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Speaker 1: If somebody gave me enough money to live well off

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Speaker 1: of for the rest of my life without ever having

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Speaker 1: to work again. Oh, the things I would do for

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Speaker 1: you people, The places I would go, It's a whole

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Speaker 1: new Doctor SEUs book. I would just innovate everything. I

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Speaker 1: would be like, Boom, here's an electric car, boom, here's

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Speaker 1: a clean atmosphere. Boom. Here's a cure for cancer. Boom,

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Speaker 1: Here's uh uh sweet broccoli. I don't know what do

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Speaker 1: people want? Your skill set has a really expanded Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because I don't have to work for a living. That's

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Speaker 1: what you get. That's what you get. So all I'm

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Speaker 1: saying is I'm willing to test this. I'm willing to

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Speaker 1: make this a bet everybody wants to give me and sacrifice. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: go ahead, give me enough money for the rest of

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Speaker 1: my life, and by the end of my life, you

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Speaker 1: can be the one to tell me whether or not

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Speaker 1: I accomplished anything or not. I will sacrifice my career

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Speaker 1: for this human experience. Honestly, I'd probably still do this

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Speaker 1: show from time to time, from time to time to

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Speaker 1: like two or three episodes a month every now when

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Speaker 1: I feel like it. Yeah, I love doing this show.

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Speaker 1: It's the best job I've ever had, definitely easily. Um,

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Speaker 1: and I've had some cool jobs. You know, I've had

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Speaker 1: some bad jobs, but you have had some cool jobs.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I've ever had a cool job.

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Speaker 1: But well, you used to write recaps the podcast that

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Speaker 1: was there was a coolness to that. There was a

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Speaker 1: coolness to that. I suppose. Well, let's see in Ridiculous

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Speaker 1: Romance News, UM, sympathies out there across the world to

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Speaker 1: all the twenty six year old girls who are now

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Speaker 1: who are ineligible, ineligible to be Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend too old.

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Speaker 1: The graph aged out. The graph is shocking sounds because

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Speaker 1: it sounds like a joke, like ha ha, Yes, he

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Speaker 1: always breaks up with girls, but oh my god, it's

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Speaker 1: it's every time they turn by. Pretty impressive. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: We talked about this yesterday. Well, you you mentioned that

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Speaker 1: it's largely you think has to do with power and

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Speaker 1: control and you have you know, as your partner is

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Speaker 1: someone that you can influence right in a way. I

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Speaker 1: think I think that there is a sense of like

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Speaker 1: I like to feel like a guiding hand in my relationship,

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Speaker 1: and that right kind of and so I want to

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Speaker 1: be the one who like can answer your questions and

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Speaker 1: like give you my wisdom. You know, there's like that sense.

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Speaker 1: And then also I just feel as a woman who

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Speaker 1: is over thirty five now and getting older every day,

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Speaker 1: I'm just like, eventually you just get to a point

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Speaker 1: where you kind of just not taking a lot of

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Speaker 1: bullshit from people. And I'm like, I think when you're younger,

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Speaker 1: when you're a younger woman, you're willing to swallow a

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Speaker 1: lot more pun intended that an older woman does. And

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Speaker 1: maybe there's men who are just like, good, you don't

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Speaker 1: question me, you know what I mean, You're you're young,

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Speaker 1: and you don't know your boundaries necessarily it or whatever,

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Speaker 1: so I can really kind of mold you in a way.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. That's probably an uncharitable way of thinking

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Speaker 1: about it, but I don't think it's inaccurate or not

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Speaker 1: based on yeah, some truths, for sure. I consider there's

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Speaker 1: an element in addition to that of a of a

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Speaker 1: recognition of mortality or or trying not to rather. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know, somebody like Thenardo DiCaprio, who has been the

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Speaker 1: hot guy for so long, like he's always been Leonardo

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Speaker 1: DiCaprio right, and the idea of aging up out of

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Speaker 1: his identity must be very frightening to some degree too,

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Speaker 1: and I and I can't help but wonder if he

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Speaker 1: focuses on dating younger people because it makes him feel young,

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Speaker 1: It makes him feel I still got it. I'm still

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Speaker 1: accepted by the youth. Therefore, I'm basically the youth. And

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Speaker 1: I don't have to lose that sense of identity that

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Speaker 1: I have that the world gave to me because I've

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Speaker 1: always been this this icon. Hey, he doesn't want to

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Speaker 1: let that go, and it's this spear, and it's this immaturity,

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Speaker 1: this sort of inability to let go of that past self.

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Speaker 1: I think I don't know better yesterday, But no, I

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Speaker 1: I get that that makes sense to me, just feeling.

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Speaker 1: I did see someone jokes that, like, you know, to

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Speaker 1: to you and I and our age range of people,

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Speaker 1: you can still picture Leo from Titanic and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: But a lot of these twenty five year olds are

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Speaker 1: going to be like, hey, I'm dating the dirty guy

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Speaker 1: from the Revenuant. I like their first memory and he's

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Speaker 1: gonna be a lot older than ours. So even in

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Speaker 1: their minds, you know, they're not. They're not seeing that

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Speaker 1: baby face we are necessarily, so I think that's interesting too.

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Speaker 1: But I mean they may have started with Titanic, Romeo

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Speaker 1: and Juliet or what's eating Gilbert Grape who knows film,

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Speaker 1: But yeah, this girl he just broke up with was

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Speaker 1: born the year Titanic came out. Titanic is now too

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Speaker 1: old for Leo. I don't know. I mean, and you know,

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Speaker 1: it's probably not even a conscious thing, like you're talking,

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Speaker 1: not even like focusing on dating. It's just like that's

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Speaker 1: what I find myself attracted to, and there's an unconscious

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Speaker 1: reason for it that maybe you're not willing to examine.

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Speaker 1: And either it's and you know, it could be I'm

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Speaker 1: stuck in the past, or I don't want to admit

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Speaker 1: that I'm aging, or it could be I don't like

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Speaker 1: women who tell them who push back on me or

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Speaker 1: challenge me, and when I tell him to do something

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Speaker 1: or say something, be act a certain way or whatever,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like again, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to act like Leo's over here being medieval girlfriends, but anything,

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Speaker 1: but you know, you just see so like Dane Cook,

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Speaker 1: I think just and he did marry someone super super young,

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Speaker 1: and you're just like, I don't know. Sometimes I think

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Speaker 1: it's because you can't hold your own against a woman

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Speaker 1: your own age who's got her own agency and her

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Speaker 1: own idea about how she should be treated. And I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I'm sure it's a combination of those things.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we don't know the guy he might be.

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Speaker 1: We don't know the delight she might be. I mean,

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Speaker 1: totally domineering and like always screaming at him and stuff

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Speaker 1: too unlikely. Um, And there are plenty of strong minded

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Speaker 1: twenty something so I don't want to act like every

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Speaker 1: woman out there that's not twenty five and up doesn't

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Speaker 1: know herself something. But I think any woman who is

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Speaker 1: over twenty five would say I did change a lot

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Speaker 1: between five and thirty five or forty five and fifty.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you do. That's just how if you're doing

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Speaker 1: life right, I think you're progress and change. Um. So, anyway,

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Speaker 1: well we're here now, let's talk about Leonardo DiCaprio today. No,

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Speaker 1: but I will say it does sound like a story.

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Speaker 1: And it's one of the reasons I bring up because

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Speaker 1: we don't get into a lot of celebrity gossip on

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Speaker 1: this show. It's not really all that interesting until it's historical.

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Speaker 1: But this does almost feel like in a hundred years

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Speaker 1: or if this had happened a hundred years ago, we

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Speaker 1: might do an episode about the the famous actor who

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Speaker 1: could never date anyone over twenty five and all the time,

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Speaker 1: like each between each commercial break could be a different

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Speaker 1: girl friend that he broke up with right after her

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Speaker 1: twenty five birthday. What's the deal? Leonardo DiCaprio on the

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Speaker 1: twenty episode, right back in the year nine seven. You know, yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing robot arms because we're all in robot thoughties

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Speaker 1: in the future, back in nineteen I have to move

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Speaker 1: my hands around for a reason, like a robot. All

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Speaker 1: robots will be in the future now. But I um,

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Speaker 1: we are not here to talk about Leo. But we

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Speaker 1: did have a really good time with our Reddit episode,

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Speaker 1: Oh my God, and it was like more of a

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Speaker 1: hit than we would have thought. Yeah, y'all really seemed

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Speaker 1: to enjoy that. He went well and we like doing it.

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Speaker 1: Let's do another. I think that's a good idea. We're back.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna be diving into that cesspool of the internet. Reddit.

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Speaker 1: We found some great stories today about sexy stuff or

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Speaker 1: maybe the opposite some of these sex But yeah, we'll

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Speaker 1: throw out some of the questions that we saw and Reddit,

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Speaker 1: we'll give a few of our own answers if we

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Speaker 1: feel comfortable doing so. And uh, and we'll ask you

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Speaker 1: to send us yours too. So yeah, so let's let's

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Speaker 1: jump into this Reddit episode and and see what's going

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Speaker 1: on in the world of sex on Red. Let's go,

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Speaker 1: hey that French come listen. Well, Elia and Diana got

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Speaker 1: some stories to tell. There's no match making, no romantic tips.

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Speaker 1: It's just about pridiculous relationships a lover. It might be

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Speaker 1: any type of person at all, and abstract concept, our

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Speaker 1: concrete ball. But if there's a story, we're the second glance.

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Speaker 1: We'll show ridiculous roll a production of I Heart Radio. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so this is a real simple one to start off with.

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Speaker 1: It was just a straightforward question, real quick. Uh. This

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Speaker 1: user named your faith deaf Guy asked what is something

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Speaker 1: that you will not tolerate during sex? And I feel

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Speaker 1: like we know each other's answers to this question by now,

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Speaker 1: I would hope so you don't like the hand puppets?

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Speaker 1: IM sorry, you would think that as a theater person,

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Speaker 1: I would appreciate a little puppetry in the bedroom. But

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Speaker 1: some of the things you make them say it was

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Speaker 1: they're just trying to have fun. They got a lot

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Speaker 1: of puns. What can I say something less less than

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Speaker 1: you're saying now. The problem is what you always seem

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Speaker 1: to be bothered by is when everything stops and I

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Speaker 1: bust out the little stage, little punch and Judy stage,

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Speaker 1: roll it into the bedroom, bring down the curtain. But

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Speaker 1: I have a little cassette te put that orchestra music

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Speaker 1: on it as the opening play that the two puppets

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Speaker 1: come out, And then you make me pay a nickel

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Speaker 1: for it, and I'm like a nickel that nickel to

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Speaker 1: the grocery store, go to the n get twenty out

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Speaker 1: break the twenty, then break one of those dollars. It's

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Speaker 1: a whole. That's why we haven't had sex in months.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's why you keep interrupting with the

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Speaker 1: puppet stage. Jeez. Well, next time I won't invite you.

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Speaker 1: Me and my puppets will just have a show of

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Speaker 1: our own. Wow, all right, I'm not even necessary, very upsetting. Um.

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Speaker 1: And then what do you not like? I think you

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Speaker 1: just said it? What do I not like what do

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Speaker 1: you not like? Your hand puppets are great? I think you.

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Speaker 1: I like my show as well. I think about my audience.

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Speaker 1: I think, I think for both of us. Legit answer

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Speaker 1: is bodily fluids. I think, yeah, no, East, you can

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Speaker 1: be involved waste. I don't want any any I don't

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Speaker 1: need blood, spit, waste, nothing. I don't want any of that.

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Speaker 1: There's only one type of fluid I'm interested in during sex,

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Speaker 1: and it's sexy and even then little. Yeah, I'm not

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Speaker 1: m I like my sex as dry as the desert.

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Speaker 1: That's what I like. I just wanted to be like

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Speaker 1: two pieces of cardboard rubbing together. Yeah, that's why I'll

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Speaker 1: tune into this show to get turned on two pieces

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Speaker 1: of cardboard sand paper. Alright, paper, I don't know. You

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Speaker 1: don't have to go with a rough texture. I like rough.

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Speaker 1: What can I say? Thanks? All right, well, how about

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Speaker 1: some of these ready dry, dry and rough? Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: give me that level. There's gonna be no splinters after

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Speaker 1: this sex, smooth sailing. Alright. Well, if anyone's left, we'll

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Speaker 1: read some of these. It's the responses now. Mr Jonathan

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Speaker 1: Crouch ready user said, licking my goddamn eyeball. I had

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Speaker 1: a friend in high school who dated a guy who

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Speaker 1: liked to lick eyeballs, and she thought it was hot.

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Speaker 1: This guy was very sexy, bad boy. Yeah, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: but there's something very fucking gross about that. To me,

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Speaker 1: tell us how you really feel. Maybe I don't know

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Speaker 1: because I wear contacts, which means you have to put

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Speaker 1: your fingers in your eye much grocer, I guess, but

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Speaker 1: I don't know it just no, that's just a note

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Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, I'll say that as well. I don't

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Speaker 1: like things touching my eye. You what is the of

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Speaker 1: licking an eyeball? Is it like a feeling? I shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be doing this like that. It's like boundaries. Can you

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Speaker 1: break in the name of intimacy? What's left? What's what's

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Speaker 1: it's the final frontier your eyeball. I'm boldly going no

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Speaker 1: tongue has gone before? Uh user, the fact said, refusing

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Speaker 1: to call me Santa unacceptable. I asked for one thing.

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Speaker 1: I mean, but does he commit? Is he dressed up

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Speaker 1: in the station? Is he bringing? I mean, is he

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Speaker 1: like setting out milk and cookies? Oh? Were you a

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Speaker 1: good girl? That's you? You tell me Santa? Oh? Let

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Speaker 1: me just check my list here, Oh very not what's

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Speaker 1: going to happen to me? Here's your coal? Bye? And

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Speaker 1: then I climb up the chimney and you never see

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Speaker 1: me again until next year. How do I do well?

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Speaker 1: If you like it rough and dry? Nothing better to

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Speaker 1: get than a chart over gets fair enough? How about

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Speaker 1: when asked something you will not tolerate during sex users,

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Speaker 1: the angry arcanists said, non constructive comments about my performance.

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Speaker 1: I want to improve, Cheryl. I don't need criticism, I

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Speaker 1: need advice. That's that makes sense to me. Okay, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like, don't just say this is bad, I don't

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Speaker 1: like it, Say hey, stop putting coal in my bedroom? Fair?

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Speaker 1: All right, now I've learned. Now next year I'll come

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Speaker 1: with a present. Yeah exactly, Santa, maybe you should learn

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Speaker 1: to be nice and listen? How am I going to

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Speaker 1: get harnessed like a reindeer girl? Okay, okay, see now

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Speaker 1: you've said what you want and now we learned, and

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Speaker 1: now when next December rolls around, we can try it.

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Speaker 1: It's all about communication. Yes, user wing light said sand

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Speaker 1: no sand anywhere? Please? Oh Anakin's that you course? But

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Speaker 1: honestly dry, dry, rough and dry. It just depends on

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Speaker 1: how you like. I've never understood beach sex sounds like

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Speaker 1: a nightmare. First of all, you've never been more exposed.

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Speaker 1: It's not not a not a not a shrub, so

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Speaker 1: anyone within like five meters. I guess I don't know

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Speaker 1: why I'm going to switch to metrics. What is gonna

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Speaker 1: see what's going on? And then on top of that,

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Speaker 1: the elements. Can we talk about the elements? So many elements,

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Speaker 1: the salt water, the sand crabs would can you imagine

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Speaker 1: rolling over on a jelly fish? Not really? And I

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Speaker 1: don't like, like, oh do that again? And she's like,

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Speaker 1: I did, I didn't do anything. I love it. I

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Speaker 1: love A little sting during sex really wakes me up.

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Speaker 1: Honey grabbed the Portuguese man of war. I like to

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Speaker 1: be poisoned. Do you want me to pee on it? No?

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Speaker 1: I told you I don't like that. Yeah, maybe that's

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Speaker 1: a can't grows like I'd like to be pete on,

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Speaker 1: but it has to immediately follow a jellyfish sting. Otherwise

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Speaker 1: it's not hot life neutralizing the venom. It's all about

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Speaker 1: the pH balance. For me, I find it so hot

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Speaker 1: when you balance my pH alright. User Foxy Gurley said,

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Speaker 1: once had an X who said he wanted to kill

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Speaker 1: me and screw my body. Wasn't with him for very long.

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Speaker 1: L m a O, she state Army hammer, Right, what

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Speaker 1: a weird thing to say, especially you've got one of

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Speaker 1: the context here too. Was she like, hey, tell me

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Speaker 1: your deepest, darkest secret. And he was like, all right,

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Speaker 1: well you know what, Like I don't. I don't necessarily

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Speaker 1: like it about myself, but I have this interesting thing.

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Speaker 1: It's if you're gonna think it's weird, and that's fine,

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Speaker 1: like forget I ever said, Okay, all right, well I

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Speaker 1: kind of like there's I had this impulse that I

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Speaker 1: like want to kill you and like have sex with

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Speaker 1: your corpse. I'm sorry, it's so strange, Okay, which part

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Speaker 1: is more of a red flag? I want to kill

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Speaker 1: you or and then have sex with your corps because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, I feel that if he was like,

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Speaker 1: if you died, I have this impulse that I would

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Speaker 1: then have sex with your corpse. We already have an

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Speaker 1: issue there, but now you're saying, also on top of that,

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Speaker 1: you would like to murder me in order to achieve

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Speaker 1: this ambition. No, thank you you need to be out

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Speaker 1: of my house. Well, because I suppose someone couldn't help that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you can't. You can't just turn off the kink,

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Speaker 1: yeah right, you can't. Can't argue with a turn on

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Speaker 1: brain works. But so if if someone who did would never,

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Speaker 1: would never harm. Somebody has that impulse, how else could

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Speaker 1: they find someone who would be into it. It's got

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Speaker 1: to be a website for that, where someone can be like,

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Speaker 1: I like to pretend to be a corpse. I just

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Speaker 1: need to find someone who's into that. It's definitely a corpse,

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Speaker 1: like I need rotting flesh smell, right right, No I don't,

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Speaker 1: I don't. Now that's see, that's too far. That's necrophilia.

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Speaker 1: That's too far. Well yeah, because that's actual necrophilia and

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Speaker 1: not just like I'm into this fantasy. Okay. You know

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Speaker 1: you're saying, okay, okay, okay, So you're saying someone might

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Speaker 1: want to pretend that someone is dead. Yeah, they don't

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Speaker 1: actually want a cold, stiff body underneath. I assume that

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Speaker 1: that it's more common than the other. Well, you know

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00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:08,720
Speaker 1: what they say about assuming. I mean, I mean that's fair. Look,

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Speaker 1: I just said generally, I think people's kinks are more

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Speaker 1: about the play and the fantasy than the reality of it,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I don't really you know,

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Speaker 1: someone would be like, I don't really want you to

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Speaker 1: handcuff me to uh to a steel frame and electrocut me.

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Speaker 1: I just want to do it in like the kinky way,

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Speaker 1: right or like um the something I cannot get into

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Speaker 1: is a RT fantasy. I mean, I know there's people

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Speaker 1: out there who have them. Before I would be miserable,

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Speaker 1: but I know that the idea is like I don't

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Speaker 1: want to Actually, the consent is already there. It's just

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Speaker 1: that I would like the experience of not consenting while

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Speaker 1: still consenting. That is uh I it boggles my mind

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Speaker 1: just because I can't. I would not appreciate it. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess you're right there. They don't really want to

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Speaker 1: be raped. That is what they want. Typically when it

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Speaker 1: comes to kink and role play and stuff. That's when

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Speaker 1: it's like, but I will say in Foxy Gurli's defense

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Speaker 1: here and and to your to your to your point,

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Speaker 1: she did say, I once had an ex who said

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Speaker 1: he wanted to kill me and screw my body, So

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Speaker 1: you know I don't The point is they're not together anymore,

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Speaker 1: and it's probably the best. Are the two related? Who knows?

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Speaker 1: Not for me to say, um, ergonomic humans said one time,

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Speaker 1: instead of calling me daddy, my ex called me dad

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Speaker 1: to funk with me. I did not like. That's so different.

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Speaker 1: Dad's too far that so should we take this to

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Speaker 1: the bedroom? Oh? Yeah, who's my bad girl? I am dad? What?

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Speaker 1: I borrowed the car and I didn't feel up the

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Speaker 1: gas tank. Teach me a list. I don't think that's

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Speaker 1: what we're trying to do. Dad. Are you still watching

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00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,840
Speaker 1: yellow Stone? I'm completely disinterested, but you can recap last

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Speaker 1: week's episode. Okay, this is not father. I paid for

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00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,840
Speaker 1: the premium service when I got my oil chain. Wait,

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00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 1: you did what battle me? Okay, now that one we

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Speaker 1: have to talk about. I know that's so formal, it's

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00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 1: so too much daddy. Daddy is never about being your father. No,

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Speaker 1: dad is for father's only, not for sex partners. Daddy

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Speaker 1: is a completely different title as I understand it, um,

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Speaker 1: And it's not meant to be like I'm related to you,

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Speaker 1: you know, burst and raised you. No no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: no no name, new name. Now, I'm sure that really cool?

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Speaker 1: Things off ergonomic human. It's gonna be rough and dry tonight. Um, well,

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Speaker 1: let's go, let's cool ourselves off here a little bit

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Speaker 1: with a break, and when we come back, we'll talk

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Speaker 1: about some people's worst sexual stories because we started the

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Speaker 1: episode of necrophilia and so it can only go downhill. Look,

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Speaker 1: there's some good stuff coming up, so stay tuned. We're

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Speaker 1: right back. Welcome back to Reddit. All right, everybody. So,

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Speaker 1: a user kaleidoscope one asked a very important question on Reddit.

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Speaker 1: They said, what is your worst sexual story? Diana? Do

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Speaker 1: you care to share my worst sexual story? No? No,

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00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:41,400
Speaker 1: probably one time is like making out, you know, heavy

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Speaker 1: pett we're necking, necking in the car. We're young, and

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Speaker 1: they were like seventeen eighteen or something like that. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, I guess it's probably least twenty.

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Speaker 1: But anyway, with my eggs. We're in the car by

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Speaker 1: a park and I have my pants off, you know,

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Speaker 1: we're getting dirty, and a cop showed up and like

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Speaker 1: shined his flashlight, like do I clear my vagina? You

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Speaker 1: can't be after eleven me? Oh no, that was probably

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Speaker 1: the worst. It was very embarrassing. Wow, you literally just

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Speaker 1: completely undermined mine because it's very similar. Oh, I know,

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Speaker 1: you have a cop. We were in the car, cop

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Speaker 1: us interrupt us. But here's the thing. We were in

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Speaker 1: the car in a parking lot and a car just

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Speaker 1: drove by us from behind, and like we saw some

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Speaker 1: headlights flash in the window, and we like stopped and

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Speaker 1: you know, kind of ducked down and tried to hide,

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00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:38,000
Speaker 1: and then they drove away. So it wasn't quite as

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00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 1: I think nobody's trying to flashlight directly at us. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know if it was a cop. If they

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Speaker 1: saw us, got a real eye full of me. I'll

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Speaker 1: say that, and I did not appreciate it. I did.

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Speaker 1: I did have a cop. I was with a girlfriend

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Speaker 1: up by the river. But we had like one of

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00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,920
Speaker 1: these riverside parks at like twilight dusk, like it was

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00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: getting dark, and we were literally just hanging out. We

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00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: were just like took a walk, old hands watching the

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00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 1: ducks sleep. Nice, nice old lady, A little old couple.

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00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: You're like a little old couple. I mean, we went

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00:24:11,119 --> 00:24:13,840
Speaker 1: home and got crazy, but we were just at the parkerts.

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00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: It was a nice night and we get to get

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Speaker 1: out that much, and all of a sudden you see

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00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: this light come on behind us. It's real bright. And

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00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,360
Speaker 1: we turn around and this guy is like I could

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00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 1: not see him. He's like positioned himself in front of

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00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 1: his like car searchlight and we're this like suburban park

394
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Speaker 1: in the middle of you know, the happiest place on earth.

395
00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: And he's screaming at us like just stand up slowly,

396
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:41,480
Speaker 1: turn around slow and I'm like already, have my hands

397
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: in my pockets and he's like, gets your od s pockets,

398
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 1: get yours at your pockets, like insane, Like it was

399
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Speaker 1: the scariest thing. I thought he was gonna shoot us both.

400
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,639
Speaker 1: And then eventually it's just like, well the parks closed,

401
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 1: it dark. We're like okay, so we'll just go. He's like, yeah,

402
00:24:55,960 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 1: you better get home. What a gas irritated and he

403
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: was just swinging his stick around because he has nothing

404
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,399
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, he wished he was stationed like in

405
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 1: New York City where like guns are going off. Yeah,

406
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: he has this fantasy image about what's he's that he's

407
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 1: Bruce Willis and I and he showed up at the

408
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: parking Fucking Hans Gruber's there with his girlfriends. He's the

409
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:28,040
Speaker 1: only one who can really save marry it up. Oh

410
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:32,400
Speaker 1: that was annoying, but not a sex story. Sorry, wow, everybody,

411
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: just I just called out the puppet show. Sorry? How

412
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: about some of these? How about some of these? Well?

413
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 1: Crimson Baryl said she and her wife decided to have

414
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: a foursome with a straight couple named Kevin and Carlo.

415
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 1: Oh very nice hot. Kevin was apparently super awkward the

416
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:59,159
Speaker 1: whole time, and Crimson Baryl said, quote, I had a

417
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 1: position I thought everyone would be happy with, but Kevin

418
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 1: just lost interest and left the room. Kevin, what are

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00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 1: you doing? Kevin? We need to talk about Kevin goes

420
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: on to say, quote found out later he didn't like

421
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 1: the fact that my strap on was bigger than his dick.

422
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: How insecure does the dude have to be or ruin

423
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 1: a foursome with three women? Curiously, Kevin, Then Kevin, it's okay, buddy, Kevin,

424
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 1: no once comparing them and going wow, he's not even

425
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 1: as big as this artificial dick that was literally designed

426
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: to be bigger than dicks. That's why it's so funny

427
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 1: when dudes don't like vibrators, because it's like it's your

428
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 1: dick cannot vibrate. That is not something you're capable of.

429
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,600
Speaker 1: Maybe you just can't make it vibrate. Have you ever

430
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 1: thought about that look inward? Oh Kevin, need to fix

431
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: that because you had you had a fantasy going on

432
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: in your bedroom. The thing is, it sounds like this

433
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 1: was Kevin's worst sexual experience. Maybe, Oh my god, I

434
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,120
Speaker 1: didn't think about that. Poor Kevin. He was like, man,

435
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 1: I had these three ladies and I could not hang

436
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: and I was not hung. There you go, there you go.

437
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 1: You got the rim shot in this one. It could

438
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: have been Kevin's but it was fine, all right. Well,

439
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 1: this person tabled the bill said that senior year of college,

440
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,879
Speaker 1: he took a girl back to his bedroom. She started

441
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 1: giving him a hand job, and after a few minutes

442
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: she started crying. He said. Quote. I asked her why

443
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: she's crying, and she says, I'm thinking about all the

444
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: kids in the Sudan who are dying right now. So

445
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 1: I tell her we can stop, but she insists on

446
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 1: continuing and doesn't stop crying. Apologizing for crying or jerking

447
00:27:55,640 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: me off about your dick is making her think about

448
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: people starving. She just she just that's where she goes. Also,

449
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:12,800
Speaker 1: it's just Sudan. I don't think it's the Oh my god, no,

450
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,199
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know what it is. She's got

451
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 1: going on where she just can't she can't kiss. She's

452
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: just a bleeding heart, you know, I guess, just always worried.

453
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: Do we talk about virtue signal signaling and this seems

454
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:30,320
Speaker 1: like the biggest impossible virtue signal? Oh no, oh yeah,

455
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: you're so hot? Yeah? Yeah, you like how hot? That is? Hot? Yea,

456
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 1: so hot? Almost almost as hot as our planet is getting. Yeah, sure,

457
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,320
Speaker 1: baby hot. I mean even if it rises by one

458
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: more degree in here, there could be massive flooding in

459
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: the global refugee crisis, the likes of which we ever seen,

460
00:28:53,440 --> 00:29:01,440
Speaker 1: starving entire ecosystems. No, baby, stop you No, the oil

461
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: companies are the ones you should stop. Future generations will

462
00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: suffer for our arrogance and our self is obsession with

463
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:10,959
Speaker 1: excessive comfort. And hey, y said, don't stop. And then

464
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 1: at the end he's like, see, I'm a good person. Yeah,

465
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,920
Speaker 1: unlike all the people who have sex and don't think

466
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: about what do you mean you had sex last night

467
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: and you didn't even consider all of the starving children

468
00:29:24,880 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 1: in Ethiopia. Right now, there's an energy crisis in England

469
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: right now, and historic flooding in Pakistan and you're just

470
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 1: laying there sixty nine in your life away while the

471
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: biggest drought to ever hit Spain in twelve hundred years

472
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,720
Speaker 1: is ravaging Western Europe. And don't know if you hurt.

473
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: But there's a war in Ukraine right now. Don't stop.

474
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 1: I'd be like, all right, I don't want to fuck

475
00:29:56,720 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: n PR. Let's look at another one. How do they

476
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:09,040
Speaker 1: get any better than that? Uh? User? Ted Bundy red

477
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,000
Speaker 1: flag right there? Feel like we should just kick him

478
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: off the platform altogether now. Ted Bundy was in a

479
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: bad relationship with a woman who was a bit too controlling,

480
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: and she had a strict schedule for them. Quote nine

481
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 1: pm we would have sex, then at ten we would fight,

482
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:29,360
Speaker 1: and at eleven maybe go to bed. Sex every day

483
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: is fine until you schedule it, and then it's like

484
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 1: doing the dishes. He said he was feeling sick one

485
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 1: night and told her that he had an upset stomach,

486
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 1: to which she replied that he must be cheating on her,

487
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 1: and that's why I didn't want to have sex. Girl.

488
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: Sometimes your stomach herts. So he finally caves said she

489
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: was lifeless, and he did all the work. Where's our

490
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: necrophiliac guy? This was his dream scenario quote, Well, all

491
00:30:56,320 --> 00:31:00,600
Speaker 1: that motion makes things worse. I stopped. She asked, did

492
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:04,600
Speaker 1: you come? Before I can answer, I just vomit all

493
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 1: over her and the bed ship storm of the century

494
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: while she runs to the shower and I clean up

495
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: the bed. Oh my god, Oh my gosh. She deserved that, honestly. Well,

496
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: what did I say earlier? No vomit. We said it

497
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 1: right up top the episode. She's someone who vomits when

498
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 1: she sees vomit, and then it's just a vomit cycle,

499
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: on and on. Someone's probably vomiting right now. That is

500
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: so fucking gross. I don't know that I would ever

501
00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: have sex again if I got vomit. I would be like,

502
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:48,920
Speaker 1: I can't I have PTSD. Oh my god, VTSD. Well, yeah,

503
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: I gotta go take a shower real quick. Definitely after

504
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 1: that one when we come back. I mean, that was Kevin,

505
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 1: that was table the bill, getting the crying hand job,

506
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: and of course Ted Bundy barfing Allo where his over

507
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: controlling girlfriend. Incredibly, I hope they're not together anymore because

508
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: that's crazy, that's too much. But when we come back.

509
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 1: Somebody said, specifically, girls, what was your worst sexual experience? Girls? Specifically?

510
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 1: You know that those are going to be very extreme.

511
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: I can't wait. Yes, we'll be right back and welcome

512
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: back to the show. Everybody, all right? So, yeah, we

513
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: were asked, girls, what was your worst sexual experience? By

514
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 1: the King of fall Kings, of the King of fal Kings,

515
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: the King of falal Kings, but of them all Lord Autumn,

516
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 1: you may call me the King oh fal Kings. So

517
00:32:53,600 --> 00:33:01,560
Speaker 1: he's Irish too, but how follow the best? I am

518
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 1: the King. Yeah, I meant to say, the King of

519
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 1: all Kings. Have to call in and tell us which

520
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: it is in our calling show that we have. The

521
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 1: board is lighting up. Somebody calls coming in all right.

522
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: This user, who has since been deleted apparently because this

523
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:30,240
Speaker 1: post right said quote, I was having sex with a

524
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: new boyfriend for the first time and I had a seizure.

525
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: He didn't realize what was happening at first and finished,

526
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: To be fair, I hadn't had a seizure in years,

527
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: and he didn't know that I had epilepsy. Feels like

528
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: you should let a bit you know, if you have well,

529
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: I mean, if you haven't had an issue in years.

530
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: He was like, Wow, she's really feeling it. Was doing

531
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:57,880
Speaker 1: something right now, She's like drooling at the mouth. This

532
00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 1: is like the opposite of someone playing dead. She's like

533
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 1: flopping all over the place, over the place, a lot

534
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: of energy. Awkward. He must have felt terrible. I'm sright right,

535
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: I feel hopefully. Oh my god, I would have stopped.

536
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 1: Why didn't you say anything? And she's like, because I

537
00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 1: was having a seizure? Well because what? Then? Then he

538
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,640
Speaker 1: at some point he finished and was like, oh did

539
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,840
Speaker 1: you finish too? Hey are you Oh you're still twitching.

540
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:28,000
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, something's wrong here, your eyes breaking your head?

541
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 1: Let me get a spoon. I don't know. That's I

542
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 1: really would like to know the aftermath, like how did

543
00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: they figure out that it was a seizure? They treat it?

544
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 1: Did it just end? And she was like, yeah, by

545
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 1: the way, that was a seat. That's not how I

546
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: that's not what it's like. Did I come just don't

547
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,920
Speaker 1: want it at a house on a manager expectations from now,

548
00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:56,360
Speaker 1: I don't know. Always start bombing at the mouth. He's like, listen, fellows,

549
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 1: I've sucked this girl so hard to us and as

550
00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:02,960
Speaker 1: you get rabid, you know the like, no, it's a

551
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:08,240
Speaker 1: medical condition. Okay, here's one from another user who deleted

552
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,880
Speaker 1: their profile so it doesn't show their name. Um, but

553
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: they said this is They said, I once had a

554
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 1: guy asked to fuck my armpit, which is weird, right,

555
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:22,279
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's strange, who would want that?

556
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:26,760
Speaker 1: But my favorite part is that another user replied, that's

557
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: called bagpiping. Oh I was bagpiping this girl last night.

558
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:40,359
Speaker 1: What is that armpit? It's when you go between her

559
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: chest at her arm and it's that sweat. Sorry, that

560
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,960
Speaker 1: was just the funniest thing I read all day. That's

561
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: so funny. I love that someone's like, oh, no, no,

562
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,800
Speaker 1: I know what this is called. I should really step

563
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: in and educate the rest of the users. Thank you

564
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,360
Speaker 1: because I didn't know that. So I do. I do

565
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 1: have more information. He's like, I've been in the bagpiping

566
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 1: community for a number of years, now, ask me anything.

567
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 1: You know. Consent is key, as as as always got

568
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,839
Speaker 1: to make sure that you ask someone before you start

569
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:17,960
Speaker 1: blowing their bagpipes. Does it actually make like a fart noise?

570
00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: Like when you put your look in my mind, it

571
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 1: makes a full on bagpipe noise. So who knows, maybe

572
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: there's no such thing as bagpipes, and this whole time

573
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 1: just been fucking armpits all up and down the moors.

574
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 1: I think, well, so the entirety of Scotland may call

575
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,600
Speaker 1: into our switchboard here and let us know if you'd

576
00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: care to comment. Another deleted user. Wow, these ladies are like,

577
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell my worst sex story and then get

578
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: the hell up and reddit forever. I do not blame

579
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 1: them at all, they say, was giving this really attractive,

580
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: well endowed guy a blowjob. As he nears climax, he says, am,

581
00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:04,359
Speaker 1: I am yes, yes, I'm coming. I am the fucking champions.

582
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: I love that he's confused at first, like, am I,

583
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,520
Speaker 1: oh my god, I am right, That's what it feels like,

584
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: goes on to say. Then he just sort of lay

585
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:22,879
Speaker 1: their eyes closed, randomly shaking every few seconds. I said

586
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: his name a few times, and he was just blacked

587
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:29,360
Speaker 1: out or something. I was so embarrassed. Embarrassed, girl, you

588
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:36,320
Speaker 1: knocked out the champion, girls, the champion. That sounds like

589
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: you're the champion. Are you sure he wasn't having a seizure.

590
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: I was about to say, maybe that's insane. I am

591
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 1: the fucking champion. That's some Patrick Bateman level. Uh. Just

592
00:37:56,480 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 1: masculinity right there, girl, Then I can ejaculate who I'm

593
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:11,360
Speaker 1: the king. I did have a friend once sleep with

594
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 1: a guy and she called me like the day after,

595
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 1: like I have to I have to tell someone. And

596
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 1: I was like, what's going on? And she said we

597
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:24,760
Speaker 1: were doing it? And he goes, oh my god, I'm coming.

598
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: I'm coming like a train. What what look? Sometimes they

599
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 1: at the moment you don't know what you're saying, like

600
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: a train, but coming like a train. And I just

601
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 1: have to wonder what train he was picturing? Right? Are

602
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,640
Speaker 1: we talking about like a Hogwarts Express? Are we talking

603
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:50,720
Speaker 1: about like tiny three tend Yuma Hogwarts Express or Bullet

604
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:55,520
Speaker 1: train in Shanghai? Like what train were you think picturing

605
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:59,840
Speaker 1: in your mind? God? Wow, like Thomas the tank Engine

606
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:08,960
Speaker 1: coming Like Thomas the Tanken. God, what a what a

607
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 1: thing to scream I'm coming like a train? Not no

608
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 1: one ever says, oh, I guess you say the trains coming. Yes,

609
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: it's not like something I would associate trains. They often

610
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:25,919
Speaker 1: come like they often come and go. Even I wish

611
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:31,759
Speaker 1: you chew chewed? Oh my god, I think I can.

612
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: I think I can. I think I can. Come. Come,

613
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: come on, this is a dirty episode. I hope nobody's

614
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 1: sons are listening. I hope they are and they learned something.

615
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: Don't say that. Don't tell you party you want to

616
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: kill them and fund their corp. Yes, I'm just saying.

617
00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,800
Speaker 1: I just feel like that's probably not a good idea.

618
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 1: All right. Well, here's our final worst sex story from

619
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 1: a woman. Um. This is from a redd user named

620
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: somewhat Raven. Great, great screen. That's wonderful. Handle. She also

621
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:08,919
Speaker 1: said in the post that she has told this story

622
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,480
Speaker 1: a few times on Reddit. So and and she should.

623
00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:14,080
Speaker 1: She should get a lot out of this. She deserves it,

624
00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:18,320
Speaker 1: all right. So, she was dating a guy for about

625
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: a month. They were taking things slow, even though there

626
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,239
Speaker 1: was a ton of sexual tension between them, and on

627
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 1: his birthday they were hanging out their partying, they got

628
00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:31,000
Speaker 1: really drunk and they ended up back at his place.

629
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 1: She said she could not wait to bang this guy

630
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 1: right and just spent tension building waiting for the right time.

631
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 1: M this is gonna be good. Kinda walked through the door.

632
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna immediately strip oh, she said. Quote we go

633
00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 1: to his room, where I had never been, and he's

634
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: obviously still wasted, and he mumbles something about not having

635
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,279
Speaker 1: much time to clean lately. As he's opening the door,

636
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:02,719
Speaker 1: he turned on his light and I literally gasped. His

637
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: room was fucking filthy. He had no bed, just a

638
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: mattress on the floor, dirty laundry everywhere, empty beer cans

639
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:15,320
Speaker 1: and DVDs and dishes on the floor, and it smelled

640
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 1: like rotting food. I'm there, I'm in it story and

641
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:27,920
Speaker 1: in this room, in this room, right yeah, I like

642
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: bought weed in this room in college and then immediately left.

643
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,800
Speaker 1: It was like, thanks, Hope, I never see you again,

644
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: but I will because you're my week in three weeks,

645
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 1: all right. So she says she did all these mental

646
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: gymnastics to try and convince herself whatever she needed to

647
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,680
Speaker 1: convince herself of, to stay there so she could screw

648
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 1: this guy, really this guy. She helped him clean up.

649
00:41:56,040 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 1: She took a few more shots smart and then they

650
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: turned the lights down, she said, quote enough that I

651
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 1: could almost ignore my surroundings, and then they started making out.

652
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,919
Speaker 1: Before long, she noticed that he was crying. I don't

653
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: think he was thinking about the Sudan. He was like,

654
00:42:18,320 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 1: I'm just so worried about global politics. Though then she says,

655
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: they're making out. He's crying, and then he quote jumps

656
00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:32,800
Speaker 1: up naked, flips on the lights and points to his

657
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: flaccid penis and gestures a big shrug. Then like he's

658
00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 1: the announcer at the circus, says, and here, ladies and gentlemen,

659
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:49,879
Speaker 1: is the star of the show. Oh my begged him

660
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 1: to calm down. Quote, but he completely ignores me, like

661
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 1: I'm not even in the room. It's just him and

662
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: his penis. And now they're having an argument. He is

663
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:03,320
Speaker 1: mad at his penis. He scalds his penis for always

664
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,800
Speaker 1: fucking everything up? Why do you always do this to

665
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,319
Speaker 1: me every time? What is wrong with you? Why are

666
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 1: you doing this now? Of course, she says, she's scared

667
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 1: out of her mind because it's what she called, quote

668
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 1: literally the craziest ship I have ever witnessed in my life.

669
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,760
Speaker 1: I think many of us might say that with you, Raven.

670
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: And then she's trying to talk him down and he's

671
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:29,680
Speaker 1: still just ignoring her. And so the second he turned

672
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: away from her, she grabbed her ship and she bolted

673
00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: for the door, which of course, was hard to get

674
00:43:35,080 --> 00:43:37,240
Speaker 1: to because of all the ship everywhere in his filthy

675
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: fucking room, and she says, quote, as I'm hopping my

676
00:43:40,680 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 1: way out, he's banging his fucking head against the walls

677
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 1: slowly and methodically slapping his penis or maybe giving it

678
00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 1: a spanking. In any case, it's apparently being punished. Oh

679
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:56,400
Speaker 1: my god. And then the kicker, she says, is that

680
00:43:56,640 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: as she's leaving her bedroom, he screams at her get

681
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: out of my house. Oh, and She's like, yeah, dude,

682
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,880
Speaker 1: way ahead of you. I mean, yeah, I am currently

683
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 1: doing that now. That's the most annoying ship ever is

684
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: when you're doing something and somebody tells you to do

685
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 1: I can't stand it. I'd be like, I could deal

686
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: with you slap in your own dick, but this is

687
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 1: too far. You have those old shitty retail jobs and

688
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,480
Speaker 1: you're like literally doing something in a manager because he's like,

689
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:25,959
Speaker 1: make sure you stock that shelf. And I'm like, yeah,

690
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:29,399
Speaker 1: I'm doing it. I'm about to stop doing it because

691
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:34,879
Speaker 1: you said I'm worried about this guy to be yeah,

692
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: oh yeah, definitely. This guy is not well. It sounds

693
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 1: like this is not the first time he's done this. No,

694
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 1: So I have to wonder does he have in a

695
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 1: rectile dysfunction? Is he not sleeping with the people he

696
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: really wants to sleep with and therefore can't um no,

697
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: I'll maintain too, essence or toss wow fellows pull over,

698
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:06,399
Speaker 1: We're maintaining miss um No. I almost certainly would say

699
00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: that this is a psychological issue that he's having. Also,

700
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 1: he's wasted, which doesn't help you. Maybe he only tries

701
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: to have sex when he's drunken and can't. Maybe. But

702
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: they say, like, for example, a lot of the erectile

703
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:23,480
Speaker 1: dysfunction medication doesn't it's not. It doesn't just give you

704
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:27,359
Speaker 1: a boner. It allows your body if it can't give

705
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,239
Speaker 1: you an erection to do so. But if you're having

706
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: just a psychological issue, it's not going to do it

707
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:37,160
Speaker 1: for you, you know. So I think this guy that

708
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: it is not difficult for your psychology to stop you

709
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:44,440
Speaker 1: from be able to perform sex. And this guy clearly

710
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 1: has some psychological issues. Either that or he is on

711
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: a on a medication for his mental health, and those

712
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 1: can often mess with your sexual health. Not always, but

713
00:45:55,760 --> 00:45:59,880
Speaker 1: they can. So that's my guess, is it's something that

714
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:03,760
Speaker 1: he doesn't have e D He's just dealing with something

715
00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 1: in his head, and that is very scary, very absolutely,

716
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 1: And it's not like this was someone night stand. She'd

717
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,800
Speaker 1: been dating this guy for a month. I know, you know,

718
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 1: it seemed like they were having wanted to do it,

719
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:18,960
Speaker 1: really wanted to. But I guess you probably never went

720
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 1: back to I don't think so. Some people in the

721
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 1: commons suggested that him screaming get out of my house

722
00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:31,719
Speaker 1: was actually directed towards his penis. He's like, you're the

723
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 1: only thing standing in my way. No, you stay, you go,

724
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:41,880
Speaker 1: you down there, you know it. Really, it's like we

725
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,520
Speaker 1: said last time we did the Reddit episode, there's all

726
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 1: these historical people, there's all these impressive and amazing stories,

727
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,239
Speaker 1: and I love telling him. I can't wait to get

728
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 1: back the next one. But really, you just dig in.

729
00:46:53,160 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 1: You just this is like walking into a bar and

730
00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: just find the greasiest weirdo you could find it being like,

731
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:01,360
Speaker 1: tell me a fucking story, and they tell you the

732
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 1: most insane story you've ever heard in your life, and

733
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: you're like, I never could have gotten this from the news.

734
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 1: Very true. Yeah, this is this is real. This is real, ship, right,

735
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: here's rough and dry rough and dry ship right here.

736
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: Sometimes with the Internet, you just want to follow up,

737
00:47:18,440 --> 00:47:21,480
Speaker 1: like like sometimes you'll see a video where somebody falls

738
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 1: and it's very funny, but you're also like, is that

739
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:28,120
Speaker 1: person alive? I need to know if they're dead, it's

740
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 1: not as funny. I really need to know. And this

741
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,080
Speaker 1: is another I'm like, is there fault? Like I wish

742
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 1: he could he would never never story And the guy

743
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:46,000
Speaker 1: yelled at his dick, but if he could, if he

744
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: could have a follow up, its eight. Listen, everything's fine.

745
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:50,640
Speaker 1: I was just on this pill or I was having

746
00:47:50,640 --> 00:47:54,800
Speaker 1: a hard time medic experience like therapy and things working

747
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:59,359
Speaker 1: now and I'm happy you're yeah, you'd love to hear

748
00:47:59,400 --> 00:48:02,040
Speaker 1: it is. If you are one of these users, or

749
00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:04,200
Speaker 1: if you think one of these stories is about you,

750
00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:10,839
Speaker 1: then please tell us. The dance story really brought back

751
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,080
Speaker 1: to I often cry while I'm giving hand jobs when

752
00:48:14,080 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 1: I think of the Sudan. So we're like, it's not

753
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:21,239
Speaker 1: the Sudan. It's not just if you ever meet someone

754
00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 1: who calls it thus Sudan. I want you to think

755
00:48:23,719 --> 00:48:26,360
Speaker 1: to yourselves, this might be that crying hand job person

756
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 1: and be like, well, I guess you have to give

757
00:48:28,480 --> 00:48:32,440
Speaker 1: me a hand job, so I know for sure I

758
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:34,879
Speaker 1: have to know. Excuse me, but I'm trying to figure

759
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,800
Speaker 1: something out. Can you do me a favor? Give me

760
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: quick hand ups. It's not it's not weird. I'm just

761
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:42,839
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out who you are. I'm trying

762
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 1: to reduce your identity. There's so many other ways to

763
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 1: do that. Well. I can't wait, of course, to get

764
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:53,759
Speaker 1: back to our histories next week. But I also can't

765
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 1: wait to get to another one of these because I

766
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:58,800
Speaker 1: think eventually we've got a few reddits pulled to about

767
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 1: some really ridiculous marriage proposals, so I think that'll be

768
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 1: our next one. Started to look into those, um But

769
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 1: in the meantime, please I want you to look at

770
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,960
Speaker 1: these questions we asked from Reddit today. I really, I

771
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: really really want your answers. So come on, send us

772
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 1: an email, will you. Yes, we could do a whole

773
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: listener mail just about your absolutely would amazing. Yeah, send

774
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 1: us an email and let us know if you feel

775
00:49:26,760 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: comfortable with us reading them on the air. Yes, I

776
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 1: want to hear it. If you want to, just send

777
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:33,319
Speaker 1: it so we know, just make sure to say don't

778
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:37,160
Speaker 1: read it or don't say my name or whatever, but

779
00:49:37,280 --> 00:49:40,080
Speaker 1: it's up at ridic Romance at gmail dot com right

780
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 1: or Twitter and Instagram. I'm at Dynamite Booms and I'm

781
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,840
Speaker 1: at Oh Great, it's Eli the show. It's at ridic Romance.

782
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: We will be back next week with more incredible histories

783
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 1: and strange ridiculous romances. Don't forget to leave us a

784
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: review on Apple Podcasts and we'll catch you off the

785
00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 1: next one. Thanks so much for listening, y'all, Love you, Sol,

786
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,719
Speaker 1: It's time to go. Thanks for listening to our show.

787
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: Tell your friends neighbor's uncle's in dance to listen to

788
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 1: a show ridiculous Well Dance m