1 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:23,599 Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, Hi, it's fifty and I feel like 2 00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: we always forget, like, wait, isn't what we're supposed to say? Hi? Hey, 3 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:33,400 Speaker 1: how is everyone today? Ah? So, oh, it's the day 4 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,159 Speaker 1: before fourth of July, but if you're listening to it's 5 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: probably the fourth or a half there. 6 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:37,600 Speaker 2: How are you fourth of July? 7 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: Are you going to do anything? 8 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, well we are. Like I mentioned, we're doing our 9 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 2: annual glamping trip with some friends, which doesn't even deserve 10 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,199 Speaker 2: to be called glamping. We're just renting a house. So 11 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 2: but we don't leave until Thursday morning, So I guess 12 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 2: I just have a day off tomorrow. I'm gonna try 13 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 2: and take it off, but something tells me I'm gonna 14 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 2: have to work in the morning, just a little bit, 15 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 2: just because I can. I kind of I'm okay with 16 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 2: working even though you're supposed to be off, if it 17 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 2: means when you come back on Monday that you'll be 18 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 2: a little less stressed. 19 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: Oh, so you're gonna take the whole So you guys 20 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: get Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. 21 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 2: I'm taking Thursday and Friday off. No, we don't get 22 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 2: it off. Although if you work for the government, apparently 23 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 2: you get out early on the day before the fourth, like, 24 00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 2: Husbey was home at two o'clock, text to me, like, 25 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 2: what's for dinner? 26 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: No, like, you tell me you're home first? 27 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 2: I know. I'm like, why they let you out of 28 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 2: school early? 29 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: Go, that's exactly what it feels like. 30 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, next thing, I know, He's like, I broke the 31 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 2: pipe to the sink. Oh god, that's great, my problem. 32 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 1: Right exactly. No, Well, Superman, I'm like, did they Well 33 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: they have obviously off on tomorrow, but I don't know. 34 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: If they have the rest of the week off, that 35 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: would be awesome. But I'm headed to Essence Fest this weekend. 36 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 2: That's right? And is that going to be Superman going 37 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 2: with you? Is that your your honeymoon? I mean, not 38 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 2: your honeymore in your anniversary. 39 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 1: He honestly does not like the Mega crown. So no. 40 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: But I'm happy because Adrina, my best friend, will be there. 41 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,959 Speaker 1: She's got two of her clients that are speaking in 42 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: Essen's best but also my sister Tracy and Lisa are coming, 43 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 1: so that'll be fun girl's trips exactly. 44 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 2: Wait no, wait, that was a pun, But I didn't 45 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 2: mean it to be a pun. 46 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:27,520 Speaker 1: Yeah I know. No. Yeah, So I'm excited because it'll 47 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,480 Speaker 1: be a nice, fun time And I think the headliner, 48 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,079 Speaker 1: isn't it Janna Jackson? Miss Jackson, If you're nasty, I. 49 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 2: Don't even know what's happening in the world. Yeah, I 50 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 2: think Janna Jackson's she's like getting her due finally. I 51 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 2: feel like many we did, the internet, the entertainment industry 52 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 2: did her so dirty. I feel like it's finally time 53 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 2: for Janet to just get her due. Didn't she Like 54 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 2: she got the Life Time Achievement Award at some award show. Recently, 55 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 2: she's been on tour, she's been killing it. 56 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,360 Speaker 1: I don't know what they're doing with poor jam I mean, 57 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 1: the thing is, she definitely has had her like whooh 58 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: jet it. She's like, you know, like before Beyonce was 59 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: on the scene. So it's not that they've never recognized her, 60 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: but after that whole Nipplegate. 61 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 2: I know, but it's not there. 62 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, especially since Justin Timberlake has gone on to like, 63 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,519 Speaker 1: you know, no, I agree, I agree. So any well, 64 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: I'll give you some update on the house socks. Just 65 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 1: before we started taping today, Superman was livid because we 66 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 1: got a dumpster, and normally dumpsters go anywhere between I 67 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: guess like six to eight hundred dollars for a dumpster, 68 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,440 Speaker 1: sometimes a little more. And so we got a dumpster. 69 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: He's like, I FO had a good one. This one's 70 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: five hundred dollars. And I was like, oh, that sounds good, right, 71 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, I'm not familiar with dumpster prices. 72 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 1: And so we got it. You know, he didn't even 73 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: really fill it up because honestly, we didn't have that much. 74 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: It was mostly wood and so it wasn't super full, 75 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: and you know, they took it away. We thought everything 76 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,040 Speaker 1: was great, and so we got another bill for like 77 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: four hundred and fifty dollars via email and saying that 78 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: like the dumpster was over by four tons, and I'm like, 79 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: that seems odd for a non full dumpster. So I'm 80 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: realizing now. I didn't get a chance to take a 81 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: look at the company online, but I'm I'm I probably 82 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: wouldn't be surprised that that's their gotcha gotcha that they 83 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: get you with this low price and then they hit 84 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: everybody with the extra. Hey, psych thought you had to deal. 85 00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:22,559 Speaker 1: So I just told Superman, call your credit card company 86 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,480 Speaker 1: before they charge you. They've already charged the initial five hundred, 87 00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: call your credit card company and be like, don't allow 88 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,720 Speaker 1: this charge to come through because it's fraudulent, and they're 89 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,760 Speaker 1: trying to because how you're gonna tell us we went 90 00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: over there's no like, where's the proof. It's not like 91 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,599 Speaker 1: they take you to the measuring site and then they 92 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 1: put something else in the wording where it's like and 93 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: and even when we when we drop it off at 94 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 1: the at the waste whatever landfill, it might be even 95 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: more expensive because they might say it's more. I'm like, oh, 96 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 1: we're not doing all this, so you just won't be 97 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,000 Speaker 1: allowed to charge our cards. So yeah, it was just 98 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: like it's just a learning lesson about like, you know, 99 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 1: the cheapest is not always the best obviously, and then 100 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: to do like we really typically we do our due diligence. 101 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,440 Speaker 1: But Superman is new to the review to the review game, 102 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,039 Speaker 1: so he's just looking like, oh, okay, but I'm always 103 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: all about the reviews. I don't care what your mom said, 104 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: your sister said, I want to see the stars online, 105 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: like how many stars you have? And I want to 106 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: read the one star reviews? What did they say about you? 107 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,239 Speaker 1: You're a thief? Not in my house? 108 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 2: So you let Superman pick the dumpster people. 109 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. 110 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 2: See, I'm a little too. I'm a little micromanagy And 111 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 2: I'm sorry to Husby, but like I I want to 112 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 2: read the reviews myself and I want to do I 113 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,919 Speaker 2: don't know, I'm just like a little OCD about vetting 114 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 2: everybody we talked to, and like Husby is always like yeah, yeah, 115 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 2: we're good, We're good, and I'm like no, no, no, no, no, 116 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:42,799 Speaker 2: Like we just got our we just chose our contractor 117 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 2: it was a classic case of goldilocks, Like the first 118 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 2: bid was too high, the other bid was too low 119 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 2: and they were also mean to us, and the second 120 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 2: bid was just right. We had a good feeling, he 121 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:54,600 Speaker 2: had great reviews, we both liked him. Blah blah blah. 122 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 2: His his bid, while not the lowest, was reasonable and 123 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 2: he seemed very like straightforward about everything. But when I 124 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 2: got the actual contract, it was like the dinkiest little paragraph, 125 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 2: which basically was like a fancier email than what he 126 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 2: had sent us with the original bid, like we'll do 127 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,480 Speaker 2: XYZ for this much money, it'll take this much time. 128 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 2: It had like the essential information, but it didn't look 129 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: to me like any sort of legally binding contract should 130 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 2: where it didn't have anything about what happens if you 131 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 2: don't complete the job and what happens if we stopped 132 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 2: paying you. You know, there wasn't that protection for both sides. 133 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 2: And then I did some research into what a contract 134 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 2: should you know. First I texted a couple of friends 135 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 2: I know who have recently done renovations, and they were 136 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 2: both like, our contract was ten pages long. Meanwhile mine 137 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: was like five hundred words. So I went on Angie's 138 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,359 Speaker 2: list and they had a nice little explainer on what 139 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 2: a contract should include. And actually he had the key essentials. 140 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 2: It was just very like bare bones. But what we 141 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 2: were missing, though, is something really important that I asked 142 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:58,720 Speaker 2: him to add and he said, okay, which is alien elite. 143 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 2: I can't say this word right lean release L I 144 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,720 Speaker 2: E N. And what can happen if you don't have 145 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 2: this is like, so your your general contractor is going 146 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 2: to hire an electrician, a plumber, HVAC person like the 147 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 2: trade people working under him, and then he's going to 148 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 2: be the one paying them. Okay, if they do a 149 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,240 Speaker 2: project on your house and the contractor doesn't pay them, 150 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 2: they could have a case against you and sue you 151 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 2: put a lien on your house and then say you 152 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 2: owe them money. Yeah. So I checked our my husband's 153 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,640 Speaker 2: a cousin's recent home improvement contract and they had a 154 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,960 Speaker 2: lean release. So I emailed him and I was like, 155 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 2: we need to add this language to the contract and 156 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 2: also a couple other things. And now I'm just like, 157 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:44,680 Speaker 2: you know, like we went from kind of being like 158 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 2: totally set on someone and now we have another delay 159 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: because we need to get this contract in shape. 160 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 1: Well, no, it's worth it though, And honestly, normally when 161 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,320 Speaker 1: it comes to all the other things, I was like, 162 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: it's just the dumpster. What's the harm. 163 00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 2: Can whatever? 164 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: Like you know, understand because all the other things, I 165 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 1: was like okay, no, ok yeah, okay, no, okay yeah, 166 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 1: And like I was showing him like okay, like because 167 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,360 Speaker 1: he was like, oh my god, I saw people across 168 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: the street were getting floors done. I got the name 169 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: of the guy. We should get them. I'm like, well, no, 170 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 1: that's not how that works. So yeah, I mean, we 171 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,400 Speaker 1: live and we learned. I just saw him, don't I know. 172 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: He was like really upset about it, because I get it. 173 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 1: Nobody wants to feel like they're ripped off, so I 174 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 1: just feel like, you know, it's a it's a good 175 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: It's better a four hundred dollars lesson than a four thousand. 176 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 2: Dollars lesson, sister friend. 177 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: You know, so we're learning. 178 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 2: It's it's as that's cool. Another pro tip is, don't 179 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 2: spray weed killer on your if you have like a 180 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 2: walkway or something, you know, because weeds pop out of 181 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,640 Speaker 2: the cracks of like the bricks or whatever. Husby got 182 00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 2: super excited about this, like industrial strength weed killer, which 183 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 2: he which worked killed the weeds in the sidewalk, but 184 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 2: then the next day it rained and it washed the 185 00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,920 Speaker 2: toxic weed killer into the grass, and now like half 186 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 2: our yard is brown. Like okay, I just know everyone 187 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 2: passes by our house and they're like, oh, there's the newbies. 188 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, like we're learning. 189 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 2: There goes those kids. 190 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: You know, we've got we've got to shout out the 191 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 1: social streets real quick. 192 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 2: I mean, give us a chance. We were getting there. 193 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 1: Oh okay, I was, you know, I was like, what 194 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 1: did we do it? Do we do it earlier on 195 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 1: or do we want to do it after we chit chat? 196 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I mean we're the boss. Yeah, Well, 197 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 2: now you brought it up, so it would be awkward 198 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,079 Speaker 2: if we didn't do it now because now they're like, ooh, 199 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 2: talk about me, talk about me. There was a lot 200 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 2: of fun stuff I posted this weekend. We had. Well, 201 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,560 Speaker 2: there was the news last week of the upset in 202 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 2: the Bronx and Queens where a twenty eight year old 203 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 2: candidate for Congress was beat the incumbent Democrat who had 204 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 2: been in office for a couple of decades. She's twenty 205 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 2: eight years old. Her name is Alexandria Cossio Cortes, and 206 00:09:58,559 --> 00:10:01,920 Speaker 2: she's of Puerto Rican descent. Dope she that that news 207 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 2: came out. Then over the weekend there were all those protests, 208 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 2: the Families Belonged Together protests to support immigrants at the 209 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,200 Speaker 2: border whose family whose children were taken away from them. 210 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 2: Something like two thousand kids were taken and I think 211 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 2: several hundred kids still haven't been reunited with their family. 212 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 2: So those protests happened. I missed the boat on that. 213 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 2: I was like, man, I blame Gmail because they sent 214 00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 2: my aclu email alert to like my promotions tab, which 215 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 2: no one checks that tab. But I like woke up 216 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 2: on Sunday and I was like, everybody is at this 217 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:40,400 Speaker 2: freaking protest anyway. And then I posted about Maxine Waters 218 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 2: Mama Maxine, who is quickly becoming like she's always been 219 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 2: a living legend. But it's just I love that she's 220 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 2: having her She's like a social media me icon now. 221 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,319 Speaker 2: But apparently she's been getting really serious death threats and 222 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,319 Speaker 2: she had to cancel a rally. And this was in 223 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:02,200 Speaker 2: response to her speaking out against what's happening at the 224 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 2: border right now. And her response to the death threats 225 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,679 Speaker 2: was pretty bad, badass. 226 00:11:07,679 --> 00:11:10,280 Speaker 1: Why she said, if you won't shoot shoot straight. 227 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 2: Straight, So where's a T shirt coming out? Is what 228 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 2: I need to know. 229 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, you already know, like between between we'reclaiming my time 230 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,760 Speaker 1: and it shoot straight that those are epic T shirts. 231 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 2: I love our I love the responses to that. I'm 232 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 2: going to read all of them. First of all, y'all 233 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 2: need to have some easier Instagram names. First of all, 234 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,000 Speaker 2: if these kings Ka Tuk says that she's a mighty force, 235 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 2: Lady Lady seven oh one said the Blood of Jesus 236 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 2: for hand, prayer, hand prayer and prayer hand he fottoed 237 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 2: Ju said, Wow, this gave me chills. Racer Back twenty 238 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 2: nine called her a force to be reckoned with, and 239 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,439 Speaker 2: Liz Liz F. Dickinson sums it up nicely with inspiration 240 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 2: lit Heart. 241 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:55,520 Speaker 1: Oh and if you if you're not following us on Insta, 242 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: you need to be. Our Instagram is Brown Ambition Podcast 243 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: and I'm just gonna do one shout out on Twitter 244 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,679 Speaker 1: to Ksey with all the Eyes and her Twitter name 245 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 1: is Casey two Eyes dough o k C Doe Okay 246 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 1: girl d o E. She said, super grateful for the 247 00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: for the b A podcast and all I've learned from them. 248 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 1: Hashtag we love sisters who help other sisters star star 249 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 1: star Yes, Ksey c E. No, honestly, yes, I loved. 250 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: We love that we help you and we love that 251 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: you listen. And if you're wanting to tag, just for 252 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,319 Speaker 1: us to shout you out on Twitter or on Instagram 253 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:39,200 Speaker 1: or either on Facebook. Our name on Twitter is at 254 00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:43,439 Speaker 1: the b A Podcast. That's at the BA Podcast and 255 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:58,240 Speaker 1: again on Instagram briand Ambition Podcast. Oh so are you 256 00:12:58,280 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: ready to boost their break? 257 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,960 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do a booze this week. 258 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: I think I'm going to do a light break, just. 259 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,719 Speaker 2: A light like a like a spring. Yeah, it's more 260 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 2: like a Sprain like. 261 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like serious, like nothing, you know, no politics 262 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,040 Speaker 1: or nothing, just a little just a little break. 263 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 2: Okay, go for it. 264 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:22,080 Speaker 1: So my break is this sporadic behind weather. I mean, 265 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: oh god, I woke up this morning to go to 266 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:28,240 Speaker 1: the gym. It was legit like five forty five six 267 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 1: am outside and it felt like one pm. I'm like, why, man, 268 00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 1: I mother nature? And it's like literally, not even a 269 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,480 Speaker 1: week ago, it was freezing at night and now it's 270 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: like unbearably hot. It's just I mean, I know we 271 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: all wish for summer when winter comes in, the snow 272 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: is here, but I'm just looking for a reasonable summer. 273 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: Why does it have to feel like New Orleans out here? 274 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,640 Speaker 1: It's just this heat? And then we had a flash 275 00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,760 Speaker 1: flooding today. I was like, so, what is really happening? 276 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 1: What's really happening? I know that it's what is it? 277 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: Uh No? What do they say that they that the 278 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 1: Republicans say, don't doesn't this clout? 279 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 2: Global warming? 280 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,280 Speaker 1: Yeah? Global warming? Shame? 281 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,440 Speaker 2: What's that thing that like science says it's real, but 282 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 2: like conservatives say it's not real? 283 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: Like, oh, global warming? 284 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:15,079 Speaker 2: She said on a melting iceberg. 285 00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: I know, so yeah, I'm kind of over it, so 286 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:23,239 Speaker 1: that's just my my light break is just this unbearable 287 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 1: heat that we're going through. I'm hoping that this flash 288 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: flooding that we had today will help to alleviate some 289 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 1: of this heat. 290 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 2: I was gonna do a boost today really quick for 291 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 2: my moviegoers out there. I signed up for a movie 292 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:38,760 Speaker 2: past like five or six years ago when it first launched. 293 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 2: Have you heard a movie pass? 294 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,240 Speaker 1: I feel like I have. 295 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 2: For anyone who watches more than one or two movies 296 00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 2: a month, you should know about movie Past. Movie pass 297 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,880 Speaker 2: is a subscription service where you pay nine ninety five 298 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 2: a month. Now this is what it is now, nine 299 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 2: ninety five a month, and you can go and see 300 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 2: one movie a day at most theaters, like they have 301 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 2: most of the major theaters in the country. But you 302 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 2: can go to moviepass dot com and like put in 303 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 2: your zip code and see if there's theaters near you 304 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 2: and see if it's worth it. What's funny is that 305 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:07,880 Speaker 2: I signed up in twenty thirteen, way way way back when, 306 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 2: because I was a personal finance reporter, a business insider, 307 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 2: and they were this new company and I wrote a 308 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,760 Speaker 2: story about them, and I was like, cool, I'll try that. 309 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 2: Back then it was thirty five dollars a month, like what, 310 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 2: which at the time, I mean, it still is a 311 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 2: good deal because like tickets in New York. I know 312 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,560 Speaker 2: in other places it's not that bad, but like movie 313 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,520 Speaker 2: tickets in New York are canna be fifteen to seventeen 314 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:30,040 Speaker 2: dollars for a regular ass movie, not even like three D. 315 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 2: No snacks included, no reclining chairs, like a bare minimum. 316 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,080 Speaker 2: So you know, if I was and I love seeing movies, 317 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 2: so for me, even at thirty five dollars, it was 318 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 2: worth it because I would go to see like a 319 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 2: movie a week. But now it's it's definitely worth it 320 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:49,040 Speaker 2: if you're looking to sign up, and other companies are 321 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 2: taking notice. I just read that AMC, the theater chain, 322 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,720 Speaker 2: is starting their own version of this, like a subscription service. 323 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 2: I think it's nineteen ninety five a month. But for 324 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 2: anyone is looking to beat the heat and go watch 325 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 2: a movie this summer, I recommend Movie Past. And I'm 326 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 2: saying that with a touch of saltiness because I decided 327 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 2: to take a break from my membership because we were 328 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 2: moving and I wasn't going I wasn't using it like 329 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:18,120 Speaker 2: I like, I usually did, only to find out if 330 00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:21,080 Speaker 2: you cancel it you have to wait a year before 331 00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 2: you can get back on it. 332 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: So wow, that's how they get you. 333 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:26,520 Speaker 2: Read the fine print. 334 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:29,880 Speaker 1: That's smart marketing. Yeah, I mean, I don't know how 335 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 1: much fan marketing, but it's certainly smart marketing. 336 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 2: I mean, it was in the fine print. But I 337 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 2: was just I was just trying to dip in, dip out, 338 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,760 Speaker 2: I understand. I mean nine ninety five. It's kind of 339 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 2: like the cost of you know, I don't know Spotify 340 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 2: or Hulu or whatever, So it's not that much. It's 341 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 2: not like expensive gym membership that if you don't use 342 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 2: it a month, like if you go and see at 343 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 2: least two three movies a month, I think. 344 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 1: No, even Dan, that's it's totally worth it. Speaking of movies, 345 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: when what's the last one you've seen? 346 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I see a lot of movies. I think 347 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 2: the last what I saw was I haven't seen Oceans 348 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:05,280 Speaker 2: eight yet because I'm waiting to go with a girlfriend 349 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,240 Speaker 2: and we just haven't been able to do it. But 350 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:11,679 Speaker 2: I saw the new Star Wars movie with Khalisi okay 351 00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:14,480 Speaker 2: from Game of Thrones is I I just love Khalisi. 352 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,360 Speaker 2: I saw we had Donald Glover in it. 353 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: Incredible tude. I know, I like Donald Glove with two. 354 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:24,240 Speaker 1: That actually was Incredibles two was good because I loved 355 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 1: The Incredibles one. So it was just really like I 356 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,560 Speaker 1: loved it because it was very woman powerish. So I'm 357 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 1: just like, this is good. I like it. Plus, it's 358 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 1: just a good you know, that's just a it's a great, 359 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: a great uh franchise, The Incredibles. 360 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,960 Speaker 2: So I haven't seen that one. I love Cocoa. Wait 361 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 2: is that Disney? What's the Incredibles? 362 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: I think I want to say Disney Pixar. Yeah, I 363 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: feel like it's Pixar, but you know, don't don't quote 364 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,159 Speaker 1: me on that. But definitely I'm supergirl because you know, 365 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: she's thirty five. She was like, hey, I really want 366 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,600 Speaker 1: to see Oceans eight. I'm like, are you like? I 367 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,720 Speaker 1: was like, is that PG? Thirteen? She looked at me 368 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:03,439 Speaker 1: like what are you asking? I'm like, you know what, 369 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,159 Speaker 1: I can't. I can't. 370 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,360 Speaker 2: So, yeah, so did you see it with her? 371 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,719 Speaker 1: No? I'm like, she's not going to see Oh shit, 372 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:12,359 Speaker 1: I mean I'm. 373 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 2: Presant be incredible. 374 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,080 Speaker 1: Oh incredible? Oh yeah, no, no, she her mom took 375 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,680 Speaker 1: her to see The Incredibles, which is more your speed, 376 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: young lady. Meanwhile, with a doll baby in her hand. 377 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: Do you remember that age when you were like one 378 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: foot where you still kind of had doll babies, but 379 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 1: then the other foot where you were like, Yeah, it's 380 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:29,080 Speaker 1: a weird age because sometimes you'll catch her she'll be 381 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,560 Speaker 1: playing with her doll and I'm like, but I thought 382 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:34,000 Speaker 1: you were thirty five. And then the other age, you know, 383 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,760 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, yeah, there goes to thirty five year 384 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,040 Speaker 1: old woman. Tell me. So it's just a it's a 385 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: weird spot. She's eleven, she'll be twelve in October. So 386 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: it's like this, like I remember that age where we 387 00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: were like wait, I still like like, you know, I'm 388 00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,240 Speaker 1: still a kid. Wait, but I want to be an adult, 389 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: but I'm still a kid. So it's a cute but 390 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: frustrated age. And plus she's tall, almost as tall as 391 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,840 Speaker 1: I am now because her father's so tall. So it's 392 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: like it's weird because now, like when we send things 393 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: to the laundry sometimes, like you know, they'll put like 394 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:04,320 Speaker 1: you know, maybe like her tank top with my things, 395 00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: you know, oh I know, And I'm like, oh, put. 396 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 2: Her in a little time machine times. 397 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: She was so little when I first started dating her father, 398 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, she's so tall now, Like she gets like 399 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: braids and she looks like a little lady and I'm like, 400 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, she looks so pretty. Nats stop growing. 401 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, so mm hmm the life of parenting, well, 402 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:42,840 Speaker 1: at least for me, part time parenting. But yeah, now 403 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:47,320 Speaker 1: even better news My favorite segment question. 404 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,560 Speaker 2: Okay, questions this week? You guys, you know you can 405 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,320 Speaker 2: reach us at Brown Ambition podcast dot com to send 406 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 2: answer questions or you gonna h this up at Brown 407 00:19:58,040 --> 00:20:02,400 Speaker 2: Ambition Podcasts at gmail dot com, got com. This week, 408 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,359 Speaker 2: we'll take a couple of questions. We have a question 409 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,919 Speaker 2: that's been sitting here for a minute, sorry about it. 410 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 2: From listener D. She says a friend of mine is 411 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 2: buying a house for the first time. However, she's taking 412 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 2: out I love how she's telling on her friend, by 413 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 2: the way, so funny. Unless it's not really a friend, 414 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 2: we'll see anyway. She says, a friend of mine is 415 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,959 Speaker 2: buying a house for the first time. However, she's taking 416 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 2: twelve thousand dollars out of her IRA for all of 417 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:28,400 Speaker 2: the associated costs, a down payment, the closing costs, the appraisal. 418 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:31,160 Speaker 2: The seller is not willing to pay her closing costs. 419 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,400 Speaker 2: I think this is a really bad move, but she's 420 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 2: hell bent on moving out of her apartment. I even 421 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,520 Speaker 2: suggested walking away and maybe asking the seller to pay 422 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 2: some of the closing cost What do you think is 423 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 2: this a major mistake? Maybe some people may not know 424 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 2: that you can in some cases borrow money from your 425 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 2: four to one K, which I think is what she's 426 00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 2: talking about, your four to one K for for housing costs. 427 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,800 Speaker 2: It's an option. You can take out a loan, or 428 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 2: you can can do a distribution. Those are different things. 429 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,120 Speaker 1: Yes, because distribution means that they're going to be taxing 430 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: that money within an inch of its life. 431 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:14,880 Speaker 2: Yes, So when you take an early distribution, if you're 432 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,640 Speaker 2: under the age of fifty nine and a half, they 433 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,200 Speaker 2: can treat it as if it's ordinary income, which means 434 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,800 Speaker 2: they will tax you on it, and then you can 435 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 2: also get hit with early withdrawal penalties. But again, like 436 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 2: if anytime you're dipping into your retirement, you're missing out on, 437 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,920 Speaker 2: you know, future gains that you could potentially, yes, take 438 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,680 Speaker 2: advantage of. So it's never ideal. 439 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like the thing I feel like, I 440 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:41,359 Speaker 1: feel where you're coming from, man, because I feel like, well, 441 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: it's not the worst thing she could be doing. It's 442 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: not like she said that she was taking money out 443 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: of her for one K to like, you know, go 444 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:52,280 Speaker 1: shopping or something, or to buy buy a car or 445 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,640 Speaker 1: buy a brand new car. Then I'd be like, oh, yeah, 446 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:57,240 Speaker 1: but it's not the worst thing because at home is 447 00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 1: still an investment in this country. It is. But here's 448 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,160 Speaker 1: the thing I think of, Like, has she has she 449 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,439 Speaker 1: explored and exhausted other options. Has she gone to like 450 00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 1: her her city hall and said, hey, are there are 451 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: there like matching options because sometimes like they're like for example, 452 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,120 Speaker 1: like I think I share with you guys. M ANDT 453 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:21,520 Speaker 1: Bank has like a matching program for first time home buyers. 454 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,800 Speaker 1: Has she looked into NAKA so because there are other 455 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:26,320 Speaker 1: programs that she might qualify for that I could actually 456 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,080 Speaker 1: could pay for that so she could keep her money 457 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 1: where it is. And sometimes these programs are like grant 458 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: programs or you don't have to pay it back. So 459 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not I'm not one hundred percent opposed 460 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,399 Speaker 1: to taking money out, although it's it should be the 461 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,199 Speaker 1: very very very last choice. If you ask me if 462 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: you're going to go that route, that means you exhausted 463 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,160 Speaker 1: all the other options that you have out there, which 464 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,919 Speaker 1: it sounds like that she might not have. 465 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 2: What we're saying here is a four oh one K loan. 466 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 2: This is different from just taking money out of your 467 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,400 Speaker 2: four one K, like it's a piggy bank. If you're 468 00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 2: borrowing from your four oh one K, that means you're 469 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:00,919 Speaker 2: actually going to repay yourself quote quote back to your 470 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 2: four to one K, So you can borrow up to 471 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,320 Speaker 2: fifty thousand dollars or half the value of your account, 472 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 2: whichever is less, so long as you're using the money 473 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 2: to pay for a home purchase, and there's a nominal 474 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 2: interest rate that you know you'll be charged, but again 475 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,919 Speaker 2: it's sort of paying it to yourself. You do have 476 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,480 Speaker 2: to repay the loan. But the thing is it's a 477 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,880 Speaker 2: four toh one K, which means this is typically it's 478 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:28,080 Speaker 2: always actually tied to an employer, and if you were 479 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 2: to lose your job, get fired, or get laid off 480 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:34,400 Speaker 2: or something like that, that loan could become due within 481 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 2: the next year. So it's like the entire balance of it. 482 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 2: So that's the risk if something happens with your employer 483 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,399 Speaker 2: and you don't have enough money to pay off the 484 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,320 Speaker 2: loan in total by the time that they tell you 485 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,879 Speaker 2: had to pay it off, then you could get hit 486 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,159 Speaker 2: with regular taxes and that early withdrawal penalty like we 487 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 2: talked about earlier. 488 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, because believe me, I think I took out. Oh 489 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: I can't remember how much I took out, like a 490 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,359 Speaker 1: maybe when I lost my job as a teacher and 491 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:03,119 Speaker 1: I took out the money from my for like I 492 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,919 Speaker 1: drained it and I it was like maybe I had 493 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars in there or something to that effect, 494 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 1: and I think maybe I got thirty something. So it 495 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 1: was a lot of money that I lost. So like 496 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: that that the penalty and fees, and it's not a 497 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,840 Speaker 1: small thing. It's a significant amount. I remember feeling like 498 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 1: it was like basically half of what I had. So 499 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,919 Speaker 1: like I remember that was like I the school I 500 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 1: worked for didn't match for the like, so all of 501 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: that money was my money that I literally like lost. 502 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:34,160 Speaker 1: So yeah, it just wasn't a gooddy hit. So yeah, 503 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, ultimately your friend is grown, so 504 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: she's gonna make what of her choices that she's going 505 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,399 Speaker 1: to make, but definitely encourage her that, at the very 506 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,879 Speaker 1: least go to her town and ask if there are 507 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 1: programs that she might qualify for. 508 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,160 Speaker 2: Also, you need to You don't know all the business 509 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,640 Speaker 2: of your friend, obviously, but twelve thousand dollars, if that's 510 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 2: all of her four a one k or a big 511 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 2: share of it, then that's a concern because she's kind 512 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,360 Speaker 2: of like wiping out her progress. But if she's got 513 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 2: a really healthy four one k fun then you know, 514 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 2: it all kind of depends on the context. But it's 515 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,000 Speaker 2: nice to sweet of you to worry about your friend. 516 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,000 Speaker 2: I don't think that this is any It's not the 517 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 2: worst decisions she could ever make that would ruin her 518 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 2: life forever. But yeah, as long as she's weighing all 519 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,280 Speaker 2: the pros and cons and is doing it for the 520 00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 2: right reasons, then it can be a better option than 521 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,320 Speaker 2: you know, taking out an expensive loan which you can't 522 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,919 Speaker 2: even do for a down payment, or borrowing money from 523 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:31,160 Speaker 2: family and friends, which can be awkward. So so yeah, thanks, 524 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 2: miss d We have a nosy question from a listener. 525 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,480 Speaker 1: Oh yes, Between d Be and nosy, but I have 526 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: friend and it's the nosy episodes. 527 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 2: This will again a little personal. So this is from 528 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,200 Speaker 2: anonymous too, couldn't even couldn't even give us her real name, 529 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,320 Speaker 2: but wants to get something for us, but nothing in return. Anyway, 530 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,159 Speaker 2: anonymous listener, she says, how and when did you guys 531 00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:58,640 Speaker 2: meet your husband's I'm a forty eight year old woman 532 00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,399 Speaker 2: living in Boston, and I sometimes wonder when when am 533 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 2: I ever going to meet my future husband. Please give 534 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,879 Speaker 2: me any advice and ideas that you can as to 535 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 2: how and where you meet good quality men. 536 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 1: Oh, this is like such a departure for what we 537 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 1: normally get. 538 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 2: I like this question, a little lifestyle question. I actually, 539 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 2: I actually just read that July eighth is supposed to 540 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 2: be the day when, like online dating site see the 541 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:25,600 Speaker 2: biggest jump in activity more than Valentine's Day, trying to 542 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:31,160 Speaker 2: get that summer boo Oh, that's hilarious, trying to get 543 00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,879 Speaker 2: someone who has air conditioning. 544 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:37,399 Speaker 1: Trying to lay up in the in the ac. Okay, 545 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: so I'll go first. I actually when I met Superman, 546 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,159 Speaker 1: he was just like a guy that worked in the building, 547 00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:45,919 Speaker 1: Like I thought, you know, I guess I thought he 548 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,719 Speaker 1: was handsome, but I honestly, at the time I had 549 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:49,240 Speaker 1: a boyfriend who I thought I was going to get 550 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 1: married to, and Superman was maintenance man. Honestly, in this 551 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 1: both of us worked in the bottom of the well. 552 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,880 Speaker 1: He worked the whole building, but my daycare center where 553 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 1: I worked at the bottom of this project building and 554 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: the worst section of New York. It was not pleasant. 555 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 1: The kids were awesome, though, and so like I loved 556 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 1: working there because the kids were amazing and Superman was 557 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,120 Speaker 1: one of the maintenance guys. So you know, like I said, 558 00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 1: I vaguely remember thinking like, oh, yeah, he's hands down, 559 00:27:16,840 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 1: But at the time, I was like all loved up 560 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,160 Speaker 1: with my then boyfriend, who, like I said, I thought 561 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,399 Speaker 1: it was gonna marry and then, and I think Superman 562 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:28,480 Speaker 1: was in a relationship then. I don't know, but like him, 563 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,399 Speaker 1: like all the other kind of like guys in the building, 564 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,320 Speaker 1: they would come by and fix things in the in 565 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: the center if it needed to be fixed. One thing 566 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 1: I do remember about him was that I remember thinking 567 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,320 Speaker 1: he reminded me of you remember coming to America, Prince Hakeen. 568 00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:46,240 Speaker 1: The way he was mopping the floor in like in mcgowel's. 569 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 2: Was it was that Eddie Murphy's Oh no, yeah, ye yeah, yeah, 570 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:49,639 Speaker 2: yeah yeah Eddie Murphy the other. 571 00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:51,760 Speaker 1: Guy, right, no, no, it was Eddie Murphy. It was like, 572 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,960 Speaker 1: uh so, like so Prince Taki right. So that that's 573 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:58,160 Speaker 1: the one distinct thing I remember is that I remember 574 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: that the difference between watching him work and like the 575 00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,680 Speaker 1: other guy's work. I remember just being struck by he 576 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,359 Speaker 1: even if no one was watching or he couldn't visibly 577 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:09,879 Speaker 1: see somebody watching, he took just so much pride in 578 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,720 Speaker 1: his work and that just struck me for some reason. 579 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:16,600 Speaker 1: And then like Facebook played match maker, like I don't know, 580 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,479 Speaker 1: we must have been at our twenties whatever. But then 581 00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: when I was thirty, I broke it up, like with 582 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 1: my with my guy, I thought I was gonna marry 583 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,480 Speaker 1: and I was all like, oh my life. And I 584 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:28,880 Speaker 1: told myself I was gonna get back out there because 585 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 1: we had been broken up for a year or two. 586 00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: And Facebook said, hey, you know people that you might 587 00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,480 Speaker 1: know and he popped up and I was like ooh. 588 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: I remember I remember thinking like, oh, this guy is cute, 589 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 1: and I was like, wait, is that that guy from 590 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 1: the he's a daycare Center and I was like, oh 591 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,720 Speaker 1: it is. I was like, ooh, so he's not a stranger. 592 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 1: So I friended him and then it turned out it 593 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: was like his birthday. His birthday was the day before, 594 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,680 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, happy birthday. I owe you 595 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,120 Speaker 1: some ice cream. I was trying to be cute, but 596 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 1: I was like, hey, I never asked the guy out, 597 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: and him being fast behind that, he was was like, okay, 598 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: I'm free tomorrow. I was like, and we ended up 599 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: going out for ice cream, and I remember being like, Wow, 600 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,760 Speaker 1: he's really nice. He's a throwback Superman. He's like even 601 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 1: though he was like born and raised and like the 602 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:12,160 Speaker 1: projects of New York. 603 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 2: Say that again, because something happened. 604 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: Oh okay, I said that. You know, Superman is real throwback, 605 00:29:18,560 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 1: like even though he was born and raised on like 606 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 1: the projects of Newark, like he there's just something about him. 607 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 1: And so one thing I had to get over because 608 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,640 Speaker 1: I have my master's and he didn't go to college. 609 00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,520 Speaker 1: And my parents, of course were thrilled that their Nigerian 610 00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 1: daughter was dating a non Nigerian and then someone who 611 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 1: didn't have a college degree. But what I really love 612 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: about Superman is that he is like one of the 613 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:45,640 Speaker 1: kindest people that I know, Like everybody in the neighborhood 614 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,600 Speaker 1: knows him. Like I like, literally, we were driving home 615 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 1: the other night and I saw that a car was 616 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 1: pulled over in the side of the road and there's 617 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 1: a woman standing out there, and I knew already it 618 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,960 Speaker 1: was already late, and I thought to myself, I said, oh, 619 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,120 Speaker 1: we're gonna pull over, because I could just see him 620 00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: looking like, oh my gosh, someone's their car has stopped. 621 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: And then he saw that there was like two guys 622 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: with her, so he kept going and he saw that 623 00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: they were helping her with her with her car. But 624 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,560 Speaker 1: that's him, Like I could be sitting watching TV and 625 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 1: he'll bust to the door. He's like, vibes, we have 626 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,160 Speaker 1: apple sauce. I'm like what, And then there's a troop 627 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:18,480 Speaker 1: of kids behind him, and so I it took me. 628 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:19,960 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, it took me a minute to 629 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 1: let go of the fact that he wasn't traditionally what 630 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,680 Speaker 1: I thought that I would end up with, you know, 631 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,560 Speaker 1: because although he's super sweet, he's also hood just from 632 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: like you know, and so it but I dated like 633 00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 1: a number of guys and one of the reasons why 634 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,360 Speaker 1: the guy who I thought I was gonna marry we 635 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: didn't work out is because I at the time, I 636 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 1: knew I wanted something more, and I was working on trying. 637 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:45,720 Speaker 1: I knew something in me said, I want to do 638 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 1: more than just teach at the stay Care center. There's 639 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 1: something else. But he loved the fact that I was 640 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,640 Speaker 1: a teacher and just came home and like looked after him. 641 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 1: And I didn't want that kind of life. And what 642 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:58,440 Speaker 1: I love about Superman is that he always encourages me 643 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 1: to do more, Like his only question is how can 644 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 1: I help? And so I had to let all of 645 00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,080 Speaker 1: the fact that, like, yes, maybe traditionally we don't match up, 646 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: but when it comes to emotionally, he's my perfect match, 647 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: you know, And so I don't know. I always tell 648 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,760 Speaker 1: women that, you know, whoever your match might be, might not, 649 00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:16,719 Speaker 1: you know, might not on the outside, I mean Superman, 650 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 1: I mean he's really handsome, but you know, I wasn't 651 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,080 Speaker 1: counting on that. I'm like, oh yes, but like other 652 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 1: than that, like you know, everything else doesn't match up. 653 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,920 Speaker 1: The way we grew up doesn't match up, our backgrounds 654 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: don't match up, But it's just the perfect match. So 655 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,840 Speaker 1: that's my love story with Superman. 656 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 2: It's a good story. I felt I was getting tucked in. 657 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:46,480 Speaker 2: Tell me again about to take care and the maintenance man. No, 658 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: I've only met him a few times, but he's very 659 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 2: very nice, you can tell. And I met some of 660 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 2: us hood friends too. Just say they are as described. Yes, 661 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,240 Speaker 2: I was like, we all know I'm Tiffany's Fringy'll better 662 00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:06,600 Speaker 2: show up, all right anyway? So for yeah, I feel 663 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:09,600 Speaker 2: for her question. She's in her late forties. I think 664 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 2: it's hard. I mean, I think obviously with the older 665 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,880 Speaker 2: you get, I think the perception is that it's going 666 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 2: to be really hard to find people and find someone 667 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 2: to date. But listen, I've seen my mom get married 668 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:23,400 Speaker 2: twice and she's in her fifties now. If my mom 669 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,440 Speaker 2: can do it, anybody can. And she's never really given 670 00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 2: up on love, and she's she finally found the one 671 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,240 Speaker 2: for her. And she's she's almost sixty now, so she 672 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 2: just got read married last year. She actually married her 673 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,240 Speaker 2: high school sweetheart and her previous husband she had met 674 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:42,080 Speaker 2: on I think match dot com, okay and taking a 675 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:44,560 Speaker 2: page out of my mom's book, I met my husband 676 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:50,320 Speaker 2: on Okay Cupid way back in twenty of twelve when 677 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,280 Speaker 2: okay cubid was like the hot stuff, and now I 678 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 2: feel old because no one uses it as people use it. 679 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 2: But it's like there's Tinder and there's Bumble, and there's 680 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 2: all these new apps that are out there. Now I'm 681 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 2: all about online dating. I know so many couples who 682 00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,200 Speaker 2: have met each other on Tinder, on okay Cupid. I've 683 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 2: been to several online dating success weddings, and I think 684 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,800 Speaker 2: especially if you're and you're in a big city like 685 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,240 Speaker 2: bostonick I, you know, I feel that way about New York. 686 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 2: It's hard to meet people, you know, in these big 687 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:20,840 Speaker 2: cities where everyone seems like they're in their own world 688 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 2: and it's hard to like have a you know, strike 689 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,240 Speaker 2: up a conversation. But I'm I'm all about online dating. 690 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:28,000 Speaker 2: If you haven't tried it, I say, give it a try. 691 00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 2: I also feel like classic advice do what you love doing, 692 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,480 Speaker 2: like be out there in the world doing what you 693 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,680 Speaker 2: do love doing, and hopefully you'll meet someone who's kind 694 00:33:37,720 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 2: of crossing your path. And then I wish when when 695 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,000 Speaker 2: Tiffany I was like noding my head when you were 696 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:47,200 Speaker 2: talking about how like what you the expectation that you have. 697 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 2: Sometimes it can hurt, I think when you're looking for 698 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,560 Speaker 2: a partner, because I have I definitely have a girlfriend 699 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,120 Speaker 2: or two or not just girlfriends. But people I've seen 700 00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 2: who are very like like, they're expectations are so outrageous 701 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,240 Speaker 2: that I mean, I hate to be a guy dating 702 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,080 Speaker 2: this person because they're kind of coming in as a 703 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,360 Speaker 2: loser already because they can't sort of meet the high expectations. 704 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,319 Speaker 2: So yeah, I always looked at like my husband as 705 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,440 Speaker 2: a good investment, like maybe there's some things that can 706 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:20,920 Speaker 2: be improved, this is going to get me in trouble, 707 00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 2: but like I always saw the solid return on investment 708 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:27,839 Speaker 2: potential with them. With my husband, like, he a same thing, 709 00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,759 Speaker 2: very very like all the all the basics of what 710 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:37,360 Speaker 2: you want, like good human being professionally successful, you know, ambitious, 711 00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:39,239 Speaker 2: but not so ambitious that we were going to be 712 00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:43,200 Speaker 2: at odds with one another because with our careers, very 713 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,360 Speaker 2: fambul oriented and he had a lot of good friends. 714 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,360 Speaker 2: That was my that was my checklist, checked all those boxes, 715 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,040 Speaker 2: Like just if you just become just get basic about 716 00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,279 Speaker 2: what you're looking for, yes, because that's all you need 717 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:56,839 Speaker 2: at the end of the day. Just someone who's nice 718 00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,399 Speaker 2: to you and reliable. Yeah, And and. 719 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,000 Speaker 1: I wanted somebody who wanted was going to make the 720 00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,440 Speaker 1: effort like in the beginning, like like most women, you know, 721 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,440 Speaker 1: I had all these checklists, like you said, Nanny, I'm 722 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 1: like and this and this and this and this. And 723 00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:09,920 Speaker 1: I realized no one was going to live up to that. 724 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 1: And someone asked me, girl, are you even that? And 725 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:16,239 Speaker 1: I was like, oh wait, that was a read. And 726 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,680 Speaker 1: so I then a girlfriend really asked me, She's like, 727 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:23,160 Speaker 1: what are the core things? Like really core things? And honestly, 728 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,240 Speaker 1: when I looked at the core things, like college degree 729 00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,440 Speaker 1: for me wasn't on there because I had gone through 730 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 1: and dated like all of these guys who were like 731 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,719 Speaker 1: successful and whatever. And so when I realized what was 732 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,839 Speaker 1: missing from those relationships, when I really wanted somebody won 733 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,640 Speaker 1: who was intrinsically kind. I remember that was so big 734 00:35:41,680 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 1: to me because I had dated guys who when we 735 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,080 Speaker 1: were together, they were amazing, so sweet, and then we 736 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:48,400 Speaker 1: went when we started to break up whatever, it was like, 737 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,080 Speaker 1: who is this guy? He's terrible, you know, And I thought, Wow, 738 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,279 Speaker 1: I want someone who is not just kind because they're 739 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 1: with me or they love me. But that's like kindness 740 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,520 Speaker 1: is their default. That that was critical to me. And 741 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:03,759 Speaker 1: that's what I see in Superman is that, like his 742 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: default is kindness. So like even when like you know, 743 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:10,839 Speaker 1: we have Supermom who's super Supergirls, my my bonus daughter, 744 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 1: her mother. So even if they don't get along for 745 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,360 Speaker 1: whatever read I mean, honestly, they've got a really great relationship, 746 00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,960 Speaker 1: but let's just say, you know, they have a difference 747 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 1: about like who's going to pay for back to school 748 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,240 Speaker 1: clothes or whatever, you know, but then his his default 749 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:27,720 Speaker 1: is always kindness. So seeing that, I was like, wow, 750 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,759 Speaker 1: I knew I wanted that. And also too, I wanted 751 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,920 Speaker 1: somebody who's going to make the effort because I found, 752 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,560 Speaker 1: like you know, dating, sometimes guys were so lazy. I'm like, well, dang, 753 00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,560 Speaker 1: can you do something? And so like Superman really makes 754 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,799 Speaker 1: the effort to make me feel special. Like if I 755 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:42,640 Speaker 1: come home, like when I come back from Essence Pest, 756 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: I already know what's going to happen. One, the house 757 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,680 Speaker 1: is going to be immaculate, because he always feels like 758 00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:48,400 Speaker 1: if I come home from like a work trip, I 759 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,520 Speaker 1: should come home to not have to having to do work. 760 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,000 Speaker 1: Two there's going to be food. Three, the AC will 761 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 1: be on in the room, and like my nightgown will 762 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 1: be like laid on the bed because he knows as 763 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,759 Speaker 1: soon as I come home from a flight, I alway 764 00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 1: I don't care if I slept on the flight. I 765 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:01,920 Speaker 1: always want to sleep. Like that's such sweet effort. 766 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 2: You know. 767 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:03,560 Speaker 1: He's always like, I'm sorry I don't buy you stuff. 768 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't care about that stuff, like I 769 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,880 Speaker 1: love that, you know. And so once I got clear 770 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 1: on like the core core things that I needed, you know, 771 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,840 Speaker 1: because I remember my dad was like, yeah, but I 772 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 1: always wanted you to marry somebody who was gonna, like, 773 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 1: you know, be able to take care of you financially. 774 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,600 Speaker 1: And honestly, the truth of the matter is, I mean 775 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,560 Speaker 1: it's not like Superman is not broke. We actually live 776 00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,120 Speaker 1: off his income. We just save and invest. Mind, you know, 777 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:26,600 Speaker 1: it's just like does he make more than me? No? 778 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,239 Speaker 1: But I was sad to tell my dad the truth is, 779 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,400 Speaker 1: like the point where I am now is my businesses. 780 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,320 Speaker 1: I mean, even if I was dating a doctor or 781 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,200 Speaker 1: a lawyer, they're not gonna they're not making more than me. 782 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,319 Speaker 1: So like what are we like? Am I who am 783 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,600 Speaker 1: I dating Like it's you know, so I'm not dating 784 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:42,759 Speaker 1: for that. So but honestly, now my parents love him 785 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,000 Speaker 1: and it's funny to hear them say his name with 786 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:49,480 Speaker 1: his with their Nigerian action. How's y'all hauts done. I'm like, like, 787 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 1: he's fine, and my sisters have always loved him, like 788 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:53,960 Speaker 1: he's just always been like they know they need to 789 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,320 Speaker 1: move something or something is broken or whatever, cause superman 790 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 1: come buy and help. I'm like, look, y'all, he is 791 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,359 Speaker 1: not your your personal handyman. Maybe I'll come by and help. 792 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:07,080 Speaker 1: But yeah, so just like just be open and don't 793 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,080 Speaker 1: let your family tell you, because I mean, if it 794 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,840 Speaker 1: was up to my family, I would have been by myself. 795 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,080 Speaker 1: My dad finally came around and realized, like, my rules 796 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:15,920 Speaker 1: are going to keep tiffany single forever. I was like, well, 797 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:18,080 Speaker 1: not me, Like I was gonna choose regardless. You were 798 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,839 Speaker 1: going to have to come along, and I knew if 799 00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:21,680 Speaker 1: I spit out a baby, he was going to be like, yes, 800 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:23,759 Speaker 1: I'm coming back around. But luckily he didn't have to 801 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:25,840 Speaker 1: wait till that. But don't let your family choose for you. 802 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,239 Speaker 1: Don't let them shame you into picking a choice. That 803 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:30,480 Speaker 1: they think is right for you. Pick your own choice 804 00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:35,120 Speaker 1: based upon your core core values, you know, not based 805 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,040 Speaker 1: upon what you think society is going to say or think. 806 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,360 Speaker 2: Amen, Sista. And also being in your forties, just to 807 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,280 Speaker 2: talk about earning and like for I mean, at this point, 808 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 2: you probably have a career, don't You're not looking for 809 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,200 Speaker 2: someone to support you, which even like takes off a 810 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,000 Speaker 2: layer of like it might even make things easier because 811 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,200 Speaker 2: there's not like this burden that you're putting on your 812 00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,960 Speaker 2: partner to like need to have a you know, need 813 00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,479 Speaker 2: to be supporting you or whatever, and you can find 814 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:02,879 Speaker 2: someone hopefully who's as established in their career. So you're 815 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:04,439 Speaker 2: just like, I don't know, being in your I'm looking 816 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,000 Speaker 2: forward to being in my forties honestly because I feel 817 00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,759 Speaker 2: like it'll just be a time when things are kind 818 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,359 Speaker 2: of like they've you've gone through your thirties and like 819 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,319 Speaker 2: all the you know, all the rat race and like 820 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,279 Speaker 2: trying to get established. And I'm hoping by the time 821 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,000 Speaker 2: in my forties and fifties and just like in a good, 822 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:22,920 Speaker 2: like secure place and hopefully you find a partner who's 823 00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:27,239 Speaker 2: like in a secure place emotionally and career wise, and 824 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,400 Speaker 2: then can just be even more devoted to you and 825 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:30,279 Speaker 2: your relationship. 826 00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 1: And I'll let you know. I'm only two years away, 827 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 1: so I'll let you know how it is when I 828 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:35,400 Speaker 1: get there. 829 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,200 Speaker 2: All right, Yeah, you let me know. That's part of 830 00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:40,520 Speaker 2: my plan. I'm gonna let you get there first and 831 00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 2: then tell me how, tell me how the weather is 832 00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,880 Speaker 2: up there, or if I should just stay here at 833 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 2: thirty right. 834 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:46,879 Speaker 1: Oh, you know, as a matter of fact, if you 835 00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,880 Speaker 1: are in your forties, tweet us. Let us know, igs, 836 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,480 Speaker 1: let us know how it is. And like, you know, 837 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:54,799 Speaker 1: was there a big shift when you turn forty? Like 838 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:56,720 Speaker 1: you know, a girl can't I might tell me nothing 839 00:39:57,200 --> 00:40:00,399 Speaker 1: like or was it like like thirties? Plus I'd love 840 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 1: to know for some of our listeners that are already 841 00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:04,160 Speaker 1: already on the other side. 842 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,759 Speaker 2: Or if you're dating in your forties, dating at all, 843 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,319 Speaker 2: Like where do you guys meet men? Are you rolling 844 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,480 Speaker 2: your eyes at me? Because I said online dating it works. 845 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 2: I've seen it work. Sometimes you gotta like sometimes you 846 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,759 Speaker 2: just gotta, you know, put the universe just give it 847 00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:21,120 Speaker 2: a little help, you know exactly. 848 00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:27,279 Speaker 1: It's like hello from the other side. 849 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,279 Speaker 2: All right, Anonymous, Well, thank you for sending your question again. 850 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,960 Speaker 2: You guys, hit us up at Branhambisson podcast dot com 851 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,640 Speaker 2: and click ask us anything to send us a question 852 00:40:36,719 --> 00:40:40,000 Speaker 2: of your own. You can remain anonymous, just let me 853 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,600 Speaker 2: know in the in the email, or I will say 854 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:43,440 Speaker 2: your name out loud. 855 00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:50,799 Speaker 1: Yes, please me that I wanted. I can see you 856 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,840 Speaker 1: as a mom. You're like, they're like, heang, Mom, that 857 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,360 Speaker 1: was dark. You're like, ooh, sorry, that was yeah. 858 00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 2: I really you know, that's why Drikue is a nice one. 859 00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,640 Speaker 1: You the stuff that my dad used to say. I'm like, 860 00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that's not the translation. You were looking 861 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,120 Speaker 1: forward to English, Like maybe if my dad was gonna 862 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,799 Speaker 1: say something like you know you girl, like you know, 863 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 1: behave yourself, Tiffany, you don't want to get a spanking. 864 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,240 Speaker 1: But when it translated from like I guess ebo to English, 865 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:20,080 Speaker 1: I'm like, uh, did you try to kill me? My 866 00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,080 Speaker 1: mother would be like, like calling him by his nickname, 867 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:28,719 Speaker 1: she has said that's not how you say it, and 868 00:41:28,719 --> 00:41:30,520 Speaker 1: she's like he just means fake. I'm like, either way, 869 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:36,680 Speaker 1: I'm out of here. Bla yes, lost in translation. 870 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:41,480 Speaker 2: Okay, we have a happy Fourth of July. Half on 871 00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:42,759 Speaker 2: at Essence Fest. 872 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: I will I can't wait. It's going to be fun. 873 00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:46,400 Speaker 2: Tell all our fans. 874 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,280 Speaker 1: I said, Hi, Yes, he's like no, yes, please come 875 00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,160 Speaker 1: and like you know what, we'll take pictures so we 876 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 1: can send them to Mandy. 877 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:54,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, i'll post him on the gram. 878 00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,320 Speaker 1: Yes. Oh that'll be fun. Yes, I'll do that. 879 00:41:57,560 --> 00:42:02,000 Speaker 2: I'll be around. Stay say you see some fireworks. Stay warm, 880 00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,719 Speaker 2: I mean stay cool ship, don't stay warm, my god. 881 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 1: It's too late, too late. 882 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,799 Speaker 2: Just to crank up the AC and go to sleep. 883 00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:11,719 Speaker 1: All right, mandra until next week. 884 00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,359 Speaker 2: Stay Brown nailed it. 885 00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:17,000 Speaker 1: Bye? 886 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 2: Did you do this for a living? You're good at 887 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:19,120 Speaker 2: it