1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:03,080 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Bombing with Eric Andre, 2 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,080 Speaker 1: where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: people about their worst moments on stage and being destroyed 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: by a live audience. This time I was blessed by 5 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 1: Sierra Leones. Funny man David Bori. He's written on my 6 00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: projects and he's just the coolest. 7 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 2: Guy in the world. Where Pod Brothers. 8 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: He co hosts the podcast My Mama Told Me, also 9 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 1: on the Big Money Players Network, where each week he 10 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: and Langston Kerman dive into a new black conspiracy theory. 11 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: You can listen to my episode called it Could Be 12 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: a Crackhead about the infamous Crichton Leprechan viral video. But 13 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: on this episode of Bombing, we talked about stories from 14 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: the Motherland and how insane it is to be in 15 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: the road on Christmas, especially in Las Vegas. 16 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 3: Let's get out to it. 17 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:50,160 Speaker 4: Bombing with Eric. 18 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 2: Andre David Bori in the house. 19 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 3: Man, I miss you. How are you doing all right? 20 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,880 Speaker 2: So I got a podcast. You have a podcast, It's 21 00:00:57,920 --> 00:01:01,160 Speaker 2: called Bombing. Bombing we are year with one of my 22 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:05,959 Speaker 2: favorite comedians. We toured together. He's written for the Eric 23 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:10,520 Speaker 2: Andre Show, the voice of Comedy Central, the sex symbol. 24 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:16,200 Speaker 2: He's the body of an Adonis and the ass of 25 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 2: mccullay cocaine. Yeah, yeah, David Borie, everybody. He first of all, 26 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 2: your name is spelled g b oh r, I E. 27 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,680 Speaker 2: Did I get it right? But the G is silent? 28 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 3: Is silent? 29 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 2: How bad have people fucked up and mispronounced your name? 30 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 2: Give me like a little what do you? What do 31 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 2: you get? 32 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:46,840 Speaker 3: My high school football coach, he said orgy, which is 33 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 3: like you can't read. Yeah, he was like orange. It 34 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 3: was the first day of weightlifting and he was like 35 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 3: the Borgy orgy, and it's like you can't read, Like 36 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 3: that's the problem, not my orgy. 37 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,040 Speaker 2: It is crazy, especially when. 38 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,120 Speaker 3: You're a virgin. You can't live up to that. Thank god. 39 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 3: I went to a different school next year. I remember 40 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,920 Speaker 3: even I think I'd seen a boob and then you 41 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,799 Speaker 3: call me orgy. I can't live like that. 42 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 2: All right, what is the worst you've ever bombed on stage? 43 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 3: This is so funny that you because I was telling Olivia, 44 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:27,480 Speaker 3: your producer, also the producer from my Mama told me, Oh, 45 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 3: I was telling her. I just got off of my 46 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 3: worst bombing weekend of my entire career. Christmas weekend in 47 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 3: Las Vegas. It was it was what happened, Dog, It's 48 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 3: just like it just got so much worse, Like it 49 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:40,280 Speaker 3: started Christmas eve eve. 50 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: So what was the venue? 51 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,000 Speaker 4: What was it? What was it? 52 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,679 Speaker 2: Give us some context was this I don't want to 53 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,160 Speaker 2: say the venue, Okay, give us like the type of venue. 54 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 2: Were you playing a casino? Are you playing a theater? 55 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:49,040 Speaker 2: Was it a room? 56 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 3: Was it it was like off of a strip mall 57 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:52,399 Speaker 3: next to the casino. 58 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 2: It was a theater? 59 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 4: Or what was it? 60 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 2: A comedy club? 61 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 3: It was a it was a comedy club, high high ceilings. 62 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,959 Speaker 2: Comedy club, crowd far. 63 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,399 Speaker 3: Far away, and it was the type of people who 64 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,920 Speaker 3: were in Las Vegas on Christmas. 65 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,239 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a tough crowd. 66 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 3: And I bomb, Like so I start on Thursday night 67 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,639 Speaker 3: and I bomb consecutively worse. 68 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,160 Speaker 2: Oh, every show, every single fucking show. 69 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 3: And I tried to go. 70 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 2: So like two at night, three at night, a night. Everyone, 71 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,200 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's a night. That's purgatory. That's a 72 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 2: black marror episode, dog. 73 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 3: And then I had to go to sleep, wake up, 74 00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 3: go to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant and face that shit again 75 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 3: and again. 76 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 2: God, what was the talent. What was like the producer 77 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 2: or whatever the booker saying to you. 78 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 3: They don't even give a ship because it's Vegas. They 79 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 3: just these people are gonna be here anyways. It's not 80 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 3: about putting on a good show. It's just having them 81 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 3: go somewhere for an hour and a half so they 82 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 3: don't gamble. 83 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 2: Were you with any other comedian that you could commiserate 84 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 2: with and be like, oh, this is horrible. 85 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 4: Yeah. 86 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 3: I was with Steve Aj, Stephen AJ, my fellow brother. 87 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 2: This is Steve ag No, no, no, this is this 88 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 2: is Stephen Aj. 89 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, and he also was bombed. 90 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 2: So were you guys just like halfway through it like 91 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,360 Speaker 2: this is hell on Earth? 92 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 4: Yeah? 93 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 3: It was, because it was like every night you bomb 94 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 3: and then they let you loose on Las Vegas to 95 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 3: like think about it. Yeah, but it's also Christmas Eve. Yeah, 96 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,800 Speaker 3: so now it's like Christmas Eve in Vegas. You're in 97 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 3: a piano bar and Harah's just like thinking about everything 98 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 3: you've ever done wrong. 99 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 2: It's like the saddest Christmas all the time. Christmas it's 100 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 2: so much work. As piano's bombed. In February, you want 101 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 2: to give a ship? 102 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, but Christmas Eve. I'm just like trying to 103 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 3: do the math of like what time can I call 104 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,440 Speaker 3: my mom and have her not worry that I'm doing 105 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,960 Speaker 3: as bad as I am right now? 106 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 2: It was so, did you have to do an hour? 107 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:50,160 Speaker 3: I had to do forty five? Yeah, forty five forty five? 108 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 2: Sorry? Described the crowd to us? What's the crowd like, 109 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 2: give us a paint us a picture? 110 00:04:54,760 --> 00:05:00,480 Speaker 3: Couples where one of them had kids in one didn't, 111 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,119 Speaker 3: and those kids were out of state. 112 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,159 Speaker 2: I don't even know how to respond to that. 113 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:04,880 Speaker 4: What does that mean? 114 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 3: It's people who would go to Las Vegas for Christmas talk? 115 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:12,480 Speaker 2: So is that like like Jimmy Buffett parent head white people, 116 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 2: or is it like. 117 00:05:13,720 --> 00:05:17,160 Speaker 3: No, It's like it's like it's like people who are 118 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,640 Speaker 3: they troubled? They were happier than I was to be there, 119 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,640 Speaker 3: which is odd. But I haven't even told you the 120 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:22,840 Speaker 3: worst of two parts of it. 121 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 2: Okay, God go ahead, Okay. 122 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 3: The worst part was like one night I ran into 123 00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 3: the arms of a sex worker. That was the only 124 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 3: way I thought it could get better. It did not 125 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 3: get better. So then I wake up on Christmas. 126 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 2: You ran into the arms of the sex breaker. It's 127 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,440 Speaker 2: such a beautiful poetic way of saying I bought a 128 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 2: hooker for that. 129 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 3: No, because dude, it gets so much deeper because we 130 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 3: didn't actually have sex. It was very complicated. 131 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 2: Well that's conceptual, is it. 132 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: It sounds sad. So then I wake up on Christmas. 133 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 3: Christmas is our last show. We only have to do 134 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,800 Speaker 3: one show on Christmas, and I'm like, all right, just 135 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,920 Speaker 3: one show and then I'm free. Lord, I was going 136 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 3: to Hawaii the next day. I was like, I'm free. 137 00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 3: We're gonna be okay, I'll be okay, right, I wake up, 138 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 3: I'm doing my thing. The club owner calls me on 139 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 3: Christmas Day. He's like, hey, Lunell missed her flight. And 140 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know what that has to 141 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 3: do with me. Oh no, he wanted you to do more. 142 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,039 Speaker 3: Lunell does the late show every Sunday night at this show, 143 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,880 Speaker 3: and it's on Christmas and she missed her flight and 144 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 3: he's like, you want to just do it? I was like, 145 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 3: And then he talks about the pay, and. 146 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, the pay was good. 147 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,159 Speaker 3: The whole reason I was even there was because the 148 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 3: pay was incredible. 149 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, right. Money changes the conversation. 150 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 3: Which is no, but this is what it locked into me, 151 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 3: is like now I'm like, I'm never doing this ever again. 152 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 3: I'm never doing comedy just for money. This is the worst. 153 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 3: So it's Lunell's crowd on Christmas. They don't tell anybody 154 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 3: that she's not gonna make it until people start showing 155 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 3: up for the show. No, in between shows, the club 156 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 3: owner comes up and he's like, people are fucking freaking 157 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:11,400 Speaker 3: out downstairs. Have to figure out they want their money back. 158 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 3: So people who stayed are people who are so pissed, 159 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 3: but they refuse to get a refund. And they wanted 160 00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 3: Lunell and it's me. They wanted Lunell on Christmas and 161 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:29,120 Speaker 3: it's me. It's me, you hear me, It's me. I 162 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:32,440 Speaker 3: got no Hunell. And then the club owner starts getting crazy, 163 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 3: like kind of racist, like he takes me and Steve aside. 164 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,720 Speaker 3: He's like, listen, just so you guys know, it's an 165 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 3: urban show. 166 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 4: So just you know. 167 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,080 Speaker 2: My brother. 168 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, she never holds back, just just just letting go. 169 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 2: Baby, somebody who has never done comedy once and. 170 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,880 Speaker 3: Then so and then yeah, her opener made it so 171 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 3: her opener was there, and then I had to headline 172 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 3: Munell's show on Christmas for a bunch of old black 173 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 3: aunties who were pissed. 174 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 2: Oh my god. I wasn't how'd you do well? 175 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,960 Speaker 3: Thank god a guy was wearing a wife beater, cause 176 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 3: I got to be like, are you wearing a wife beater? 177 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 3: And his wife was like yeah, oh, and then I 178 00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,640 Speaker 3: got twenty five minutes out of that. 179 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:20,679 Speaker 2: That was just saving grace. 180 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. I made him stand up and spin around. 181 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,120 Speaker 2: And you're just grabbing at straws the whole weekend. It 182 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 2: was never We're just doing crowd work at one point 183 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 2: where you're like my jokes, they don't want my jokes. 184 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. I never got any traction ever. They never liked me, 185 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,240 Speaker 3: they were never into it. I never understood what they 186 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 3: were doing there. They never understood what I was doing there. 187 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 2: Did you just feel like you wanted to quit doing 188 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 2: stand up comedy at the end of it, Yeah, where 189 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 2: you're like, I'm going to paint houses the rest of 190 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 2: my life. 191 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 3: Yeah. I went to Hawaii like the day afterwards, and 192 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,520 Speaker 3: I was like I might just not come back. I 193 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:55,839 Speaker 3: was like trying to figure it out in my head. 194 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,959 Speaker 3: I was like, you know, you got other things you do, 195 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 3: you can you can make money other way, like you 196 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 3: don't have to. 197 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 2: The thing is, we have no we have no comics 198 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 2: of no other life skill. 199 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,199 Speaker 3: No, bro, I can't build anything. 200 00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 2: I'm useless. I'm fucking like a useless skill set. If 201 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 2: this ends, there's nothing, What am I gonna do? There's nothing. 202 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 3: I haven't had a real job in fifteen years. 203 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,960 Speaker 2: There's nothing entry level. I would have to I would 204 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,080 Speaker 2: have to deliver pizzas. 205 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,600 Speaker 3: I would have to do y. 206 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'd be temping living pizzas, going up to 207 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 2: a construction site with a hammer, Like, hey, I could 208 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 2: fucking hammer some nails in be fucking that. I would 209 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 2: get fired from that. 210 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 3: I couldn't even do that. I'd have to like go 211 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 3: get their lunches. 212 00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 2: I would just like break both my legs and collect 213 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,800 Speaker 2: disability or something. I would just have somebody's steamroll over 214 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 2: my foot. 215 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, what are you gonna do tomorrow? This ends tomorrow? 216 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,719 Speaker 2: Chop off a couple of toes, be like, yeah, I 217 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,520 Speaker 2: got diabetes, just collect disability. 218 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 3: Did you ever have a job you were good at 219 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 3: besides this? 220 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 4: Never? 221 00:09:54,600 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 2: I was the worst employee. I was so fucking incompetent, lazy, 222 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:07,040 Speaker 2: had no I I was useless. I was useless every 223 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 2: job I ever had. Yeah, like I fired all the time, lectured, Yeah, 224 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,800 Speaker 2: I got fired alive. I waited table. I lied when 225 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:14,959 Speaker 2: I first moved to New York. And I told the 226 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 2: guy I was twenty one years old and I told 227 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 2: the guy that I waited table since I was fourteen. 228 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 2: Total lie. And he's like, all right, well start waiting tables. 229 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, how do you do that? 230 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 2: I was dropping plates, I was burning myself. I was 231 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 2: eating food off the customer's thing when like they would 232 00:10:30,559 --> 00:10:33,160 Speaker 2: like beat in the bathroom and the other waiters like 233 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 2: you can't do that, man. I was like, I'm so hungry, bro, 234 00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 2: I'm fucking starving. I was horrible. And then the guy 235 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 2: that the boss came in a few days later, he goes, all, 236 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,360 Speaker 2: my waiter said, you look pretty nervous out there, and 237 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 2: you wanted to just start as a busboy, and I 238 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 2: had some weird ego about it. I was like, fuck, no, man, 239 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 2: I'm a waiter till I d I e and then 240 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 2: I quit and I was like so broken, hungry, and 241 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 2: I was like why did I just say that? And 242 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not a waiter. I'm a liar. Yeah, no, 243 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 2: I should have just bus tables, like I'm a fucking idiot. 244 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,280 Speaker 3: The only job I ever had, I was good at 245 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 3: working at the gas station. 246 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,719 Speaker 2: You worked at a gas station. 247 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 3: But I also let all my friends steal. 248 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,959 Speaker 2: Really I worked at like four. 249 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 3: Different gas stations in like two different states. 250 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, you see any crazy shit? You see any brawls 251 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,440 Speaker 2: at a gas station or anything? Or was a mellow, not. 252 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:19,199 Speaker 3: Really brawls, But like, I did work overnight, so I 253 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 3: just see a lot of weird people getting out. There 254 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 3: was a bar next door called Finoogis, and you would 255 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:27,240 Speaker 3: just see weird people getting out of the bar late 256 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:31,720 Speaker 3: at night, clearly driving like drunk. This is rural Colorado. Correct, 257 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,680 Speaker 3: this is like Aurora. It's not that rural like the suburbs. 258 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 2: I interviewed the Beastie Boys one time and I asked them, 259 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,800 Speaker 2: I think it was an ad rock deep respond I go, 260 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,720 Speaker 2: what's the craziest thing you guys grew up in New 261 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 2: York City. What's the craziest thing you ever saw on 262 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 2: the subway? And he said he saw two hasidic dudes 263 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:51,800 Speaker 2: French kissing deep French kissing on the on the subway. 264 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:53,920 Speaker 2: Middle of the day. I was like, that's a mind 265 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 2: blowing just two rabbis going out at it. 266 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,960 Speaker 3: It's like a poster in your art school girlfriend's apartment. 267 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,080 Speaker 2: It was like, it's kind of like an Eric Andre 268 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 2: show bit. Can I borrow that from this. 269 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 3: In some type of blasphemy? Like if you do that, 270 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,240 Speaker 3: they won't let you get buried somewhere? I'm sure? 271 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, worth it? So any other bombing stories, any other 272 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 2: things that you like. 273 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,319 Speaker 3: So there was this one. There was this one open 274 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 3: mic that I was at in San Francisco at this 275 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 3: place called the Brainwash that isn't there anymore. It was 276 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 3: like a laundry mat slash open mic. 277 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 2: Oh, it sounds like a great venue. 278 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,960 Speaker 3: Oh that's where I started. 279 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 4: Maybe. 280 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,080 Speaker 3: It was like there was this guy and he was 281 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 3: like bugging the host to get up, bugging the host 282 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 3: to get up, and the host was like, fuck you man, 283 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,240 Speaker 3: I'm not putting you up, and the guy just kept 284 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 3: bugging him, kept bugging him, and finally the host puts 285 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 3: him up, and the guy just starts eating ship And 286 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,440 Speaker 3: it's only five minutes, right, yeah, but he's just eating 287 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:54,560 Speaker 3: a bag of Dixie's so terrible he decides to turn 288 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,720 Speaker 3: on the host and start making fun of the host. 289 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 3: The host grabs a knife and try us to stab it. 290 00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 4: What. 291 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was pretty great. And then everybody like grabbed 292 00:13:04,679 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 3: the host and like carry him outside. 293 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 2: The host had a knife and was ready to commit 294 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:10,679 Speaker 2: on the side. 295 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 3: No, he didn't have a knife. He like grabbed it. 296 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 3: It was like we're those silk They were walked because 297 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 3: it was like laundry mat slash bar slash. They served 298 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:19,959 Speaker 3: food to. 299 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:24,239 Speaker 2: A laundry mat that served food and beer and like booze. 300 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, and they had pitball. 301 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,959 Speaker 2: What kind of magical laundry mat is this? 302 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 3: Ah? So if anybody here. 303 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 2: You could wash your clothes and do and and. 304 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 3: Drink and watch my comedy. It was really great. 305 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,880 Speaker 2: So he grabbed a knife from the kitchen, well. 306 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 3: Like from the counter like they had the uh you 307 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 3: know they have the thing where they keep all the 308 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,880 Speaker 3: silver were in like I think they had just got done. 309 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 2: He grabbed like a butter knife. He grabbed a. 310 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 3: He grabbed a butter knife, and it was like trying to 311 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 3: go and then everybody like carried him outside. 312 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 2: That's like a Michelle Gondry music video. 313 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was great. 314 00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,080 Speaker 2: I was in a laundry mat doing my clothes, but 315 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 2: I was also doing stand up, but I was also 316 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 2: There was also a restaurant and a bar, and then 317 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 2: people were fighting with butter knives. 318 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,599 Speaker 3: It was really great. I missed those old days of 319 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 3: stand up when it was scary. 320 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, they're fucking rap. They were hell, but they were 321 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 2: like they made us men. 322 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,839 Speaker 3: Yeah that's just sad. 323 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:18,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of like, Yeah, it's not as you 324 00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 2: can always go back to those shows. Those shows still exist, Yeah, 325 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 2: but you it's. 326 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 3: Like, I don't even move the way that I used to. 327 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 3: I was like back then, I was supposed to be 328 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 3: in that room. Now it's like a weird. 329 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 2: It's a weird feeling going back to those it's a 330 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 2: weird sadness going back to those room. You feel like 331 00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,680 Speaker 2: something is terribly wrong. 332 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:35,080 Speaker 4: Yeah. 333 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,160 Speaker 3: I don't sleep on a couch anymore. I'm not excited 334 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 3: about the potential of what's gonna happen anymore and scared. 335 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 2: I went to Columbus, Ohio one time to do a gig. 336 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 2: It was it was at a small venue. It felt 337 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,560 Speaker 2: like almost like a sports bar, but they had a stage. 338 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 2: It had a proper stage and a mic, and they 339 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 2: did book me like they flew me out. They paid 340 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 2: me like a decent check, and I don't know. I 341 00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:03,680 Speaker 2: think this is like right before the air Gunders show started. 342 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 2: But I'm on stage and I'm doing well. I wasn't bombing. 343 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 2: I was on stage just all college kids. The place 344 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,280 Speaker 2: is packed. Maybe it was like season one of the 345 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 2: air Gun Show. Not sure place is packed. I'm doing well. 346 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,520 Speaker 2: There's this super drunk white girl in the front of 347 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:24,840 Speaker 2: and like front row, texting the whole time, talking oblivious 348 00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 2: to me on stage, oblivious of the gesus part of 349 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 2: a show. And I'm like trying to like roast her plightly, 350 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,560 Speaker 2: to be like, hey, I'm in the middle of work 351 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,960 Speaker 2: right now, sweetie, can you shut the fuck up? Like 352 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 2: doing like little things like that, like playfully, like trying 353 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 2: to get her to shut the fuck up. But she won't, 354 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:43,320 Speaker 2: and she's being belligerent and texting, and I go, give 355 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 2: me your phone, and she's like okay, okay, And then 356 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 2: I grabbed her phone. I looked up mom in her 357 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 2: contacts and I texted. I texted her mom mom dot 358 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 2: I've always had a thing for dad. And the crowd 359 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 2: erupts like oh shit, and I'm like, and I was like, 360 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 2: I'm gonna hold your phone up here until you're starts responding. 361 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 2: Her mom starts responding crazy, shit, I'm running back shit. 362 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 2: And then I give her phone back, thinking like that 363 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,360 Speaker 2: you've been reprimanded. Now you can you can do damage 364 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 2: control with your mom. You can say that, you know, 365 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 2: that's her opportunity to be like, oh comedian and grab 366 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 2: my phone and he's fucking with you. And then she 367 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 2: was so drunk, I don't think she processed anything that happened. 368 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:21,040 Speaker 2: And she just kept blabbing away and kept being fucking annoying. 369 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:22,880 Speaker 2: So it's like, goddamn it, sorry, I can give me 370 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 2: your phone, and I go, hey, everybody, I'm gonna pass 371 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:28,840 Speaker 2: this phone around. Let's pass it around the whole audience 372 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 2: and just text any text her mom, text her dad, 373 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:34,440 Speaker 2: texts anybody in her phone, anything you want, and like 374 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:37,400 Speaker 2: hundreds of kids got access to her phone and text that. 375 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 2: God knows what. I have no idea what the kids did. 376 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 3: Amazing. 377 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 2: Then the phone, the phone got back to her and 378 00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 2: she's kind of like in and out and then she's 379 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 2: like grabs her phone. She starts looking at it, and 380 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 2: I see her turn like bugs bunny thermometer red with anger, 381 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 2: with like drunken anger, and like just like inhaling all 382 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,600 Speaker 2: the fucking foul texts these college kids are sending to 383 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 2: like every one of her friends and family and anyone 384 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,120 Speaker 2: in her phone ex boyfriends, old bosses, people she currently 385 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:11,440 Speaker 2: works with, who knows, who knows what? Jima, yeah, gimon 386 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:15,800 Speaker 2: pop pop, Like yeah, I'll just like just the fucking 387 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:20,760 Speaker 2: heinous debris that these people, these vitriol that whatever. I 388 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 2: have no idea, I'm not responsible entirely for what they said, 389 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 2: but like just heinous cribes against humanity. So I see 390 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 2: her just reacting to all these incoming ship on her phone, 391 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 2: and then she just and then I just go back 392 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,359 Speaker 2: and I'm like kind of clocking it out of the 393 00:17:35,359 --> 00:17:37,080 Speaker 2: corner of my eye, and I just go back to 394 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,280 Speaker 2: my set, like hey, what's up with the due Blibbity 395 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 2: blue or whatever. Then she just jumps on stage and 396 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,600 Speaker 2: swings like a big haymaker at me, and I like whoa, 397 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 2: and like matrix tight sheet out of the way. She 398 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,360 Speaker 2: almost punched me right in the face. And then I'm 399 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 2: like looking at security like help help me. And then 400 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 2: like some college kids just kind of like dragged her 401 00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 2: as real security. 402 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was. Yeah. 403 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 2: I was like the security didn't mean to help. They 404 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 2: were like cracking up in the background. They're like this 405 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:06,000 Speaker 2: guy's crazy. 406 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:06,359 Speaker 4: Man. 407 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,959 Speaker 2: I was like, no, help me out right now, and 408 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,320 Speaker 2: I had some like eighteen year old kids like help 409 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 2: me out. So like the kids like kind of like 410 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,639 Speaker 2: dragged her out. And then finally security came in dragged 411 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,959 Speaker 2: her out, and I was like, what the fuck? And 412 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,879 Speaker 2: but like the crowd is eruptive at this point. It 413 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,480 Speaker 2: was actually a really good set and the crowd's erupted 414 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 2: and I kind of ended early after that. I was like, 415 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,119 Speaker 2: there's not really any jokes I can do after this. 416 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,879 Speaker 2: I can't go back to like be like did you 417 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 2: see Game of Thrones or whatever the fuck? 418 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:32,160 Speaker 4: You know what I mean. 419 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, the set's gonna be short, but whatever, 420 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,640 Speaker 2: I'm going out on a high. And then as I'm 421 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 2: leaving the venue, she's outside in the hallway and I'm like, 422 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 2: oh fuck, and she looks at me like none of 423 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 2: that ever even happened, and she was like, what, so, 424 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:51,399 Speaker 2: can I get a sound failing you? And I was 425 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 2: like really, it's like her brain just control all deleted everything. 426 00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:57,880 Speaker 3: And she was like, what's up. 427 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 2: She's like, I had a great time to do and 428 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:03,359 Speaker 2: like no anger. She was just like, whoa, that was fun, 429 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:06,520 Speaker 2: Like comedy, That's what a comedy show is. Like, I 430 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 2: was like, didn't I just like destroy your life fifteen ways? 431 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 3: Everybody said that you were trying to blow your brother 432 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,040 Speaker 3: And now she's just like, hey, yeah, she's just. 433 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:25,639 Speaker 2: Like that was fun. Comedy shows are crazy. 434 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 4: With Aeric Codre, with Aeric Condrey. 435 00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,200 Speaker 2: Well, what's the worst you've ever seen? 436 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:34,520 Speaker 4: Somebody? 437 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,680 Speaker 3: Mom, oh I have that. I wrote this one down too. 438 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 3: This was this was in Denver years ago. We were 439 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,320 Speaker 3: at this bar called the Lions. Theyre yeah, and this guy. 440 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,720 Speaker 3: You know how when you first start comedy, there's these 441 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,199 Speaker 3: guys who were like, you were technically a comic, but 442 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,480 Speaker 3: mostly you're just like trying to stay out of jail, 443 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,359 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Yeah, don't like these guys 444 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,200 Speaker 3: on that. I mean, everybody you start. 445 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 2: With is a total psychopath. 446 00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,199 Speaker 3: Yeah, one hundred percent. Like in the beginning, it's like 447 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,959 Speaker 3: all crazy people. 448 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,960 Speaker 2: In the beginning, you're surrounded by loonatics. 449 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. So this was one of those guys and we 450 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 3: were at the Lions. 451 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:10,960 Speaker 2: Like where's the Lions Layer. 452 00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:14,240 Speaker 3: It's off a Colfax in Denver, like the old Colfax 453 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,440 Speaker 3: if you remember, it was pretty pretty wild. 454 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 2: Is it like a comedy club? 455 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:18,199 Speaker 4: What is it? 456 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,560 Speaker 3: No, it's just a bar. It's just a a shitty bar, 457 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 3: a dive. But it's classic. But we were the Lions. 458 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 3: Like this guy comes in with this girl and he's 459 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 3: like one of those guys he's just known for being 460 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,159 Speaker 3: nuts or whatever. And he goes on stage and he 461 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,639 Speaker 3: does this whole bombing, does this whole bit about how 462 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 3: much he loves this girl named Allison, who was the 463 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 3: girl he brought, and he's saying crazy. He's like, oh 464 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,639 Speaker 3: my god, he's like declaring his love for He says it. 465 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000 Speaker 2: How is she reacting? 466 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 4: Bro? 467 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,959 Speaker 3: He says. At one point he's like, he's like, I 468 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,600 Speaker 3: love you Allison. She is like if some guy came 469 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 3: in here and he had AIDS and he pulled out 470 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,320 Speaker 3: his dirty AIDS ridden dick and he said I would 471 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 3: have to suck that dick to save your life, I 472 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,640 Speaker 3: would do it to say you Allison. Right, So he's 473 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,680 Speaker 3: saying all this crazy shit bombing. The girl puts her 474 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 3: head in her hands like she's crying right the bar 475 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,240 Speaker 3: center of this guy Tony. He thinks that she's laughing 476 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,439 Speaker 3: because he thinks it's funny because he's a degenerate. So 477 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 3: she's crying with the head in their hands. Tony comes 478 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:27,359 Speaker 3: up and slaps her on the back. It's like like 479 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,200 Speaker 3: I know, right, And she's crying and Tony's like ha, 480 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 3: And then the comic asks her to marry him. He's like, 481 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 3: and Alison, just in front of here, in front of 482 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 3: all these people, I just want to ask, will you 483 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:43,359 Speaker 3: marry me? And she goes, you already know the answer, 484 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 3: and she runs out and he ran out. Oh my lord, 485 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:52,520 Speaker 3: it was really amazing. Why did that guy do this? 486 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:56,440 Speaker 3: Because he's crazy, man, because he's crazy. 487 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 2: In like a shitty dive bar, dude, like not a 488 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 2: romantic setting. 489 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 3: And she's crying into her hands and the bartenders just 490 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,720 Speaker 3: got his hand on her back like three times. This 491 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:09,000 Speaker 3: is great. Yeah, it was. 492 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 2: It was sucking aide, dick to save you. It's like, 493 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 2: no one asked you to say that's a crazy scenario. 494 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:18,359 Speaker 3: It was a crazy scenario. 495 00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 2: And it's not stand up. So it's just he's just 496 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,119 Speaker 2: bombing and he's like stinking. 497 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:23,280 Speaker 4: Up the room. 498 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 3: Everybody, and you know we're all up there just waiting 499 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:26,600 Speaker 3: to go, like. 500 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,639 Speaker 2: Just waiting to tell Joe j alright, Yeah. 501 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 3: I'm just joking about the bus. I was gonna tell 502 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,480 Speaker 3: And now you're gonna fucking talk about sucking aids. Dick. 503 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 3: Everybody eld me in the room is into this dude. 504 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 3: And then she ran out and he followed her. It 505 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,200 Speaker 3: is great. 506 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 2: Oh shit, that's fucking crazy. 507 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really good, really really good. 508 00:22:53,960 --> 00:23:04,360 Speaker 4: With a andre with a recdre. 509 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 2: What's the craziest ship you've ever seen in your life 510 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,639 Speaker 2: before your very very eyes. And it doesn't have to 511 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 2: be anything dark, oh like, but just like fucking Tony 512 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,680 Speaker 2: taking a big dump on the subway kind of wild. 513 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,639 Speaker 3: I don't know the craziest thing I've ever seen in 514 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,920 Speaker 3: my wife. That's a hard one. 515 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 2: It's a hard one I've seen. Yeah, it's hard. 516 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 4: It's hard. 517 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,119 Speaker 3: I saw three dudes banging it a hot and al 518 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,600 Speaker 3: kinta hot tub one. 519 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:37,280 Speaker 2: Time, just three boys having a good old time. 520 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, well I think I think it was two old 521 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:42,320 Speaker 3: dudes and then the younger one was a sex worker 522 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 3: because he was like way too hot for them. 523 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 2: Oh, it was like a lemon party. 524 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 3: I was opening for Stevo with the Bray Improv and 525 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 3: I don't have a car. You know, I don't drive, 526 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 3: so I had to get a spot at the Lakinta 527 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,159 Speaker 3: because I couldn't go back and forth to LA the 528 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 3: whole weekend. 529 00:23:57,280 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 2: Ah, dude, I fucking tub I'll give you a radulqude. 530 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,080 Speaker 2: I'm fucking these two guys. 531 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,560 Speaker 3: Later he didn't. He didn't, which sucks. So then I 532 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,920 Speaker 3: was just like I had like a couple of tall kids, 533 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 3: and I was like, but from what I saw around 534 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:15,520 Speaker 3: the corner, it looked like it was like a train, Like. 535 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 2: It was a dude the human centipede. 536 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what it looked like. But like I got there, 537 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 3: they split up. 538 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 2: You were you were a bit of a party Boober. Yeah, 539 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,399 Speaker 2: you're a cock blocker. Which it was weird because I 540 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:29,280 Speaker 2: wanted to be like, hey, they do it like I don't. 541 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 3: He got school, dude, whatever. It like, it's cool, it's 542 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:43,840 Speaker 3: reddit else I'm gonna go to be sad, like you're 543 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 3: having a better night. I bomb in front of Steven 544 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 3: did you bomb? I didn't do great. They just watched 545 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 3: Steve bo you know what I mean. So it's like 546 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:53,399 Speaker 3: anything else. 547 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:56,480 Speaker 2: Is not opening up for a celebrity is a tough 548 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:57,960 Speaker 2: fucking nugget. 549 00:24:58,280 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 3: It's I haven't really done it a lot. 550 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,120 Speaker 2: That's the hardest I ever bomb opening up for Chris Rock. 551 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:08,040 Speaker 2: I really, that's the hardest I bombed in like recent life. 552 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 2: CLOSEI recent life. I mean like the first like ten 553 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,480 Speaker 2: years of doing stand up is bombing. But like in 554 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 2: recent life, that was a fucking harsh. 555 00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:20,360 Speaker 3: Was it like a bill? Was it like a big venue, huge. 556 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:24,560 Speaker 2: Theater in New Orleans, huge beautiful theater, And I like 557 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 2: I never did great opening up for his audience. I 558 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 2: would just like hold my ground, you know. I would 559 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:35,400 Speaker 2: just do like short enough and well enough where they 560 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 2: like would to completely turn on me. But I was 561 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,399 Speaker 2: never lighting up the night sky right, but they let 562 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 2: you do it. But this night I was struggling so hard. 563 00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 2: My girlfriend came to the show the first three nights, 564 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,000 Speaker 2: so I was like really trying to fucking bring my 565 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 2: egg and then she left a day early. And then 566 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 2: the day she left and I didn't have the pressure 567 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,879 Speaker 2: of impressing her. I like kind of was phoning it 568 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:02,160 Speaker 2: in and not realizing it. And I was like halfway 569 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 2: through my set and then the crickets are getting louder, 570 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 2: and I wasn't really paying attention. Then I just hear 571 00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 2: this guy in the back go next, and I was like, 572 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 2: well and instead of instead of like just getting the 573 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 2: fuck out of there or trying to like roll into comedy, 574 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,240 Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, I turned into fucking 575 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,679 Speaker 2: what's that Patrick Swazy movie Roadhouse? I turned into a 576 00:26:23,680 --> 00:26:26,200 Speaker 2: guy from Roadhouse. I get up here, motherfucker and say 577 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,440 Speaker 2: that to my face. WHOA Because I was like gonna 578 00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,880 Speaker 2: try to like, yeah, I don't know. I turned into 579 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 2: like the bad guy from fucking Karate Kids. And I 580 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 2: was like because I was like, I was like, in 581 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 2: my mind, I'll get him up here and I'll roast 582 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 2: him and then like and like he's like, I'm not moving, 583 00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,359 Speaker 2: I'm not going up to you kidding me. I'm like 584 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 2: getting like an expensive seat. I'm just chilling in the 585 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,040 Speaker 2: back and making fun of you. And then I tried 586 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 2: to like and then after that, I tried to like 587 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 2: roll into another joke. I was like, Oh, anyway, Side 588 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 2: Belts a crazy show or whatever the fun and then 589 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:59,440 Speaker 2: uh boy did I bomb? And then I just remember this, 590 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,480 Speaker 2: It's like Puerto Rican, dude, in the front row looked 591 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,720 Speaker 2: up and he goes, come on, Eric, you can do 592 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 2: better than this. 593 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,320 Speaker 3: Oh no, because he loves like he. 594 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 2: Kind of liked me, and I was like, shit, man, 595 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 2: I can't. I can't, dude, I can't. I'm like, I 596 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,720 Speaker 2: just try to do I like try to end on 597 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,679 Speaker 2: my most universal joke with that Cuban sign and like 598 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 2: kind of got like a that, but I already like 599 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 2: fucking Cobra Kai dojo the fucking comper motherfuffer, Like like 600 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,080 Speaker 2: I got off stage in Hannibal was there. He's like, 601 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 2: this isn't a bar show. You can't be like come 602 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,119 Speaker 2: on up here, like just I'm like drunk at like 603 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,439 Speaker 2: a bar. This is like thousands of people man like 604 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:44,080 Speaker 2: they're not gonna go leave their seat to like what 605 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 2: fistfight you on stage? Like that's crazy? What do you 606 00:27:47,359 --> 00:27:50,920 Speaker 2: think's going on here? And uh, I just remember being 607 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:55,479 Speaker 2: dead devastated. But Chris and his tour managers were so 608 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,840 Speaker 2: sweet about it. They were like, oh yeah. Chris was like, oh, 609 00:27:57,920 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 2: give me a big hug, and he was like, ask 610 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 2: me what happened when Prince opened up for the Rolling Stones. 611 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 2: I go, what happened? And he goes people were like boo, 612 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,440 Speaker 2: like throwing bottles at prints, like get off the fucking stage. 613 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:08,800 Speaker 2: Would rolling stones? 614 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:09,920 Speaker 4: That makes me feel better. 615 00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,320 Speaker 2: That made me feel a little bit better. And then 616 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 2: his tour managers like old school dude who like tour 617 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 2: managed James Brown and Ship and he was like, ask 618 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,840 Speaker 2: me what happened when Chris played London? I go, what happened? 619 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 2: He goes, he bomb so fucking bad and it was 620 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,960 Speaker 2: our first show of the tour and I was like, 621 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,639 Speaker 2: oh yeah, and he goes and then he was so frustrated. 622 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,719 Speaker 2: He like went back to the club like as they 623 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:34,200 Speaker 2: were closing at eleven pm, and he's like, just get 624 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,399 Speaker 2: me back on stage, and he like proceeded to have 625 00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 2: like the best set of his life. He's like, bombing 626 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 2: makes you stronger, man, it doesn't make you weaker. He 627 00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:44,560 Speaker 2: was like an old like beat neck. Yeah he's really nice. 628 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,120 Speaker 2: So that made me feel better. 629 00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:48,360 Speaker 3: But I mean, do you like bombing? Are you one 630 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 3: of those guys who like some. 631 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 2: Common that's like nor McDonald said he had like bombing, 632 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,120 Speaker 2: And Kevin Barnett used to tell me yeah, Kevin, yeah, yeah, 633 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,080 Speaker 2: He's like I like that. The audience like paid all 634 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 2: his money they they thought me, and they're like pissed 635 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 2: about it, But I don't know. To me, I'm too sensitive. Man, 636 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,880 Speaker 2: I don't mind if if there's like a bunch of 637 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,240 Speaker 2: comics on the show and they're all bombing, then I'm okay. 638 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,640 Speaker 2: But it was just me bombing. It was like this 639 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 2: was the lineup for the show. By the way, it 640 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 2: was like Jeff Ross who crushed, then me who bombed, 641 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 2: then like Hannibal, then Dave Chappelle, then Chris Rock and 642 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:26,560 Speaker 2: they all like destroyed one. I was the one week link. 643 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,480 Speaker 2: It was a nightmare scenario. And I'm like up against 644 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 2: like like the Mount Rushmore stand up comedy, you. 645 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 3: Know what I mean, that's the worst. I remember one 646 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 3: time I opened for the Waynes Brothers and they wouldn't 647 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 3: even let me meet them, and then I ate a 648 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 3: bag of dicks and then they for real like I 649 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 3: didn't just like go home like on the Bart, like, 650 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:55,800 Speaker 3: oh dude. 651 00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,240 Speaker 2: It's a long Bart ride. 652 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:58,640 Speaker 3: It's like Tommy T's. It was like pleasant and it 653 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:03,160 Speaker 3: was like the last stop from the scene was like, man, yeah, 654 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 3: I don't like bombing either. I mean, it happens sometimes 655 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 3: I do get the only time I kind of like 656 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,400 Speaker 3: bombing is. Sometimes I'll get in my head where I'll 657 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 3: be like, for whatever reason, I'll decide that I don't 658 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 3: like them, yeah, and then and then I'll go up 659 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 3: and I have it in my head that I don't 660 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:19,760 Speaker 3: like them. So if I don't, if I don't do well, 661 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 3: I kind of feel. 662 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,719 Speaker 2: Okay about it, all right, David. They said it couldn't 663 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 2: be done, and we done this. 664 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 3: I said it couldn't be stopped. 665 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 2: I said it couldn't be started. We did it, all right, buddy, 666 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 2: It was great talking to you. If you come to 667 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,480 Speaker 2: New York, hit me ask I will, I will Denver, 668 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 2: I'll hit you up. Hell yeah, man, always a pleasure 669 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 2: with Are all right? Listen up? We got something special 670 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 2: for you. 671 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about 672 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. 673 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,840 Speaker 2: Now's your chance to tell me all about it way. 674 00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,320 Speaker 1: I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy What 675 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: the fuck was I thinking? 676 00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 2: What just happened? 677 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 4: Moment? 678 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,120 Speaker 1: So pick up your phone and dial seven one six bombing. 679 00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 1: That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty 680 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,240 Speaker 1: four and leave me a voicemail and we might just 681 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: play it on a future episode Bombing with Eric Andre 682 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 1: is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players 683 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,560 Speaker 1: Network and iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar. 684 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:25,560 Speaker 1: Our producer is Bei Wang, Our research assistant is David Carliner, 685 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 1: Our editor in sound designers Andy Harris, and our art 686 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,600 Speaker 1: is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and 687 00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: drop a review on your podcast app a choice