual 723 00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:42,719 Speaker 1: real friends because as you guys know, you never make 724 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,160 Speaker 1: friends and show biz like real friends, and especially if 725 00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,480 Speaker 1: they're John Stamos. But somehow we've like we have a 726 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:53,640 Speaker 1: really nice relationship. John is a good friend when he 727 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,839 Speaker 1: chooses to be a friend, Like I've heard that. Yeah, 728 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,719 Speaker 1: he's the best, he really and he loves to be 729 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:03,319 Speaker 1: the he loves to be needed. Well, he's a Leo, 730 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:07,880 Speaker 1: so that matters. Love Leo's are you guys les? No, 731 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:11,359 Speaker 1: but my soulmate is a Leo. Apparently, Sagittarius is and Leo, 732 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,160 Speaker 1: which is why I'm naming my dog Leo because because 733 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:16,360 Speaker 1: you know, single as ever, so I'm like, I'm just 734 00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 1: gonna get a dog to fill my man, my man, soulmate, 735 00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:22,839 Speaker 1: need for it? Are you not? I'm married? Did you 736 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:28,120 Speaker 1: see I told you? What are you? What are you? Leo? 737 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:34,120 Speaker 1: I'm married to Leo. I'm married to John Stamos. Hey, ironically, 738 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:36,280 Speaker 1: my husband just played with John Stamos at the Ryman. 739 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,720 Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, because John goes out with the beach boys. 740 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:47,080 Speaker 1: He's a drummer. I know he doesn't do it? Is it? 741 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,120 Speaker 1: Is it crazy to you though? Like I grew up 742 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,920 Speaker 1: with Uncle Jesse, right, So it's like I mean I 743 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,120 Speaker 1: grew up with him by watching. I mean it matters. 744 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:57,279 Speaker 1: He mattered to me. And now he's like he's just 745 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 1: he's a drummer and he plays like he's good at 746 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,279 Speaker 1: all the things. Thanks. I don't know why. I feel 747 00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:05,160 Speaker 1: like John is like a national treasure. It was like, 748 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 1: m He's a total national treasure. And yet like the 749 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:14,480 Speaker 1: moment you hung out with him, and like I remember that. 750 00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 1: Within a few weeks I saw him looking at his 751 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:23,280 Speaker 1: phone and his text on the phone was really big amazing, 752 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:30,959 Speaker 1: like he found a crack in the armor. Yeah, liked 753 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,960 Speaker 1: this line for me and cover your left eye, John, 754 00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,880 Speaker 1: I like it or yeah, whole like textually be like 755 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:38,000 Speaker 1: what do you think of his Instagram caption. I'll be like, 756 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,600 Speaker 1: you're fifty five. He'll be like that sound nice, Like 757 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,200 Speaker 1: is he really fifty five? Why does he look like 758 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:53,719 Speaker 1: he's preserved for sure? Come on, I mean he's I mean, 759 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:57,400 Speaker 1: I don't know. He probably does like expensive batials and whatnot. 760 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,399 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, it's it's great, Hey, 761 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:02,319 Speaker 1: you're real friends with him, so find out for us 762 00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,399 Speaker 1: because we all want to know. Yeah, he's fifty eight, 763 00:42:05,560 --> 00:42:09,719 Speaker 1: that's crazy. It looks great. I'm gonna start telling people 764 00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 1: I'm fifty eight, and they're gonna start thinking, really good night, 765 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:18,560 Speaker 1: it's really smart. I'm going, yeah, it's great. You look 766 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 1: great for thirty five, though honestly you don't look thirty 767 00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:27,239 Speaker 1: five for sure. And so okay, so your bookstack, but 768 00:42:27,280 --> 00:42:28,920 Speaker 1: I feel like Josh is like hanging out with that. 769 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,760 Speaker 1: I forget we're like a podcast because he's a homie. 770 00:42:31,760 --> 00:42:34,080 Speaker 1: That dude, he's a homie. I love it. Um, well, 771 00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,919 Speaker 1: everyone go get his book. Happy people are annoying? And then, um, 772 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,400 Speaker 1: where can our listeners? Obviously they all know you, but 773 00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:43,000 Speaker 1: for those that you know are under a rock, where 774 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:47,040 Speaker 1: should they? Where can they find you? Um? You can 775 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,279 Speaker 1: find my podcasts and Male Models Podcast wherever podcasts are available, 776 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:56,680 Speaker 1: and I guess Instagram. I love it. Okay, great, Well, 777 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 1: thank you for thank you for just being authentic and 778 00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:02,960 Speaker 1: vulnerable and sharing your struggles. I know a lot of 779 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,040 Speaker 1: people can relate to it, and so I love the 780 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,600 Speaker 1: fact that you're in the spotlight and you're willing to 781 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,399 Speaker 1: be open and raw and share your experiences because you're 782 00:43:11,400 --> 00:43:13,120 Speaker 1: helping a lot of people. So thank you for doing that. 783 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,480 Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. Thank you guys for having me. 784 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:24,200 Speaker 1: I love chatting with you. Thanks Josh, We're like Josh's angels. 785 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:45,120 Speaker 1: Good morning, Josh bag. Oh you're so sleet. Love good energy, Yes, 786 00:43:45,520 --> 00:43:48,560 Speaker 1: good energy. I love the quote he said, he said, 787 00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,640 Speaker 1: last night's meal won't keep you fed. I know, I 788 00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:52,880 Speaker 1: was like, I need a minut. I'm going to re 789 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,680 Speaker 1: listen to this like a couple of times to write 790 00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,359 Speaker 1: a few things down because he's get the book. He's 791 00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:01,720 Speaker 1: so sweet and like of that people share that he's sharing. 792 00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:05,880 Speaker 1: I love that. Thanks for sharing. Mm hm, is there 793 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:11,640 Speaker 1: a book called Thanks for Sharing? Probably I'm saying things, 794 00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:15,719 Speaker 1: but I don't know. I don't know. Oh, I think 795 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,040 Speaker 1: it is a show. Yeah, and it was a it 796 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,600 Speaker 1: was a movie about addiction. I think. I don't know, 797 00:44:23,080 --> 00:44:26,200 Speaker 1: I remember. I think I watched it, but that's how 798 00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:30,360 Speaker 1: much I can remember. Any remember nothing, Catherine. Let's do 799 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,439 Speaker 1: a little check in with you. How's the heart? Hearts good? Yeah, 800 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,399 Speaker 1: heart's good. Yeah. You know, all in all doing well. 801 00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:41,759 Speaker 1: Had moments, you know, moments with the kids and you know, 802 00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,839 Speaker 1: our new normal, but all in all, I think we're 803 00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,319 Speaker 1: all doing well. Is there something that you've seen a 804 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:52,880 Speaker 1: little bit of a like, oh, like this is not 805 00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:57,000 Speaker 1: like great, but like this is I'm going to try. Yeah. 806 00:44:57,000 --> 00:45:01,600 Speaker 1: I mean I think that there's definitely a sense of relief, um, 807 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:04,279 Speaker 1: and that I made the right decision and that we're 808 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,120 Speaker 1: doing the right thing. Um. That doesn't mean that steps 809 00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,560 Speaker 1: of it are hard and pieces are hard. Um. But again, 810 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,360 Speaker 1: we're getting along really, really well, and I'm so thankful 811 00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,919 Speaker 1: for that because I can't imagine you know, going through 812 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:19,720 Speaker 1: it fighting and especially I mean, the kids are so busy. 813 00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,360 Speaker 1: So it's like we sat next to each other at 814 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:24,200 Speaker 1: the basketball game and like we talk, and you know, 815 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:25,920 Speaker 1: I think that in the end that's going to be 816 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,879 Speaker 1: really healthy for the kids. So, you know, I think 817 00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,879 Speaker 1: relief is kind of a word that I keep really, 818 00:45:32,040 --> 00:45:35,520 Speaker 1: you know, I keep using. I just think that there's 819 00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,000 Speaker 1: definitely some relief, and I think that it's all going 820 00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:41,520 Speaker 1: to be for the best, for sure, and that you 821 00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,520 Speaker 1: feel that in your soul, which is like knowing that 822 00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:46,600 Speaker 1: you made the right decision for you and for you know, 823 00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:50,560 Speaker 1: for y'all. It's like that's got to feel really really good. Yeah, 824 00:45:50,760 --> 00:45:55,520 Speaker 1: it does. It does, And you know, I'm sure along 825 00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:57,719 Speaker 1: the way there's going to be hiccups and things are 826 00:45:57,719 --> 00:46:00,040 Speaker 1: going to be hard, but all at all, Yeah, I 827 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,960 Speaker 1: think that it's I think when things are too easy, 828 00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,960 Speaker 1: it's because there wasn't love there. Sure, So I think 829 00:46:07,040 --> 00:46:09,600 Speaker 1: that any rocky road is because there was some sort 830 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,200 Speaker 1: of love there or is still some and then there's 831 00:46:12,400 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 1: there's a lot of respect. Like we texted both of 832 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:21,640 Speaker 1: you separately. Why I texted you, but Preston I texted 833 00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:24,400 Speaker 1: him separately, and I just was very like, I just 834 00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:26,680 Speaker 1: felt like, I was like, holy, this is like a 835 00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:32,879 Speaker 1: really mature thing, Like you both are just stand up 836 00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:36,880 Speaker 1: good people. The way you responded about it and about 837 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:41,799 Speaker 1: each other, it's just really amazing. Yeah, I'm really really 838 00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:45,200 Speaker 1: thankful for that. That was That was probably my my 839 00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:48,360 Speaker 1: biggest prayer going into it, like I knew at the 840 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:50,120 Speaker 1: end of the day, we would do everything that was 841 00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,040 Speaker 1: right for the kids, that the kids will be okay, 842 00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:55,680 Speaker 1: He'll be okay, I'll be okay. But my biggest prayers 843 00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:58,080 Speaker 1: that we could just get along well to do that 844 00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,360 Speaker 1: much life together and still have so much spect for 845 00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,719 Speaker 1: each other. It's huge, for sure, that's huge. Yeah. So 846 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,520 Speaker 1: and at the outpouring that I got from people, and 847 00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:10,040 Speaker 1: I know we talked about that has just been amazing. 848 00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:12,799 Speaker 1: I don't feel so alone anymore about being the guy 849 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,320 Speaker 1: in the relationship. There's a lot of people there's like 850 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:17,160 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm the dude. I feel like I'm 851 00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,880 Speaker 1: the only one, you know, And so I was the 852 00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,360 Speaker 1: dude in the last marriage. I was the dude. Yeah, 853 00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,399 Speaker 1: that kind of surprises me. Really. Well, you just love 854 00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:31,560 Speaker 1: talking about feelings and stuff, and that's like not talked 855 00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:35,399 Speaker 1: about feelings. And I also was like, yeah, I think 856 00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:38,360 Speaker 1: there's different Well, sure, I think there's different ways to 857 00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,520 Speaker 1: be kind of I was like, I'm talking about my feelings. 858 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:42,160 Speaker 1: I'm getting really irritated with you, So can you do 859 00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:45,880 Speaker 1: the dishes? White go to work because I'm exhausted yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 860 00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,280 Speaker 1: So how how many years out are you from that divorce? 861 00:47:49,160 --> 00:47:58,399 Speaker 1: Mhm eight eight years? Yeah, I always forget you've been divorced. Yeah, 862 00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:01,840 Speaker 1: me too. But I picked my battles. I think differently 863 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:08,160 Speaker 1: in the second marriage. Sure it's good. Yeah, oh I 864 00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:12,080 Speaker 1: like so much, doesn't okay whatever? Yeah right, But I 865 00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,680 Speaker 1: also just have like I married someone completely opposite, so 866 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:19,200 Speaker 1: like a real provider, someone who's like dedicated. It was 867 00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:21,080 Speaker 1: a really cool take to listen to how Josh talked 868 00:48:21,080 --> 00:48:25,759 Speaker 1: about like how he's well paid. Um, I'm about to 869 00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:28,760 Speaker 1: snip at that and send it on over in a text. 870 00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:33,040 Speaker 1: Because Preston provides for us, like financially all the time, 871 00:48:33,080 --> 00:48:35,839 Speaker 1: you know, and I just have not been used to that. 872 00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:39,200 Speaker 1: So that's my own adjustment. Sure, I was the breadwinner 873 00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,160 Speaker 1: in my marriage before. Yeah, that's going to be really 874 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,200 Speaker 1: hard for me. It's hard in the next relationship because 875 00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:50,080 Speaker 1: it's I love supporting other people and I don't want 876 00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:54,120 Speaker 1: to support and because everybody I've dated has not had 877 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,400 Speaker 1: a job or hardly had a job and took everything 878 00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,320 Speaker 1: like I paid for everything. I yeah, you know, socially 879 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:04,480 Speaker 1: paid for everything, and so it's just you. Yeah, and 880 00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:07,040 Speaker 1: it's like I don't, it would be nice, Like I 881 00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:11,000 Speaker 1: still will probably not accept it well because it's it 882 00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:14,279 Speaker 1: is hard. Yeah, like I I don't, that'll be very 883 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:17,640 Speaker 1: difficult and I'll never want like I don't want it. 884 00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,759 Speaker 1: I just it would be nice to go. I can 885 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,799 Speaker 1: breathe a little bit. So I'm trying to step up 886 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,000 Speaker 1: a little there for us, like I'm gonna stay at 887 00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:27,800 Speaker 1: home mom, but I'm trying to have enough side hustle 888 00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:30,799 Speaker 1: that I feel like I'm contributing something. I think that 889 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:32,799 Speaker 1: just takes a lot of pressure off of the other. 890 00:49:33,000 --> 00:49:34,840 Speaker 1: I do too, think it's it's hard for men and 891 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,480 Speaker 1: it's hard for women, and we don't no matter what 892 00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:40,480 Speaker 1: side need it. But I need it sure, like I 893 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:44,800 Speaker 1: want to go like here. That was always why I worked. 894 00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:46,520 Speaker 1: I mean I didn't work for one year, but I 895 00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:48,960 Speaker 1: just and not that he ever put that on me, 896 00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,759 Speaker 1: but it's like I want to feel like I yeah, 897 00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,279 Speaker 1: like a teammate. Let's talk about that one year and 898 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:58,400 Speaker 1: when that happened, because that was when that was right 899 00:49:58,440 --> 00:50:02,400 Speaker 1: before I got married. Catherine was my matron of honor, 900 00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:09,080 Speaker 1: made of honor matron, and and she calls me and 901 00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:11,960 Speaker 1: this is when I think love was just it was 902 00:50:12,040 --> 00:50:14,640 Speaker 1: right before we was before we released I got the boy. 903 00:50:14,920 --> 00:50:17,760 Speaker 1: Um love had just like fallen off, like literally that week. 904 00:50:17,960 --> 00:50:21,000 Speaker 1: Love was the song. It was, Yeah, girl, it was 905 00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:23,120 Speaker 1: really close because I was like my oldert life, everyone's leaving, 906 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:27,120 Speaker 1: my pants leaving. She calls me and she goes, so 907 00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:31,640 Speaker 1: I'm going to leave the position. She was my day 908 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,719 Speaker 1: to day manager. And she's like, so, if you don't 909 00:50:34,719 --> 00:50:37,279 Speaker 1: want me to be in your wedding anymore, I understand, 910 00:50:37,320 --> 00:50:42,440 Speaker 1: And I was like what, I was so hurt. I 911 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:46,440 Speaker 1: started crying and I understand. It was just really talking 912 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:51,839 Speaker 1: side and I just remember being like in my mind, 913 00:50:51,840 --> 00:50:53,960 Speaker 1: I was like that so we were just friends through work, 914 00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,520 Speaker 1: Like to me, we were my Like that's why would 915 00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:01,000 Speaker 1: you even say that to me? Like? That was so her? 916 00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:05,919 Speaker 1: I was so upset. Fair, I totally understand that. Now. 917 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,359 Speaker 1: What you have to understand about that position and me 918 00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:13,040 Speaker 1: is that's a defense mechanism for me because one of 919 00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:15,479 Speaker 1: my biggest fears was getting close to someone I worked 920 00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,879 Speaker 1: with and then never seeing them again, because I saw 921 00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:22,399 Speaker 1: it happen too many times yourself before you can be rejected. Yeah. Oh, 922 00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,879 Speaker 1: it was totally a defense mechanism because all I thought 923 00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,319 Speaker 1: about it was like, oh my god, I'm gonna quit, 924 00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:27,640 Speaker 1: and then she's not gonna be in the wedding and 925 00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:29,759 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be so upset. And so it was just 926 00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:34,239 Speaker 1: like this immediate like protect yourself, you know. So then 927 00:51:34,400 --> 00:51:36,319 Speaker 1: I didn't even you know, know that you were upset 928 00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:37,840 Speaker 1: about it, and then I found out and then we 929 00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,480 Speaker 1: were like, okay, we still love each other, it's all 930 00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:43,160 Speaker 1: in the wedding. Yeah, I was still the major one. Yeah, yeah, 931 00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:47,719 Speaker 1: I feel like I missed the season finale. You know. 932 00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,440 Speaker 1: We worked through it and we realized that we were 933 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,640 Speaker 1: both just like upset or whatever, and then she came 934 00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:54,200 Speaker 1: back to work. You know. What's interesting though, I think 935 00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,480 Speaker 1: looking back, I knew it was before I got pregnant 936 00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,600 Speaker 1: with Ramsey. It was that I knew that I wanted 937 00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:02,920 Speaker 1: another child, but we were also having issues then in 938 00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:05,360 Speaker 1: our marriage, and so I think part of it was 939 00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:07,520 Speaker 1: like maybe if I come home and I focus more 940 00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:09,279 Speaker 1: and did da da da, you know. So it was 941 00:52:09,280 --> 00:52:11,359 Speaker 1: all just trying to figure things out. And it didn't 942 00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:14,000 Speaker 1: last very long. It was a year. Yeah you're yeah, 943 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,279 Speaker 1: you're gonna wouldn't yeah, because because I came back right 944 00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,520 Speaker 1: like I mean I decided to come back before I 945 00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:21,680 Speaker 1: had Ramsey, so then I took maternity leave and came 946 00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:26,000 Speaker 1: back three months after. I'm sorry, here we are no God, 947 00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:28,280 Speaker 1: please grow. That's water at the bridge. It was just funny, 948 00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:32,120 Speaker 1: Like that story that's talk about that doesn't talk about 949 00:52:32,120 --> 00:52:39,120 Speaker 1: the year you took off skirty skirt. Well, this is fun. Uh, 950 00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:43,960 Speaker 1: don't forget you. Guys can see us on tour. Um. 951 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,759 Speaker 1: Why am I so pumped about fun? It was gonna 952 00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:49,960 Speaker 1: be fun so um. Go to Janna kramer dot com 953 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:54,360 Speaker 1: slash tour to get your tickets to coming to Atlanta, UM, Chicago, Nashville. 954 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,080 Speaker 1: It's gonna be a really good time. Guaranteed one of 955 00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:59,080 Speaker 1: us will hug you. I'm gonna tell you which one 956 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:01,480 Speaker 1: is not gonna hey, I'm working on it. It might 957 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:04,640 Speaker 1: be signing off go co co co cool, go go, 958 00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:05,319 Speaker 1: I guess