Speaker 1: Ka boom. If you've thought four hours a day, minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto Cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse the clearing House of
Speaker 1: Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller starts right now. Into the mail bag
Speaker 1: we go as it is the beginning of yet another
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour with Ben Maller. Back again on a Saturday,
Speaker 1: Saturday Saturday. Because four hours a night clearly not enough,
Speaker 1: we do this now eight days a week. We've got
Speaker 1: the podcast today and also tomorrow. We Charlie Steiner on
Speaker 1: the Voice of the Dodgers yesterday chanced to catch up
Speaker 1: with Charlie tells some old stories. So hopefully you heard that.
Speaker 1: If not, what are you doing? Go back and download.
Speaker 1: It's a podcast. It's available to you. Uh this obviously
Speaker 1: because of the Overnight Show, the spinoff of the Overnight Show.
Speaker 1: We thank you for subscribing and downloading and reviewing. We
Speaker 1: need your reviews, We need your reviews and joining us now.
Speaker 1: West of the four oh five, a man who comes
Speaker 1: in here screaming and uh and trying desperately to get
Speaker 1: away from the podcast. Every week, Get bit Joss Fine,
Speaker 1: Ross four five, nothing that can plains near and dear
Speaker 1: to your heart. As always, we've we've run the gamut
Speaker 1: on on talent with the l A Dodgers. We did
Speaker 1: David Vasse a couple of weeks back, and Ut Charlie
Speaker 1: on who Who's Next? Well, I was a great Rick Monday.
Speaker 1: That would have to We have get the mo Monday.
Speaker 1: Mo will have to come on here at some point,
Speaker 1: you Monday. What about Ross Porter? You know Ross pretty well,
Speaker 1: don't you. I do. I'd like to get Ross on.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what Ross has going on these days,
Speaker 1: but yeah, we can get Ross until some Dodger talk
Speaker 1: stories from back in the Ross has great stories from
Speaker 1: the the heyday of television. And I worked with Ross
Speaker 1: briefly years ago. He was a voice of the Dodgers
Speaker 1: if you're not from l A for for million years
Speaker 1: with Vince Goo. He was like the number two guy
Speaker 1: on the Dodger broadcast. But u Ross, if you ever
Speaker 1: saw those Anchorman movies yet, Ross lived that life in
Speaker 1: the nineteen and seventies and before that he was a
Speaker 1: TV guy, and that was when the TV news mattered.
Speaker 1: There was no Internet, and they had all the big
Speaker 1: stars on there and some of the names who would
Speaker 1: go on to be legendary figures in television news. News
Speaker 1: worked locally at k NBC in Los Angeles, and Ross
Speaker 1: was part of that world and also called NFL games.
Speaker 1: He called NFL games for the network. Remember we were
Speaker 1: on the road, uh, and we we were Milwaukee at
Speaker 1: the Old count Any Stadium and we're walking through the
Speaker 1: cat walks to get the cat walk to get to
Speaker 1: the press box. And Ross's telling me, I called some
Speaker 1: Packer games here back in the back of the day,
Speaker 1: and I didn't realize that he had called the NFL.
Speaker 1: I remember he called the UNLV oh man back when
Speaker 1: they back when they were good with Jerry Tarkani in
Speaker 1: the late Great tarka Shark and they these dominant teams
Speaker 1: in the in the desert. And Ross would during the
Speaker 1: offseason travel to Vegas and the stay at a nice
Speaker 1: hotel and call some running Rebels basketball Now, so they're
Speaker 1: still the running Rebel. Was just gonna ask you that
Speaker 1: have they been canceled yet? I don't know. My my
Speaker 1: school Saddleback College. The Weenies there have decided to change
Speaker 1: their mascot very offensive there, the Gaucho tremendously offensive, very
Speaker 1: very You have a long list of nicknames, you might
Speaker 1: need a compliment to that. You might need an equally
Speaker 1: long list of cancelations. Oh, I could go on for infinity.
Speaker 1: H I mean, you know some people are it's like
Speaker 1: a cottage industry now to collect all the stuff that
Speaker 1: has been canceled. Get your Anti Miama, get your Uncle Ben,
Speaker 1: Dr Mr Potato Head. Uh, you know, get all these
Speaker 1: you know escomopie and all these things that the wocarati
Speaker 1: have determined. You know, redskins hat, you gotta get that,
Speaker 1: of course, Cleveland Indians, Chief Wahoo can You've got to
Speaker 1: find that very important. Uh, and so all these things
Speaker 1: that trying to collect all these things, but you're gonna
Speaker 1: have no room for anything else. You can become a
Speaker 1: hoarder if you collect everything that has been changed. And
Speaker 1: my my new thing. I don't know that many people
Speaker 1: have picked up on it, but as a tribute to
Speaker 1: the wocarati that is taking over the world, what I
Speaker 1: do now is I I honor just getting rid of
Speaker 1: team nicknames. Like every team nicknames offensive. Um, so I'll
Speaker 1: say the New Orleans football team from time to time,
Speaker 1: or the Chica Go football team, or the New York
Speaker 1: football team from the NFC, or the New York football
Speaker 1: team from the a f C or the Detroit because
Speaker 1: really that's I guess not offensive because that's what they
Speaker 1: did in Washington. Yeah, but well, what about the city
Speaker 1: of Los Angeles? Would you have to disband Los Angeles?
Speaker 1: The City of Angels? But if you're not religious and
Speaker 1: you take religion as offensive, yeah, well and just the
Speaker 1: word loss, you know the law and be offensive to someone.
Speaker 1: Uh so we really have to look at you know,
Speaker 1: one thing I've learned about the last couple of years
Speaker 1: is if one person is offended, no matter how big
Speaker 1: a loser that person is, everyone you everyone must be offended.
Speaker 1: There's no apparently. We live in a world now and
Speaker 1: I always you know, again, this is one of those
Speaker 1: things that has changed in my lifetime. I grew up,
Speaker 1: I said, I was raised that. You know, just because
Speaker 1: you're offended, you know you're not gonna be happy with
Speaker 1: everything in life. Some some things are gonna bother you,
Speaker 1: but you just kind of go with it. But now
Speaker 1: no on now, Oh my god, there's if you get
Speaker 1: up in the morning and and there's mobs of people
Speaker 1: that get up with these shenanigans every morning, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, I'm sorry, i have to I have
Speaker 1: to complain. I'm not happy with what's going on here.
Speaker 1: It's everything has gone upside down the last I don't
Speaker 1: even want to say last year or two, because it
Speaker 1: feels like it's been a lot of this in the
Speaker 1: making for quite a while. Well, the thing about the
Speaker 1: whole cancel stuff is that there's always been you know,
Speaker 1: people that have you know, self loathing, people with bully
Speaker 1: agendas that have complained, just nobody ever listened to them.
Speaker 1: Now now, for you know, certain reasons. We have our
Speaker 1: different theories. And you can read the book you know,
Speaker 1: George Orwell wrote, which is still people here in nineteen
Speaker 1: eighty four. Some people that don't know the George Orwell story, um,
Speaker 1: because that's the name of the nine four they think
Speaker 1: well that he wrote in nineteen eighty four. It wasn't
Speaker 1: that long ago. He published that book in nineteen forty night.
Speaker 1: George Orwell died in nineteen fifty and the things that
Speaker 1: he wrote about you guys been dead for seventy plus years,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know the parallel world, it's coming closer
Speaker 1: and closer that by the day, by the day. Dr SEUs,
Speaker 1: what what was the last time he graced our our
Speaker 1: good land. Dr SEUs died in the early nineties and
Speaker 1: was honored by every president. The reason they do the
Speaker 1: National Book Day is because it's on his birthday, the
Speaker 1: guy that wrote Dr SEUs And uh, it was so
Speaker 1: somebody sent me a link on the social media that
Speaker 1: they had all these presidents since since Dr SEUs died,
Speaker 1: all of them, just Massager and Doctor Sus. I got
Speaker 1: a montage Joe Biden until Joe Biden came. But even
Speaker 1: Kamela Harris didn't you send me the link. I think
Speaker 1: you were the one that sent me that thing a
Speaker 1: couple of years ago. She loved Dr. Dr SEUs wasn't
Speaker 1: racist in seventeen, but in one he became you know,
Speaker 1: kkke a guy just it's just amazing that the one
Speaker 1: guy that probably can't read a teleprompt for now is
Speaker 1: canceling his idea. We don't know, we don't know if
Speaker 1: you can read a teleprompter, because he would have to
Speaker 1: do a news conference to uh to do that right?
Speaker 1: It isn't usually is he getting through four years? But yeah,
Speaker 1: but if he doesn't, doesn't have to face the music,
Speaker 1: why not? It's like we can at Bernie's. You know,
Speaker 1: he put him out there and you know you can
Speaker 1: survive for a while that way. Man, nothing really terrible
Speaker 1: happens or in the you know what's going to hit
Speaker 1: the fan there? Yeah, the ship'll hit the fan. Yeah, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's good. We can curse. I don't know. I gotta
Speaker 1: be careful here, I gotta I don't know what we
Speaker 1: can curse? We can? Yeah, do you want to give
Speaker 1: me another nickname? What? What was the nickname you wanted
Speaker 1: to give me? No, I didn't want to give you
Speaker 1: another nickname. But you said, you said I another nickname? No,
Speaker 1: I said, with all the nicknames that you have, you
Speaker 1: should have a complimentary cancelation list, because you got what
Speaker 1: fifty nicknames? You should have fifty different things that be
Speaker 1: canceled them last two of forty eight. I am, known,
Speaker 1: among other things, is the spin master of misinformation, the
Speaker 1: bannering broadcaster, the Beethoven of bs, curmudgeon of commentary, chasm
Speaker 1: of sarcasm. I've been called the Tsare of Zeny, the
Speaker 1: dark night of weeknights sports radio, Mogul of mischief, Benny
Speaker 1: the Brazen King of Zing, Moneyball Mallard, Facetious Fox, Sultan
Speaker 1: of insulting, the Shaman of schaden freude that came from
Speaker 1: Big Grig Rob the other Day, Jumping Jack of wisecrack,
Speaker 1: Insight of overnight medicine, Man Mallard, Neah Bob of Negativity,
Speaker 1: Sage of Outrage, Pinnacle of cynical, Prince of preposterous, Professor
Speaker 1: of propaganda, Hazar Hyperbole, and the mad Hatter of sports chatter.
Speaker 1: That's that's only half. I have another. And now I
Speaker 1: guess unofficially you are Bowti Maller after your performance. That's
Speaker 1: not I know, it's Benny bowtime, Betty b that's good man.
Speaker 1: Did you uh now, was that a straight clip on
Speaker 1: or did you actually align that boat tie by yourself? Uh? Well, no,
Speaker 1: it was sent in by a listener a couple of
Speaker 1: years ago. Sports Plus sent that in for a previous
Speaker 1: episode of the Bennies, and I I kept it and
Speaker 1: I said, this is a special thing. People don't think
Speaker 1: I do this. They think think, why would you dress
Speaker 1: You're on radio no one can see stupid address up.
Speaker 1: Why would you do that? But I believe your fear
Speaker 1: of the mind. I believe that you should dress appropriately,
Speaker 1: and so I attempt to do that as often as
Speaker 1: I possibly can, and not just show up in my
Speaker 1: in my underwear, in my pajamas and all that. So
Speaker 1: I dressed up. Was big night for the show and fans.
Speaker 1: The p Ones loved it. To Malla Militia enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: And we can do a little post game on the
Speaker 1: Bennies right now on this fifth hour. Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: curious about the rage because, as you had mentioned last week,
Speaker 1: it's not about the winners, that's about the losers. It's
Speaker 1: about who was not there at the podium to accept there, Benny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Well the big meltdown, Well, we had a couple of meltdowns.
Speaker 1: We had a couple of meltdowns. You know, we had
Speaker 1: predicted this, We called our shot last week in the
Speaker 1: fifth hour, and and sure enough, Uh, we had it. Now,
Speaker 1: the big explosion from the Mallard Militia the p Ones
Speaker 1: was our friend Sir scratch Off in Arkansas, who was
Speaker 1: very upset driving around the highways and byways of Arkansas.
Speaker 1: Uh and uh, He called up offended that he was
Speaker 1: not even nominated, not even nominated for one of the
Speaker 1: categories on the Benny's. Forget that he didn't win, and
Speaker 1: so he's greatly bothered by that. It was very nice
Speaker 1: about it, but he began to me, but he was
Speaker 1: he was very upset that his impact on the show
Speaker 1: was not was not honored. So he got very upset.
Speaker 1: And then the one that blew me away. Uh, you
Speaker 1: talked about friendly fire, Brian Finley. Brian Finley, who we
Speaker 1: had to put into a body bag, body bodybag, body
Speaker 1: bag first round KO Brian Finley attempted to step into
Speaker 1: the lions Den and he was not prepared. He called up.
Speaker 1: I think it was the day after the Bennies. It
Speaker 1: all runs together here, but Finley was protesting a blowout
Speaker 1: loss as Jonas Knox kicked his tail in the best
Speaker 1: Crew fill in category at the Benny's. Jonas got forty
Speaker 1: nine percent of the vote dominated and uh, Brian Finley
Speaker 1: was was much closer to the likes of Chris perfect
Speaker 1: Bow the show and Brian no, uh, they're all right there,
Speaker 1: and so he was very upset. He made all these
Speaker 1: accusations and all that he was protesting. He tossed out
Speaker 1: all kinds of whackadoodle conspiracy theories, and when that didn't work,
Speaker 1: he then turned to personal attacks and red herrings and
Speaker 1: it was tremendous. I don't know if you heard. It's
Speaker 1: on the podcast there. You can go back and listen.
Speaker 1: But I bobbed and weaved for a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1: I let him toss out his rhetoric, and then I
Speaker 1: took out a cartoon size and field and I dropped
Speaker 1: it on top of his head and uh, and then
Speaker 1: I just machine gun style just unloaded their rat tat tat,
Speaker 1: rat tat tat, and he was in a body bag.
Speaker 1: He was overserated d O a dead on arrival. So
Speaker 1: that let that be a teachable moment. Brian was very
Speaker 1: bragadocious about the Finley fanatics and all that which is
Speaker 1: very small, very small like him and I think one
Speaker 1: other person are part of that. So as LaVar Ball
Speaker 1: would say, stay in your lane, stay in your lane.
Speaker 1: As nice that he was on the scorecard though right
Speaker 1: he was at He's there, he was identified, he was
Speaker 1: in contention until the voting started. There's oftentimes there's people
Speaker 1: that are overlooked despite putting in numerous hours and days
Speaker 1: and logging hours to get my little violin and time
Speaker 1: where he identify you know who who brings you to
Speaker 1: the party, you know who brings to the dance, who
Speaker 1: carries you in? You know it's uh, it's an important thing.
Speaker 1: And so that's that's good. At least. Brian was identified
Speaker 1: as one of thost team players on Mallard's Myles Squad.
Speaker 1: I guess right, Jonas and Brian and Chris Bruffett and
Speaker 1: Bo what's it's exciting that you had two board ops
Speaker 1: on their guys that probably don't stay awake for the
Speaker 1: entire show from what I've heard, But you know, it's
Speaker 1: very lightning to us. Well listen, I I know you're
Speaker 1: obviously talking about yourself, talking about myself. The Bennies are
Speaker 1: a joyful cave. It is. It is the moment, the
Speaker 1: one night that is different than all of the nights
Speaker 1: that we stopped. Are frolicking around the radio and we
Speaker 1: have a swar ray, we have a parte uh and
Speaker 1: we get together there and uh, you know there's a
Speaker 1: lot of people basking in the after though there's other
Speaker 1: people like yourself that are complaining and all that. But
Speaker 1: I will tell you that if you would like to
Speaker 1: be nominated, you have to be a less of a
Speaker 1: wuss and actually be willing to fill in from time
Speaker 1: to time. But Brian Finley, say what you want. He's
Speaker 1: terrible at his job, but he always answers the call.
Speaker 1: He's always there and uh, you know, and that's fine.
Speaker 1: And so when you show up, isn't that the old quote? Right?
Speaker 1: Most of work is just showing up? Showing up is
Speaker 1: the You have a problem with that part? Problem? You know?
Speaker 1: It was? It was Woody Allen. I don't know if
Speaker 1: we're allowed to quote him. Has he been canceled, But
Speaker 1: he said that ninety percent of life is just showing up.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true. Yeah, that's true. I think I do.
Speaker 1: I think I do my fair share of showing up.
Speaker 1: As as one that actually drives into work. I think
Speaker 1: it is all about showing up. And I don't drive
Speaker 1: right any I have a fine rate your studio that
Speaker 1: I broadcast from. You think Rush Limbos stopped going to
Speaker 1: work when he did the show from his house. I
Speaker 1: don't think he did. Yeah, I think he should still
Speaker 1: shut up to work. Most listen to men in radio
Speaker 1: before he passed away. I think he is still showed
Speaker 1: up to work even though he be sure to catch
Speaker 1: live editions of The Ben Meller Show weekdays at two
Speaker 1: a m. Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Fox Sports Radio has
Speaker 1: the best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all
Speaker 1: of our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and
Speaker 1: within the I Heart Radio app. Search f s R
Speaker 1: to listen live. Shocking. Oh, I will Benny's I was
Speaker 1: gonna say, I think that the Bennies are are a
Speaker 1: new concept, relatively speaking, compared to some of the bits
Speaker 1: you've had for for quite some time. Well, we've been
Speaker 1: doing the Bennies. I don't even I you know, I
Speaker 1: lose truck at time. I don't even know. I mean
Speaker 1: people email me and say, hey, I've been listening for
Speaker 1: this long, I remember something you did? You know? I
Speaker 1: don't even a time. I think Einstein said time is
Speaker 1: an illusion, right, isn't that? And I tend to agree
Speaker 1: with that because there's different points in everyone's life where
Speaker 1: time speeds up, and then there's other points where time
Speaker 1: goes really slow, really really slow. Does an illusion? But
Speaker 1: does that mean in times where you have fastened things
Speaker 1: up and you hit fast forward that you think about mortality,
Speaker 1: you think about where you were, where you are, and
Speaker 1: where you might end up. Oh, ever, since my parents died,
Speaker 1: I've my mom. I always think I never worried about
Speaker 1: dying before that. But then when let's see your parents
Speaker 1: pass away, you think, Okay, well I'm up next. Well
Speaker 1: you know that's I'm in the on deck circle. So
Speaker 1: uh yeah, I mean listen, I I obviously think you know,
Speaker 1: I don't obsess with it because there's nothing you can
Speaker 1: do about it, But yeah, I think about that part
Speaker 1: of it. That whole process is going to be like
Speaker 1: but you know, clearly it us not be that bad
Speaker 1: because no one's gotten out of dying, So you can't
Speaker 1: be that terrible because everyone's done it and everyone's gonna
Speaker 1: do it. So it's gotta accept accept your lot in life.
Speaker 1: Ye Benny bradside, that's uh, I guess we go from
Speaker 1: the Benny's to death. It's one thing after another. I've
Speaker 1: I've believed this quote even before I started thinking about mortality.
Speaker 1: But that you when you're born, you were born with
Speaker 1: a fatal illness life. There it is a fatal illness.
Speaker 1: There is no cure for it. Um you're going to die.
Speaker 1: And that's just the way. Now. I didn't know if
Speaker 1: you know this, but I was made light of this
Speaker 1: a few days ago, thank you to social media. Is
Speaker 1: that if you were born and your skin color is white,
Speaker 1: you were actually born into racism. Yeah, actually that the
Speaker 1: other day. Yeah, and ignore that. But uh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: know there's people with We used to call those people
Speaker 1: that said that people had a severe mental illness, but
Speaker 1: but now I guess we listened to them, So I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't leaving the charge. Leaving the charge, Yes, exactly
Speaker 1: exact mundo. All right, you wanna do some pop quiz
Speaker 1: some time? Left her pop quiz? These are things I
Speaker 1: found around the internet. And I'll ask guestcon but I'm
Speaker 1: really asking you. I'm really asking you for your help.
Speaker 1: All right, So here we goes. It's very exciting. Uh,
Speaker 1: this item used to be very common, but a new
Speaker 1: survey found that roughly one in three teenagers today have
Speaker 1: never ever even seen one. What is a pro tractor?
Speaker 1: A pro tract? Ye? No? Think correct? Would you like
Speaker 1: to try again? Do do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Do Do?
Speaker 1: How about ruler? No? This is something when I was
Speaker 1: back in mind. Uh, this is something that we had
Speaker 1: a class in is that important? Geography? It's still a
Speaker 1: skill I used today, but the thing I used is
Speaker 1: no longer around. In fact, they're not making it's a
Speaker 1: collectible now. I can't be math in a calculator that's
Speaker 1: always around. Um what are the classes? Would that included
Speaker 1: a map? No map class? Well, geography, I said, typing? Typewriter,
Speaker 1: typewriter typing? You learned? I learned how to type on
Speaker 1: a typewriter. I hated typewriter. No delete button? You can
Speaker 1: you know, just pain The ass's called the stenographer? Is
Speaker 1: that what they are? Reporters? The couple of you. No, no,
Speaker 1: not though it's talking about a real typewriter. I know.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking like people that type really fucking fast speed. Well,
Speaker 1: the people in the court, they have a different keyboard, right,
Speaker 1: they use special keyboard, and uh, I love the the
Speaker 1: the typewriter. I pushed a documentary on freaking typewriters back
Speaker 1: in the day and it was fascinating. If you look
Speaker 1: at your keyboard right, the the way the keys are aligned, right,
Speaker 1: it doesn't make any sense. You would you would say, right,
Speaker 1: the keys on the keyboard, and um, they the claim
Speaker 1: the early typewriter salesman. The reason they made the typewriter
Speaker 1: keyboard look that way is when they were going out
Speaker 1: to sell the typewriters, and they sold them with in
Speaker 1: a home demonstrations. The door to door salesman would come
Speaker 1: into the house and say, all right, I have this
Speaker 1: magical machine, the typewriter, and if you look at the
Speaker 1: top line the keyboard that has the Q W E, R, T,
Speaker 1: Y U, I, O P, those are all the letters
Speaker 1: that you need for typewriter. Those are all bunched together.
Speaker 1: The reason it's like that is to quickly be able
Speaker 1: to type typewriter on a piece of paper when you're
Speaker 1: doing a demonstration. All right, yeah, that's good. How about
Speaker 1: that for a mind blowing all right, you'll never you'll
Speaker 1: never look at the typewriter the same way. Yeah, didn't
Speaker 1: that wild because it doesn't make any other sense. You're like, well,
Speaker 1: I mean they're all jumbled, all the letters right there,
Speaker 1: not why wouldn't you make them in order? Then they
Speaker 1: I guess the other claim was, well they didn't want
Speaker 1: to put them in order because there's certain letters that
Speaker 1: are together that use all the time, so your fingers
Speaker 1: would be like, you know, bunched together and all that.
Speaker 1: But um, but the the documentary was Tom Hanks collects Typewriters.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, like it's a it's a trendy thing for
Speaker 1: like some of the elites that collect typers. I remember
Speaker 1: when I was doing the Blitz with Looney Tunes, there
Speaker 1: was a place in India that was the last place
Speaker 1: in the world that made typewriters new typewriters, and they
Speaker 1: stopped doing that. So as of I don't know if
Speaker 1: it's changed, but as of a couple of years ago,
Speaker 1: there were no no factories making typewriters in the world,
Speaker 1: completely gone. And that's something that I learned how to
Speaker 1: type on back in the back in the day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: fun facts about type That's the only reason I did
Speaker 1: that one. All right. In a new survey and he'll
Speaker 1: be of married couples say they wish they could go
Speaker 1: back in time and change this about their wedding. What
Speaker 1: would they change? Um, I think food would be too obvious.
Speaker 1: I'll say the amount of guests. The amount of guests?
Speaker 1: All right? Uh no, it's the song for their first dancer,
Speaker 1: all right, Yeah, it seems kind of cheesy to me.
Speaker 1: Are you ever gonna get married? Giescing down the line
Speaker 1: of course, I'll be your best man. I don't even
Speaker 1: know if I can go outside. Let al get married.
Speaker 1: We could do like a virtue, a wedding online in
Speaker 1: animate object. Yeah, I can do that. Marry my typewriter? Yeah, yeah, alright?
Speaker 1: What is next year? According to a new survey, about
Speaker 1: one third of Americans believe this is the most important
Speaker 1: thing to keep in your car? What is it? Although
Speaker 1: it's not something that anyone around these parts would have
Speaker 1: in their car, or we do the chauffeur, do do do? Do? Do?
Speaker 1: Say jumper cables? But I guess not. Um uh? An
Speaker 1: ice scraper? All right? You no reason for us to
Speaker 1: have an ice scraper, No chance. If you're in the
Speaker 1: the north Land, that would be the way to go,
Speaker 1: all right. A new survey asked men and women to
Speaker 1: name their most important factor in deciding to buy a home.
Speaker 1: The size of the home was the most common response
Speaker 1: from women. What did most men pick as the most
Speaker 1: important factor in deciding to buy? Real estate comps? Real
Speaker 1: estate comps. No, it's in that area, but not it's location, location, location, location,
Speaker 1: which does translate the comps. You have the same size
Speaker 1: house on the wrong side of the tracks. The hard
Speaker 1: scrabble streets, and you have the same size house in
Speaker 1: a good part of town, or even a smaller house
Speaker 1: in the good part of town, and that that house
Speaker 1: on the location is going to be worth more because
Speaker 1: better schools and shopping and it's basic stuff. We all, yeah,
Speaker 1: we all know that, right. Yeah, you can't. You can't
Speaker 1: have a mansion in the ghetto, as they would say.
Speaker 1: You can have the most luxurious house, but if it's
Speaker 1: in the middle of Compton, it's gonna be the same
Speaker 1: price as every other house around it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you And you don't want to have the best house
Speaker 1: on the block, the top house on the block, because
Speaker 1: for the same concept. You know, it's like and even worse.
Speaker 1: People don't understand or recognize this. But you guys can
Speaker 1: live in a great neighborhood and if someone has to
Speaker 1: be short sold on, they get foreclosed on, they go
Speaker 1: belly up, their prices diminished, and yours come down too.
Speaker 1: Although right now the housing market is off the hook
Speaker 1: Los Angeles. It's insane. People are paying for houses that
Speaker 1: years ago, we're not worth much. Now they're paying tons
Speaker 1: of money for these houses, all right. A new survey
Speaker 1: asked people to name something that should be America's national food.
Speaker 1: Almost two thirds of people pick this. What is it? Pizza? No,
Speaker 1: not pizza? Should I again? I don't know. I can't
Speaker 1: say bagon steak. Why can't you say bake? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Bacon is too easy. That's why you're not good at
Speaker 1: this game. The answer is bacon? By did you have? By? You? Ye? Bacon?
Speaker 1: What's bacon and baking you put with anything? Bake on
Speaker 1: turkey bacon. You can get regular pig bacon, swine bacon,
Speaker 1: whatever you wanted. A nearly ten percent of employees wasn't
Speaker 1: isn't the story of bacon? That was like, that was
Speaker 1: just something we're trying to get rid of the bad
Speaker 1: parts of the pig, and so they came up with
Speaker 1: the bacon. Right. It wasn't a delicacy until a few
Speaker 1: years back. Yeah. Yeah, It's like the thing we've talked
Speaker 1: about in the past on this about the lobster, Right,
Speaker 1: wasn't lobster low end food? Because it was a lot
Speaker 1: of work to eat the lobster, and so they used
Speaker 1: to in the early days of America, they would give
Speaker 1: it to prison breaking lobster, Holy red lobster, batman and
Speaker 1: they give it to the prisoners and then eventually somebody's old,
Speaker 1: this is a delicacy. Gotta have good. It's a lot
Speaker 1: of food. Like um, the history of barbecue in America, right,
Speaker 1: it was in the South, and it was, you know,
Speaker 1: just they had to cook food extra long too, because
Speaker 1: they got crappy food and made this amazing barbecue. I
Speaker 1: remember seeing a documentary about that, the history of barbecue
Speaker 1: and how it originally and that I love barbe little.
Speaker 1: I'm a little hunger right now, you are, Maybe you
Speaker 1: should eat something, all right. Nearly ten percent of employees
Speaker 1: say they planned to do this at work today, and
Speaker 1: you were in this group. You are in this group
Speaker 1: of people. Do do do? Do? Do? Do? Do? Show
Speaker 1: up late, show up blate? Alright? Is it show up late? No? Uh?
Speaker 1: Look for another job? Was the last time you showed
Speaker 1: up to work and didn't look for another job? Guest gun?
Speaker 1: Is that like maybe the nineties? I think maybe I
Speaker 1: don't know. I wasn't working in the nineties. Thank you
Speaker 1: very much. You were. You were on the radio. I
Speaker 1: listened to you when I was a kid back in
Speaker 1: the nineties. Oh no, no, that was that was the
Speaker 1: chief wrong, wrong, David wrong. Uh. It originally cost one penny,
Speaker 1: but just a few years ago was auctioned off for
Speaker 1: about nine point five million dollars. What was this item?
Speaker 1: What the object? Um? I don't know. You're gonna have
Speaker 1: to tell me. I can't even It's a stamp. Stamp
Speaker 1: originally cost one penny and auction for nine point I
Speaker 1: have a bunch of stamps my my my father collected
Speaker 1: stamps and left them behind, didn't take them with him,
Speaker 1: And uh, I have no concept of what stamps are
Speaker 1: worth a lot? What aren't worth a lot? There are
Speaker 1: so many too, because there's so little and you can
Speaker 1: collect so many of them. And uh, that's wild. All right,
Speaker 1: let's see here. Well, health experts say that this is
Speaker 1: something we should do every day. Only about ten percent
Speaker 1: of people actually do it. Something health related, very simple thing.
Speaker 1: I don't do this. Stretch. You probably do this, but
Speaker 1: I don't do no. Not stretched. Weigh yourself. Do you
Speaker 1: weigh yourself every day? I probably weigh myself like once
Speaker 1: every two weeks. I don't do that. Yeah. I My
Speaker 1: test when I know I'm getting fat is when my
Speaker 1: clothes feel a little tighter. That's the that's the sun.
Speaker 1: I'm getting fat and it it hasn't happened a while. Usually
Speaker 1: it's gone the other way. It's because you usually wear
Speaker 1: pajamas every days. Not true. How do you know that?
Speaker 1: Because you don't leave your damn house. That's why I
Speaker 1: go out to get the mail, go down the driveway.
Speaker 1: That's what es for. I don't have. I don't don't
Speaker 1: remember robe. I might be well, that's west little world.
Speaker 1: My wife's like, maybe I should get men usually get
Speaker 1: one of these every two years. What is it? One
Speaker 1: of these every two years? A suit? A suit? Al right?
Speaker 1: Is it a suit? No? That is incorrect. The correct
Speaker 1: answer would be a new belt. All right, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: remember the last time I got a a new belt.
Speaker 1: I'm a one belt guy. I don't get dressed up
Speaker 1: other than funerals, bar mitzvahs and occasional weddings. That's pretty
Speaker 1: much the extent of my dress up time. So it's
Speaker 1: not like I have a TV gig I have to
Speaker 1: get dressed up for. But I get I put on
Speaker 1: the nice shirt and whatnot there from time to time.
Speaker 1: But that's for the YouTube videos the company wants me
Speaker 1: to do up. Ah, yeah, that's right. Uh, let's see,
Speaker 1: since the beginning of a pandemic, more men than ever
Speaker 1: are purchasing this item. But you're probably one of the
Speaker 1: people purchasing this. Be surprised if you're not waits No
Speaker 1: not weights. Might have always purchased weights, meatheads, m video games,
Speaker 1: video games? Fine answers at video games. No not video games.
Speaker 1: The correct answer makeup. You buy makeup for a little TV, right,
Speaker 1: you know, a little powder on the nails, powder on
Speaker 1: the cheeks, lipstick on they're good. Yeah. Interesting. Uh. Ten
Speaker 1: percent of men admit they have done this after a
Speaker 1: first date. What is it? They've called their acts? That's
Speaker 1: not a bad one. No, they've changed their phone number.
Speaker 1: That's a lot of work that yeah, just block them. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean the move would be able to using like
Speaker 1: a burner phone or one of those apps that makes
Speaker 1: it seem like you have a phone number, one of
Speaker 1: those deals. If you're doing one of those, then you
Speaker 1: get cheesy to change your number. So a big deal.
Speaker 1: But you actually have to physically on your phone, your smartphone,
Speaker 1: change your number, not using using some app. That's a
Speaker 1: pain in the ass. Yeah, that's true. That's why would
Speaker 1: you do that? Man? All right, we have time for
Speaker 1: a couple more here and I'm gonna get the heck
Speaker 1: out of out of Dodge. For the Saturday Fifth Hour podcast,
Speaker 1: thirty seven percent of women almost say they pay particular
Speaker 1: attention to this on a first date. What is It's
Speaker 1: very important for you guests go on here because you're
Speaker 1: you're not there dating. It's very important. Um, how you dress? No, no, that,
Speaker 1: it's how you act your decorum. You're a table manners only. Yeah.
Speaker 1: The other sixty percent don't care. If you're a neanderthal
Speaker 1: in a cave man, they don't care. It's kind of interesting. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't care if you're that's not a good sign.
Speaker 1: That's the willed the beast. Yeah. It's not manners, not
Speaker 1: not so much around these every really, I mean, do
Speaker 1: you think about manners? And even when I that's something
Speaker 1: that's changed. When I was a kid, there was a
Speaker 1: lot of man When you go out to restaurants and
Speaker 1: all that, you gotta act a certain way. But it's
Speaker 1: like just like airplanes. People used to go on airplanes
Speaker 1: get all dressed up. And people would go to ball games.
Speaker 1: You see photos of baseball games in the early nineteen hundreds,
Speaker 1: and people wore suits and they were hats and they
Speaker 1: were dressed up. It was an event to go to
Speaker 1: the game or go on an airplane PanAm airways. Right,
Speaker 1: you'd be back in the day. You see the deal there,
Speaker 1: And like, mayeah, oh, I didn't want to mention I
Speaker 1: I've been watching some of these old games on on
Speaker 1: the YouTube, you know these, So I've been watching these
Speaker 1: Monday night baseball games. I watched one the other day
Speaker 1: for these are from like the nineteen eighties, and it
Speaker 1: was Howard Cosell, Keith Jackson, and Bob Yuker. And it
Speaker 1: was the funniest thing because there it was like a
Speaker 1: White Sox game and they were talking about some manager
Speaker 1: that had quit and and Cosell was was saying that
Speaker 1: baseball has changed a lot. These players today with their
Speaker 1: blow dryers and rock and roll music in locker rooms,
Speaker 1: it's just not the same. It was so funny, And
Speaker 1: that goes back to my theory, the Mallard theory that
Speaker 1: it just everything repeats itself, like the players complain about
Speaker 1: previous or future generations and uh, and also complained about
Speaker 1: the ones you know that that are you know trailing.
Speaker 1: It's it's just nothing but complaining. And I used that
Speaker 1: because when I started in the in sports media back
Speaker 1: in the day in you know, Jordan's was playing for
Speaker 1: the Chicago Bulls. It was that era, and the players
Speaker 1: of the previous generation was like, well, it's you know, Jordan's.
Speaker 1: It's not the same. The NBA is not as good
Speaker 1: as it used to be. It's not as tough. But
Speaker 1: even during that Monday night baseball broadcast, they were talking
Speaker 1: about the you know, baseball has changed. The new players
Speaker 1: in the sport just don't play it the right way,
Speaker 1: you know. But then those players in the nineteen eighties
Speaker 1: are also that. They then complained about the players in
Speaker 1: the nineties, and then the players in the nineties complained
Speaker 1: about the player They complained, it's just every decade complains
Speaker 1: about the decade that follows. But I don't do that
Speaker 1: for radio. No, no, I don't do that. I'm classy,
Speaker 1: rinse and repeat generation after generation pretty much. All right, listen,
Speaker 1: have a wonderful rest of your Saturday. Try the cameo.
Speaker 1: If you're on cameo if you're if you're not, it's
Speaker 1: easy to sign up there. You don't have to sign
Speaker 1: up for anything. Just cameo dot com search my name
Speaker 1: Ben mallow you got a birthday coming up, big event, wedding,
Speaker 1: bar mitzvah, whatever, Just want to own your own Mallard monologue.
Speaker 1: Will do one for you if you're interested. It's not free,
Speaker 1: but it's not much. I guess Gon's on there as well,
Speaker 1: and we'll catch you next time. Be sure to catch
Speaker 1: live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays at two
Speaker 1: am Eastern eleven pm Pacific. Fox Sports Radio has the
Speaker 1: best sports talk lineup in the nation. Catch all of
Speaker 1: our shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within
Speaker 1: the I Heart Radio app search f s R to
Speaker 1: listen live.