Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and
Speaker 1: I'm Mila. Happy hump Day, Happy hump Day. How are
Speaker 1: you great? I don't believe you because I'm lying.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, oh my god. This is the first
Speaker 2: week ever. And people were like, how are you? And
Speaker 2: I'm like terrible. Actually, I'm actually doing fucking terrible.
Speaker 1: I was in a bar the other night and this
Speaker 1: girl walked in and she sat next to me, and
Speaker 1: she had like a cookie gift bag and she's like,
Speaker 1: do you want that? I'm a bar. She was like,
Speaker 1: you know, Christmas time, so she's like, do you have kids?
Speaker 1: I was like, actually I do. She's like, do you
Speaker 1: want this cookie?
Speaker 2: I'm like thanks, this is so nice of you because
Speaker 2: I'm having a really shitty day.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I cried at the bar for like two hours.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, but you know, I.
Speaker 2: Never cried at the bar. I never tell people I'm
Speaker 2: having a shitty day.
Speaker 1: So you know, it's fine. And maybe that's what you
Speaker 1: need to start doing in twenty twenty, admitting when I'm
Speaker 1: having a shitty stop internalizing your shittiness well, because then
Speaker 1: it displays in other ways. I mean, I'm not saying
Speaker 1: I witnessed it, but I'm just saying it's inevitable. Wolf Moon,
Speaker 1: apoet Apothecary, Apothecary, Brandon. Brandon told me that, yeah, I
Speaker 1: hold a lot in and I hold a lot of
Speaker 1: them with certain people. You stop whispering, please, Okay. So
Speaker 1: I'm just listening to Brandon and I'm speaking my mind.
Speaker 1: And when I'm having a shitty day, I'm telling folks
Speaker 1: I'm not doing great, even if they're strangers at the bar. Good.
Speaker 1: Do you have a hard time telling people when you're
Speaker 1: having a shitty do? No? What you do you think
Speaker 1: I do? No? I mean, I know I'm pretty I
Speaker 1: think I'm pretty vocal about my feelings constantly, which is
Speaker 1: why I'm annoying. I wouldn't say I wasn't vocal about
Speaker 1: my feelings. Well, I wouldn't. I didn't think I didn't really.
Speaker 2: I guess I didn't analyze it, really, I guess not
Speaker 2: all my feelings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys, we're drinking tea.
Speaker 1: And yeah, my spoon keeps hitting the thing and it's
Speaker 1: gonna be annoying. And I'm also like, ah sturbing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're literally double fisting tea and wine because also I
Speaker 1: need to drink. Also, I feel like I shouldn't smoke
Speaker 1: because last night I felt like I was wheezing and
Speaker 1: like so much so that I was like, do I
Speaker 1: need to go put on IRI's nebulizer? Do you have
Speaker 1: the puppy dog nebulized? Is that thing helping for her?
Speaker 1: I think so? Well, I haven't been using it lately?
Speaker 1: Do you need want to borrow it? Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: need to put some shit in it though, I just
Speaker 1: I have this stuff.
Speaker 2: I feel scared because Luna has also been like coughing
Speaker 2: for in the mornings for.
Speaker 1: Like a while. Yeah. Yeah, no, so it was iration
Speaker 1: coughing for a while. It's getting better though, so the nebulizer.
Speaker 1: And then she got she had antibiotics, which the doctor
Speaker 1: like didn't want to give me for like months and
Speaker 1: finally they're like, fine, why wouldn't they give it to you?
Speaker 1: Because they were like, it's just a common cold. She's
Speaker 1: for a month at school, but it up. I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, last my one, I was like, she needs
Speaker 1: fucking antibiotics. I'm gonna give her these antiotics I got
Speaker 1: in Mexico. Okay, Well, like I found some money in
Speaker 1: my pockets, looks see look at the seventeen dollars. I
Speaker 1: needed every fucking penny. Sweet, you are blessed. I am blessed.
Speaker 1: You are. You know every time I'm feeling away, God's like,
Speaker 1: here you go, bitch, shut the fuck up. So grateful.
Speaker 1: I do believe in God. I do believe in the
Speaker 1: power of prayer. And in twenty twenty, I'm going, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. I've like actually been researching places to go
Speaker 1: to explore my spirituality weekly. Some of them could be
Speaker 1: called churches. I hate saying that institutions institutions, but they
Speaker 1: seemed they seem like a little more like progressive. And
Speaker 1: I was thinking about a gope and then like someone
Speaker 1: explained a gobe love to me and it threw me off.
Speaker 1: I know, could you explained it to me? And it
Speaker 1: threw me off? It like really like killed, like was
Speaker 1: like really a red flag for my like intersectional feminism.
Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? That?
Speaker 1: We just love these niggas no matter what we did.
Speaker 1: I say that or is that what that particular person is.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Okay, I didn't research it, but my
Speaker 1: friend who was explaining to me what a gode love
Speaker 1: was because she was dating this guy who has this
Speaker 1: been dating this girl for a long long time, and
Speaker 1: she just won't go away, Like he doesn't like she's
Speaker 1: dating her, but he's also dating my friend. My friend
Speaker 1: is like, I'm not gonna sit here and wait for
Speaker 1: you to make a decision, and he's like, well, I
Speaker 1: guess the girl is like, I'll wait because she believes
Speaker 1: in a godbe love and a godbe love. Wait. Quote
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong, because I don't know who's listening.
Speaker 1: That goes to a gobe or whatever. But what I
Speaker 1: was told is basically that like it's for the bigger purpose.
Speaker 1: Like if you're in love with someone a godbe love
Speaker 1: is like, it's for the bigger purpose. You ride or
Speaker 1: die with them no matter what, because you see the
Speaker 1: bigger picture and your heart is filled with a godbe love.
Speaker 1: I don't know, okay, what I'm looking at it? Well,
Speaker 1: there you go. What is the godbe love?
Speaker 2: Okay? Is A is a Greco Christian term referring to love,
Speaker 2: the highest form of love, charity, and the love.
Speaker 1: Of God for man and man for God. Wait, that's
Speaker 1: not charity. I don't like that word already.
Speaker 2: It's the same thing, okay, an unditional love, which means
Speaker 2: that you love someone without expecting anything in return.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean okay, there's like okay, yes, okay, I
Speaker 1: have a lot to say. Okay, yes, but like also no,
Speaker 1: you know, okay, we're okay, I'm okay.
Speaker 2: I'm happy that this. I'm happy I looked this up. Expectation.
Speaker 2: I know we talked about this all the time, all
Speaker 2: the time, but this is a question I have, and
Speaker 2: this is just a friendship in relationship expectation.
Speaker 1: Now, I know we're not supposed to have any expectation
Speaker 1: of anything, right, that's not healthy. However, also not realistic.
Speaker 1: Do not have any like I mean, not not realistic,
Speaker 1: but the world we live in, that's you have to
Speaker 1: untrain that. So I just I'm confused.
Speaker 2: I need a deeper I need a better understanding with
Speaker 2: better standards of expectation.
Speaker 1: Because it's true, like.
Speaker 2: We could love this tree without expecting anything of it.
Speaker 2: We know it's gonna however it grows, it's leaning to
Speaker 2: the light, it's going through what it's going through, it's present,
Speaker 2: and we love it as is.
Speaker 1: Okay, it doesn't have to do anything.
Speaker 2: For us now, Erica, if I'm your best friend, and
Speaker 2: I love you, I'm conditionally agape.
Speaker 3: How realistic is it? Like, of course I want to.
Speaker 2: Just love you as you are, but like aren't there
Speaker 2: friend terms? And at some point, like like front expectations,
Speaker 2: I've well I've got all friends with just being crazy.
Speaker 1: But like maybe it's like even like if they're crazy,
Speaker 1: you just love them from Afar, but you still love them.
Speaker 1: Maybe there doesn't mean you have them in your life,
Speaker 1: but you still love them. Well, yeah that's true. I
Speaker 1: love people even if it's from Afar. But I'm just wondering,
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm just wondering if that's what agape love
Speaker 1: is like from Afar. It can't be that, like you
Speaker 1: just endure fucking abuse forever because you're in a gope love.
Speaker 2: And not even abuse if in a relationship and whatever
Speaker 2: kind of relationship it is. What you're giving is not
Speaker 2: being returned. But I know you can't expect you from
Speaker 2: you can't expect you from other people. So at what point, like,
Speaker 2: at what point do you draw the line and expect
Speaker 2: something and maybe not just like you or look just
Speaker 2: like you would present your friendship or your relationshipness, But
Speaker 2: at what point is it like Okay, you're not doing
Speaker 2: for me what I would do for you, So I'm
Speaker 2: removing myself to love you from afar a copit.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I have to ask a god, the minister,
Speaker 1: I mean to I'll get back to you on that one.
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll find out in my church journey, my my
Speaker 1: church tour.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is a big lesson. I think this
Speaker 2: is a huge lesson that like it's probably a lifelong
Speaker 2: one that you have to kind of figure out.
Speaker 1: But how do you figure it out with that like
Speaker 1: punching someone? I don't know. I mean I feel like, uh,
Speaker 1: have you had.
Speaker 2: A friendship that you feel like your friendship style is
Speaker 2: one way and that friendship style is a different way.
Speaker 1: Like their friendship style is different than mine. Yeah, of
Speaker 1: course I think we all have that. Yeah, there's no
Speaker 1: friendship style standard, Like are you how do you love
Speaker 1: friendship style? Be your a? I mean I have friends
Speaker 1: that are like the way they show their love for
Speaker 1: me is gifts, like like little things to show them
Speaker 1: like that that. I have friends that the way they
Speaker 1: show their love it's like it's like the love language loge.
Speaker 1: So I guess love languages tran quality time or you know,
Speaker 1: And then I think your love languages, yeah, I can
Speaker 1: translate to friendships, and sometimes that's why your friendships don't work,
Speaker 1: because your love languages are different. M you know, just
Speaker 1: like in relationshipeah. I mean it's still a relationship.
Speaker 2: But do you feel like maybe in relationships because it's
Speaker 2: more intimate, but do you feel like, uh, like, I
Speaker 2: never read that book. So if your love language is
Speaker 2: not the same as my love language, does that mean
Speaker 2: we are friendship's not gonna work? Or does that mean
Speaker 2: I need to not expect your love language to be
Speaker 2: the same as mine. But then we're just speaking fucking
Speaker 2: Spanish and Chinese and that's not gonna work.
Speaker 1: I think also, so like, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think sometimes we have a little bit
Speaker 1: of a few different love languages. Maybe that's why, like
Speaker 1: friendships work out. But I also think that expectations sometimes
Speaker 1: are held a little higher when it comes to love
Speaker 1: versus regular platonic friendship. Sometimes, I mean, there are times
Speaker 1: where I expect my friends to show up for me,
Speaker 1: you know, and more so like when a nig especially
Speaker 1: when a nigga's betraying me, Like, you better show up, right,
Speaker 1: you know, pick a side. This hasn't happened to me before,
Speaker 1: so I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's interesting because I feel like I have different love
Speaker 2: languages than some of my friends, and I feel like
Speaker 2: as I get.
Speaker 1: Older it is not an issue, but it just makes
Speaker 1: there be less understanding. Well, I think also, like you're
Speaker 1: you grow out of people, just like you grew out
Speaker 1: of relationships, like with men, you go out of friendships
Speaker 1: that are platonic as well, you know, like you have
Speaker 1: breakups with friends too, they're not like mutually exclusive. And
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we feel like unless a friend has
Speaker 1: done something terrible to us, and like there's no there's
Speaker 1: no reason to end the friends.
Speaker 2: Friends for ten years, been friends for fifteen years, we're
Speaker 2: gonna be friends forever.
Speaker 1: But sometimes yeah, yeah, I mean, and I have friends
Speaker 1: too that like I haven't talked to and like, like,
Speaker 1: for example, my girlfriend Natalita, like she just moved back
Speaker 1: here and she was one of my closest friends in
Speaker 1: high school. Even after high school, and you know, we
Speaker 1: haven't really kept up with each other too much. We
Speaker 1: check in every now and then, but like we're not
Speaker 1: in each other's lives on a daily at all, on
Speaker 1: a monthly I haven't seen her probably in two years.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like he's grow out of her? No?
Speaker 1: But I feel like that's a real flat that's a
Speaker 1: friendship that like those are the time friendships, or like
Speaker 1: I can come back to you and it's like and
Speaker 1: it's all good and there's no like animosity because you
Speaker 1: haven't been here for me.
Speaker 2: Well, I guess, I guess that's a part of the expectation,
Speaker 2: Like if do I expect you to check in with
Speaker 2: me every week or call me every week, or if.
Speaker 1: I see you like you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So I guess that's a part of not having expectation
Speaker 2: and then it works.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. It's it's interesting what people's expectations are.
Speaker 1: I mean, because like my former friend who had very
Speaker 1: had a lot of expectations for me. Like her expectations
Speaker 1: were like, you know, she needed me to go visit
Speaker 1: her all the time, you know, and like she didn't
Speaker 1: understand why I couldn't because she visited me all the time.
Speaker 1: Well not all the time, but in her mind she
Speaker 1: she visited me all the time and put forth more
Speaker 1: effort into our relationship than I did. I beg to differ,
Speaker 1: but that's her love. Her love language is I don't know,
Speaker 1: I mean my love. I would say my lovely just
Speaker 1: quality time too, but I don't know. I feel like
Speaker 1: our languages got mixed up. And she's just kind of
Speaker 1: a bitch anyway. So yeah, then there's that. Yeah, she's
Speaker 1: just kind of like sometimes she's just people just kind
Speaker 1: of a bitch. Do you think he said she was
Speaker 1: kind of a bitch as a friend? No, I never
Speaker 1: this our friendship ending or the way our friendship played
Speaker 1: out was super shocking to me. I was like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: I always knew that, Like she was really possessive of me.
Speaker 1: I think that's strange too, and like really hold on
Speaker 1: to these like you're my like these terms, like these
Speaker 1: labels you're my best friend, like like we're twelve, like
Speaker 1: you're my best friend and you're my best friend, and
Speaker 1: you're my best friend next week and last week you're
Speaker 1: my best friend, but now you're like my kind of
Speaker 1: that's like that type of shit. That's how I felt like,
Speaker 1: because whenever we'd argue, she would really like that was
Speaker 1: one of her things that she would always bring up,
Speaker 1: like this this best friend title, like you I don't
Speaker 1: know if I can you can be my best friend anymore.
Speaker 1: Like honestly, we're getting him out, like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like it's gonna take some time for me to like
Speaker 1: get you back there, because I literally was like on
Speaker 1: the other line, like is this real? Like okay, but
Speaker 1: I was like nature, I was like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to make this is how This is how it works
Speaker 1: for her in her brain, so you know, more power
Speaker 1: to her, but this is just not how I work.
Speaker 2: But you know what, now that you're saying this out
Speaker 2: loud and you know me and that ex best friend
Speaker 2: are the same, the same sign I maybe do have
Speaker 2: attachments to.
Speaker 1: Like if you've been my best friend, this song and
Speaker 1: this is what's happening.
Speaker 2: This is what I expect from you, and maybe not
Speaker 2: from someone else i've known last they've been less close to.
Speaker 2: But I feel like in myself, my own problem now
Speaker 2: that we're having this conversation is I do have deep
Speaker 2: attachments to things and people. It's fucking crazy. I will
Speaker 2: like reach out to people I haven't talked to you
Speaker 2: in years just to be like, how are you, how's
Speaker 2: that baby, how's that grandma?
Speaker 1: But also.
Speaker 2: If I've known you so long and there's things going
Speaker 2: on in my world or whatever, and we're I think
Speaker 2: we're that close, and then I notice, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I don't I don't know if it's an attachment to
Speaker 2: just the title or like the time spent and the
Speaker 2: time that's been put in, but it is.
Speaker 1: I think I do have an issue just releasing shit.
Speaker 1: I mean, I get it. I mean, especially if you've
Speaker 1: gone through shit with people like they've experienced they've experienced
Speaker 1: things with you, You've experienced things with them that are
Speaker 1: either really traumatic personal private unique to your friendship that
Speaker 1: you didn't share with anyone else. Like, I get that,
Speaker 1: you know, I have that. I have that with with
Speaker 1: I have that with you, I have that with a
Speaker 1: few of my really really close friends. You know. I
Speaker 1: have a deep attachments as well to people. I think
Speaker 1: we all kind of do well, not everyone, but I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's there's different levels. I guess it's a
Speaker 1: spectrum and.
Speaker 2: And I just think I think I'm super sensitive and
Speaker 2: when I have given the title or I like, have
Speaker 2: attached myself to someone in a certain way, and then
Speaker 2: I peep that, I feel like it's not I don't know,
Speaker 2: like to my level of standard it is disappointing to me.
Speaker 2: It's very disappointing, like dream about how I'm gonna curse
Speaker 2: you out.
Speaker 1: Disappointing.
Speaker 2: But I realize that's my own shit that I have
Speaker 2: to like, that has nothing to do with anybody else
Speaker 2: but me. My disappointment in other people is just just that,
Speaker 2: my own that has nothing to do with anybody else.
Speaker 1: That's something I need to better delegate well that and
Speaker 1: you also have to express it to them so they
Speaker 1: know so they can fix it. At least give someone
Speaker 1: the opportunity to fix it, because they might not even
Speaker 1: know what they're doing because their love language is different.
Speaker 2: But I feel I feel like I in many cases
Speaker 2: I have oh yeah, I mean I'm not saying you specifically,
Speaker 2: yeah yeah, let people know yeah, I mean yeah. And
Speaker 2: I think sometimes in platonic friendships it's more for some reason,
Speaker 2: it's more difficult to express your feelings than it is
Speaker 2: in a romantically ship and you're like.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, nigga, you didn't come home last night or whatever,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Whereas in friendships, so let's
Speaker 1: just be nicous, let's be surfaced. And I also don't
Speaker 1: believe in that, sir, I mean I think it's more
Speaker 1: so like I don't know, it's like what okay, I
Speaker 1: think it's more like it's easier to sweeping under the rug.
Speaker 1: For some reason, it's not as volatile as it would
Speaker 1: be with the person you lay lay your head with,
Speaker 1: lay down your head with, you know, or giving your
Speaker 1: body to do. I think it should be that way.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. I mean I think it's
Speaker 1: normal that it would.
Speaker 2: Be and I'm not And listen, guys, I'm not the
Speaker 2: one like you haven't called me in four weeks, so
Speaker 2: you're now just friends.
Speaker 1: You're now just wait. Did you see that meme someone
Speaker 1: sent us that was said, like, every time, like whatever
Speaker 1: you're dating is a guy. I had a friend. Every
Speaker 1: time they suck up, just take a letter out of
Speaker 1: their name until they're gone. Hangman, bitch. I was like, damn,
Speaker 1: it was like all my friends and all my men
Speaker 1: need to have long ass names or they or they
Speaker 1: need to be just like PJ. You get two chances, PJ,
Speaker 1: that's it, hangman, bitch. Kind Of I kind of like
Speaker 1: that because I kind of feel like that's a good concept.
Speaker 2: I think m m oh, my god, baby Daddy had
Speaker 2: eight I know, yeah, and my baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was like it was his middle name, his
Speaker 1: first name, last name, nickname, period after the junior. My goodness,
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh our wine t I finished my
Speaker 1: tea and now I've moved on to one. I'm just
Speaker 1: tell the ring between the two. I'm not sure how
Speaker 1: we got here. But oh, did you guys?
Speaker 2: Have you guys heard are bonus episode for All Moms
Speaker 2: with Chazade and Susan.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's Fam Fam Fam. Yeah, we dropped a bonus
Speaker 1: episode last week. If you guys haven't checked it out,
Speaker 1: check it out.
Speaker 2: Basically, our girls over at FAM have started a podcast,
Speaker 2: and you know, it's it's a different perspective than ours.
Speaker 2: They're married, they're not yet, but they're real, they're raw
Speaker 2: and uh look.
Speaker 1: I'm still auditioning to be a wife, bitch. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's all. We're getting all married friends this year. Yeah, like,
Speaker 1: I need to surround myself with married people if I
Speaker 1: ever planned to be married or feel like I feel
Speaker 1: like you know, it's part of the manifestation. Surround yourself
Speaker 1: with married people. You too will be married eventually, right,
Speaker 1: Susan and Charizade, right right, we're taking notes wait, like
Speaker 1: this one of them said something really compelling to that obviously,
Speaker 1: like we do sometimes, but I think it's been a minute,
Speaker 1: Like I think it was Susan. It was like, if
Speaker 1: I can offer advice to any new mom is to
Speaker 1: get the fuck off social media, because it's true that shit,
Speaker 1: we'll drive you crazy. I think I'm due for a
Speaker 1: social media break. Me too. You can't know or you
Speaker 1: we keep one or the other. I need to do it. Well,
Speaker 1: we need to work out our schedule. I know, I
Speaker 1: know we do.
Speaker 2: I mean, shit, it's not even I mean, I totally
Speaker 2: agree it's particularly especially for new moms, but shit, we
Speaker 2: all needed, like to take a break from it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes.
Speaker 2: I appreciate her saying that, because shit, I forget that
Speaker 2: I need a break. And then I'm on it NonStop
Speaker 2: and then I'm like, what the fuck have you been doing.
Speaker 1: For two hours? I know, I know. So go check
Speaker 1: out girls out. Check them out. They're on Apple Podcasts, iTunes, Spotify,
Speaker 1: you can search them fam for all moms and yeah,
Speaker 1: how do we That was? Hey, what are we talking about?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, your nails? You don't see them? Ooh day
Speaker 1: she did a good job. It's Rose quartz, no shit, Okay,
Speaker 1: making sure I got it. I told you she's good.
Speaker 1: That's really cute.
Speaker 2: She doesn't really take new clients, but for you, I
Speaker 2: got my girl.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, well if she comes to you. It's what
Speaker 3: I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I feel like we are like remember remember on, Remember
Speaker 2: on what the fuck am I trying to say in
Speaker 2: living color to the lady who always gossips in the house?
Speaker 1: But you didn't hear that. So the other day I
Speaker 1: text Jamila and I was like, bitch in twenty twenty
Speaker 1: and even in twenty nineteen, why are bitches courting niggas?
Speaker 1: And I was like, what are you talking about? We
Speaker 1: haven't experienced this. I feel like I have been courting men.
Speaker 1: I feel like a man and I am you know whatever,
Speaker 1: you're whoever's listening, like, oh there you guys. You guys
Speaker 1: are falling into the narrative of double standards and gender
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. No, there's one thing I will say.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to court a man. That's
Speaker 1: where I draw the line with male and female. And like, oh,
Speaker 1: I expected do you court me, you pay? But apparently
Speaker 1: apparently I'm so thirsty. I'm just willing to do it. No,
Speaker 1: I think, I know.
Speaker 2: My concept is that women be knowing what they want
Speaker 2: and when they want something, they want it, and that's
Speaker 2: fucking it. And that's also how I am if I
Speaker 2: like you, oh, are we gonna hang out?
Speaker 1: Hello? Hi? Because like there's this guy and I've been
Speaker 1: like he was. He was the one who was like
Speaker 1: kind of reaching out to me a lot, and I
Speaker 1: was kind of like stand offish because he's I call
Speaker 1: him Forbidden Bay. This is a New Bay guy's Forbidden Bay.
Speaker 1: And I was like Forbidden Bay, like I don't know,
Speaker 1: like I probably shouldn't hang out with him because it's
Speaker 1: kind of forbidden. Like he used to fuck around with
Speaker 1: one of my friends and like, eh, not a good look.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be that type of girl. I
Speaker 1: know their shit wasn't serious and she's moved on and
Speaker 1: she probably wouldn't care, but like there probably needs to
Speaker 1: be a conversation blah blah blah. So I was kind
Speaker 1: of hesitant, and then like I was like we started
Speaker 1: talking more and I was like, I kind of like
Speaker 1: he's kind of cool. I kind of want to know
Speaker 1: what's going on over there. And then I don't know
Speaker 1: when the roles got reversed, but forbidden, Bay is now
Speaker 1: being courted by me and like you took him on
Speaker 1: to dinner. No, but I just feel like I'm like,
Speaker 1: he'll he'll make plans with me, won't hit me up,
Speaker 1: and then I'll hit him. Oh, he made plans with me,
Speaker 1: hit me up like four hours, like two three hours
Speaker 1: after the plans were supposed to happen, and was like
Speaker 1: my bad, da da da, And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're late, and he was like, what about what are
Speaker 1: you doing this weekend? I said, I'm busy, and then
Speaker 1: like he texted me this week that weekend and I
Speaker 1: was like coming out and he came and hung out
Speaker 1: at our thing. Oh, at our Vision party and I
Speaker 1: was not in a good place party she was. I
Speaker 1: was super anxious, stressed out, and possibly on drugs that
Speaker 1: were not assisting in any of those problems. Yeah, pretty intense.
Speaker 1: She's like, we're not doing any more events. Ever. I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, you're right anyway. So then I want
Speaker 1: to hang out with him again. I try to make plans.
Speaker 1: He was like unavailable, told me it was gonna hit.
Speaker 1: Then he said he was gonna hit me up to
Speaker 1: make the plan on Sunday, said he didn't hit me
Speaker 1: up on Saturday, didn't hit me up Saturday. Sunday rolls around.
Speaker 1: I told him I'm free after four, After four happens,
Speaker 1: still haven't heard from him. So I text him like
Speaker 1: what's up? And he's like what up? I'm like, are
Speaker 1: we still hanging out? And he's like, yeah, I'm down.
Speaker 1: I'm down, nigga, the fuck what you mean? You're down?
Speaker 1: What you need to be like obsessed with? So then
Speaker 1: I was like, he was like, well, what do you
Speaker 1: want to do? And I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: What do you mean? What do I want to do?
Speaker 1: Figure it out? Do you want to lay up? Do
Speaker 1: you want to like watch TV? Do you want to chill?
Speaker 1: Do you want to go in a movie? You want
Speaker 1: to eat? I'm like, do you want to smoke? I said, chill?
Speaker 1: Smoke sounds good? So anyway, I went over there and she.
Speaker 2: Called me crying, not crying, like I don't know, I'm
Speaker 2: just I feel like I'm courting these niggas, but I'm
Speaker 2: still going and it's raining.
Speaker 1: Oh god, it's raining so hard. Why are you going
Speaker 1: over here? This is crazy? What kind of bitch goes
Speaker 1: to see a guy in the rain, literally like so
Speaker 1: mad at myself, but still going. It was literally pouring.
Speaker 1: I was on the freeway and scared for my life,
Speaker 1: but I was like, I gotta see what's going on
Speaker 1: over here.
Speaker 3: I gotta see forbidden because it's forbidden.
Speaker 1: Keep in mind, I told you forbidden days are always
Speaker 1: going to be more appealing because it's forbidden. It's like
Speaker 1: Adam and even the fruit and shit. He also talks
Speaker 1: about himself a lot. Wait, maybe a bad sign? Wait,
Speaker 1: like that he's so bombed. No, just like he just
Speaker 1: talks a lot about himself, Like like I was just yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: what's his sign? Uh? They literally into my crystal bomb.
Speaker 1: He is a sad hm adventurous. I don't really know
Speaker 1: much else, but yeah, I don't know. I'm just like
Speaker 1: I just feel like Also, like even on Hinge, it's
Speaker 1: like talking to these guys, I'm like, are we going
Speaker 1: to meet up? Or yeah, I'm like what are we doing?
Speaker 1: I ate up? A guy was like do you want
Speaker 1: to meet for coffee? Never like he was talking to
Speaker 1: me all the time, like the whole time, And then
Speaker 1: I made the initiation of like, hey, let's hang out
Speaker 1: haven't heard crickets. I'm talking to this guy who said
Speaker 1: he was into like what is it? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And you know that sounds fun. So I was like
Speaker 2: he's like, I'm like, so, what are you into? And
Speaker 2: you know, and he's like choking and spitting and just
Speaker 2: I'm into everything except like shit in blood. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: me too, Yeah, that's where I drove around. And then
Speaker 2: he's like, well, are you gonna do something for me?
Speaker 2: Like and I was like yeah. I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I don't know, we'll see. He's like, yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 1: Never heard from him again. Like what, niggah?
Speaker 2: What what is all this fucking word for play? For
Speaker 2: no goddamn reason do you want to meet up right now?
Speaker 2: It's sushie, That's exactly what it is.
Speaker 1: Just internet flirting. It's just internet attention real quick. You
Speaker 1: just like want to like start a combo because it's
Speaker 1: interesting and then he goes back to his wife. Is
Speaker 1: that it probably because you know I don't trust these
Speaker 1: niggas anymore.
Speaker 2: I don't trust myself because I make bad decisions over people.
Speaker 1: Damn. I just want to know, like, is it like
Speaker 1: I had a friend, like one of my best friends,
Speaker 1: actually my like my high school sweetheart. He's not married,
Speaker 1: about to have a baby, and his wife proposed to him. Oh,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I just saw that online.
Speaker 2: That was actually popped in my head when we talked
Speaker 2: about courting niggas, like on one knee.
Speaker 1: I don't know how it happened. No, I think they
Speaker 1: were on the couch and she just like pulled a
Speaker 1: ring out and was like, marry me or something. Would
Speaker 1: you do that? You don't pink? No, No, I wouldn't either.
Speaker 4: Fuck no, there's no fucking way. There's no fucking that's
Speaker 4: where the double standard should live for me personally, there's
Speaker 4: no fucking way. And but the way I'm going driving
Speaker 4: in the rain, who knows. Who fucking knows?
Speaker 1: So what happened when he got over there? We talked
Speaker 1: a lot about He talked a lot. I felt like
Speaker 1: I didn't share one story that bothers me when I'm
Speaker 1: on a date. I also didn't really feel like talking. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I'm just like all right, and I was he
Speaker 1: kind of makes me a little nervous, so like I
Speaker 1: didn't really I was like, Okay, I don't want no niggas.
Speaker 1: That makes me nervous. I don't have time for that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't I'm too confident to be nervous.
Speaker 2: I don't have time if you make me nervous if
Speaker 2: not gonna work, I kind of not nervous.
Speaker 1: Like okay, well I like to make a nigga nervous.
Speaker 1: I like that. No, you know what I'm yeah, but
Speaker 1: you know, like I've done that and it doesn't end well,
Speaker 1: Like I have to kind of obsessed with you because
Speaker 1: it's at some point the roles switch. Wait, I know
Speaker 1: you can't smoke, but is there a weed here somewhere? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we can't simp of it. We can't summit up in it.
Speaker 1: You want some for this? No, I don't want that
Speaker 1: goddamn canoe caneen. We could still supposed to was I
Speaker 1: supposed to refrigerate it? We have this canoeen that King
Speaker 1: Noir gave us and I've had it since forever, since
Speaker 1: last year. You think it's okay. Should take a little sip,
Speaker 1: he said, Let me smell it. Oh still potent. Oh god,
Speaker 1: I'm ready to take a sip too. I'm not going
Speaker 1: through my back hurts. You're having a lot of anxiety
Speaker 1: this week. Oh my god, Oh my god. Why anyway, Yeah,
Speaker 1: we we we hung out, we talked, blah blah blah,
Speaker 1: and then like oh then he yeah, then we smoked.
Speaker 1: We smoked like this new weed that it's like patent pending.
Speaker 1: It's called like caviar, calve gold or some shit, which
Speaker 1: I was like, how is weed patent pending? So whatever,
Speaker 1: I smoked it because you know whatever, because I accept
Speaker 1: all drugs. And then we just were sitting and talking.
Speaker 1: And then at some point, like I don't know, I
Speaker 1: got really awkward and I was like gonna leave. I
Speaker 1: was like I think I'm gonna go because you're not
Speaker 1: too high. Yeah, I was like, way you said I'm
Speaker 1: gonna go. I was like, I'm gonna go. It's like
Speaker 1: I think I should go. I'm getting tired. The rain
Speaker 1: is pouring. What point, how long had you been there?
Speaker 1: Like two hours? MILLI an hour and a half, two
Speaker 1: hours maybe not even maybe not even two hours. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so high. I I need to
Speaker 1: get out of here. Like and I kind of felt
Speaker 1: like he does he want me to leave because like
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell, like he was yawning, I've done that.
Speaker 2: I have gotten so high that I'm like, what does
Speaker 2: he like me, is that this other bridge that's here?
Speaker 1: Does he want me here? Does he get me to
Speaker 1: get out? And then I'm like, must leave, right, That's
Speaker 1: how I felt. I felt like, and you know, this
Speaker 1: happened one other time when what's happened a few times,
Speaker 1: but there was one specific time when I was hanging
Speaker 1: out with Reese and she gave me an edible edible
Speaker 1: and like, I immediately got super paranoid and I was like,
Speaker 1: she wants me to leave. I gotta go. She's ready
Speaker 1: for me to go. I'm imposing, Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: gotta go. And then I couldn't drive, so it was
Speaker 1: nice bashed how to come pick me up? Blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so yeah, I felt like I should leave.
Speaker 1: And then he was like are you what are you?
Speaker 1: Where are you going going? And I was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm tired. He's like, I'm like I'm hungry.
Speaker 1: He's like, are you hungry? Let's order some food. I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, he wants me to say psycho, but
Speaker 1: good answer. That's why sometimes weed for real, like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: weed on the first day could be not a good look.
Speaker 1: And I was in his space too, like I was
Speaker 1: in his environment. I just felt uneven, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. I need not be under the influence the
Speaker 1: next time we see him at all. You're getting all
Speaker 1: types of mixed messages. So we ordered the food, we
Speaker 1: ate the food, and then we went to what we
Speaker 1: went and started watching this doc this documentary. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you guys have seen it. It's called Don't
Speaker 1: Fuck with Cats.
Speaker 2: You gotta watch this crazy shit, so crazy, so crazy?
Speaker 2: Can I give me nightmares and murderous thoughts?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Lucas such a strange She looked like
Speaker 1: a murderer, like a beautiful, a beautiful murderer, but not
Speaker 1: like like a beautiful gay twink twink tink what are
Speaker 1: they called a tink twink? Narcissist gay murder? So why
Speaker 1: this would be, like, you know, first date, so material?
Speaker 1: I don't know, Probably because he knew we weren't gonna
Speaker 1: watch it. So we're sitting on the couch and then
Speaker 1: I'm sitting there because I'm like, oh, God, like and
Speaker 1: this is forbidden bay, like I shouldn't be doing this anyway,
Speaker 1: should I? And that's another reason why I thought maybe
Speaker 1: I should leave. I was like, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I should be here. This is weird.
Speaker 2: I started getting paranoid about your trifle and this call
Speaker 2: him trifling.
Speaker 1: I'm already here, ready to go. Fuck. I was like,
Speaker 1: and I took a shower before I went. I was like,
Speaker 1: should I shave my pussy or should I not? Because
Speaker 1: literally that could be the determining factor what or not
Speaker 1: you know or not because that if you know, like
Speaker 1: sometimes bitches do not shave the pussy because they need
Speaker 1: to stop themselves. That's never. That's never stopped me. Never,
Speaker 1: not one time. I don't think it's really stopped me,
Speaker 1: but sometime or like, don't take a shower?
Speaker 2: That stopped me not taking a shower maybe, but then
Speaker 2: I'll be like, do you have a shower?
Speaker 3: Is there hot water?
Speaker 1: Right? Paper towels, And I'm like, why don't you just
Speaker 1: take a real shower? This retired off you right now in.
Speaker 3: The fucking bathroom, wedding paper, towels and toilet paper.
Speaker 1: Trying to be quiet, turn the cheek on very quietly
Speaker 1: so you can't hear the water run. I'm also trying
Speaker 1: to like, go do it quickly.
Speaker 2: Right because you know then he knows then your pussy
Speaker 2: say smells straight like hands the dial.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean this.
Speaker 2: This conversation confirms my theory that women are honestly more
Speaker 2: mannish than men. And a lot of times our I, damn,
Speaker 2: what the fuck is about to go down? The guy
Speaker 2: is not even thinking about it. We're like, hmm, that
Speaker 2: dick might be big.
Speaker 1: Well let me tell you. Yeah. So we started watching
Speaker 1: the documentary and at some point, like I was, I
Speaker 1: was sitting on the edge of the couch and he
Speaker 1: was like, he like moved a far away from me.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, like maybe he doesn't want
Speaker 1: me to leave. And I just sat there, like you know,
Speaker 1: and he was like, are you a cuddler? And I
Speaker 1: was like yeah. And so I went over there and
Speaker 1: laid on him, and I was like, okay, I guess
Speaker 1: this is I didn't make the first move. This is him,
Speaker 1: not my phone, do anything. I'm just here. I went
Speaker 1: over there and I laid on him, and I could
Speaker 1: feel his dick in my back and it was I
Speaker 1: could feel it. And wait, but you were laying on him?
Speaker 1: Was it hard? No? Oh damn? And we I watched
Speaker 1: the Doctor marry for like a good thirty minutes and
Speaker 1: then at some point like he started kind of like
Speaker 1: grabbing around my neck and then like kind of like
Speaker 1: choking me a little bit, and you know, I don't
Speaker 1: know me. I love a good choking me. I was
Speaker 1: like choking the jou. I was like, is this happening?
Speaker 1: What's he doing? Forbidden? Like before even kiss he was
Speaker 1: joking because I was like on like he was laying
Speaker 1: back and I was laying on top of him, and
Speaker 1: then we like then you know, you start kissing making out.
Speaker 1: We made out for like I don't know an hour,
Speaker 1: which is crazy. I haven't done that in a long time.
Speaker 1: And then you know it suck in the titties rubbing thing,
Speaker 1: and then what were your thoughts? Like, please share your thoughts? Wait?
Speaker 1: What are my thoughts? Like? Should I do more? Like
Speaker 1: is this dumb that I'm just making out? Oh yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah? Then we're just making out? And then I
Speaker 1: started like guilting myself, like I started being like am
Speaker 1: I mature for just one? Like? Should I just make
Speaker 1: out with it? I don't only want to make out,
Speaker 1: Let's just make out? And I was like is that stupid?
Speaker 1: Like what a record? What the fuck I want to do?
Speaker 1: I'm a grown ass? Woman, I can fucking slip his
Speaker 1: hand on my pants if I want to. You only
Speaker 1: live once. And I was like, but also chill because
Speaker 1: you know have like you know, you want to have
Speaker 1: a second date, Like, don't do too much? What if
Speaker 1: he doesn't call you back? Do you think niggas have
Speaker 1: this conversation ever? Like like will she call me if
Speaker 1: we do too much? No? I'm like is it too much?
Speaker 1: And then I was like, well, also like I know
Speaker 1: what the fuck I want. I'm like, I'm growing, I
Speaker 1: got a kid. The fuck I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1: And then it was like literally going back and forth
Speaker 1: in my head like should I touch his stick? Should
Speaker 1: I not touch stick? Should I touch his stick? Should
Speaker 1: not touch it? Okay, I'm touching his stick. Okay, we're
Speaker 1: over the wharf the sweatpants. We're safe, We're safe for safe.
Speaker 1: We're just gonna stay here. This is it, okay. And
Speaker 1: then at some point I like pulled away and I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, let's just like watch the movie. And
Speaker 1: I was like okay. I was like, I need a break.
Speaker 1: You said that I need a break, and like we
Speaker 1: just watched the movie. And then I was like I
Speaker 1: don't want to break. How long did you watch the movie?
Speaker 1: Like two minutes? And then like I got back on top.
Speaker 1: Then I was like, just went for it, just traveled it.
Speaker 1: And we definitely have a lot of chemistry. Uh, probably
Speaker 1: because it's written. And then at some point, like I
Speaker 1: took my shirt off and like we were just I
Speaker 1: don't know, like I was lifting up his shirt. I
Speaker 1: was kissing his stomach, and then like then I pulled
Speaker 1: his dick out, and then I was like, okay, like
Speaker 1: fuck it, I'm gonna suck it. And then I did
Speaker 1: you pull it out?
Speaker 3: I know there's this weird thing like how long we're
Speaker 3: gonna make out for what's gonna come?
Speaker 1: We had been making out. We had been going at
Speaker 1: it for like an hour and a half. At this point,
Speaker 1: we were in like episode two of fuck Don't Fuck
Speaker 1: with Cats okay first, but not fucking each other. Don't
Speaker 1: episode of Don't Fuck with Cats but not fucking We
Speaker 1: were episode two and you know, each episode's an hour.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say those episodes are long, so I'm like
Speaker 1: so then I'm like I do it, and like, wow,
Speaker 1: bomb beautiful. Penis really nice, really really wanted to sit
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 2: But I was like Okay, you're better than me, so
Speaker 2: I'd be like, this is SIT's over come on.
Speaker 1: No, that was like the only amount of strength I had.
Speaker 1: I could control that. But then after I was done,
Speaker 1: I felt bad I did not I was like, why
Speaker 1: did I do that? Because you want to know? But
Speaker 1: I did? But also like I just felt like I
Speaker 1: just made it too easy, especially for a nigga I'm courting,
Speaker 1: Especially for a nigga who has made no fucking effort
Speaker 1: at all. You know, we've all done it. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm supposed to be past this by now. We
Speaker 1: talk about this shit all the time. Why am Why
Speaker 1: did I do that? When I drove home, I was
Speaker 1: like talking to myself, you dumb bitch. Not only did
Speaker 1: you do that, it's still raining, bitch, You're driving home
Speaker 1: at three am in the fucking rain, got a nigga's house,
Speaker 1: who didn't make plans, who's forbidden, who made no effort
Speaker 1: eat you That part too, that part two, That part
Speaker 1: two made me feel like, why didn't you return a favor? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but also like I.
Speaker 3: Know it wasn't that you're posting. It's a rapper sitting
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's yeah. But also that too, Yeah, but I
Speaker 1: just just like it's he gonna call me? Like do
Speaker 1: I want him to call me?
Speaker 2: There's something there's some weird thing about if a woman
Speaker 2: just gives the guy head and it's.
Speaker 1: More hope. I felt like I felt like a hoe.
Speaker 1: I felt hoey.
Speaker 2: I feel like I sucked dick and just suck dick recently.
Speaker 2: But I can't think it was dick.
Speaker 1: It was I felt holley. And then there was also
Speaker 1: a point in time while I can't talk, where I
Speaker 1: was trying to make eye contact with him and I
Speaker 1: wasn't sure if he was like making it with me.
Speaker 1: And then I feel was like, what's going on? You
Speaker 1: have your fucking eye contact and lets me know you're
Speaker 1: in it? Or and like I'm not being a hoe,
Speaker 1: like we're being hosed together. We're contact with me, Make
Speaker 1: I contact me? Do you love me? Not love me?
Speaker 1: But you know? But anyway, my god, that Candleen, I'm high.
Speaker 1: I haven't mean all day back doesn't hurt anymore. It's great.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling a little loopy. How much did you drink?
Speaker 1: Just a sip? But I haven't eaten all day and
Speaker 1: it's six o'clock. Ate one piece of toes. Anyway, I
Speaker 1: text him and I said, got home, made it home,
Speaker 1: good night, and he wrote, glad you made it home.
Speaker 1: Call me tomorrow, and that irritated the fuck out of me.
Speaker 1: Why call me tomorrow? You call me nigga? I mean, okay.
Speaker 1: The call me tomorrow also made me feel okay, good
Speaker 1: that okay he wants me to call him, but then
Speaker 1: it also made me feel like, so I have to
Speaker 1: call you okay, you're crazy okay, And then I did
Speaker 1: even crazier. Oh no, what did you do? I didn't
Speaker 1: hear about this? Please? So I wanted to call him tomorrow.
Speaker 1: So it's tomorrow, right, and I want to call him right.
Speaker 1: I'm not ready, but I don't know what I'm gonna say.
Speaker 1: I don't have anything to talk about with him, so
Speaker 1: I made up something to talk about. What the fuck
Speaker 1: did you make up? Crazy? Oh my god? Sorry? I
Speaker 1: called him and I was like hey, He was like,
Speaker 1: what's up? And I was like so, I was like,
Speaker 1: so that food you ordered me last night? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Just lying I said would you order me last night?
Speaker 1: Made me sick. This was a lie totally. I was
Speaker 1: like I threw up and he was like, I told
Speaker 1: you that food wasn't good, and I was like, wait,
Speaker 1: why did why why did he order your food he
Speaker 1: told you wasn't good. Well, he ordered it because he
Speaker 1: thought it was good. And then we got it and
Speaker 1: he didn't think it was good. He didn't even need
Speaker 1: his food. But I was stoned starving tie of course,
Speaker 1: because welcome to Elan and it was fine. It didn't
Speaker 1: make me sick. I I just needed an excuse to
Speaker 1: call it. I just wanted to blame him for something,
Speaker 1: because that's what we do everybody. I think you're crazy,
Speaker 1: I don't care because you know what, because someone who's
Speaker 1: listening has done some dumb shit like this just to
Speaker 1: have a reason to call someone. Guaranteed, I'm just admitting it.
Speaker 2: You know what's funny about this conversation is like if
Speaker 2: you have if you like a guy or you're like
Speaker 2: into him, these are all the feelings you had. But literally,
Speaker 2: as I was driving over here, I thought about this
Speaker 2: guy whose house I went over. He was like totally
Speaker 2: reaching out to me a lot of times, and I
Speaker 2: was just like laowing him off. I went over his
Speaker 2: house like three times, but this one time I had
Speaker 2: taken Mollie, like in the daytime for no reason, and
Speaker 2: it was just rolling over into the evening, and so
Speaker 2: I called him.
Speaker 1: I ever told this story.
Speaker 2: And cause I was like, he's kind of short, but
Speaker 2: he's a big So I went over there, had sex,
Speaker 2: it was great, gave me head, left in the middle
Speaker 2: of the night, never reached out to him again.
Speaker 1: And today I was like, wonder how like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: it's terrible. What are the guy's doing? Which I wish
Speaker 1: himul merry Christmas? No, I should just leave it. But
Speaker 1: I'm like, I didn't even think twice about it. I
Speaker 1: just was like, thanks by. But like when you like
Speaker 1: an a little bit, You're like, how can I call him?
Speaker 3: Should I say?
Speaker 1: Hello?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: You got me, made me sick, I'm make me feel better,
Speaker 1: Come at me. Hello.
Speaker 2: So it's like, it's crazy, how like our women, like
Speaker 2: our whole shaming women is like it.
Speaker 1: All depends on.
Speaker 2: How much we like the guy and how much we
Speaker 2: feel like he's into us.
Speaker 1: I don't even know if he's into me. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm so confused by him. I think it's just there's
Speaker 1: an allure around about him, around him, it's the forbiddenness.
Speaker 1: It's like I went to his home, it's beautiful. You know,
Speaker 1: he is a dad and like he cares a lot
Speaker 1: about his kids, and that's obviously a turn on for me.
Speaker 1: You know, he's adventurous. Uh, he's kind of suck He's sexy.
Speaker 1: He's also good looking. His body's bombed. He was cute.
Speaker 1: He has a big penis, Like you know, I have
Speaker 1: never seen that penis. That's gonna suck you up. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I don't know, the point is I needs to do better.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna reach out any Oh. I also text
Speaker 1: him today too because I'm crazy and said what because
Speaker 1: I told him I was building this thing for Iri,
Speaker 1: and like I sent him a picture of it, like
Speaker 1: I did it. Look what I did? Well, I didn't
Speaker 1: do it, but MISSION accomplished what he said. He hasn't responded.
Speaker 1: I think he's well. I know that he's busy. He's
Speaker 1: out of town right now with family. So I am
Speaker 1: I think, Oh God, I don't want to say it.
Speaker 1: I think I've just been spiraling too. I also saw
Speaker 1: a happy bay recently. No did you when like three
Speaker 1: days ago? And did you make up?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, we're over that, right, mm. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: kind of like love him a little bit still, but
Speaker 1: like I don't want to like do that.
Speaker 4: No, I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not saw okay, you know what you are so beautiful,
Speaker 1: you are amazing. I too. I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to. I'm not gonna like
Speaker 1: I haven't called him since I'm not pursuing it. I
Speaker 1: haven't even really been thinking about him. It's just when
Speaker 1: I'm in his presence, I get like rap, I like
Speaker 1: it's he does you know, he does a lot of
Speaker 1: deep deep deep sir, and you love a deep stair
Speaker 1: but also makes me but I don't his just like
Speaker 1: it's really intense and I get nervous. He's another one
Speaker 1: that makes me nervous. And also I'm closed off too
Speaker 1: because I'm like, oh, we've done this, Like, don't try
Speaker 1: to like get me, don't try to deep stare me now, nigga.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I've just been like revisiting old things.
Speaker 1: I don't know, not revisiting. That's the only old thing
Speaker 1: I've I've been I've visited. But I just need support.
Speaker 1: I need I need, I need to do better. I
Speaker 1: need to not message for bidd and Bay anymore and
Speaker 1: make him make an effort, and if he doesn't, then
Speaker 1: there's no more Forbidden Bay. And really there shouldn't be
Speaker 1: any forbidden Bay, to be honest, because there's more bays
Speaker 1: out here. I think there are so many bays and
Speaker 1: our bay will come and be amazing. I need to
Speaker 1: I think I need a break.
Speaker 2: I I know I need a break because I make
Speaker 2: I make the decisions with my vagina a lot.
Speaker 1: I just not like a guy, and I just.
Speaker 2: I just I need to do better for myself, for
Speaker 2: my energy, for my healing, for my trauma, whatever that is.
Speaker 1: Whenever I feel figure the shit out.
Speaker 4: So I'm just are you doing a detox again?
Speaker 1: I'm doing Dick talks? You are? I have to? Okay?
Speaker 1: Starting one today? No?
Speaker 3: Well yes, well wait I don't know when this comes out.
Speaker 1: What twenty twenty?
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I'm gonna try and go a year.
Speaker 1: Really, I think you could do it because you were
Speaker 1: really in it. I know you went like six months.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know I can do it. I just don't
Speaker 3: want to have but.
Speaker 1: Once you start like you were feeling it, you were
Speaker 1: like not.
Speaker 2: But for me, like escapism for me is like people sex, drinking.
Speaker 1: What problems though, Dick.
Speaker 2: Like that's my way of like getting high, like going away,
Speaker 2: I mean, like not like weed.
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, that's my escapism. So
Speaker 1: I just need to do better. I need to want
Speaker 1: more for myself. So that's my goal. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: And that is mean I can't date it. Just I'm
Speaker 1: not fucking well, don't give don't give head because I
Speaker 1: don't feel like how afterwards? For sure, I'm never giving
Speaker 1: ahead again, like just just like that was the first
Speaker 1: time I've ever given not the first time. That was
Speaker 1: the first time in a very long time that I've
Speaker 1: given head. And that was it. Sometimes I feel good
Speaker 1: about myself. Sometimes I'm like, thank god, I can go
Speaker 1: all the way. Well, I mean I I that was
Speaker 1: a given because I knew I wasn't going to do that,
Speaker 1: you know. But like the fact that that's all that,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just it wasn't returned. It does
Speaker 1: it makes me feel like I did everything for you.
Speaker 1: I drove in the rain.
Speaker 2: It's very high school, you know, it's roots back to
Speaker 2: high school.
Speaker 1: You know what I thought about you too. I thought
Speaker 1: I kind of thought about you too. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I really did think about you when I was giving
Speaker 1: himpet because you told you told me this, You told
Speaker 1: me and you shared on the podcas Hass that there
Speaker 1: was a time where you would give head, turned around
Speaker 1: like you wouldn't look at the guy, like you would
Speaker 1: turn the other way. And at first I started that
Speaker 1: way and I wasn't even conscious that I was doing it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, wait, no, we need to turn
Speaker 1: around here, like we need to turn around here because
Speaker 1: I need to make sure like we're in this together, right,
Speaker 1: This isn't like a one man's situation. Lord Jesus, save me,
Speaker 1: Save me.
Speaker 2: You know, we all need to be saved. But at
Speaker 2: least we know we need some saving. We need some
Speaker 2: you know, there's some fine tuning that needs to happen.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I also wonder how many years on the podcast we're
Speaker 2: gonna be talking. It's like here too, We're like we're
Speaker 2: gonna be better, gonna be healing, dick toxing. I'm not
Speaker 2: gonna be given any head. I'm not gonna go to
Speaker 2: any random's house and get some dick at night. It's
Speaker 2: gonna happen five years.
Speaker 1: Look, Buddha didn't become Buddha in two years. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: a new year. New you. There's like some girl who's
Speaker 1: sent to horries. Okay, it's time for horse stories. Whose stories?
Speaker 1: Do we need to update our horse or horse sounds? Okay? Okay.
Speaker 1: It's spring twenty ten and I'm in eleventh grade and
Speaker 1: in Panama City Beach, Florida. Me and Mike. Oh, it's Florida.
Speaker 1: That's why me and my girlfriends had been in Panama
Speaker 1: for about two days. At this point, we got dressed
Speaker 1: and headed to the beach like we did daily after breakfast.
Speaker 1: We get there and of course it's packed. It's packed
Speaker 1: of people like sardines, packed with people like sardines. Bitches
Speaker 1: are butt naked and these niggas have all their guns out,
Speaker 1: so exciting. The drinks start rolling in and the blunts
Speaker 1: start lighting. I'm drinking and mixing everything under the sun.
Speaker 1: We didn't care. Fast forward a few hours and we
Speaker 1: meet a group of guys. It was five of us
Speaker 1: and six of them. One of them takes interest in
Speaker 1: me and we walk off from the crowd to some
Speaker 1: chairs in the distance up and then he comes out
Speaker 1: of left field and tells me he wants to taste me.
Speaker 1: And this. At this point, we are both faded and
Speaker 1: he's fine as fuck, so I say, bet I'm down.
Speaker 1: We walk a little further down the beach and he
Speaker 1: eats me out in broad daylight on the beach. Reckless
Speaker 1: as fuck, but this isn't the kicker. We go and
Speaker 1: meet back up with our friends. All boot up. We
Speaker 1: ended up eating dinner around six pm with them and
Speaker 1: me and my dude exchange numbers. He texted me later
Speaker 1: on the later on that night, around like nine or
Speaker 1: ten pm and asked me what we were getting into
Speaker 1: that night. I told him we were going to a
Speaker 1: foam party and he said they may come through, but
Speaker 1: didn't end up seeing them. Once the night of partying
Speaker 1: was over, of course, around two am, I got the
Speaker 1: what you do in text? I knew he wanted to fuck,
Speaker 1: and so did I, so I replied something kinky and
Speaker 1: he told me to come over. I know I shouldn't
Speaker 1: have gone by myself, but bucket I did. Took a
Speaker 1: taxi to his condo for hours from hours, about a
Speaker 1: seven minute ride, and met up with the dude. Him
Speaker 1: and all six of his friends shared the condo. There
Speaker 1: were two girls already there with two of the guys
Speaker 1: that I didn't know, but I sat down and was social.
Speaker 1: After we smoked and chilled for a bit, he invites
Speaker 1: me into his room and I knew it was about
Speaker 1: to go down. He wasted no time. Once he's closed
Speaker 1: the door, he started kissing my neck and climbing on me,
Speaker 1: and I was so down. Fast forward about forty minutes
Speaker 1: were and we're all full on fucking, and we are
Speaker 1: full on fucking. It's great. Next next thing I know,
Speaker 1: I hear the door open and I jump to cover myself,
Speaker 1: but he doesn't. I was like, uh, who the fuck
Speaker 1: is that one of the niggas walked in and closed
Speaker 1: the door. Bitch, oh bit, he was fine as fine.
Speaker 1: I was looking like, what the fuck were about to do?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Pause, we need some names. The main dude,
Speaker 1: let's call him Tie. The nigga that I walked in,
Speaker 1: let's call him Kyle. So after Kyle closes the door,
Speaker 1: I'm looking crazy as hell butt naked, and so is Tay. Okay.
Speaker 1: Tay looks at me and asks if I'm comfortable if
Speaker 1: Kyle watched us. I was like, oh, sure, this is
Speaker 1: kinky and I don't know. Oh my god, y'all. Two
Speaker 1: more niggas, one at a time, closing the door behind
Speaker 1: them about five minutes ago. Oh my god, girl in
Speaker 1: eleventh grade, I was scared, and every time Kyle was
Speaker 1: contact with me, like asking if I was comfortable, Kyle's
Speaker 1: the guy closed the door. The initial guy, No, Kyle.
Speaker 1: The other guy was asking her if she was comfortable,
Speaker 1: which I appreciate and kind of turned me on more
Speaker 1: that he cared that I felt safe. I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, he cares about me. Let's make sure I
Speaker 1: don't feel rapey. Okay. After a while of fucking with
Speaker 1: the three other guys watching what I knew was about
Speaker 1: to happen happened. One of them walked up and took
Speaker 1: his dick out and then asked me to lock it.
Speaker 1: I said, absolutely, girl, I was in it at this point,
Speaker 1: so hot and ready. He started eating me out while
Speaker 1: Tay beat his meat and made out with me. At
Speaker 1: this point, the other two guys had their dicks out,
Speaker 1: beating it in opposite sides of the room. Within twenty minutes,
Speaker 1: we all were naked and they were running a train
Speaker 1: on me. Yup, the whole ass train, and I loved it.
Speaker 1: They were all dark and sexy and had big dicks.
Speaker 1: I was in I love this band. I was in
Speaker 1: a dream one would be in me and the other
Speaker 1: one would be beating their meats and meats. I gave
Speaker 1: Tay head once. Well, one of the guys was behind me,
Speaker 1: and that was different. This was my first multiples encounter. Well, girl,
Speaker 1: you jumped in. Let's just go, let's just go cam base.
Speaker 1: It had a few threesomes after this, but this was new. Afterwards, afterwards,
Speaker 1: I was worn out. Everyone left the room but me
Speaker 1: and Tay. But me and Tay, and we knocked out.
Speaker 1: I woke up in a few hours later and went
Speaker 1: back to my condo. Told my friends I fucked Ay
Speaker 1: and that's it. Aren't you happy? We're your friends now.
Speaker 1: After that trip, Kyle started dating one of my friend's
Speaker 1: friends who was on that trip with me, and I
Speaker 1: never to this day told her he was a part
Speaker 1: of the training with me. Oh my god. They are
Speaker 1: married with two kids, and I was at the wedding
Speaker 1: laughing my ass off. Yolo, whoa, that was really good.
Speaker 2: I mean, that's actually a bomb hoary. Finally someone comes
Speaker 2: with the fucking shits. Oh, and you know what I'm
Speaker 2: all about.
Speaker 1: It like, if you feel comfortable, if you don't feel
Speaker 1: like it's rape. Live your mother fucking life.
Speaker 2: If it's safe, if it's not rape, if you trust,
Speaker 2: if you feel like there's trust in the room and respect, Like,
Speaker 2: I feel like it sucks that women like women have
Speaker 2: been have been labeled if you have sex with multiple
Speaker 2: guys at the same time, you're you're automatically like a
Speaker 2: slug but nigga Like, but nigga's be requesting threesomes and
Speaker 2: all types of shit on a regular basis, and there
Speaker 2: are no one thinks twice about it.
Speaker 1: So I I feel like we should. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: she fucking loved it. She felt empowered, she was in it,
Speaker 1: she felt comfortable, she was comfortable, like and you know what,
Speaker 1: I kind of love about the stories that she didn't
Speaker 1: tell me about it. I love that she told no
Speaker 1: one except now Toll. The twist is that she went
Speaker 1: to the wedding, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: And I think women are sometimes afraid to admit that
Speaker 2: that's their fantasy. And for a long time for me,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even let the fantasy come into my head,
Speaker 2: Like it was automatically shut off.
Speaker 1: As as Raypie, any type of like any type of
Speaker 1: multiple men. I was like, oh, that's rape.
Speaker 2: But until I saw savages, as you all know, and
Speaker 2: until like I really had to like remove the stigmas
Speaker 2: around what that meant because but.
Speaker 1: I feel like I lived through you a little bit.
Speaker 1: I mean I was a little jealous. I know, like
Speaker 1: you're all chocolate, this sounds like my type of dude,
Speaker 1: and then all haspic dicks I mean ideal and you're
Speaker 1: the main event. That's actually it's pretty king bitch. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then he let any you guys fell asleep together
Speaker 1: and you decided when you wanted to leave, right bye
Speaker 1: bye bye. Well that put me in a better mood,
Speaker 1: it did.
Speaker 3: Actually, thanks, you're right, I'm actually kind of happy now.
Speaker 1: It's not wonderful how liberating, like like sharing honesty and freedom,
Speaker 1: sexual freedom can be. And then that's so great, I mean,
Speaker 1: not that you absolutely have to indulge about, just to
Speaker 1: know like people are out here doing it, enjoying it.
Speaker 1: You may want to be out here enjoying it and
Speaker 1: doing it under good terms too, and knowing that like
Speaker 1: you're not, like you said, like you're not alone, and that.
Speaker 2: People be fucking, people be fucking and people have all
Speaker 2: types of kings, all.
Speaker 1: Types of sex. We literally just found a guy in
Speaker 1: a diaper from Horrible Decisions. Yeah, horrible Wheezy posted or
Speaker 1: that they both put they interviewed him right, yeah, and
Speaker 1: he his kink is that he likes to be treated
Speaker 1: like a baby and diaper. And then and then I
Speaker 1: saw someone comment and I clicked on her and she
Speaker 1: likes to be treated like a baby too. She has
Speaker 1: a pacifier though. He was even posted he's like, sometimes
Speaker 1: I work. He posted a photo and he was like,
Speaker 1: sometimes I wear my diaper depending on how hard the
Speaker 1: workout is, but not.
Speaker 2: Today it was too hard or something I read into. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I saw it. I did, I saw it.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't, I can't. That's not for me.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that did you. I respect for your Absolutely,
Speaker 1: he's peeing in there. That's part of the whole fantasy.
Speaker 1: It's the whole he's.
Speaker 2: A baby, Like I don't want to really change her.
Speaker 1: No, they want And that's like the guy with the
Speaker 1: hinge date I went on and he told me that
Speaker 1: he dated a girl that wanted to be treated like
Speaker 1: a baby too, or a baby girl, a baby doll
Speaker 1: or some shit, and like she would want him to
Speaker 1: tuck him her in at night, and then she like
Speaker 1: kicked the covers off like like a little kid and
Speaker 1: be like ooh sorry, and then he'd have to come
Speaker 1: back and fix them again, and then she'd do it again,
Speaker 1: and then he got really pissed and I'm not doing this.
Speaker 1: And then there was one time where she like came over,
Speaker 1: not probably not one time, probably all the time, but
Speaker 1: she laid on him and he wanted she wanted him
Speaker 1: to like brush her hair, and she kept talking.
Speaker 4: To him like a little bean.
Speaker 1: Stop baby, I mean I do like I like, how
Speaker 1: do you call it? Like play? Like role play. But
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a baby. No, I want
Speaker 1: to be like a realtor or like a lawyer.
Speaker 2: I'll do like high school age, like babysitter, Like I'm
Speaker 2: babysitting your kids like seventeen.
Speaker 1: I don't even have that fantasy. I don't want to
Speaker 1: be like too. Mine are all like occupational. I'm a lawyer,
Speaker 1: I'm a doctor, I'm like a therapist, I am a realtor.
Speaker 1: I work at a coffee shop. Why are all of
Speaker 1: mine like have to do right? Oh my god? Well,
Speaker 1: you know what this all means for everyone. There's just
Speaker 1: so much more of life to explore your kinks.
Speaker 2: You don't really know what you're into until you try it,
Speaker 2: or until you think about it and give it some thought,
Speaker 2: or until you come upon someone you're attracted to who
Speaker 2: does it and.
Speaker 1: Then you're like, hum, yeah, it's really it's bad a
Speaker 1: lot of times.
Speaker 2: And also from the men listening, I don't know if
Speaker 2: this is how that anonymous Susie whatever you call her.
Speaker 1: I don't know if that was like the perfect.
Speaker 2: Way to go about it, five way or whatever that was,
Speaker 2: But I feel like.
Speaker 1: What's the perfect way though, Well, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe should we have discussed this before we all got
Speaker 2: in the room or before she was naked?
Speaker 1: Oh you mean like that wasn't Yeah.
Speaker 2: But at least there was no forcefulness. At least there
Speaker 2: was permission being asked. I think this is so important
Speaker 2: for men, Like that could be a fantasy, but you
Speaker 2: have to really be delicate with the like, you know,
Speaker 2: consent again is a big deal, and not making someone
Speaker 2: you can ruin.
Speaker 1: I like, talking about it before would not have been
Speaker 1: it wouldn't have gone by well, it wouldn't have happened maybe,
Speaker 1: and also it also would have just been to everyone.
Speaker 1: She would have been to in her head, I have
Speaker 1: to make a decision right now. Like she was already hot,
Speaker 1: she was already like ready, she would have been fucking
Speaker 1: you know, like well, I feel like and she felt
Speaker 1: like a connection with him, like they probably he was
Speaker 1: probably really into her, and like she felt safe. Safe. Essentially,
Speaker 1: that's what it comes down is important. I feel like
Speaker 1: it's really that's that's what it comes down to. A
Speaker 1: lot of times, for the most part, at least for me,
Speaker 1: we're not I don't know why I selected Dick. I
Speaker 1: did I feel safe? I'm not sure, or you've just
Speaker 1: felt forny. I just felt like it was forbidden. I
Speaker 1: don't know. Okay, I really have to pee. I have
Speaker 1: to go between tea and mine. Well in the handle, guys,
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys, thanking them.
Speaker 3: Thanks guys, Thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Make sure to subscribe to our newsletter at Good Momsbad
Speaker 1: Choices dot com. Follow us on Instagram Good Moms Underscore,
Speaker 1: Bad Choices. Make sure to check our website for upcoming events.
Speaker 1: And even though we're not doing anymore well, we are
Speaker 1: doing a tour. We are doing a show in La
Speaker 1: March twenty eighth. To be exact, we're super excited. It's
Speaker 1: going to be at the Blackbird Collective in Culver City.
Speaker 1: In Culver City, It's gonna be lit. It's gonna be
Speaker 1: fucking lit. You guys. Listen next. So we haven't had
Speaker 1: a show in La in a year. We are so
Speaker 1: excited to meet all you fucking guys and get a
Speaker 1: little ratchet, get a little ratchet, maybe cry a little bit,
Speaker 1: hold each other clothes, get drunk for the years, and
Speaker 1: turn the fuck up. I'm really excited. It's our to
Speaker 1: your anniversary.
Speaker 2: Yes, so mark your calendars March twenty eighth and go.
Speaker 1: To our link in our bio to buy tickets. Yeah,
Speaker 1: see you there, Bye bye, I go