WEBVTT - Love In All Forms w/ Rodney Norris 0:00:09.480 --> 0:00:13.360 What's up everybody. I'm Gammy and I'm her husband, Rodney, 0:00:13.520 --> 0:00:18.120 and this is positively gam what's happening today, babe? How 0:00:18.160 --> 0:00:21.599 are you? I'm good. I'm better now. Yesterday I was 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:24.799 pretty jet lagged and we you know, I flew in, 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:29.080 we had to do a show, and I was wiped out. Yeah, 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:32.120 So the day I'm feeling a lot better. How about you. 0:00:32.120 --> 0:00:34.560 You know what, I'm struggling a little bit. I'm struggling 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:38.280 a little bit because I am on this journey to 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:42.839 lose this belly fat that I've gained, and I'm on 0:00:43.040 --> 0:00:46.559 this diet. It's it's really just clean eating, but it 0:00:46.640 --> 0:00:52.640 really involves like no added salt, no sugar, all of that. 0:00:52.880 --> 0:00:56.800 And you know, I love sweets and I like salt. 0:00:56.880 --> 0:01:04.280 Like to me, cooking without salt is like you So 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:07.760 I'm the struggle is very real for me in that area. 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:12.960 I'm struggling hardest, the hardest thing. It doesn't the food 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:17.280 doesn't taste like anything without salt to me. Um, And 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:21.080 like you know, I like sweets, I enjoy bread, like 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:25.560 French fries are are my favorite favorite food. And so 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:30.480 eating clean is cutting all of that out. Anything that 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:38.400 I think is tasty pizza, um pie, ice cream, French fries, um, 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:41.479 some bread, you know, every now and again. I mean, 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:44.720 because I typically have a pretty healthy diet, but to 0:01:44.880 --> 0:01:48.400 specifically cut these things out to try to lose this 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:53.120 belly fat is really really challenging at my age, at 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:57.280 sixty eight, trying to lose belly fat. And at the 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.520 end of the day, you can't really lose weight like that. 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:04.320 You can't lose weight in just one area. So then 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:08.440 I'm stuck with the potential of, you know, losing other 0:02:09.080 --> 0:02:12.320 inches in parts of my body that you kind of 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:18.680 enjoy facts and you're doing it and not even you know, 0:02:18.800 --> 0:02:23.600 enjoying it. So but that's your thing. Yeah, you know, 0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:26.640 the struggle is real, that's all I'm saying. I know 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:29.840 people don't believe it, you know, because they see all 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:34.160 these pictures. Those pictures were from five years ago. I 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:37.720 think you look great now, And I mean people see 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:39.400 you on the show, and I see you working out 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:43.400 all the time, and you're posting on Instagram you look fantastic. 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:48.000 Thank you. I'm you know, I'm I'm I'm trying. Yeah, 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:53.919 unlike me, I'm still that diet. Yeah, but you think 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.960 it's the peloton, which I'm excited about that. I'm excited 0:02:58.000 --> 0:03:09.519 that you are investing in yourself. Okay, let's get into 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:12.640 the episode. So today we're going to be discussing some 0:03:12.680 --> 0:03:17.160 relationship headlines in the media. Currently, our first news article 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:20.760 comes from Mind, Body, Green dot com. The article is 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:25.240 titled this one simple and surprising habit can Save a relationship. 0:03:26.280 --> 0:03:28.680 In the article, you may be expecting a tip to 0:03:28.840 --> 0:03:32.919 enhance communication skills or keep the spark alive by venturing 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:39.200 somewhere new, but relationship expert Esther Perel says there's a 0:03:39.360 --> 0:03:43.760 much quicker and simpler way, and that is dancing. I 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:47.760 know that makes you feel good. Well, it doesn't necessarily 0:03:47.800 --> 0:03:50.640 make me feel good. It's just that I've been saying 0:03:50.760 --> 0:03:54.560 that for how long have we been together? That's what 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:56.800 I'm saying. I know that makes you feel good because 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.160 I've been saying this since we first scott together and 0:04:01.160 --> 0:04:05.840 I never doubted that. But but go ahead, you never 0:04:05.880 --> 0:04:11.640 doubted it, but you never really try to. That's not true. 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:15.600 Well yeah you did try, but you just it's not 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:18.479 something that you you you kept up. And the thing 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:23.360 is is that it's the it's the it's the eye connection. 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:29.560 The body connection, the motion, dancing to the music. I mean, 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:36.919 it is very dance can be very sensual, and I 0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:40.240 don't think that a lot of people men in particular 0:04:40.760 --> 0:04:44.279 take advantage of that, Like that is something that most 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:50.080 women really enjoy, particularly if they are dancing with someone 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:54.240 they love. Okay, so do you watch Dancing with the 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:58.400 Stars or dance videos? I watched dance videos all the time, 0:04:58.480 --> 0:05:02.640 but while usually watch stepping videos. So that is the 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:05.320 dance that I'm really really into. And no, I don't 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:09.480 watch Dancing with the Stars because that's not a dance. Yeah, 0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:13.560 that's not that's not that's kind of like performance dancing. 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:17.799 And although it's great, that's not the kind of dance 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:23.599 that is going to um emotionally connect me to anybody. 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:26.120 So I don't expect you to do Dancing with the 0:05:26.160 --> 0:05:36.920 Stars dancing. So how did you feel when you first 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:39.039 tried it out. I feel like you gave up on 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.920 it pretty quickly. To me. That's I've always felt like that. Well, 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:46.920 first of all, I only tried it because you enjoy 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:50.800 doing it, and I don't think I ever really did 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:54.159 it for myself. I was doing for you, yes, And 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:57.279 there's nothing wrong with that. And I and I didn't 0:05:57.800 --> 0:06:00.640 fall in love with it the way you and some 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:03.680 of your friends did when you first encountered it. I 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:07.000 didn't have that experience, so it wasn't a lot of 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:10.560 motivation to continue, although I did take quite a few lessons. 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:14.599 And it's and and there in lies the problem because 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:16.760 you know, growing up, I was a pretty good dancer. 0:06:17.279 --> 0:06:19.479 But typically I go to a party, I see a 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.479 new dance. You do it. I'll watch you. Then I 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:25.040 could do it. I'll do it, you know. But this 0:06:25.120 --> 0:06:27.640 requires you to take a whole lot of lessons and 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:31.279 you gotta like follow all of these rules, and it's 0:06:31.360 --> 0:06:33.680 it's a very I mean, you have to take a 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:37.120 lot of classes to learn how to do it. Then 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:39.640 you got to practice at home, like it's a second 0:06:39.760 --> 0:06:46.719 job almost, and it's not a second job, but you 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:49.120 do part time job, not a second it's a part 0:06:49.120 --> 0:06:51.000 time So to the listeners, if you don't know what 0:06:51.040 --> 0:06:54.920 we're talking about, we're talking about Chicago stepping. Okay, so 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:58.120 let me just say this. That is correct. You do 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.799 have to take lessons and you do have to practice. 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:04.080 And I understand that it's not something that you are 0:07:04.160 --> 0:07:07.080 passionate about, like me, because I'm like obsessed with it. 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:17.120 So yeah, I get it before Chicago stepping, because otherwise 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:21.040 people think we're talking about what they do for the 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:25.640 you know, like you know with the A K S 0:07:25.720 --> 0:07:29.360 or the you know the cues. No, not that, Um, 0:07:29.640 --> 0:07:31.520 I know the point that I was trying to make you. 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:36.880 You were saying that you did it for me, right, Yeah, 0:07:37.000 --> 0:07:41.080 And I get that. But I do that too. I 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:46.600 think I I I learned about basketball, I learned about football, 0:07:46.600 --> 0:07:50.720 I learned about all those things for whatever. I thought 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:54.880 my partner's interest was so that we could have some commonality. 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:57.880 And I think that that's what you do in relationships. 0:07:58.120 --> 0:08:01.480 I agree, and I'm not. I haven't given up on 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:06.840 the possibility of doing it, um, although I did take 0:08:07.080 --> 0:08:11.600 quite a long hiatus, and now I've agreed to try 0:08:12.160 --> 0:08:19.440 try again because I think, Hi, I thought, I thought 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:22.360 that if I tried and I didn't like it, and 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.360 you saw the effort, you would you would let it go. 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:28.400 But you have it like you you're still harassing me 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:31.360 about this. So I gotta go back in. I gotta 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.320 take some classes and at least learn the basics so 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:37.320 we can because you you do a lot of traveling 0:08:37.360 --> 0:08:39.520 with this and it's like a big part of your life, 0:08:39.520 --> 0:08:41.080 and I don't want that to not be a part 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:44.200 of my life as well because it's so important to you. Well, 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:47.800 you know, I think I think that we've talked about 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:53.520 it before, and I'm I'm actually okay. If you decide 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:56.960 that you're that you really don't want to do it, 0:08:57.120 --> 0:08:59.920 I don't think you are. Um, I actually am, because 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:03.880 the thing that you haven't done is stopped me from going. 0:09:04.320 --> 0:09:07.040 You don't stop me from going and dancing and having 0:09:07.240 --> 0:09:09.680 and and going to my step and sets and having 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:12.360 fun with my friends. So as long as it's not 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:16.960 a problem for you, then you know that, then you know, 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:19.400 I don't have a choice but to be cool with it. 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:23.040 You know it is what it is, Okay, So let 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:24.960 me just say this though, even though you may not 0:09:25.080 --> 0:09:27.200 be stepping with me, you did do a couple of 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:30.000 TikTok's with me. So I did that. Yeah, I did 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.200 agree to make a fool out of myself and do 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:35.280 some TikTok. I have another one coming up to you 0:09:35.320 --> 0:09:46.880 to so you know. Okay. Next headline, men are more 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:51.200 heartbroken than women during a breakup study. Say, now, do 0:09:51.320 --> 0:09:54.640 you agree with that, I find that kind of hard 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:57.520 to believe, but that's what the study says. Yeah, I 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.640 kind of find that hard to believe to I think that, 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:05.959 at least from my experiences, men typically don't process their 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:09.439 emotions after a relationship. They kind of just jump right 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:13.079 back into something else and they just go next, kind 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:17.599 of keep it moving, where women tend to stop process 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:21.599 what went wrong, um or at least get that relationship 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:23.920 out of their system before they move on to the 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:30.680 next situation. You know, I'm not so sure that. Well, yeah, yeah, 0:10:30.720 --> 0:10:33.880 that's that. That's true. That's true. I mean I've had 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:40.920 some some breakups that have taken me years to get over. Yeah, years, 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:44.400 and and I kind of and it's not like I'm 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.120 I'm wallowing in it. Well, you know, I think I 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:51.720 would tend to wallow for a little while, and you know, 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:54.839 I would talk about it and kind of mope about it, 0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:59.920 and um. But I think when you are emotionally connect 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:02.680 there was someone like that, and it ends regardless of 0:11:02.720 --> 0:11:06.800 whether it ends poorly, if it's not something that you 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:12.840 that you wanted, you know, like I I would tend 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:19.120 to sit in that unhappiness for a little while, and 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:23.560 it's not as easy to move on, I I don't think. Well, 0:11:23.640 --> 0:11:27.880 I'll also add that typically the person the person who 0:11:28.360 --> 0:11:30.640 who broke up with the other person tends to move 0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:36.000 on faster. Well yeah, and the person who, yeah, yeah, 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:44.280 who you know, was broken up on if that who's 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:48.920 on the receiving ends of the breakup, tends to linger 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:52.000 in that because I mean, they might have felt like 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:56.640 everything was great and now the relationship is over, and 0:11:56.679 --> 0:12:01.840 what's wrong with me that this person didn't see my 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:05.960 value or whatever? And a lot of times, isn't it 0:12:06.040 --> 0:12:09.520 that you've already moved on and that's why you're breaking 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:12.880 up in the first place, because you already got your 0:12:12.880 --> 0:12:16.880 eye on something something else, or you've already moved on 0:12:17.080 --> 0:12:19.560 to somebody else, and now you're just making it official. 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:22.920 Because when I think that I was handling with us 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:27.360 early or when for those in the audience that don't know, 0:12:27.520 --> 0:12:30.680 Rodney and I have a long history. We've been in 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:33.600 each other's lives for many, many years, and we dated 0:12:33.920 --> 0:12:38.480 years and years ago, and I think that's what happened 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:41.760 when we broke up the first time, you know, like 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.679 you already had kind of moved on, and then I 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:48.640 I found out about it and yeah, that's that's just 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.880 how it was. Like I found out about it and 0:12:50.880 --> 0:12:52.640 when I questioned you about it, and you were like, 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.200 you know what, You're right, that is what happened the 0:12:55.200 --> 0:12:59.440 first time. But that's that's not you always the case, 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.600 like something you just emotionally move on with and you 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:06.240 don't have anybody and in mine, you just know that 0:13:06.280 --> 0:13:09.920 you don't want to be at that anymore. Yeah, and 0:13:10.000 --> 0:13:12.640 you just you know, you have a need to get 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:16.559 out of that relationship and be available for something new. Yeah. 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:19.400 But how many times was that the case for you? 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:21.920 And was that always the case for you? Because what 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:24.920 did you have any did you have any breakups in 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:27.840 your life that you really didn't want to happen? I 0:13:27.840 --> 0:13:31.000 would say yes to that, Yeah, I say that. Yeah, 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.600 Well I wasn't always the breakup. I was the breakup 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:41.280 e Yeah, And how did you and how did you 0:13:41.320 --> 0:13:43.440 feel about that? How did you how did you deal 0:13:43.480 --> 0:13:48.200 with that? Because I'm thinking I'm thinking back when you 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:52.040 were much younger. It's the relationship that comes to mind 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:58.480 my head. Um, I mean, like anybody that hurts and 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:00.880 how did you deal with that? Though? Because they're saying 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:09.600 that men that to take it harder. Well, it's tough 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.559 to quantify that, if you know, you can only speak 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:15.400 for yourself. So I don't know how the next guy 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:19.080 felt as in relation to how I felt or the woman, 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:22.160 whether I took it harder than she did. I can 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:26.080 only speak for me. So I mean, yeah, I mean, 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.880 when you're hurt, you feel like well, I guess my 0:14:28.960 --> 0:14:31.760 question is more, how did you respond to it? What 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.960 did you do? Like? I think I think for women, 0:14:35.200 --> 0:14:39.480 I think women we you know, call our girlfriends or 0:14:39.480 --> 0:14:43.000 we we we look to our support systems to help 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:49.080 us get through those feelings. Right, So there's a there's 0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:51.600 there's a support system we I mean, we're just not 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:55.600 sitting home by ourselves like we there's a support system 0:14:55.680 --> 0:15:00.000 that we typically have. Women will talk to their supports 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:03.280 him about this kind of stuff, and I'm not sure 0:15:03.320 --> 0:15:05.520 that that happens. Like when you broke up with the person, 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:08.560 did you call your buddy and say, man, yeah, I 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:11.960 think I'm feeling something. I don't even know what to do. Yeah, definitely, 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:15.080 I think God's God's process like that. I know I 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:19.680 did you know? Really? Yeah for sure, Yeah, I processed 0:15:19.680 --> 0:15:21.680 like that. I'd call I'd call one of my friends 0:15:21.720 --> 0:15:25.920 and we talked about it, UM, and you know, and 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:29.600 typically be like, you know, well, you know you're gonna 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:31.280 get through it. It's not it's not the end of 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:37.320 the world. Might yeah, you you know, you're got some 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:40.360 stuff on the ball. You'll you'll you'll bounce back, You'll 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:47.640 find somebody that whatever the case, you just say, okay, next. No, 0:15:47.800 --> 0:15:52.560 I think I think when I wasn't, when I wasn't 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:57.680 emotionally moving on in those instances, no, I had to, 0:15:57.840 --> 0:16:01.480 I had to sit in process. But when I was, 0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:04.280 when I was the person that was ending the relationship, 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.000 like you said, I was already the ending of the 0:16:08.040 --> 0:16:12.040 relationship was the last phase of it. I was emotionally disconnected, 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:17.240 connected already um in a lot of cases, and then 0:16:17.280 --> 0:16:22.840 the breakup was just the last part of it. Um. 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:28.240 But the need to move on was already cemented in 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:32.520 my mind. Yeah. Did you ever feel like you broke 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:40.240 up with someone and there was not finality to it? 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:43.960 There was, you broke up with them, but you I 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:47.840 felt like that with us the first time. Really, Yes, 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:51.880 Oh that's the first time I'm hearing that. That's interesting 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:58.040 because it ended not on my I mean, it ended 0:16:58.120 --> 0:17:01.160 because you found out that I was seeing someone else, 0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:05.920 truth be told, So it wasn't on my terms. It 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:08.840 wasn't on my so I didn't even have an opportunity 0:17:08.840 --> 0:17:11.439 to process like, Okay, this new person is cool, but 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.760 do I really want to be with her or do 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.360 I wanna? Um? And you know, it was it was other. 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.840 It was other things going on in our relationship at 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:23.600 the time, that was right. So just I mean, people 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:27.200 know that I had I was an addict, and so 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:30.959 that was something that you were pretty tired of dealing 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:32.800 with and you did try to help me in in 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:38.000 that area, but it wasn't working at the time. But um, 0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.960 it's still interesting because I felt like you had already 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:44.920 made that decision. And that's kind of I mean, because 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:50.840 you I probably had at that particular time. I never 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:55.440 got the opportunity to have that conversation or to even 0:17:55.720 --> 0:18:01.800 have that option. M okay, And that yeah, because I 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.760 think when I came to you with it, you know, 0:18:04.920 --> 0:18:10.280 I was, I was, um kind of giving you an ultimatum. 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:12.399 You know, I had the nerve to be trying to 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:15.080 give you an ultimatum about the situation. I mean, I 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:18.399 wasn't nasty about it, but I didn't want to. I 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:22.000 didn't want to share you, you know, and you and 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:25.520 you were like, yeah, okay, well I'm done. I'm done. 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:28.840 And I and I you know, and I had to 0:18:28.840 --> 0:18:31.679 deal with that, you know, I left, and I and 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:34.240 and and I had to I had to deal with that. 0:18:34.560 --> 0:18:36.840 And one thing, this is the one thing I want 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:38.560 to talk about too, well, I don't really want to 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:40.760 talk about I don't want to dwell on it. But 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:45.600 I never felt any kind of way about the other woman, right, 0:18:46.119 --> 0:18:48.439 I never felt any kind of way about her because 0:18:48.720 --> 0:18:51.240 I felt like she like she didn't have anything to 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:54.880 do with it. It was it was between you and I. Yeah, 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:58.000 I'm not sure why people take that me either me 0:18:58.080 --> 0:19:01.040 either and get mad at at the woman or get 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:04.440 mad at the other person, the third party that might 0:19:04.480 --> 0:19:07.840 be involved, because it is the responsibility of the two 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:10.360 people in the relationship. And nine times out of the ten, 0:19:10.760 --> 0:19:12.800 the third party doesn't even know what the fun is 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:16.840 going on, you know, they don't. They don't owe you anything. Yeah, 0:19:17.080 --> 0:19:21.879 they don't, they don't. So I had I had no issue, 0:19:22.280 --> 0:19:25.360 excuse me, issues with that party. But then getting back 0:19:25.359 --> 0:19:30.320 to the topic and off me. Yeah, the topic was 0:19:30.440 --> 0:19:32.640 do you think it's harder for a man to move 0:19:32.680 --> 0:19:35.520 on after relationship. I don't that just has not been 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:39.159 by experience. I don't see it. I don't see it. 0:19:39.240 --> 0:19:44.400 I feel like I feel like men break up and 0:19:44.400 --> 0:19:48.160 and move on. And that goes back to my point 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:51.600 that typically the person who's doing the breaking up going 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:56.000 the breaking up has man old woman man old woman 0:19:56.440 --> 0:20:02.439 has moved on faster than the person that is, so 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:06.080 typically that person tends to stay in it longer, just 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:10.479 based on So then it's not it's not it's not 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:15.359 based on it's not gender it's not gender based. Yeah. Yeah, 0:20:15.480 --> 0:20:18.280 because I knew that that relationship was over. I knew 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:22.000 that that relationship has gone, had gone as far as 0:20:22.040 --> 0:20:25.879 it could go. Basically, Yeah, And here's the hit. A 0:20:25.880 --> 0:20:28.879 lot of times the person that is the other person 0:20:29.000 --> 0:20:34.720 knows it's over too, but out of some either comfortability 0:20:34.840 --> 0:20:39.960 or just not wanting to do any new work, they 0:20:40.000 --> 0:20:43.399 want to stay in it, even if it's toxic, even 0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:48.080 if it's not healthy, even if it's not growing like, 0:20:48.119 --> 0:20:52.240 they will want to remain and in that type of 0:20:52.280 --> 0:20:57.720 relationship and knowing and them knowing too that it's probably 0:20:57.760 --> 0:21:01.760 not or else them not being able to recognize you 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:05.879 know where the you know where the failures are and 0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:09.480 where the disconnect is. They're just not getting it, Like 0:21:09.560 --> 0:21:12.320 you can only go but so far in a relationship 0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:15.560 with someone who is not willing to do the work 0:21:15.680 --> 0:21:20.960 necessary to make the relationship successful. So we I'm gonna 0:21:21.000 --> 0:21:23.040 toss that out to that we should toss that out 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:26.480 to the listeners and and let the listeners respond to 0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:33.000 to what they have thoughts on this. So, um, this 0:21:33.080 --> 0:21:35.680 is something that I'm thinking about because I know that 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:40.679 this was, um a big concern for one of our 0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:44.000 friends that got married around at the same time that 0:21:44.000 --> 0:21:47.960 that we got married. Actually um, but one of the 0:21:48.000 --> 0:21:52.480 reasons for them to get married, Uh, for the husband 0:21:53.119 --> 0:21:57.640 was that he did not want to grow old by himself. Right, 0:21:58.400 --> 0:22:02.000 And but I think gets it's also something to think 0:22:02.040 --> 0:22:05.320 about for people. Maybe people don't want to commit because 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:12.080 they don't want to end up being a lifelong caregiver. Interesting, 0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:17.879 you know, because you know it's marriages in sickness and 0:22:17.920 --> 0:22:22.280 in health and as you get older, things things come up. 0:22:22.960 --> 0:22:27.600 You know that you look one way, or you can 0:22:27.720 --> 0:22:29.640 turn around. I could turn around and have a heart 0:22:29.640 --> 0:22:32.840 attack tomorrow and you're my husband. You would be responsible 0:22:32.880 --> 0:22:38.040 for me, and if you're in a relationship, you don't 0:22:38.040 --> 0:22:42.320 think that people would step up, And um, I would 0:22:42.400 --> 0:22:45.960 hope that people would, but they're not. They're they're not 0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:52.760 obligated to. They're not legally obligated to. So I don't 0:22:52.800 --> 0:22:56.480 know that, but I would be like, that's pretty sucky 0:22:56.640 --> 0:23:00.800 if you just now that there's sick, it's involved, you 0:23:00.840 --> 0:23:03.400 want to cut out, Like that's not much of a 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:08.199 commitment and that's not much of a relationship. Yeah, but 0:23:08.240 --> 0:23:10.119 I get that though, I mean, you didn't sign on 0:23:10.320 --> 0:23:14.359 to be a lifeline caregiver like you would. You would 0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:17.280 help them and support them, but it's not your place 0:23:17.359 --> 0:23:19.880 to make sure that everything is in place for them. 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:24.760 That's that's not your role. Yeah, so I kind of 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:27.800 get that. I mean, if somebody wanted to take that route, 0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:37.920 I wouldn't be mad at him for that. I'm gonna 0:23:37.960 --> 0:23:40.320 turn the tables a little bit because we've kind of 0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:44.160 been focusing on our age group, So I'm gonna turning 0:23:44.200 --> 0:23:47.239 around a little bit and just talk about how, you know, 0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:53.080 it's actually relationships are actually challenging even for younger people 0:23:53.119 --> 0:23:57.000 these days, not only because of COVID and the pandemic. 0:23:57.119 --> 0:24:01.480 But just because I think, UM, you know, times are changing, 0:24:02.320 --> 0:24:06.399 and I think younger people and I don't know that 0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:09.479 it was that much different for us, that younger people 0:24:09.720 --> 0:24:14.120 want something different. I think, you know, younger people see 0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:18.640 that the standard or typical or what the norms are 0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:24.520 for relationship with societal norms have been for relationships UM 0:24:24.840 --> 0:24:28.720 have not been working all that great, and I think 0:24:28.760 --> 0:24:34.560 young people want something different, and so trying to figure 0:24:34.600 --> 0:24:39.119 out what your relationships are and what kind of relationships 0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:44.120 you want UM has been challenging. I mean I see 0:24:44.119 --> 0:24:46.800 it with my own grandkids. I think you see it 0:24:46.840 --> 0:24:51.560 with with your with your kids, how they're struggling to 0:24:53.000 --> 0:24:57.400 UM make their relationships work and find relationships that are 0:24:57.440 --> 0:25:01.440 meaningful for them. Is that any different from when we 0:25:01.440 --> 0:25:04.000 were at that age, though, I don't know. I think 0:25:04.040 --> 0:25:05.960 we talked about it a little bit in the beginning 0:25:06.000 --> 0:25:09.040 that I wanted what I saw that my parents had, 0:25:09.680 --> 0:25:13.040 you know, and that was just commitment. And even though 0:25:13.080 --> 0:25:16.679 my parents showed love differently, my parents didn't show a 0:25:16.720 --> 0:25:22.320 lot of physical love UM. They weren't demonstrative in in 0:25:22.440 --> 0:25:26.000 their love in that way between with each other in 0:25:26.040 --> 0:25:29.680 front of us UM. And how they showed love to us, 0:25:29.760 --> 0:25:32.359 but we knew that we were loved, and we knew 0:25:32.880 --> 0:25:36.880 that they loved and were totally committed to each other. Um. 0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:39.680 It's just how they demonstrated it back and those days 0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:43.640 was different than you know, than what we see now. UM. 0:25:44.119 --> 0:25:46.879 But I think you know, younger people today are like 0:25:47.119 --> 0:25:51.200 they seeing people divorce and fighting for us and carry 0:25:51.200 --> 0:25:53.440 on in it, and they don't want it, and they 0:25:53.480 --> 0:25:57.119 don't they don't believe that monogamy works. I think a 0:25:57.160 --> 0:26:00.879 lot of people don't. Like when we grew up, everybody 0:26:00.960 --> 0:26:04.040 had a mother and father and a lot of there's 0:26:04.119 --> 0:26:08.280 there's a lot of single, single parent households now more 0:26:08.359 --> 0:26:10.199 so than ever before. So I think a lot of 0:26:10.200 --> 0:26:13.760 people seeing that um or growing up in that environment 0:26:14.040 --> 0:26:18.600 unlike what we were exposed to. UM. Although I didn't 0:26:18.600 --> 0:26:24.959 have that same loving I didn't see my parents like 0:26:25.240 --> 0:26:27.679 loving on each other. I mean, we knew we were loved. 0:26:27.880 --> 0:26:30.639 I wasn't sure they loved each other, but they stayed 0:26:30.680 --> 0:26:34.680 together for over what fifty years sixty But there was 0:26:34.720 --> 0:26:38.600 a demonstration. They showed their love by their commitment to 0:26:38.640 --> 0:26:41.240