Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific Boom.
Speaker 1: If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week
Speaker 1: was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot
Speaker 1: takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with
Speaker 1: Ben Maller starts right now, nine in the air everywhere
Speaker 1: the vast and ever expansive power of podcasting, the I
Speaker 1: Heart Podcast Network Gmail, well wherever you get your podcast,
Speaker 1: and we thank you for finding the podcast. We thank
Speaker 1: you for that appreciated. This the Saturday edition of The
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour, because eight days a week we do this show.
Speaker 1: Now four hours not enough on the overnight. And if
Speaker 1: you haven't figured out by this a spinoff of the
Speaker 1: Ben Maller Radio Show. And I'm curious, is there anyone
Speaker 1: that listens to this that does not listen to the
Speaker 1: other show. I find that hard to believe, but maybe
Speaker 1: that's the case. Maybe there's some people that only listen
Speaker 1: to The Fifth hour podcast because we can say naughty
Speaker 1: words and we can't say naughty words on the radio.
Speaker 1: It's possible. Joined yet again, right over there, David Gascon
Speaker 1: making his way into the studio. So yeah, pleasantly tim
Speaker 1: into the studio. It's always nice to do this when
Speaker 1: college football is going on. It's uh much better for me,
Speaker 1: and uh, I know it's better for you. Would you
Speaker 1: be surprised if anyone does actually listen to podcast and
Speaker 1: doesn't listen to your show? Uh maybe your family like
Speaker 1: Other than that, that would be awkward, I would say,
Speaker 1: because if you download the show podcast, I think you
Speaker 1: get this whether you want it or not. I think
Speaker 1: it just feeds. It's on the same feat. I can
Speaker 1: change that though, if you like the death Spots who
Speaker 1: run the podcast game that the dictatorship strong arm this
Speaker 1: podcast into the Twitter the Twitter feed the podcast feed
Speaker 1: to the other one. Yeah, I definitely help with that
Speaker 1: since so I can certainly remove it and test drive
Speaker 1: that out and see how many people actually listen to
Speaker 1: just the fifth hour as opposed to Yeah, well it
Speaker 1: would be great to see and do a test and
Speaker 1: then make people have to find the podcast, have to
Speaker 1: spontaneously find the podcast I think it would be. I
Speaker 1: think it'd be fascinating, at least for a short period
Speaker 1: of time. I know the female listeners are more attracted
Speaker 1: to this portion of your content as opposed to the
Speaker 1: overnight show, but that's well, why would not, guess? Why?
Speaker 1: Why would the reasons? When you're six ft one and
Speaker 1: under twenty pounds and kind of full head of hair
Speaker 1: and a great beard and awesome shoulders, I think there's
Speaker 1: a right old reason why you'd come here as opposed
Speaker 1: to the Monday through Friday theatrics of overnight drunk Radio
Speaker 1: La d Do lad Do. I don't know, Mr elitist
Speaker 1: right over there, Mr name dropper, Mr pompous ass, I
Speaker 1: am David. Guess. Guys trying to get to the Pat
Speaker 1: O'Brien status, you know, West of the four Old. I
Speaker 1: love peep be Man, that guy that was so much
Speaker 1: fun that Pat O'Brien was. I don't want to say
Speaker 1: he's my favorite because I don't want to offend Tony
Speaker 1: Bruno and Hacksaw and all the other great people we've had,
Speaker 1: Leo Terrell and all these other wonderful people. You could
Speaker 1: just say he's he is the welcoming Committee. He is
Speaker 1: the ranchero. Pat O'Brien, right, he is the greeter at Walmart.
Speaker 1: He shepherd's in everyone. What a what a fun guy.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm gonna hang out with I was talking to
Speaker 1: him after we did the podcast, and we're gonna go
Speaker 1: out to some restaurant and Beverly is See the problem here,
Speaker 1: here's my problem. I have the diet. I have the
Speaker 1: palette of an eight year old. Pat has a more
Speaker 1: advanced palate, So he is gonna want to go to
Speaker 1: some high in Beverly Hills restaurant. I don't want to
Speaker 1: do that. I haven't been to the restaurants, and I
Speaker 1: haven't been to Beverly Hills in a while. Obviously since
Speaker 1: the apocalypse. Are are the restaurants having the wealthy elite
Speaker 1: people dining outside? Yeah? Oh yeah, they're doing all of it.
Speaker 1: Mastros is there, Ocean Prime is there. I think Craigs
Speaker 1: is there. In West Hollywood, there's a bunch of spots
Speaker 1: they're still open. They do the out so outside dining.
Speaker 1: They do it like right where the parking meters are at.
Speaker 1: For the diagonal spots. You've been doing a lot like
Speaker 1: a nel Segundo Manhattan Beach Horrosa Rodondo. They're doing all
Speaker 1: up and down the coastline, so you needn't make your
Speaker 1: way out, make your way out west. Those are my people.
Speaker 1: I say audios to those people. I hang out with
Speaker 1: the working class. I like the people who have grit,
Speaker 1: they have dirt under their fingernails. Those are my people.
Speaker 1: Under your fingernails. Yes, I do. I gotta. I gotta
Speaker 1: carry you. I carry you more noon and night on
Speaker 1: these podcasts. I do. I got my lunch pail right here.
Speaker 1: I've got my my spider Man lunch pail. You gotta understand, guesting,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no rest for the wicked. There is
Speaker 1: no rest for the wicked. I heard that somewhere back
Speaker 1: in the back in the day. I learned when I
Speaker 1: was a little kid from Mr Miyagi. Wax on wax off.
Speaker 1: That's right, that was what he taught Daniel kid. I
Speaker 1: thought the most important thing with that conversation with Pat
Speaker 1: yesterday was the fact that he actually likes going into
Speaker 1: the radio studio, which is an immediate for Ben. I
Speaker 1: did well. The funny thing is, I I remember when
Speaker 1: I got the phone call from I Heart Media and
Speaker 1: our boss said, Hey, Ben, you know, we're getting having
Speaker 1: everybody at work from from home. You know, you're gonna
Speaker 1: have a work from home. And I was like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I really like going to the radio I
Speaker 1: told him, as I said, you know, Scott, I said,
Speaker 1: Scott said, I like going to the radio station. I
Speaker 1: hope this is only temporary. Uh. And now I have
Speaker 1: become a big fan of working out of the home studio,
Speaker 1: and now I don't want to go back, and so
Speaker 1: so now it's it's a weird it's a weird thing.
Speaker 1: I got used to it. See, this is I'm a
Speaker 1: creature of habit. Most people are creatures of habit. I
Speaker 1: was very used to going into the radio station. I
Speaker 1: had my routine. My routine got screwed up because of
Speaker 1: the apocapse. Everyone's life got turned upside down. But now
Speaker 1: this is my new normal, and I like my new normal.
Speaker 1: I have a good setup. It works for me. It's nice.
Speaker 1: I don't have to, you know, worry about caltrans closing
Speaker 1: the freeway or an accident or getting pulled over on
Speaker 1: the way to work or anything like that. I'm good.
Speaker 1: But this is, this is what you've gone to in
Speaker 1: the past. You always talk about it's not the it's
Speaker 1: not your final destination. It's the journey. Like every day
Speaker 1: you drive into work, there's a journey. There's an accident,
Speaker 1: no no, but this is part of the journey. I
Speaker 1: gotta literally walk from my bedroom down the hall and
Speaker 1: make a left turn into the studio. It's not that easy, guest, gut.
Speaker 1: I could trip over some laundry on the floor, and
Speaker 1: I could injure myself, right, I mean, maybe I'll walk
Speaker 1: into the wall by mistake or and it's all kinds
Speaker 1: of calamities that could go wrong. If your show on
Speaker 1: Sunday night just as a disaster in terms of power
Speaker 1: and you have to drive into the studio. This is
Speaker 1: so dramatic. You're something actually an introvert, So it's nice
Speaker 1: for you to like get outside a little bit, an extrovert.
Speaker 1: I get out of colleagues on the studio. That's fine.
Speaker 1: I don't You don't want to make too much noise, guests,
Speaker 1: because I learned this from a hunter back in the day,
Speaker 1: that the quacking duck gets shot. So you don't want
Speaker 1: to be the one quacking. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, you're in sports talk radio. All you do
Speaker 1: is quack for four hours money through Friday. That's true.
Speaker 1: I blow a couple of blood vessels, have an aneurysm,
Speaker 1: have a coron area and go home and call it
Speaker 1: a day. Now, have you jumped in on the parade
Speaker 1: of of media personalities that have taken shots across the valve?
Speaker 1: I mean, last week, week and a half, we've had
Speaker 1: personalities from Fox, ESPN and other platforms that have taken
Speaker 1: some some shots to the forehead. Uh with people in
Speaker 1: their approaches, their professionalism, What are you getting at? Stop
Speaker 1: beating around the bush. Just say what you want to say.
Speaker 1: I am telling you there there's people that are doing this.
Speaker 1: They're taking shots at everybody. So are you are you
Speaker 1: wanting to take those shots? Because Pat says he's not
Speaker 1: active on on Twitter, No he's not. He hasn't sent
Speaker 1: a tweet out since yea and part of it because
Speaker 1: things just get blown up. But yeah, I'm curiously well,
Speaker 1: it's a weird ecosystem on Twitter, right, So I I
Speaker 1: have really rolled it back. I'd i'd great advice from
Speaker 1: a buddy of mine in radio, and I think I've
Speaker 1: said it here on the air, But we have more
Speaker 1: latitude on radio. That is Casablanca compared to social media.
Speaker 1: Social media is this matrix like ecosystem. It's not real,
Speaker 1: but yet it can lead to real bad things happening. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like a soul for ship. Yeah. And part of it,
Speaker 1: my my theory on this is because it's the written word,
Speaker 1: the spoken word. Will I love the spoken word. We've
Speaker 1: done this, I've done this. My entire life made money
Speaker 1: from the spoken word. The written word. It just stays there.
Speaker 1: And people read a tweet, and they read it over
Speaker 1: and over again. They work themselves into a ladder, and
Speaker 1: then they add on to it things that aren't even there,
Speaker 1: and they come to these conclusions and it just gets,
Speaker 1: you know, worse and worse and worse. And then you
Speaker 1: have the the mob of bots. She forgot. You've got
Speaker 1: the Russian bots, the North Korean bots. It's it's a
Speaker 1: bot here, porn bo. You've got the algorithms, the blue
Speaker 1: you know, the blue check mark wokesters. Uh, It's it's
Speaker 1: just so I go on. There are things I think
Speaker 1: about sending guest on that I say, well, I check myself.
Speaker 1: I had to pause button. It's like you send them
Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, yeah, exactly know. And it's true, I will.
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's like that thing with Abraham Lincoln.
Speaker 1: I've used this on monologues before, but I learned this
Speaker 1: when I was a kid. Abraham Lincoln would when he
Speaker 1: wanted to tell someone, you know, the story about the
Speaker 1: unsent letter with Lincoln. Yeah, it was a great story.
Speaker 1: But if you haven't heard it, maybe you're you know,
Speaker 1: one of the few people that haven't. But he would
Speaker 1: compose what he called a hot letter, and he would
Speaker 1: put in all of the rage, all of the anger.
Speaker 1: He would destroy Abraham Lincoln, whoever he was upset with.
Speaker 1: He would then he would then put the letter aside, right,
Speaker 1: he put the letter aside into a drawer, and he
Speaker 1: until he calmed down, and then he would write, you know,
Speaker 1: never sent, never signed. And that's how he would do it.
Speaker 1: And that's kind of what I do. Like I I
Speaker 1: see some stuff like I support the police. I think,
Speaker 1: you know, it's ridiculous what's going on the war on
Speaker 1: police here. It's obsceneing what some of these uh, these
Speaker 1: wokesters are doing and it just seems so stupid me.
Speaker 1: But I I don't, you know, I don't really do
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff on Twitter. I'll just send it
Speaker 1: to you my thoughts on the stupidity of the world.
Speaker 1: So but I I will, I will reflect back to
Speaker 1: twenty nineteen and eighteen because there was some good fodder.
Speaker 1: You would take shots at either Deshaun Watson or Kyler Murray.
Speaker 1: You could get the local beat reporters with yes, yes,
Speaker 1: that was really good and that was always fun. But
Speaker 1: we had several of those. And now I don't think
Speaker 1: you can even do that because you immediately questioned someone
Speaker 1: if they happened, you know, to be black, They'll say, oh,
Speaker 1: you're racist. You know, you can't. You can't do that.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's allowed anymore. But yeah, we we
Speaker 1: got it. But the funny thing we we had with
Speaker 1: Geno Smith was one of the first ones when he
Speaker 1: was at West Virginia before he was drafted by the Jets.
Speaker 1: But this was anyways at West Virginia. He got all
Speaker 1: upset with me, so I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be a good player in the NFL. Well, he's
Speaker 1: a backup. I guess that's okay. He's made money, he's
Speaker 1: in the pension. We had the Deshaun Watson thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and and the cool thing, the same cadence, the same
Speaker 1: rat tat tad happens where you get into this beef
Speaker 1: with some athlete and then the local night in Shining Armor,
Speaker 1: the local hack columnist runs to defend, and all the
Speaker 1: fan boys, all the fan boys like cockroaches, come out
Speaker 1: running around seeing the light of day, trying to figure
Speaker 1: out and how to attack. So good, and but I
Speaker 1: will have to acknowledge for those that haven't watched it
Speaker 1: yet and and might watch it on on a replay
Speaker 1: on YouTube. Successfully in week one and marginal in week two,
Speaker 1: you are officially two and oh backing Kyler Murray and
Speaker 1: the Arizona Cardinals. So I appreciate that. I applod that.
Speaker 1: And um yeah, it's one guy you'll not be able
Speaker 1: to defecate on here in even though you would love
Speaker 1: to do so. Well Again, listen, I think Kyler has
Speaker 1: been so affective. I really think this m VP conversation
Speaker 1: is warranted because many times the twenty fifth rant quarterback
Speaker 1: and football has won the m v P. H certainly
Speaker 1: has happened. Um my god, he's done so well here
Speaker 1: with the the numbers he's put up. What's not to
Speaker 1: like about little Kyler? Come on twenty five rank, there's
Speaker 1: only like twenty oh, there's thirty two quarterbacks. I don't know,
Speaker 1: there might be sixty four by the time by the
Speaker 1: time they get done. Yeah, I mean everyone dropping like
Speaker 1: flies in the National football You never can't tell. But
Speaker 1: they should make Kyler Murray a scat back. He's what
Speaker 1: they should make him about that? What do you a
Speaker 1: good scat back? Because he's a better runner than he
Speaker 1: has a throw. You agree with me on that, right?
Speaker 1: You're absolutely no? I mean, you am I wrong. I
Speaker 1: mean he's well, I don't think I am Kyler Murray.
Speaker 1: How about yards per pass attempt? He's twenty five in
Speaker 1: that also, I think he's averaging. He's averaging the same
Speaker 1: number of yards per pass attempt as Baker Mayfield and
Speaker 1: Ryan Fitzpatrick is and Mr Rabiscy you're averaging more. So
Speaker 1: I'm sure that Kyler Murray should be the MVP based
Speaker 1: on his throwing ability. I would push him ahead of
Speaker 1: that conversation over Drew Brees because you like him and
Speaker 1: you like little people and you feel guilty or whatever
Speaker 1: because you you were mean to to make jets back
Speaker 1: in there. But I don't know what's going to have
Speaker 1: pressed shirt people or something. I don't know. I have
Speaker 1: no idea what your Michigas is over there. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just don't. You like the umpa loompa. You like
Speaker 1: his alligator arms and all that. You find them sexy.
Speaker 1: Good for you. You You were a fan of Mighty Mouse.
Speaker 1: He was your favorite superhero when you were a kid.
Speaker 1: I applied dual sport athletes. I applied guys that are winners,
Speaker 1: and I applied guys that actually perform and meet the expectation. Yes,
Speaker 1: he is meeting expectations. He is twenty five in the
Speaker 1: NFL as a quarterback, so he's meeting expectations. I thought
Speaker 1: he would be average. He's been average. He's been as
Speaker 1: a quarterback throwing the ball. He's been at that's fine.
Speaker 1: He's knee high to a grasshopper and he's been at.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, I want to keep going. Yeah, you can't
Speaker 1: wait until week number three comes around and then we'll
Speaker 1: talk about that next week. But until then, Yes, what's
Speaker 1: what's on the menu today? On today's podcast? We have
Speaker 1: under Attack, a call to Arms, Civic Duty, and pop quiz.
Speaker 1: So that's what we have today on the podcast. You
Speaker 1: want to start with under a tack. Let's start with
Speaker 1: on Earth again. It's the babylon Be is no more.
Speaker 1: I have to retire that. That's just yeah, Gagon is
Speaker 1: very upset because the babylon Bee has become mainstream. Well,
Speaker 1: it's not just that they have listeners and followers of
Speaker 1: yours that will that will tag us in articles of
Speaker 1: babylon Be and is its novelty? Well, they have some
Speaker 1: great stuff. And they had the other day, they had
Speaker 1: state with no electricity orders everyone to drive cars that
Speaker 1: run on electricity. It's it's it's unbelievable. The stupidity of
Speaker 1: Gavin Newso and the governor of California who stands in
Speaker 1: front of fires and talks about global warming when most
Speaker 1: of these fires have been started by arson or electrical
Speaker 1: equipment that malfunctioned and he's convinced that it's all because
Speaker 1: of global warming. Well, it's just fascinating. And in states
Speaker 1: that have more forests than like Texas, Texas, right, apparently
Speaker 1: global warming stops at the Texas border. It's uh, it's
Speaker 1: just fascinating. The idiocy of Gavin Newsom, It's uh, it's one.
Speaker 1: But the babilon Be also either, study finds most Americans
Speaker 1: trust Dr Pepper over Dr Fautrey. It took me, It
Speaker 1: took me three months, but you have finally come over
Speaker 1: to the to the yellow and blund It's funny and
Speaker 1: uh and they they see I like the satire. You
Speaker 1: don't think I'm normally not a satire, but I love
Speaker 1: Sports Talk Berry. We've had him on, we should have
Speaker 1: him on again. Sports Talk Berry does a lot of
Speaker 1: satire sports wise Babylon b and every once in a
Speaker 1: while they put a sports story out there and they
Speaker 1: My favorite part is when the the people that are
Speaker 1: supposed to be the smartest in society, the academia crowd,
Speaker 1: and they start sending out babilon be stories as as
Speaker 1: it being true. Well, here's the thing. I do you
Speaker 1: see the one with the the Ruth Bader ginzer Ginsburg
Speaker 1: story with the what was it the NBA players? Yes,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that was unbelievable. There were people retweeting
Speaker 1: that as all this is great, as why I love
Speaker 1: respect Lebron. Oh my god. Well the best part about
Speaker 1: this is it's actually bled over to LinkedIn, which is
Speaker 1: a professional based website for people to network and market,
Speaker 1: and people are actually posting those articles now on LinkedIn
Speaker 1: as gospel like as the truth done that it's great.
Speaker 1: Oh well, nobody has critical thinking. No one looks and actually,
Speaker 1: what is it? Is this real fake? No, it's all
Speaker 1: it's all there. Its must be real, looks real, It's
Speaker 1: It's hilarious. I love the onion is great. It's always
Speaker 1: been a favorite of mine. And uh, you have to
Speaker 1: be going way too. So the Babylon b they're in
Speaker 1: l A. Aren't they the headquarters in l A? I
Speaker 1: think there might be moving to Nashville along with like
Speaker 1: everyone else. When are we moving to Nashville? You gotta,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you, gotta be in Florida. Man. That's that's
Speaker 1: where you and the missus are going after. I'm down. Man,
Speaker 1: I I grew up in California. All my friends we
Speaker 1: used to be in California. I get friends else. Right now,
Speaker 1: I'm ready to leave. I don't like it. I don't
Speaker 1: like the taxes, I don't like the politics. I don't
Speaker 1: like the bull crap that's gone on in I'd love
Speaker 1: to leave, but you know, I can't leave right now.
Speaker 1: Maybe in a few years I'll be only go somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Now you could do that, you get family that's split
Speaker 1: all over the country too. Yes, I got family in
Speaker 1: every time zone except the amount. Actually know, I have
Speaker 1: cousins in the Mountain time zone, so I have every
Speaker 1: time zone. Yeah, let's yeah. See, there you go, and
Speaker 1: don't forget. So when you when you leave California, you
Speaker 1: may you must make sure to check in your your
Speaker 1: gas powered vehicle at the border. Kind of rebate. Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness. All right, well let's get to this under Attack. Now,
Speaker 1: this was gonna be in the mail bag, but this
Speaker 1: is such an important message that I have decided to
Speaker 1: pump it up, bump it up, bump it up to
Speaker 1: our Saturday podcast and we call it under Attack. This
Speaker 1: is an email message that I got from Will in Illinois.
Speaker 1: Now Will, who's in Western Illinois I believe, or W
Speaker 1: I guess he wants to be known as W Will.
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know where. He's an Illinois body
Speaker 1: wants to be known as W W Illinois or whatever whatever.
Speaker 1: So he sent an email to the inbox, And anybody
Speaker 1: can send an emails Real fifth hour at gmail dot com,
Speaker 1: Real fifth Hour at gmail dot comes. You want something private,
Speaker 1: not out there on social media. So here's what the
Speaker 1: email started with and this is very important in a moment.
Speaker 1: The second part of this is for the brigadier generals,
Speaker 1: the brigadier generals of the Malley Militia that have taken
Speaker 1: the oath, that are defending the honor of the show.
Speaker 1: He says. First off, I am your biggest fan, unless
Speaker 1: I'm not. He says, I weighed five hundred and twenty
Speaker 1: one pounds that the doctor's office last week. Good for you,
Speaker 1: and I can provide documentation if necessary. Well, Will, I
Speaker 1: will need documentation, He says, I would like to be
Speaker 1: honored with the title, if at all possible, the biggest fan.
Speaker 1: So here's what I'm gonna do. Will. I don't know
Speaker 1: anyone who listens to the show regularly who weighs more
Speaker 1: than five one pounds, So until someone can prove to
Speaker 1: me that they are bigger than five pounds, Will in
Speaker 1: Illinois is the biggest fan in the Mallard Militia. Congratulations Will.
Speaker 1: That is a special title. Not everyone can have that title.
Speaker 1: You gotta eat a lot of food and mom, man,
Speaker 1: I I would estimate back at my biggest I was
Speaker 1: I was likely around five hundred pounds. Yes, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would think at least four fifty. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I got all up to five, but it was.
Speaker 1: I was in that ballpark at my fattest. And so
Speaker 1: you six ft five six six, yeah, six five six
Speaker 1: six to pay if I stand up straight, I've a
Speaker 1: bad posture. But yeah, fucking five bills, man. And now
Speaker 1: what do you you're like to sixty? Uh? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: in that, in that range, but I'm going down, going
Speaker 1: down more, guestcount. I don't want to get too far
Speaker 1: down there because I think I'll look really terrible because
Speaker 1: I lost a lot of weight before. I looked like
Speaker 1: skeletor was terrible. All right, Now, The key part of
Speaker 1: this email from Mom man Will the biggest fan of
Speaker 1: the Mallem Militia. He says. Secondly, I asked Bob Page
Speaker 1: a simple question about working with you, and I attached
Speaker 1: his bullshit response. I have not taken the oath in
Speaker 1: order to officially become a member of the Mallem Militia,
Speaker 1: but I still want to defend your honor. Will says.
Speaker 1: I am asking you, are fearless leader, whether I should
Speaker 1: let his response die on the vine, or should I
Speaker 1: unload with both barrels now Gascon. You might not know this,
Speaker 1: but I worked with Bob Paige in the early days
Speaker 1: of Fox Sports Radio. Bob was one of the original
Speaker 1: hosts at Fox Sports Radio. He had had a successful
Speaker 1: career at MSG in New York. He replaced how Would
Speaker 1: co Sell on his radio show, and he had also
Speaker 1: been a successful sportscaster in Detroit. So I went in
Speaker 1: and did the the show with with Bob he had
Speaker 1: He had done a show for a couple of months.
Speaker 1: The show was not good. They then brought him back
Speaker 1: and partnered me with Bob, and so we did the show.
Speaker 1: Now I lost track of Bob. We only worked together
Speaker 1: for a few months. Uh, and it didn't go that
Speaker 1: well and we went our separate ways. The show was
Speaker 1: not very good. And so here is the correspondence between Will,
Speaker 1: the biggest fan of the show, and my former colleague
Speaker 1: Bob Page from Fox Sports Radio. U Will wrote in
Speaker 1: on Twitter. He said, Mr Page, did you ever work
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller question mark simple? Bob Page on Twitter responds, Yes,
Speaker 1: I did exclamation Point at Fox Sports Radio in l A.
Speaker 1: They had hired me to be the afternoon drive time
Speaker 1: host on the network. Then he says the whole experience
Speaker 1: is a quote. The whole experience was a total nightmare
Speaker 1: from the two idiots running it on down. Mailer was
Speaker 1: part of that nightmare. Close quote, Well, listen, you play
Speaker 1: the game. I didn't start this night guest scout. I
Speaker 1: didn't start. I think we should release the hounds. Though
Speaker 1: I didn't start this, did I know? I didn't. I
Speaker 1: didn't mention Bob Paige's name in a negative light at all. No,
Speaker 1: he he mentioned mine and he misspelled my name. He said,
Speaker 1: m A I l e er like I'm a mailman
Speaker 1: or something like that. I'm going to the post office.
Speaker 1: So first of all, I was like, now, Will, I
Speaker 1: would like to thank you, Will, my biggest fan, for
Speaker 1: doing this. A good job by you. That's number one.
Speaker 1: Even though you have not officially taken the oath, you
Speaker 1: are honoring the tenants of the oath. And you don't
Speaker 1: have to take the oath on the air. It's it's
Speaker 1: cooler if you do. But when you take the oath,
Speaker 1: and you as a brigadier general, if you are, whether
Speaker 1: you're a sergeant or arms or a brigadier general, you
Speaker 1: have to obey the orders to peacefully fight back against
Speaker 1: hostile attacks from rival sports, gas backs and Bluehards and
Speaker 1: gascon This rises to the high the high crimes misdemeanors category.
Speaker 1: This is one of those attacks. This is a hostile attack. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which is fascinating because what I had mentioned earlier about
Speaker 1: you taking shots at other media personalities, this was a
Speaker 1: prelude to that. I would if I'm Will, I would
Speaker 1: not accuriesce. I would definitely return fire in kind of course. Well,
Speaker 1: of course you've gotta be nice. Now, I would like
Speaker 1: to Mallaw Militia to inform Bob what a nightmare is
Speaker 1: really like and just tell them what they think their
Speaker 1: nightmares are like in real life. You don't have to
Speaker 1: be mean, of course you should be You should not
Speaker 1: be mean. You should be very nice to Bob. Here
Speaker 1: is Bob Page's Twitter account where he attacked me the
Speaker 1: other day. All right, it's Bob Page Sports. Very simple,
Speaker 1: Bob p g E. Sports. So say hi to Bob,
Speaker 1: Say hey, the Malla Militia. We're listening, Bob. Let him know,
Speaker 1: wish him a good day. You know what to do. Okay,
Speaker 1: there you go, under attack, Guescot, mining my own business,
Speaker 1: minding my own business, and averagely attacked, blindsided, blind sided.
Speaker 1: Would you ever consider or have you ever considered, um
Speaker 1: opening up a show or an hour, doing a monologue
Speaker 1: and taking a blow towards to a media personality that
Speaker 1: is uh wrong? Yeah, oh yeah, yeah, I've done that
Speaker 1: in the past. Uh well, well things well listen. I
Speaker 1: don't know if we need to get into it here,
Speaker 1: but it's the perfect place. I've done it several times.
Speaker 1: About it now, I can't. I can't really get away
Speaker 1: with it when the sports are going on though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. But you know, the last time I did
Speaker 1: not it wasn't a well, it was kind of a
Speaker 1: media person I did entire hours dedicated to attacking William
Speaker 1: Shatner spats with shats, right, I mean, we went at it,
Speaker 1: and you know, he was That was hilarious. That was
Speaker 1: some of the most fun we've had on radio when
Speaker 1: when William Shatner, pop culture icon, was so flustered by
Speaker 1: the Mallard militia. He was trying to block everyone and
Speaker 1: he started accidentally following the overnight security guard at the
Speaker 1: gas station, the guy making the doughnuts, and sheboygan. It
Speaker 1: was hilarious. Oh my god, it was so funny. I'm
Speaker 1: getting these I'm getting these. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he tried
Speaker 1: to get me fired at ESPN. Yeah he sent ESPN
Speaker 1: ESPN responsible. He doesn't actually work at ESPN. Uh, I'm sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: William Yeah, or Bill, they call him Bill, right, Bill Shatner.
Speaker 1: All right, now, civic duty guests got So. I was
Speaker 1: wandering around my neighborhood. The air has improved here, the smoke,
Speaker 1: the smoke is not as as much around as it
Speaker 1: had been. So I was wandering around the neighborhood. And
Speaker 1: while I was walking, minding my own business. Now when
Speaker 1: I walk, I have a whole get up. I got
Speaker 1: a whole get up. I got a big hat protecting
Speaker 1: my head from the sun. I got a scarf. So
Speaker 1: people think I have a mask when I don't usually
Speaker 1: put the mask over come out walking. But I have it,
Speaker 1: well not not it's bandana bandana a bandan, but I
Speaker 1: don't you know, I have it on just so the
Speaker 1: wokesters don't get upset when I walked by. But I'm
Speaker 1: no one's around, no one's out walking. When I'm walking
Speaker 1: during the dead's hot around a hundred degrees. So I'm
Speaker 1: walking down the street. This is back on Wednesday, and
Speaker 1: this car pulls over and flagging me down. Right, this
Speaker 1: nice older couple starts flagging me down there in there
Speaker 1: like I would say, late seventies, early eighties man woman.
Speaker 1: The man says, hey, we're lost. Do you know where
Speaker 1: the Social Security office is? Now? Keep in mind, when
Speaker 1: I'm walking, gust gun, I got my earbuds in, I'm
Speaker 1: listening to whether I'm listening to music or a talk
Speaker 1: show or whatever, I'm listening, I don't want to be bothered.
Speaker 1: But this, this at least seemed like some really nice people.
Speaker 1: The old old people always, you know, look out for
Speaker 1: your elders, right, respect your elders. That's how I was raised, so,
Speaker 1: you know. And they they thought they were right near
Speaker 1: the Social Security office. So I informed them that I
Speaker 1: have no fucking clue where this thing is. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not on Social Security yet. Some day
Speaker 1: I probably will be, but I'm I don't know where.
Speaker 1: I wish I could help. So they start driving away,
Speaker 1: and then I had an epiphany and I then I
Speaker 1: flagged them down. Guests got so, now now we've both
Speaker 1: flagged each other down. They flagged me down. Now I
Speaker 1: flagged them down. So the guy comes back and and
Speaker 1: then so I engage again. I said, I have all
Speaker 1: the answer. I'm thinking my head. I had this epiphany.
Speaker 1: I had all the answers they needed on my phone.
Speaker 1: So so I clicked on the Ways traffic app on
Speaker 1: my phone and I typed in Social Security Office, you
Speaker 1: know near me. Boom boom boom, boom, boom boom. Right away,
Speaker 1: I had the directions of the palm of my hand.
Speaker 1: So I then informed the couple, as you go down
Speaker 1: a mile and a half, you turn right, you go
Speaker 1: up another mile and a half, two miles, you then
Speaker 1: turn right again, you go down a couple of blocks,
Speaker 1: and it's on. It's on this street, and you'll be home.
Speaker 1: Clean technology is a hell of a drug. That was
Speaker 1: my civic duty, guest on that was I was flattered
Speaker 1: actually to get flagged down. You know why I was
Speaker 1: happy to be flagged down? Self worth? No, Because when
Speaker 1: I was a big fatty back in the day, nobody
Speaker 1: would ask me anything because I was intimidating. And I'm
Speaker 1: less intimidating. And I think I believe in my head anyway,
Speaker 1: with my neurosis, that I'm more approachable now. So people
Speaker 1: are people are willing now to ask me because this
Speaker 1: this happens quite a bit. I've I've been asked three
Speaker 1: four times since I started walking this this year directions,
Speaker 1: which is always amazing to me because all of these
Speaker 1: apps on the phone. I understand an older couple, they're
Speaker 1: not going to have a smartphone and know what apps
Speaker 1: and all that stuff are. But I've had people that
Speaker 1: are younger that have no concept of these maps that
Speaker 1: tell you exactly where to go door to door service. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it does tell that you're losing weight. And I
Speaker 1: think this kind of goes by what the conversation nationally
Speaker 1: has been in the last week, week and a half
Speaker 1: is you know, people that uh, more attractive, more approachable,
Speaker 1: they have a conversation. So, now, how is this? Explain
Speaker 1: this I'm not that bright, guest guys, explain this to
Speaker 1: me like I'm a trial. It's been to me like
Speaker 1: I'm five years old. How is that a revelation? And
Speaker 1: how are people offended by that? Like? Why are people? Oh,
Speaker 1: that's not right? You can't say that? How dare you?
Speaker 1: It has always been that way in society. Taller people,
Speaker 1: good looking people, good looking women have more doors open
Speaker 1: to them than the ugly woman. Well, because that's always
Speaker 1: been the way it is well. And the reason for
Speaker 1: that is because you, for for the most part, you
Speaker 1: can't control the way you look. You can control the
Speaker 1: way you act and and and how you are perceived,
Speaker 1: but you can't control rolled you know, the way that
Speaker 1: you look, unless, of course, it is has to do
Speaker 1: with some physical alterations like losing weight, gaining weight, losing muscle,
Speaker 1: building us plastic. Yes, it's true, but like, why is
Speaker 1: that a bad thing? It's not a bad thing. That's
Speaker 1: well because it goes back to the content of an
Speaker 1: individual's character as opposed to everything else that's exterior. But
Speaker 1: humans are visual creatures, isn't that party and right when
Speaker 1: you when you meet someone, you are judging them right
Speaker 1: away based on their appearance before they even say a word,
Speaker 1: of course, and that's why we're so enamored with people
Speaker 1: that are eloquent when they speak, is because we get
Speaker 1: lost in their presentation as opposed to the substance of
Speaker 1: their words. But this goes back to not judging a
Speaker 1: book by its covers. So if you can't dig deep
Speaker 1: into an individual, then yeah, people get offenditive at that
Speaker 1: because and everyone should strive for that. But it's not reality.
Speaker 1: It's not reality based. You can be in denial about that.
Speaker 1: But but when you point this out logically and you
Speaker 1: take the time to actually say it, then people understand.
Speaker 1: But what you throw it out there in social media
Speaker 1: or on television, people are always like quick to react
Speaker 1: and get offended and jump to conclusions like your sexist,
Speaker 1: you're you're you know one thing or another. So you're
Speaker 1: shallow because you only uh talk and approach people that
Speaker 1: are attractive and and whatnot. So's every day is a
Speaker 1: fashion show in the world is your run way? I
Speaker 1: read that on a bumper stick at one You never
Speaker 1: fucking leave the house. I don't know how you can
Speaker 1: even say that, But I have a camera in here
Speaker 1: and I have to do these videos for the company. Yes,
Speaker 1: but you look more presentable now when we do Benny
Speaker 1: versus the penny of them. Never but you're perfect though.
Speaker 1: You love narcissism and vanity, so you you have both.
Speaker 1: You've got both things going for you. We're playing to
Speaker 1: the crowd. We're here in l a city of angels.
Speaker 1: I hate that. That's another reason to leave l A
Speaker 1: bull craft. That attitude. It's the it's the entertainment capital
Speaker 1: of the United States. That is that, right, I think.
Speaker 1: So it's certainly not New York right now, it's not
Speaker 1: Vegas right now. Yeah, definitely, that's good. So people could
Speaker 1: take shots at Bob Page and well, let's be polite.
Speaker 1: Just let Bob know I heard what he said. Just
Speaker 1: let Bob know that the malomlish is aware of what
Speaker 1: he said. And we have our own nightmares. And yeah, Bob, Bob,
Speaker 1: I remember Bob. He's an old school He didn't want
Speaker 1: to repeat anything he said at to be he thought
Speaker 1: the it was a buy and ay experience when you
Speaker 1: you listen from pillar to post, from soup to nuts,
Speaker 1: when you did a radio show. And yes, we would
Speaker 1: try to explain to Bob, but you know the listeners
Speaker 1: tune in. We're lucky if we get five minutes out
Speaker 1: of him. And he just he just did not believe that.
Speaker 1: He also did not like taking calls from cell phones,
Speaker 1: which imagine a little difficult. He loved the in line,
Speaker 1: he loved the land line. As I recall, so you
Speaker 1: have Bob Page online one and you have an elderly
Speaker 1: couple online too. Now do you think that the elderly
Speaker 1: couple had a Thomas Guide in their vehicle. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I finally remember when I was a kid and
Speaker 1: we were I'm very excited. I wanted my mom to
Speaker 1: the Triple A Building to get maps. We go on
Speaker 1: road trips to the Grand Canyon, or we go to
Speaker 1: Reno or somewhere, you know, some far away place in
Speaker 1: the West, and we get to go. I get to
Speaker 1: go with mom and I. The cool thing is I
Speaker 1: would ask for like maps of places. I was just
Speaker 1: curious about. Guys. I gotta get him map of Boston
Speaker 1: to New York so I could check it out. As
Speaker 1: a kid, you know, they the eyes of a child.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, I'm gonna put myself in that place.
Speaker 1: It was pretty cool. Yeah, yeah, and those are those
Speaker 1: are great resources to have, especially in today's world of
Speaker 1: a cell phone dies, your satellites down. If you have
Speaker 1: you know, verising, T mobile, a T and T whatever
Speaker 1: it is, those are those were useful to you, man,
Speaker 1: So I applaud you for at least you know it's
Speaker 1: true coming back to those people. That's what happens when
Speaker 1: you're an introverts. You you don't have the the direct engagement.
Speaker 1: You have to recall something after they drive a mile down.
Speaker 1: You have to waddle your way towards them. But you
Speaker 1: did that. When was the last time you used a map?
Speaker 1: Last time I used a map? Actually the last time
Speaker 1: I used the Maples and I was in Boston last year.
Speaker 1: I was jumping on the T and going from from
Speaker 1: downtown Boston to the outskirts. Does that count nah, quting
Speaker 1: from one to another? NA? Not really. Every time I've
Speaker 1: been to Boston though. That the big dig man. It's crazy.
Speaker 1: They've mastered how to hide traffic in Boston. I give
Speaker 1: him because like in l A, they have shots from
Speaker 1: the helicopter of the traffic, you know, and it's brutal
Speaker 1: and you see the cars, all the red lights on
Speaker 1: one side, all the white lights on the other. In
Speaker 1: Boston they just put everything underground so you can see.
Speaker 1: It doesn't look like it's a lot of traffic. There is.
Speaker 1: There's tons of it. You can't see it because it's
Speaker 1: all under the under the ground, but it's there. The
Speaker 1: traffic is fully back down. In Los Angeles. It took me,
Speaker 1: I mean last week after we did our show, it
Speaker 1: took me an hour, hour and fifty minutes to drive
Speaker 1: back home. It is. It's straight grid luck now and
Speaker 1: we're not even close to December yet for Christmas season,
Speaker 1: so it'll be good. See people are out living their lives.
Speaker 1: But those people that own restaurants, God forbid. You can
Speaker 1: go to Target, you can go to Walmart, Costco, but
Speaker 1: don't go out and sit at a restaurant inside the restaurant.
Speaker 1: I think it was in the New York Post they
Speaker 1: said in August, the month of August, the majority of
Speaker 1: restaurants and I think some hotels in Manhattan did not
Speaker 1: pay their rent. Awful, awful, awful. Well, how how are
Speaker 1: you supposed to pay your rent if you don't have
Speaker 1: any money coming and you're not. It's not like your
Speaker 1: it's your choice. It's the the overlord's choice. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like it's crazy, Yeah, it is, But at least
Speaker 1: I mean, there's certain services will adore Dash and some
Speaker 1: of the other ones. I think it's like grub hub
Speaker 1: that could provide some kind of catering to individuals. We
Speaker 1: have that here in l A, but I don't know
Speaker 1: if you get it in Arizona. But in Arizona you're
Speaker 1: closer to Arizona than I am. I'm closer to Nevada.
Speaker 1: I feel like my new NFL team should be the
Speaker 1: Las Vegas Raiders because I'm so close to Vegas they
Speaker 1: can go. I'm actually closer to Vegas than I am Englewood. Seriously,
Speaker 1: in after if it was like three or four o'clock
Speaker 1: in the afternoon, afternoon drive or morning drive morning rush,
Speaker 1: I could get to Vegas quicker than I could get
Speaker 1: to Englewood. That's the Panda God, I'm not I'm not lying,
Speaker 1: guess gun, I'm not lying. It's depressing. So FI looks nice,
Speaker 1: and so is the Legion Stadium those I have not
Speaker 1: gone to any sporting events, even though I have access
Speaker 1: being a media elite, I could go to these games.
Speaker 1: But I have not gone this year to any of
Speaker 1: these games with no fans, and I don't think I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. I might like the fanning I'm a man
Speaker 1: of the people. I like the fan. But if you
Speaker 1: go to a sporting event, would you go on social
Speaker 1: media to call out the police and say you don't
Speaker 1: want an escort? Only? If I worked at ESPN, probably
Speaker 1: I would do that, But other than that, no, just yeah,
Speaker 1: well you get listen guess if you want to get
Speaker 1: woke points on social media you have to attack the police,
Speaker 1: that's what you have to do. Yes, it's in vogue
Speaker 1: right now. Speaking of fashion, it's InVogue. Does this stop
Speaker 1: on November four? Well, it's the way I look at this.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna go on forever. Remember was it a
Speaker 1: year ago? Everyone was It was the Me too movement
Speaker 1: was the big thing, and we gotta get all these
Speaker 1: these creepy guys out and defend the honor of our women.
Speaker 1: That's done. No one's talking about that anymore. Now they've
Speaker 1: moved on to the war on cops and everything's racist
Speaker 1: and that. How about Colin Caepernick? Do you see what
Speaker 1: he said the other day? Oh what happened? Now? You
Speaker 1: didn't see the kaprinick? What are you? What's wrong with you? Guesscan?
Speaker 1: How dare you? You're all over These type of stories
Speaker 1: may be refreshed my memory. I'm about to send it
Speaker 1: to you. No, I don't think you sent this so
Speaker 1: you were driving I think from from parts unknown? Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: Kaepernick said, the white supremacist institution of policing that stole
Speaker 1: Brianna Taylor's life from us must be abolished for the
Speaker 1: safety and well being of our people. Then he had
Speaker 1: hashtag abolished the police just as well on there. I
Speaker 1: can't believe no one's hired him in the NFL. It
Speaker 1: seems odd. I wouldn't I wouldn't want to play the
Speaker 1: NFL to him anyway, you get a nice fat check
Speaker 1: from Nike and you're not taking the physical abuse. I
Speaker 1: gotta tell you, I think Kaepernick's very, very wise here.
Speaker 1: The abolishing of the police. That would help everyone, right,
Speaker 1: Certainly criminals would benefit from that. Yes, I don't know
Speaker 1: if it would help. But listen, Milano, she needed the
Speaker 1: police over the weekend there was a teenager that was
Speaker 1: shooting his BB guy. I know, yes, Mr Mrs, I
Speaker 1: get rid of the cops. So listen, Milana, oops a daisy,
Speaker 1: she should have called you know what she should have done,
Speaker 1: guestcon is called a counselor right a? Uh? What do
Speaker 1: they want to replace with the police with? What is it?
Speaker 1: The counselor crisis counsel? Yes, that would have worked out well.
Speaker 1: But now that i've I think we should get rid
Speaker 1: of doctors. You know, the one of the top three
Speaker 1: causes of death in America is medical malpractice error. Yeah,
Speaker 1: medical error, So we should get rid of doctors. Doctors
Speaker 1: are killing people. Say their names, say their names, Abolish
Speaker 1: the doctors. But I have, now that I've been entwined
Speaker 1: with a lot of this, the crisis counselors that are
Speaker 1: are dealing with with issues now, it's it's reached some
Speaker 1: astronomical figures with domestic violence, drug usage, human trafficking, suicides,
Speaker 1: disasters you know for fires, earthquakes, tornadoes. I mean, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of strain on these people. It is a
Speaker 1: I mean, I've never dealt with it in my lifetime.
Speaker 1: You're you're a few years older. But like I hear
Speaker 1: stories from people that have lived through the sick teas
Speaker 1: and seventies, but those are over a course of several years.
Speaker 1: This is in one year. Like that's a lot of
Speaker 1: strips put on a nation. Is it's pretty well? Well,
Speaker 1: Lee Klein, who we've had on the podcast Leon again
Speaker 1: sometime and Lee lived through the sixties and was all
Speaker 1: part of that and all that and as vivid memories
Speaker 1: of he just went to school in Jacksonville and being
Speaker 1: in the South and all that, and even he is
Speaker 1: like blown away what's been going on these days? And
Speaker 1: we'll text each other every once in a while. I'll
Speaker 1: be like, oh my goodness, the Prince of Darkness leak
Speaker 1: Even when the Prince of Darkness Leaklein is like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I can't believe what's going on right now?
Speaker 1: You got something. We need to have him back on
Speaker 1: just for the fact that he can let it rip
Speaker 1: some more. He has great stories about being on. He
Speaker 1: had the FBI call his talk. Yes, because if somebod
Speaker 1: you said on the radio, the FBI contacted him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's pretty good. Yeah, it's a it's a polarizing time.
Speaker 1: It's unfortunate in it, and uh, but hey, at least
Speaker 1: we got sports, right, We got yes, yes, with no
Speaker 1: politics in our sports, which is good. It's good. But uh,
Speaker 1: do people get political on your show more or less
Speaker 1: nowadays with actual live events or is it pretty much
Speaker 1: the same? You know? I try to stick to the
Speaker 1: sports as much as I can. I try because that's
Speaker 1: what I'm in it for. You know. I don't turn
Speaker 1: the games on anymore. Before the games. I turn them
Speaker 1: off when they end. When they do all the virtue
Speaker 1: signaling and all that stuff, I just I'm done, I'm out.
Speaker 1: I'm not there for that. So I just tuned it out.
Speaker 1: So I tried as much as I can to talk
Speaker 1: about sports now, I think the show would be better
Speaker 1: if I did these third rail stories. I've tried to
Speaker 1: avoid them. I every once in a while I'll get
Speaker 1: suckered into one, and well, it's so juicy, I can't
Speaker 1: pass it up. But then I get ripped out. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, whatever you do, you you can't satisfy the people.
Speaker 1: Because the other day there were a couple of really
Speaker 1: third rail stories that were out there, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't really feel like doing that, and so I
Speaker 1: I found some football stories. I did a monologue about
Speaker 1: Adam Gaze and the Jets. People were busting my ball
Speaker 1: st and I should have been talking about the other stuff.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wow, I thought I was a decent football monologue.
Speaker 1: I'd give it like a c it's a passing Brad.
Speaker 1: Jets are a pretty good story for how bad they are,
Speaker 1: and they're not gonna get good anytimes. Yeah. I've always
Speaker 1: been attracted like a moth to a flame, the the
Speaker 1: wonderful world of terrible teams in any sport, in any sport.
Speaker 1: But that's all Like this, this thing is is great
Speaker 1: when these athletes, like we need informed voters, which is
Speaker 1: really vote for who? I tell you, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just outstanding. Well, I think this goes back to a
Speaker 1: conversation we had a few weeks ago about it doesn't
Speaker 1: just mean at the national level, it means at the
Speaker 1: local level. Well, that's where a lot of the stuff
Speaker 1: day to day. Actually, you're right, people are dumb. They
Speaker 1: think it's only about you vote Trump out. These people
Speaker 1: are like, oh, that world's gonna be better. Yeah, spoiler alert.
Speaker 1: You know, it's your local politicians, it's your local lawmakers.
Speaker 1: Get the local politicians, and then you get the bureaucrats
Speaker 1: that they bring in. It makes it even worse. So
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter what city, state. Well, it's like that
Speaker 1: old catchphrase, you know, the political catchphraise all politics are local.
Speaker 1: It's commonly used. Right, But it's wasn't that Tip O'Neil
Speaker 1: who came up with that back in the day. I
Speaker 1: think I don't know it was either way, it's it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter who came up with it. But yeah, it's
Speaker 1: it's true. It's it's true. It's uh, people are worried
Speaker 1: about national politics, people talking about national politics, but day
Speaker 1: to day life will be more impacted about your local
Speaker 1: by your local city council and all the bullcrap rules
Speaker 1: that they put into affect your life, that kind of stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's unfortunately. We gotta let you go very long. Wait,
Speaker 1: we have to get the pop quiz. You wanna do
Speaker 1: some pop quiz here, Let's do some pop quiz. Rapid fire,
Speaker 1: rapid fire, gascon. Do you understand what rapid fire means
Speaker 1: in l A? Yeah? Us, wow, look at that? All right,
Speaker 1: So we'll do the rhythmic click any clock that kind
Speaker 1: of a right? Fair enough? All right? These are actual
Speaker 1: quiz questions picked up around the internet. A new report
Speaker 1: says people who have one of these in their home
Speaker 1: typically use it about eight times each month. That's it?
Speaker 1: What is it in the home? Um? A coffeemaker landline? Oh?
Speaker 1: Eight times a month? That's it? Eight times a month.
Speaker 1: Is that a lot? I think that's twice a week.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's low. I think it's high. My
Speaker 1: my dad has a landline, and that's like the backup
Speaker 1: emergency phone if he doesn't answer his cell phone. I
Speaker 1: call that in the house somewhere. Probably. President Lincoln politely
Speaker 1: rejected this gift of an animal. What kind of animal,
Speaker 1: even though the King of Siam. I think that I said,
Speaker 1: I said it would benefit American economically. What animal gift
Speaker 1: did the president President Lincoln say? I do not want.
Speaker 1: I rejected close the elephant. Which is where the idiom
Speaker 1: the white elephant gift comes from. It's from President Lincoln,
Speaker 1: from him because an elephant, the cost of an elephant
Speaker 1: outweighs the benefit of the elephant, right, feeding the elephant
Speaker 1: and all that stuff. All right, people who fly will
Speaker 1: not do this. What is it? I'm the same way
Speaker 1: I'm in. Um, I'm gonna say, pray before they take off. No,
Speaker 1: it's more than uh will pray? I mean, it's not.
Speaker 1: The answer is choose a middle seat. Who in their
Speaker 1: right mind would choose a middle seat. I only on
Speaker 1: international flights have chosen middle seats. That's because if they're
Speaker 1: not occupied, then you can just lay out flat. That's
Speaker 1: the only reason I've done it. I've never gone international,
Speaker 1: so I've had to sit in the middle seat because
Speaker 1: it was the only one left and I needed to
Speaker 1: catch the flight. Never have I chosen to sit there.
Speaker 1: If you want to attract this particular kind of outdoor creature,
Speaker 1: you should wear your smear yourself with garlic. What creature
Speaker 1: a mosquito? No, even better than mosquito. Leeches. Leeches are
Speaker 1: attracted to garlic. Point when I die, I guess gun,
Speaker 1: the leeches are gonna have. This is gonna be the
Speaker 1: biggest buffet they could possibly have, gonna have a dream
Speaker 1: come true. Come eat me, leeches. Oh my god? Can
Speaker 1: you believe this is the greatest of your Jewish How
Speaker 1: are you? Are you getting cremated? What are you doing?
Speaker 1: Are you going? No? No, the Jews we believe in
Speaker 1: being buried. Yeah, buried unner six ft under. Well, my
Speaker 1: my career has been buried at sea with you. But
Speaker 1: I will be buried in some cemetery somewhere so no
Speaker 1: one can come and well not right now. As I
Speaker 1: said the other day, you can't even go to cemeteries
Speaker 1: in California because King Newsom I think he's global warming.
Speaker 1: He has to lock them up there so you can
Speaker 1: warn we can protest your death. How about that? There
Speaker 1: you go? Uh? Six percent of people say they have
Speaker 1: tried this on a hamburger. Six Yeah. Something associated with pizza? Um,
Speaker 1: a pizza sauce, pepperoni? Okay, pep baroni. You ever had
Speaker 1: a pepperoni. No, I've never had the thought. Have you
Speaker 1: ever put egg on hamburger? I have not. I have not,
Speaker 1: you know, never, I've seen people eat it. And I
Speaker 1: just used to go to this place in Pasadena called Slaters, Yes,
Speaker 1: Slaters was it later? Yeah, I think there's a few
Speaker 1: of them, and I liked it a little pricey. They
Speaker 1: had some weird burgers with all kinds of weird crap
Speaker 1: on it. They also had this vampire dip with like
Speaker 1: garlic dip thing that was really good. Are those the
Speaker 1: places where you can actually customize your own burger? Because
Speaker 1: I know the yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly. It's
Speaker 1: the same concepts, same concept make your own alright. Nearly
Speaker 1: twenty of men say they can't get serious with a partner.
Speaker 1: If she doesn't do this, your mind is wandering guests
Speaker 1: count yes, Um, if she doesn't cut off her male friends,
Speaker 1: Um no read. Oh, So that means there's almost of
Speaker 1: men are nerds and they need the woman who read.
Speaker 1: My wife reads a lot, but she didn't read. It
Speaker 1: really wouldn't matter, would she ever put in care? I've
Speaker 1: never put that the thought. Does that go on along
Speaker 1: the lines of being educated or is that something. Uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess there would be. The perception is if you
Speaker 1: read a lot, you're education. That's the perception. Perception is reality.
Speaker 1: Nine of people say this is the oldest thing in
Speaker 1: their home. What is it? A clock? Nope? A wedding dress? Yeah? Um.
Speaker 1: Americans claim that their best way of dealing with stress
Speaker 1: is too blank. Americans, it's either shooting guns or shooting
Speaker 1: guns are having sex? Uh, listen to music shooting guns
Speaker 1: and having sex. That'll calm you down. You don't you
Speaker 1: have to get worked up to have sex or you know,
Speaker 1: shoot a gun. Of women wished they looked more graceful
Speaker 1: while doing this sex. Know what's your mind's on? Desk?
Speaker 1: Opening a bottle of wine. Everybody looks awkward opening up
Speaker 1: a bottle of wine, though, especially if the bottle is
Speaker 1: older and the cork is fucked up. No, no, we've
Speaker 1: all been to that, like old Italian restaurant with the
Speaker 1: old guy that comes out just smooth, right, just smooth.
Speaker 1: He's done it every day of his life in the
Speaker 1: last thirty years, and he knows exactly how to put
Speaker 1: the thing in the cork and pull it out the
Speaker 1: perfect All right, Well, what about when they uncorked champagne bottles,
Speaker 1: though that's a little bit more awkward. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: I win a championship and I popped the champagne. I
Speaker 1: know how to do it. Kis. I've been sprayed with champagne.
Speaker 1: I have a Dodger Stadium. Yeah, Dodger Stadium. Uh, we're
Speaker 1: about Miami. When the Marlins won the World Series back
Speaker 1: in the nineties, I got sprayed and it was in
Speaker 1: the Marlins locker room when they won the World Series.
Speaker 1: That was kind of cool. Remember the late great Darren
Speaker 1: Dalton crying, covered in beer and covered in champagne, crying,
Speaker 1: cuddling with the World Series trophy. He was on the
Speaker 1: Marlins that he had been a Phillies legend, Dutch Dalton,
Speaker 1: they called him back. Wasn't Levon Hernandez a starter for them? Yes, Yes,
Speaker 1: Lavan Hernandez was on that team. Kevin Brown, Gary Sheffield.
Speaker 1: They had Bob, Charles Johnsons, Yeah, Charles Johnson, Craig council
Speaker 1: edgar rent A Rhea. As you mentioned the nineties nineties
Speaker 1: seven Marlon they beat Cleveland that year. Right Game seven,
Speaker 1: World Series one extra innings was standing outside the Indians
Speaker 1: locker room in the ninth inning, they had the plastic
Speaker 1: up to celebrate the Indians winning the World Series, and
Speaker 1: then the game ended up being tied, so they these
Speaker 1: guys had run and rip all the plastic down, and
Speaker 1: then they had to wait for who you know, because
Speaker 1: they didn't have enough plastic for both locker rooms, so
Speaker 1: they had to wait, all right. In a new survey,
Speaker 1: people were asked what makes a house a home? Of
Speaker 1: people said this, um, a bed, a master bed. No.
Speaker 1: I thought they got rid of the term master bedroom
Speaker 1: because it's racist government. I know. It's bookshelves with your
Speaker 1: favorite books. Do you have a bookshelf? Uh? Do we
Speaker 1: have a bess good question. I don't know. My my
Speaker 1: wife wants to buy a big book. What's above the
Speaker 1: what's above the couch? Uh, there's no bookshelf above the couch.
Speaker 1: There's windows, and there's the other couch. There's like a photo,
Speaker 1: beautiful photo of me wife. Yeah, all right. You can
Speaker 1: lose weight while you sleep if you do this, We've
Speaker 1: had this before. You should know this. If you do
Speaker 1: this while sleeping, you will lose weight. Um. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't recall if you if you sleep naked? Uh? No,
Speaker 1: if the bedroom is cold, You're going to burn calies
Speaker 1: as your body tries to stay warm, and you will
Speaker 1: lose weight. That's good, so for our biggest fan in
Speaker 1: Illinois who led us to this Bob Page story. If
Speaker 1: you sleep while you're cold, you'll well, you don't want
Speaker 1: to lose weight, because at five one, you lose a
Speaker 1: few pounds, you'll no longer be the biggest fan in
Speaker 1: the mallar militia. Oh man, alright, couple more, Surprisingly, only
Speaker 1: eleven percent of Americans have experienced this. What is it?
Speaker 1: Deja vou? Nope, getting a speeding ticket. I'm in that.
Speaker 1: I've I've gotten a speeding ticket. Yeah, I've it's been
Speaker 1: a while since I've got on. I think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: get out of it because you've got connections. Guest, last
Speaker 1: time I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket,
Speaker 1: the hp UH wrote the ticket, then realized who I'm
Speaker 1: related to, shook my hand. He says, you know what,
Speaker 1: if you contest this ticket and the officer doesn't show
Speaker 1: up to court, then it gets thrown out. The fucking
Speaker 1: officer showed up when I man, and what a dick.
Speaker 1: That sucks. Yeah, that's pretty bad. So not only did
Speaker 1: have to pay the fine, but then I could not
Speaker 1: qualify for traffic school. So at a point against the record,
Speaker 1: that's kind of weak. Yeah, alright, of adult men say
Speaker 1: they have priced this in the past twelve months, engagement
Speaker 1: ring No what, Yeah, you're on that list. You're a fatty.
Speaker 1: He's probably done a letter. He thought about the LiPo suction.
Speaker 1: You've clicked on Google see what's on there? No? No, never, no,
Speaker 1: what the fuck? Alright? Last one? On average, one of
Speaker 1: these is touched twenty five times before someone buys it.
Speaker 1: This is good because we had the gas pump. Member
Speaker 1: last week, we had the gas pump. How many times
Speaker 1: that's touched? And that was a ton? Yeah? Man, do
Speaker 1: do do? Do do? I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: a cell phone? Uh no, A greeting card. You know
Speaker 1: when you go to the story you want to buy
Speaker 1: a card for an anniversary or something like that, and
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't know which card. On average, twenty
Speaker 1: five times that card has been touched before someone actually
Speaker 1: scoops it up and buys it. I can see that
Speaker 1: only for the envelope. Like when I go in to
Speaker 1: buy something, I buy it or I just pick it
Speaker 1: right away. But I have to search for an envelope
Speaker 1: because it never fits the one behind it. Oh, I'll
Speaker 1: take any envelope, I don't care. I'll take a big
Speaker 1: envelope and make it. You know, a small card, big envelope.
Speaker 1: You can't do the opposite. You can't do a big card,
Speaker 1: small car envelope anyway, all right, that'll put the will
Speaker 1: put the baby to bed. Remember Benny Versus the Penny
Speaker 1: on YouTube. You can watch the rebroadcast of that. Obviously,
Speaker 1: it's it's available on demand whatever you want to watch it.
Speaker 1: NFL picks against the spread every single game, handicapped marginal
Speaker 1: handicapping advice on the NFL. So we hope you will
Speaker 1: enjoy that, and click that like button on the YouTube video,
Speaker 1: and also click the like button on this that that
Speaker 1: stuff helps us out. It seems ridiculous that it would matter,
Speaker 1: but it does. So I have a great day. We'll
Speaker 1: catch you next time. Be sure to catch live editions
Speaker 1: of The Ben Maller Show week days at two am
Speaker 1: Eastern eleven p m. Pacific