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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's combining two businesses you never

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Speaker 1: thought would go together, funeral homes and door Dash. No,

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Speaker 1: you want to get Granny going Dasher. You can even

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Speaker 1: follow the hearse's progress on the app with Laser Stories,

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Speaker 1: the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

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Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser

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Speaker 1: and those are the grave hubs.

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Speaker 2: Just don't you pay the extra.

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Speaker 3: Four dollars for Priority Direct Direct.

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Speaker 4: They could bring you fries on the way to your house,

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Speaker 4: so many benefits.

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Speaker 1: Let's go to your first laser story out of Moscow, Russia.

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Speaker 2: Interesting.

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Speaker 1: Three years ago, a forty three year old man named

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Speaker 1: Yuri Kustanov got an offer he couldn't refuse to leave

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Speaker 1: his downtown penthouse apartment and his crappy job and go

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Speaker 1: work in Siberia for triple the pay Siberia.

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Speaker 3: Though, God, you're gonna be out of my.

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Speaker 2: Eyes, say the reason why they have to offer triple

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Speaker 2: to pay? Yeah, also somewhere.

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Speaker 1: One day he locked up his place and left for Siberia.

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Speaker 1: And while he was there, he still paid his bills,

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Speaker 1: including his rent and his car insurance back home, but

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Speaker 1: he forgot one crucial thing. After being gone for three

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Speaker 1: long years, he came back to his apartment and realized

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Speaker 1: he forgot to close his living room window.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, leaving it just for a weekend when

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Speaker 4: you go away on a trip.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, unfortunately for Uri, all the local pigeons had

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Speaker 1: seled in on his couch and all over his furniture,

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Speaker 1: turning his place into a pigeon metropolis.

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Speaker 4: You guys, we found the perfect spots.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm showing some pictures to my co host here,

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Speaker 1: and there are so many nests and feathers and poop

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Speaker 1: it's hard to see the couch or the actual color

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Speaker 1: of the floor.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's not a pizza party. I wanted them to.

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Speaker 1: An exaggeration, so you can go see that on our

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Speaker 1: Insta stories at Broken. Jeffrey experts estimate that renovating the

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Speaker 1: apartment and replacing all the furniture would cost around thirty

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars today, and if he decides it's worth it,

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Speaker 1: Uri also has to consider the cost of making the

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Speaker 1: place safely habitable again, because pigeons are susceptible to various diseases,

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Speaker 1: including bird flu, so the floor and all the walls

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Speaker 1: would have to be treated with special chemicals just to

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Speaker 1: ensure no contaminants are left behind, to.

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Speaker 3: Fumigate the whole building, to just burn it down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah building, that's what Well, he's thinking of just leaving

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Speaker 1: it and going to buy a new place. Yeah, we'll

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Speaker 1: let the next owner handle those issues.

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Speaker 2: The next owner's actual pinchon, Let's go to your.

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Speaker 1: Next lazer story. Out of mashup mania, the strange collapse

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Speaker 1: just keep on coming. This time. The good people at

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Speaker 1: Reese's are teaming up with a toothpaste to brand and

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Speaker 1: they're launching a limited edition Reese's Peanut butter Cup toothpaste.

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Speaker 4: Okay, but I thought you were going to go the

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Speaker 4: opposite way. A Reese's Peanut butter cup filled with toothpaste.

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Speaker 2: You I would mess with a toothpaste.

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Speaker 1: Just look at the photos. Doesn't that make you want

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Speaker 1: to put it right in your mouth?

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Speaker 3: It's like creamy, smooth, chocolate.

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Speaker 2: Brown toothpaste.

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Speaker 1: I can taste it, look at The marketing team says

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Speaker 1: they were able to capture the unmistakable chocolate and peanut

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Speaker 1: butter flavor profile and combine it with a sugar free

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Speaker 1: fluoride formula to create a unique brushing experience.

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Speaker 2: I thought you said candy hurts our teeth?

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Speaker 1: Definitely donkey? So why and who asked for this? Apparently

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Speaker 1: we can all blame the Australians because they participated in

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Speaker 1: a survey and this was their top pick for a

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Speaker 1: special toothpaste that wasn't on the market yet.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, your breath doesn't smell better after this.

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Speaker 1: Fact. People a probably gonna avoid you after you brush

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Speaker 1: your tooth with this. But if you really want to

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Speaker 1: try it, you can order it and pay the international

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Speaker 1: shipping fees because it's only available over there. Okay, let's

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Speaker 1: go to your next laser story. Out of trend towns.

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Speaker 1: If you ask someone how they want their eggs and

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Speaker 1: they say frambled, they aren't just mumbling because they haven't

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Speaker 1: had their coffee yet. It's a real thing. Apparently. One

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Speaker 1: of the latest trends on TikTok is frambled eggs. Is

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Speaker 1: that what it is, mash up of fried and scrambled eggs,

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Speaker 1: and some claim it's an improvement. Actually on both they're

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Speaker 1: fairly simple to make. You just melt some butter or

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Speaker 1: oil in a nonstick skillet over low heat, and then

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Speaker 1: also some people add a little milk and you just

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Speaker 1: crack the eggs directly into the pan and use the

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Speaker 1: spatula to gently break up the egg whites. Yeah, moving

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Speaker 1: it around the cooking.

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Speaker 4: But you leave the yolk in tax so that you

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Speaker 4: can have a uzzy, good yoke.

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Speaker 1: Yes, at least till the very end when you crack them.

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Speaker 1: Here's what they look like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they don't look to me. They look very wet,

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Speaker 3: like they're very very undercooked.

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Speaker 2: I love running eggs, and this is not.

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Speaker 1: It's like someone spilled orange juice on snow.

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Speaker 3: The whites are also runny.

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Speaker 1: That's not good.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and nobody wants like, come on, nobody wants egg

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Speaker 4: white scramble.

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Speaker 2: That's what it is, egg white scramble with the good yolks.

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Speaker 3: But if they cook that for three, maybe four more minutes.

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Speaker 1: The idea is they're less annoying to make than fried eggs,

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Speaker 1: but supposedly easier than scrambled. They don't see them easier

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Speaker 1: to me.

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Speaker 4: It's more.

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Speaker 1: Cooking.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, how hard is cooking a fry?

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Speaker 1: They just don't want to Women in a Bowlfers, one

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Speaker 1: of the first frambled tiktoks that went viral, asked if

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Speaker 1: they invented something new no, they didn't. This has been

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Speaker 1: a thing for a while actually, with the name frambled

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Speaker 1: eggs or Sunny scrambled eggs. But now people are just

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Speaker 1: obsessing over it online.

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Speaker 2: Maybe we should stop payting and give it one try.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, who's gonna cook it? Though, Let's go to

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Speaker 1: your final laser story. Out of the wide wide world

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Speaker 1: of weight loss. For a while, experts thought GLP one

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Speaker 1: weight loss drugs like ozempic would crush the candy business. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because you know, smaller appetites means fewer snacks, which leads

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Speaker 1: to sadder chocolate factories.

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Speaker 3: Chocolate factory, I don't want to see that Willy Walk

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Speaker 3: a sequel.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well they're depressed. It turns out not so much.

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Speaker 1: And I say that because the gourmet Swiss chocolate company

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Speaker 1: LINT looked at new data and found premium chocolate sales

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Speaker 1: actually jumped nearly seventeen percent among ozebic users last year. Wo.

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Speaker 4: Maybe because they're finally like, hey, a loss of weight,

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Speaker 4: I can get a little treated, or as.

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Speaker 3: A diabet anytime my sugars come back with improvement, I can,

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Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm doing so good. I can afford

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Speaker 3: to cheat. And then that leads to more cheating.

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Speaker 1: It's a vicious cycle.

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Speaker 2: Is Little Chocolate balls or is such a good brand?

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Speaker 1: So what's going on instead of just mindlessly munching on

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Speaker 1: chips or pizza? The CEO of Lynn said they're upgrading

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Speaker 1: to premium products now.

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Speaker 4: So apparently that makes sense because you're not buying as

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Speaker 4: many of them.

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Speaker 1: You'll want the good stuff. So the new diet plans

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Speaker 1: pretty simple. Make your chocolate count and don't be cheap.

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Speaker 1: Only get the good stuff.

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Speaker 3: Ah yeah, top shelf.

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Speaker 1: I agree with that, and so does this guy, of course,

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Speaker 1: and he believes in only buying top shelf shoes, you know,

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Speaker 1: the ones that can really take a beata last a

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Speaker 1: lifetime once you gets them all. That's right, And that

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Speaker 1: sound means Laser Stories has come to an end for

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Speaker 1: the day. We'll do it again, same time a Monday