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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: Asking the Higher Spirit way you believing, God, Jesus whoever,

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Speaker 2: to come into this space to support your journey toward healing,

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Speaker 2: toward understanding, towards better money management, toward forgiveness, toward opening

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Speaker 2: your heart and your mind to spaces and people that

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Speaker 2: can support you along your journey.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: You welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to

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Speaker 3: uplifting women like you.

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Speaker 2: We're your hosts.

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Speaker 3: Doctor Dominique Bussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 4: five roids to fake friends and create a safe space

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Speaker 4: where black women can just be all Right, lady, we

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Speaker 4: have a special guest today. She will to help us

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Speaker 4: get our finances in order. Okay. Kara Stevens is the

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Speaker 4: founder of The Frugal Feminis Stuff, a thriving personal finance

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Speaker 4: and personal development company committed to helping people held their

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Speaker 4: relationships with money and themselves. Her relatable financial advice has

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Speaker 4: been featured on Forbes, CNN, Business Insider, Huffington Post, Yahoo,

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Speaker 4: find in Essence, Women's Day Magazine, The Washington Post, and

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Speaker 4: other nationally recognized media outlets. She is also the author

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Speaker 4: of Heal Your Relationship with Money, The Happy Finances Challenge,

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Speaker 4: and Unmasking the Strong Black Women. Yes, Yes, and Yes, Kara,

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Speaker 4: welcome to cultivating her space.

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Speaker 2: Thank you guys for having me. I said, I was

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Speaker 2: so excited to make this connection and to be here.

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Speaker 3: Yes. Yes, Well, we are definitely looking forward to this conversation,

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Speaker 3: and so we are going to start with our quote

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Speaker 3: of the day. And Karra, these words will sound familiar

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Speaker 3: to you because we have been all up in your

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Speaker 3: social media. You post a lot of great tips and

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Speaker 3: you have lots of words of wisdom. So our quote

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Speaker 3: of the day. No amount of money in your bank

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Speaker 3: account will make you feel safe unless you feel safe

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Speaker 3: in your mind first.

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Speaker 2: And I'm gonna say that.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna say that one more time to make sure

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Speaker 3: that everyone heard this. No amount of money in your

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Speaker 3: bank account will make you feel safe unless you feel

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Speaker 3: safe in your mind first.

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Speaker 4: In the interview right there, I mean, yeah, kar Caro,

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Speaker 4: it's true.

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Speaker 2: I mean when you first said that, the image that

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Speaker 2: came into my mind, and this is a family story,

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Speaker 2: is that my father and his sister blood related, in

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Speaker 2: their old age and I'm talking sixties and seventies, were

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Speaker 2: found fighting over their father, my grandfather's inheritance even though

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Speaker 2: he was a doctor and she was a nurse, with

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Speaker 2: their own set of properties and their own set of things.

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Speaker 2: And when I say this, or when I make these comments,

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Speaker 2: we as Americans are pitted against this idea of if

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Speaker 2: I have more than I would be happy instead of

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Speaker 2: really seeing that number one of the examples of people

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Speaker 2: who have the most and have the least amount of happiness.

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Speaker 2: That's one, and then two. The other example is people

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Speaker 2: that you would think should feel unhappy or feel depressed,

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Speaker 2: and they have a sense of buoyancy, they have a

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Speaker 2: sense of joy. So clearly it's not the money. And

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Speaker 2: if we can begin to spiritually and emotionally find our joy,

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Speaker 2: find our peace, find our wealth, the money and the

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Speaker 2: amount of money that we have, even when it decreases,

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Speaker 2: will not impact how do you feel about ourselves? And

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Speaker 2: for a lot of us, who are you know, on

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Speaker 2: the realm or in the realm of trying to you know,

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Speaker 2: secure the bag. It's important that we secure the bag,

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Speaker 2: but securing the bag has nothing to do with sustaining

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Speaker 2: your soul, with nourishing your heart. And you could have both,

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Speaker 2: but if you're going to conflate the two, you're going

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Speaker 2: to be really mistaken and have a root awakening back.

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Speaker 2: The thing that you're looking for is hard to obtain

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Speaker 2: because it's not really true.

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Speaker 4: Yes, wow, wow, car you just start, You start appreciating started.

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Speaker 2: That's what.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, So Carol, we're going to take a quick pause.

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Speaker 4: We're going to dive back into the preaching in just

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Speaker 4: a second. But for our listeners who are not familiar

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Speaker 4: with you, tell us your origin story. How did you

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Speaker 4: become the care of Stevens that we see here before

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Speaker 4: us today.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's very much connected to that quote in

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Speaker 2: a lot of ways. I grew up in New York

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Speaker 2: City to a single mom from the Caribbean, from Antigua,

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Speaker 2: and her marriage to my father ended in a divorce

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Speaker 2: or separation, and that led her to a deep depression

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Speaker 2: and being her only daughter and the youngest of two children,

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Speaker 2: she instilled in me some belief systems around in particular

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Speaker 2: love and particularly around money. And she taught me that

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Speaker 2: men aren't to be trusted, you have to be self sufficient.

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Speaker 2: So when you're talking about building these black women out

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Speaker 2: of brick, I was a black girl built out of

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Speaker 2: brick like a lot of us are in our stories.

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Speaker 2: And it wasn't until I heard a deeper voice, a

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Speaker 2: higher voice, through therapy, through breakdowns, like all the things,

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Speaker 2: that I realized that that belief system, well, those belief

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Speaker 2: systems were holding me hostage and holding me away from

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Speaker 2: the things I knew that I really wanted, which was joy, love, intimacy, freedom.

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Speaker 2: I felt so burdened growing up, even though I wasn't

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Speaker 2: the one that was a divorced mother from the ante

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Speaker 2: for two kids, but I felt that And so it

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Speaker 2: wasn't until I started to realize that my origin story.

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Speaker 2: Maybe the beginning chapters were largely influenced by my mother's story,

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Speaker 2: but I didn't have to end my story there. It

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Speaker 2: was an opportunity for me to rewrite my story and

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Speaker 2: have new chapters that were meaningful to me. And it's

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Speaker 2: through that that the froup of feminisacame because I knew

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't alone. I knew that if I had

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Speaker 2: a story like this, there are a lot of us

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Speaker 2: who were taught to be extremely ambitious, extremely i'll say,

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Speaker 2: hyper independent, to be steely, to be suspicious, to be

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Speaker 2: withholding in a lot of ways that we really aren't

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Speaker 2: those things, but we were doing it to protect ourselves.

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Speaker 2: And so I knew that if I had that story,

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Speaker 2: and all my girlfriends from college and all my girlfriends

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Speaker 2: in you know, at my jobs, we shared a similar experience.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, well, why does that have you

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Speaker 2: like that? Can we create community around healing and the

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Speaker 2: frugal feminista FuG feminista eventually morphed into seeing the role.

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Speaker 5: That money plays and just having our day to day

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Speaker 5: needs met, but the role that healing our relationship with

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Speaker 5: money is one of the cornerstones of finding our way

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Speaker 5: to wealth Emotionally and financially.

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Speaker 2: So that's I would say, is my origin story. And

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Speaker 2: even now, I left my nine to five and I

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Speaker 2: moved to Ghana as part of Like my True and

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Speaker 2: so it's the role that money played in that to

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Speaker 2: help me figure what my values are and then get

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Speaker 2: the coins right to actually pursue it, you know, for

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Speaker 2: however long I'll be here. Yeah, So I think that's

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Speaker 2: my origin story. Beautiful. I love that.

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Speaker 4: Hey lady, it's Terry here, Dom and I want to

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Speaker 4: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 4: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 4: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 4: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 4: about this.

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Speaker 6: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 6: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business,

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Speaker 6: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining

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Speaker 6: our monthly virtual video check ins where you can connect

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Speaker 6: with like minded black women like you and share your

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Speaker 6: ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, I

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Speaker 6: want you to imagine a world where you're in the

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Speaker 6: exclusive Cultivating her Space sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout your

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Speaker 6: day and week, you are conversing with us about what's

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Speaker 6: happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and or

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Speaker 6: personal wins.

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Speaker 2: How does that sound.

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Speaker 4: Hopefully this is of your alley, lady, because we are

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Speaker 4: taking things to the next level of this year, and

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Speaker 4: we're doubling down on investing in our community. That means you.

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Speaker 4: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 4: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 4: push our culture and movement forward. We launched this podcast

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Speaker 4: in twenty nine nineteen, and to date we have not

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Speaker 4: missed a week. We've been great stewards of our platform,

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Speaker 4: all while working full time and navigating our own ups

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Speaker 4: and downs. We release fresh new content every single Friday

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Speaker 4: like clock work, and we have hundreds of valuable episodes

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Speaker 4: and workshops that can really help you up level your life.

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Speaker 4: from us, we invite you to give back and help

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Speaker 4: us push this community effort forward. Visit Herspace podcast dot

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Speaker 4: com and click Patreon. You can learn more about our

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Speaker 4: goals and exclusive offerings on Patreon, and we highly highly

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Speaker 4: encourage you to join the Sister Frontier so that you

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Speaker 4: can get someone on one time with us. We also

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Speaker 4: have an option for you to donate on a one

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Speaker 4: time basis if that meets your needs. Again herspacepodcast dot com,

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Speaker 4: and you can click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady,

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Speaker 4: we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 3: I want to go back in to your origin story

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Speaker 3: a little bit, right because you you just dropped a

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Speaker 3: little nugget right there and just kept moving. You said

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Speaker 3: that you quit your nine to five and moved to Ghana, right, yes,

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Speaker 3: and you call yourself the frugal feminista.

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Speaker 2: Yes, ma'am.

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Speaker 3: Wow, Because I know there's some lady that's listening and

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Speaker 3: they're like, well, if you're frugal the way I understand

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Speaker 3: the word frugal, how did you become frugal and you

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Speaker 3: were able to quit a nine to five and move

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Speaker 3: to God like, make it make sense? So I know

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Speaker 3: that somebody's asking that question, and so, yes, how did

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Speaker 3: you do that?

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Speaker 2: Okay? So I feel like I have to redefine frugality.

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Speaker 2: So this is not your mama's frugal. If we're thinking

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Speaker 2: about how mamas used to do it, this is frugal

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Speaker 2: is not the same as she So Jesus, yes, where

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Speaker 2: you think that everything costs too much or nothing has value.

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Speaker 2: And I think frugality is more of an intentionality. If

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Speaker 2: you're not uncomfortable in the world's reality, you don't use it,

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Speaker 2: but it's intentionality. So I said, listen, this is nine

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Speaker 2: to five, and meet. I was a classroom teacher, and

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Speaker 2: I was a vice principal, and I love my students,

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Speaker 2: I love my school community. But then I realized after

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Speaker 2: a while, after sixteen years, that there was nothing noth

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Speaker 2: for me really to do. I feel like I had

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Speaker 2: left a legacy, I had pour into a handful of

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Speaker 2: eighth grade girls that I love, and I was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I think I'm done. And I started growing

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Speaker 2: a frugal feminista on the side over ten years ago.

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Speaker 2: So to answer your question, how does the frugality and

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Speaker 2: quit me a nine to five? Actually they're very much

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Speaker 2: a linked. It's because you're like, listen, here the things

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Speaker 2: are important to me. I know that I don't want

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Speaker 2: to be here and I don't want to retire from

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Speaker 2: this job necessarily. So what do I have to do

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Speaker 2: in terms of backwards planning in orders for me to

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Speaker 2: feel comfortable to lead? And if I have to come back, sure,

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Speaker 2: but how much is my dream worth to me? And

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Speaker 2: I think frugal people will be able to put a

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Speaker 2: number on that, because that means how much is my

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Speaker 2: plane ticket? Am I going to unt a house when

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Speaker 2: IM going to Gona or not? Am I going to

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Speaker 2: put my daughter in private school or not? So you

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Speaker 2: begin to take the big idea and then you put

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Speaker 2: numbers around it. Right, So how much does my dream

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Speaker 2: cost for a year? Two years, three years, six months? God?

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Speaker 2: And then you say, well, how much money do I have?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 2: So if it's just say one hundred thousand dollars, so

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Speaker 2: my dream is one hundred thousand dollars? Number one? Am

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Speaker 2: I worthy? Do I think I'm worthy and deserving of

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Speaker 2: this dream? One hundred thousand dollars in the scheme of

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Speaker 2: your life is not a lot of money out you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean? It's not. So it's like twenty

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars a year. Right, you did it for five years.

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Speaker 2: If you said let me push through this stream in

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Speaker 2: ten years, that's ten thousand dollars a year. So if

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Speaker 2: you begin to be very concrete as I can be

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Speaker 2: when it comes to numbers, you realize this is doable.

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Speaker 2: So once you're able to see that my dream costs

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Speaker 2: an x amount of mine. Let's say hundred thousand dollars,

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Speaker 2: and how much do I have in my accounts? I

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Speaker 2: got twenty, all right, so I'm almost there. I'm not there,

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Speaker 2: but I'm almost there. That means it's a gap of

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Speaker 2: eighty thousand dollars. So out of that eighty thousand dollars,

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Speaker 2: how much am I going to start saving? Am I

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Speaker 2: going to get out of debt? Let me look at

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Speaker 2: my budget and see what are some of the things

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Speaker 2: that I could do with that without necessary sacrificing my lifestyle.

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Speaker 2: As a phase one, Phase two, how can I get

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Speaker 2: more aggressive? Because this thing is really important to me?

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Speaker 2: So are there ways that it may be a bit

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Speaker 2: of a temporary inconvenience, you know, whether that means eliminating

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Speaker 2: some things like maybe a shorter trip or fewer trips

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Speaker 2: because this big move is more important to you, or

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Speaker 2: making more income or getting a new job and in

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Speaker 2: between time because you know that you'll be able to

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Speaker 2: make more money, or getting aside a hustle and then

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Speaker 2: having numbers around those. So I want a job that

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Speaker 2: makes me about thirty percent more or forty thousand and

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Speaker 2: more plus a side gig that allows me to bring

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Speaker 2: in an extra ten thousand dollars every year. Once you

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Speaker 2: start answering those questions and put in pen to paper,

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Speaker 2: you begin to realize, Okay, this intentionality slash frugality has

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Speaker 2: its place in helping me pursue my dream. And a

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Speaker 2: lot of times, maybe because of how we think it's

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Speaker 2: going to be uncomfortable, you may actually find a sense

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Speaker 2: of purpose and joy, especially when you build community around it.

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Speaker 2: So if you tell your girlfriend who also has a

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Speaker 2: dream of doing the same thing, not the ones that

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Speaker 2: don't dream that you need to decide, but the ones

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Speaker 2: that you can, you know, kind of be your accountability,

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Speaker 2: your spirituality partner along the way, because it's going to

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Speaker 2: be of course times when you're like, I don't know

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Speaker 2: if we're going to be able to do this, But

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Speaker 2: when you have setbacks like you did take that trip,

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Speaker 2: or you did go about, you did buy that thing,

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Speaker 2: it doesn't mean in the long term that you're not

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Speaker 2: going to meet your goal. And I think that is

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Speaker 2: how the frugality and the financial freedom or the putting

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Speaker 2: of your job. Because I wouldn't say that I'm necessarily

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Speaker 2: I love risk, but I like to de risk, you know,

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Speaker 2: so how can I de risk the situation, run the numbers,

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Speaker 2: give yourself a little bit more time, a little bit

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Speaker 2: more of a runway. So I would say that's the answer. Well, Kara,

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Speaker 2: I love that you covered that.

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Speaker 4: And it's funny because I feel like, for years I've

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Speaker 4: had this idea of what my ideal life looked like.

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Speaker 4: And when I began to get clear on what does

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Speaker 4: it actually look like?

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Speaker 2: What is my number?

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Speaker 4: It wasn't as much as I thought it would be

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Speaker 4: like it was always I actually have this amount of money,

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Speaker 4: and then I looked at it, I said, oh, this

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Speaker 4: is actually doable. My question for you is, as someone

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Speaker 4: who did not grow up in a I want to say,

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Speaker 4: fiscally responsible or financially literate household, why is it important

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Speaker 4: to know your number even if it feels impossible today?

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Speaker 4: And how did you over or how can people overcome

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Speaker 4: the fear of facing their finances when they know they

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Speaker 4: got all these student loans and they know they got

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Speaker 4: this debt and it just feels like, you know what,

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Speaker 4: I'd rather not see it because it's scary to face it.

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Speaker 4: So it was like two questions in one, But can

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Speaker 4: you help us with that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I will first say that number one, your feelings

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Speaker 2: of fear are valid and normal, especially if you grew

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Speaker 2: up in a home that wasn't it was the non

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Speaker 2: example or the anti model of what financial responsibility or

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Speaker 2: financial stewardship or whatever you want to label it was.

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Speaker 2: So first of all, you have to understand that you're

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Speaker 2: not coming from a place of You're not coming from

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Speaker 2: a surplus of information. You're coming from a deficit of

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Speaker 2: information that kind of one. So it's to be fair

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Speaker 2: to your circumstances. And I would say second emotion is

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Speaker 2: to give yourself grace that one, how do you know

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Speaker 2: about this? And then to give yourself credit for taking

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Speaker 2: the initiative to learn about it. Now. It makes no

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Speaker 2: sense to beat yourself up over the past, because the

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Speaker 2: past is the past. What you want to do is

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Speaker 2: tap into six six months from now or even a

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Speaker 2: year from now. What do I want to look back

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Speaker 2: and say, I'm so proud of myself for doing right?

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Speaker 2: And that sometimes means taking one step to talk about

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Speaker 2: knowing your numbers. Maybe the first place you want to

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Speaker 2: go in terms of your numbers is a place where

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Speaker 2: you feel a little bit more positive. I know some

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Speaker 2: people are just facing numbers. Yeah, it will face them.

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Speaker 2: But let's start with something that's going to give us

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Speaker 2: a quick poin. First, out of all the areas of

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Speaker 2: your finances that you think, whether it be your credit,

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Speaker 2: maybe the amount of debt that you have, maybe it's

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Speaker 2: been your ability to negotiate, or like your salary history,

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Speaker 2: what's one thing that you can be like, I did

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Speaker 2: that right how and acknowledgement you did something really positive

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Speaker 2: and in any air of your finances or that you

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Speaker 2: know what, I had twenty I found twenty dollars in

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Speaker 2: my pocket and I put it in a bucket and

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Speaker 2: I didn't spend it. That makes me a savor, right,

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Speaker 2: you can just start saying things like that about yourself.

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Speaker 2: What's one thing I can begin to say, I do well,

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Speaker 2: even if it's not extremely well, is better than other

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Speaker 2: areas of my life when it comes to finances, And

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Speaker 2: then think about what was some of the skills that

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Speaker 2: you needed to do in order to do that. So, say,

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Speaker 2: for example, if you have good credit, even though you

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Speaker 2: may have a lot of debt, you can say, well,

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Speaker 2: I pay my bills in full, and I pay my

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Speaker 2: bills on time. I tend to look at my credit

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Speaker 2: card statement. I'm able to and understand the categories. I

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Speaker 2: don't maybe have my debt to my debt to credit

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Speaker 2: ratio income higher than thirty percent. That's what keeps me

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Speaker 2: having good credit. I know how to call people and

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Speaker 2: be like, we need to load my interest rate. So

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Speaker 2: I'm a good communicator, right, So thinking about all the

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Speaker 2: things you do well in that one particular area, even

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Speaker 2: if it's cool, con it, you know how to apply them,

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Speaker 2: organize and clip them. We'll make sure you get to

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Speaker 2: the supermarket on time so they don't get expired, how

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Speaker 2: to double them up and strategize. So that means that

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Speaker 2: you have strategy. You know how to be strategic when

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Speaker 2: it comes to certain areas of your finances. So then

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Speaker 2: that means then I can be strategic in another area

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Speaker 2: of my finances. And I'm more of the person that's

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Speaker 2: like stack your wins and then letting go kind of

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Speaker 2: trickle down to the areas that you have the most challenged,

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Speaker 2: rather than just you know, depending on your nature, because

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Speaker 2: it's eventually going to impact all the other aspects. But

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Speaker 2: for some of us need the longer runway. So I

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Speaker 2: would say that you know, being able to identify what

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Speaker 2: you're good at or better at, think about the skills

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Speaker 2: that it took to do that, and then apply to

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Speaker 2: the next best area of your finances while sustaining that

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Speaker 2: first one, and then let the ripple effect happen so

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Speaker 2: you can begin to feel comfortable and prepare to do

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Speaker 2: with the more challenging aspects of your finances.

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Speaker 1: Oh thank you.

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Speaker 3: Those are great points, and we have a lot of questions,

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Speaker 3: particularly around how it relates to women in money. But

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Speaker 3: before we dive into those questions, we're gonna shift up

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Speaker 3: the energy a little bit.

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Speaker 4: So let's do it, okay, so Kara, Because we recognize, appreciate,

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Speaker 4: and celebrate the multifaceted woman, and we believe that it's

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Speaker 4: okay to be bougie, classy and ratchet. You can still

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Speaker 4: be elegant and dance to strip club music if you

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Speaker 4: so choose. So we want to invite you to the

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Speaker 4: OHU Blatchett segment. Do you take on the challenge?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Ready, okay, yes, okay, so Kara. We have three questions

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Speaker 4: for you. We have three sentence completions, and then we

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Speaker 4: have three photos that we found of you on social media,

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Speaker 4: and we're gonna pull one of those photos up based

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Speaker 4: on the number that you choose, and we want you

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Speaker 4: to give us more context about the photo that we

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Speaker 4: would not know just by looking at it. So I'm

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Speaker 4: gonna chease into the segment. I'm gonna start off with

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Speaker 4: the question. I'm gonna start with this question though.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Kara, what's the best piece of wisdom or advice

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Speaker 3: you've ever received?

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Speaker 2: Wow, the best piece of advice that I've ever received,

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Speaker 2: I would say my mom. She would say, use your

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Speaker 2: morning so you can so you can rest in your evening.

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Speaker 2: So it's basically use your youth to your advantage so

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Speaker 2: you're not out there having to be a greeter at

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Speaker 2: Best Buy when you don't want to in your sixties

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Speaker 2: and your seventies. Yeah, oh love. I love that.

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Speaker 4: I love that it's multi fasted to because you said it.

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Speaker 2: I saw.

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Speaker 4: I felt it as like your day, like do what

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Speaker 4: you have to do in the morning of the day

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Speaker 4: so you can rest in the evening, but also in

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Speaker 4: the morning of your life like the end. Wow, come on, Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 4: this next, this next question, I'm gonna say, I got

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Speaker 4: four words for you, okay, to work or two steps?

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Speaker 2: Oh, so there's two sounds. I would say, it's work right.

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Speaker 2: I'm not the best Parker, but I'm in that season.

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Speaker 2: I'm my divine seven in season. Like ye deep most

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Speaker 2: of the time, but we could be deep in love.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Oh yeah, well, since you were in your divine

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Speaker 3: feminine energy right now, the next question is what's the

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Speaker 3: sexiest item you own?

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Speaker 2: I would say that there is this. It's my husband's favorite.

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Speaker 2: It's mind to you because the way I feel when

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Speaker 2: I when I'm in it. It doesn't have many pieces,

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Speaker 2: but it covers certain parts to other parts it doesn't cover.

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Speaker 2: And I'm very proud of that. I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 2: after having a child and trying to keep my divine

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Speaker 2: feminine feminine. He enjoyed it, and I enjoy him enjoying it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's right answer.

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Speaker 3: All right.

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Speaker 4: Here, we're gonna move on to the sentence completions, and

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Speaker 4: the first sentence completion is one question or topic I

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Speaker 4: wish people ask me about more often.

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Speaker 2: Is hard That got me, you know, I think because

435
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 2: I would say, how are you doing? Really? I think

436
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 2: people because I'm the proval of feminist, and I'd be

437
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,120
Speaker 2: having answers about money, thinking my life is just all

438
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 2: the way always together, but I got problems too, you know.

439
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 2: So sometimes being the strong friend ach or considered like

440
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 2: a leader, sometimes I'm like, it would be nice to

441
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: be ask how you're doing and kind of like have

442
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 2: it really be like how you're really doing?

443
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, as a follow up, I don't want to get

444
00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 4: all on your business because you may not want to

445
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 4: share how you're really doing on the podcast, But how.

446
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 2: Can your friends support you?

447
00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 4: How would you want your friends to support you if

448
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,960
Speaker 4: you were to share with them my girl, this is

449
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 4: going on right now, Like how can they support I

450
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 4: think that I have.

451
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:50,960
Speaker 2: I think that I've gotten better at saying I'm not okay,

452
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 2: and then that being the open like the invitation to

453
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 2: actually share what's going on, like how my health and

454
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 2: sometimes for me, I just need to be heard and

455
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: seen and have a space created for me so I

456
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:11,360
Speaker 2: can process out loud and process in community. And it's

457
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 2: not the same as processing with your therapist. You have

458
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,400
Speaker 2: your therapist to process things, but sometimes for your girlfriend,

459
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 2: it's a it's a familial kind of energy that you're

460
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 2: looking for just through the energy. So I would say that.

461
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 3: Yes, I love that response. The therapist in me is like, yes,

462
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 3: you can have both. It's important, yes, right, and so

463
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:43,240
Speaker 3: our next sentence completion. M The most embarrassing thing I've

464
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 3: ever done to get a man's attention is ooh, okay, I.

465
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,640
Speaker 2: Can tell the truth on this one. So I am

466
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 2: not the proudest of it, but I'm kind of proud.

467
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:58,600
Speaker 2: So I know they are rules, but I didn't I

468
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 2: don't care. So I had a boyfriend. We broke up well,

469
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,679
Speaker 2: and then we were in a situationship, right, and then

470
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 2: in a situationship, you are not claiming me. I'm not

471
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 2: claiming you. So I went to go with the s

472
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 2: and then I liked his friends. It's so sense we

473
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 2: are official. I found the friends email address and phone

474
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 2: number and called him. Yes I did, and yeah, so

475
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 2: that is embarrassing in like kind side, but I don't

476
00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 2: care because I felt like for me it was empowered

477
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,680
Speaker 2: at the same time slash embarrassing, just because I know

478
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 2: women aren't supposed to do that. That's considered messy or

479
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 2: this that together, but sometimes a little messy is not

480
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 2: bad in the sense of if we're going to play rules,

481
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 2: play the rules. If we're not seeing each other, then

482
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 2: we're not seeing each other. Now it's up to the

483
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,240
Speaker 2: other person to figure out what they want to do.

484
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 2: Nothing came of it eventually, but I thought it was

485
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:03,640
Speaker 2: just like you shoot your shot, and you shoot your shot,

486
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 2: and I feel like that's helped me deal with rejection.

487
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 2: Lay your mind in all areas and be like, well,

488
00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:11,880
Speaker 2: if it's not him, I still got married, so whatever.

489
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 1: Okay, you.

490
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 2: It just kind of makes you. I think it just

491
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 2: makes you feel proud of yourself in doing things I

492
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 2: am embarrassing a little bit because you know that you're

493
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,680
Speaker 2: still alive and it's not as bad as you think

494
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 2: it is, especially after time has past.

495
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 4: Yes, eight men to that, amen, and we have one

496
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,880
Speaker 4: final sentence completion. Which is what I love most about myself?

497
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:44,639
Speaker 2: Isn't what I love about myself the most is I

498
00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 2: think I am. I think I'm a kind person. I

499
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: think that I think I'm encouraging, I create space, and

500
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:58,239
Speaker 2: I'm honest too. I think that's what kind is. It's

501
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 2: this make different definitions with kind. It's like I'm being

502
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:06,159
Speaker 2: able to tell to be honest without pausing harm or

503
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 2: something like that. So I'm not gonna I'm not gonna

504
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,639
Speaker 2: yes you to death. I will tell you what I

505
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: think in a way that makes it easy to receive

506
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 2: without blurring the clarity. Yeah, beautiful answer.

507
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right. Care. That takes us to our last

508
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 4: and final segment of or part of this segment, which

509
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 4: is the photos that we have pulled up. So if

510
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 4: you can choose a number out of one in three,

511
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 4: we will share the photo with you on the big screen.

512
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 4: So what number do you choose?

513
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 2: Three?

514
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 1: Three?

515
00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm so glad you This is a beautiful photo.

516
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 4: So really quick here, if you could first describe the

517
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 4: photo for folks that are listening and not tuning into

518
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 4: this video, describe the photo and then give us some

519
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 4: context about the photo that we would not know just

520
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,120
Speaker 4: by looking at it.

521
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 3: Oh.

522
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 2: So in this picture, I am sitting on my couch

523
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 2: looking I guess out into towards the window in a

524
00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:09,720
Speaker 2: pensive kind of stance. And my hand is under my chin,

525
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,600
Speaker 2: and my one was on my left hand on my

526
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,239
Speaker 2: right hand and under my chin, and the other one

527
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: is kind of upping my waist, and I appear pensive

528
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: and I appear like I'm thinking about something. I love it.

529
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 4: And what's the context behind this photo that we would

530
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 4: not know just by looking at it?

531
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 2: That wasn't thinking about anything. It looks so deep deep now.

532
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 4: It's beautiful though.

533
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was actually I was taking this Mastermind class

534
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 2: and actually it was I had there was this package

535
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 2: of online pictures I had to use before the expiration

536
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 2: ran out. So I think it was the last day

537
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,120
Speaker 2: that I had to do, like the online virtual photoshoot.

538
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 2: I think during the pandemic too, and so I was like,

539
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 2: come get this picture because I'm waste my money. So

540
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 2: that was that. There we go.

541
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 4: I love it. I love the photo, the hair it's

542
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 4: given given face, all that good stuff.

543
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 2: Well, thank you for playing along with us.

544
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 4: Care for the OHU blatchet segment, We're going to dig

545
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,280
Speaker 4: right back into some of these questions. And you said

546
00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 4: something earlier that I took a note of. I said, oh,

547
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,640
Speaker 4: we got the note. Tell us about how to call

548
00:30:23,760 --> 00:30:26,960
Speaker 4: and lower these extras rates? Yes, on the phone, will

549
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 4: we lowered these interests?

550
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 2: So, I mean it's a very simple process of calling

551
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 2: calling your credit card company and telling them that you've

552
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 2: been loyal customer for X amount of years and if

553
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 2: the years aren't a lot, just put X amount of months.

554
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:46,560
Speaker 2: You know, they multiply, you know, to make sure more

555
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 2: and that you would like because you say paid in

556
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,520
Speaker 2: full and paid on time over the course of how

557
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:56,080
Speaker 2: many months or things like that, that you would request

558
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 2: as a courtesy that you reduced the rate by X

559
00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 2: amount of person and wait for them to what they

560
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 2: say and they say they can't, you say, well, you know,

561
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:09,200
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about either taking my business elsewhere to another

562
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 2: company that can respect loyalty, respect the customer that is

563
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 2: in strongstanding. And if that doesn't work, you can say,

564
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 2: let me speak with your manager and say the same thing.

565
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,800
Speaker 2: And usually the first thing I like, I'm taking my

566
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 2: business elsewhere definitely gets them moving. And then if you

567
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,400
Speaker 2: can ask them what's the best that you can do

568
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: in terms of a reduction and ask them two to

569
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,800
Speaker 2: three times to get them to get a little bit more,

570
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 2: so you don't take the first offer that they get.

571
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 2: And so I have usually said that, you know, reducing

572
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,200
Speaker 2: it by an x amount. You just say that you

573
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 2: want them like, what's the best that they can offer,

574
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,040
Speaker 2: and then you begin to go down from there, especially

575
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 2: if the number in your head was actually lower than

576
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:53,600
Speaker 2: what they were offering.

577
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 4: Now, I want to quick follow up, so just as

578
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 4: the best practice, because I'm going to actually use this

579
00:31:57,960 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 4: let's say that the let's say you're interest like twenty percent.

580
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 4: I think people are mostly like in the twenty to

581
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 4: twenty six percent. Yeah, it would be a good deal.

582
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 4: Like I know, anything below that would be great, but

583
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 4: like what would be reasonable? And what have you seen

584
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 4: work when it comes to like is it fifteen percent?

585
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: As far as like the new interest rate or APR,

586
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 4: what would be a good deal for someone?

587
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 2: So over the past year or two credit card aprs

588
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,040
Speaker 2: have gone from one average he was saying fourteen percent

589
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 2: to the average now being like twenty to twenty six percent,

590
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 2: and so a few things, so I would take it

591
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: as well as possible, So even like you know, twenty

592
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 2: twenty two, twenty three percentages like down to fourteen percent.

593
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,480
Speaker 2: And then what I would also as an additional strategy

594
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:45,440
Speaker 2: is to look for credit cards that have a balanced

595
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 2: transfer of zero percent, right, and then you transfer it

596
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 2: over and using that as a leverage just to kind

597
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,160
Speaker 2: of stop and extract the interest that's accruing on your

598
00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 2: debt and use that window very thoughtfully and intentionally not

599
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 2: to get into more debt and to pay it off

600
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:05,040
Speaker 2: because sometimes if you read the fine point, it goes

601
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 2: right back up those credit card interest rates go right

602
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,240
Speaker 2: back up, and sometimes even in the final print virtual

603
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 2: actively they put interest on the amount that you transferred

604
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,320
Speaker 2: over that you have to pay rent you actively. So

605
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 2: between those two being thoughtful about how you use them,

606
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 2: you can definitely be able to maximize credit card usage

607
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 2: with that phone call and with that decision if you

608
00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:31,120
Speaker 2: decide to move it over to something else or even

609
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 2: a portion of it, or another credit card while you

610
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 2: get one to have a lower interest rate and one

611
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 2: that you just want to body to have the conversation

612
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:42,400
Speaker 2: transferred over and then eliminate it. Thank you. I love that.

613
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 2: I love those tips.

614
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 3: And so speaking of some tips, so what are some

615
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 3: of the common besides the credit card lowering your interest

616
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 3: rate on your credit cards? What are some of the

617
00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 3: common budget busters that we can use today considering where

618
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 3: the economy is, Like, what are some of the things

619
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 3: that we can use to like bust that budget.

620
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 2: When you say bust the budget, you mean like, well

621
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 2: that's causing us to bust our budget? Right? Yes? Yeah?

622
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,840
Speaker 3: What are the ones that's like busting the budget like

623
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 3: that we can get rid of?

624
00:34:18,200 --> 00:34:21,439
Speaker 2: Gotcha? I would say it depends, I think a lot

625
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 2: on like the city that you're in and the friends

626
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 2: that you roll with, because if you are fancy, super

627
00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: duper fancy, and that your friends are fancy, and it

628
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 2: means that having a lifestyle that's rooted in grunches and

629
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,879
Speaker 2: in going out a lot, and that's not a bad thing.

630
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 2: But sometimes your social activities, especially for women, that we

631
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 2: just like to be together, right and maybe be cute,

632
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:52,520
Speaker 2: doesn't mean we have to go out and be cute.

633
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,359
Speaker 2: We can't go in and be cute and do things

634
00:34:55,440 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 2: together that also don't revolve around food. So we can

635
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,560
Speaker 2: also take care of our health at the same time.

636
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 2: So in thinking about some of the ways that if

637
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: you look at your current budget and look at the

638
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 2: current things that you do in your social calendar that

639
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: may not align with the one your financial goals, even

640
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,239
Speaker 2: your healthhals, you can begin to say, well, maybe that's

641
00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 2: one of my budgetbusters. How much I'm spending out on

642
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 2: eating out and then how much I'm spending on groceries.

643
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 2: Food budgets tend to be some of the larger budgets

644
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,880
Speaker 2: in our in our budgets, and we need to kind

645
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 2: of crean up on us because you don't want to

646
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 2: say no to your friends, but provide an alternative to

647
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 2: your friends. So maybe even if it's food, maybe it's

648
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,240
Speaker 2: just for dessert or for wine or for drinks.

649
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:40,280
Speaker 4: So you can.

650
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,800
Speaker 2: Reduce the budget, but you don't reduce the fund. You

651
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,000
Speaker 2: don't reduce the connectivity, because that's really important. It's almost

652
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,840
Speaker 2: like what's the point of not what's the point of

653
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 2: having them if you can't use it, but just being

654
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,560
Speaker 2: thoughtful about that. So I would say that. I would

655
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:57,520
Speaker 2: say too that post pandemic, a lot of us had

656
00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 2: a lot of subscriptions just to kind of get us pandemic,

657
00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 2: and they reviewed our budgets again and updated it. Not

658
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:08,040
Speaker 2: that we're more outside, so kind of seeing which shows

659
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 2: do you actually like? And I know there's supposed to

660
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,839
Speaker 2: be some new kind of people have to pay now

661
00:36:12,960 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 2: for sharing passwords for that unless they're going to pass Yeah,

662
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: but until then, maybe you can kind of do a

663
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:21,800
Speaker 2: crowdsourcing of passwords. You can hear that from me, But

664
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:26,919
Speaker 2: until until you know, kind of figure out the shows

665
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 2: that you do watch, shows that you don't watch, or

666
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,439
Speaker 2: even make it a group thing like if everyone loves

667
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 2: watching you know, Avid Elementary or when insecuts on and

668
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:36,600
Speaker 2: we all kind of get together and watch it, you know,

669
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 2: so it becomes a social thing while being very mindful

670
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 2: of that. And I'll even say in terms of other

671
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 2: things that can be bundled, we see oftentimes that phone

672
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,239
Speaker 2: bills go up just they each there's a new feed,

673
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 2: there's a new something. And then even calling the companies

674
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 2: the same way we get credit card companies about, say

675
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 2: I'm leaving because y'all just not doing me right. Can

676
00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 2: get them to find some special exclusive deal for X,

677
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 2: Y Z singer and have them, you know, get you

678
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,440
Speaker 2: back down to what your initial or introductory offer is.

679
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:07,960
Speaker 2: So I would start there with just like some of

680
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:11,200
Speaker 2: those things that are you know, socially based, but also

681
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 2: looking at the ways in which are the bills that

682
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 2: we just all of a sudden think that we need, Yes,

683
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:20,160
Speaker 2: we need them, but looking at how fees are attached

684
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 2: to them that can be unnecessary and actually negotiated is

685
00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 2: another big thing. And I would say one last thing

686
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 2: in terms of budget busters, and that's guilty of this myself,

687
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 2: is we collect things that should actually be consumed. So

688
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: if you love your makeup, if you love your makeup,

689
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 2: but it's just collecting, you have like seven and I love.

690
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 2: I love lit bar, I love themi I have about

691
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 2: this for the same colors ish from the lit bar

692
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,359
Speaker 2: and ask me have I used them? All? Absolutely? Not right,

693
00:37:56,440 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 2: but then not st why So I would say in

694
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 2: those types of categories, you're not depriving yourself of anything.

695
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 2: If you've already bought something that you actually love, right,

696
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:10,279
Speaker 2: use it first and then replace it. And I think

697
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 2: so from perfumes to things like I said, lipstick, to

698
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 2: all forms of makeup, to lotions, I think those are

699
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,680
Speaker 2: other areas like really feel we have to have I

700
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 2: poetries because they smell it. And I love smelling good,

701
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 2: don't get me wrong, but I can smell look for

702
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 2: probably two to three more years with the fragrances that

703
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 2: I have and not feel like I'm not smelling good.

704
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 2: So how can we begin to think about that conversation

705
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:35,000
Speaker 2: we had earlier about well, what's my dream? Well, if

706
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 2: I were to take the say we just said to

707
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,720
Speaker 2: all those things and maybe found three to four hundred

708
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 2: dollars easily from just pulling here and pulling there, and

709
00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:45,799
Speaker 2: we invested that money in something like an index fund

710
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:47,840
Speaker 2: over the course of like say, those five years, like

711
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 2: you said that it would take to reach that dream

712
00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 2: goal without ever really feeling the pinch of it because

713
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:56,879
Speaker 2: you've kind of done the idea, you've approached it from.

714
00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 2: What's not going to make me feel deprived increasing by

715
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 2: you know, eight nine percent growing that money over these years,

716
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 2: the things that you haven't even missed from your budget.

717
00:39:07,719 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 2: So your budget busting is actually your beginnings of finding

718
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 2: money for you to invest tools, right, so you pull

719
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 2: it out and then you tuck it away in a

720
00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 2: brokerage where you allow it to grow. So I would

721
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 2: say those are some of the ways that the budget

722
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,799
Speaker 2: busters can definitely be the first parts of your investment plan.

723
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,839
Speaker 2: And like you live your dream fund right, because it's

724
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 2: helping you fund your dream.

725
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 3: I love that, and I you know, one of the

726
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 3: words that stuck out to me as you were saying

727
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 3: this was about deprivation, right, And oftentimes what keeps us

728
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 3: from making changes in our budget planning and our spending

729
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:59,760
Speaker 3: habits is about feeling like we're going to be deprived

730
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 3: of something, right, And so how can we take a

731
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 3: step back and really assess, like what are the things

732
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,240
Speaker 3: that we need to be looking at when we're assessing

733
00:40:10,840 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 3: so that we don't feel deprived, and we feel more

734
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 3: inclined to actually make the changes.

735
00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,359
Speaker 2: I think one of the biggest things is to first

736
00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:22,600
Speaker 2: find things that don't to get rid of, that don't

737
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,200
Speaker 2: make you feel deprived. I think the conversations around money

738
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:28,879
Speaker 2: always focuses on the stuff that you love. Why why

739
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 2: why you know it's not sustainable? It's not sustainable. And

740
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:38,440
Speaker 2: I feel like people have this belief that there's the

741
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 2: economic principle that man by nature is rational. Who who

742
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 2: you know that's birational? Who tell me right? And so

743
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 2: this is a fallacy. So and so this whole kind

744
00:40:50,920 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 2: of like pull yourself up by the bootstraps. It's a

745
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 2: very pure tanical rooted in a lot of individualism that

746
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:02,960
Speaker 2: is just not for especially people of color. And so

747
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 2: I say that talk to me nice. That means my budget,

748
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,880
Speaker 2: y'all need to talk to me nice. So let me

749
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,879
Speaker 2: let me do this with ease. So let me find

750
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 2: the things that I won't miss. That's the whole point, right,

751
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 2: that's the whole point. Let me first find the things

752
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 2: I don't miss, and then I won't feel deprived. And

753
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 2: then once I get used to not missing these things,

754
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 2: then I can go to the next level. Where maybe

755
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:32,279
Speaker 2: I miss a little bit. Then I tried it in

756
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 2: small bits. So rather than like I said, rather than

757
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,799
Speaker 2: not go out with my friends, let's do breakfast y'all,

758
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,959
Speaker 2: or do breakfast at my house. You have to find

759
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 2: the root of what you're doing it for it. Are

760
00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 2: you a foodie and you won't go out the restaurant? Fine,

761
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 2: so then maybe you find one restaurant this month that

762
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 2: is the place to be, and then you have a

763
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 2: budget for it, and then you enjoy it, or you

764
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 2: decide that, you know, let me do a little extra.

765
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 2: If you have a gig that you do on the side,

766
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,759
Speaker 2: let me use that money for that. But just don't

767
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: say I'm not going to go. It's not realistic. And

768
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 2: you end up thinking about the thing that you are

769
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 2: telling yourself you can't do all the time, and end

770
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 2: up doing it, probably in a more secretive way, and

771
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 2: you don't really enjoy it because a shamefield. So I

772
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,960
Speaker 2: will say, don't listen to anyone that's telling you to

773
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 2: start the things that you love the most, to get

774
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:22,560
Speaker 2: rid of all the things that seem easy to get

775
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:24,080
Speaker 2: rid of. And you realize why might not get rid

776
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 2: of it before? Because I can use that money.

777
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 4: So beautiful. Oh, I love that so much because I

778
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 4: think you're right. A lot of people when it comes

779
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 4: to money conversations, that's such a good point. We often

780
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 4: focus on the things that we enjoy the most, and

781
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:37,360
Speaker 4: it's like, why are we.

782
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:37,719
Speaker 2: Doing this.

783
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 3: Right?

784
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 2: Exactly? I used to do that exactly.

785
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:47,800
Speaker 4: Stuff, And then I'm like, I'm going to go on

786
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 4: this shop and screen I just go crazy and it's like,

787
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 4: why did you do it? And I could have managed it?

788
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,439
Speaker 4: So I want to go back to something you said, Krev.

789
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 4: You talked about doing some deep work and like rewriting

790
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,720
Speaker 4: narratives in your mind. So when doing that and rewriting

791
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 4: the narrative you tell yourself about money, what are some

792
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:09,319
Speaker 4: practices or rituals to help during that uncomfortable process, Because

793
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,359
Speaker 4: I'm sure that can be an uncomfortable process for people,

794
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,680
Speaker 4: like actually facing like this is the perspective I have

795
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 4: about money, I'm going to rewrite the narratives. Like, what

796
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 4: do those rituals look like in action?

797
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:22,400
Speaker 2: Well, I think one of the things I've always mentioned

798
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 2: is having a beverage that is soothing, and in particular,

799
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 2: if you're a tea person, something that reduces anxiety something

800
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:36,839
Speaker 2: like lavender and cameramel together is definitely something that quells anxiety.

801
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 2: So have them beverage with you because it literally is

802
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 2: a holistic process where you actually feel more in a

803
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:48,480
Speaker 2: position to deal with these feelings because you have a

804
00:43:48,520 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 2: little bit more support around, feeling a little bit more relaxed.

805
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 2: I would say too, is get yourself in the mood,

806
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 2: like you can do things, not just I'm gonna look

807
00:43:58,840 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 2: at my money and it's going to be serious thing.

808
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,440
Speaker 2: Who says that you can enjoy the process? Right? If

809
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:07,720
Speaker 2: you enjoy the process by a couple of things. Want music,

810
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 2: you know, set the move for it, right like who?

811
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:15,960
Speaker 2: Like I was giving advice many years ago about everybody

812
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 2: needing a fight song, right, we all need a fight song.

813
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 2: It's a song that rubs you up to you know,

814
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 2: take on the world or to be a bad bitch

815
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 2: or whatever it is. So when you have a money

816
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 2: playlist things that you aspire to be, you know, think

817
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 2: about the songs that encourage you to think of your

818
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 2: higher self or maybe more healing. Like it depends on

819
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 2: the energy that you want to bring. So have a

820
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 2: kind of spend an afternoon actually creating a playlist that

821
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,439
Speaker 2: will that you enjoy while you're looking at your money.

822
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,960
Speaker 2: And I will also say too, like other rituals, is

823
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,800
Speaker 2: just for those of us that pray. I think prayer

824
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 2: is an important part of your financial practice. Ask the

825
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 2: higher spirit where you believe in God, you know, Jesus, whoever,

826
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 2: to come into this space to support your journey toward healing,

827
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 2: toward understanding, towards better money management, toward forgiveness, toward opening

828
00:45:16,160 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 2: your heart and your mind to spaces and people that

829
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 2: can support you along your journey. I think those rituals

830
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:26,160
Speaker 2: are extremely important as well, because I think a lot

831
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:30,000
Speaker 2: of us have made well, our society has made money

832
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:34,239
Speaker 2: this very sterile thing. When it's a it's part of

833
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 2: who is part of it's a tool, and there's there's

834
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: an energy around the people and the and the things

835
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 2: that we do around it, especially when we have anxiety

836
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:46,279
Speaker 2: around it. So we're trying to create positive associations with it.

837
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 2: So having positive things, having a beautiful space. I mean

838
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,920
Speaker 2: I talk about that in my book here your relationship

839
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: with money. Beautify the money space, even if it's just

840
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,319
Speaker 2: the corner of the room, Like make it some place

841
00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,279
Speaker 2: that you actually want to be. And I think the

842
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:02,879
Speaker 2: other misconceptions you have to do with alone, like black

843
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 2: women do. I can't say all black themen because you know,

844
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 2: we have various ways we interact with people. But we're

845
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:10,880
Speaker 2: a social group, you know what I'm saying, Like we

846
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,600
Speaker 2: tell each other everything. There's a group chat, or there's

847
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:17,799
Speaker 2: like a friend, or there's somebody that is sometimes to gather.

848
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 2: So why not even if you could just FaceTime your

849
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 2: girlfriend and be like, listen, girl, I'm going to do

850
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 2: with my finances right now. And sometimes you have those

851
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,120
Speaker 2: friends who can go on a phone. They're not even listening,

852
00:46:27,160 --> 00:46:29,120
Speaker 2: they're not even talking to you, but the fact that

853
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 2: they're there is the support that you need, right and

854
00:46:32,640 --> 00:46:34,839
Speaker 2: you can do it together. So I just didn't get

855
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 2: this idea. It always makes me laugh when people like

856
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 2: the thing that's the hardest to do. Why do you

857
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,399
Speaker 2: want to do then? Isolation? I mean, I know it's

858
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,320
Speaker 2: different to not want to tell everyone in your business,

859
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,560
Speaker 2: not not saying that. What I'm saying is if you've

860
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:53,279
Speaker 2: been talking to your girl about your lady parts, you've

861
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 2: been talking to about the dude that you're sleeping although

862
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:57,759
Speaker 2: the woman that you're sleeping with giving you all the details,

863
00:46:58,400 --> 00:46:59,879
Speaker 2: you can see let me while I'm trying to figure

864
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:02,600
Speaker 2: out my budget, you know, like, yeah, I'm not saying

865
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:06,160
Speaker 2: for all the numbers, but let's create this space to

866
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,080
Speaker 2: talk about it, you know, or at least, like, girl,

867
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 2: what are you doing right now? I'm dealing my budget

868
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 2: and I might inspire your friend to actually do it too,

869
00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 2: or is she? But I'm so glad that you're talking

870
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 2: about it because I've been getting it too, and it'd

871
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 2: be great to have someone to talk about it. It

872
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:23,360
Speaker 2: creates a bit of a financial intimacy about friendship without

873
00:47:23,480 --> 00:47:26,399
Speaker 2: being overly. You don't have to be super transparent about

874
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 2: the numbers. It's just to act that it's a part

875
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 2: as a priority for you. That's the important aspect of it.

876
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 4: I love that.

877
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 3: I think that that's like, that's a beautiful way of connecting, right,

878
00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 3: And I think that that's that's.

879
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 2: A great resource.

880
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 3: Right. And so when we think about the resources that

881
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 3: can help us not only stay on top of managing

882
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 3: and navigating our finances.

883
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:55,560
Speaker 2: But.

884
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 3: The resource that once we're there, like once we're in

885
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:05,160
Speaker 3: that space, like do those resources change? So can you

886
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 3: kind of talk us through that a little bit? Like

887
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 3: what are the resources that we use when we're trying

888
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 3: to get to that healed space, and do they change

889
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 3: once we're there.

890
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 2: I think that's a wonderful question. I think that I

891
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 2: think that there's when it comes to a process of feeling.

892
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:25,600
Speaker 2: You may know this as a therapist, that it's a journey,

893
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 2: and then there's parts that you are able to have

894
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:34,480
Speaker 2: the tools, especially when you encounter or challenge that you're like,

895
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 2: I'm not fall apart, I'm surprised. Oh, it's because I

896
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:39,879
Speaker 2: use this and this and this tool. So I think

897
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:44,760
Speaker 2: the tools never go away from your season of healing.

898
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:48,520
Speaker 2: You may need to use them less because you've internalized them, right,

899
00:48:48,640 --> 00:48:52,200
Speaker 2: but they're always there because you were never perfect. I

900
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,719
Speaker 2: would say that the healing journey is an inside out thing.

901
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 2: And so once you have this idea that you have

902
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,640
Speaker 2: more confidence and you have better undertone where your funny

903
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:04,720
Speaker 2: story comes from, you're going to need some practical tools

904
00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 2: that will help you sustain that right you. So I

905
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:15,120
Speaker 2: would say podcasts and books of community people that whose

906
00:49:15,200 --> 00:49:19,160
Speaker 2: story resonates with you. So, if you're a black woman

907
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:24,000
Speaker 2: who loves maybe a gentler approach to finances, that client

908
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,879
Speaker 2: has an intersectionality. Maybe I'm your person. But if you're

909
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:29,759
Speaker 2: more of a person that's like, I don't want to

910
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:32,240
Speaker 2: hear that crap. I'm good to show me the money,

911
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:36,240
Speaker 2: then you find someone else whose story and who's approach

912
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:39,279
Speaker 2: aligns with you and just immerse yourself where it could

913
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:42,680
Speaker 2: be a podcast episode or two a week or three,

914
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,800
Speaker 2: or however it is joining communities that support, maybe in

915
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:51,919
Speaker 2: person and virtually investment clubs that are beginner that teach

916
00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 2: you what you want to do. And I would say

917
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:58,759
Speaker 2: part of that sustaining or that growth is well, what

918
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 2: are my goals now that I have become the woman

919
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 2: I want to be When it comes to my relationship

920
00:50:05,200 --> 00:50:08,320
Speaker 2: with money, meaning them able to face my finances, I

921
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:11,760
Speaker 2: feel less fear, I'm more proactive. What are my goals

922
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:15,800
Speaker 2: for the next one, two, three, four years? And sometimes

923
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 2: the goal will dictate the resource. Right, So if you

924
00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:22,279
Speaker 2: want to buy a home in the next five years,

925
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 2: then learning about home ownership, talking to people in your community,

926
00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,839
Speaker 2: like your network that have bought homes and kept their

927
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 2: homes you know, or that have had trouble and been

928
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 2: able to overcome and have a story that can ship

929
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,319
Speaker 2: some insight into what you should do. Those are kinds

930
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:40,800
Speaker 2: of things you should think about. So I think it

931
00:50:40,920 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 2: has to be you know, there's just in general tools

932
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,319
Speaker 2: that to help you or keep the mindset, and then

933
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:52,919
Speaker 2: there's tactical topical related communities and resources that you'll plug

934
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 2: into based on what your goals are. So if you

935
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 2: want just to kind of cement this idea. If your

936
00:50:58,239 --> 00:51:00,560
Speaker 2: goal then is to think about an emerging see fund

937
00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:02,759
Speaker 2: and you want to figure out what are the best

938
00:51:02,880 --> 00:51:05,000
Speaker 2: high yield savings accounts to do so, and what's the

939
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 2: sinking fund, then you do research around those things or

940
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 2: ask people like find the community leaders or you know,

941
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 2: speakers or whoever who talk about that and listen to

942
00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 2: what their options are and then pick the one that's

943
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:20,680
Speaker 2: best for you. If investing is your thing, then you're

944
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:23,160
Speaker 2: going to do the same thing, and you know kind

945
00:51:23,200 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 2: of set of goal like the next year or two,

946
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 2: this is what I want to do, or by the

947
00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 2: end of the year, I want to do this, and

948
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 2: these are like maybe the two or three people I

949
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:33,520
Speaker 2: may immerse myself in their community, so I don't get overwhelmed.

950
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:37,480
Speaker 2: Knowing your own level of comfort and also your learning style,

951
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:41,280
Speaker 2: you know, I like to read still like pen and paper,

952
00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:44,640
Speaker 2: and like highlight. That's my thing. I'm over forty, so

953
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:46,480
Speaker 2: that's my thing. I know a lot of people still,

954
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,759
Speaker 2: you know, they could be with forty and still like,

955
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:52,239
Speaker 2: you know, their their digital bi still like that. But yeah,

956
00:51:52,280 --> 00:51:55,760
Speaker 2: I would just say that's where it kind of falls down.

957
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:58,640
Speaker 1: To thank you so much for sharing that care.

958
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 4: I really like the fact that you spoke about how

959
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,760
Speaker 4: we're always a work in progress, basically, like we're always

960
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 4: going to be tapping into resources depending on where we

961
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:09,120
Speaker 4: are in the journey. And speaking of awesome resources, we'd

962
00:52:09,120 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 4: love to talk a bit about I know we mentioned

963
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 4: your book in the beginning and then we started going

964
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:13,839
Speaker 4: on different topics, but can you tell us a bit

965
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 4: more about what inspired you to write Heal your Relationship

966
00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 4: with Money.

967
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:22,840
Speaker 2: I won't hear your relationship with money because I was

968
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 2: struggling with my relationship with money. I had mentioned about

969
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,719
Speaker 2: my origin story. I came from a place of a

970
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:34,680
Speaker 2: lot of financial anxiety and scarcity, and it was interesting

971
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,880
Speaker 2: because there was high expectation around education. So I was

972
00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 2: extremely educated, you know, I went to Columbia and went

973
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 2: to Oberwear like I have mad degrees, but there was

974
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 2: still this sense of like the bottom is going to

975
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:50,640
Speaker 2: fall out and it didn't make any sense. So it

976
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 2: was this idea that you're taught to aspire to these

977
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:59,800
Speaker 2: levels of high credentials but low confidence in your abilities.

978
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:05,040
Speaker 2: It was the strangest thing, right right, And so I

979
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,279
Speaker 2: wrote the book from a place of well, I was

980
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 2: able to get out of student loan debt. I had

981
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:14,360
Speaker 2: sixty five K with a student loan debt. And I

982
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:18,200
Speaker 2: was able to become a teacher and become educational administrator,

983
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:21,040
Speaker 2: and I became a vice principal, and so the salary

984
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:24,080
Speaker 2: was salarying, it was going up, but that was when

985
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 2: I had I had the most. I had some of

986
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 2: the deepest senses of fear around money, of losing it all.

987
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 2: And it didn't make sense because I thought I felt

988
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,759
Speaker 2: like I had more of a purpose in life when

989
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,080
Speaker 2: I was working towards getting out of debt, when I

990
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:45,719
Speaker 2: had money, my relationship with money. It opened me up

991
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 2: to see the problems I really had growing up around debt, deprivation,

992
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:56,920
Speaker 2: around affording, around all these things. So the book is

993
00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:00,400
Speaker 2: like when Tony Morrison talks about write the book that

994
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 2: you want to see if it's not there, And it

995
00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,040
Speaker 2: just came out of me. I went to like Starbucks

996
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,680
Speaker 2: over three weeks and I was crying. People looking at me.

997
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:09,320
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm having my moment, please, you know.

998
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,040
Speaker 2: But that's how the book came to be. And after

999
00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 2: working with women in our community, I realized a lot

1000
00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 2: of high earning women were experiencing some of the same things.

1001
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 2: Financial trauma's call what it is. And for a lot

1002
00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:28,080
Speaker 2: of women who are first gen earners in their families,

1003
00:54:28,640 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 2: and for a lot of women who whose money is

1004
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 2: considered community money if they're not partnered.

1005
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 3: Right and sometimes even if they are partnered, it's the

1006
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 3: community money exactly exactly.

1007
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:44,640
Speaker 2: They think you got it. And so it was a

1008
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:49,400
Speaker 2: love letter basically to black women who experienced trauma. But

1009
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 2: we were high functionally depressed, you know. And I felt

1010
00:54:55,320 --> 00:55:00,600
Speaker 2: that the ways in which I treated myself you could

1011
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:04,120
Speaker 2: tell how I was feeling about life by how I

1012
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 2: treated money. Like when I got very nervous and unsure,

1013
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 2: I hoard it. You know, everything was too expensive, everything

1014
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 2: was a risk. When I thought I had a more

1015
00:55:15,880 --> 00:55:18,160
Speaker 2: perspective and more balanced, I was able to say, cal

1016
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 2: are you've been working for seventeen years and you had

1017
00:55:23,640 --> 00:55:29,279
Speaker 2: every single side hustle girl. By the damn thing right, Yeah, yeah,

1018
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:31,719
Speaker 2: And so that's where the book came from. It came

1019
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 2: from a place of wanting to be well when it

1020
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:38,560
Speaker 2: came to money at all at all salary ranges, because,

1021
00:55:38,600 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 2: like we were sitting at the top of the conversation,

1022
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:44,880
Speaker 2: how much money you have isn't the answer. It's your

1023
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:55,720
Speaker 2: feeling of safety around those numbers. Okay, like Mic dropt, Yes, lady,

1024
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 2: if you have not picked up the book.

1025
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 3: And you are wanting to make sure that you have

1026
00:56:04,280 --> 00:56:09,960
Speaker 3: a healthy relationship with money, pick up this book. And

1027
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:12,479
Speaker 3: even if you do have a healthy relationship with money,

1028
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 3: we're always on a journey and it's never perfect. Pick

1029
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 3: up this book.

1030
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 4: Kret this was such a thought and booking conversation. I thought,

1031
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:26,920
Speaker 4: I'm just processing everything you shared. This is definitely an

1032
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:29,160
Speaker 4: interview I'm going to listen back to and take my

1033
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 4: own notes or But we would love to just thank

1034
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 4: you for being here, thank you for the work that

1035
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:37,680
Speaker 4: you do, thank you for sharing our platform with us

1036
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 4: and being able to share your story with our listeners.

1037
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 4: We would love for you to share with our listeners

1038
00:56:41,160 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 4: where can they find you, how can they support What

1039
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 4: are next steps that you'd like to lead? Them to.

1040
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, your questions were amazing, so I think that's

1041
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:53,319
Speaker 2: also part of it. So I love that it would

1042
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:56,320
Speaker 2: leads to rich conversation. Doesn't feel like an interview. But

1043
00:56:56,440 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 2: you guys can find me on Instagram, Google, fem Anista, U, Facebook,

1044
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:05,200
Speaker 2: the Fugalfeminist dot and you can always email me at

1045
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,440
Speaker 2: cal at the Fouglefeminista dot com and the website the

1046
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:12,600
Speaker 2: Frugalfeminista dot com and we'll be able to get a

1047
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 2: link to the book and I have. If you go

1048
00:57:15,120 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 2: to Heal your Relationship with Money dot com, you get

1049
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:20,560
Speaker 2: a whole bunch of other things. There's quizzes and other resources,

1050
00:57:20,640 --> 00:57:23,440
Speaker 2: book club kits for the book. If that's something that

1051
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:28,000
Speaker 2: can support community and conversation around our relationships with money.

1052
00:57:29,360 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Kere.

1053
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:33,960
Speaker 2: We appreciate you. Yes, thank you so much. It's a

1054
00:57:33,960 --> 00:57:36,680
Speaker 2: beautiful conversation. Thank you.

1055
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 3: Hey, lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

1056
00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:45,320
Speaker 3: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

1057
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 3: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well, if so,

1058
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:55,640
Speaker 3: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

1059
00:57:56,320 --> 00:58:02,840
Speaker 3: That's d R D O M I ni Que b

1060
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:09,760
Speaker 3: r ou Ssard dot com to schedule a free fifteen

1061
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 3: minute consultation. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks

1062
00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:19,320
Speaker 3: for joining us today. Please note that our show may

1063
00:58:19,360 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 3: contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and mental health,

1064
00:58:26,400 --> 00:58:29,200
Speaker 3: but is by no means meant to be a substitute

1065
00:58:29,360 --> 00:58:33,760
Speaker 3: for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained mental health provider.

1066
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 3: If you are someone you know is in need of

1067
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 3: mental health care, please visit a Therapy for Black Girls

1068
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:46,080
Speaker 3: directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

1069
00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:48,120
Speaker 4: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

1070
00:58:48,160 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 4: the conversation going, visit our website at herspacepodcast dot com

1071
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 4: and be sure to click the Patreon link to get

1072
00:58:54,640 --> 00:58:58,439
Speaker 4: access to video content, bonuses, and our weekly after show.

1073
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 4: And before we meet again, repeat after me. The universe

1074
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:07,200
Speaker 4: is conspiring for my success. I trust the process and

1075
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 4: surrender to the flow.