WEBVTT - Ep. 134: Better a $400 lesson than $4,000 lesson

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, Hi, it's fifty and I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>we always forget, like, wait, isn't what we're supposed to say? Hi? Hey,

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<v Speaker 1>how is everyone today? Ah? So, oh, it's the day

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<v Speaker 1>before fourth of July, but if you're listening to it's

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<v Speaker 1>probably the fourth or a half there.

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<v Speaker 2>How are you fourth of July?

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<v Speaker 1>Are you going to do anything?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well we are. Like I mentioned, we're doing our

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<v Speaker 2>annual glamping trip with some friends, which doesn't even deserve

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<v Speaker 2>to be called glamping. We're just renting a house. So

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<v Speaker 2>but we don't leave until Thursday morning, So I guess

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<v Speaker 2>I just have a day off tomorrow. I'm gonna try

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<v Speaker 2>and take it off, but something tells me I'm gonna

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<v Speaker 2>have to work in the morning, just a little bit,

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<v Speaker 2>just because I can. I kind of I'm okay with

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<v Speaker 2>working even though you're supposed to be off, if it

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<v Speaker 2>means when you come back on Monday that you'll be

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<v Speaker 2>a little less stressed.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, so you're gonna take the whole So you guys

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<v Speaker 1>get Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm taking Thursday and Friday off. No, we don't get

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<v Speaker 2>it off. Although if you work for the government, apparently

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<v Speaker 2>you get out early on the day before the fourth, like,

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<v Speaker 2>Husbey was home at two o'clock, text to me, like,

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<v Speaker 2>what's for dinner?

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<v Speaker 1>No, like, you tell me you're home first?

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<v Speaker 2>I know. I'm like, why they let you out of

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<v Speaker 2>school early?

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<v Speaker 1>Go, that's exactly what it feels like.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, next thing, I know, He's like, I broke the

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<v Speaker 2>pipe to the sink. Oh god, that's great, my problem.

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<v Speaker 1>Right exactly. No, Well, Superman, I'm like, did they Well

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<v Speaker 1>they have obviously off on tomorrow, but I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>If they have the rest of the week off, that

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<v Speaker 1>would be awesome. But I'm headed to Essence Fest this weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>That's right? And is that going to be Superman going

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<v Speaker 2>with you? Is that your your honeymoon? I mean, not

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<v Speaker 2>your honeymore in your anniversary.

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<v Speaker 1>He honestly does not like the Mega crown. So no.

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<v Speaker 1>But I'm happy because Adrina, my best friend, will be there.

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<v Speaker 1>She's got two of her clients that are speaking in

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<v Speaker 1>Essen's best but also my sister Tracy and Lisa are coming,

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<v Speaker 1>so that'll be fun girl's trips exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait no, wait, that was a pun, But I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>mean it to be a pun.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah I know. No. Yeah, So I'm excited because it'll

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<v Speaker 1>be a nice, fun time And I think the headliner,

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<v Speaker 1>isn't it Janna Jackson? Miss Jackson, If you're nasty, I.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't even know what's happening in the world. Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>think Janna Jackson's she's like getting her due finally. I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like many we did, the internet, the entertainment industry

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<v Speaker 2>did her so dirty. I feel like it's finally time

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<v Speaker 2>for Janet to just get her due. Didn't she Like

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<v Speaker 2>she got the Life Time Achievement Award at some award show. Recently,

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<v Speaker 2>she's been on tour, she's been killing it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know what they're doing with poor jam I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>the thing is, she definitely has had her like whooh

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<v Speaker 1>jet it. She's like, you know, like before Beyonce was

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<v Speaker 1>on the scene. So it's not that they've never recognized her,

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<v Speaker 1>but after that whole Nipplegate.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, but it's not there.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, especially since Justin Timberlake has gone on to like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, no, I agree, I agree. So any well,

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<v Speaker 1>I'll give you some update on the house socks. Just

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<v Speaker 1>before we started taping today, Superman was livid because we

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<v Speaker 1>got a dumpster, and normally dumpsters go anywhere between I

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<v Speaker 1>guess like six to eight hundred dollars for a dumpster,

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes a little more. And so we got a dumpster.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like, I FO had a good one. This one's

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<v Speaker 1>five hundred dollars. And I was like, oh, that sounds good, right,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I don't know, I'm not familiar with dumpster prices.

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<v Speaker 1>And so we got it. You know, he didn't even

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<v Speaker 1>really fill it up because honestly, we didn't have that much.

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<v Speaker 1>It was mostly wood and so it wasn't super full,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, they took it away. We thought everything

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<v Speaker 1>was great, and so we got another bill for like

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<v Speaker 1>four hundred and fifty dollars via email and saying that

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<v Speaker 1>like the dumpster was over by four tons, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>that seems odd for a non full dumpster. So I'm

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<v Speaker 1>realizing now. I didn't get a chance to take a

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<v Speaker 1>look at the company online, but I'm I'm I probably

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<v Speaker 1>wouldn't be surprised that that's their gotcha gotcha that they

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<v Speaker 1>get you with this low price and then they hit

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<v Speaker 1>everybody with the extra. Hey, psych thought you had to deal.

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<v Speaker 1>So I just told Superman, call your credit card company

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<v Speaker 1>before they charge you. They've already charged the initial five hundred,

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<v Speaker 1>call your credit card company and be like, don't allow

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<v Speaker 1>this charge to come through because it's fraudulent, and they're

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<v Speaker 1>trying to because how you're gonna tell us we went

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<v Speaker 1>over there's no like, where's the proof. It's not like

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<v Speaker 1>they take you to the measuring site and then they

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<v Speaker 1>put something else in the wording where it's like and

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<v Speaker 1>and even when we when we drop it off at

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<v Speaker 1>the at the waste whatever landfill, it might be even

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<v Speaker 1>more expensive because they might say it's more. I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>we're not doing all this, so you just won't be

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<v Speaker 1>allowed to charge our cards. So yeah, it was just

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<v Speaker 1>like it's just a learning lesson about like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>the cheapest is not always the best obviously, and then

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<v Speaker 1>to do like we really typically we do our due diligence.

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<v Speaker 1>But Superman is new to the review to the review game,

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<v Speaker 1>so he's just looking like, oh, okay, but I'm always

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<v Speaker 1>all about the reviews. I don't care what your mom said,

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<v Speaker 1>your sister said, I want to see the stars online,

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<v Speaker 1>like how many stars you have? And I want to

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<v Speaker 1>read the one star reviews? What did they say about you?

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<v Speaker 1>You're a thief? Not in my house?

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<v Speaker 2>So you let Superman pick the dumpster people.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>See, I'm a little too. I'm a little micromanagy And

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<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry to Husby, but like I I want to

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<v Speaker 2>read the reviews myself and I want to do I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, I'm just like a little OCD about vetting

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<v Speaker 2>everybody we talked to, and like Husby is always like yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we're good, We're good, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>Like we just got our we just chose our contractor

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<v Speaker 2>it was a classic case of goldilocks, Like the first

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<v Speaker 2>bid was too high, the other bid was too low

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<v Speaker 2>and they were also mean to us, and the second

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<v Speaker 2>bid was just right. We had a good feeling, he

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<v Speaker 2>had great reviews, we both liked him. Blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 2>His his bid, while not the lowest, was reasonable and

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<v Speaker 2>he seemed very like straightforward about everything. But when I

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<v Speaker 2>got the actual contract, it was like the dinkiest little paragraph,

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<v Speaker 2>which basically was like a fancier email than what he

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<v Speaker 2>had sent us with the original bid, like we'll do

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<v Speaker 2>XYZ for this much money, it'll take this much time.

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<v Speaker 2>It had like the essential information, but it didn't look

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<v Speaker 2>to me like any sort of legally binding contract should

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<v Speaker 2>where it didn't have anything about what happens if you

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<v Speaker 2>don't complete the job and what happens if we stopped

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<v Speaker 2>paying you. You know, there wasn't that protection for both sides.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I did some research into what a contract

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<v Speaker 2>should you know. First I texted a couple of friends

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<v Speaker 2>I know who have recently done renovations, and they were

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<v Speaker 2>both like, our contract was ten pages long. Meanwhile mine

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<v Speaker 2>was like five hundred words. So I went on Angie's

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<v Speaker 2>list and they had a nice little explainer on what

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<v Speaker 2>a contract should include. And actually he had the key essentials.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just very like bare bones. But what we

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<v Speaker 2>were missing, though, is something really important that I asked

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<v Speaker 2>him to add and he said, okay, which is alien elite.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't say this word right lean release L I

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<v Speaker 2>E N. And what can happen if you don't have

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<v Speaker 2>this is like, so your your general contractor is going

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<v Speaker 2>to hire an electrician, a plumber, HVAC person like the

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<v Speaker 2>trade people working under him, and then he's going to

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<v Speaker 2>be the one paying them. Okay, if they do a

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<v Speaker 2>project on your house and the contractor doesn't pay them,

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<v Speaker 2>they could have a case against you and sue you

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<v Speaker 2>put a lien on your house and then say you

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<v Speaker 2>owe them money. Yeah. So I checked our my husband's

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<v Speaker 2>a cousin's recent home improvement contract and they had a

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<v Speaker 2>lean release. So I emailed him and I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>we need to add this language to the contract and

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<v Speaker 2>also a couple other things. And now I'm just like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, like we went from kind of being like

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<v Speaker 2>totally set on someone and now we have another delay

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<v Speaker 2>because we need to get this contract in shape.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, no, it's worth it though, And honestly, normally when

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<v Speaker 1>it comes to all the other things, I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>it's just the dumpster. What's the harm.

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<v Speaker 2>Can whatever?

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<v Speaker 1>Like you know, understand because all the other things, I

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<v Speaker 1>was like okay, no, ok yeah, okay, no, okay yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>And like I was showing him like okay, like because

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<v Speaker 1>he was like, oh my god, I saw people across

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<v Speaker 1>the street were getting floors done. I got the name

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<v Speaker 1>of the guy. We should get them. I'm like, well, no,

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<v Speaker 1>that's not how that works. So yeah, I mean, we

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<v Speaker 1>live and we learned. I just saw him, don't I know.

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<v Speaker 1>He was like really upset about it, because I get it.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody wants to feel like they're ripped off, so I

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<v Speaker 1>just feel like, you know, it's a it's a good

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<v Speaker 1>It's better a four hundred dollars lesson than a four thousand.

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<v Speaker 2>Dollars lesson, sister friend.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, so we're learning.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's as that's cool. Another pro tip is, don't

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<v Speaker 2>spray weed killer on your if you have like a

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<v Speaker 2>walkway or something, you know, because weeds pop out of

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<v Speaker 2>the cracks of like the bricks or whatever. Husby got

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<v Speaker 2>super excited about this, like industrial strength weed killer, which

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<v Speaker 2>he which worked killed the weeds in the sidewalk, but

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<v Speaker 2>then the next day it rained and it washed the

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<v Speaker 2>toxic weed killer into the grass, and now like half

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<v Speaker 2>our yard is brown. Like okay, I just know everyone

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<v Speaker 2>passes by our house and they're like, oh, there's the newbies.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like we're learning.

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<v Speaker 2>There goes those kids.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, we've got we've got to shout out the

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<v Speaker 1>social streets real quick.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, give us a chance. We were getting there.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, I was, you know, I was like, what

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<v Speaker 1>did we do it? Do we do it earlier on

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<v Speaker 1>or do we want to do it after we chit chat?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you know, I mean we're the boss. Yeah, Well,

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<v Speaker 2>now you brought it up, so it would be awkward

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<v Speaker 2>if we didn't do it now because now they're like, ooh,

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<v Speaker 2>talk about me, talk about me. There was a lot

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<v Speaker 2>of fun stuff I posted this weekend. We had. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>there was the news last week of the upset in

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<v Speaker 2>the Bronx and Queens where a twenty eight year old

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<v Speaker 2>candidate for Congress was beat the incumbent Democrat who had

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<v Speaker 2>been in office for a couple of decades. She's twenty

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<v Speaker 2>eight years old. Her name is Alexandria Cossio Cortes, and

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<v Speaker 2>she's of Puerto Rican descent. Dope she that that news

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<v Speaker 2>came out. Then over the weekend there were all those protests,

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<v Speaker 2>the Families Belonged Together protests to support immigrants at the

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<v Speaker 2>border whose family whose children were taken away from them.

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<v Speaker 2>Something like two thousand kids were taken and I think

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<v Speaker 2>several hundred kids still haven't been reunited with their family.

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<v Speaker 2>So those protests happened. I missed the boat on that.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, man, I blame Gmail because they sent

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<v Speaker 2>my aclu email alert to like my promotions tab, which

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<v Speaker 2>no one checks that tab. But I like woke up

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<v Speaker 2>on Sunday and I was like, everybody is at this

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<v Speaker 2>freaking protest anyway. And then I posted about Maxine Waters

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<v Speaker 2>Mama Maxine, who is quickly becoming like she's always been

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<v Speaker 2>a living legend. But it's just I love that she's

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<v Speaker 2>having her She's like a social media me icon now.

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<v Speaker 2>But apparently she's been getting really serious death threats and

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<v Speaker 2>she had to cancel a rally. And this was in

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<v Speaker 2>response to her speaking out against what's happening at the

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<v Speaker 2>border right now. And her response to the death threats

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<v Speaker 2>was pretty bad, badass.

0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:10.280
<v Speaker 1>Why she said, if you won't shoot shoot straight.

0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:14.120
<v Speaker 2>Straight, So where's a T shirt coming out? Is what

0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:14.560
<v Speaker 2>I need to know.

0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you already know, like between between we'reclaiming my time

0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:21.760
<v Speaker 1>and it shoot straight that those are epic T shirts.

0:11:22.000 --> 0:11:24.160
<v Speaker 2>I love our I love the responses to that. I'm

0:11:24.160 --> 0:11:26.800
<v Speaker 2>going to read all of them. First of all, y'all

0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:30.120
<v Speaker 2>need to have some easier Instagram names. First of all,

0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:33.000
<v Speaker 2>if these kings Ka Tuk says that she's a mighty force,

0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Lady Lady seven oh one said the Blood of Jesus

0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:39.640
<v Speaker 2>for hand, prayer, hand prayer and prayer hand he fottoed

0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:42.400
<v Speaker 2>Ju said, Wow, this gave me chills. Racer Back twenty

0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:44.360
<v Speaker 2>nine called her a force to be reckoned with, and

0:11:44.480 --> 0:11:48.439
<v Speaker 2>Liz Liz F. Dickinson sums it up nicely with inspiration

0:11:49.400 --> 0:11:50.280
<v Speaker 2>lit Heart.

0:11:51.080 --> 0:11:55.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh and if you if you're not following us on Insta,

0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:59.679
<v Speaker 1>you need to be. Our Instagram is Brown Ambition Podcast

0:12:00.480 --> 0:12:02.320
<v Speaker 1>and I'm just gonna do one shout out on Twitter

0:12:02.440 --> 0:12:06.679
<v Speaker 1>to Ksey with all the Eyes and her Twitter name

0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.760
<v Speaker 1>is Casey two Eyes dough o k C Doe Okay

0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:13.000
<v Speaker 1>girl d o E. She said, super grateful for the

0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.280
<v Speaker 1>for the b A podcast and all I've learned from them.

0:12:16.760 --> 0:12:20.000
<v Speaker 1>Hashtag we love sisters who help other sisters star star

0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:25.280
<v Speaker 1>star Yes, Ksey c E. No, honestly, yes, I loved.

0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:27.680
<v Speaker 1>We love that we help you and we love that

0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:32.040
<v Speaker 1>you listen. And if you're wanting to tag, just for

0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.319
<v Speaker 1>us to shout you out on Twitter or on Instagram

0:12:34.400 --> 0:12:39.200
<v Speaker 1>or either on Facebook. Our name on Twitter is at

0:12:39.679 --> 0:12:43.439
<v Speaker 1>the b A Podcast. That's at the BA Podcast and

0:12:43.480 --> 0:12:58.240
<v Speaker 1>again on Instagram briand Ambition Podcast. Oh so are you

0:12:58.280 --> 0:12:59.640
<v Speaker 1>ready to boost their break?

0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.960
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna do a booze this week.

0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:08.000
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm going to do a light break, just.

0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.719
<v Speaker 2>A light like a like a spring. Yeah, it's more

0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:11.640
<v Speaker 2>like a Sprain like.

0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:13.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's like serious, like nothing, you know, no politics

0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.040
<v Speaker 1>or nothing, just a little just a little break.

0:13:15.920 --> 0:13:17.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, go for it.

0:13:17.800 --> 0:13:22.080
<v Speaker 1>So my break is this sporadic behind weather. I mean,

0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:25.160
<v Speaker 1>oh god, I woke up this morning to go to

0:13:25.160 --> 0:13:28.240
<v Speaker 1>the gym. It was legit like five forty five six

0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:32.040
<v Speaker 1>am outside and it felt like one pm. I'm like, why, man,

0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:35.040
<v Speaker 1>I mother nature? And it's like literally, not even a

0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:37.480
<v Speaker 1>week ago, it was freezing at night and now it's

0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:40.800
<v Speaker 1>like unbearably hot. It's just I mean, I know we

0:13:40.840 --> 0:13:43.000
<v Speaker 1>all wish for summer when winter comes in, the snow

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:46.040
<v Speaker 1>is here, but I'm just looking for a reasonable summer.

0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:47.760
<v Speaker 1>Why does it have to feel like New Orleans out here?

0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:50.640
<v Speaker 1>It's just this heat? And then we had a flash

0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:52.760
<v Speaker 1>flooding today. I was like, so, what is really happening?

0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:55.960
<v Speaker 1>What's really happening? I know that it's what is it?

0:13:56.080 --> 0:13:58.560
<v Speaker 1>Uh No? What do they say that they that the

0:13:58.679 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 1>Republicans say, don't doesn't this clout?

0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:02.160
<v Speaker 2>Global warming?

0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:05.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Global warming? Shame?

0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:08.440
<v Speaker 2>What's that thing that like science says it's real, but

0:14:08.559 --> 0:14:10.120
<v Speaker 2>like conservatives say it's not real?

0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:12.160
<v Speaker 1>Like, oh, global warming?

0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:15.079
<v Speaker 2>She said on a melting iceberg.

0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:18.880
<v Speaker 1>I know, so yeah, I'm kind of over it, so

0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:23.239
<v Speaker 1>that's just my my light break is just this unbearable

0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:25.040
<v Speaker 1>heat that we're going through. I'm hoping that this flash

0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:28.480
<v Speaker 1>flooding that we had today will help to alleviate some

0:14:28.560 --> 0:14:29.320
<v Speaker 1>of this heat.

0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:31.920
<v Speaker 2>I was gonna do a boost today really quick for

0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:35.240
<v Speaker 2>my moviegoers out there. I signed up for a movie

0:14:35.280 --> 0:14:38.760
<v Speaker 2>past like five or six years ago when it first launched.

0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:39.960
<v Speaker 2>Have you heard a movie pass?

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:41.240
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I have.

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.280
<v Speaker 2>For anyone who watches more than one or two movies

0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:46.840
<v Speaker 2>a month, you should know about movie Past. Movie pass

0:14:47.000 --> 0:14:49.880
<v Speaker 2>is a subscription service where you pay nine ninety five

0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:51.840
<v Speaker 2>a month. Now this is what it is now, nine

0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:53.560
<v Speaker 2>ninety five a month, and you can go and see

0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:56.360
<v Speaker 2>one movie a day at most theaters, like they have

0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 2>most of the major theaters in the country. But you

0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:00.920
<v Speaker 2>can go to moviepass dot com and like put in

0:15:00.920 --> 0:15:02.680
<v Speaker 2>your zip code and see if there's theaters near you

0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.440
<v Speaker 2>and see if it's worth it. What's funny is that

0:15:05.480 --> 0:15:07.880
<v Speaker 2>I signed up in twenty thirteen, way way way back when,

0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:11.280
<v Speaker 2>because I was a personal finance reporter, a business insider,

0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:12.880
<v Speaker 2>and they were this new company and I wrote a

0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:14.760
<v Speaker 2>story about them, and I was like, cool, I'll try that.

0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.920
<v Speaker 2>Back then it was thirty five dollars a month, like what,

0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:19.960
<v Speaker 2>which at the time, I mean, it still is a

0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.080
<v Speaker 2>good deal because like tickets in New York. I know

0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:24.560
<v Speaker 2>in other places it's not that bad, but like movie

0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:26.520
<v Speaker 2>tickets in New York are canna be fifteen to seventeen

0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:30.040
<v Speaker 2>dollars for a regular ass movie, not even like three D.

0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:35.920
<v Speaker 2>No snacks included, no reclining chairs, like a bare minimum.

0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.080
<v Speaker 2>So you know, if I was and I love seeing movies,

0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:41.280
<v Speaker 2>so for me, even at thirty five dollars, it was

0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:42.880
<v Speaker 2>worth it because I would go to see like a

0:15:42.880 --> 0:15:45.960
<v Speaker 2>movie a week. But now it's it's definitely worth it

0:15:46.000 --> 0:15:49.040
<v Speaker 2>if you're looking to sign up, and other companies are

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.880
<v Speaker 2>taking notice. I just read that AMC, the theater chain,

0:15:53.000 --> 0:15:55.720
<v Speaker 2>is starting their own version of this, like a subscription service.

0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I think it's nineteen ninety five a month. But for

0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.640
<v Speaker 2>anyone is looking to beat the heat and go watch

0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:05.480
<v Speaker 2>a movie this summer, I recommend Movie Past. And I'm

0:16:05.520 --> 0:16:10.040
<v Speaker 2>saying that with a touch of saltiness because I decided

0:16:10.040 --> 0:16:12.120
<v Speaker 2>to take a break from my membership because we were

0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:15.160
<v Speaker 2>moving and I wasn't going I wasn't using it like

0:16:15.200 --> 0:16:18.120
<v Speaker 2>I like, I usually did, only to find out if

0:16:18.160 --> 0:16:21.080
<v Speaker 2>you cancel it you have to wait a year before

0:16:21.120 --> 0:16:21.960
<v Speaker 2>you can get back on it.

0:16:22.800 --> 0:16:25.600
<v Speaker 1>So wow, that's how they get you.

0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:26.520
<v Speaker 2>Read the fine print.

0:16:26.880 --> 0:16:29.880
<v Speaker 1>That's smart marketing. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how

0:16:29.880 --> 0:16:31.880
<v Speaker 1>much fan marketing, but it's certainly smart marketing.

0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:34.560
<v Speaker 2>I mean, it was in the fine print. But I

0:16:34.600 --> 0:16:36.720
<v Speaker 2>was just I was just trying to dip in, dip out,

0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:39.760
<v Speaker 2>I understand. I mean nine ninety five. It's kind of

0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:42.720
<v Speaker 2>like the cost of you know, I don't know Spotify

0:16:42.840 --> 0:16:45.320
<v Speaker 2>or Hulu or whatever, So it's not that much. It's

0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:47.840
<v Speaker 2>not like expensive gym membership that if you don't use

0:16:47.880 --> 0:16:49.800
<v Speaker 2>it a month, like if you go and see at

0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 2>least two three movies a month, I think.

0:16:52.000 --> 0:16:55.000
<v Speaker 1>No, even Dan, that's it's totally worth it. Speaking of movies,

0:16:55.000 --> 0:16:56.640
<v Speaker 1>when what's the last one you've seen?

0:16:57.520 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh gosh, I see a lot of movies. I think

0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:02.440
<v Speaker 2>the last what I saw was I haven't seen Oceans

0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.280
<v Speaker 2>eight yet because I'm waiting to go with a girlfriend

0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:07.240
<v Speaker 2>and we just haven't been able to do it. But

0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:11.679
<v Speaker 2>I saw the new Star Wars movie with Khalisi okay

0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:14.480
<v Speaker 2>from Game of Thrones is I I just love Khalisi.

0:17:15.720 --> 0:17:18.360
<v Speaker 2>I saw we had Donald Glover in it.

0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:21.080
<v Speaker 1>Incredible tude. I know, I like Donald Glove with two.

0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:24.240
<v Speaker 1>That actually was Incredibles two was good because I loved

0:17:24.240 --> 0:17:26.520
<v Speaker 1>The Incredibles one. So it was just really like I

0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:29.560
<v Speaker 1>loved it because it was very woman powerish. So I'm

0:17:29.640 --> 0:17:32.040
<v Speaker 1>just like, this is good. I like it. Plus, it's

0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:33.680
<v Speaker 1>just a good you know, that's just a it's a great,

0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:37.879
<v Speaker 1>a great uh franchise, The Incredibles.

0:17:37.920 --> 0:17:40.960
<v Speaker 2>So I haven't seen that one. I love Cocoa. Wait

0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:43.040
<v Speaker 2>is that Disney? What's the Incredibles?

0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:47.000
<v Speaker 1>I think I want to say Disney Pixar. Yeah, I

0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:49.359
<v Speaker 1>feel like it's Pixar, but you know, don't don't quote

0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:51.159
<v Speaker 1>me on that. But definitely I'm supergirl because you know,

0:17:51.280 --> 0:17:54.520
<v Speaker 1>she's thirty five. She was like, hey, I really want

0:17:54.520 --> 0:17:58.600
<v Speaker 1>to see Oceans eight. I'm like, are you like? I

0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:00.720
<v Speaker 1>was like, is that PG? Thirteen? She looked at me

0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:03.439
<v Speaker 1>like what are you asking? I'm like, you know what,

0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:05.159
<v Speaker 1>I can't. I can't.

0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:08.360
<v Speaker 2>So, yeah, so did you see it with her?

0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.719
<v Speaker 1>No? I'm like, she's not going to see Oh shit,

0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:12.359
<v Speaker 1>I mean I'm.

0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:13.560
<v Speaker 2>Presant be incredible.

0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:16.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh incredible? Oh yeah, no, no, she her mom took

0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:17.680
<v Speaker 1>her to see The Incredibles, which is more your speed,

0:18:17.720 --> 0:18:19.800
<v Speaker 1>young lady. Meanwhile, with a doll baby in her hand.

0:18:20.160 --> 0:18:22.480
<v Speaker 1>Do you remember that age when you were like one

0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:24.480
<v Speaker 1>foot where you still kind of had doll babies, but

0:18:24.520 --> 0:18:27.280
<v Speaker 1>then the other foot where you were like, Yeah, it's

0:18:27.320 --> 0:18:29.080
<v Speaker 1>a weird age because sometimes you'll catch her she'll be

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:30.560
<v Speaker 1>playing with her doll and I'm like, but I thought

0:18:30.560 --> 0:18:34.000
<v Speaker 1>you were thirty five. And then the other age, you know,

0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:35.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh, yeah, there goes to thirty five year

0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:39.040
<v Speaker 1>old woman. Tell me. So it's just a it's a

0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:41.600
<v Speaker 1>weird spot. She's eleven, she'll be twelve in October. So

0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:43.960
<v Speaker 1>it's like this, like I remember that age where we

0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:46.280
<v Speaker 1>were like wait, I still like like, you know, I'm

0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:48.240
<v Speaker 1>still a kid. Wait, but I want to be an adult,

0:18:48.280 --> 0:18:50.280
<v Speaker 1>but I'm still a kid. So it's a cute but

0:18:50.400 --> 0:18:53.439
<v Speaker 1>frustrated age. And plus she's tall, almost as tall as

0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:55.840
<v Speaker 1>I am now because her father's so tall. So it's

0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:59.320
<v Speaker 1>like it's weird because now, like when we send things

0:18:59.359 --> 0:19:02.080
<v Speaker 1>to the laundry sometimes, like you know, they'll put like

0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:04.320
<v Speaker 1>you know, maybe like her tank top with my things,

0:19:04.359 --> 0:19:07.960
<v Speaker 1>you know, oh I know, And I'm like, oh, put.

0:19:07.800 --> 0:19:10.840
<v Speaker 2>Her in a little time machine times.

0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:13.520
<v Speaker 1>She was so little when I first started dating her father,

0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:15.520
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, she's so tall now, Like she gets like

0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.320
<v Speaker 1>braids and she looks like a little lady and I'm like,

0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:20.960
<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, she looks so pretty. Nats stop growing.

0:19:23.320 --> 0:19:26.560
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, so mm hmm the life of parenting, well,

0:19:27.119 --> 0:19:42.840
<v Speaker 1>at least for me, part time parenting. But yeah, now

0:19:42.920 --> 0:19:47.320
<v Speaker 1>even better news My favorite segment question.

0:19:48.600 --> 0:19:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Okay, questions this week? You guys, you know you can

0:19:50.560 --> 0:19:53.320
<v Speaker 2>reach us at Brown Ambition podcast dot com to send

0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:58.000
<v Speaker 2>answer questions or you gonna h this up at Brown

0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:02.400
<v Speaker 2>Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com, got com. This week,

0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:04.359
<v Speaker 2>we'll take a couple of questions. We have a question

0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:06.919
<v Speaker 2>that's been sitting here for a minute, sorry about it.

0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:09.720
<v Speaker 2>From listener D. She says a friend of mine is

0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:12.520
<v Speaker 2>buying a house for the first time. However, she's taking

0:20:12.600 --> 0:20:14.359
<v Speaker 2>out I love how she's telling on her friend, by

0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.120
<v Speaker 2>the way, so funny. Unless it's not really a friend,

0:20:17.440 --> 0:20:19.520
<v Speaker 2>we'll see anyway. She says, a friend of mine is

0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:21.959
<v Speaker 2>buying a house for the first time. However, she's taking

0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:25.240
<v Speaker 2>twelve thousand dollars out of her IRA for all of

0:20:25.240 --> 0:20:28.400
<v Speaker 2>the associated costs, a down payment, the closing costs, the appraisal.

0:20:28.880 --> 0:20:31.160
<v Speaker 2>The seller is not willing to pay her closing costs.

0:20:31.320 --> 0:20:33.400
<v Speaker 2>I think this is a really bad move, but she's

0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:36.320
<v Speaker 2>hell bent on moving out of her apartment. I even

0:20:36.320 --> 0:20:39.520
<v Speaker 2>suggested walking away and maybe asking the seller to pay

0:20:39.520 --> 0:20:41.639
<v Speaker 2>some of the closing cost What do you think is

0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:45.800
<v Speaker 2>this a major mistake? Maybe some people may not know

0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:49.200
<v Speaker 2>that you can in some cases borrow money from your

0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:51.760
<v Speaker 2>four to one K, which I think is what she's

0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:56.360
<v Speaker 2>talking about, your four to one K for for housing costs.

0:20:56.520 --> 0:20:59.800
<v Speaker 2>It's an option. You can take out a loan, or

0:20:59.800 --> 0:21:03.840
<v Speaker 2>you can can do a distribution. Those are different things.

0:21:03.800 --> 0:21:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Yes, because distribution means that they're going to be taxing

0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:09.840
<v Speaker 1>that money within an inch of its life.

0:21:10.520 --> 0:21:14.880
<v Speaker 2>Yes, So when you take an early distribution, if you're

0:21:14.920 --> 0:21:17.640
<v Speaker 2>under the age of fifty nine and a half, they

0:21:17.640 --> 0:21:20.200
<v Speaker 2>can treat it as if it's ordinary income, which means

0:21:20.200 --> 0:21:21.800
<v Speaker 2>they will tax you on it, and then you can

0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:25.240
<v Speaker 2>also get hit with early withdrawal penalties. But again, like

0:21:25.280 --> 0:21:28.600
<v Speaker 2>if anytime you're dipping into your retirement, you're missing out on,

0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:32.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, future gains that you could potentially, yes, take

0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:34.680
<v Speaker 2>advantage of. So it's never ideal.

0:21:35.040 --> 0:21:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I feel like the thing I feel like, I

0:21:37.640 --> 0:21:41.359
<v Speaker 1>feel where you're coming from, man, because I feel like, well,

0:21:41.760 --> 0:21:44.560
<v Speaker 1>it's not the worst thing she could be doing. It's

0:21:44.600 --> 0:21:46.760
<v Speaker 1>not like she said that she was taking money out

0:21:46.800 --> 0:21:48.840
<v Speaker 1>of her for one K to like, you know, go

0:21:49.960 --> 0:21:52.280
<v Speaker 1>shopping or something, or to buy buy a car or

0:21:52.320 --> 0:21:54.640
<v Speaker 1>buy a brand new car. Then I'd be like, oh, yeah,

0:21:54.680 --> 0:21:57.240
<v Speaker 1>but it's not the worst thing because at home is

0:21:57.320 --> 0:22:01.680
<v Speaker 1>still an investment in this country. It is. But here's

0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:05.160
<v Speaker 1>the thing I think of, Like, has she has she

0:22:05.720 --> 0:22:08.439
<v Speaker 1>explored and exhausted other options. Has she gone to like

0:22:08.480 --> 0:22:11.960
<v Speaker 1>her her city hall and said, hey, are there are

0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:15.240
<v Speaker 1>there like matching options because sometimes like they're like for example,

0:22:15.320 --> 0:22:17.120
<v Speaker 1>like I think I share with you guys. M ANDT

0:22:17.280 --> 0:22:21.520
<v Speaker 1>Bank has like a matching program for first time home buyers.

0:22:21.520 --> 0:22:23.800
<v Speaker 1>Has she looked into NAKA so because there are other

0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:26.320
<v Speaker 1>programs that she might qualify for that I could actually

0:22:26.320 --> 0:22:28.080
<v Speaker 1>could pay for that so she could keep her money

0:22:28.119 --> 0:22:30.680
<v Speaker 1>where it is. And sometimes these programs are like grant

0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:32.760
<v Speaker 1>programs or you don't have to pay it back. So

0:22:33.720 --> 0:22:36.399
<v Speaker 1>I'm not I'm not I'm not one hundred percent opposed

0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:39.399
<v Speaker 1>to taking money out, although it's it should be the

0:22:39.560 --> 0:22:42.199
<v Speaker 1>very very very last choice. If you ask me if

0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:44.320
<v Speaker 1>you're going to go that route, that means you exhausted

0:22:44.560 --> 0:22:47.160
<v Speaker 1>all the other options that you have out there, which

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:48.919
<v Speaker 1>it sounds like that she might not have.

0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:51.280
<v Speaker 2>What we're saying here is a four oh one K loan.

0:22:51.440 --> 0:22:53.480
<v Speaker 2>This is different from just taking money out of your

0:22:53.520 --> 0:22:55.400
<v Speaker 2>four one K, like it's a piggy bank. If you're

0:22:55.520 --> 0:22:57.680
<v Speaker 2>borrowing from your four oh one K, that means you're

0:22:57.720 --> 0:23:00.919
<v Speaker 2>actually going to repay yourself quote quote back to your

0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:04.320
<v Speaker 2>four to one K, So you can borrow up to

0:23:04.520 --> 0:23:07.320
<v Speaker 2>fifty thousand dollars or half the value of your account,

0:23:07.359 --> 0:23:10.119
<v Speaker 2>whichever is less, so long as you're using the money

0:23:10.240 --> 0:23:13.879
<v Speaker 2>to pay for a home purchase, and there's a nominal

0:23:13.920 --> 0:23:16.400
<v Speaker 2>interest rate that you know you'll be charged, but again

0:23:16.400 --> 0:23:18.919
<v Speaker 2>it's sort of paying it to yourself. You do have

0:23:19.000 --> 0:23:22.480
<v Speaker 2>to repay the loan. But the thing is it's a

0:23:22.520 --> 0:23:24.880
<v Speaker 2>four toh one K, which means this is typically it's

0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:28.080
<v Speaker 2>always actually tied to an employer, and if you were

0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:31.080
<v Speaker 2>to lose your job, get fired, or get laid off

0:23:31.160 --> 0:23:34.400
<v Speaker 2>or something like that, that loan could become due within

0:23:34.440 --> 0:23:37.840
<v Speaker 2>the next year. So it's like the entire balance of it.

0:23:37.880 --> 0:23:41.760
<v Speaker 2>So that's the risk if something happens with your employer

0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:44.399
<v Speaker 2>and you don't have enough money to pay off the

0:23:44.440 --> 0:23:46.320
<v Speaker 2>loan in total by the time that they tell you

0:23:46.320 --> 0:23:48.879
<v Speaker 2>had to pay it off, then you could get hit

0:23:48.920 --> 0:23:51.159
<v Speaker 2>with regular taxes and that early withdrawal penalty like we

0:23:51.200 --> 0:23:52.040
<v Speaker 2>talked about earlier.

0:23:52.880 --> 0:23:55.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, because believe me, I think I took out. Oh

0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:57.840
<v Speaker 1>I can't remember how much I took out, like a

0:23:59.000 --> 0:24:01.359
<v Speaker 1>maybe when I lost my job as a teacher and

0:24:01.400 --> 0:24:03.119
<v Speaker 1>I took out the money from my for like I

0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:05.919
<v Speaker 1>drained it and I it was like maybe I had

0:24:05.920 --> 0:24:07.919
<v Speaker 1>fifty thousand dollars in there or something to that effect,

0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:09.840
<v Speaker 1>and I think maybe I got thirty something. So it

0:24:09.880 --> 0:24:12.119
<v Speaker 1>was a lot of money that I lost. So like

0:24:12.240 --> 0:24:15.240
<v Speaker 1>that that the penalty and fees, and it's not a

0:24:15.280 --> 0:24:17.840
<v Speaker 1>small thing. It's a significant amount. I remember feeling like

0:24:17.880 --> 0:24:20.200
<v Speaker 1>it was like basically half of what I had. So

0:24:20.280 --> 0:24:22.919
<v Speaker 1>like I remember that was like I the school I

0:24:22.920 --> 0:24:25.480
<v Speaker 1>worked for didn't match for the like, so all of

0:24:25.520 --> 0:24:28.800
<v Speaker 1>that money was my money that I literally like lost.

0:24:29.160 --> 0:24:34.160
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, it just wasn't a gooddy hit. So yeah,

0:24:34.240 --> 0:24:36.240
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I mean, ultimately your friend is grown, so

0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:38.280
<v Speaker 1>she's gonna make what of her choices that she's going

0:24:38.280 --> 0:24:40.399
<v Speaker 1>to make, but definitely encourage her that, at the very

0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:42.879
<v Speaker 1>least go to her town and ask if there are

0:24:43.040 --> 0:24:44.639
<v Speaker 1>programs that she might qualify for.

0:24:45.040 --> 0:24:47.160
<v Speaker 2>Also, you need to You don't know all the business

0:24:47.160 --> 0:24:49.640
<v Speaker 2>of your friend, obviously, but twelve thousand dollars, if that's

0:24:49.720 --> 0:24:51.800
<v Speaker 2>all of her four a one k or a big

0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:54.000
<v Speaker 2>share of it, then that's a concern because she's kind

0:24:54.000 --> 0:24:56.360
<v Speaker 2>of like wiping out her progress. But if she's got

0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:59.080
<v Speaker 2>a really healthy four one k fun then you know,

0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:02.040
<v Speaker 2>it all kind of depends on the context. But it's

0:25:02.119 --> 0:25:04.000
<v Speaker 2>nice to sweet of you to worry about your friend.

0:25:04.640 --> 0:25:07.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that this is any It's not the

0:25:07.000 --> 0:25:09.320
<v Speaker 2>worst decisions she could ever make that would ruin her

0:25:09.320 --> 0:25:12.760
<v Speaker 2>life forever. But yeah, as long as she's weighing all

0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:14.280
<v Speaker 2>the pros and cons and is doing it for the

0:25:14.359 --> 0:25:18.160
<v Speaker 2>right reasons, then it can be a better option than

0:25:18.240 --> 0:25:20.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, taking out an expensive loan which you can't

0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:23.919
<v Speaker 2>even do for a down payment, or borrowing money from

0:25:23.960 --> 0:25:31.160
<v Speaker 2>family and friends, which can be awkward. So so yeah, thanks,

0:25:31.240 --> 0:25:35.280
<v Speaker 2>miss d We have a nosy question from a listener.

0:25:35.640 --> 0:25:39.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, Between d Be and nosy, but I have

0:25:39.520 --> 0:25:42.440
<v Speaker 1>friend and it's the nosy episodes.

0:25:42.760 --> 0:25:45.640
<v Speaker 2>This will again a little personal. So this is from

0:25:45.680 --> 0:25:48.200
<v Speaker 2>anonymous too, couldn't even couldn't even give us her real name,

0:25:48.200 --> 0:25:52.320
<v Speaker 2>but wants to get something for us, but nothing in return. Anyway,

0:25:52.400 --> 0:25:56.159
<v Speaker 2>anonymous listener, she says, how and when did you guys

0:25:56.200 --> 0:25:58.640
<v Speaker 2>meet your husband's I'm a forty eight year old woman

0:25:58.680 --> 0:26:01.399
<v Speaker 2>living in Boston, and I sometimes wonder when when am

0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:03.800
<v Speaker 2>I ever going to meet my future husband. Please give

0:26:03.800 --> 0:26:05.879
<v Speaker 2>me any advice and ideas that you can as to

0:26:05.920 --> 0:26:07.840
<v Speaker 2>how and where you meet good quality men.

0:26:08.760 --> 0:26:11.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh, this is like such a departure for what we

0:26:11.600 --> 0:26:12.080
<v Speaker 1>normally get.

0:26:12.080 --> 0:26:15.480
<v Speaker 2>I like this question, a little lifestyle question. I actually,

0:26:15.640 --> 0:26:18.080
<v Speaker 2>I actually just read that July eighth is supposed to

0:26:18.160 --> 0:26:20.520
<v Speaker 2>be the day when, like online dating site see the

0:26:20.560 --> 0:26:25.600
<v Speaker 2>biggest jump in activity more than Valentine's Day, trying to

0:26:25.640 --> 0:26:31.160
<v Speaker 2>get that summer boo Oh, that's hilarious, trying to get

0:26:31.160 --> 0:26:32.879
<v Speaker 2>someone who has air conditioning.

0:26:33.760 --> 0:26:37.399
<v Speaker 1>Trying to lay up in the in the ac. Okay,

0:26:37.400 --> 0:26:41.040
<v Speaker 1>so I'll go first. I actually when I met Superman,

0:26:42.640 --> 0:26:44.159
<v Speaker 1>he was just like a guy that worked in the building,

0:26:44.359 --> 0:26:45.919
<v Speaker 1>Like I thought, you know, I guess I thought he

0:26:45.960 --> 0:26:47.719
<v Speaker 1>was handsome, but I honestly, at the time I had

0:26:47.720 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 1>a boyfriend who I thought I was going to get

0:26:49.240 --> 0:26:52.919
<v Speaker 1>married to, and Superman was maintenance man. Honestly, in this

0:26:54.000 --> 0:26:56.520
<v Speaker 1>both of us worked in the bottom of the well.

0:26:57.000 --> 0:26:59.880
<v Speaker 1>He worked the whole building, but my daycare center where

0:26:59.880 --> 0:27:02.159
<v Speaker 1>I worked at the bottom of this project building and

0:27:02.200 --> 0:27:04.760
<v Speaker 1>the worst section of New York. It was not pleasant.

0:27:04.960 --> 0:27:07.480
<v Speaker 1>The kids were awesome, though, and so like I loved

0:27:07.520 --> 0:27:11.040
<v Speaker 1>working there because the kids were amazing and Superman was

0:27:11.119 --> 0:27:14.120
<v Speaker 1>one of the maintenance guys. So you know, like I said,

0:27:14.160 --> 0:27:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I vaguely remember thinking like, oh, yeah, he's hands down,

0:27:16.840 --> 0:27:19.320
<v Speaker 1>But at the time, I was like all loved up

0:27:19.840 --> 0:27:22.160
<v Speaker 1>with my then boyfriend, who, like I said, I thought

0:27:22.400 --> 0:27:25.399
<v Speaker 1>it was gonna marry and then, and I think Superman

0:27:25.480 --> 0:27:28.480
<v Speaker 1>was in a relationship then. I don't know, but like him,

0:27:28.600 --> 0:27:30.399
<v Speaker 1>like all the other kind of like guys in the building,

0:27:30.400 --> 0:27:32.320
<v Speaker 1>they would come by and fix things in the in

0:27:32.359 --> 0:27:34.520
<v Speaker 1>the center if it needed to be fixed. One thing

0:27:34.560 --> 0:27:38.000
<v Speaker 1>I do remember about him was that I remember thinking

0:27:38.320 --> 0:27:42.320
<v Speaker 1>he reminded me of you remember coming to America, Prince Hakeen.

0:27:42.359 --> 0:27:46.240
<v Speaker 1>The way he was mopping the floor in like in mcgowel's.

0:27:45.840 --> 0:27:48.000
<v Speaker 2>Was it was that Eddie Murphy's Oh no, yeah, ye yeah, yeah,

0:27:48.040 --> 0:27:49.639
<v Speaker 2>yeah yeah Eddie Murphy the other.

0:27:49.520 --> 0:27:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Guy, right, no, no, it was Eddie Murphy. It was like,

0:27:51.960 --> 0:27:55.960
<v Speaker 1>uh so, like so Prince Taki right. So that that's

0:27:55.960 --> 0:27:58.160
<v Speaker 1>the one distinct thing I remember is that I remember

0:27:58.560 --> 0:28:01.520
<v Speaker 1>that the difference between watching him work and like the

0:28:01.560 --> 0:28:04.680
<v Speaker 1>other guy's work. I remember just being struck by he

0:28:05.160 --> 0:28:07.359
<v Speaker 1>even if no one was watching or he couldn't visibly

0:28:07.400 --> 0:28:09.879
<v Speaker 1>see somebody watching, he took just so much pride in

0:28:09.920 --> 0:28:11.720
<v Speaker 1>his work and that just struck me for some reason.

0:28:11.920 --> 0:28:16.600
<v Speaker 1>And then like Facebook played match maker, like I don't know,

0:28:16.880 --> 0:28:18.479
<v Speaker 1>we must have been at our twenties whatever. But then

0:28:18.960 --> 0:28:21.520
<v Speaker 1>when I was thirty, I broke it up, like with

0:28:21.600 --> 0:28:24.080
<v Speaker 1>my with my guy, I thought I was gonna marry

0:28:24.440 --> 0:28:27.480
<v Speaker 1>and I was all like, oh my life. And I

0:28:27.480 --> 0:28:28.880
<v Speaker 1>told myself I was gonna get back out there because

0:28:28.880 --> 0:28:30.120
<v Speaker 1>we had been broken up for a year or two.

0:28:30.680 --> 0:28:32.800
<v Speaker 1>And Facebook said, hey, you know people that you might

0:28:32.880 --> 0:28:36.480
<v Speaker 1>know and he popped up and I was like ooh.

0:28:36.560 --> 0:28:38.600
<v Speaker 1>I remember I remember thinking like, oh, this guy is cute,

0:28:38.640 --> 0:28:40.400
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, wait, is that that guy from

0:28:40.400 --> 0:28:43.920
<v Speaker 1>the he's a daycare Center and I was like, oh

0:28:43.920 --> 0:28:45.720
<v Speaker 1>it is. I was like, ooh, so he's not a stranger.

0:28:45.720 --> 0:28:48.280
<v Speaker 1>So I friended him and then it turned out it

0:28:48.320 --> 0:28:50.280
<v Speaker 1>was like his birthday. His birthday was the day before,

0:28:50.360 --> 0:28:52.680
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, oh, happy birthday. I owe you

0:28:52.800 --> 0:28:54.120
<v Speaker 1>some ice cream. I was trying to be cute, but

0:28:54.160 --> 0:28:56.160
<v Speaker 1>I was like, hey, I never asked the guy out,

0:28:56.320 --> 0:28:58.720
<v Speaker 1>and him being fast behind that, he was was like, okay,

0:28:58.720 --> 0:29:03.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm free tomorrow. I was like, and we ended up

0:29:03.880 --> 0:29:05.760
<v Speaker 1>going out for ice cream, and I remember being like, Wow,

0:29:05.800 --> 0:29:09.760
<v Speaker 1>he's really nice. He's a throwback Superman. He's like even

0:29:09.800 --> 0:29:11.280
<v Speaker 1>though he was like born and raised and like the

0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:12.160
<v Speaker 1>projects of New York.

0:29:12.400 --> 0:29:14.080
<v Speaker 2>Say that again, because something happened.

0:29:14.480 --> 0:29:18.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, I said that. You know, Superman is real throwback,

0:29:18.560 --> 0:29:20.080
<v Speaker 1>like even though he was born and raised on like

0:29:20.120 --> 0:29:24.520
<v Speaker 1>the projects of Newark, like he there's just something about him.

0:29:25.080 --> 0:29:27.680
<v Speaker 1>And so one thing I had to get over because

0:29:27.680 --> 0:29:30.640
<v Speaker 1>I have my master's and he didn't go to college.

0:29:30.640 --> 0:29:33.520
<v Speaker 1>And my parents, of course were thrilled that their Nigerian

0:29:33.600 --> 0:29:36.240
<v Speaker 1>daughter was dating a non Nigerian and then someone who

0:29:36.240 --> 0:29:39.240
<v Speaker 1>didn't have a college degree. But what I really love

0:29:39.280 --> 0:29:41.680
<v Speaker 1>about Superman is that he is like one of the

0:29:41.760 --> 0:29:45.640
<v Speaker 1>kindest people that I know, Like everybody in the neighborhood

0:29:45.720 --> 0:29:48.600
<v Speaker 1>knows him. Like I like, literally, we were driving home

0:29:48.600 --> 0:29:50.480
<v Speaker 1>the other night and I saw that a car was

0:29:50.520 --> 0:29:51.760
<v Speaker 1>pulled over in the side of the road and there's

0:29:51.760 --> 0:29:54.000
<v Speaker 1>a woman standing out there, and I knew already it

0:29:54.040 --> 0:29:55.960
<v Speaker 1>was already late, and I thought to myself, I said, oh,

0:29:56.280 --> 0:29:58.120
<v Speaker 1>we're gonna pull over, because I could just see him

0:29:58.160 --> 0:30:01.280
<v Speaker 1>looking like, oh my gosh, someone's their car has stopped.

0:30:01.280 --> 0:30:02.680
<v Speaker 1>And then he saw that there was like two guys

0:30:02.680 --> 0:30:04.440
<v Speaker 1>with her, so he kept going and he saw that

0:30:04.680 --> 0:30:06.840
<v Speaker 1>they were helping her with her with her car. But

0:30:06.880 --> 0:30:09.560
<v Speaker 1>that's him, Like I could be sitting watching TV and

0:30:09.600 --> 0:30:11.600
<v Speaker 1>he'll bust to the door. He's like, vibes, we have

0:30:11.600 --> 0:30:14.160
<v Speaker 1>apple sauce. I'm like what, And then there's a troop

0:30:14.200 --> 0:30:18.480
<v Speaker 1>of kids behind him, and so I it took me.

0:30:18.520 --> 0:30:19.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna lie, it took me a minute to

0:30:20.040 --> 0:30:23.440
<v Speaker 1>let go of the fact that he wasn't traditionally what

0:30:23.560 --> 0:30:25.680
<v Speaker 1>I thought that I would end up with, you know,

0:30:25.760 --> 0:30:29.560
<v Speaker 1>because although he's super sweet, he's also hood just from

0:30:30.040 --> 0:30:33.560
<v Speaker 1>like you know, and so it but I dated like

0:30:33.880 --> 0:30:35.920
<v Speaker 1>a number of guys and one of the reasons why

0:30:35.960 --> 0:30:37.360
<v Speaker 1>the guy who I thought I was gonna marry we

0:30:37.360 --> 0:30:40.040
<v Speaker 1>didn't work out is because I at the time, I

0:30:40.080 --> 0:30:44.160
<v Speaker 1>knew I wanted something more, and I was working on trying.

0:30:44.240 --> 0:30:45.720
<v Speaker 1>I knew something in me said, I want to do

0:30:45.800 --> 0:30:48.520
<v Speaker 1>more than just teach at the stay Care center. There's

0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:50.520
<v Speaker 1>something else. But he loved the fact that I was

0:30:50.560 --> 0:30:53.640
<v Speaker 1>a teacher and just came home and like looked after him.

0:30:53.680 --> 0:30:55.840
<v Speaker 1>And I didn't want that kind of life. And what

0:30:55.880 --> 0:30:58.440
<v Speaker 1>I love about Superman is that he always encourages me

0:30:59.040 --> 0:31:02.040
<v Speaker 1>to do more, Like his only question is how can

0:31:02.080 --> 0:31:03.880
<v Speaker 1>I help? And so I had to let all of

0:31:03.920 --> 0:31:07.080
<v Speaker 1>the fact that, like, yes, maybe traditionally we don't match up,

0:31:07.120 --> 0:31:10.360
<v Speaker 1>but when it comes to emotionally, he's my perfect match,

0:31:10.400 --> 0:31:12.480
<v Speaker 1>you know, And so I don't know. I always tell

0:31:12.480 --> 0:31:14.760
<v Speaker 1>women that, you know, whoever your match might be, might not,

0:31:14.920 --> 0:31:16.719
<v Speaker 1>you know, might not on the outside, I mean Superman,

0:31:16.800 --> 0:31:20.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean he's really handsome, but you know, I wasn't

0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:23.080
<v Speaker 1>counting on that. I'm like, oh yes, but like other

0:31:23.120 --> 0:31:25.680
<v Speaker 1>than that, like you know, everything else doesn't match up.

0:31:25.720 --> 0:31:27.920
<v Speaker 1>The way we grew up doesn't match up, our backgrounds

0:31:27.920 --> 0:31:30.240
<v Speaker 1>don't match up, But it's just the perfect match. So

0:31:31.080 --> 0:31:32.840
<v Speaker 1>that's my love story with Superman.

0:31:33.680 --> 0:31:37.600
<v Speaker 2>It's a good story. I felt I was getting tucked in.

0:31:41.600 --> 0:31:46.480
<v Speaker 2>Tell me again about to take care and the maintenance man. No,

0:31:46.640 --> 0:31:49.040
<v Speaker 2>I've only met him a few times, but he's very

0:31:49.120 --> 0:31:51.840
<v Speaker 2>very nice, you can tell. And I met some of

0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:57.840
<v Speaker 2>us hood friends too. Just say they are as described. Yes,

0:31:59.560 --> 0:32:01.240
<v Speaker 2>I was like, we all know I'm Tiffany's Fringy'll better

0:32:01.280 --> 0:32:06.600
<v Speaker 2>show up, all right anyway? So for yeah, I feel

0:32:06.640 --> 0:32:09.600
<v Speaker 2>for her question. She's in her late forties. I think

0:32:09.640 --> 0:32:11.640
<v Speaker 2>it's hard. I mean, I think obviously with the older

0:32:11.680 --> 0:32:13.880
<v Speaker 2>you get, I think the perception is that it's going

0:32:13.920 --> 0:32:16.880
<v Speaker 2>to be really hard to find people and find someone

0:32:16.920 --> 0:32:19.440
<v Speaker 2>to date. But listen, I've seen my mom get married

0:32:19.440 --> 0:32:23.400
<v Speaker 2>twice and she's in her fifties now. If my mom

0:32:23.400 --> 0:32:26.440
<v Speaker 2>can do it, anybody can. And she's never really given

0:32:26.520 --> 0:32:29.240
<v Speaker 2>up on love, and she's she finally found the one

0:32:29.280 --> 0:32:32.240
<v Speaker 2>for her. And she's she's almost sixty now, so she

0:32:32.320 --> 0:32:35.320
<v Speaker 2>just got read married last year. She actually married her

0:32:35.360 --> 0:32:38.240
<v Speaker 2>high school sweetheart and her previous husband she had met

0:32:38.280 --> 0:32:42.080
<v Speaker 2>on I think match dot com, okay and taking a

0:32:42.240 --> 0:32:44.560
<v Speaker 2>page out of my mom's book, I met my husband

0:32:44.600 --> 0:32:50.320
<v Speaker 2>on Okay Cupid way back in twenty of twelve when

0:32:50.400 --> 0:32:53.280
<v Speaker 2>okay cubid was like the hot stuff, and now I

0:32:53.280 --> 0:32:56.600
<v Speaker 2>feel old because no one uses it as people use it.

0:32:56.640 --> 0:32:58.520
<v Speaker 2>But it's like there's Tinder and there's Bumble, and there's

0:32:58.520 --> 0:33:00.720
<v Speaker 2>all these new apps that are out there. Now I'm

0:33:00.760 --> 0:33:03.120
<v Speaker 2>all about online dating. I know so many couples who

0:33:03.240 --> 0:33:06.200
<v Speaker 2>have met each other on Tinder, on okay Cupid. I've

0:33:06.200 --> 0:33:10.160
<v Speaker 2>been to several online dating success weddings, and I think

0:33:10.280 --> 0:33:12.800
<v Speaker 2>especially if you're and you're in a big city like

0:33:12.840 --> 0:33:15.240
<v Speaker 2>bostonick I, you know, I feel that way about New York.

0:33:15.280 --> 0:33:18.560
<v Speaker 2>It's hard to meet people, you know, in these big

0:33:18.600 --> 0:33:20.840
<v Speaker 2>cities where everyone seems like they're in their own world

0:33:20.920 --> 0:33:23.520
<v Speaker 2>and it's hard to like have a you know, strike

0:33:23.560 --> 0:33:26.240
<v Speaker 2>up a conversation. But I'm I'm all about online dating.

0:33:26.280 --> 0:33:28.000
<v Speaker 2>If you haven't tried it, I say, give it a try.

0:33:29.120 --> 0:33:32.320
<v Speaker 2>I also feel like classic advice do what you love doing,

0:33:32.400 --> 0:33:35.480
<v Speaker 2>like be out there in the world doing what you

0:33:35.520 --> 0:33:37.680
<v Speaker 2>do love doing, and hopefully you'll meet someone who's kind

0:33:37.720 --> 0:33:41.040
<v Speaker 2>of crossing your path. And then I wish when when

0:33:41.080 --> 0:33:43.000
<v Speaker 2>Tiffany I was like noding my head when you were

0:33:43.000 --> 0:33:47.200
<v Speaker 2>talking about how like what you the expectation that you have.

0:33:48.280 --> 0:33:51.680
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes it can hurt, I think when you're looking for

0:33:51.720 --> 0:33:54.560
<v Speaker 2>a partner, because I have I definitely have a girlfriend

0:33:54.600 --> 0:33:57.120
<v Speaker 2>or two or not just girlfriends. But people I've seen

0:33:57.200 --> 0:34:02.000
<v Speaker 2>who are very like like, they're expectations are so outrageous

0:34:02.080 --> 0:34:04.240
<v Speaker 2>that I mean, I hate to be a guy dating

0:34:04.240 --> 0:34:07.080
<v Speaker 2>this person because they're kind of coming in as a

0:34:07.120 --> 0:34:10.360
<v Speaker 2>loser already because they can't sort of meet the high expectations.

0:34:10.400 --> 0:34:14.319
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I always looked at like my husband as

0:34:14.800 --> 0:34:18.440
<v Speaker 2>a good investment, like maybe there's some things that can

0:34:18.480 --> 0:34:20.920
<v Speaker 2>be improved, this is going to get me in trouble,

0:34:21.239 --> 0:34:24.200
<v Speaker 2>but like I always saw the solid return on investment

0:34:24.200 --> 0:34:27.839
<v Speaker 2>potential with them. With my husband, like, he a same thing,

0:34:28.360 --> 0:34:30.759
<v Speaker 2>very very like all the all the basics of what

0:34:30.800 --> 0:34:37.360
<v Speaker 2>you want, like good human being professionally successful, you know, ambitious,

0:34:37.400 --> 0:34:39.239
<v Speaker 2>but not so ambitious that we were going to be

0:34:39.280 --> 0:34:43.200
<v Speaker 2>at odds with one another because with our careers, very

0:34:43.239 --> 0:34:45.360
<v Speaker 2>fambul oriented and he had a lot of good friends.

0:34:45.400 --> 0:34:49.360
<v Speaker 2>That was my that was my checklist, checked all those boxes,

0:34:49.440 --> 0:34:52.040
<v Speaker 2>Like just if you just become just get basic about

0:34:52.040 --> 0:34:55.279
<v Speaker 2>what you're looking for, yes, because that's all you need

0:34:55.320 --> 0:34:56.839
<v Speaker 2>at the end of the day. Just someone who's nice

0:34:56.840 --> 0:35:00.399
<v Speaker 2>to you and reliable. Yeah, And and.

0:35:00.360 --> 0:35:02.000
<v Speaker 1>I wanted somebody who wanted was going to make the

0:35:02.040 --> 0:35:04.440
<v Speaker 1>effort like in the beginning, like like most women, you know,

0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:06.440
<v Speaker 1>I had all these checklists, like you said, Nanny, I'm

0:35:06.440 --> 0:35:07.600
<v Speaker 1>like and this and this and this and this. And

0:35:08.320 --> 0:35:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I realized no one was going to live up to that.

0:35:09.960 --> 0:35:11.960
<v Speaker 1>And someone asked me, girl, are you even that? And

0:35:12.000 --> 0:35:16.239
<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh wait, that was a read. And

0:35:16.320 --> 0:35:18.680
<v Speaker 1>so I then a girlfriend really asked me, She's like,

0:35:18.719 --> 0:35:23.160
<v Speaker 1>what are the core things? Like really core things? And honestly,

0:35:23.200 --> 0:35:26.240
<v Speaker 1>when I looked at the core things, like college degree

0:35:26.280 --> 0:35:29.440
<v Speaker 1>for me wasn't on there because I had gone through

0:35:29.640 --> 0:35:31.920
<v Speaker 1>and dated like all of these guys who were like

0:35:32.080 --> 0:35:34.719
<v Speaker 1>successful and whatever. And so when I realized what was

0:35:34.760 --> 0:35:37.839
<v Speaker 1>missing from those relationships, when I really wanted somebody won

0:35:38.640 --> 0:35:41.640
<v Speaker 1>who was intrinsically kind. I remember that was so big

0:35:41.680 --> 0:35:43.640
<v Speaker 1>to me because I had dated guys who when we

0:35:43.640 --> 0:35:46.080
<v Speaker 1>were together, they were amazing, so sweet, and then we

0:35:46.080 --> 0:35:48.400
<v Speaker 1>went when we started to break up whatever, it was like,

0:35:48.480 --> 0:35:52.080
<v Speaker 1>who is this guy? He's terrible, you know, And I thought, Wow,

0:35:52.200 --> 0:35:55.279
<v Speaker 1>I want someone who is not just kind because they're

0:35:55.280 --> 0:35:57.840
<v Speaker 1>with me or they love me. But that's like kindness

0:35:57.880 --> 0:36:00.520
<v Speaker 1>is their default. That that was critical to me. And

0:36:00.640 --> 0:36:03.759
<v Speaker 1>that's what I see in Superman is that, like his

0:36:03.880 --> 0:36:06.960
<v Speaker 1>default is kindness. So like even when like you know,

0:36:07.000 --> 0:36:10.839
<v Speaker 1>we have Supermom who's super Supergirls, my my bonus daughter,

0:36:11.000 --> 0:36:13.920
<v Speaker 1>her mother. So even if they don't get along for

0:36:14.000 --> 0:36:16.360
<v Speaker 1>whatever read I mean, honestly, they've got a really great relationship,

0:36:16.360 --> 0:36:18.960
<v Speaker 1>but let's just say, you know, they have a difference

0:36:18.960 --> 0:36:21.040
<v Speaker 1>about like who's going to pay for back to school

0:36:21.040 --> 0:36:24.240
<v Speaker 1>clothes or whatever, you know, but then his his default

0:36:24.360 --> 0:36:27.720
<v Speaker 1>is always kindness. So seeing that, I was like, wow,

0:36:27.800 --> 0:36:29.759
<v Speaker 1>I knew I wanted that. And also too, I wanted

0:36:29.760 --> 0:36:31.920
<v Speaker 1>somebody who's going to make the effort because I found,

0:36:31.960 --> 0:36:34.560
<v Speaker 1>like you know, dating, sometimes guys were so lazy. I'm like, well, dang,

0:36:35.040 --> 0:36:37.560
<v Speaker 1>can you do something? And so like Superman really makes

0:36:37.560 --> 0:36:40.799
<v Speaker 1>the effort to make me feel special. Like if I

0:36:40.840 --> 0:36:42.640
<v Speaker 1>come home, like when I come back from Essence Pest,

0:36:42.640 --> 0:36:44.560
<v Speaker 1>I already know what's going to happen. One, the house

0:36:44.640 --> 0:36:46.680
<v Speaker 1>is going to be immaculate, because he always feels like

0:36:46.719 --> 0:36:48.400
<v Speaker 1>if I come home from like a work trip, I

0:36:48.400 --> 0:36:50.520
<v Speaker 1>should come home to not have to having to do work.

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Two there's going to be food. Three, the AC will

0:36:53.000 --> 0:36:54.719
<v Speaker 1>be on in the room, and like my nightgown will

0:36:54.760 --> 0:36:55.960
<v Speaker 1>be like laid on the bed because he knows as

0:36:55.960 --> 0:36:57.759
<v Speaker 1>soon as I come home from a flight, I alway

0:36:57.760 --> 0:36:58.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't care if I slept on the flight. I

0:36:58.920 --> 0:37:01.920
<v Speaker 1>always want to sleep. Like that's such sweet effort.

0:37:01.920 --> 0:37:02.040
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:37:02.040 --> 0:37:03.560
<v Speaker 1>He's always like, I'm sorry I don't buy you stuff.

0:37:03.600 --> 0:37:05.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I don't care about that stuff, like I

0:37:05.600 --> 0:37:07.880
<v Speaker 1>love that, you know. And so once I got clear

0:37:08.400 --> 0:37:11.520
<v Speaker 1>on like the core core things that I needed, you know,

0:37:11.600 --> 0:37:13.840
<v Speaker 1>because I remember my dad was like, yeah, but I

0:37:13.840 --> 0:37:16.440
<v Speaker 1>always wanted you to marry somebody who was gonna, like,

0:37:16.520 --> 0:37:19.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, be able to take care of you financially.

0:37:19.120 --> 0:37:20.600
<v Speaker 1>And honestly, the truth of the matter is, I mean

0:37:20.600 --> 0:37:22.560
<v Speaker 1>it's not like Superman is not broke. We actually live

0:37:22.560 --> 0:37:25.120
<v Speaker 1>off his income. We just save and invest. Mind, you know,

0:37:25.160 --> 0:37:26.600
<v Speaker 1>it's just like does he make more than me? No?

0:37:26.640 --> 0:37:28.239
<v Speaker 1>But I was sad to tell my dad the truth is,

0:37:29.000 --> 0:37:31.400
<v Speaker 1>like the point where I am now is my businesses.

0:37:31.480 --> 0:37:33.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean, even if I was dating a doctor or

0:37:33.320 --> 0:37:35.200
<v Speaker 1>a lawyer, they're not gonna they're not making more than me.

0:37:35.680 --> 0:37:37.319
<v Speaker 1>So like what are we like? Am I who am

0:37:37.360 --> 0:37:40.600
<v Speaker 1>I dating Like it's you know, so I'm not dating

0:37:40.600 --> 0:37:42.759
<v Speaker 1>for that. So but honestly, now my parents love him

0:37:43.080 --> 0:37:45.000
<v Speaker 1>and it's funny to hear them say his name with

0:37:45.040 --> 0:37:49.480
<v Speaker 1>his with their Nigerian action. How's y'all hauts done. I'm like, like,

0:37:49.520 --> 0:37:52.040
<v Speaker 1>he's fine, and my sisters have always loved him, like

0:37:52.080 --> 0:37:53.960
<v Speaker 1>he's just always been like they know they need to

0:37:53.960 --> 0:37:57.320
<v Speaker 1>move something or something is broken or whatever, cause superman

0:37:57.400 --> 0:37:59.480
<v Speaker 1>come buy and help. I'm like, look, y'all, he is

0:37:59.520 --> 0:38:03.359
<v Speaker 1>not your your personal handyman. Maybe I'll come by and help.

0:38:03.400 --> 0:38:07.080
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, so just like just be open and don't

0:38:07.120 --> 0:38:09.080
<v Speaker 1>let your family tell you, because I mean, if it

0:38:09.120 --> 0:38:10.840
<v Speaker 1>was up to my family, I would have been by myself.

0:38:11.000 --> 0:38:14.080
<v Speaker 1>My dad finally came around and realized, like, my rules

0:38:14.080 --> 0:38:15.920
<v Speaker 1>are going to keep tiffany single forever. I was like, well,

0:38:15.920 --> 0:38:18.080
<v Speaker 1>not me, Like I was gonna choose regardless. You were

0:38:18.120 --> 0:38:19.839
<v Speaker 1>going to have to come along, and I knew if

0:38:19.840 --> 0:38:21.680
<v Speaker 1>I spit out a baby, he was going to be like, yes,

0:38:21.960 --> 0:38:23.759
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming back around. But luckily he didn't have to

0:38:23.800 --> 0:38:25.840
<v Speaker 1>wait till that. But don't let your family choose for you.

0:38:25.920 --> 0:38:28.239
<v Speaker 1>Don't let them shame you into picking a choice. That

0:38:28.400 --> 0:38:30.480
<v Speaker 1>they think is right for you. Pick your own choice

0:38:30.480 --> 0:38:35.120
<v Speaker 1>based upon your core core values, you know, not based

0:38:35.200 --> 0:38:37.040
<v Speaker 1>upon what you think society is going to say or think.

0:38:38.320 --> 0:38:41.360
<v Speaker 2>Amen, Sista. And also being in your forties, just to

0:38:41.400 --> 0:38:44.280
<v Speaker 2>talk about earning and like for I mean, at this point,

0:38:44.480 --> 0:38:47.080
<v Speaker 2>you probably have a career, don't You're not looking for

0:38:47.080 --> 0:38:49.200
<v Speaker 2>someone to support you, which even like takes off a

0:38:49.280 --> 0:38:52.000
<v Speaker 2>layer of like it might even make things easier because

0:38:52.000 --> 0:38:54.200
<v Speaker 2>there's not like this burden that you're putting on your

0:38:54.239 --> 0:38:56.960
<v Speaker 2>partner to like need to have a you know, need

0:38:57.000 --> 0:39:00.479
<v Speaker 2>to be supporting you or whatever, and you can find

0:39:00.480 --> 0:39:02.879
<v Speaker 2>someone hopefully who's as established in their career. So you're

0:39:02.920 --> 0:39:04.439
<v Speaker 2>just like, I don't know, being in your I'm looking

0:39:04.440 --> 0:39:07.000
<v Speaker 2>forward to being in my forties honestly because I feel

0:39:07.080 --> 0:39:09.759
<v Speaker 2>like it'll just be a time when things are kind

0:39:09.760 --> 0:39:12.359
<v Speaker 2>of like they've you've gone through your thirties and like

0:39:12.400 --> 0:39:15.319
<v Speaker 2>all the you know, all the rat race and like

0:39:15.400 --> 0:39:17.279
<v Speaker 2>trying to get established. And I'm hoping by the time

0:39:17.280 --> 0:39:19.000
<v Speaker 2>in my forties and fifties and just like in a good,

0:39:19.680 --> 0:39:22.920
<v Speaker 2>like secure place and hopefully you find a partner who's

0:39:22.960 --> 0:39:27.239
<v Speaker 2>like in a secure place emotionally and career wise, and

0:39:27.280 --> 0:39:29.400
<v Speaker 2>then can just be even more devoted to you and

0:39:29.480 --> 0:39:30.279
<v Speaker 2>your relationship.

0:39:30.360 --> 0:39:34.000
<v Speaker 1>And I'll let you know. I'm only two years away,

0:39:34.000 --> 0:39:35.120
<v Speaker 1>so I'll let you know how it is when I

0:39:35.120 --> 0:39:35.400
<v Speaker 1>get there.

0:39:35.400 --> 0:39:37.200
<v Speaker 2>All right, Yeah, you let me know. That's part of

0:39:37.239 --> 0:39:40.520
<v Speaker 2>my plan. I'm gonna let you get there first and

0:39:40.560 --> 0:39:42.160
<v Speaker 2>then tell me how, tell me how the weather is

0:39:42.200 --> 0:39:44.880
<v Speaker 2>up there, or if I should just stay here at

0:39:44.920 --> 0:39:45.520
<v Speaker 2>thirty right.

0:39:45.560 --> 0:39:46.879
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you know, as a matter of fact, if you

0:39:46.960 --> 0:39:50.880
<v Speaker 1>are in your forties, tweet us. Let us know, igs,

0:39:50.960 --> 0:39:52.480
<v Speaker 1>let us know how it is. And like, you know,

0:39:52.880 --> 0:39:54.799
<v Speaker 1>was there a big shift when you turn forty? Like

0:39:54.840 --> 0:39:56.720
<v Speaker 1>you know, a girl can't I might tell me nothing

0:39:57.200 --> 0:40:00.399
<v Speaker 1>like or was it like like thirties? Plus I'd love

0:40:00.400 --> 0:40:02.520
<v Speaker 1>to know for some of our listeners that are already

0:40:02.719 --> 0:40:04.160
<v Speaker 1>already on the other side.

0:40:04.320 --> 0:40:06.759
<v Speaker 2>Or if you're dating in your forties, dating at all,

0:40:06.840 --> 0:40:09.319
<v Speaker 2>Like where do you guys meet men? Are you rolling

0:40:09.360 --> 0:40:11.480
<v Speaker 2>your eyes at me? Because I said online dating it works.

0:40:11.560 --> 0:40:16.200
<v Speaker 2>I've seen it work. Sometimes you gotta like sometimes you

0:40:16.280 --> 0:40:18.759
<v Speaker 2>just gotta, you know, put the universe just give it

0:40:18.760 --> 0:40:21.120
<v Speaker 2>a little help, you know exactly.

0:40:21.719 --> 0:40:27.279
<v Speaker 1>It's like hello from the other side.

0:40:28.040 --> 0:40:31.279
<v Speaker 2>All right, Anonymous, Well, thank you for sending your question again.

0:40:31.320 --> 0:40:33.960
<v Speaker 2>You guys, hit us up at Branhambisson podcast dot com

0:40:34.000 --> 0:40:36.640
<v Speaker 2>and click ask us anything to send us a question

0:40:36.719 --> 0:40:40.000
<v Speaker 2>of your own. You can remain anonymous, just let me

0:40:40.080 --> 0:40:42.600
<v Speaker 2>know in the in the email, or I will say

0:40:42.640 --> 0:40:43.440
<v Speaker 2>your name out loud.

0:40:45.280 --> 0:40:50.799
<v Speaker 1>Yes, please me that I wanted. I can see you

0:40:50.800 --> 0:40:53.840
<v Speaker 1>as a mom. You're like, they're like, heang, Mom, that

0:40:53.920 --> 0:40:56.360
<v Speaker 1>was dark. You're like, ooh, sorry, that was yeah.

0:40:56.480 --> 0:40:59.480
<v Speaker 2>I really you know, that's why Drikue is a nice one.

0:40:59.800 --> 0:41:02.640
<v Speaker 1>You the stuff that my dad used to say. I'm like,

0:41:02.680 --> 0:41:04.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty sure that's not the translation. You were looking

0:41:04.600 --> 0:41:07.120
<v Speaker 1>forward to English, Like maybe if my dad was gonna

0:41:07.120 --> 0:41:09.799
<v Speaker 1>say something like you know you girl, like you know,

0:41:10.120 --> 0:41:12.080
<v Speaker 1>behave yourself, Tiffany, you don't want to get a spanking.

0:41:12.480 --> 0:41:15.240
<v Speaker 1>But when it translated from like I guess ebo to English,

0:41:15.320 --> 0:41:20.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, uh, did you try to kill me? My

0:41:20.080 --> 0:41:23.080
<v Speaker 1>mother would be like, like calling him by his nickname,

0:41:23.120 --> 0:41:28.719
<v Speaker 1>she has said that's not how you say it, and

0:41:28.719 --> 0:41:30.520
<v Speaker 1>she's like he just means fake. I'm like, either way,

0:41:30.560 --> 0:41:36.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm out of here. Bla yes, lost in translation.

0:41:37.520 --> 0:41:41.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, we have a happy Fourth of July. Half on

0:41:41.560 --> 0:41:42.759
<v Speaker 2>at Essence Fest.

0:41:43.080 --> 0:41:45.040
<v Speaker 1>I will I can't wait. It's going to be fun.

0:41:45.239 --> 0:41:46.400
<v Speaker 2>Tell all our fans.

0:41:46.440 --> 0:41:49.280
<v Speaker 1>I said, Hi, Yes, he's like no, yes, please come

0:41:49.640 --> 0:41:51.160
<v Speaker 1>and like you know what, we'll take pictures so we

0:41:51.200 --> 0:41:52.080
<v Speaker 1>can send them to Mandy.

0:41:52.560 --> 0:41:54.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, i'll post him on the gram.

0:41:55.120 --> 0:41:57.320
<v Speaker 1>Yes. Oh that'll be fun. Yes, I'll do that.

0:41:57.560 --> 0:42:02.000
<v Speaker 2>I'll be around. Stay say you see some fireworks. Stay warm,

0:42:02.040 --> 0:42:04.719
<v Speaker 2>I mean stay cool ship, don't stay warm, my god.

0:42:04.560 --> 0:42:06.120
<v Speaker 1>It's too late, too late.

0:42:06.440 --> 0:42:08.799
<v Speaker 2>Just to crank up the AC and go to sleep.

0:42:09.880 --> 0:42:11.719
<v Speaker 1>All right, mandra until next week.

0:42:12.520 --> 0:42:15.359
<v Speaker 2>Stay Brown nailed it.

0:42:16.680 --> 0:42:17.000
<v Speaker 1>Bye?

0:42:17.160 --> 0:42:19.040
<v Speaker 2>Did you do this for a living? You're good at

0:42:19.040 --> 0:42:19.120
<v Speaker 2>it