Speaker 1: The nik Nikky. Hello, Happy Thursday everyone, last show of
Speaker 1: the week. Don't worry, we'll be back on Monday. I'll
Speaker 1: be in Mexico with Noah. Noah, We're gonna broadcast from Mexico.
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about it. I mean, yeah, we're
Speaker 1: doing it. I got asked to do another show next week, um,
Speaker 1: and I said, you listen, I can do it. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to take next week off, like truly sink into
Speaker 1: a vacation, and but this I honestly would miss if
Speaker 1: I took this show off. Yesterday I had the longest day.
Speaker 1: And I know I always say this, but like I
Speaker 1: just I am not used to having a thing that
Speaker 1: I don't dread, and that on a day where I
Speaker 1: have so much other stuff going on that I still
Speaker 1: want to do this. But yesterday, No, it was today.
Speaker 1: Why do I think it was yesterday? Today? I have
Speaker 1: so much going on. Um, right after this, I have
Speaker 1: a hair and makeup lady showing up. Two hours of
Speaker 1: getting gussied up. Then I'm going to sit down in
Speaker 1: this exact chair and put on my laptop and talk
Speaker 1: to Access Hollywood Entertainment tonight E A bunch of other
Speaker 1: things they and I was like, oh god, I have
Speaker 1: so much to do. And then you know, just I
Speaker 1: haven't been able to clean my house or unpack from
Speaker 1: my last trip, Like I just kind of unpacked last night.
Speaker 1: But it's just my house is a mess. Andrews actually
Speaker 1: leaving town to take his girlfriend to move to Chicago,
Speaker 1: which I'm sad about but also glad that I'll have
Speaker 1: the place to myself to just you know, I don't know,
Speaker 1: do whatever, but I was thinking about this podcast in
Speaker 1: this morning. I had an Orthodonis appointment at nine twenty
Speaker 1: and I had to go shopping afterwards to go get
Speaker 1: an outfit for this press day that I'm doing today,
Speaker 1: because they offered me five hundred bucks. HBO said, you
Speaker 1: have five hundred bucks for wardrobe, and I just thought like, oh,
Speaker 1: they're just gonna give it to me, and like I
Speaker 1: can just wear something I have and then use it
Speaker 1: later or whatever, because I will go to like I'll
Speaker 1: wear five undred others worth of my own clothing, like
Speaker 1: maybe they're paying me to wear it. Um, But my
Speaker 1: assistant let me know, like only if you buy something
Speaker 1: will they give it to you. So I went to
Speaker 1: t J Max. Noah, Oh my god, I like, I'll
Speaker 1: get to that in a second. What I wanted to
Speaker 1: say was that I was like so excited to do
Speaker 1: this podcast. While I was like thinking about, like I
Speaker 1: gotta rush into this, I was like, this day, I
Speaker 1: would have a worse day if it wasn't for this,
Speaker 1: And this is all I need. This is all I
Speaker 1: need in my life. I said, is me and my girlfriend,
Speaker 1: Me and my girlfriend on need Marian, is me and
Speaker 1: my podcast. Noah and Andrew and my bestie is gonna
Speaker 1: listen every day. You don't have to listen every day.
Speaker 1: We'll catch you up. Um. Yeah. I I love everyone
Speaker 1: that listens every day and treats it like your morning
Speaker 1: radio show, like drive time thing like check in. I
Speaker 1: love that some of you just pop in when when
Speaker 1: you want to, Um, thank you for listening today, and
Speaker 1: um putting up with my voice sometimes my voice trying
Speaker 1: to be more like soft spoken and like last like
Speaker 1: up here. Someone recently told me I'm Anya and like
Speaker 1: my ex boyfriend. A lot of people, though, but some
Speaker 1: people that are not St. Louis In's have said that
Speaker 1: my Midwest accent is kicking right now, like it is
Speaker 1: back in full force, and I don't mind it. You know,
Speaker 1: it's not. I just tend to sound like my mom
Speaker 1: a lot more, you know, goddamnit, Nikki, Well, you know
Speaker 1: what I like the other day, some um my ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend said something that was very out of character, and
Speaker 1: I go, who is this guy? And how do I
Speaker 1: keep him around? Like? I said something like that, and
Speaker 1: I told Anya, I said that she goes, well, that
Speaker 1: was very Julie Glazer and I was like, I'm almost
Speaker 1: doing a character when I say that kind of stuff,
Speaker 1: you know, like who's this guy and when? But so
Speaker 1: is my mom? My mom is hilarious. God, my mom
Speaker 1: is so funny. I really like, I love my mom
Speaker 1: so much, which is you know obviously goes without saying.
Speaker 1: But you know, there have been times in my past
Speaker 1: with going through therapy. I was just talking to someone
Speaker 1: yesterday about therapy how it like makes you realize your
Speaker 1: parents may have done some stuff that like, if you
Speaker 1: love your parents and you go to therapy, you might
Speaker 1: like learn stuff about your parents that like makes you
Speaker 1: maybe see them differently, and you resist it because you're like,
Speaker 1: I just want to love my parents. I don't want
Speaker 1: to complicate this. Why bring this into it? And I
Speaker 1: went through a phase of like being mad at them
Speaker 1: about the stuff that came up in therapy, and then
Speaker 1: you go through a phase of mourning the parent that
Speaker 1: you wanted that you maybe in a perfect world, should
Speaker 1: have had. No one has the perfect parent, right unless
Speaker 1: you're trying to think it is the perfect parent my sister.
Speaker 1: I told my sister yesterday or two days ago, I
Speaker 1: really had a heart tart with her, and I was like,
Speaker 1: as much as you're impressed by me, you know, hosting
Speaker 1: awards shows and doing a podcast and having fans who
Speaker 1: are connected to me and all the things that I
Speaker 1: do that you know on paper, hosting a boy, like
Speaker 1: all these things that like, oh my god, my little
Speaker 1: my big sister Nikki has just turned into a star.
Speaker 1: It must be very I know how impressed she is
Speaker 1: and like, I could never do what you do. But
Speaker 1: I said in the same vein learn you are the
Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer. I like the way I am in comedy
Speaker 1: and entertainment. You are that as a um mother, like
Speaker 1: I watched her, And no offense to any mothers out there,
Speaker 1: I just have never seen a mother be so patient
Speaker 1: with kids that can be very, very demanding, and she um,
Speaker 1: it's just I just would never expected it from my
Speaker 1: little sister, who used to throw things at me in
Speaker 1: anger immediately, like whatever she was holding in her hand,
Speaker 1: if I made her mad, it would come curling at
Speaker 1: my head with pinpoint accuracy. You know, Gina davis archery
Speaker 1: skills in throwing a remote at my head. One time
Speaker 1: she threatened me with a knife. Um, when we were
Speaker 1: babysitting ourselves. I supposed to be basing her, and she
Speaker 1: said if I call the cops that she'll stab me,
Speaker 1: and she like held a knife up and like guarded
Speaker 1: the phone. It was very weird. My friend Kirsten was
Speaker 1: over and witnessed it. I'm glad someone bore witnessed that
Speaker 1: my sister was like crazy, never really hurt me. Um,
Speaker 1: I heard her for sure, Um emotionally and physically probably
Speaker 1: what we both like really hurt each other. But anyway,
Speaker 1: my sisters such like a gentle kind, good mother and
Speaker 1: her kids are not going to be like that interesting,
Speaker 1: you know, because they're like so deeply loved. But um no,
Speaker 1: they're going to be great. I uh, but what I
Speaker 1: want to say as I went to uh, I really
Speaker 1: got off on sentagents here. I'm grateful for my UM,
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for my listeners. I'm grateful for all the
Speaker 1: messages I got yesterday about the show with Zack Sherwin
Speaker 1: with the X Show. You know, that was a little
Speaker 1: bit of a risk to be so self indulgent in
Speaker 1: this story that meant so much to me but maybe
Speaker 1: doesn't have UM applications in your own life. But uh,
Speaker 1: boy was I wrong. A lot of people writing to
Speaker 1: me saying how great it was, how emotionally evolved I
Speaker 1: seem how UM. It was just really nice to get
Speaker 1: all these responses about like, Nikki, You've done a lot
Speaker 1: of work and it's it seems you've it really showed.
Speaker 1: I was just like, okay, good. Maybe I'm an adult now.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Um, I loved that podcast yesterday. It
Speaker 1: was like, truly, I just felt so much love for
Speaker 1: someone that I hated so much, and that what a
Speaker 1: beautiful feeling that is. I really love forgiveness and um,
Speaker 1: being accountable for the things that I did wrong in
Speaker 1: a situation where I only was the victim for so long,
Speaker 1: like there's no doubt about it. I didn't do anything
Speaker 1: wrong ever, and boy was that not the case. And
Speaker 1: I think that you can apply to it to your
Speaker 1: own life. Anything that you're like upset about and you go, I,
Speaker 1: I didn't do anything. Um there's always something to find,
Speaker 1: whether it's how you handle the thing that you didn't
Speaker 1: do anything to. Um, you know, be because I you know,
Speaker 1: I think about like rape and I go, I never
Speaker 1: want some girl to go, well, was my part in it?
Speaker 1: What your part in it is? Not like how it
Speaker 1: happened in in in, in my opinion, in any circumstance,
Speaker 1: But how you deal with it afterwards is something that
Speaker 1: you're in control of and can be accountable for, and
Speaker 1: it is probably one of the hardest things in the world.
Speaker 1: But um, you know, rape victims are very very strong,
Speaker 1: very strong people. UM So I read something today. Though
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to tea J. I'm gonna get to
Speaker 1: t J Max a second, but I just before I
Speaker 1: forget this was this kind of helped me yesterday and today.
Speaker 1: You know how I always talk about like those minor
Speaker 1: moments that will just derail your day a little, like
Speaker 1: something that will happen in We'll just listen to this.
Speaker 1: This was posted by Marquise got Goodwin. I don't know
Speaker 1: who that is, but he's verified Marquis good Goodwin on
Speaker 1: on Twitter. He said, if you had eighty six thousand,
Speaker 1: four hundred dollars in your bank account and someone stold
Speaker 1: ten dollars from you, would you get upset and throw
Speaker 1: the remaining amount of eight six thousand hours away? Uh no, See,
Speaker 1: we have eight hundred eight thousand. Sorry, we have eighty
Speaker 1: six thousand, four hundred seconds every single day, So don't
Speaker 1: let a negative ten seconds ruin your entire day. You
Speaker 1: run this ship. Pay attention, and yeah, pay attention like
Speaker 1: those moments where I didn't even finish the story yesterday,
Speaker 1: but I got two coffees from my Starbucks. I had
Speaker 1: to drive to the second one I was saving for
Speaker 1: later in the day. Luigi pulled me in a way
Speaker 1: when I was taking him out, and it was because
Speaker 1: I had to put a leash on him, because I
Speaker 1: knew people were gonna be like she has should I
Speaker 1: put a leash on him just to please other people,
Speaker 1: and because of that, he tugged the leash. My Starbucks
Speaker 1: was flying. It's spilled a whole VENTI Starbucks. There was
Speaker 1: probably a sip left spilled on a carpet in the
Speaker 1: um little vestibule entering my apartment building. I went to
Speaker 1: the office, the leasing office, and I go, guys, I
Speaker 1: just built an entire latte. I am so sorry. And
Speaker 1: they were like, we're not going to tell you that.
Speaker 1: That was just put in thirty minutes ago. We're not
Speaker 1: going to tell you that. And I go, you, well,
Speaker 1: you just did. And I am very sorry. What can
Speaker 1: I do? And they were like, don't worry about it. Um.
Speaker 1: I felt bad about the new carpet, like soiling it. Um.
Speaker 1: I wanted that latte. I was mad at Luigi. I
Speaker 1: I got distracted by by anger. And then I had
Speaker 1: a moment out by the bushes when Luigi was peeing
Speaker 1: and I was waiting for in the poop, and I go, Nikki,
Speaker 1: you know what to do here. You weren't meant to
Speaker 1: have that latte. Something that would have made something about
Speaker 1: that latte. If you had had it, it would have
Speaker 1: made you sick. It would have given you some kind
Speaker 1: of weird energy that wouldn't have beginn for your rest
Speaker 1: of the day. God whatever it was, had to intervene
Speaker 1: and knock it out of my hand, because I wasn't
Speaker 1: going to do that for myself, right, So I I
Speaker 1: paid attention to the negativity, and I stopped it in
Speaker 1: his trucks and wasn't gonna let that because you know,
Speaker 1: when you go everything's going wrong today, and you start
Speaker 1: this like story about your day because two things went wrong.
Speaker 1: Let's say you locked your keys in your car, then
Speaker 1: you spilled your coffee. Everything's wrong today. I guess what's more,
Speaker 1: things are gonna go wrong because you're in a negative space.
Speaker 1: Ace when I locked my keys in my mom's car
Speaker 1: in the trunk and it was like this whole fiasco,
Speaker 1: I like, didn't I just go, I can get a
Speaker 1: lock smith. This This is not No one died. Everyone
Speaker 1: in my family is healthy, Like, this is not that
Speaker 1: big of a deal. So I hope when something like
Speaker 1: that happens to you today that really fucks up your day,
Speaker 1: that you can remember. And I did this yesterday on
Speaker 1: my press junket for f Foy Island. I go, you know,
Speaker 1: I was having the best time in the show. I
Speaker 1: really wasn't aware of how hard everyone worked because I
Speaker 1: was so protected as the host, like everyone was always
Speaker 1: cheering around me, and like I was having the best time,
Speaker 1: Like this is the best time of my life, and
Speaker 1: everyone's like I've been working. I haven't slept for sixteen
Speaker 1: days and like one hour a night and everyone's sleepless,
Speaker 1: and um, I would whenever someone would come up to
Speaker 1: me and go Nikki, like it's just like I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do with these guys, and like they
Speaker 1: think this thing and I'm like stressed and like someone
Speaker 1: was having a panic, as everyone does on every production
Speaker 1: no matter what it is, I just go, can we
Speaker 1: take a second here and remember what the name of
Speaker 1: the show is. We are on a show called f
Speaker 1: Boy Island. This nothing matters, literally, like the fact that
Speaker 1: we are acting like f Boy Island is like our
Speaker 1: end all and like getting so worked up. Yes, jobs
Speaker 1: are on the line and your future economic stability might
Speaker 1: be on the line, but in the scheme of things,
Speaker 1: it's f Boy Island. And so I want to start
Speaker 1: a do motto that whenever you get caught up on
Speaker 1: something that literally does not affect the health and happiness
Speaker 1: of your family and your loved ones, you just go listen.
Speaker 1: It's f Bay Island. Everything is f Wey Island. It
Speaker 1: all doesn't matter, It all will be forgotten. That thing
Speaker 1: that you got stored, you know, the piece of jewelry
Speaker 1: that you the ring that's in your family for decades
Speaker 1: that you lost, that was your grandmother's, that thing that
Speaker 1: you like, can't stop beating yourself up about you let
Speaker 1: down your family whatever that thing is. Guess what, all
Speaker 1: your family is gonna die somedays, so will you. That
Speaker 1: ring is just a thing that will end up in
Speaker 1: the ocean when the ocean's rise. Everything is a thing
Speaker 1: that will go away. Focus on what you you have
Speaker 1: and not what you don't have. And thankfully you had
Speaker 1: that ring for many generations and now it's time for
Speaker 1: it to be in a sewer or whatever. You know. Um,
Speaker 1: I did go to TJ Max that five hundred dollars
Speaker 1: that I was told about to spend. The only place
Speaker 1: I was open after I got out of my orthodonicis
Speaker 1: at nine thirty was TJ Max. I ran over there
Speaker 1: because I'm a Maxinista, and I went buck wild. I
Speaker 1: spent six hundred dollars on different Oh my god, if
Speaker 1: you want to get good skin stuff, go to go
Speaker 1: to TJ Max. All of their facial stuff, like hair stuff.
Speaker 1: I got two gigantic conditioners fourteen dollars each that are
Speaker 1: really nice, like you know, Salon brand Um. And then
Speaker 1: I couldn't find an outfit, Like, nothing was cute enough.
Speaker 1: That's the weird thing about TJ Max. They have like
Speaker 1: their runway racks, which are like, you know, hundreds of dollars,
Speaker 1: like priced down from under like eight hundred dollars to
Speaker 1: two hundred dollars, where you're like, okay, there's two hundred
Speaker 1: dollar jacket, and then over on this rack it's a jet.
Speaker 1: There's nothing in between, so it's either crap or like
Speaker 1: crap me to ginta were expensive crap made in China
Speaker 1: that just has a tag on it that makes you
Speaker 1: think it's more better than the other stuff. Couldn't find anything.
Speaker 1: All of the runway stuff was like picked over, and
Speaker 1: I wanted to spend money on the runway stuff to
Speaker 1: get that five bucks, you know, and so I just
Speaker 1: I went over the recks a million times. All the
Speaker 1: sizes are weird. I couldn't anything I liked was an
Speaker 1: extra large or like a zero, and I was just like,
Speaker 1: so I found this this insane outfit that I'm gonna
Speaker 1: wear for my press today to justify the cost. Yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe I might leave a tag on the pants so
Speaker 1: I couldn't return them if they don't work out, but
Speaker 1: the whole effort will be seen. I forced myself to
Speaker 1: find an outfit. I used to love the show called Um.
Speaker 1: It should have been called make It Work, but it
Speaker 1: was called Like Something for Less and it was hosted
Speaker 1: by Elizabeth Hasselback r A P two when she was
Speaker 1: um not a trump uh trumpy UM. But she did
Speaker 1: the show where she would challenge people to go to
Speaker 1: like a Goodwill or whatever like second in Store with
Speaker 1: a certain amount of money and then find the most
Speaker 1: fashion forward outfit and put it all together. And they
Speaker 1: had stylists and I just loved that. I love the
Speaker 1: challenge of being somewhere where like nothing is cute, but
Speaker 1: you gotta make a fucking great outfit, which is what
Speaker 1: I did last week at ted Lasso. That is more
Speaker 1: fun to me than going to a place that just
Speaker 1: guarantees that you look cute. It's such a better story
Speaker 1: to be like, look at what I did. So, UM,
Speaker 1: I'm excited about my dumb outfit today. I did it,
Speaker 1: you guys, I did it. I spent five dollars at
Speaker 1: Teach Max. Aren't you proud of me? Let's getting Andrew
Speaker 1: in here? Andrew? Alrighty, Andrew, what up. How'd you sleep
Speaker 1: last night? Buddy? It's a day. I know. I know, Brenna,
Speaker 1: your girlfriend is leaving town. You're leaving with her, though,
Speaker 1: so it's like kind of nice that you get to
Speaker 1: see her out. I'm talking about the hot sauce I
Speaker 1: ate in my asshole is killing me. Yeah, yeah, that's
Speaker 1: that's what we were talking about. I know you guys
Speaker 1: were both I forgot that last night was your last
Speaker 1: night and you were here together. We went over the
Speaker 1: Whole Foods together as a as a threesome and um
Speaker 1: and and there was there was an air of sadness
Speaker 1: of like, this is she's leaving town. She's lived here
Speaker 1: for a while. She's not from here, but yeah she's
Speaker 1: lived here. I think like almost six or six to
Speaker 1: nine years. Yeah, somewhere around there. Yeah, it's a big range.
Speaker 1: How tall is she? Six or nine? Yeah, somewhere around there,
Speaker 1: about forty Dersey. Remember Beetlejuice, They Beetlejuice. He's from Howard.
Speaker 1: How tall are you? He was like about I don't
Speaker 1: know about seven five forty Jersey. Like he would just
Speaker 1: always the funniest one of the fucker and I sucked
Speaker 1: that up. But know his if you've never heard of
Speaker 1: beetle juice on Howard Stern, you've got to check out.
Speaker 1: Just go to YouTube and just crack up. Um at
Speaker 1: his the way he talks and how fast he thinks slow.
Speaker 1: I remember they were doing, uh we should play this
Speaker 1: game where you got to guess the word and the
Speaker 1: person gives you guess gives you the word was window
Speaker 1: and and Howard goes still um and he goes still
Speaker 1: cell phone. He's so cute. I wish him the best
Speaker 1: wherever he is somewhere he went back to school, got
Speaker 1: his MBA. I think, Uh, so sad day, sad day.
Speaker 1: We're driving to Chicago. Have you guys talked about I
Speaker 1: know she's like in the other room, she's here about it.
Speaker 1: She hasn't. Have you guys talked about um like leaving
Speaker 1: or or is it just like in the air because
Speaker 1: I didn't. I feel like I didn't even know she
Speaker 1: was leaving tomorrow, Like all of a sudden, you were like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: tomorrow I'm going to Chicago. I was like, oh tomorrow,
Speaker 1: she's moving like it was just like any other night.
Speaker 1: But I think that's because you don't want to focus
Speaker 1: so much on an end you just want to be
Speaker 1: in the present. Yeah, I'm not one to like be
Speaker 1: like she's you know, I could have had multiple rotations
Speaker 1: with how I'm feeling about her leaving and stuff, And
Speaker 1: obviously I didn't do that because you didn't even know
Speaker 1: she was leaving married a little talk when you were
Speaker 1: in the shower or pooping whatever when you were doing.
Speaker 1: But she she's amazing. We had a great little talk
Speaker 1: last night. She's just I haven't seen it for a
Speaker 1: few weeks since we spent that since I first fell
Speaker 1: in love with her a couple of weekends ago, and um,
Speaker 1: just reminded last night, like how much I'm going to
Speaker 1: miss her, and what like a a friend she has
Speaker 1: been to me, even in the tiny conversations we've had,
Speaker 1: and like how there's so much more of our friendship
Speaker 1: that I'd like to explore and that I'm going to
Speaker 1: get to explore. I hope, like I'll be friends with
Speaker 1: her forever I think and and know her and when
Speaker 1: I like connect with her whenever, I mean I I
Speaker 1: really I would have I honestly would have extended the
Speaker 1: invite to her at this point. She's that special. But
Speaker 1: last night I was saying, I go. I was, we
Speaker 1: were talking about your obsession with golf, and I go,
Speaker 1: it's interesting that his obsession really ramped up as soon
Speaker 1: as he found out you were moving. I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's I don't think it's a coincidence.
Speaker 1: I mean, you you definitely loved golf before you obsessed
Speaker 1: with it another time in your life. But I think
Speaker 1: it's nice that you are getting distracted by this thing
Speaker 1: that can fill the time when you might be thinking
Speaker 1: about her leaving or when she is gone and you
Speaker 1: have to fill the time like there's it was funny yesterday.
Speaker 1: I know it's funny to say that she was comforted
Speaker 1: by that. I think because you know, like you can
Speaker 1: be a little bit threatened by your boyfriend's new obsession.
Speaker 1: I go, honestly think it has everything to do with you. Well,
Speaker 1: I was leaving the range yesterday, and any golfer knows
Speaker 1: you think, or anyone that does something a lot to
Speaker 1: try to really get better at something, and you think
Speaker 1: you cracked the code and that you're on your way
Speaker 1: to be coming a hero. I literally three days ago
Speaker 1: thought I cracked the code on a swing where I
Speaker 1: literally was almost crying. I was almost crying on the range.
Speaker 1: People were looking at me like this guy, I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's about the golf swing or something else.
Speaker 1: Your fade. Yeah, I figured out my power fade. I
Speaker 1: was so fucking happy. And two days later I swear
Speaker 1: to god, I couldn't hit it to save my life.
Speaker 1: And I hit literally the yips, the yippie yips. And
Speaker 1: the more I tried, the more I tried to break
Speaker 1: it down, the less I tried to I tried everything.
Speaker 1: We're in a mood. Last night. It was like he
Speaker 1: was drenched in sweat. No, he hit six under golf
Speaker 1: balls last night. It was the second time he would wait,
Speaker 1: it was the first time. You are doing two days recently.
Speaker 1: I don't judge it at all because I am doing
Speaker 1: the same with guitar, like I I have get I'm
Speaker 1: getting new calluses and pains in my hands that are
Speaker 1: from overuse of like no one's supposed to play this much.
Speaker 1: Like my fingers are bleeding. You know me, I think,
Speaker 1: George Harrison, do you ever play one day and be like?
Speaker 1: Did I even um play for seven hours yesterday? And
Speaker 1: you know what, I've researched it enough that I know
Speaker 1: that there are days. And also it's related to comedy,
Speaker 1: Like I told you as soon as you said this,
Speaker 1: because last week Andrew's talking about going pro, which he
Speaker 1: obviously could do if he kept at it. It's it's
Speaker 1: without he definitely could go. I could play in like
Speaker 1: some off tournaments. Yeah, but you could like get I mean,
Speaker 1: you have the ability. We've seen it in this short
Speaker 1: amount of time, get so good that you're like really excited.
Speaker 1: So there's your naturally good You're an NBA, which I
Speaker 1: call a natural born athlete. But it just makes me
Speaker 1: sound like a dumb girl and be like there's such
Speaker 1: NBAS so, but you are. And I was like, you
Speaker 1: were so sad last night about like what had happened.
Speaker 1: You kind of told me, and I go, yeah, it's interesting,
Speaker 1: like you can go from I go do that with guitar.
Speaker 1: Like there's sometimes that I'm like, I could go pro
Speaker 1: whatever that means, and then there are other days where
Speaker 1: I'm like you should quit, and you go, I need
Speaker 1: to have less days where I tell myself I can
Speaker 1: go pro, And I said, no, don't do that, because
Speaker 1: that is actually right. You're right with the thing is pros.
Speaker 1: We'll always have days like you have no matter how
Speaker 1: good you get, because you know this as a comic
Speaker 1: that's been doing it, you're an elite comic, like you've
Speaker 1: been doing that long enough that you are one of
Speaker 1: the best. So you have days where you're like, I'm
Speaker 1: fucking Chappelle up here, I should have every hour special
Speaker 1: that they give out, like you kill in a way
Speaker 1: that is no one could argue you're the best at it,
Speaker 1: like one of the best up there, top shelf. And
Speaker 1: then you have set where you're one of the fucking worst.
Speaker 1: And I thought sets were literally I go quit comedy.
Speaker 1: You should never do it. Recently and I recently went
Speaker 1: on a TV show that I can't talk about where
Speaker 1: someone had a performance that was that wasn't as good
Speaker 1: as the other people that they were um like next to,
Speaker 1: and the person like had a meltdown because they were
Speaker 1: getting criticized for it a little bit like just being like, hey,
Speaker 1: it wasn't your best or whatever. And I felt like
Speaker 1: this person was going to go and cry and think
Speaker 1: they were the worst and be in that mindset. And
Speaker 1: I said, hold on here, because I knew exactly what
Speaker 1: that person was thinking. They're standing next to all their
Speaker 1: peers and they're thinking, I'm not as good as these people.
Speaker 1: I don't deserve to be up here with all these
Speaker 1: people that are better than me. And the truth is,
Speaker 1: I said, last night I was performing and I had
Speaker 1: a set. Did I say this? I go? I had
Speaker 1: a set that um the night before this show. I go.
Speaker 1: I just said last night, I'm I go, I'm the
Speaker 1: best comedian. They're like, I'm the best at what I do.
Speaker 1: I'm one of the best. Are no argument about it,
Speaker 1: And they all like clapped and we're like you are.
Speaker 1: And I was like, and I bombed last night. I
Speaker 1: just said that if you watched it, you wouldn't You
Speaker 1: wouldn't even know that I had ever done stand up.
Speaker 1: It was like I lost my place. I couldn't find
Speaker 1: it back. I was trying to win over the audience.
Speaker 1: I kept stumbling. And it's gonna keep happening no matter
Speaker 1: how good you get. So it is not about how
Speaker 1: good you are. It's that is always going to happen.
Speaker 1: So allow those moments to happen and forgive yourself. It's
Speaker 1: like one of those things though, it's like, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: the bomb hurts because you're like, I am good. There's
Speaker 1: something about I remember I did a comedy competition and
Speaker 1: I was going against people that were like, you know,
Speaker 1: three months in and it was like, you know, everyone
Speaker 1: does two minutes or whatever. And I fucking hated dick
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm so fucking bad, and I
Speaker 1: was like, no, these people are so naive and they
Speaker 1: have like these jokes that like work, but they're not
Speaker 1: like great, they're just and they just don't. Like you
Speaker 1: hit a golf ball and you don't play a lot,
Speaker 1: you just swing. You just swing, just like in in
Speaker 1: comedy sometimes like if you don't do it a lot
Speaker 1: and you don't know the failures or whatever, you just
Speaker 1: swing and now and now I like, well, I if
Speaker 1: I gotta swing like this because I'm like this, and
Speaker 1: I'm like that, and then you break everything down, like
Speaker 1: with guitar, I gotta play like because this is how
Speaker 1: John Mayer plays or this is how Taylor plays it exactly,
Speaker 1: and and maybe that will get it on the way
Speaker 1: of your strumming. Sometimes with um with guitar. I recently
Speaker 1: had a breakthrough with guitar to the same day you
Speaker 1: had your thing. I was like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: had one too. There's this part of an Indigo Girls
Speaker 1: song that I'm trying to learn that it's just like
Speaker 1: it's advanced. I even showed it to my dad and
Speaker 1: my dad goes, I go, how do you do this?
Speaker 1: And he goes, I think some guitars just can't do it.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, like, that's not an answer,
Speaker 1: and this she's playing the same kind of guitar. I am,
Speaker 1: how did she make those noises? And he's going, you're
Speaker 1: not hearing what I'm hearing, and I go, I know
Speaker 1: there's an extra note in there that she's hitting. How
Speaker 1: does she do it? And I finally just did it
Speaker 1: because instead of trying to watch her on YouTube in
Speaker 1: slow motion, I just listened and I go, how would
Speaker 1: you how would your body make this sound? And I
Speaker 1: swear to God, ever since I looked at the at
Speaker 1: the guitar as a percussive instrument, like Dave Girl said
Speaker 1: he approached it when he started playing after Nirvan and
Speaker 1: when he started playing guitar with for the Food Fighters,
Speaker 1: Uh lead, you know, he was like, I looked at
Speaker 1: it like drums, and it opened the guitar up to me.
Speaker 1: So I'm finding new ways to open it up to me.
Speaker 1: And there are some days where I'm like, I am
Speaker 1: so fucking good, I can't even believe it. My voice
Speaker 1: sounds amazing. I'm like, I'm ready to perform. I almost
Speaker 1: accepted a wedding gig the other day that my dad
Speaker 1: sent me a gig that they got asked to do.
Speaker 1: That was all Taylor Swift songs, obviously a Swifty getting married,
Speaker 1: and it was weird songs to One of them was
Speaker 1: a list of Affairs, which is about affairs. The other
Speaker 1: song was like they were all breakup songs, and I
Speaker 1: was like, this is weird wedding. Yeah, get ahead of it,
Speaker 1: or like try to tell your husband something that you
Speaker 1: can't tell him. Uh yeah, that's yeah, that's that's one
Speaker 1: of her head and um, but I like was in
Speaker 1: a good mood and I go, I go, dad, Um,
Speaker 1: I can do that. I'll do that gig. Just tell
Speaker 1: them I can only do like I'll give them all
Speaker 1: the Taylor Sift songs I know, and I'll do the gig.
Speaker 1: And it might be like maybe they're a fan of
Speaker 1: mine that they might like have some like if I suck,
Speaker 1: they'll still be like, oh it's Nicky Glazer playing it.
Speaker 1: So at least it's something, but UM, I realized, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that's what I want to do. I am
Speaker 1: um starting a Taylor Swift cover band with my sister.
Speaker 1: We're having our first band practice tomorrow. UM. I'm open
Speaker 1: to names that you could give us that are based
Speaker 1: upon like being sisters. Her name is Lauren, my name's
Speaker 1: NICKI UM that are also Taylor Swift tied in, so
Speaker 1: I will accept names. She plays keyboards. We both have
Speaker 1: been um like, uh, we didn't like playing music because
Speaker 1: my dad was too good at it and critical, so
Speaker 1: we both have never let ourselves explore this talent until
Speaker 1: we like became adults on our own. And UM told
Speaker 1: my dad to zip it it. And my dad is
Speaker 1: so sweet. He just doesn't understand why he's discouraged us.
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't get it. Only we're like, it's
Speaker 1: not just know that. We don't even know why. But
Speaker 1: we both have been terrified to play instruments and that's
Speaker 1: weird because we should like it, but there's something in
Speaker 1: I think it might beat you, Dad, but not in
Speaker 1: It's like when my dad. I golf with my dad
Speaker 1: and I instantly play worse because one I don't want
Speaker 1: to beat him uh. Subconsciously, I think you just don't
Speaker 1: want to beat your father, and you also don't think
Speaker 1: you could beat your father. No, you shouldn't. You shouldn't.
Speaker 1: Your dad should beat you. I always say that your
Speaker 1: dad should always be the one have a great joke
Speaker 1: that people always do, but it was it was one
Speaker 1: of my first jokes, and it was like, um, I
Speaker 1: love I love hanging out with my family. We still
Speaker 1: just do this thing every Friday night. We do family
Speaker 1: game night, and my dad always beats us if we win.
Speaker 1: He's a sore loser and we're sore winners in the end.
Speaker 1: I mean that's a pretty good joke and many players
Speaker 1: I might bring it back, but a lot of people
Speaker 1: have that like be me think of like like, uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: someone was asking me, and I think this is because
Speaker 1: comedians probably listening to this podcast. I was at the
Speaker 1: baseball Oh to tie back to the golfing real quick,
Speaker 1: I wanted to say so, I was so sad about
Speaker 1: not being losing my swing last night and not being
Speaker 1: able to figure it out. And to your point, like
Speaker 1: I think, if I'm hitting well, I'm not so sad
Speaker 1: about Brendon leaving. And then I was I hid so
Speaker 1: poorly yesterday, I'm driving home and literally about to cry
Speaker 1: and it's not and made me like my swing anymore
Speaker 1: to save me from being sad about her leaving with that, like, well,
Speaker 1: at least I got my swing. I don't even have
Speaker 1: my swing. The comedy thing, though, they go, well, how
Speaker 1: do you write jokes without um if if you know,
Speaker 1: because so many people write jokes out there, and then
Speaker 1: there's so much supply out there, how do you do
Speaker 1: things where you know will be uh original? And how
Speaker 1: do you answer that? Because I thought you start you
Speaker 1: could start broad where everythingone else you can start and
Speaker 1: then make it specific like you just know that the
Speaker 1: best way to check if a joke kind of like
Speaker 1: that like beat me. Like if I was looking at
Speaker 1: that joke to see if someone else had done it,
Speaker 1: I would just check Twitter. That's the closest place to check,
Speaker 1: because if a comedian has done it, someone stolen it
Speaker 1: from put it on Twitter at least and you'll see it,
Speaker 1: so you know. There was one joke that I remember
Speaker 1: my ex bloyfriend made that I thought was so funny
Speaker 1: that like Jesus is so fit, he must have done
Speaker 1: cross fit. Like I was like, oh my God, that's funny.
Speaker 1: It's such a good and I go, there's no way
Speaker 1: someone hasn't made that before. Even though that is brilliant
Speaker 1: on its own, it's parallel thought. He thought of it,
Speaker 1: and then also so many things on Twitter. But like
Speaker 1: so many jokes I've made in specials that I made
Speaker 1: the first time were have been thought of again in
Speaker 1: not because they saw my special. I never accused someone
Speaker 1: of stealing my jokes because like with the joke the
Speaker 1: game joke, I would say board, I would write in
Speaker 1: board game beat um bruise is or so I would
Speaker 1: I would I would connect those things to see if
Speaker 1: anyone and then I would try different things and see
Speaker 1: if anyone had made that connection um before. And what
Speaker 1: I would tell joke writers about that is that I
Speaker 1: know that you think your joke is original, but it's
Speaker 1: probably been done. But that doesn't mean that you can't
Speaker 1: still do it, because as long as you didn't steal
Speaker 1: from someone, it is still you can still do it.
Speaker 1: You'll someone will eventually tell you, hey, someone has that joke,
Speaker 1: and then you don't need to be embarrassed. No one
Speaker 1: thinks you stole it. Comedians understand there's parallel thought. I
Speaker 1: literally have stolen a joke from you. I've talked about
Speaker 1: this a lot. I saw Ali Wong perform one time
Speaker 1: at the Comedy Seller. I loved her set. A couple
Speaker 1: of weeks later, I was on stage. She's watching me
Speaker 1: this time, and I did her joke. We both have
Speaker 1: a joke about anal sex and yeah, and honestly it
Speaker 1: worked better for me. I thought, um, yeah, I said
Speaker 1: that when you have sex, it was something like, uh,
Speaker 1: you you like you at first are like no, and
Speaker 1: then it's like you let yourself get into it and
Speaker 1: you're like a whole new world. You're just like, you know, like, um,
Speaker 1: you know, what's it called Aladdin? And I said, the
Speaker 1: whole new world. She had done that and I and
Speaker 1: the thing is it came from a place that I
Speaker 1: didn't understand. I was like, where did that? I don't
Speaker 1: remember thinking that, but it just came out on stage
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh my god, that's kind of
Speaker 1: cool that I just thought of that. And I even
Speaker 1: thought came up with a funny line that was like,
Speaker 1: because after she goes a whole new world, he goes,
Speaker 1: don't you dare close your eyes? And I like the
Speaker 1: idea of a guy being like, don't you dear close
Speaker 1: your eyes? Like I said that after and I was like,
Speaker 1: because I was like, it's a whole new world. And
Speaker 1: he was like, don't you dear close your eyes? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm sorry, master, And so that ended up
Speaker 1: being different than allies. But I got off stage and
Speaker 1: Alie goes, hey, I, oh my god, I have that joke, uh,
Speaker 1: the whole New World, And I go, Alley, I stole
Speaker 1: that from I go. I was on stage and I thought,
Speaker 1: where did that come from? I just thought it. I
Speaker 1: go it was you, and I go, I am so sorry,
Speaker 1: and and I think I said to her at first,
Speaker 1: I go no. I think at first I thought it
Speaker 1: was mine or something. And I made the mistake of
Speaker 1: being like, I won't do it on TV. And then
Speaker 1: I was like, wait a second, why am I even
Speaker 1: saying I would do it? Ever? And then I wrote
Speaker 1: to her later being like, I'm so sorry. I only
Speaker 1: said TV, I will never do that. That is yours.
Speaker 1: I took it from you, even if I'm adding some
Speaker 1: floors at the end, that is not mine. And so
Speaker 1: it happens. You're definitely gonna write material that other people
Speaker 1: have written and Um, it's okay, yeah, yeah, all right,
Speaker 1: let's get to the news. We skipped it yesterday, apparently
Speaker 1: we did. First Hey, everybody, it's Mike. Oh. It's Mike Oh,
Speaker 1: mikel Cent talk from v I. I hope you have
Speaker 1: a great weekend. This weekend, I know it's very great,
Speaker 1: but so bad. It's pretty much third day, if you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, which is Saturday, and you're having
Speaker 1: a great time in all the swells because every day
Speaker 1: is the same day when you're here with the Nicky
Speaker 1: Glazer pot. I'm gonna is doing this podcast in person
Speaker 1: with you, Andrew, I'm not going to be we might
Speaker 1: be apart for a while. What do you mean. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just getting booked on some stuff that's
Speaker 1: calling my name. See. But the thing is that the
Speaker 1: podcast with us remote still work, and I could go
Speaker 1: to any city I want. I'm good with you. We're
Speaker 1: staying here and we're going on your swing and taking
Speaker 1: care of our coming to you that week. I'm going
Speaker 1: to be there. Yeah, yeah, you are, that's true. Um yeah,
Speaker 1: back to the news. Okay, five children under the age
Speaker 1: of ten. We're brought to a hospital from a barbecue
Speaker 1: after parents not as odd behavior the kids accidentally ingested
Speaker 1: unintended th HC gummies. I mean, look at this bag
Speaker 1: looks exactly like sour patch, but it says stoner patch,
Speaker 1: and the gummies have like like stoner faces on them.
Speaker 1: All these poor kids, they probably ate so much they
Speaker 1: look delicious. I mean, that's like a gun that like
Speaker 1: looks like a water gun. Yes it does. And um
Speaker 1: yet in there by the way, all these gummies are
Speaker 1: packaged in ways that you make you want to eat
Speaker 1: them like tie pots, and they're not tai pots, so
Speaker 1: you should not put them in your wash or eat them.
Speaker 1: And oh a child. I first of all, I would
Speaker 1: have loved I would have loved to see the first
Speaker 1: fifteen minutes of or like once they kicked in, I
Speaker 1: would have liked to see the first fifteen minutes. And
Speaker 1: I want to know what were the parents saying the
Speaker 1: kids were doing. Were they like they didn't get too
Speaker 1: into detail, They just said they observed weird behavior, So
Speaker 1: I would assume I would assume one of the kid's
Speaker 1: head was in the cake, another one was just laughing
Speaker 1: at the kids, and yeah, no, no, but it is funny,
Speaker 1: like one kid was getting a lot of work done
Speaker 1: in podcasting a lot, and it's like, oh, he's got
Speaker 1: that Nikki Glazer, Jean Mickey mantle pot makes them well
Speaker 1: edible edibles. Fuck you ups are so strong. Look at
Speaker 1: that package. But I mean, how much we're in each
Speaker 1: of those? No? What can you pull up that package again?
Speaker 1: I want a kid? Ten kids under the age of ten?
Speaker 1: Is that what we're dealing with? How many milligrams are those?
Speaker 1: I think those have got to be about five each?
Speaker 1: Five children under the agent and I'm guessing those five
Speaker 1: milligrams even one and what kid is going to eat
Speaker 1: just one gun? Five milligrams? Shut? Oh for the whole package?
Speaker 1: And how many are it means so they're five and
Speaker 1: they're um ten each or so there's ten of them,
Speaker 1: so they're all five milligrams. I'm guessing they were already open.
Speaker 1: I'm guessing the kids had between one and two of these,
Speaker 1: which is five milligrams. Is enough to make my My
Speaker 1: dad takes half half of five milligram and it's like
Speaker 1: I really had the best time in my life. Just
Speaker 1: that's a perfect amount for me. And he's six foot
Speaker 1: something and um, so these kids got left up. I
Speaker 1: mean it's funny, like you get high and you just
Speaker 1: turn into like a little kid, just like enjoying the
Speaker 1: world and these little past our patch. I would rather
Speaker 1: my kids do mushrooms than than edibles. Well, it's weird
Speaker 1: when you get high and you don't know you're gonna
Speaker 1: get high. So you know, there was a kid in college.
Speaker 1: This is pretty fucked up, but he he gave one
Speaker 1: of his roommate acid without telling him. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: he pulled in Ari Shafear. Oh yeah, pretty much yea,
Speaker 1: And the kid had no idea. He went he thought
Speaker 1: he was going. I mean, that's a lot I think
Speaker 1: is that people think that's just funny. And sometimes I
Speaker 1: just say, like that's going to be the way that
Speaker 1: I do it, you know, Like I was just you
Speaker 1: want to put ayahuasca in your coffee? Well, I was
Speaker 1: just talking to the guy. I'm talking to him bumble,
Speaker 1: and we were talking about, you know, meditation and all
Speaker 1: that stuff. And I've gotten away from tea. I used
Speaker 1: to do TM every day to treat my depression, and
Speaker 1: then the depression came back. I got it finally treated
Speaker 1: with um Pharmaceuticals, Big pharma, and now I'm really into hallucinogens,
Speaker 1: like I either want to you know, micro dose or
Speaker 1: um do LSD or you know ayahuasca and have these
Speaker 1: like I want to do an ego death. And I
Speaker 1: was talking about that, and like, I do think I'm
Speaker 1: so scared to have those experiences that Megan Fox talked
Speaker 1: about that I almost want someone to just like drug
Speaker 1: might I don't want it. I actually told Ari Safire
Speaker 1: on Joe Rogan's podcast. I like said to Aria go,
Speaker 1: you have permission to try to drug or something like that,
Speaker 1: he said, And so I have not. I have not
Speaker 1: been around him. Uh ever, I just I think it's
Speaker 1: a really cruel thing to do, obviously, but not if
Speaker 1: you're asking for it. The first time you ever got stoned,
Speaker 1: do you remember the day and the whole build up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we called it Debbie, our friend Debbie. I have all
Speaker 1: the notes to prove it. We were like, who can
Speaker 1: get us Debbie. We were like writing about it, Katie
Speaker 1: rap I'm not gonna say, Katie, Katie, there were some
Speaker 1: people that could get us, Debbie. It was freshman year
Speaker 1: of high school. We um smoked it with my friend
Speaker 1: Ofny and Kristen and Kirsten down in the creek in
Speaker 1: our subdivision that my parents still live in. We went home. Kirsten, um,
Speaker 1: I remember a motorcycle pulled up, Like we heard a
Speaker 1: motorcycle and we were all like smoking behind. It wasn't
Speaker 1: actually in the creek yet, we were behind like the
Speaker 1: subdivision sign, this big giant like, uh, you know, one
Speaker 1: of those big stone work signs. We were behind it.
Speaker 1: There's bushes and on at the intersection that it was
Speaker 1: a car pulled up, but it was a motorcycle and
Speaker 1: we were all like giggling, being like and um, I
Speaker 1: was like, it's a car, and Criston goes, no, it's
Speaker 1: a motorcycle. It's live And we thought it was so
Speaker 1: funny that, like we all knew what she meant live man.
Speaker 1: But then we went home. We were so stoned. We
Speaker 1: ate a bunch of but I was in control. This
Speaker 1: happens a lot with me, Like when I did mushrooms
Speaker 1: with a friend of mine recently, I saw her getting
Speaker 1: sucked up and I wanted to take care of her.
Speaker 1: So I just didn't let myself get as high, and
Speaker 1: I took care of everyone and I went home. We
Speaker 1: made Tostino's pizzas the oven at the time. We were like,
Speaker 1: we were patient. I guess we watched TV cursed. We
Speaker 1: all went in my room because they were behaving two
Speaker 1: erratically that I would thought my parents were gonna catch on.
Speaker 1: So we went in my room. We were giggling so much.
Speaker 1: Kursten went in my bathroom. We've swear to God, the
Speaker 1: shower turned on, she said. She claimed it didn't. Um,
Speaker 1: and that was the first time we smoked out with Yeah,
Speaker 1: the shower was live. Um. Yeah, that was the first time.
Speaker 1: But we really it's interesting it didn't it didn't work.
Speaker 1: Pen Bien with like, dude, we're I mean, we're weird
Speaker 1: our lives. I smoked out of a shampoo bottle. So
Speaker 1: we both smoked out of plastic the first time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think most people do. Man, I've smoked out of
Speaker 1: plastic stuff in it, Like everything is I mean what
Speaker 1: I smoke out of. Now I'm breathing in sometimes I
Speaker 1: you know, it goes through the pipe too quickly and
Speaker 1: I breathe in just the lighter fluid of the lighter
Speaker 1: and it's like, this is disgusting, Like this is not
Speaker 1: good in any way. And thank you so much to
Speaker 1: everyone who wrote to me about not having shame about pot,
Speaker 1: and I'm really like it helped me so much, it's
Speaker 1: continuing to help me. But um, yeah, it's it's gross.
Speaker 1: I remember smoking out of a red bull can with
Speaker 1: a very famous comedian who at the time I was
Speaker 1: opening for him, and he was like, yeah, I smoke
Speaker 1: pot and I was like, great, let's hang out. We
Speaker 1: went to seven an elevent. We got a red bull
Speaker 1: He was like, I have pop, but I don't have
Speaker 1: anything smoke out of. Let's get a red bull can.
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, he knew how to make one.
Speaker 1: You dent it and make a little thing. It's so
Speaker 1: this is a story I tell on stage sometimes. But
Speaker 1: he smoked out the red bull can. We we got
Speaker 1: high behind a seven eleven. He was not a comedian
Speaker 1: that was like trying to creep on me or anything.
Speaker 1: We were just having fun. It was so awesome. What
Speaker 1: a fun weekend that was cut to like twelve years later.
Speaker 1: I'm like hanging out with this comedian at the comedy
Speaker 1: seller and I'm like, dude, I got some weed. Do
Speaker 1: you smoke still smoke weed? I remember working with you
Speaker 1: in Virginia Beach and like we smoked weed together and
Speaker 1: he goes yeah, yeah I do. Oh my god, yes
Speaker 1: of course. And I go, I go, let's I go.
Speaker 1: I remember you were the first person and I think
Speaker 1: the only time that we smoked out of a red
Speaker 1: Bull can, which doesn't think because you're like inhaling luminum,
Speaker 1: like that was so crazy. And he goes, oh, that's
Speaker 1: what I still use. I was like, I go, really,
Speaker 1: that's really bad. He's like an adult with children, and
Speaker 1: I go that's bad and he goes, yeah, actually, um,
Speaker 1: I kind of only can and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're addicted to aluminium, buddy, Like that's that he had
Speaker 1: the realization. They're like, he goes, yeah, sometimes I don't
Speaker 1: even need weed in it. No, you didn't say that,
Speaker 1: but it's like, literally is addicted to aluminium at this point,
Speaker 1: So watch out out there. And someone actually just wrote
Speaker 1: to me about energy drinks and said that they have
Speaker 1: found that they have sores on their tongues and they
Speaker 1: tongue and now they know what it's coming from. So
Speaker 1: um yeah, I would switch to something Lacroix after you
Speaker 1: get ramped up. Next news story, I love that one.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, those kids have a tale to tell. Uh.
Speaker 1: Study finds that more than two thirds of all romantic
Speaker 1: relationships begin as friendships. Those numbers were even higher among
Speaker 1: people in their twenties than people who identified as LGB
Speaker 1: t Q. With about couples beginning as friends, Wow, well
Speaker 1: can I I wonder though when that friendship starts, if
Speaker 1: one or both parties is just friends too. Well, that
Speaker 1: made me think about, um, not giving up the vagiant,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, but not giving up the vagina. But
Speaker 1: the girls not even cognizant of the fact that they're
Speaker 1: holding out the vagina from the guy, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So it's like it's building up, maybe not
Speaker 1: like on the surface, but you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: like he want Essentially, how the best way to get
Speaker 1: a guy to like you is to not if so
Speaker 1: everyone likes to chase everyone, no one doesn't like what
Speaker 1: the chase, and at some point you've got to give
Speaker 1: it up. And that's after you've they've fallen in love
Speaker 1: with you. You can kind of let down your guard
Speaker 1: and be more vulnerable. But honestly, Noah, even in my
Speaker 1: own relationships right now that I'm kind of like toying with,
Speaker 1: I've seen how well it works to not let them
Speaker 1: in your vagina and how it can transform someone to
Speaker 1: to looking at you in a way that is truly like,
Speaker 1: respectful and loving and like. And I am so scared
Speaker 1: to ever let someone in my vagina ever again, because
Speaker 1: might go away like I'm too scared. But is any
Speaker 1: part of you going you're giving? Look, I think it's
Speaker 1: are you giving the vagina too much credit for this?
Speaker 1: And I'm not I'm not trying to hate on it,
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying, the guy in question could be
Speaker 1: more ready now, He could be more understanding of you,
Speaker 1: could be more empathetic for you for for a myriad
Speaker 1: of reasons as well as not being able to be
Speaker 1: allowed in your vagina. But are you giving the vagina
Speaker 1: mirrored of reasons? I said, a mere con, a mirror cat,
Speaker 1: a mere cat um. First of all, a myriad. Everyone
Speaker 1: always says a myriad of reasons, And I just said,
Speaker 1: doubt it's myriad reasons. It's like myriad is like the adjective.
Speaker 1: It's like myriad reasons. It's not a myriad of which
Speaker 1: is I think that's right. We can look it up later.
Speaker 1: But anyway, like I've heard that many so you're giving
Speaker 1: me too much And you're right though, Andrew like a
Speaker 1: person that I might be like getting all of this
Speaker 1: from because I feel like it's because I'm withholding my vagina.
Speaker 1: It might be because of any other things that might
Speaker 1: be at play, however, the fact that I haven't let
Speaker 1: this person in my vagina and how much they talk
Speaker 1: about that fact and are turned on by that fact
Speaker 1: and reference it and are not like frustrated but like
Speaker 1: really like I think it's And by the way, I'm
Speaker 1: not doing at this point, I'm as soon as I'm
Speaker 1: ready to let anyone be like my boyfriend and like
Speaker 1: committed to me and like let's move forward, I won't
Speaker 1: have any problem letting them in because I will know
Speaker 1: if i'm if I'm still debating, it means it's not ready.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready. But as soon as I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: I want this and I feel safe, I will do it.
Speaker 1: But I know right now that it's not bad for him.
Speaker 1: He's enjoying. He's still he's really enjoying. And honestly, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I might try a relationship where it never
Speaker 1: takes place. It's a good birth control. Um it uh,
Speaker 1: it keeps like it keeps it. So there's always like
Speaker 1: this thing that will keep it spicy and honeymoon phase
Speaker 1: of like I can't have all of her and um,
Speaker 1: it's just really it's it's been the one of the
Speaker 1: hottest things in my life to not have vaginal sex.
Speaker 1: I guess for me, I have fingers and everything else
Speaker 1: in there. Yes, I think, uh yeah, so you're the
Speaker 1: vagina is still being played around. Uh. My only thing though,
Speaker 1: is like if I had a dog, right, Granted I'm
Speaker 1: comparing a man to a dog, which isn't far off. Um,
Speaker 1: but and the dog only came to me and loved
Speaker 1: me if I was withholding food, not because of the love.
Speaker 1: I give the dog the petting, and I give the
Speaker 1: dog the walks. I give the dog just the relationship.
Speaker 1: These mirroad of other factors. If you will, uh, then
Speaker 1: I'd just be worried that, oh, they only just want
Speaker 1: the food. And it's like a mirror a myriad of food.
Speaker 1: Myriad food. Yeah, mirrion, your dog, ye, marrion, myriad marian mirrors. Okay,
Speaker 1: I hear you're saying. Can I say that, Um, I
Speaker 1: don't ever feel like Uh. The thing is it's subconscious
Speaker 1: and men don't even realize that that is Uh, you
Speaker 1: know what it. You know what it is. No, let
Speaker 1: me let me take this because I see you chomping
Speaker 1: at the bed and I think I know. What I
Speaker 1: want to say about the book getting to I do,
Speaker 1: which is all based on, is that, yes, it's telling
Speaker 1: you to withhold sex from men and in in an
Speaker 1: effort and by doing that they will like you more
Speaker 1: just as as it happens because of it. But what
Speaker 1: the book is really teaching you to do is not
Speaker 1: to trick a man into loving you. That's like my
Speaker 1: joke eats. What I say about the book and how
Speaker 1: I used to view it was like, don't be yourself
Speaker 1: so you can get a man. But what it teaches
Speaker 1: you to do is to respect your body and to
Speaker 1: respect the things that you that your subconscious mind that
Speaker 1: you can't control, Like you think you have, girls think
Speaker 1: they have men, and women think they have control over
Speaker 1: their emotions, and the truth is you don't, and you
Speaker 1: have to. You have to respect the fact that your
Speaker 1: body is biology really wired to get very connected to
Speaker 1: someone who goes in your vagina. So just respect your
Speaker 1: vagina and then when you don't let a man into
Speaker 1: your vagina until he has earned it, until you feel safe,
Speaker 1: until you feel everything in your soul is confident, and
Speaker 1: you can never be sure. Obviously you can might be
Speaker 1: doing all these things just to get the vagina. Then
Speaker 1: once he gets to vagina, it was all of Then
Speaker 1: you then you learn from that because that's happened to
Speaker 1: me before. But it was because I didn't actually do
Speaker 1: it right. I was withholding to get something and I
Speaker 1: wasn't withholding because I respected myself like that. And you
Speaker 1: know what he's you know, what he's responding to is
Speaker 1: not the fact that I won't let him in my pussy.
Speaker 1: It's he's fun to the fact that he knows no
Speaker 1: man will ever get in my pussy. I respect myself
Speaker 1: enough that not only because I'm not letting him in, no,
Speaker 1: he knows no one will, and that I am a
Speaker 1: woman that unless I am treated like a fucking queen,
Speaker 1: you're not getting that. And it's just and when you
Speaker 1: demand respect. I've been talking about f boys so much
Speaker 1: Fby Island. Everyone goes, what, tell me what you learned
Speaker 1: about FAY, and I go The only deterrent, the kryptonite
Speaker 1: for an f boy. They can they can trick you
Speaker 1: in in myriad ways. The only deterrent is a woman
Speaker 1: who truly respects herself, doesn't fake respect herself, which I
Speaker 1: was doing forever, truly thinks she is a prize and
Speaker 1: that this guy needs to earn her. And when you
Speaker 1: have that and when you truly believe it, which by
Speaker 1: the way, is not easy to come by, and it
Speaker 1: is not something that you can just like say, like
Speaker 1: you know, I've been saying, like I hate this like
Speaker 1: fake body positivity and self image positivity where it's like
Speaker 1: put a sticker on your mirror that says you go girl,
Speaker 1: And when you look at yourself in the mirror and
Speaker 1: and you want to say and hold your fat, go
Speaker 1: no you're hot, like that bullshit, unless you believe it,
Speaker 1: don't fucking do that stuff. Okay, just be nicer to yourself,
Speaker 1: but like, don't, don't. This stuff is just I hate
Speaker 1: all these women that are pretending like they've accepted their
Speaker 1: bodies and are forcing everyone to feel shame about the
Speaker 1: fact that they haven't yet. Because it's a long process
Speaker 1: that takes so long, And if you're interested in my process,
Speaker 1: you can always DM me and I'll go into more detail.
Speaker 1: But because I have actually achieved it, that is the
Speaker 1: thing that has changed for me, is that I think
Speaker 1: when when when this guy sees me naked and he goes,
Speaker 1: you're so fucking hot, I just go. I don't go
Speaker 1: like thank you like I used to go, like thank you.
Speaker 1: I love when you say that, blah blah. I just go,
Speaker 1: I know, I know, like because I know I am
Speaker 1: so fucking hot, he's so lucky to be with me.
Speaker 1: He's also so hot. But like I I say, I
Speaker 1: know in a way that isn't like I know, It's
Speaker 1: like I'm just like I know, I thank you for
Speaker 1: seeing it. Like it's not like, oh good now I'm
Speaker 1: hot because you said it. It's like, thank you for
Speaker 1: saying what I already deep down know, and I would
Speaker 1: know it even if I was fucking like if I'm
Speaker 1: and I don't want to say this negatively, if I'm fat,
Speaker 1: if I'm old, if I'm age, spotty, tired looking, I'm
Speaker 1: fucking hot because I am. I just am. My spirit
Speaker 1: is hot, and I just this guy recently has been
Speaker 1: so obsessed with my looks. The guy that I'm hooking
Speaker 1: up with that I'm not having sex with, he is
Speaker 1: so he looked said me like I'm gezelp and really
Speaker 1: feel like I'm in the movie I Feel pretty, where
Speaker 1: Amy Schumer sees herself as a hot like as Emily Rodazowski.
Speaker 1: Almost in the mirror. That is what he sees when
Speaker 1: he looks at me. When I look like horrid hell,
Speaker 1: He's like, I just can't believe how hot you are.
Speaker 1: Yesterday he pulled an old I D out of a box.
Speaker 1: I have an old I D. He was just like
Speaker 1: reading through this box. He pulled out this like driver's license,
Speaker 1: an old one, and I look like I have brown hair.
Speaker 1: I'm like, smile, I no makeup. It's a licensed photo,
Speaker 1: and he goes, God, I just I fucking love this
Speaker 1: face and this guy I he he is. He doesn't
Speaker 1: realize what he's doing, but he's telling me, this guy
Speaker 1: loves This guy is so in love with me. It's
Speaker 1: not because I look hot there, and like anyone would
Speaker 1: say that was a great picture of me. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not so bad for a license photo. But it
Speaker 1: was just like, this guy loves me now because I
Speaker 1: love myself and he couldn't before. This guy was not
Speaker 1: capable of loving me for not because he wasn't capable
Speaker 1: of it. Maybe it was that, but was because I
Speaker 1: didn't like myself. I really didn't. And if you are
Speaker 1: out there and you don't like yourself doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: you should break up with whoever you're with that says
Speaker 1: they love you. That's not what I'm saying, um, but
Speaker 1: it really is the missing ingredient. And I will be
Speaker 1: fine without a man or with one, for the rest
Speaker 1: of my life because I actually love myself a lot.
Speaker 1: Next story, Megan Fox reveals that she doesn't drink anymore
Speaker 1: because she had too much champagne nine Golden Globes and
Speaker 1: became belligerent and said a bunch of ship. So she
Speaker 1: drink too much champagne. Listen to these quotes that she
Speaker 1: said on the red carpet. They ask her, where's your husband,
Speaker 1: where's your you know, baby daddy bro And she goes,
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to be here, he's he has he's
Speaker 1: a male ego and he wanted to stay home. And
Speaker 1: what did she say? It's pretty much that right. I
Speaker 1: was like, this bitch is awesome and she's just being honest. Yeah.
Speaker 1: She also compared herself to Alan Alda, which whatever she
Speaker 1: said something about being a tranny because they in two
Speaker 1: thou nine that word still kind of being tossed around,
Speaker 1: and she was wasted, and she was probably tired of
Speaker 1: being like said, she looks hot all the time, and
Speaker 1: she was just like, I look like a kind of
Speaker 1: like a man today, or like I look I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm wearing so much makeup. I feel like maybe
Speaker 1: a man. Like I feel like a fraud. Is probably
Speaker 1: what she was saying, because sometimes I have said that
Speaker 1: where I feel like I'm um uh, either like a
Speaker 1: drag queen or like a transsexual, because I feel like
Speaker 1: my soul is so masculine and like I'm wearing all
Speaker 1: this makeup and I feel like, uh, I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm lying about who I or that I'm I'm deceiving
Speaker 1: about who I really am or something. So I think
Speaker 1: she meant that. People I think have forgiven her for that,
Speaker 1: but her agents got so mad at her and we're like,
Speaker 1: you can never do that again. I can't believe this
Speaker 1: didn't make more headlines. She literally said, she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to be here. You know, he's a
Speaker 1: man with an ego. Brian doesn't want to be here.
Speaker 1: He doesn't want to be my date. He's a man,
Speaker 1: he has an ego. I think he's probably working on music.
Speaker 1: I don't think he cares. The music line is so
Speaker 1: beautiful in like, yeah, his little music, Like there's so
Speaker 1: much hatred. Yeah, they got in a huge fight for
Speaker 1: this was the precursor. This is what you're talking about
Speaker 1: when people start doing jokes about their relationship their partner.
Speaker 1: She was just being honest years before they broke up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean, well she was wasted and so
Speaker 1: and I love that she had. That was her bottom was,
Speaker 1: like I said, stup on the red carpet. That's going
Speaker 1: to hurt my career, probably really upset my husband, who
Speaker 1: I actually do respect his music, because she probably did,
Speaker 1: and she was probably just annoyed that night. I feel like,
Speaker 1: though I don't know me, part of me thinks like
Speaker 1: she was maybe hated him so obviously I just think
Speaker 1: she had a bad night with him. But just hear
Speaker 1: me out. He failed as a musician, he did, he
Speaker 1: put out an album, it didn't work well. Obviously always
Speaker 1: wanted to be a white rapper, and then obviously they
Speaker 1: had issues in their marriage and she decided to be
Speaker 1: with a white rapper. I see a coincidence, That's all
Speaker 1: I'm saying. No, I mean like that that is interesting.
Speaker 1: I didn't know he had tried to do rap, but like,
Speaker 1: also he I just see I have done this before
Speaker 1: where I've lashed out in like interviews and taken out
Speaker 1: my aggression towards a man uh like this, and I
Speaker 1: was drunk with like anger or whatever it was, or
Speaker 1: I was just drunk, and I've done it, and I
Speaker 1: think that can be excused. I don't think this was
Speaker 1: the beginning of the end for them, because I bet
Speaker 1: she could do this to mg K to like I'm
Speaker 1: sure they have arguments where he's choosing something over her,
Speaker 1: and like, I think this was just her realizing that
Speaker 1: when she gets drunk, the truth might come out. But
Speaker 1: it's a truth that she wouldn't It's it's not he
Speaker 1: when people go when I get drunk, I tell the truth.
Speaker 1: It's like yes, but you also don't honor how much
Speaker 1: you love people and respecting their privacy, which is also
Speaker 1: part of your truth. So I like that she got
Speaker 1: sober after this. I was really inspired by that. I
Speaker 1: wonder if she's still smoke spot. I'm guessing she does
Speaker 1: because mg K is a huge donor, but I would
Speaker 1: like to know, and I'm gonna be friends with Bag
Speaker 1: and Fox someday, Andrew, Let's get to our sports moment.
Speaker 1: Let's here's Andrew's weekly supports moment. That's maybe one of
Speaker 1: my most proud voice over moments in my life. It's
Speaker 1: just like every time I go that is. I just
Speaker 1: recently released an F Boy Island thing, whereas F Boys
Speaker 1: in the Wild. I couldn't even listen to it yesterday.
Speaker 1: I put it on my story if you go to
Speaker 1: the F Boy Island Instagram. I did this whole like
Speaker 1: F Boys in the wild. They're a rare species, and
Speaker 1: I did all this boys before and I worked so
Speaker 1: hard on it, and then I heard the first line
Speaker 1: of it and I was just like, oh, you flubbed this, bitch,
Speaker 1: And I couldn't listen to the rest. So go listen
Speaker 1: to that and tell me I'm wrong. But I thought
Speaker 1: it fit the theme of what you were saying. I
Speaker 1: thought it was very good it what was it funny? Noh? Yes,
Speaker 1: because it went along with like the whole premise of
Speaker 1: that video. Okay, Okay, I'm so glad. All right, maybe
Speaker 1: I'll watch it. My assistant Jen goes, I'll watch everything
Speaker 1: for you that you don't want to watch. I'll be like,
Speaker 1: you know how certain kings have people try things to
Speaker 1: eat things before they eats not poisoned. So she's gonna
Speaker 1: watch everything I do to make sure it's not poisoned
Speaker 1: and be like, no, you need to see this, or
Speaker 1: you don't watch this thing. And then she dies. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she dies from watching me on the view? Is that what? No?
Speaker 1: But I'm sure it will happen soon. They're looking to
Speaker 1: replace machine Gun Kelly. What's her name, Megan Megan McCain.
Speaker 1: The original Space Jam director J just build this one.
Speaker 1: He bashed the News Space Jam and Lebron in the
Speaker 1: News Space Jam because he said that, you know, with
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan. First of all, that movie SPA was based
Speaker 1: upon Michael Jordan's Uh, he went to baseball, and like
Speaker 1: the whole movie was shaped around Michael Jordan's departure from
Speaker 1: basketball to baseball, So Lebron filling in it didn't really
Speaker 1: make sense, even though I would argue him going from
Speaker 1: Cleveland to Miami was kind of like a departure that
Speaker 1: he got a lot of flak four um, so I
Speaker 1: think that that's in similar vein. This guy also hasn't
Speaker 1: done a lot of work since then. He was probably
Speaker 1: excited to do an interview. I'm guessing this guy had
Speaker 1: a few cocktails before he did this interview because he
Speaker 1: throws Lebron under the bus. Have has I loved the
Speaker 1: first Space Jam. I don't remember anything about it, but
Speaker 1: I think I would be He said, bugs Bunny looks terrible.
Speaker 1: The director said that, Um he said that? What other?
Speaker 1: I mean, like well that, like the supporting cast was
Speaker 1: way better in the first one. He's just of course,
Speaker 1: he was the director and he didn't get asked back
Speaker 1: for this one. I thought it was so funny, though,
Speaker 1: that he was so blatantly honest, because you never hear
Speaker 1: anyone trashing these big movies. I think he definitely had.
Speaker 1: I think he was drunk. I'm not joking you. When
Speaker 1: I heard this, I go, this guy is either drunk
Speaker 1: with anger, but he's I think he doesn't. I don't
Speaker 1: know what. He's worked on a lot since then. I
Speaker 1: like this guy because I like that he was honest,
Speaker 1: Like you're saying, Noah, but I think that and no
Speaker 1: one trashes I mean Lebron does get trashed by like
Speaker 1: people who are and he gets compared to Michael Jordan's
Speaker 1: all the time and he was asking for it and
Speaker 1: doing a remake of Space Jam, So who care? But
Speaker 1: I think this is just getting a lot of pressed
Speaker 1: because this guy like really went hard and like most
Speaker 1: of the time these interviews are so innocuously like pleasant
Speaker 1: and commentary that you would never even he definitely has
Speaker 1: a chip on his shoulder for a myriad of reasons.
Speaker 1: Um wait, wait, let's try to get right. He has
Speaker 1: a chip on a shoulder for what mirrored reasons? Myriad reasons?
Speaker 1: Good job, I could be wrong about this, by the way,
Speaker 1: you never are, so I um, I just love that
Speaker 1: they compare, like these basketball people. They love comparing Lebron
Speaker 1: versus Michael Jordan's Michael Jordan's versus Kobe, you know, and
Speaker 1: no matter what, and so there's a movie and so
Speaker 1: now this guy's like Lebron's acting skills, there's nothing compared,
Speaker 1: Like they could be like literally wiping their ass and
Speaker 1: be like, no, Michael Jordan's Michael Jordan wipes his ass
Speaker 1: up and down and gives a sick assist to his
Speaker 1: balls at the same time more than Lebron. Like this
Speaker 1: like feeling of like they're both incredible, Like why are
Speaker 1: we are? Queen like, what is it? Why? Why? Because
Speaker 1: what do you need for someone to have to be
Speaker 1: right about the top five? I think, Andrew, I think
Speaker 1: it's a it's human nature to compare and to crown
Speaker 1: a winner. It's definitely American to say winner loser, because
Speaker 1: we don't like things just being the way they are
Speaker 1: and accepting people for what they're able to give in
Speaker 1: the moment. And I think that, you know, even when
Speaker 1: you're on a show with other comedians, there will always
Speaker 1: be on the way out, people will go, I liked
Speaker 1: the first guy, the second guy, blah blah blah, then
Speaker 1: this she wasn't as good as I like. Everyone has
Speaker 1: to rate things, even me, Like after a movie when
Speaker 1: I'm walking out, I go, you know, that wasn't as
Speaker 1: good as the last one. I liked to better than this.
Speaker 1: It's like, you just gotta rank. We love it. And
Speaker 1: you know what, Lebron is worth so much money and
Speaker 1: does so many and he does really good things for
Speaker 1: the world, and so did Michael Jordan's I think and like,
Speaker 1: I love these And Kobe, of course, was like watching
Speaker 1: that Naomi Osaka documentary. She was like friends with Kobe
Speaker 1: and he reached out to her to like help her,
Speaker 1: and I would I get emotional just thinking about it
Speaker 1: because he just seemed I didn't really know how like
Speaker 1: involved he was in like young women's sports, not just
Speaker 1: for his daughter, but like to reach out to this
Speaker 1: young twenty year old tennis superstar and to give her
Speaker 1: advice about the game, and just he was also you know,
Speaker 1: he grew up in Europe outside of America, you know,
Speaker 1: both being you know, African America outside of I guess,
Speaker 1: I guess they're not African Americal. It was gone and
Speaker 1: I really didn't remember. We were on the train and
Speaker 1: I go and I wrote it was it was the
Speaker 1: first It was the first gig after banging out to
Speaker 1: It was January. We were coming back from Connecticut, I think,
Speaker 1: and you we pulled into Penn Station and I was
Speaker 1: like waking up in the dark Penn Station, like the
Speaker 1: Amtrak polls and it's like all dark and it was
Speaker 1: in the morning, and you were like, Kobe Bryant is dead,
Speaker 1: and I was like, wait it, yeah, those moments that
Speaker 1: like where were you? I remember that one, But I
Speaker 1: just want to stay with the Kobe thing, like um,
Speaker 1: I was thinking yesterday. Kobe was right before COVID like
Speaker 1: you know that was like he never experienced COVID. I
Speaker 1: don't know why that stuck out to me of like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like this whole thing happened that he
Speaker 1: never Not that that doesn't mean anything, but it's just
Speaker 1: weird that that, like this thing we've been living with
Speaker 1: that seems like the most like crazy thing that's ever
Speaker 1: happened to any of us. Besides I would say September
Speaker 1: leven and then COVID have been the two big American
Speaker 1: things maybe jfk assassination, landing on the moon, but like
Speaker 1: Kobe missed one of those, and he seems like such
Speaker 1: a part of the same thing about mac Miller for
Speaker 1: some reason, Yeah, like why is that they missed COVID?
Speaker 1: Like why would we want them to see it? I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess I'm always like, what would they have said?
Speaker 1: Let's get to fan tracks. I'm gonna be honest with
Speaker 1: you guys. We taped an episode ester day that is
Speaker 1: all fan threaks. It was we went through all of
Speaker 1: our mail and tried to like empty it out because
Speaker 1: we are kind of behind on it. We get so
Speaker 1: many messages. So that is upcoming on the show is
Speaker 1: a whole episode dedicated to your uh, your thoughts about
Speaker 1: the show and questions and concerns and um advice. It
Speaker 1: was fun as fun and I love the sec Yeah,
Speaker 1: so let's get into fan threats. We do have a
Speaker 1: new theme song brought to you by Noah and her fiance,
Speaker 1: AV who is from a metal band. Right, yes, let's
Speaker 1: play it first and then talk about it. Featured in
Speaker 1: Oh my God, Wow, that sounds like your asshole after
Speaker 1: you had a little bit of tabasco the night before.
Speaker 1: That was how do you even make your voice do that?
Speaker 1: That was Afi, by the way, from the band What
Speaker 1: what band was he in? That was featured in VP.
Speaker 1: The band is called McGruder Grind m ruder Grind. We
Speaker 1: have a professional metal singer, Noah's fiance av He He
Speaker 1: was also in the movie. In the show Veep season one.
Speaker 1: I forget which episode Dan and Jonah go to a
Speaker 1: um A concert together because I think Dan's trying to
Speaker 1: become friends with Jonah too, Brian, some kind of bribe
Speaker 1: is happening. They go to a metal show and it's
Speaker 1: Av is the singer that AUV. Noah's fiance has been
Speaker 1: in my favorite show, and now we have that guy
Speaker 1: from veep Auvi. What's his last name? Call Away, call Avi,
Speaker 1: call Away Future, Noah call Away is his feet is
Speaker 1: now our fan Trax theme songs, So thank you so
Speaker 1: much for that. You'll be hearing that weekly on Thursdays
Speaker 1: and for our upcoming uh All Fan Trax episode that
Speaker 1: will be out next week. So let's get to the
Speaker 1: fan Trax. Let's see what you guys are thinking about
Speaker 1: the show and about yourselves and a life. No uh
Speaker 1: read it for us? Okay, So this this came into
Speaker 1: our Instagram account. Um Nikki Glizer, pod Hi Nikki, Hi, Nikki,
Speaker 1: Andrew and Noah Nikki. I just wanted to say thank
Speaker 1: you for mentioning your parents canceled trip to Greece because
Speaker 1: of your dad's passport that was close to being expired.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, my husband and I have a trip
Speaker 1: to the Maldives Soka, I know coming up, and because
Speaker 1: of your podcast, I looked into the passport rules and
Speaker 1: it turns out his passport expiration would have put us
Speaker 1: in the same position as your parents. Wow. I never
Speaker 1: would have looked into this if it weren't for your
Speaker 1: show and the unfortunate experience your parents had. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: For them. But I'm so thankful that I found out
Speaker 1: and we have enough time to renew my husband's passport
Speaker 1: prior to our trip. Guys, Jen, I'll answer this as
Speaker 1: Julia Glazer. Jen, goddamn it. You know when Nikki told
Speaker 1: me that something good would happen because e J and
Speaker 1: I got detained in Germany for goddamn seven hours, I thought, honestly, Jen,
Speaker 1: I thought we weren't going to get out of there,
Speaker 1: and you know what, e J had to bring these
Speaker 1: goddamn pot gummies that were in the bag the whole time.
Speaker 1: They wouldn't let me get my luggage. I thought, we
Speaker 1: are going to get end up in you know, interpoll
Speaker 1: is gonna be called. We're not going to get out
Speaker 1: of here. God damn it. We didn't get to eat
Speaker 1: no one's there's one nice guy. I thought, you know what,
Speaker 1: there isn't anything good going to come of this, NICKI
Speaker 1: said there would. But now Jen, I know you you're
Speaker 1: gonna have something's gonna happen to the Maldives that is
Speaker 1: going to be amazing for you, God damn it, and
Speaker 1: I can't wait for it. And you know what, Nick,
Speaker 1: You're right. Good things do happen out of bad things.
Speaker 1: And um, jen, I hope that something you experienced in
Speaker 1: the Maldives goes wrong so that it can help someone else. Um,
Speaker 1: isn't it Maldives? I I really, I definitely I think
Speaker 1: it's mal Dives. I think you're herd No is a
Speaker 1: Maldives And no, she said mal Dives. No, she said Maldives.
Speaker 1: Definitely said mal Dives. Think they say mal mal mal
Speaker 1: Dive said mal Dives. I don't remember, she said mal.
Speaker 1: She said mald Dives. No, she said Maldives. We'll do it. Well,
Speaker 1: we'll find out afterwards. And now the listener is going
Speaker 1: to go back and listen when she just read that
Speaker 1: from hundred dollars, here we go, all right, so let's
Speaker 1: see what it really is pronounced. Um, let's see one
Speaker 1: second she said Maldives. I know for a fact because
Speaker 1: I heard it and I was like, that's weird. I
Speaker 1: was really hoping you wouldn't ask me to read that one,
Speaker 1: because well, here we go, here we go, here's what
Speaker 1: it is. I didn't want that to happen. Dieve's pronunciation.
Speaker 1: Let's do this, and it's going to play. I think
Speaker 1: it's Oh, it's connected to my goddamn bluetooth one beating
Speaker 1: my here, I got it, Maldives, Maldives. Well that's what
Speaker 1: she said, she said, mal Dives. No, she said, Maldives,
Speaker 1: I said it wrong. Well we're going to find out.
Speaker 1: And you guys listening right now, you know that I
Speaker 1: want a We can't go back around. You had to
Speaker 1: rank it, all right, So Jen, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for that. That is awesome and that is exactly what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Oh my god, can I just say
Speaker 1: yesterday I ran into a guy. I was walking Luigi.
Speaker 1: He was on leach. I ran to a guy that
Speaker 1: had a dog named Danny, very very cute, little beagle
Speaker 1: dog is a puppy. It's so cute as a girl
Speaker 1: to named Danny so cute. And he said to me, goes,
Speaker 1: are you are you wanting to take Luigi off leash?
Speaker 1: And I just he goes, do you want to take
Speaker 1: him off leach? And I looked at him like I
Speaker 1: thought he knew. I thought he noticed that I'm an
Speaker 1: Awfulee shirt around the building and was kind of like
Speaker 1: they all talked about me, like this bitch has a
Speaker 1: dog off leash, and so I kind of look at
Speaker 1: on my goat now because I really didn't want to,
Speaker 1: and I was like, why now they're talking about me
Speaker 1: like they know that I'm this off leach bitch and
Speaker 1: they're all like, she thinks she's cool. And then I
Speaker 1: realized he's a fucking bestie. And I realized that after
Speaker 1: I walked away. So shout out to Danny's owner. You
Speaker 1: were so sweet, and I'm sorry. I was very confused
Speaker 1: by you saying that, and you were trying to let
Speaker 1: me know you listen to the podcast all right, next okay,
Speaker 1: this is a voicemail from Becca Sweet. Hey Nikki, my
Speaker 1: name is Becca, and day went bestie. So I was
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast on Monday and you mentioned that
Speaker 1: you were at the Colony Hotel in Palm Beach Saturday,
Speaker 1: and I was actually on a date right across the street.
Speaker 1: I looked out the window and I said, I wonder
Speaker 1: what's going on at the Colony Hotel this weekend. He goes, M,
Speaker 1: I don't know, and then yeah, come to find out,
Speaker 1: it to you, the woman that I listened to every
Speaker 1: day in my favorite comedian of all time. Um, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought that was funny. But yeah, sometimes I just
Speaker 1: feel like this friendship is one way like it is,
Speaker 1: we could have got that spreak tam together. You could
Speaker 1: have let me know, Yeah you're right, but no you're not.
Speaker 1: And I'm not kidding you. I'm sad we didnt get
Speaker 1: to September super excited. So yeah that guy. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is what I love. I love that people talk to
Speaker 1: me like I'm a best friend that they just like
Speaker 1: missed in passing and like I I'm gonna try to
Speaker 1: be a little bit more um giving on our social,
Speaker 1: on our pod social about my whereabouts because sometimes I
Speaker 1: don't want to let people know because I just don't
Speaker 1: want to there there could be people that want to
Speaker 1: do me harm. But um, I I'm so mad I
Speaker 1: missed the opportunity to run into you. I love when
Speaker 1: I get to run into besties and the ones of
Speaker 1: you i've met. You know that when you run into me,
Speaker 1: it is I treat you like a best friend and
Speaker 1: I give you a hug like we haven't seen each
Speaker 1: other forever and because and I know it's one sided, um,
Speaker 1: which I would I would argue that a lot of
Speaker 1: my best friends who I see in person, they would
Speaker 1: also argue this relationships at one sided um, but no
Speaker 1: that that means a lot to me and I all
Speaker 1: that's why I love hearing from you guys, because it
Speaker 1: just I get verification that the people that listen to
Speaker 1: the show are people that I would be best friends
Speaker 1: with and when I get coffee with and I will
Speaker 1: eventually be doing that. Like I, I love you guys
Speaker 1: so and and you're specially more special to me than
Speaker 1: any other fan I've accrued in my life through se
Speaker 1: end up, through anything. No offense of you like me
Speaker 1: from stand up that's also me, but this is more me.
Speaker 1: I just want to say quickly, Uh fan Trex from
Speaker 1: Mark Uh. Someone you will see on the upcoming season
Speaker 1: of f Boy Island Mark Moran. He wrote me and
Speaker 1: invited us to a premiere party in New York on
Speaker 1: that he's having. We're not going to be there, unfortunately,
Speaker 1: but he said, um, he goes, Nikki, I love you
Speaker 1: to go. Would you be two of my guests this party?
Speaker 1: I said, oh, we're not going to be there, but
Speaker 1: I wish we could be, and he said ah. He
Speaker 1: wrote c O U h L no worries. He was
Speaker 1: saying cool, but it wrote no worries. See you when
Speaker 1: you come to New York for your show and hope
Speaker 1: all as well. Love listening to you and Andrew Monday
Speaker 1: through Thursday. At first I read kul and I'm like,
Speaker 1: did that auto correct for him? Because he was talking
Speaker 1: to me, like or does did he right? Like? Does no?
Speaker 1: I had no idea listened to the show. I am
Speaker 1: Mark shout out, thank you for listening to the show.
Speaker 1: You're so funny on the show. I got to sing
Speaker 1: your praises yesterday on the f Boy podcast that's coming
Speaker 1: out soon that is hosted by two hilarious comedians. Um,
Speaker 1: I can't remember their names right now. I'm so embarrassed,
Speaker 1: but I did a podcast yesterday about f Boy Island.
Speaker 1: I really recommend you guys listening because they'll have people
Speaker 1: and the host they got for it, which you never
Speaker 1: know what they're going to get to just do this
Speaker 1: temporary podcast about a show. HBO got to comedians that
Speaker 1: I know both from the Rows scene and another one
Speaker 1: I knew from Nicole Ritchie's uh Quimby show, but was
Speaker 1: I started following because I was like, this guy is
Speaker 1: the funniest person ever. So I was just so happy
Speaker 1: to see them and it just made me even it
Speaker 1: made me believe so much more in like HBO already
Speaker 1: because I've even been giving interviews being like they were
Speaker 1: so hands off with me in terms of like do
Speaker 1: whatever you want, Nikki that I think it was negligent,
Speaker 1: Like I think it was a bad Like it was
Speaker 1: almost like you guys don't want to say anything. They
Speaker 1: just trusted and just because they have good taste, they
Speaker 1: know that they're not funnier than me, so they're gonna
Speaker 1: let me. That's that's smart, that's what executive should do.
Speaker 1: And I and I really just shout out to those guys.
Speaker 1: And Mark marian I gave you a shout out on
Speaker 1: the f Boy podcast because, um, how funny you were
Speaker 1: on the season. And what I always say about you
Speaker 1: is that although your jokes, we took about some of
Speaker 1: the jokes you make on the second episode on a date,
Speaker 1: and um, we rape them and they're all like dad
Speaker 1: jokes that he heard along the way, I don't think
Speaker 1: you've made these jokes up. And we kind of bash
Speaker 1: you for those jokes. But what I wanted to say,
Speaker 1: and I said on the show, I think is that
Speaker 1: you're you take risks that I don't take. That if
Speaker 1: you embarrass yourself. It's so embarrassing, but if it comes through,
Speaker 1: it's amazing. And you're someone that takes a lot of risks,
Speaker 1: probably financially too, and that's what you're doing. Well. Um,
Speaker 1: he's very fast, like running like he ran track in
Speaker 1: D one. I saw him sprint a race a guy
Speaker 1: in the parking lot and he smoked them by like
Speaker 1: thirty ft. Go Mark. This is from Maren and it
Speaker 1: says divorced parents live next door to each other. Okay,
Speaker 1: good to night, Hey besties. My name is Maren, and
Speaker 1: I'm calling because in a recent episode, y'all were talking
Speaker 1: about how Adele bought a house for her husband across
Speaker 1: the street after they got to worse, and I just
Speaker 1: wanted to share that when my parents got divorced when
Speaker 1: I was in sixth grade, my mom bought the house
Speaker 1: next door to my dad, and I grew up with
Speaker 1: my parents living next door to each other and it
Speaker 1: was a super amicable divorce. So I grew up like
Speaker 1: pretty happy with this arrangement. And I love to tell
Speaker 1: people about my childhood and how that went stuff, So
Speaker 1: I thought y'all would find it interesting. Um, thanks so
Speaker 1: much for making this show. It helps get me through
Speaker 1: my s S d J, my soul sucking dusk job.
Speaker 1: Anybody can't wait to hear the next episode thanks by
Speaker 1: love it um. S SDJ could also be day job
Speaker 1: like if you're not at the desk or soul sucking
Speaker 1: standing dusk job, if you are saying to a standing
Speaker 1: dusk and s S S d J, um, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for that and what cool parents to arrange that.
Speaker 1: I think that is actually I wonder if the parents started,
Speaker 1: if they got I would just like to know follow up,
Speaker 1: if they got remarried, or if they dated a lot,
Speaker 1: and like the other parents looking out the window, like
Speaker 1: just like a relationship blossom, like that might be tough.
Speaker 1: I would think, yeah, but unless you really were like
Speaker 1: we're better off as friends and I don't care. No,
Speaker 1: it's awesome, Like dude, I mean, like I said before,
Speaker 1: like hearing that is so foreign to me, but so
Speaker 1: many like I did a divorced podcast I did like
Speaker 1: hundreds of and the common denominator was like, your parents
Speaker 1: can be divorced all day, but as long as they
Speaker 1: stay friends afterwards, the kid is literally could be better
Speaker 1: than ever comedian. Yeah, we'll probably end up a doctor
Speaker 1: like their father. UM, I did get UM one short
Speaker 1: one and from my d M S. I want to
Speaker 1: say that the girl that I told you guys about
Speaker 1: that hasn't only fans, and she looks like me, and
Speaker 1: so if you're into like sexy material from someone who
Speaker 1: really looks like me. Bentley with Luna Hill x one
Speaker 1: wrote to me and she said, UM, I really can't
Speaker 1: begin to thank you enough, Nikki. I got over two
Speaker 1: hundred new subs from you. I've been working so hard
Speaker 1: and you doing something like this is honestly helped me
Speaker 1: so much. I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable with
Speaker 1: too many thank you and your best and you're the best,
Speaker 1: but seriously, thank you, you're the best. Um. Thank you
Speaker 1: for subscribing to her Only Fans. I really love to
Speaker 1: support artists on only fans, especially ones that I find
Speaker 1: via porn sites that I'm like really into, they oftentimes
Speaker 1: have only fans. It's just a great way to like
Speaker 1: actually give the money and to like cruelty free porn
Speaker 1: and UM and also Luna Luna Hill x one. You
Speaker 1: can follow into Luna do it a solid though. Her
Speaker 1: next only Fans video, Can You Shave m G P
Speaker 1: into your vagina hair just to kind of get some
Speaker 1: of her followers fans of ours would be nice, right,
Speaker 1: And if you don't have vagina hair, maybe I figured
Speaker 1: it just grow it out, grow it out, um, and
Speaker 1: then shave it in. I think it's a good idea.
Speaker 1: And I will never uh you know, advertise her only
Speaker 1: and not advertising it l never. I will tell you
Speaker 1: to unsubscribe unless she does that. So that is a threat. Uh,
Speaker 1: let's get to our last thing. No, do we have
Speaker 1: time for one last one? That's pretty good. That's really good.
Speaker 1: Oh I thought she was playing it again. That's good. Whoa, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is from Nikola. Maybe the Glazer sisters just straight
Speaker 1: up by the way, I wanted to be Taylor Swift related.
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know how like they always do
Speaker 1: like its song, like maybe the fashion eggs. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe Hey Nikki, Andrew and Noah. My name is Nicola
Speaker 1: and I'm calling in because I not only have a
Speaker 1: mispronunciation story, but also a co story. The mispronunciation story
Speaker 1: is not about myself but about my friend's sage. She's
Speaker 1: notorious for always misspelling and saying things incorrectly. But the
Speaker 1: funniest stories when she was fighting with her mom. She
Speaker 1: was really mad, and she goes, you are the epitome
Speaker 1: of crazy, and her mom looked awed and goes, did
Speaker 1: you mean to say epitome? And she has not lived
Speaker 1: that one down since. And then my co story is
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, so ca and so cringe. But my
Speaker 1: friends and I middle school. We're trying to flirt with
Speaker 1: the boys, of course, and we thought the best way
Speaker 1: to do that would be to pull out a string
Speaker 1: of hair from our ponytails and to go around to
Speaker 1: all of the boys and ask them to pet our
Speaker 1: rat tails. And then we proceeded to force them to
Speaker 1: pet them. I don't know that it was not flirty, definitely,
Speaker 1: but I don't know. Making me laugh. I get some
Speaker 1: pretty bad anxiety and your podcast is my safe place
Speaker 1: and always gets me through it. I'll be seeing you,
Speaker 1: Nikki in when you come to Wisconsin, and I cannot
Speaker 1: win Nicola on my God. I love your name, first
Speaker 1: of all, Like, that's so much more fun if your
Speaker 1: name had had a like a cigarette holder. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Like Nick alah Allah means to the nick, to the glazer, nick,
Speaker 1: whatever your last name is, your name is nick to
Speaker 1: the blank in French, um Nicola, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for that. That is was the epitome of a mispronunciation. Example.
Speaker 1: Love it the kold thing. I do understand that, Like
Speaker 1: just like why did we do that, the bizarre thing
Speaker 1: in middle school, Like we put out our hair and
Speaker 1: said that. We did a thing called Guess the boob
Speaker 1: that I've talked about where we just took a picture.
Speaker 1: We had the first like internet camera ever. My dad
Speaker 1: got a o L you know, in semester took a
Speaker 1: picture of one breast each of us except me because
Speaker 1: I was too modest. And um, I just asked Kurston
Speaker 1: to be my stand in boob because she had the
Speaker 1: best boobs. And then we would send the boobs two
Speaker 1: guys in our middle school or our high school. It
Speaker 1: was middle school actually, like image, and we would go,
Speaker 1: guess who's boob is? Who this is, who's here? And
Speaker 1: then they would try to guess it. And that was
Speaker 1: dumb and I never did my own one. But um,
Speaker 1: I do love that story because you could have gotten
Speaker 1: boobs from the internet, but you guys actually went with
Speaker 1: your actual tits. Yeah, I mean, because we just had
Speaker 1: to use that camera. Was so dope. Um Brandon told
Speaker 1: me the song, uh a couple of days ago. Have
Speaker 1: you ever heard the tea Paint song where he wraps
Speaker 1: mansion in Wisconsin? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you got the men
Speaker 1: and whisky. I love I love mispronunciation to rhyming a rhyme.
Speaker 1: My favorite one is in the Billy Currington song He Goes.
Speaker 1: I read in the obituary he was a millionairey love
Speaker 1: throwing on the thing like airy like it. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's fun. But Billy Currington, it's God is great and
Speaker 1: people are good. Beer is crazy or God is good great,
Speaker 1: God is great, people are wait, God here is good.
Speaker 1: God is great, People are God is great, Beer is good,
Speaker 1: people are crazy, is what I think it is. It
Speaker 1: starts with God. Oh, that starts with the God. I
Speaker 1: remember right. I wrote that literally, it's in my phone right.
Speaker 1: Look at I type in God in my nose. It's
Speaker 1: a great song. Watch this And you know why I
Speaker 1: look at it says God. I love this song because
Speaker 1: he meets this old man who cuts his shitty kids
Speaker 1: out of the will and gives him all his money
Speaker 1: just because they drank one day. And I wrote that
Speaker 1: down because I saw in someone's bumble profile and I
Speaker 1: thought it was just such a perfect example of just
Speaker 1: an idiot, but that I didn't know there were lyrics.
Speaker 1: I was just like, kid, people are look crazy. Saying
Speaker 1: people are crazy is kid? Um, yeah, people are. I've
Speaker 1: heard a couple of kids recently that I go, that's
Speaker 1: not cool. So let's let's just reiterate. And and by
Speaker 1: the way, I don't care if you're not right with kid.
Speaker 1: I just love that using it. Mark used it wrong
Speaker 1: by saying it's kid like that it wasn't you know
Speaker 1: what's fine? Kid means you're trying to look cool, but
Speaker 1: you're acting like you're not trying, like you're acting like
Speaker 1: you don't want people to notice, or it's an aggressive
Speaker 1: look cool, or you're but you're yet but but but
Speaker 1: the thing the rev is done like the person is
Speaker 1: not doing it to be like, hey watch, I'm about
Speaker 1: If someone goes not to reugh my engine to a
Speaker 1: bunch of people and then they rev it, that's not
Speaker 1: if they reve it like they're just like it would
Speaker 1: be doing this anyway, but they're literally doing it for
Speaker 1: someone else. Could by definitely is something that you do
Speaker 1: to get people's attention that you here's here's what it says,
Speaker 1: tell someone. Thing is if you wouldn't do it unless
Speaker 1: people were around, and you're doing it because people are around,
Speaker 1: But it's you're doing it without acknowledging that you're doing
Speaker 1: it because people are around. Cat final thought before we
Speaker 1: go off, you go off to Chicago today. You're driving
Speaker 1: Brenna there, Um, I am going to Mexico on Saturday.
Speaker 1: I will be broadcasting from there. Um on Monday. Will
Speaker 1: you still be in Chicago on Monday potentially Wednesday? Are
Speaker 1: you going to play golf there? Nice a lot of
Speaker 1: golf of my cousins, and I believe with Brenna's Yeah.
Speaker 1: She told me that, Um, someone and her family wanted
Speaker 1: to play with you and they were like, do you
Speaker 1: think Andrew would be interested in in playing around of golf?
Speaker 1: And she goes, he would love nothing more, nothing more
Speaker 1: than that he would love So I just love that
Speaker 1: she um is embracing your obsession with golf. And we
Speaker 1: go on the road. Maybe I could squeeze in a
Speaker 1: nine somewhere like the I'm so obsessed with guitar. If
Speaker 1: I had to go somewhere to play guitar and like
Speaker 1: couldn't do it in the house, I would be gone
Speaker 1: all the time, all the time. And the fact that
Speaker 1: you're going is because I have shame about playing golf
Speaker 1: because or about playing guitar because it doesn't actually contribute
Speaker 1: to my bottom like my money and my my career
Speaker 1: that I was active, um and so I always feel
Speaker 1: bad playing it, especially when I'm like Andrew, could you
Speaker 1: watch Luigi? Have so much to do today, and then
Speaker 1: I'm playing guitar. It's like, well, why are you playing guitar?
Speaker 1: Like and it's like, well, yesterday I had to get
Speaker 1: on a call, dude. It's for your well being. Man, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have more important but money is yesterday. You need
Speaker 1: money to yesterday. I had five hours of of NonStop
Speaker 1: talking of being on. I did this show for an
Speaker 1: hour and a half, you know. Then we did a
Speaker 1: special episode that's going to air fan t Rex only
Speaker 1: that was about an hour. Then I did UM an
Speaker 1: hour f Boy Island podcast. Then I did an hour
Speaker 1: interview with l and and uh and then something else
Speaker 1: was an hour and it was me talking being on
Speaker 1: and not just not like people go oh, I worked
Speaker 1: a five hour day. That's nothing. You're like at your computer,
Speaker 1: you like sometimes get distracted by your phone I could
Speaker 1: not be on my phone for any of this. I
Speaker 1: was at some points because I just had to and
Speaker 1: got distracted. But like when I'm on and doing an interview,
Speaker 1: I can't be on my phone. I can't do, I
Speaker 1: can't eat, I can't Like the last interview is supposed
Speaker 1: to be on zoom, and I go, can I do
Speaker 1: this as a phone call? Because I have to clean
Speaker 1: up my house and so during it, I was like
Speaker 1: like folding clothes and stuff. But um I what I
Speaker 1: was gonna say about that was, Oh, before one of
Speaker 1: my interviews, I was running late and I needed to
Speaker 1: get like hair and makeup, and then I I got
Speaker 1: everything ready and I'm, oh, my gosh, two minutes till
Speaker 1: the interview starts. I'm ready to go. But I really
Speaker 1: wanted to play a song on guitar because I just
Speaker 1: was craving it so much. My A D D meds
Speaker 1: were kicking in a way that I was like going
Speaker 1: to nail this song. It was like, and I was,
Speaker 1: and I said to Andrew, I go, Andrew, is it
Speaker 1: bad if I'm seven minutes late? Not because I wasn't ready,
Speaker 1: but because I wanted to play a song on guitar
Speaker 1: and he goes, I think you just answered your own question,
Speaker 1: and I go, you're right, I'll get on right now.
Speaker 1: And so I got on the zoom now. So I
Speaker 1: played guitar. I was seven minutes late and it ended
Speaker 1: up being okay. And I didn't lie and say that
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not ready. I was just like, I
Speaker 1: need seven more minutes. And it wasn't a lie. I
Speaker 1: didn't need. So many companies they have ping pong tables
Speaker 1: in their fucking office, they have so many guys have
Speaker 1: putting greens in their office. Like you need a little
Speaker 1: bit of fucking mdirect to just be able to be
Speaker 1: great at the other stuff. Okay, So that's what that's
Speaker 1: I'm giving. Maybe every Thursday we leave with like a
Speaker 1: challenge for this weekend. To my challenge to you, listener,
Speaker 1: is something that you are feeling very anxious about that
Speaker 1: you were like, I have to do it for them,
Speaker 1: like you're just doing it for someone else, and you
Speaker 1: have to be accountable, figure out a way be late
Speaker 1: without lying, allow yourself to be five minutes late, because
Speaker 1: don't you allow people to be five minutes late, Listener?
Speaker 1: Don't you wouldn't if you would allow this person that
Speaker 1: you're meeting to be five minutes late, and totally understand
Speaker 1: it and wouldn't mess up how you view them like yourself.
Speaker 1: An extra five minutes and do anything that you want,
Speaker 1: literally pull up a TV show you're watching, Do do
Speaker 1: something that is so self indulgent. Don't lie about it,
Speaker 1: Just say can I'm sorry, I I need an extra
Speaker 1: five minutes. You're not lying, you need it. Do something
Speaker 1: that you would be ashamed to admit, but it's gonna
Speaker 1: make you feel better, and see what happens. And if
Speaker 1: you got five, if you get fired, don't blame us.
Speaker 1: You won't get fired. Five minutes will always be okay.
Speaker 1: And even if that five minutes is going to get
Speaker 1: an nice coffee and you walk in five minutes late
Speaker 1: with a nice coffee, that coffee is gonna make you
Speaker 1: better for the minutes you are, they're not the five.
Speaker 1: That five minutes that you took to get the coffee
Speaker 1: is well worth. And if you're an e er surgeon,
Speaker 1: don't play a Taylor Swift song before you get in there.
Speaker 1: And uh no, no, this is about you. And you
Speaker 1: know what, something good will come of their death. Maybe
Speaker 1: uh the little time in the Maldives and I'm about
Speaker 1: to win a hundred bucks and we go. Thank you
Speaker 1: guys so much for listening. Have all the swells this weekend.
Speaker 1: Don't be and um and and be coo if you
Speaker 1: want to listen. We all need attention and U