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Speaker 1: Hi everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Why

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Speaker 1: to Open. This week, we have Hannah Berner on, which

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Speaker 1: is actually one of my favorite episodes of both season

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Speaker 1: one and season two. I have not laughed this hard

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Speaker 1: in a long time, especially with a straight woman. Some

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Speaker 1: of my most exciting moments of twenty twenty six. I

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Speaker 1: think for me it's just it's really just staying consistent

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Speaker 1: with my habits. I really want to focus on my

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Speaker 1: overall health now that I'm starting twenty twenty six as

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Speaker 1: a forty year old woman. Yep, what a gift to

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Speaker 1: be able to even say that, What a gift it

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Speaker 1: is to be able to turn to turn forty. I

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Speaker 1: think time is something money can't buy, and very I'm

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Speaker 1: winning every day that I get to wake up and

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Speaker 1: live my life with my partner and my family and

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Speaker 1: my children. And I guess for me, twenty twenty six

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Speaker 1: has been very eye opening that outside factors don't have

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Speaker 1: to penetrate inside my home and an inside my safe

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Speaker 1: space and making sure I'm intentional. I say, I want

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Speaker 1: to be intentional for twenty twenty six and how I

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Speaker 1: speak to my children, how I speak things into existence,

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Speaker 1: who I choose to surround myself with the boundaries I

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Speaker 1: choose to set with friends and family and for my own,

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Speaker 1: you know, my own personal boundaries for growth. I think

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Speaker 1: the biggest factor here is just being intentional in my habits,

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Speaker 1: making sure I'm working out, make sure I'm fueling my

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Speaker 1: body creatively, physically, emotionally. I just want to have a

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Speaker 1: little more balance. And I think that's the hardest thing

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Speaker 1: we're always seeking, is you know, balance, And I want

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Speaker 1: to really continue bringing that into twenty twenty six and

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Speaker 1: try not to be so hyper fixated on the current

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Speaker 1: political climate. I think it steals my joy and it

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Speaker 1: steals my light. And even though I can keep fighting

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Speaker 1: for what's right, the best thing I can do is

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Speaker 1: show up and make sure I'm molding good humans. And

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Speaker 1: I'm teaching my children right from wrong and how to

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Speaker 1: serve each other and how to serve your community, how

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Speaker 1: to show up for your community. And I'm taking these

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Speaker 1: things really like this is the year of the Horse.

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Speaker 1: And I want to keep moving forward and I want to, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do, I do, And I don't want to keep

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Speaker 1: living in this chaos of the news cycle and hatred.

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Speaker 1: And I think just if we can start small within

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Speaker 1: our own home with than our own community, within our

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Speaker 1: own walls. I think that light continues to spread, and

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Speaker 1: that's what we want to do here, is we just

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Speaker 1: we want to keep spreading light. I love my friendships,

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Speaker 1: you know, with my straight friends, Like they are so hilarious,

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Speaker 1: and I love hearing the shenanigans that go on in

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Speaker 1: their homes and how much they, you know, are constantly

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Speaker 1: talking shit about their husbands. Like it's just so funny

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Speaker 1: to me, you know. I My best friend is straight

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Speaker 1: and is married, you know, and has two kids, and

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Speaker 1: I love the banter that goes back and forth, and

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Speaker 1: I'm always sending queer content to her, and it's just

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Speaker 1: like it's playful. That's what I love about Hannah, Like

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Speaker 1: I everything we do is so rooted and laughter and play,

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Speaker 1: and we don't do that enough as an adult. Like

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Speaker 1: when I'm with Hannah, I laugh all the time. And

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Speaker 1: we can poke fun at our different relationships. We can

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Speaker 1: laugh about masculinity, we can laugh about all of the things.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's what's so beautiful about friendship in general.

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Speaker 1: And we like we talked shit about the funny things

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Speaker 1: in life, about being straight or being gay, and like

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Speaker 1: that's what makes us human. And I really value my

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Speaker 1: straight friendships, but it's very clear that it's just not

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Speaker 1: made for me. It's just not like I just I

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Speaker 1: can respect it, but like dating a man is just

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Speaker 1: absolutely out of the question. So enjoy this because you

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Speaker 1: guys are not going to want to miss it. Here's

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Speaker 1: wide open.

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Speaker 2: Judge me because it's noon here. Oh a drink, drink

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Speaker 2: like a fucking drank.

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Speaker 3: Well I just chugged a peppermint moocha, so she's about

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Speaker 3: to get crazy on this spot.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, if you have to leave for five minutes,

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Speaker 1: no one's gonna judge you.

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Speaker 3: It don't hit in about forty five. Let's go.

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Speaker 1: Oh how I miss you.

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Speaker 3: I'm so happy we're finally doing this. I miss you

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Speaker 3: well forever to show up, well, because I wanted to

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Speaker 3: have energy because I've been on tour and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: if I'm going on Ashton's podcast, I need to be

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Speaker 3: jacked up, ready to talk shit, and I've been like

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Speaker 3: on tour sleeping.

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Speaker 1: Well you know what, I went to your show in

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Speaker 1: New York and I fucking I got called out. Did

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Speaker 1: you know about this? I don't even know if we

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Speaker 1: ever talked about it.

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Speaker 3: Did my Did Ali call you out?

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Speaker 1: Yes? Yeah, she was hitting me with so many lesbian jokes.

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Speaker 2: I love that way.

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Speaker 1: You just start starting the podcast. We're not in you

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Speaker 1: know what, everyone can fucking wait, guys.

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Speaker 3: This is an interview, this is a catch up. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I of course all her materials, big old fucking

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Speaker 1: lesbian jokes. So I fucking laughed so loud, I cackled,

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Speaker 1: and it was in that giant what is it called,

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Speaker 1: It's like Carnegie Hall, Popular or something.

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Speaker 3: People say symphony, some kind of symphony.

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Speaker 1: Something like that. My laugh and cackle went like bounce

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Speaker 1: from this fucking wall to that wall and then back

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Speaker 1: to this wall and then back down to Ali. And

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Speaker 1: she was like, I like, she literally called me out.

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I think someone just like squirt it.

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Speaker 1: It was so funny.

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Speaker 3: That's so annoying too, because like you're laughing, you're giving

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Speaker 3: her what she wants, and then she's also making falls

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Speaker 3: for it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I was like, fuck's sake, you know what the thing is?

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Speaker 1: It was so big. I was so high up, like

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Speaker 1: no one knew it was me, but then every you know,

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Speaker 1: I was like by your parents and your dad's like

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Speaker 1: I see you, and then I was like, oh, like

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Speaker 1: Lauren's here too, and her why Okay, So here we go,

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Speaker 1: let's get it. This is gonna be a fun night.

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Speaker 3: It was kind of the spot for all the girl

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Speaker 3: lesbians of New York City and my dad.

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Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. Seems to be a common theme for you.

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Speaker 1: So do you want to tell us something?

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Speaker 3: This is a.

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Speaker 1: Very heavy queer audience. So I'm like, you know, straight

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Speaker 1: woman married to a man in a.

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Speaker 3: Lesbian relationship though even though it's a man, even though

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Speaker 3: he's a man.

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Speaker 1: So there's the truth. I was like, ex tennis player,

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Speaker 1: energy is undeniable basketball game all queer girls straight.

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Speaker 3: Look. One thing about me is I love lesbians more

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Speaker 3: than any of you, and I yes you do. Let

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Speaker 3: me do a shout out to lesbians because lesbians literally

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Speaker 3: paved the way for every straight girl to do anything

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Speaker 3: thanks fact fact. Like I don't know history, but historically

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure every woman that did anything was because

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Speaker 3: she didn't care about what the men thought about her

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Speaker 3: because she was gay. And ye was just like Amelia Ernard,

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Speaker 3: who knows.

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Speaker 4: I'm just calling people out, like every woman in politics,

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Speaker 4: like I just feel like so many of them paved

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Speaker 4: the way, and especially in sports and comedy, it's always

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Speaker 4: the lesbian that's like, well, I'm gonna do it because

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Speaker 4: I want to do it, and then the straight girls

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Speaker 4: are like, I guess we could.

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Speaker 2: Do it too.

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Speaker 1: Also, you're not fucking wrong. I'm total I'm over here.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, keep going, No.

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Speaker 3: It's true. And I think I like admire that lesbians

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Speaker 3: don't care what men think and they don't consider the

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Speaker 3: patriarchy in what they do, and it's like we have

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Speaker 3: to learn from the lesbians. And I also just was

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Speaker 3: raised by my dad as with like no gender like

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Speaker 3: I was very raised in and I was never told

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Speaker 3: like your princess.

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Speaker 1: That's why we love him so much.

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Speaker 3: We love my dad, We love your dad, and my

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Speaker 3: dad loves loves loves that basketball game.

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Speaker 1: That connection was Chef's kiss.

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Speaker 3: Can I tell the story?

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Speaker 1: Please hold on, let me introduce you. Oh yeah, sorry

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Speaker 1: one before we even fucking jump into that story, because

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Speaker 1: I need you. Well everyone, if you don't know, welcome

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Speaker 1: Hannah Berner to the show. Honey, thank you. She is

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Speaker 1: clearly straight, which we will unpack later, but she's a comedian, author,

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Speaker 1: podcast host, uh D, one athlete, period and I'm a

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Speaker 1: really big ally of the community. So welcome to wide Open.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, and here is the floor to tell your

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Speaker 1: lesbian story about your dad at the Liberty basketball game.

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Speaker 1: Let's just open it right So we're flowing the door

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Speaker 1: right open.

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Speaker 3: My dad is best friends with you and Sophia. I'm

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Speaker 3: just a tag along by the way pretty much. But

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Speaker 3: my dad growing up, I was a tennis player. I

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Speaker 3: played Division one. My dream was always to win Wimbledon,

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Speaker 3: and my dad was always my coach. And my dad

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Speaker 3: has such a passion for women's sports. One thing about

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Speaker 3: me and you because I was, you know, doing my

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Speaker 3: little research on you prepod because I'm a fucking professional.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you will biking, so a.

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Speaker 3: Lot of female athletes. I played on the boys tennis

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Speaker 3: team in high school and when I graduated, there was

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Speaker 3: a lot of drama because we didn't have funding for

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Speaker 3: a male team, and they ended up giving us funding.

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Speaker 3: And then my dad coached the first women's team in

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Speaker 3: high school. So my dad just loves women in sports,

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Speaker 3: so he's and we come from a basketball household. My

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Speaker 3: grandpa was a high school Brooklyn coach, the kind of

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Speaker 3: guy in movies where like he pulled tall kids off

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Speaker 3: the streets and be like, you're gonna go to college.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna teach you how to rebound. And then be like,

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Speaker 3: mister b thank you for believing in me, and like

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Speaker 3: he was that guy. And my dad just loves basketball,

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Speaker 3: and I think he because he saw sports through my eyes.

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Speaker 3: He he is obsessed with women's sports. So long story short,

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Speaker 3: we get to invite to go to the Liberty Game,

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Speaker 3: which if you haven't gone, gone, if you haven't gone,

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Speaker 3: you gotta check.

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Speaker 1: You got you gotta get gone gone, You've gone and gone.

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Speaker 3: It's a scene. And I walk in with my dad

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Speaker 3: and it's Renee Stubbs, who as a tennis player, Like

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Speaker 3: I know you guys, she's just like your bestie. To me,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, you're the greatest. Like the volleys on that

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Speaker 3: woman are just spectacular.

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Speaker 1: To see the fucking arms on her.

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Speaker 3: Oh she's not messing around.

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Speaker 2: She's got a wing span, Yes she does.

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Speaker 3: So I walk in and it's just like all the

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Speaker 3: coolest lesbians that ever lived, and they owned it. It's

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Speaker 3: almost like ai lesbians. It's like she was a you know,

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Speaker 3: Olympic soccer player, she's an Olympic basketball player. She owns

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Speaker 3: a vagina business, like it's like so so gay, it's okay.

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Speaker 3: And then my very straight, like trumpy looking dad that

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Speaker 3: is and you can tell like everyone's having fun. Then

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Speaker 3: they just see my dad sitting there quiet, and then

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Speaker 3: my dad is like, by the way, you know, if

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Speaker 3: I see Brianna Stewart, I'm gonna cry. And then I

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Speaker 3: think they realize she's the biggest ally there, clearly not Trumpe.

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Speaker 1: At all, not Trumpet at all.

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Speaker 3: And supe Bird is behind him, which, by the way,

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Speaker 3: sup Bird is his like his number, like he loves

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Speaker 3: super Bird more than me. And Renee sees me like

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Speaker 3: look over and be like that superd and Renee goes

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Speaker 3: in her Australian accent, which I can't do. She's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I introduce him whatever out back stay house. Yeah, So

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Speaker 3: she introduces Sue to my dad. My dad starts to cry, oh,

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Speaker 3: I remember this, can't can't get anything out of his mouth,

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Speaker 3: can't speak, embarrasses me. And then by the end, I

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Speaker 3: don't know if this happened by just envisioned all of

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Speaker 3: the lesbians just like carrying him and like chanting, and

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Speaker 3: we had.

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Speaker 1: Lift seen him up, him up literally carrying on the shoulder,

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Speaker 1: and I do have.

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Speaker 3: To say we are like such a Brooklyn family. We're

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Speaker 3: not like we were never into soccer. It's like the

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Speaker 3: one sport we weren't into. So then I pull him

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Speaker 3: aside and I'm like, you don't understand, like who Ashlyn is?

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Speaker 3: Like this is like I have to explain in soccer terms,

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Speaker 3: like what she's done. And then he's like obsessed with

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Speaker 3: you now and he's like he just can't. He just

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Speaker 3: we love athletes who have pushed themselves to like be

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Speaker 3: as great as they can be. So anyway, it was

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Speaker 3: an honor to spend that night with you, and now were.

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Speaker 1: It really was and we are and you know what

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Speaker 1: that was the first Also, you're not talking about how

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Speaker 1: you walked into that place, how you were looking and

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Speaker 1: you're tie and butt up and I was like, who

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Speaker 1: is this gay girl? I am so lesbian passing you

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Speaker 1: are And then you were like, oh my husband, I said,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck?

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Speaker 2: Did I hear that?

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Speaker 3: Right when I was hit on for like a second

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Speaker 3: and I was like, this has been fun, but I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: I have a lesbian man at home.

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Speaker 2: Those are the best kind.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the problem.

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Speaker 3: Is I think because he's a performer, Like we're just

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Speaker 3: in like a very we're in such a like partnership.

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Speaker 1: So it's a fruity bubbles, very fruity bubbles.

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Speaker 3: But also I joke like I need the manliest man

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Speaker 3: because any like normal like five nine dude, I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I could pick you up and throw you. I want

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Speaker 3: to feel like a tiny, dainty angel. So I found

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Speaker 3: this like big.

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Speaker 2: Man from Queens who talks like this, and.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I love but he lets he doesn't.

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Speaker 3: He lets me be me and be like and shine,

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Speaker 3: and I think that's very important when you're in a

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Speaker 3: relationship with a man that he's not dimming you.

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Speaker 1: Yes that part. And also he's older, he knows exactly

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Speaker 1: who he is, So don't find a child, find a man.

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Speaker 1: There's a differences. There's no insecurity, there's no projection, there's

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Speaker 1: no shrink yourself so I can float and you know,

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Speaker 1: you can be on the floor. Now we're not doing that.

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Speaker 3: You're so right about the age. I joke because age

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Speaker 3: is Kate. He's tired, so he doesn't have the time.

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Speaker 3: He's not fighting with me. He's like whatever you want,

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Speaker 3: Like I'm going to bed. I'm snorting an ad villain

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Speaker 3: going to bed. But it's funny. I feel like a

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Speaker 3: lot of gay relationships have age gaps, so that's why

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Speaker 3: I also think I'm kind of in a lesbian relationship,

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Speaker 3: like I found an older, wiser lesbian lesbian.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I see nothing wrong and that's why it's

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Speaker 1: gonna work. So congratulations, don't go through what I did?

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Speaker 3: Are you? Gold star?

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Speaker 1: No? God, No, I've had sex with so many men.

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Speaker 1: If any of them are watching, they're like, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I don't deserve it. But also when I think back,

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Speaker 1: and they're not going to like this, but they're probably

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Speaker 1: not listening.

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Speaker 2: They're not your demo there, No, they're not very like

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Speaker 2: lesbian queer forward. You would be slightly confused.

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Speaker 1: I saw my high school. Oh my god, I can't

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Speaker 1: believe I'm just letting it all fly off.

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Speaker 3: Here we are.

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Speaker 1: I should I be a fucking comedian talking about me

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Speaker 1: slaming men like this is I don't know who is hammering.

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Speaker 3: This is a professional podcast, and I'm like, have many

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Speaker 3: guys if you fack?

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Speaker 1: No, But seriously, my I had a first off brought

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Speaker 1: Sophia to my twenty five year like year high school

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Speaker 1: reunion twenty five or twenty math that's important. Not important.

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Speaker 1: So I see my high school sweetheart. We're not gonna

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Speaker 1: name names, but comes up to me and I'm literally like,

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Speaker 1: here's my girlfriend. Her name is Sophia, blah blah blah blah.

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Speaker 1: And we're like, few drinks, you know, everyone starts to

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Speaker 1: everyone's so uptight, so I'm just like flying off the

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Speaker 1: rail having a good time. And then I see like

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Speaker 1: drinks are starting to flow, and he like says something

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Speaker 1: to me, and I'm like, ah, never imagine I'd be

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Speaker 1: this fucking gay.

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Speaker 2: Did you like it wasn't you, it was me, you.

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Speaker 1: Know, type of And he goes because he's you know,

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Speaker 1: he works really hard and he does like a lot

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Speaker 1: of cable line stuff, and he's really high up in

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Speaker 1: the air, and he's like, do you know how much

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Speaker 1: shit I get? People knowing like you were my Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like literally, do you know how much shit I get?

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, I mean, I mean.

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Speaker 2: You should be.

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Speaker 1: That should be a notch on your damn belt. I

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Speaker 1: see nothing metal that's a gold medal. If it's not

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Speaker 1: a gold star, it's a gold medal, gold medal. That

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Speaker 1: was that was what he said to me after twenty

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Speaker 1: five years, like, if you only knew the ship I

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Speaker 1: get on those lines from people hassling and heckling me,

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't you wouldn't believe it, And I'm like.

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Speaker 2: Well, here we are.

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Speaker 3: This also remind me why I love the gays is

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Speaker 3: you are inherently funny because you've had to overcome so

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Speaker 3: much like identity trauma, Like you have to use humor

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Speaker 3: to cope with it.

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Speaker 1: Oh you have. Can I tell you how I told

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Speaker 1: my brother I was gay and dating a woman. So

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Speaker 1: if you don't know about my past life, I really

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Speaker 1: love a titty bar.

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Speaker 2: Shocker said no one. I'm like, why do I love

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00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:05,919
Speaker 2: titty bars?

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00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,000
Speaker 1: And all of these men?

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Speaker 2: Hello?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? So I was like, oh, I was in my

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Speaker 1: small little town and I like came home from a

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Speaker 1: trip and I was, you know, with the national team

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Speaker 1: at the time, very early on, I was living in

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Speaker 1: DC playing for the Freedom and I don't know, it

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00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,720
Speaker 1: probably was a holiday, probably Christmas. I'm like, we're going

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Speaker 1: a titty bar. I'm not sitting in this Republican space.

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Speaker 1: I gotta get the fuck out of here and see

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Speaker 1: some boobies. So he's sitting there and we're talking. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: like having so much fun. I was like, I just

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Speaker 1: wanted you to know I'm dating a woman. And then

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Speaker 1: it's my dollars are flying. He's like like it was

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Speaker 1: such whiplash for him.

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Speaker 3: He has the boobs in your face, just so you

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Speaker 3: know I'm gay.

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Speaker 1: So this isn't like just this isn't for fun, this

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Speaker 1: is reality. Okay. So it's so funny because I've never

356
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Speaker 1: told I need to write a book. I think there's

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00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 1: just so many funny stories about being gay and the

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Speaker 1: things that you do, and like, you know, I was like, okay,

359
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 1: so what is he going to do? Run out of

360
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,080
Speaker 1: this titty bar. He's gonna look he's going to look

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00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 1: like the little fruitcake. So I told him. He's so sweet.

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00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: He wrapped his arms around me and then he was like,

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Speaker 1: that's great. Tell me all about it. I told my

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Speaker 1: dad and he goes, honey, we knew I raised you.

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Speaker 2: I was like, no hesitation at all.

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Speaker 1: None. Yeah, but he was like, girl, tell me something

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Speaker 1: is that it is that all you got today?

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Speaker 3: It's funny because I think about sports and how that

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00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:44,119
Speaker 3: like really consumed me. But to also be like battling,

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Speaker 3: like questioning and feeling guilty, Like I feel guilty about losing,

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Speaker 3: but to also feel guilty about what my parents might

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Speaker 3: think about my sexuality, Like it adds so many layers

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Speaker 3: to your teenagehood. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really care too much about my parents knowing

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Speaker 1: because they were such a fucking mess. But I was

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Speaker 1: really I was really worried about my mama papa.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, this is Fox News people

379
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 1: all up in here, ex military. So I told her

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00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 1: and she was like, that, boy, Tyler, what did he

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00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: do to you?

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Speaker 3: Blame the man? I love that. Yeah.

383
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 1: So here, Yeah, that's my life story on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be interviewing you.

385
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,800
Speaker 3: No, I'm literally so sick of myself. I love Also,

386
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:31,879
Speaker 3: I'm like fascinated about you. So I'm like, tell me everything.

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00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 1: Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after

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Speaker 1: this brief message from our sponsors.

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Speaker 3: But it's funny because I grew up in the most

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Speaker 3: lesbian neighborhood in the world's Parksville, Brooklyn.

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Speaker 2: Oh it makes sense.

392
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,959
Speaker 3: I grew up and you would just see power lesbians

393
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,159
Speaker 3: with their strollers. They're all like CEOs and that's just

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Speaker 3: And I also grew up I mean Parksville, Brooklyn, Like

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00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 3: I remember in fourth grade having like speeches about you know,

396
00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,280
Speaker 3: some people are raised by their grandparents. Some people have

397
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 3: one dad, some people have two moms. Like that was

398
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 3: just how I was raised. So when I like went

399
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:14,200
Speaker 3: to college and realized there's people who are like intolerant.

400
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 3: When I went to University of Wisconsin and everyone like

401
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 3: looked the same, I was like, what is going? Like

402
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,640
Speaker 3: I thought the whole world was like that. And that's

403
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 3: my own little like fruity bubble that I grew up in.

404
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,200
Speaker 1: I love it, and all my gay friends lived there,

405
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: so it's so on brand.

406
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 3: And these we're so powerful. And I think also as

407
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 3: I get older, I just love surrounding myself with really

408
00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 3: fucking smart, powerful women. So I think that's why when

409
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,399
Speaker 3: I was sitting at the same at that gay table,

410
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 3: I said, I belong here into.

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Speaker 2: And you're tie. It was so good.

412
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, And now you're wearing it on your comedy like

413
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,639
Speaker 1: show right now every single dayn night, and I love it.

414
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:57,679
Speaker 1: It's a staple. I do think we're gonna get to that,

415
00:22:57,760 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 1: so we can't talk. We're jumping ahead too much. Yeah,

416
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:01,560
Speaker 1: time for me to ask you some question.

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00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,919
Speaker 3: Sorry, okay, shut up.

418
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, so we all know you were a Division one athlete,

419
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,439
Speaker 1: we spoke about it. Did you always know that you

420
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: were funny and that you wanted to pivot?

421
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 3: Like?

422
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 1: When did the swing happen for you? Because you were

423
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 1: you still are really fucking good tennis player, and you

424
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: do so much. You show up all the time, and

425
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 1: now you're like kind of doing these fun little commentating

426
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:30,200
Speaker 1: moments that are we should do this more, by the way,

427
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: because if I want to listen to anyone, it would

428
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:36,199
Speaker 1: be you. But when was the shift? When was the

429
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,399
Speaker 1: shift for you when you like cause you said like

430
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: your goal was to go to Wimbledon and do all

431
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 1: these great things in sports, but clearly now you're an

432
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 1: incredible comedian and doing all the things in the art form.

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Speaker 3: Well, I love being on this pod because, like I

434
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 3: said before, I'm an athlete first, Like that's how I identify.

435
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: So when people like you're a comedian, I'm like, well, yeah,

436
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,120
Speaker 3: as after my dream, this is what I fell into.

437
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 3: Like I'm like this, I don't want Yeah, this is

438
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,239
Speaker 3: my like plan D. But when I was younger, I

439
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 3: was always very goofy, very performing, very silly, and I

440
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 3: was into like acting and performing, but I also just

441
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,919
Speaker 3: happened to be like genetically very athletic, like you know,

442
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 3: I'm everything my parents put me in, like I was

443
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 3: really fast and I have great hand eye, and I'm powerful,

444
00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 3: And the coaches always pulled them aside, like you know,

445
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 3: if she focuses, she could go pro in this. And

446
00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 3: I come from a sports family, and my dad once

447
00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,160
Speaker 3: told me, I don't know if this is why I'm

448
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 3: in therapy, but he was like he basically said, the

449
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:45,040
Speaker 3: only way to be successful in life is to play

450
00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 3: a game professionally. Like that was that's.

451
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,200
Speaker 1: Because he's dropping dying.

452
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:55,040
Speaker 3: That's his dad. You know, he grew up with a

453
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 3: basketball coach. Like that was what I saw his success. Like, yeah,

454
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 3: acting and performing is cute, but like for like my

455
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 3: family bed be proud of me. I wanted to go pro.

456
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 3: And I remember at like eight years old telling my

457
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,399
Speaker 3: parents like I want to become a professional tennis player,

458
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 3: and how they talked to one of the coaches and

459
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 3: they were like, you know, she needed to start like

460
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,760
Speaker 3: two years earlier with like real lessons if she wanted

461
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 3: to go pro. And I remember I just had this

462
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 3: weird fire as a kid where I was like, I'm

463
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:30,719
Speaker 3: gonna show them, And around like nine years old, I

464
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 3: was like, I'm going to be a professional tennis player.

465
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 3: Not to get too deep, but I do think as

466
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 3: a New Yorker, really fucking dark right now. But when

467
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 3: I was like ten, that's when you know, nine to

468
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,800
Speaker 3: eleven happened, and I remember just it was kind of scary,

469
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 3: and I remember just being like, if I just focus

470
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 3: on sports, that's the only thing I can control. And

471
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,800
Speaker 3: I think I put all my anxiety into tennis. I

472
00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 3: was like, if I win, the world makes sense. If

473
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 3: I lose, I need to fucking get my shit together.

474
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 3: And I just kind of became obsessed with tennis. And

475
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,959
Speaker 3: I had really a creative side. I love to paint,

476
00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:10,560
Speaker 3: I love to act, I love to write poems. But

477
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,520
Speaker 3: I kind of just like suppressed it because I knew

478
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,080
Speaker 3: if you want to go pro, you have to.

479
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 1: Like this is the commitment, let up, yeah level to

480
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:20,479
Speaker 1: be the best.

481
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 3: So you know, I started, you know, by fourteen, I

482
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 3: was ranked like top fifteen in the nation. I moved

483
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 3: to Florida. I was trained like it.

484
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 1: Was are you an IMG baby?

485
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 3: It was near IMG. It was it was like a

486
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 3: smaller one because IMG was like a little factory scary.

487
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 3: It was like a smaller But anyway, they're like, if

488
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 3: you want to go pro, if you're in New York City,

489
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 3: you're not going to be hitting as many tennis balls

490
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 3: as the Florida girls. I was just I was all in. Yeah,

491
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 3: And by sixteen, I actually, you know you're alone, you're

492
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 3: not living with your family. And I think I just

493
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:57,919
Speaker 3: felt like too much. I put too much pressure on myself.

494
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 3: I wanted it so bad. Yeah, And I also was

495
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 3: like there were changes in my game. I was getting

496
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 3: in my head. I just it was so intense that

497
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: I said I want to go back home. And I

498
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,679
Speaker 3: remember my dad saying if you quit now, like I

499
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:13,399
Speaker 3: still love you.

500
00:27:14,119 --> 00:27:16,560
Speaker 1: Oh, like he is, this is your dad to a tea.

501
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,800
Speaker 3: He literally was like like when when I'd win, it

502
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: was like the highest highs and like we did it together.

503
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 3: But I think like we were just so invested in it.

504
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 3: So then he was like, I'll step back, like I

505
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,880
Speaker 3: want you to be happy, and I looked at him

506
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 3: and I was like, let's keep going, motherfucker. So that's

507
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 3: when I kept playing. And you know, I went to

508
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,400
Speaker 3: University Wisconsin and I was playing one for University of Wisconsin.

509
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 3: But you know what, I had really bad performance anxiety.

510
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:50,680
Speaker 3: And I didn't know that I really hated competition. I

511
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:53,560
Speaker 3: didn't I didn't know I hated competition. I just knew

512
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 3: that it was like judgment day. So like I was

513
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 3: that player who like I love training. I was, you know,

514
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 3: first one at practice. I was loved like I played

515
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 3: so well in practice and then you know, I'd figure

516
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 3: it out through the matches. But I wasn't free. I

517
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 3: wasn't in the zone. I was battling my fucking demons

518
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 3: and I would get the yips every other week. But

519
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 3: I kept like I was winning, like I was doing

520
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:26,399
Speaker 3: really well, but not well enough to be like this makes.

521
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 1: Sense, yeah, and this is destroying my I have an

522
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,320
Speaker 1: internal struggle, but I hope everyone's enjoying it.

523
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,919
Speaker 3: But you know, when like that's all you know?

524
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I say this, Hannah, I say this too,

525
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: and you'll know this. You were conditioned to suffer and

526
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:46,520
Speaker 1: feel and carry that load as a professional athlete at

527
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: a very young age. And I think that I talk

528
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: about this all the time, is I have to unlearn

529
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 1: so many toxic traits that made me a great athlete.

530
00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 3: M And you know what, I know times have changed

531
00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 3: and I'm not trying to be like gen Z's but

532
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 3: like we I mean, I'm thirty four. It was abusive,

533
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,479
Speaker 3: like it was very it was so bad. But I

534
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 3: remember like doing planks on a tennis court where like

535
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:20,200
Speaker 3: my skin started like melting into the court and they

536
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,480
Speaker 3: were like, do you want to be a champion or not? Like,

537
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 3: so you're you have to quiet your own emotions and

538
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 3: your own voice so much that you and I love

539
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 3: talking to you about this because I know you understand.

540
00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 3: So you don't have your own voice, You're a robot.

541
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 3: And I'm this like creative, goofy kid who's basically like

542
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 3: numb and my body's rejecting this intense competition. But I

543
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:47,080
Speaker 3: all I know is when something's hard, you go yeah,

544
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,200
Speaker 3: and if I want to be a champion, I have

545
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 3: to overcome it. There's no like walk away.

546
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 1: You learn you But here's the thing. You learn to

547
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:59,600
Speaker 1: abandon yourself very very early. That is the issue. And

548
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 1: this the thing that I don't like when athletes now

549
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: are having mental health breaks and being very open about it,

550
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,240
Speaker 1: it seems to be a for like a sign of weakness.

551
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 1: I mean, now this new generation is getting it. But

552
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: like we abandoned ourself so quickly as children to be successful.

553
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: There's no I in team. Like it's like you've got

554
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 1: to learn to push through the pain and the madness

555
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,320
Speaker 1: and you have to be all in to be the greatest.

556
00:30:31,160 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: And there was no such thing as balance. There was

557
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 1: no such thing as like, oh you mean I can

558
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 1: actually enjoy doing this. That didn't exist because it was

559
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,959
Speaker 1: like no pain, no gain, Like we were raised in

560
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: this like it felt like boot camp. It was like

561
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: military and then all of a suid yeah, and then

562
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 1: all of a sudden when it ends, they're like be

563
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: a common folk, but louck And I'm like running around like.

564
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 3: You're so jacked up. And that's it's so funny because

565
00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:07,520
Speaker 3: I was a perfect specimen of someone who I remember

566
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 3: I would We were just doing like tons of suicides,

567
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,000
Speaker 3: which I don't think you're allowed to call that anymore.

568
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:18,120
Speaker 3: We were doing unalives and you're running back and forth

569
00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,760
Speaker 3: and I was winning all of them, but I'm dying,

570
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 3: and I remember turning to my coach being like, I

571
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,479
Speaker 3: don't think this is what I need, right now, and

572
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 3: he thought I was being like trying to get out

573
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 3: of it, and I was like, my brain is fucked up.

574
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 3: I know I'm the fastest girl on the team, not

575
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,160
Speaker 3: helping me like I'm not. I'm still double faulting in

576
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:41,360
Speaker 3: my matches. I can't run anymore. I'm I have nothing left.

577
00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 3: And it was like, what I'm realizing now is how

578
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 3: much having fun actually is important for the longevity of

579
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 3: someone's career, and having actual confidence in yourself, not just

580
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 3: playing out of the fear of not losing, is what

581
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 3: you need for a long a long term career. I

582
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 3: do think like I remember them even bringing up like

583
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 3: breathing and coaches being like, no one cares about your

584
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 3: breath like anything. No, Because I said to the coach,

585
00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm the fittest person on the team and

586
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,440
Speaker 3: my brain is a mess. Why are we still running?

587
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 1: Mm hmm?

588
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 3: And but coach and also like you said, how you

589
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 3: betray yourself. Early on, I remember a coach being like,

590
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 3: forget everything you know, just trust me, just listen to me.

591
00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 3: I will take you there. So and I'm like these

592
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 3: so I'm like, Okay, it's you. They're literally saying, don't

593
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 3: listen to yourself, don't listen to your gut. And after tennis,

594
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:47,640
Speaker 3: like like you said, one day, you're they're just like okay, bye,

595
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 3: and you go from being like captain of your team

596
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 3: to being an intern, you know, holding people's coats and

597
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 3: they're like, what do you want and you're like, what

598
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,040
Speaker 3: do I want? Ask my oh, which I don't know. Yeah,

599
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,240
Speaker 3: And it's I really think that all the stuff I

600
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 3: went through with tennis is why my comedy career has

601
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:14,440
Speaker 3: ascended pretty quickly considering yeah, in general, because I had

602
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 3: a career before, and all the emotions and everything I

603
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 3: learned gave me this voice that was just waiting to

604
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 3: come out.

605
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 1: Oh I love that and that's so powerful because I

606
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,800
Speaker 1: was going to ask you, if you had such severe

607
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 1: performance anxiety playing how does that translate into your like

608
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: comedy when you're on stage and there's thousands of people

609
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: you know in the audience, and like I it's you know,

610
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: I know, tennis is solo, but there's tactical things like

611
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 1: I gotta do this. I like, the preparation is very

612
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 1: clear what you have to do right. I feel that

613
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 1: in comedy for me, there would be so much more

614
00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 1: pressure because the audiences are so different where you travel,

615
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: and you have to like somehow get everyone to buy

616
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:10,800
Speaker 1: in to this performance from all different walks of life,

617
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 1: all different corners of the country or the world, and

618
00:34:14,120 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 1: get them like falling on your every word. Like that's

619
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 1: a lot of fucking stress, dude, what do you mean

620
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 1: it feels very similar? How do you How did you

621
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,719
Speaker 1: navigate that with the performance?

622
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 3: Anxiety Such a good question. I do think people will say, like,

623
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 3: public speaking is my biggest fear, and I get that

624
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,560
Speaker 3: a lot, and I'm like, for me, hitting a forehand

625
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 3: was my biggest but hitting a second serve against Duke

626
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 3: at sick so on the tiebreak, I'd want.

627
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:44,879
Speaker 1: To throw up, fucked up.

628
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,680
Speaker 3: What I would say is that because of all my

629
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:51,360
Speaker 3: experience with tennis, I was able to, like, you know,

630
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 3: they talk about reparenting, I almost like recoached myself and

631
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:59,040
Speaker 3: I was like, I want to approach comedy. How I

632
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:03,759
Speaker 3: didn't approach yes. And I also think with tennis there's

633
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,840
Speaker 3: a lot of rules. You gotta literally stay in between

634
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:11,040
Speaker 3: the lines. And I actually was a very I am

635
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 3: a very creative kind of adhd person and even on

636
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 3: the court, I would get in trouble for laughing during workouts,

637
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,960
Speaker 3: I would get in trouble for losing focus. I'd be

638
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:23,480
Speaker 3: chatting it up with my teammates and some of the

639
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 3: top girls were just like robots. And I do remember

640
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,040
Speaker 3: the first time I did stand up, my friend like

641
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,040
Speaker 3: dared me to do it, and as I'm walking onto

642
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 3: the stage, I remember thinking, Oh my god, is this

643
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 3: going to be just like Tennis? And I'm like, when

644
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 3: the second I get up on that stage, am I

645
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:48,080
Speaker 3: going to doubt myself and be scared of whatever? I'm

646
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 3: going to disappoint people? Da? Da da da. I don't

647
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,600
Speaker 3: know why. The second I got on the stage, I

648
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 3: felt at home wow, and I felt like I was

649
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 3: at brunch with my friends. And when the moment came

650
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 3: to hit the line that I knew I needed to hit,

651
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,600
Speaker 3: I hit it better than I did in practice, and

652
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:12,040
Speaker 3: I'd never done that with Tennis. And I remember thinking

653
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 3: when I got off, instead of being hard on myself

654
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 3: or whatever I go this career, I'm gonna be nice

655
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 3: to myself. I'm gonna be productive, I'm gonna enjoy it.

656
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 3: And the second I stop having fun, I'm out. Yeah.

657
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 3: So I I do think it's what I'm meant to do,

658
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 3: and I do think that I wouldn't be as good

659
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 3: at it if I didn't do tennis. But I always say,

660
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 3: like it's like a surfing metaphor, when you hit the

661
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:40,520
Speaker 3: right wave.

662
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,760
Speaker 1: You just are smooth step.

663
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 3: And I was good at tennis because I was athletic

664
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:47,239
Speaker 3: and I did like performing, but I also was in

665
00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:50,080
Speaker 3: my head. But with comedy, when you're in your head,

666
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:54,439
Speaker 3: it makes you better. So when I'm doing a bit

667
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:56,399
Speaker 3: and then I see someone wearing a weird fucking hat

668
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 3: on the side, I start coming at them for the hat,

669
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 3: well also saying what I'm thinking my head, which is sorry, guys,

670
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 3: I'm like all over the place. So me expressing my

671
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 3: vulnerability with comedy is what makes me good at what

672
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 3: I do. Where with tennis, my being like my dad's

673
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,359
Speaker 3: standing there, that girl's over there, I'm playing her next round,

674
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 3: she's watching me. That fucked me.

675
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 1: Up, distractions couldn't focus on the task at hand, yep.

676
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:28,080
Speaker 3: Where comedy also, you have to be in the moment

677
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 3: when I'm on the stage. If you're not in the moment,

678
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:36,360
Speaker 3: you can't speak. So even though I still you know,

679
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 3: I deal with anxiety, I deal with questioning myself. When

680
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 3: you're on the adrenaline you get you have your brain

681
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 3: has to shut off.

682
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, where.

683
00:37:44,840 --> 00:37:47,799
Speaker 3: Tennis, I really couldn't get my brain to shut off,

684
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,920
Speaker 3: and I really would find the zone.

685
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:55,840
Speaker 1: It's incredible the parallels of which you know, it's probably Hannah,

686
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: takes so much work to be where you are today

687
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 1: and not carry that into your art form, Like and

688
00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:10,919
Speaker 1: you're young, which is crazy to hear the growth you've

689
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 1: had because as someone who's been an athlete as well

690
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 1: as you, that shit could really tear you apart. For like,

691
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 1: I still see like my friends who didn't make it,

692
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:28,840
Speaker 1: who loved soccer, fucking loved it. And then this obsession

693
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: moves on into their it bleeds into their profession, it

694
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,440
Speaker 1: bleeds into how they raise their kids, it bleeds into

695
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 1: the competitive spirit in their partnerships. And I'm like, like,

696
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 1: just put it down or fucking learn to unpack it

697
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,279
Speaker 1: in a healthy way. And I think that takes a

698
00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: lot of work that people don't get.

699
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,839
Speaker 3: And what's hard is, as you know, those girls who

700
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,880
Speaker 3: didn't make it, if you just watch them play soccer,

701
00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,359
Speaker 3: you guys all look kind of similar. But it's that

702
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:02,200
Speaker 3: like little bit of common confidence and tiny bit that

703
00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:06,799
Speaker 3: brought you to that next level that like intangible. And

704
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:10,040
Speaker 3: I had a lot of friends that you know, that

705
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:12,720
Speaker 3: made it. I couldn't watch tennis for like six years

706
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:15,799
Speaker 3: because I'm like, these girls are living my dream and

707
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 3: I'm I'm a loser and know why did I put

708
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 3: twenty years into this? Even though yes, I got a

709
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 3: full scholarship, I had a great time the univers of

710
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 3: Continent go Badgers. Deep down, I was like, was all

711
00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 3: that for nothing? And then I realized I approach comedy

712
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 3: like a Division one athlete. I am so diligent in

713
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:44,839
Speaker 3: my how I tackle it, and I think that gives

714
00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 3: me a real advantage versus someone who didn't have the

715
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 3: discipline and work ethic that I had to have to

716
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 3: get here.

717
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's it too, right. The tools they like

718
00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:00,359
Speaker 1: this is statistics, right, and these are studies that are

719
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:06,320
Speaker 1: real time players and not players. Young girls who play

720
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: sports end up being so successful in what they choose

721
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 1: to do because clearly one percenters are one percenters. Not

722
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: everyone is going to be the best in the world, right,

723
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:20,319
Speaker 1: Not everyone is going to go to the World Cup,

724
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: not everyone's going to go to Wimbledon, But statistically, now

725
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:28,080
Speaker 1: there are so many women in C suite positions and

726
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 1: high level positions because of the things they learned while

727
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: they were players. It keeps women getting pregnant much later,

728
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: It keeps women not doing drugs, not on the streets.

729
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 1: It keeps you so focused and prepared, and it translates

730
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: through everything in life. And they're showing, I mean upwards

731
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:56,000
Speaker 1: of like ninety something percent of women who play Division

732
00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 1: one sports have become really really successful leaders, women and

733
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 1: leaders and all of these things that we know, we

734
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,959
Speaker 1: value and we inherit when we go through the shit

735
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,400
Speaker 1: you and I went through, because it was fucking hard.

736
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:19,279
Speaker 1: But God hasn't prepared me for this life, for parenting,

737
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: for adversity, adversity.

738
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:24,239
Speaker 3: He was about to say, yes, I always say all

739
00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:27,440
Speaker 3: of it. With tennis, and especially you as a goalie,

740
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:30,120
Speaker 3: Like I can win a match six four, six four,

741
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,319
Speaker 3: and I lost forty five percent of the points, so

742
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:37,640
Speaker 3: that means I have to handle losing the entire match

743
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 3: to win it. But also even further, kind of what

744
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 3: we spoke about in the beginning, I'm kind of obsessed

745
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,560
Speaker 3: with disrupting male fields.

746
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:48,960
Speaker 1: Oh love it.

747
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:52,120
Speaker 3: Anything I was I was born to be a stone

748
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 3: in a masho.

749
00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 1: A little pebble if you will, yeah, or a big

750
00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 1: fucking pointy rock.

751
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 3: And a jagged rock. As you know, when you're an athlete,

752
00:42:04,800 --> 00:42:07,080
Speaker 3: we train with a ton of men all the time.

753
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, all the time.

754
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:10,320
Speaker 3: So that experience of walking on a court seeing a

755
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:12,759
Speaker 3: bunch of dudes and just knowing how to roll with

756
00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 3: it and knowing how to handle them and be around them.

757
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 3: When I started stand up comedy and you walk in

758
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,720
Speaker 3: a club and it's all dudes, a lot of women

759
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,839
Speaker 3: who are so fucking funny have a couple, you know,

760
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 3: bad experiences, and they just are like, I just don't

761
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:33,359
Speaker 3: belong here. Maybe this isn't my thing. That's why there's

762
00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 3: not more women at stand up not because they're not funny,

763
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 3: but because it's not a safe space for them. So

764
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 3: that's why the Internet has been so incredible to allow

765
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:46,280
Speaker 3: women to do their art without being in like bars

766
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 3: at two am with a bunch of creepy dudes. And

767
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 3: I definitely utilize the Internet to get there. But I

768
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 3: also think my sports experience helped me see this male

769
00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:00,920
Speaker 3: dominated field and be like I know to do and

770
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,919
Speaker 3: I got scared of you guys. And you know, pass

771
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 3: me the mic because you've passed me the tennis ball

772
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 3: in the past. And I mean, what we've learned is,

773
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:15,280
Speaker 3: I if I have a daughter, she's going into sports.

774
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 3: I don't care what trauma I went through. I'm gonna

775
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,240
Speaker 3: try to do some different things in terms of coaching

776
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:27,839
Speaker 3: with her. But the self esteem, I yeah, from even

777
00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 3: like completely folding like a cheap beach chair under pressure.

778
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 3: Sometimes I'm like, I survived that. That shit, I survived it.

779
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 3: So when I'm, you know, going on stage, I always say,

780
00:43:39,680 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 3: because you ask, how did you not you know, crack

781
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 3: under the pressure of stand up, I go, No, one's

782
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 3: keeping score. There's no loss. When i'm that's an art

783
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 3: to me. I'm expressing myself when I get off, only

784
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 3: I know what I messed up on. Like I'm the

785
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 3: one who when I walk off, I could either be like,

786
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 3: so proud of you for trying that new even though

787
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:03,960
Speaker 3: it didn't work. We learned, like I'm in such a

788
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 3: learning mentality where tennis was just if you lose your

789
00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 3: piece of shit.

790
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And especially nowadays with those social media it's

791
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:15,239
Speaker 1: like they will replay every bad hit, every bad like,

792
00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:18,840
Speaker 1: I mean, you can't any mistake. My shit is still

793
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 1: all out there. They're like, ah, you suck as a person,

794
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:24,000
Speaker 1: look at this mistake. Okay.

795
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 3: And back then when there were pros, we didn't have

796
00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 3: that kind of social media. And one thing I do

797
00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 3: put out there because I know a lot of athletes, Listen,

798
00:44:33,560 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 3: you have to stay off the internet. I don't care

799
00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 3: how mentally strong you are. It's you can't see that

800
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,440
Speaker 3: bullshit because it affects I say, in art, it affects

801
00:44:43,440 --> 00:44:47,560
Speaker 3: the creativity, and in sports it affects you mentally and you.

802
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 1: It penetrates, It penetrates, it penetrates. It doesn't matter how

803
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:57,640
Speaker 1: strong you are. You're absorbing negative things and it's now

804
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:01,399
Speaker 1: in your body. It's so true, there's no you have

805
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 1: to be the clarity of the mindset to be great.

806
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 1: I always say this, what made me so good as

807
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 1: a goalkeeper. I had short term memory. Maybe I was

808
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: hitting the head too many times. I don't know what happened,

809
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,280
Speaker 1: but its a lot of a lot of head banging

810
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 1: when I was, you know, in that mosh pit as

811
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:20,280
Speaker 1: a young kid.

812
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 3: But that's so the truth. It's true. It's you're obviously

813
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 3: physically gifted, but it's your mentality that took you to

814
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 3: the champion level. And I do have to say I

815
00:45:31,680 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 3: was so hard on myself and so negative on the

816
00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,480
Speaker 3: tennis court, and I did not have a short term memory.

817
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,239
Speaker 3: Like one thing would happen and I'd be like, two

818
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 3: sets later, I'd still be like, if you don't fucking

819
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 3: miss the drup shut And someone told me, like, what

820
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 3: makes Vetterer and Jordan's so good as they'll forget and

821
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:50,799
Speaker 3: like they had like a stat I don't know how

822
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,120
Speaker 3: the researched it, but like zero point five seconds.

823
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: And yeah, you have to and I don't know.

824
00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:59,040
Speaker 3: That's why like even sixteen year old girls are incredible

825
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:00,759
Speaker 3: athletes because they can do that.

826
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,480
Speaker 1: And well, you know in tennis, one mistake can't turn

827
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,239
Speaker 1: into five, it can't turn into ten, it can't turn

828
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 1: into three. So if you don't dump it and keep

829
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:15,080
Speaker 1: playing like you're you're gonna be fucked for the whole

830
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: match or the whole game.

831
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 3: They say, And this is probably the same as soccer.

832
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 3: Your relationship with the ball, it's the same as your

833
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 3: relationship with life, and how if you're scared of the ball,

834
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 3: if you're questioning if you should be with the ball,

835
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 3: like it all. It's all kind of the same. It's

836
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:30,920
Speaker 3: all the same.

837
00:46:33,719 --> 00:46:36,800
Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.

838
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. We'll be right back. Well, tell me

839
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 1: about this, you know, this stand up tour you're on

840
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: right now. For those who don't know, Hannah is now

841
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: more dates. You just added two to twenty twenty six.

842
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 1: So what inspired none of my business? Tell me about

843
00:46:58,160 --> 00:46:58,760
Speaker 1: the title.

844
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 2: I was there.

845
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 1: It's funny as fucking hell. I cackled the whole time.

846
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,040
Speaker 1: I actually now you know, I'm forty. So when I

847
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: laughed too hard, I feel So there's this new thing.

848
00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: Like I just was on the cruise and I was

849
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 1: doing a Jersey shore like instance, and I jumped and

850
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: I was.

851
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:20,600
Speaker 2: Like, I didn't even give birth. What the fuck was that?

852
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 2: Like it just leaked a little.

853
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,040
Speaker 1: I said, I have to go back to my room

854
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: and my panties.

855
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:34,319
Speaker 2: So this has been I don't eat myself twice this month.

856
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,720
Speaker 3: No one's counting but you. No one's counting, but you.

857
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 1: No one saw I was in all black. It was

858
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 1: in New York.

859
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:44,879
Speaker 3: Now, making the girl's pee is the goal of the tour,

860
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:45,839
Speaker 3: so thank you.

861
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 1: They don't turn forty. It does weird shit to you.

862
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,319
Speaker 3: It's so funny because you look like you're twenty four.

863
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:53,880
Speaker 2: Oh thank you. It's the lighting.

864
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,840
Speaker 3: The lighting is good bye, the lighting, good bye.

865
00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 1: My eyesight's going though. It's a real tragic moment for

866
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: thank god now and not when I was playing here's

867
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:03,640
Speaker 1: the pool?

868
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 3: Oh god? What wait? Actually one more thing too, is

869
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:12,520
Speaker 3: I think great, I'm glad to hear that none of

870
00:48:12,520 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 3: my business is going well. Yeah, that was going well,

871
00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 3: and that I'm doing it for me. I think tennis,

872
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 3: you get lost to you actually don't know who you're

873
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 3: doing it for. And when I started doing comedy just

874
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 3: for me, like no one was paying for lessons, no

875
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:32,600
Speaker 3: one had, no one was telling me you better do

876
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:36,000
Speaker 3: this or I'm gonna be mad. I had this new freedom.

877
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 3: And what I love about my tour is it starts

878
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,280
Speaker 3: just as a blank slate and I get no notes

879
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 3: from people. I just do whatever the fuck I want

880
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 3: to page and it's so empowering and none of my

881
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,600
Speaker 3: business I talk about kind of like how I got

882
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,680
Speaker 3: to be on that stage. I think my first hour

883
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 3: was very like what are the first jokes I can

884
00:48:59,040 --> 00:49:01,799
Speaker 3: think of that make people? And the second hour I'm

885
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 3: a little more like what do I want to say?

886
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 3: And I think I do talk a little bit about like, yes,

887
00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:11,040
Speaker 3: certain careers being male dominated and certain careers I thought

888
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:15,399
Speaker 3: I should do. And also just wearing that tie. Oh,

889
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 3: it's so empowered to me. I never wore a tie before.

890
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:20,560
Speaker 3: The first time I put on The first time I

891
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 3: put on a tie happened like a year or two ago,

892
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 3: and I was like, where has this been in my life?

893
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:27,840
Speaker 3: It makes you feel like you have a dick.

894
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:29,879
Speaker 1: Yes, like it really does.

895
00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 2: It's swinging energy, it's intick energy.

896
00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:36,279
Speaker 3: You're like, I start man splaining to people and I

897
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,000
Speaker 3: want anyone listening. If you haven't worn a tie, do it.

898
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 2: Do yourself a favor.

899
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,960
Speaker 3: Do yourself a favor, because it brings I become a monster.

900
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 3: And when I'm on that, when I see the girls

901
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 3: in the audience wearing ties, it just it gets me

902
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 3: jacked up. And it's so the tour has been just

903
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 3: kind of like empowering and just like speaking on like

904
00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:01,360
Speaker 3: this career I found that I'm enjoying.

905
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 1: I love that and it's so good. And I have

906
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: to say, to talk about someone going down on you

907
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 1: in front of your parents and grandma it's really a choice.

908
00:50:17,680 --> 00:50:21,160
Speaker 1: It's really a creative choice, because let me tell you,

909
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:22,800
Speaker 1: I wasn't sure.

910
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:24,799
Speaker 2: To laugh and I didn't want to hear me.

911
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:27,120
Speaker 1: And they were right next to me, and your grandma

912
00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 1: was just sitting there, and I was like, oh, fuck's sake,

913
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: got like, how do they feel? Have they done it?

914
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 2: Are they used to this? Your mom was fucking cackling.

915
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:38,760
Speaker 2: Your dad looked.

916
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,839
Speaker 1: Your dad looked like he was like, I don't really

917
00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 1: know what I should do. It's my daughter, I probably shouldn't.

918
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,520
Speaker 1: So he just fucking didn't move, like he looked like

919
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,920
Speaker 1: Nicole Kidman, I don't know what the fuck.

920
00:50:48,800 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 3: Was going My dad he was still he's still in

921
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:55,040
Speaker 3: coach mode. My dad likes watching everyone around him. He

922
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:58,799
Speaker 3: likes being like that person's laughing, that person's laughing. But

923
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 3: by the way, my dad has the best sense of

924
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 3: humor in the world. Oh my god. I he walks

925
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 3: into a room to this day, I'm like, Dad, please

926
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 3: put ten minutes together and open for me on tour.

927
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:13,440
Speaker 3: Like he's the funniest motherfucker. Like I'll say some of

928
00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:16,240
Speaker 3: his jokes on stage, like his just like neighborhood jokes,

929
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 3: and it kills he's so funny. I get it. I

930
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:22,000
Speaker 3: get it from him. Yeah, it's funny too because he'll

931
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,839
Speaker 3: have his friends come up to him and be like, hey,

932
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,440
Speaker 3: I saw how to do a joke. By the way,

933
00:51:25,480 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 3: I'm also not like crazy dirty, but I think as

934
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:32,239
Speaker 3: a as a moment, I am wholesome. I was talking

935
00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:36,359
Speaker 3: about Dick's probably made you gag like you probably were like, oh, but.

936
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:40,120
Speaker 1: No, that was actually okay. It's not going in my mouth, honey.

937
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 1: I'm totally fine to sit there and listen and take

938
00:51:42,719 --> 00:51:44,719
Speaker 1: me on a ride. Ali was great. She gave me

939
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 1: all the lesbian joy I needed before the show.

940
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:48,920
Speaker 2: Really fucking got.

941
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,840
Speaker 1: My juices going. So I was in. I was committed as.

942
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:55,399
Speaker 3: Long as the Dick is from Afar if it's far.

943
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 3: But people go up to my dad like guys and

944
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 3: be like is it weird? A is it grost? And

945
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 3: He's just like, that's my daughter and she's making money,

946
00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 3: Like let's go like, let's what's your son doing? Where's

947
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 3: your son? Is like card and Dick jokes. So I

948
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 3: always say I get it from my parents. My mom too,

949
00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,239
Speaker 3: like has the best sense of humor. And I do

950
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,800
Speaker 3: think knowing that I was a tennis player and everything

951
00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 3: I went through. My parents just want me to be happy.

952
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 3: So when I they never they just want to see

953
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:30,360
Speaker 3: me smiling, like I've been through so much in terms

954
00:52:30,400 --> 00:52:34,000
Speaker 3: of like trying to find myself. So and I also

955
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,719
Speaker 3: think it's empowering for a woman to speak on like,

956
00:52:38,120 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 3: you know, some things with sex that are difficult, and

957
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,560
Speaker 3: I think women in the crowd, if I can make

958
00:52:42,600 --> 00:52:44,799
Speaker 3: one girl feel less alone or make one girl think,

959
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 3: oh maybe actually I like women.

960
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 1: Fuck it listen, that would be the show to do it.

961
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,920
Speaker 3: That's I feel like the women leave my show like

962
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:58,279
Speaker 3: wanting to stone a man, and oh yeah, I because

963
00:52:58,280 --> 00:52:59,879
Speaker 3: at first I was like, men should come to my show.

964
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:03,440
Speaker 3: It's all like the hottest, smartest, coolest girls. But then

965
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,879
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, they leave just being like a man.

966
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 1: Right now, they're actually leaving with each other, so you

967
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:11,920
Speaker 1: have no shot exactly.

968
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 3: So I just hope that the show makes women feel

969
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 3: less alone, but also not in a like oh poor me,

970
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,800
Speaker 3: and more like you can be hot, you can be funny,

971
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,160
Speaker 3: you'd be confident, but you would also be depressed. You

972
00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 3: can also be insecure, and that's just part of being

973
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 3: a human.

974
00:53:29,800 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 1: Well that's what you do you you remind people that

975
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:35,800
Speaker 1: they're not crazy, they're just human and we're literally we're

976
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: all trying to fucking figure it out. And no matter

977
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 1: how we present, whether you're an athlete an actor, like

978
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:47,240
Speaker 1: we're all shattered humans in some form trying to figure

979
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 1: it out. Like there, it really is this journey of life,

980
00:53:51,160 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 1: and we get it wrong, we don't always get it right,

981
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 1: and we're just trying to make our way and people

982
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 1: like us are just trying to find like our community.

983
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:01,440
Speaker 1: And I think I think you're giving that to people,

984
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:04,720
Speaker 1: which is so sweet and there are so many people laughing,

985
00:54:04,920 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: and how cool is that that, like through your art

986
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:12,760
Speaker 1: and your performance, like you're actually giving something to people

987
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 1: that they can take away. And I think that is

988
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:18,279
Speaker 1: the beauty of comedy when the fucking world is on

989
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,840
Speaker 1: fire and everything's a shit dump. No, but it's so

990
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 1: important right now to take back this type of this

991
00:54:26,400 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 1: womanhood of being like this is exactly fucking who I am.

992
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 1: Let's laugh about it, but like, at the end of

993
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:35,440
Speaker 1: the day, I'm gonna leave you with something, whether it's community,

994
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:39,200
Speaker 1: the honesty that people can't say out loud for themselves,

995
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,920
Speaker 1: but it is, it's I think that is such a

996
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 1: powerful component of performance and a time that is such

997
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:47,320
Speaker 1: a shit dump.

998
00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:50,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I do think the only consistent thing I've

999
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,640
Speaker 3: ever been able to control in my life is laughter.

1000
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,040
Speaker 3: I couldn't control the winds, I control the losses, but

1001
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 3: I always could decide to have a perspective. And I

1002
00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:02,719
Speaker 3: think that's also with comedy, to take life less seriously.

1003
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,960
Speaker 3: We're all gonna have fucked up things happen to us,

1004
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 3: and but we can decide how to respond to it.

1005
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 3: And I think if we we can decide to make

1006
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 3: things a little lighter with a little laughter, and that

1007
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:16,800
Speaker 3: kind of helped me survive some of the the trauma

1008
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:17,840
Speaker 3: I've been through, for sure.

1009
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:21,359
Speaker 1: And you and Page do such a great job of

1010
00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 1: that when you're not on tour. So for those of

1011
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:26,880
Speaker 1: you who are not who do not know, Hannah and

1012
00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 1: Page have a fucking hilarious let's be in pore we go, Here,

1013
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 1: we go.

1014
00:55:33,719 --> 00:55:37,360
Speaker 3: We are partners. We are partners. Yes, yes, we're in

1015
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 3: a marriage, which is most of America anyway, so we're

1016
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 3: not exactly.

1017
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:46,120
Speaker 1: And it's it's giggly squad right yep. Yeah, it is

1018
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 1: so fucking good. And like I laugh with you guys,

1019
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 1: and the way she calls out the fucking things you

1020
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:57,000
Speaker 1: wear makes me want to choke. Most days, she's literally

1021
00:55:57,040 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 1: looking at you like your outfit is making meat or

1022
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:04,480
Speaker 1: what what did you think about that choice? Walking on

1023
00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:07,920
Speaker 1: the red car? I fuck the way she calls you

1024
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,520
Speaker 1: out makes.

1025
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:12,239
Speaker 3: We make fun of each other so much, and it

1026
00:56:12,280 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 3: makes me giddy but also so funny. I'm so masked

1027
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:18,800
Speaker 3: with Paige, Like she's so fam and I'm so masked,

1028
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,680
Speaker 3: And then I hang out with my lesbian friends and

1029
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,960
Speaker 3: I'm this like girly fan, Like this is so funny.

1030
00:56:24,080 --> 00:56:26,240
Speaker 2: It's confusing, it's confusing, it's.

1031
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,799
Speaker 3: Very but I think a lot of lesbians love it

1032
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 3: because it is just like girlhood. And also like, look,

1033
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 3: it takes one girl to swing you.

1034
00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:38,279
Speaker 1: You know, nowadays it's twenty anything.

1035
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:42,560
Speaker 3: Six. But also I think I I definitely gravitate towards

1036
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 3: you because you had this incredible career. You're in this

1037
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 3: next phase of your life, which I understand more than anything,

1038
00:56:50,680 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 3: and I always say to people, whatever made you great

1039
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:56,399
Speaker 3: and what you did, you're gonna put into the other

1040
00:56:56,440 --> 00:56:59,480
Speaker 3: things in life, whether it's parenting, whether it's you know,

1041
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 3: this next journey, your relationships any entrepreneurial things you're gonna

1042
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:08,320
Speaker 3: tackle the same way you tackled soccer. So I'm also

1043
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 3: just so excited to watch you and all the things

1044
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:13,640
Speaker 3: you didn't even know you could do because you had

1045
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:14,840
Speaker 3: put it all into soccer.

1046
00:57:15,000 --> 00:57:19,280
Speaker 1: You know, blinders, it's called blinders. She was blinded by

1047
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,400
Speaker 1: anything that it wasn't soccer. And it's so nice to

1048
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 1: be living. I thank you for saying that. I really

1049
00:57:27,000 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: am living for the first time. You know, I like

1050
00:57:30,040 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 1: it and people ask me all the time do you

1051
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 1: miss it? And I'm like, no, I don't because I

1052
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 1: miss so much. And a lot of it was myself, Like,

1053
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 1: there was a lot that was costly for chasing that

1054
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,440
Speaker 1: type of dream. It took a lot for it gave

1055
00:57:45,520 --> 00:57:48,480
Speaker 1: me so much. It gave me this beautiful life, and

1056
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 1: I am so grateful, but it also stole a lot

1057
00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 1: from me that I don't think people know because they

1058
00:57:55,560 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 1: only see the greatest parts of success.

1059
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:03,040
Speaker 3: Well, so this is dark. But after soccer, when you

1060
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,560
Speaker 3: would do things for yourself or like find things that

1061
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 3: were fun, did you ever feel guilt?

1062
00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 1: Yeah? I felt like if I wasn't doing something every

1063
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 1: second of every day, or suffering at some cost, or

1064
00:58:15,880 --> 00:58:18,200
Speaker 1: doing more than you know. I was the kid that

1065
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,040
Speaker 1: was like, I don't have all of the talent. I

1066
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: don't have the money, I don't have the facilities, don't

1067
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:27,800
Speaker 1: I fucking zero period. I was in with the football

1068
00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 1: guys god knows, getting all types of weird rashes.

1069
00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:30,960
Speaker 2: And ring worms.

1070
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:34,480
Speaker 1: It did not matter because it was free, right, and

1071
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 1: it was like I knew the streets, so I you know,

1072
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 1: we had this thing called DCT in high school where

1073
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,680
Speaker 1: kids were learning you you would go to school half

1074
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:47,760
Speaker 1: the day and then half the day you were at work.

1075
00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:50,440
Speaker 1: I didn't fucking tell I'm gonna get in trouble for this.

1076
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:53,640
Speaker 1: I've never said it. I'm saying it now. I signed

1077
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 1: up for that class.

1078
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 3: I went.

1079
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 1: My dad had a business. He was in appliances, appliance repair,

1080
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 1: and I hand would hand write in time cards and

1081
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:07,320
Speaker 1: write my dad's name that I worked for my dad.

1082
00:59:07,560 --> 00:59:10,160
Speaker 1: I was out on that fucking soccer field every day

1083
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:13,320
Speaker 1: by noon, working with with my high school coach, and

1084
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: no one knew because I was going to do the

1085
00:59:15,240 --> 00:59:18,000
Speaker 1: fucking shit when no one was watching. Because I had

1086
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: no other choice. I was getting out of there, and

1087
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: the only way I could get out of there was

1088
00:59:22,880 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 1: to get a college education, someone to pay for it.

1089
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,000
Speaker 1: Like there was a lot on my shoulders, shoulders as

1090
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 1: a young fucking kid, and so there was not Yeah,

1091
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 1: there was not Plan B. No, there was no Plan B.

1092
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 1: People people Hannah. My whole career was like, oh that

1093
00:59:40,200 --> 00:59:43,280
Speaker 1: bitch is she's like really takes this shit seriously or

1094
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,960
Speaker 1: like oh, like there's like something of pain about her.

1095
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 1: And I'm like, you don't know where where I come from.

1096
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 1: You don't know what I had to do to get here.

1097
00:59:52,000 --> 00:59:55,439
Speaker 1: I don't have a Plan B. I don't have mommy. Yeah,

1098
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 1: I don't have mommy paying for my fucking apartment. I

1099
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 1: don't have No. My first contract, yeah, my first contract

1100
01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 1: in what was the WPS, I made six hundred dollars

1101
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:11,760
Speaker 1: a month. Six hundred dollars a month. You can't And

1102
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 1: I fucking figured it out. No. And the first thing

1103
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,360
Speaker 1: I did with my first paycheck was go buy a

1104
01:00:17,400 --> 01:00:20,240
Speaker 1: Michelle watch from Nordstrums because I saw all the rich

1105
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: little girls in college wearing that little Michelle watch, just

1106
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:26,160
Speaker 1: like thinking they were above everyone. And I was like,

1107
01:00:26,720 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 1: my first paycheck, I'm gonna buy that fucking watch. And

1108
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:32,640
Speaker 1: I still have it in my safe, and I'll never

1109
01:00:32,640 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 1: get rid of it because it really like it's a

1110
01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:38,520
Speaker 1: humble beginning and you can't forget where you come from,

1111
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:42,600
Speaker 1: you know. It's like it's a it's something I never

1112
01:00:42,640 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 1: want to lose about me, and my best friends from

1113
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 1: childhood will always say it. There's not one fucking part

1114
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:51,200
Speaker 1: of me that has I am still that little girl

1115
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:53,400
Speaker 1: from Satellite Beach who is hungry to leave.

1116
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:57,640
Speaker 3: Yes, And that's why whatever you approach now, that little

1117
01:00:57,640 --> 01:00:59,760
Speaker 3: girl is going to be there being like we've done

1118
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 3: this so many times and I trust you, but there

1119
01:01:03,520 --> 01:01:05,840
Speaker 3: is a there is a form of like hugging that

1120
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 3: little girl to be like you're okay. Now, you're okay.

1121
01:01:08,640 --> 01:01:11,320
Speaker 1: Now you don't you don't have to be in survivor mode,

1122
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: survival mode anymore, honey.

1123
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, and at some point being like it's okay to

1124
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 3: be content with you. Yeah, you don't have a big,

1125
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:24,920
Speaker 3: a big tournament tomorrow. You can breathe for a second.

1126
01:01:25,560 --> 01:01:29,000
Speaker 1: I will say that's been the hardest adjustment for me

1127
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:34,280
Speaker 1: is really finding peace in the most like simple moment

1128
01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:39,120
Speaker 1: and not chasing success at all costs all the time.

1129
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:43,320
Speaker 3: I think it's a little backwards, but I find that

1130
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:46,840
Speaker 3: sometimes when you hit success, then you realize, oh wait,

1131
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 3: I have to I have to find happiness in literally

1132
01:01:50,440 --> 01:01:53,720
Speaker 3: like the sunset, the smell of the grass, and I'm like,

1133
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:58,200
Speaker 3: I'm doing this reverse. You're supposed to do this first exactly,

1134
01:01:58,640 --> 01:02:01,120
Speaker 3: that's what you do, that's what doing now. But yeah,

1135
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 3: isn't it so nice when you could be happy without

1136
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:03,919
Speaker 3: a win?

1137
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 1: Well, you spoke about it earlier. It's the freedom, the

1138
01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 1: freedom to be, the freedom to choose, the freedom to

1139
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 1: just exist in small moments and big like it's just

1140
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:20,680
Speaker 1: it's just freedom. And the freedom has now become a choice.

1141
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 1: Like what I am doing now is it's a choice.

1142
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:29,160
Speaker 1: I'm not being told to do it. And that's what

1143
01:02:29,200 --> 01:02:32,439
Speaker 1: you spoke about, is like you know, every fucking day

1144
01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:34,400
Speaker 1: it was like being told to do this and you

1145
01:02:34,480 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 1: had to do this and you had to check this box.

1146
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:39,240
Speaker 1: And it's now like, oh, I can actually just take

1147
01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:41,040
Speaker 1: a deep breath, like I'm okay.

1148
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 3: Did you ever? I remember after tennis one day, I

1149
01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:49,840
Speaker 3: didn't know what to eat, like I never made decisions

1150
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:51,440
Speaker 3: for myself. So when my friend was like, what do

1151
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:54,080
Speaker 3: you want to do? I was like I don't. I

1152
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:55,000
Speaker 3: really don't know.

1153
01:02:55,720 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 1: Can you teach me.

1154
01:02:56,920 --> 01:02:59,000
Speaker 3: Yeah. She was like, what do you like? I was like,

1155
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:00,440
Speaker 3: what do I like? I don't know.

1156
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 1: I like to win, Yeah, I like it with train

1157
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 1: until everything hurts and falls off, like yeah and p yeah,

1158
01:03:10,040 --> 01:03:11,400
Speaker 1: but I really something.

1159
01:03:11,800 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 3: I also think that with comedy like Full Circle, the

1160
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:17,800
Speaker 3: reason I've been able to be successful is because my

1161
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:21,760
Speaker 3: ego is not attached to it the way like with tennis,

1162
01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 3: if I lost my ego was crush. We're with comedy,

1163
01:03:26,080 --> 01:03:28,280
Speaker 3: whatever I do on stage is an expression of me

1164
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:32,200
Speaker 3: and it's not my self worth. So with that I

1165
01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:35,680
Speaker 3: kind of have this like power that I didn't have

1166
01:03:35,760 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 3: with tennis, where I'm like, it's I'm not holding onto

1167
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 3: it for dear life. I'm like, this is just an

1168
01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 3: expression of me artistically and I don't need it.

1169
01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,600
Speaker 1: I love this well, Hannah, thank you so much for

1170
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 1: coming on Wide Open. You are a fucking treat in

1171
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:53,680
Speaker 1: every sense of the word, Ashlyn.

1172
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:56,360
Speaker 3: I love you so much and I'm such a huge

1173
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,760
Speaker 3: fan of yours, so I just feel so grateful to

1174
01:03:58,840 --> 01:04:00,000
Speaker 3: be able to connect with you.

1175
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:02,880
Speaker 1: I know, and there's many more where this is coming from,

1176
01:04:02,920 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 1: So you know, as soon as you stop touring all

1177
01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:08,560
Speaker 1: over the goddamn place. Can we do a tie dinner

1178
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 1: because I would love for all of us lesbians and

1179
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:15,040
Speaker 1: you to come to dinner. Sheik New York dinner and

1180
01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:18,760
Speaker 1: our and our ties and you know, have a little

1181
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 1: fun hang. I would love that, so or you can

1182
01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 1: I just you know, Sophia, before I walked in here,

1183
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:25,720
Speaker 1: she was like, do you want to do something really

1184
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 1: gay for New Year? And I was like, okay, Like what,

1185
01:04:28,600 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 1: let's go see Robin. So if you're here and you

1186
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:38,520
Speaker 1: want to join the gay girls, you know always plus

1187
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:45,560
Speaker 1: two honey? Yeah, can you imagine him like this.

1188
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:50,320
Speaker 3: Rene grinding on him.

1189
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:54,040
Speaker 2: All of the things.

1190
01:04:54,160 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 1: Can you imagine?

1191
01:04:55,040 --> 01:04:55,560
Speaker 3: Yes? I can.

1192
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:59,200
Speaker 1: Okay, see you for New Year perfect at I don't

1193
01:04:59,200 --> 01:05:02,720
Speaker 1: even know where it is, but I know it's in Brooklyn, so.

1194
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:03,200
Speaker 3: I'll see you on a rooftop.

1195
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:08,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, in the corner in the snow.

1196
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 1: It's so good to see you, dabe. Good luck on

1197
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:16,000
Speaker 1: the rest of your comedy tour. And can you tell

1198
01:05:16,040 --> 01:05:18,840
Speaker 1: everyone where to get tickets?

1199
01:05:17,560 --> 01:05:22,040
Speaker 3: Yea Pannah Burner dot com. All the tickets are on there.

1200
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:23,960
Speaker 3: Follow me and I'll see you out there.

1201
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 1: Happy twenty twenty sixth Anny Wide Open with Ashland Harris

1202
01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:39,120
Speaker 1: is an iHeart women's sports production. You can find us

1203
01:05:39,120 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 1: on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

1204
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:48,720
Speaker 1: your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronov,

1205
01:05:49,040 --> 01:05:54,840
Speaker 1: and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our executive

1206
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:59,520
Speaker 1: producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our

1207
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:03,240
Speaker 1: editor are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm Your

1208
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:10,480
Speaker 1: Host Ashlyn Harris