WEBVTT - Cheap Shots 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.360 Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller 0:00:02.400 --> 0:00:07.120 Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven p m Pacific Boom. 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:11.560 If you thought four hours a day, minutes a week 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:15.079 was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:18.759 the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:21.640 crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the rich 0:00:21.680 --> 0:00:25.720 pill poppers in the penthouse. The clearing House of Hot 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:29.479 takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:36.720 Ben Maller starts right now, nine in the air everywhere 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:41.479 the vast and ever expansive power of podcasting, the I 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:44.519 Heart Podcast Network Gmail, well wherever you get your podcast, 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:47.160 and we thank you for finding the podcast. We thank 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:50.800 you for that appreciated. This the Saturday edition of The 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:54.280 Fifth Hour, because eight days a week we do this show. 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:58.840 Now four hours not enough on the overnight. And if 0:00:58.880 --> 0:01:01.639 you haven't figured out by this a spinoff of the 0:01:01.720 --> 0:01:05.960 Ben Maller Radio Show. And I'm curious, is there anyone 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:08.480 that listens to this that does not listen to the 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:11.760 other show. I find that hard to believe, but maybe 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:13.880 that's the case. Maybe there's some people that only listen 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:15.960 to The Fifth hour podcast because we can say naughty 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:18.280 words and we can't say naughty words on the radio. 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:23.320 It's possible. Joined yet again, right over there, David Gascon 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:33.039 making his way into the studio. So yeah, pleasantly tim 0:01:33.240 --> 0:01:35.559 into the studio. It's always nice to do this when 0:01:35.760 --> 0:01:40.039 college football is going on. It's uh much better for me, 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.360 and uh, I know it's better for you. Would you 0:01:42.440 --> 0:01:45.040 be surprised if anyone does actually listen to podcast and 0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:49.680 doesn't listen to your show? Uh maybe your family like 0:01:49.800 --> 0:01:53.800 Other than that, that would be awkward, I would say, 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:57.440 because if you download the show podcast, I think you 0:01:57.520 --> 0:01:59.200 get this whether you want it or not. I think 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:01.360 it just feeds. It's on the same feat. I can 0:02:01.600 --> 0:02:05.120 change that though, if you like the death Spots who 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:09.640 run the podcast game that the dictatorship strong arm this 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:12.880 podcast into the Twitter the Twitter feed the podcast feed 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:15.960 to the other one. Yeah, I definitely help with that 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:19.000 since so I can certainly remove it and test drive 0:02:19.000 --> 0:02:20.800 that out and see how many people actually listen to 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:23.519 just the fifth hour as opposed to Yeah, well it 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.360 would be great to see and do a test and 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:29.960 then make people have to find the podcast, have to 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:33.560 spontaneously find the podcast I think it would be. I 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:35.720 think it'd be fascinating, at least for a short period 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.200 of time. I know the female listeners are more attracted 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:41.120 to this portion of your content as opposed to the 0:02:41.160 --> 0:02:44.160 overnight show, but that's well, why would not, guess? Why? 0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:46.799 Why would the reasons? When you're six ft one and 0:02:47.120 --> 0:02:49.160 under twenty pounds and kind of full head of hair 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:52.760 and a great beard and awesome shoulders, I think there's 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:55.640 a right old reason why you'd come here as opposed 0:02:55.680 --> 0:03:00.320 to the Monday through Friday theatrics of overnight drunk Radio 0:03:01.320 --> 0:03:07.119 La d Do lad Do. I don't know, Mr elitist 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.680 right over there, Mr name dropper, Mr pompous ass, I 0:03:10.680 --> 0:03:13.960 am David. Guess. Guys trying to get to the Pat 0:03:13.960 --> 0:03:16.760 O'Brien status, you know, West of the four Old. I 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:19.000 love peep be Man, that guy that was so much 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:23.560 fun that Pat O'Brien was. I don't want to say 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:25.360 he's my favorite because I don't want to offend Tony 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.000 Bruno and Hacksaw and all the other great people we've had, 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:30.400 Leo Terrell and all these other wonderful people. You could 0:03:30.400 --> 0:03:34.640 just say he's he is the welcoming Committee. He is 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:39.040 the ranchero. Pat O'Brien, right, he is the greeter at Walmart. 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:42.960 He shepherd's in everyone. What a what a fun guy. 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:44.960 I'm I'm gonna hang out with I was talking to 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.520 him after we did the podcast, and we're gonna go 0:03:47.560 --> 0:03:50.080 out to some restaurant and Beverly is See the problem here, 0:03:50.120 --> 0:03:53.280 here's my problem. I have the diet. I have the 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:57.080 palette of an eight year old. Pat has a more 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.160 advanced palate, So he is gonna want to go to 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:03.520 some high in Beverly Hills restaurant. I don't want to 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:07.560 do that. I haven't been to the restaurants, and I 0:04:07.560 --> 0:04:09.440 haven't been to Beverly Hills in a while. Obviously since 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:13.640 the apocalypse. Are are the restaurants having the wealthy elite 0:04:13.680 --> 0:04:17.880 people dining outside? Yeah? Oh yeah, they're doing all of it. 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:22.200 Mastros is there, Ocean Prime is there. I think Craigs 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:24.480 is there. In West Hollywood, there's a bunch of spots 0:04:24.480 --> 0:04:27.159 they're still open. They do the out so outside dining. 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:30.280 They do it like right where the parking meters are at. 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:33.240 For the diagonal spots. You've been doing a lot like 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:37.480 a nel Segundo Manhattan Beach Horrosa Rodondo. They're doing all 0:04:37.560 --> 0:04:40.240 up and down the coastline, so you needn't make your 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:44.159 way out, make your way out west. Those are my people. 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:48.400 I say audios to those people. I hang out with 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:51.000 the working class. I like the people who have grit, 0:04:51.440 --> 0:04:54.440 they have dirt under their fingernails. Those are my people. 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:57.760 Under your fingernails. Yes, I do. I gotta. I gotta 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.040 carry you. I carry you more noon and night on 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:04.120 these podcasts. I do. I got my lunch pail right here. 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:10.159 I've got my my spider Man lunch pail. You gotta understand, guesting, 0:05:10.240 --> 0:05:13.039 there's no there's no rest for the wicked. There is 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:15.640 no rest for the wicked. I heard that somewhere back 0:05:15.640 --> 0:05:18.080 in the back in the day. I learned when I 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.200 was a little kid from Mr Miyagi. Wax on wax off. 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:25.400 That's right, that was what he taught Daniel kid. I 0:05:25.440 --> 0:05:27.960 thought the most important thing with that conversation with Pat 0:05:28.080 --> 0:05:31.520 yesterday was the fact that he actually likes going into 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:36.080 the radio studio, which is an immediate for Ben. I 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:39.440 did well. The funny thing is, I I remember when 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.120 I got the phone call from I Heart Media and 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:45.080 our boss said, Hey, Ben, you know, we're getting having 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:48.520 everybody at work from from home. You know, you're gonna 0:05:48.520 --> 0:05:49.880 have a work from home. And I was like, well, 0:05:49.920 --> 0:05:51.360 you know, I really like going to the radio I 0:05:51.560 --> 0:05:53.240 told him, as I said, you know, Scott, I said, 0:05:53.320 --> 0:05:56.040 Scott said, I like going to the radio station. I 0:05:56.080 --> 0:05:59.599 hope this is only temporary. Uh. And now I have 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:03.120 become a big fan of working out of the home studio, 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:04.880 and now I don't want to go back, and so 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:07.160 so now it's it's a weird it's a weird thing. 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.240 I got used to it. See, this is I'm a 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:11.640 creature of habit. Most people are creatures of habit. I 0:06:11.720 --> 0:06:14.159 was very used to going into the radio station. I 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:17.640 had my routine. My routine got screwed up because of 0:06:17.680 --> 0:06:20.800 the apocapse. Everyone's life got turned upside down. But now 0:06:20.839 --> 0:06:23.240 this is my new normal, and I like my new normal. 0:06:23.400 --> 0:06:26.559 I have a good setup. It works for me. It's nice. 0:06:26.600 --> 0:06:30.440 I don't have to, you know, worry about caltrans closing 0:06:30.480 --> 0:06:32.839 the freeway or an accident or getting pulled over on 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:34.720 the way to work or anything like that. I'm good. 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.640 But this is, this is what you've gone to in 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:40.599 the past. You always talk about it's not the it's 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:43.560 not your final destination. It's the journey. Like every day 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:46.920 you drive into work, there's a journey. There's an accident, 0:06:47.000 --> 0:06:48.479 no no, but this is part of the journey. I 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.920 gotta literally walk from my bedroom down the hall and 0:06:51.960 --> 0:06:55.560 make a left turn into the studio. It's not that easy, guest, gut. 0:06:55.560 --> 0:06:58.320 I could trip over some laundry on the floor, and 0:06:58.360 --> 0:07:01.640 I could injure myself, right, I mean, maybe I'll walk 0:07:01.720 --> 0:07:04.840 into the wall by mistake or and it's all kinds 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:07.599 of calamities that could go wrong. If your show on 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:10.520 Sunday night just as a disaster in terms of power 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:12.280 and you have to drive into the studio. This is 0:07:12.320 --> 0:07:17.040 so dramatic. You're something actually an introvert, So it's nice 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:19.880 for you to like get outside a little bit, an extrovert. 0:07:20.360 --> 0:07:26.200 I get out of colleagues on the studio. That's fine. 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.240 I don't You don't want to make too much noise, guests, 0:07:28.480 --> 0:07:30.360 because I learned this from a hunter back in the day, 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:33.080 that the quacking duck gets shot. So you don't want 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:34.840 to be the one quacking. You know what I'm saying. 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:37.560 Oh boy, you're in sports talk radio. All you do 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:40.600 is quack for four hours money through Friday. That's true. 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:43.680 I blow a couple of blood vessels, have an aneurysm, 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.480 have a coron area and go home and call it 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:47.960 a day. Now, have you jumped in on the parade 0:07:48.200 --> 0:07:52.480 of of media personalities that have taken shots across the valve? 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:56.200 I mean, last week, week and a half, we've had 0:07:56.760 --> 0:08:01.720 personalities from Fox, ESPN and other platforms that have taken 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:06.640 some some shots to the forehead. Uh with people in 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:10.760 their approaches, their professionalism, What are you getting at? Stop 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:14.200 beating around the bush. Just say what you want to say. 0:08:14.240 --> 0:08:17.040 I am telling you there there's people that are doing this. 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:20.000 They're taking shots at everybody. So are you are you 0:08:20.040 --> 0:08:22.640 wanting to take those shots? Because Pat says he's not 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.360 active on on Twitter, No he's not. He hasn't sent 0:08:25.400 --> 0:08:28.840 a tweet out since yea and part of it because 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:32.160 things just get blown up. But yeah, I'm curiously well, 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:35.920 it's a weird ecosystem on Twitter, right, So I I 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.640 have really rolled it back. I'd i'd great advice from 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:41.719 a buddy of mine in radio, and I think I've 0:08:41.720 --> 0:08:44.400 said it here on the air, But we have more 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:53.040 latitude on radio. That is Casablanca compared to social media. 0:08:53.440 --> 0:08:59.720 Social media is this matrix like ecosystem. It's not real, 0:09:00.120 --> 0:09:04.200 but yet it can lead to real bad things happening. Yeah, 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:08.000 it's like a soul for ship. Yeah. And part of it, 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:10.880 my my theory on this is because it's the written word, 0:09:10.960 --> 0:09:13.439 the spoken word. Will I love the spoken word. We've 0:09:13.480 --> 0:09:15.680 done this, I've done this. My entire life made money 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:18.959 from the spoken word. The written word. It just stays there. 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:21.880 And people read a tweet, and they read it over 0:09:21.920 --> 0:09:25.000 and over again. They work themselves into a ladder, and 0:09:25.040 --> 0:09:27.240 then they add on to it things that aren't even there, 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:30.679 and they come to these conclusions and it just gets, 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.120 you know, worse and worse and worse. And then you 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:37.840 have the the mob of bots. She forgot. You've got 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:41.200 the Russian bots, the North Korean bots. It's it's a 0:09:41.280 --> 0:09:45.640 bot here, porn bo. You've got the algorithms, the blue 0:09:45.800 --> 0:09:50.320 you know, the blue check mark wokesters. Uh, It's it's 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:54.160 just so I go on. There are things I think 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:57.680 about sending guest on that I say, well, I check myself. 0:09:57.679 --> 0:10:01.240 I had to pause button. It's like you send them 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:03.680 to me. Yeah, yeah, exactly know. And it's true, I will. 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:06.959 You know, it's it's like that thing with Abraham Lincoln. 0:10:06.960 --> 0:10:08.720 I've used this on monologues before, but I learned this 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:12.240 when I was a kid. Abraham Lincoln would when he 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.080 wanted to tell someone, you know, the story about the 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:16.880 unsent letter with Lincoln. Yeah, it was a great story. 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:18.440 But if you haven't heard it, maybe you're you know, 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:20.480 one of the few people that haven't. But he would 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:23.120 compose what he called a hot letter, and he would 0:10:23.120 --> 0:10:26.440 put in all of the rage, all of the anger. 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:31.559 He would destroy Abraham Lincoln, whoever he was upset with. 0:10:32.160 --> 0:10:35.439 He would then he would then put the letter aside, right, 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:37.760 he put the letter aside into a drawer, and he 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:42.080 until he calmed down, and then he would write, you know, 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.480 never sent, never signed. And that's how he would do it. 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:48.560 And that's kind of what I do. Like I I 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:52.080 see some stuff like I support the police. I think, 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:54.040 you know, it's ridiculous what's going on the war on 0:10:54.120 --> 0:10:57.320 police here. It's obsceneing what some of these uh, these 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:00.120 wokesters are doing and it just seems so stupid me. 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.000 But I I don't, you know, I don't really do 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:03.599 a lot of stuff on Twitter. I'll just send it 0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:06.079 to you my thoughts on the stupidity of the world. 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:09.440 So but I I will, I will reflect back to 0:11:09.760 --> 0:11:13.360 twenty nineteen and eighteen because there was some good fodder. 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:18.640 You would take shots at either Deshaun Watson or Kyler Murray. 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:22.400 You could get the local beat reporters with yes, yes, 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:24.920 that was really good and that was always fun. But 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.839 we had several of those. And now I don't think 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.320 you can even do that because you immediately questioned someone 0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:32.240 if they happened, you know, to be black, They'll say, oh, 0:11:32.240 --> 0:11:34.160 you're racist. You know, you can't. You can't do that. 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:36.320 I don't think that's allowed anymore. But yeah, we we 0:11:36.400 --> 0:11:37.920 got it. But the funny thing we we had with 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:40.120 Geno Smith was one of the first ones when he 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:43.240 was at West Virginia before he was drafted by the Jets. 0:11:43.720 --> 0:11:45.560 But this was anyways at West Virginia. He got all 0:11:45.640 --> 0:11:47.480 upset with me, so I'm gonna prove you wrong. I'm 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:49.040 gonna be a good player in the NFL. Well, he's 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.080 a backup. I guess that's okay. He's made money, he's 0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:53.960 in the pension. We had the Deshaun Watson thing. Yeah, 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:56.440 and and the cool thing, the same cadence, the same 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:59.360 rat tat tad happens where you get into this beef 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:03.720 with some athlete and then the local night in Shining Armor, 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:07.720 the local hack columnist runs to defend, and all the 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:11.120 fan boys, all the fan boys like cockroaches, come out 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:14.240 running around seeing the light of day, trying to figure 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:19.480 out and how to attack. So good, and but I 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:21.800 will have to acknowledge for those that haven't watched it 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:24.199 yet and and might watch it on on a replay 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:29.360 on YouTube. Successfully in week one and marginal in week two, 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:33.880 you are officially two and oh backing Kyler Murray and 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:36.880 the Arizona Cardinals. So I appreciate that. I applod that. 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:40.360 And um yeah, it's one guy you'll not be able 0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.760 to defecate on here in even though you would love 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:48.079 to do so. Well Again, listen, I think Kyler has 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:52.319 been so affective. I really think this m VP conversation 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.840 is warranted because many times the twenty fifth rant quarterback 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.760 and football has won the m v P. H certainly 0:12:58.800 --> 0:13:01.880 has happened. Um my god, he's done so well here 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:04.960 with the the numbers he's put up. What's not to 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:08.960 like about little Kyler? Come on twenty five rank, there's 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:13.240 only like twenty oh, there's thirty two quarterbacks. I don't know, 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:17.720 there might be sixty four by the time by the 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:20.200 time they get done. Yeah, I mean everyone dropping like 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:23.000 flies in the National football You never can't tell. But 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.280 they should make Kyler Murray a scat back. He's what 0:13:25.280 --> 0:13:26.760 they should make him about that? What do you a 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:28.520 good scat back? Because he's a better runner than he 0:13:28.559 --> 0:13:30.240 has a throw. You agree with me on that, right? 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:33.040 You're absolutely no? I mean, you am I wrong. I 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:36.160 mean he's well, I don't think I am Kyler Murray. 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:38.480 How about yards per pass attempt? He's twenty five in 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:41.120 that also, I think he's averaging. He's averaging the same 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:44.080 number of yards per pass attempt as Baker Mayfield and 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:47.240 Ryan Fitzpatrick is and Mr Rabiscy you're averaging more. So 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:49.480 I'm sure that Kyler Murray should be the MVP based 0:13:49.480 --> 0:13:51.920 on his throwing ability. I would push him ahead of 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:54.640 that conversation over Drew Brees because you like him and 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.280 you like little people and you feel guilty or whatever 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.760 because you you were mean to to make jets back 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:01.200 in there. But I don't know what's going to have 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:04.160 pressed shirt people or something. I don't know. I have 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.880 no idea what your Michigas is over there. I don't know. 0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:09.800 I just don't. You like the umpa loompa. You like 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.920 his alligator arms and all that. You find them sexy. 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:15.120 Good for you. You You were a fan of Mighty Mouse. 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:16.760 He was your favorite superhero when you were a kid. 0:14:16.920 --> 0:14:20.520 I applied dual sport athletes. I applied guys that are winners, 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:24.720 and I applied guys that actually perform and meet the expectation. Yes, 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:27.520 he is meeting expectations. He is twenty five in the 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:30.120 NFL as a quarterback, so he's meeting expectations. I thought 0:14:30.120 --> 0:14:32.640 he would be average. He's been average. He's been as 0:14:32.680 --> 0:14:35.560 a quarterback throwing the ball. He's been at that's fine. 0:14:35.600 --> 0:14:38.880 He's knee high to a grasshopper and he's been at. 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:41.520 Oh boy, I want to keep going. Yeah, you can't 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:44.440 wait until week number three comes around and then we'll 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:47.520 talk about that next week. But until then, Yes, what's 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:50.760 what's on the menu today? On today's podcast? We have 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:57.120 under Attack, a call to Arms, Civic Duty, and pop quiz. 0:14:57.840 --> 0:14:59.440 So that's what we have today on the podcast. You 0:14:59.440 --> 0:15:00.840 want to start with under a tack. Let's start with 0:15:00.880 --> 0:15:03.280 on Earth again. It's the babylon Be is no more. 0:15:03.520 --> 0:15:06.800 I have to retire that. That's just yeah, Gagon is 0:15:06.880 --> 0:15:10.280 very upset because the babylon Bee has become mainstream. Well, 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:13.200 it's not just that they have listeners and followers of 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:16.680 yours that will that will tag us in articles of 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:20.440 babylon Be and is its novelty? Well, they have some 0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:23.280 great stuff. And they had the other day, they had 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:26.160 state with no electricity orders everyone to drive cars that 0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:32.720 run on electricity. It's it's it's unbelievable. The stupidity of 0:15:32.760 --> 0:15:36.960 Gavin Newso and the governor of California who stands in 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:40.320 front of fires and talks about global warming when most 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.120 of these fires have been started by arson or electrical 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:46.240 equipment that malfunctioned and he's convinced that it's all because 0:15:46.240 --> 0:15:49.520 of global warming. Well, it's just fascinating. And in states 0:15:49.560 --> 0:15:53.320 that have more forests than like Texas, Texas, right, apparently 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:57.480 global warming stops at the Texas border. It's uh, it's 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:03.680 just fascinating. The idiocy of Gavin Newsom, It's uh, it's one. 0:16:03.840 --> 0:16:06.680 But the babilon Be also either, study finds most Americans 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:14.640 trust Dr Pepper over Dr Fautrey. It took me, It 0:16:14.720 --> 0:16:17.400 took me three months, but you have finally come over 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.920 to the to the yellow and blund It's funny and 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.680 uh and they they see I like the satire. You 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:25.880 don't think I'm normally not a satire, but I love 0:16:25.920 --> 0:16:27.600 Sports Talk Berry. We've had him on, we should have 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.600 him on again. Sports Talk Berry does a lot of 0:16:29.680 --> 0:16:32.480 satire sports wise Babylon b and every once in a 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:34.320 while they put a sports story out there and they 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:37.520 My favorite part is when the the people that are 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:41.440 supposed to be the smartest in society, the academia crowd, 0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:44.960 and they start sending out babilon be stories as as 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:47.120 it being true. Well, here's the thing. I do you 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:50.680 see the one with the the Ruth Bader ginzer Ginsburg 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:54.480 story with the what was it the NBA players? Yes, 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:58.600 oh my god, that was unbelievable. There were people retweeting 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:00.440 that as all this is great, as why I love 0:17:00.560 --> 0:17:03.600 respect Lebron. Oh my god. Well the best part about 0:17:03.640 --> 0:17:06.119 this is it's actually bled over to LinkedIn, which is 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:09.320 a professional based website for people to network and market, 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:13.520 and people are actually posting those articles now on LinkedIn 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:20.760 as gospel like as the truth done that it's great. 0:17:21.359 --> 0:17:26.840 Oh well, nobody has critical thinking. No one looks and actually, 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:28.880 what is it? Is this real fake? No, it's all 0:17:28.920 --> 0:17:31.880 it's all there. Its must be real, looks real, It's 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:36.760 It's hilarious. I love the onion is great. It's always 0:17:36.760 --> 0:17:39.080 been a favorite of mine. And uh, you have to 0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:43.439 be going way too. So the Babylon b they're in 0:17:43.560 --> 0:17:45.080 l A. Aren't they the headquarters in l A? I 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:47.840 think there might be moving to Nashville along with like 0:17:47.920 --> 0:17:51.080 everyone else. When are we moving to Nashville? You gotta, 0:17:51.119 --> 0:17:53.480 I'm telling you, gotta be in Florida. Man. That's that's 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.320 where you and the missus are going after. I'm down. Man, 0:17:56.359 --> 0:18:00.240 I I grew up in California. All my friends we 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:02.240 used to be in California. I get friends else. Right now, 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:04.840 I'm ready to leave. I don't like it. I don't 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:07.880 like the taxes, I don't like the politics. I don't 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:10.600 like the bull crap that's gone on in I'd love 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:12.320 to leave, but you know, I can't leave right now. 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.640 Maybe in a few years I'll be only go somewhere else. 0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:16.320 Now you could do that, you get family that's split 0:18:16.359 --> 0:18:18.520 all over the country too. Yes, I got family in 0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:21.240 every time zone except the amount. Actually know, I have 0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.560 cousins in the Mountain time zone, so I have every 0:18:23.640 --> 0:18:25.919 time zone. Yeah, let's yeah. See, there you go, and 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:29.080 don't forget. So when you when you leave California, you 0:18:29.119 --> 0:18:31.560 may you must make sure to check in your your 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:37.160 gas powered vehicle at the border. Kind of rebate. Oh 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:41.119 my goodness. All right, well let's get to this under Attack. Now, 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:42.560 this was gonna be in the mail bag, but this 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:46.960 is such an important message that I have decided to 0:18:47.320 --> 0:18:49.639 pump it up, bump it up, bump it up to 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:53.040 our Saturday podcast and we call it under Attack. This 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:57.199 is an email message that I got from Will in Illinois. 0:18:57.200 --> 0:19:02.560 Now Will, who's in Western Illinois I believe, or W 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:04.240 I guess he wants to be known as W Will. 0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:05.920 I guess I don't know where. He's an Illinois body 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:08.639 wants to be known as W W Illinois or whatever whatever. 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:12.280 So he sent an email to the inbox, And anybody 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:15.040 can send an emails Real fifth hour at gmail dot com, 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:17.280 Real fifth Hour at gmail dot comes. You want something private, 0:19:17.359 --> 0:19:19.840 not out there on social media. So here's what the 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:23.639 email started with and this is very important in a moment. 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:25.640 The second part of this is for the brigadier generals, 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.120 the brigadier generals of the Malley Militia that have taken 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.400 the oath, that are defending the honor of the show. 0:19:30.600 --> 0:19:34.080 He says. First off, I am your biggest fan, unless 0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:37.719 I'm not. He says, I weighed five hundred and twenty 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.640 one pounds that the doctor's office last week. Good for you, 0:19:41.600 --> 0:19:44.760 and I can provide documentation if necessary. Well, Will, I 0:19:44.760 --> 0:19:48.120 will need documentation, He says, I would like to be 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:52.280 honored with the title, if at all possible, the biggest fan. 0:19:52.800 --> 0:19:55.919 So here's what I'm gonna do. Will. I don't know 0:19:56.000 --> 0:19:59.680 anyone who listens to the show regularly who weighs more 0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:03.560 than five one pounds, So until someone can prove to 0:20:03.600 --> 0:20:07.199 me that they are bigger than five pounds, Will in 0:20:07.280 --> 0:20:13.040 Illinois is the biggest fan in the Mallard Militia. Congratulations Will. 0:20:13.080 --> 0:20:16.440 That is a special title. Not everyone can have that title. 0:20:16.480 --> 0:20:18.960 You gotta eat a lot of food and mom, man, 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:21.520 I I would estimate back at my biggest I was 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:26.960 I was likely around five hundred pounds. Yes, yes, yeah, 0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:29.399 I would think at least four fifty. I don't know 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:30.639 if I got all up to five, but it was. 0:20:30.880 --> 0:20:34.080 I was in that ballpark at my fattest. And so 0:20:34.280 --> 0:20:37.160 you six ft five six six, yeah, six five six 0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:38.520 six to pay if I stand up straight, I've a 0:20:38.520 --> 0:20:43.640 bad posture. But yeah, fucking five bills, man. And now 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.920 what do you you're like to sixty? Uh? Yeah, I'm 0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:49.600 in that, in that range, but I'm going down, going 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:51.399 down more, guestcount. I don't want to get too far 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:53.400 down there because I think I'll look really terrible because 0:20:53.400 --> 0:20:55.119 I lost a lot of weight before. I looked like 0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:59.199 skeletor was terrible. All right, Now, The key part of 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:01.359 this email from Mom man Will the biggest fan of 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:05.360 the Mallem Militia. He says. Secondly, I asked Bob Page 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:09.160 a simple question about working with you, and I attached 0:21:10.000 --> 0:21:13.439 his bullshit response. I have not taken the oath in 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:16.400 order to officially become a member of the Mallem Militia, 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:19.720 but I still want to defend your honor. Will says. 0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:23.720