1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,519 Speaker 1: Welcome to Stuff Mob Never Told You. From how Supports 2 00:00:06,519 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: dot com. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Kristen 3 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: and I'm Caroline. And over the past few weeks on 4 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: the podcast, we have been delving into the world of 5 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 1: women in exploration and women adventurers who are going all 6 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: around the world doing all sorts of incredible things. And 7 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: to close out this series, partially because it's summer travel 8 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: season and partially because it just seems like the right 9 00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: and natural thing to talk about, is the issue of 10 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: women traveling alone, women's wanderlust, what it is like, whether 11 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: you are a stem explorer or someone who wants to 12 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 1: climb the highest mountain in the world or not. Just 13 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:57,120 Speaker 1: women leaving their homes to see something they have never 14 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: seen and doing that alone. It's it's a super big 15 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: deal to a lot of people for women to be 16 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: traveling by themselves, whether we're talking about women today, uh, 17 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:11,840 Speaker 1: women in a golden age of expiration so like the 18 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: nineteenth century, or whether we're talking about women in fourth 19 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,600 Speaker 1: in the fourth century. Yeah. Susan Jacob at The New 20 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:22,440 Speaker 1: York Times writes about how women traveling alone has always 21 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: been looked at a little suspiciously because there immediately all 22 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: of these questions raised that essentially repeat over and over again, Well, 23 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,760 Speaker 1: why would a woman want to travel alone? What is 24 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 1: wrong with her? And she mentions how in the fourth century, 25 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: Christian pilgrims were the first quote unquote respectable women who 26 00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:49,960 Speaker 1: traveled alone, and really, for a long time, religious pilgrimages 27 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: and family emergencies were the only situations when it was 28 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: socially appropriate for a woman to set off on her 29 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 1: own and without any kind of chaperone or male companion. Yeah, 30 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,360 Speaker 1: God forbid a woman travels without some sort of male protection, 31 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: because everybody's going to assume, whether we're talking about the 32 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: fourth century or whether we're talking about today, people are 33 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: going to make some crazy assumptions as far as like 34 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: her sexuality goes. For instance, people are gonna think like 35 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 1: she's a loose woman, that Uterus is floating about making 36 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: her crazy, or she's just terribly lonely. She's either she's 37 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: either hyper sexual and looking for anonymous sex, or she 38 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: is just desperate and lost in the world, or maybe both. Yeah, 39 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 1: and and Jacoby writes about these this, this trope of 40 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: the solo woman traveler and talks about how even today 41 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 1: we have these lingering, internalized stereotypes about what it means 42 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,320 Speaker 1: for a woman to travel unencumbered and unaided by a 43 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: man or family entourage. And this is something that Sarah 44 00:02:57,080 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: Heppola over at Salon echoed. She talks about how a 45 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: woman traveling alone threatens tradition and propriety, and because women 46 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,519 Speaker 1: often doubt themselves, we tend to stay towards safe harbors 47 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:13,880 Speaker 1: and soft landings, hiding behind the needs and wants of others. 48 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,560 Speaker 1: And it was really in the mid nineteenth century, which 49 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: is considered by some the golden Age of female travel, 50 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: that more and more women, particularly well healed women, started 51 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: to brave away from those safe harbors and soft landings. 52 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: And it was partially due to advancements in transportation technology. 53 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: You have steamships and railroads that made travel more feasible. Yeah, 54 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:44,160 Speaker 1: and this allows women to go forth to explore, to 55 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: learn to see the unseen, and therefore gained some autonomy 56 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: break some of those gender norms that status quo. And 57 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: this is particularly true though, and we would be remiss 58 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,680 Speaker 1: to skip over this. It's particularly true for white middle 59 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: class women. There's a lot of privilege at play when 60 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,280 Speaker 1: you talk about exploration particularly during this area of this era, 61 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,880 Speaker 1: because when you look at men, for instance, white upper 62 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 1: class men traveling abroad, seeing the Empire, their heroes, their heroes, 63 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: and the way they talk about the quote unquote natives 64 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 1: is very patronizing. It's very like racist, very racist as well. 65 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: But you know what a lot of women during that time, 66 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: especially the upper class white women who were traveling the 67 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: Empire as well. I mean, they weren't that far off either, 68 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: and they by leaving the gender norms of the modern West, 69 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: they were able to go into these you know, so 70 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: called uncivilized societies and feel as though they were at 71 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 1: the top of some power hierarchy. Yeah, it was interesting 72 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 1: that if you read a lot of the travel women's 73 00:04:55,279 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 1: travel writings at the time, a it is usually coming 74 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:02,120 Speaker 1: from women who could afford to travel, and so you 75 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: have that element of privilege going on there, and then 76 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 1: you have the element of white privilege going on. But 77 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 1: you also have the subtext of them starting to question 78 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: their female status, their gender role in the West because 79 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:22,280 Speaker 1: in these other places, due to these elements of privilege, 80 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: they are higher on the hierarchy than they are at home. 81 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: And this is something that Aziza Ahmed writing for the 82 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: post Colonial Studies Department at Emory talks about saying that 83 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: the East was seen and that's capital e east. The 84 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: East was seen as a place for women to regain 85 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 1: power through race, which was lost at home because of gender. 86 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:51,320 Speaker 1: And while that is that's not that's not necessarily something 87 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: to celebrate because it's obviously like the indigenous people who 88 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,919 Speaker 1: are being thrown under the bus, uh for the sake 89 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 1: of a woman finding herself a little bit more. But 90 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: but it's it's an interesting snapshot of the time of 91 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:11,200 Speaker 1: how it's sort of the socio cultural element of travel 92 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,520 Speaker 1: in the mid nineteenth century when these women were going 93 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:19,960 Speaker 1: out in corsets and skirts and heavy clothes and hats 94 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:25,200 Speaker 1: and going into these what they would call uncivilized foreign lens. Well, 95 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 1: you know, Kristen, you mentioned so as they go to 96 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: other lands and travel and see other things, and they 97 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: they find themselves on top of this perceived hierarchy, and 98 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: how that translated into the perception of how they were 99 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: treated at home. I mean, if we talk about explorers 100 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 1: the way we have defined it so far in this 101 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 1: series explores being those people who have to go out 102 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 1: and they have to find answers. I mean, it's not 103 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:54,160 Speaker 1: as if women who did and wanted to research, It's 104 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 1: not like they were welcomed into explorers groups. So a 105 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 1: lot of the time, if you were a woman who 106 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: had scientific or mathematical or anything leaning you you kind 107 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: of did have to pick up and leave and go 108 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 1: elsewhere to perform research. Yeah, this was a lot of 109 00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 1: kind of anthropological research happening under the guise of just 110 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,400 Speaker 1: being a wealthy woman traveling. And there were a lot 111 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: of popular women travel writers at this time, which is 112 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: which is a little surprising that they were so well received, 113 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: but I guess it was because they were bringing back 114 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,160 Speaker 1: news of an unknown land. And so you have people 115 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 1: like Isabella bird Lady, Mary Wortley Montague, and Mary Kingsley 116 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,680 Speaker 1: who wrote a lot and made their names in their 117 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 1: travel writing, which again tended toward objectifying indigenous people and 118 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: their quote unquote savage ways. And talking about these women's 119 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: writing um a lot of the time, and I'm not 120 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:57,320 Speaker 1: saying that this applies specifically to the women Christen decided, 121 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 1: but a lot of the times these women travel writers 122 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: would sort of maybe embellish a little, maybe make the 123 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: native people's seem more savage or uh, sort of outside 124 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,760 Speaker 1: the norm than they really were, and so these travel 125 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 1: logs attracted a lot of attention, and uh Rachel Friedman 126 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 1: over at Bitch cites Lady Helen Defriends eighteen sixty three 127 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: satiric Listings from Low Latitudes, which basically makes fun of 128 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:31,120 Speaker 1: this trend of women travel writers and their travel logs. 129 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: She writes about a trip made by the fictional Impulsia Gushington, 130 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,560 Speaker 1: who when I first was skimming over this article, I 131 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 1: was like, there was a woman named Impulse. Okay, I 132 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: get it. I did the same thing. It's like that's 133 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:47,000 Speaker 1: the worst name, but I get it. Um, But Impulse 134 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: thea sort of stood in as a figure mocking the 135 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: era's upper class female travelers in their wide eyed, sort 136 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,360 Speaker 1: of naive and shocked observations about the people that they 137 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: encountered in foreign land. But it also served to sort of, 138 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,439 Speaker 1: I don't know, I think it kind of served as 139 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 1: a backlash to women having this freedom, Like how weird 140 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: are you? You're writing all of this like trite stuff 141 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: about traveling and how you're so special and how they're 142 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:19,160 Speaker 1: so shocking, and but the thing is, dufferin A is 143 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:23,800 Speaker 1: a woman writing this satire and b was inspired to 144 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:27,880 Speaker 1: write about Impulsia Gushington, which I don't know. I find 145 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,480 Speaker 1: out they're very funny, Dufferin, You're quite a whit, But 146 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 1: it was she was inspired to write this after taking 147 00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: a trip down the Nile, which was a very postionateing 148 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,080 Speaker 1: to do at the time with her son, so she 149 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: herself a travel writer. To me, it read as what 150 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 1: today would be a satire on Eat, Pray, Love, you know, 151 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: essentially saying, oh, here we have another white woman going 152 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: into a foreign land to find herself. If only we 153 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,240 Speaker 1: could talk to Dufferin. Yeah, if we could get different 154 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: on the podcast, that could clear some things up for us. Right. 155 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: But there's another book that we found from eighteen sixty 156 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 1: five called Women Adventurers, written by Meni Muriel Downey, in 157 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 1: which she profiles I think it's five women travelers of 158 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: the day, and she writes those in our book followed 159 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 1: husbands and lovers for love, so they say how much 160 00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,960 Speaker 1: more might be made of their stories if only they 161 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: themselves were not the narrators. Basically, she was saying, it's 162 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,640 Speaker 1: just too bad that these women were not alone traveling, 163 00:10:35,679 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: because if women are out alone traveling, then you know, 164 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,560 Speaker 1: they realized so much more instead of just following men. 165 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,319 Speaker 1: And that's still the refrain now. Yeah, I mean absolutely 166 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: every You know, when you read uh, travel essays by 167 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: young women on various websites, various travel magazines, etcetera, etcetera, 168 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 1: you know a lot of them do talk about these 169 00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 1: personal journeys of discovery, discovery of the themselves, discovery of 170 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:06,600 Speaker 1: new places, discovery perhaps of a future husband or temporary lover. Right, 171 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,199 Speaker 1: But I bet how rich the experience was for them 172 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: to go on their own. Yeah, And for that reason, 173 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:17,800 Speaker 1: I would say that in the early twenty first century 174 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:21,199 Speaker 1: where we are today, that we might be in this 175 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: golden er age of female travel and travel writing, because 176 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:32,640 Speaker 1: you have more women than ever before traveling alone. Uh 177 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: And Friedman, for instance, reported in New York Magazine a 178 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 1: two thousand thirteen poll of travel agents which found that 179 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,680 Speaker 1: it's much more common for women to travel alone than men, 180 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: and seventy of the agents they pulled noted that more 181 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 1: female travelers embark on solo trips in their male counterparts, 182 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: and the average age of a solo traveler is not 183 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: the young woman fresh out of college, but a forty 184 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 1: seven in year old female. Yeah. And usually, uh, you know, 185 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: something has happened in her life that's pushed her out 186 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 1: on this journey, whether it's just divorced or maybe the 187 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 1: death of a loved one or parent. And I mean, 188 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,439 Speaker 1: I think those reasons, even if those are things specific 189 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,360 Speaker 1: to a certain age group, I mean, I think that 190 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:22,800 Speaker 1: those major life changes are what push a lot of 191 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,199 Speaker 1: people out into the world on a journey of discovery. 192 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:29,520 Speaker 1: And that reminds me of reading that Bitch article by 193 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:33,240 Speaker 1: Rachel Friedman in which she talks to a travel expert 194 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: who started leading workshops for women travelers, and her main 195 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: demographic was women in their forties and fifties who, Yeah, 196 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 1: I had like hit some kind of dramatic point in 197 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: their life and just felt the need to flee. And 198 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,280 Speaker 1: I felt that before, just like I need to get 199 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: on a plane and be in a place that looks 200 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: nothing like my home as soon as humanly possible. And 201 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: I don't want anyone I know to come with me. 202 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: Yeah no, I um I after going through a breakup, 203 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,600 Speaker 1: well it was actually like a super like tripoli doubly 204 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:14,120 Speaker 1: traumatic thing of heartbreak for so many. Anyway, I ended 205 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,079 Speaker 1: up hopping in the car and just driving to Charleston, 206 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 1: South Carolina, by myself and just wandering around and eating 207 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: all the food and seeing all the sites because I 208 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: was like, I just don't want to I just don't 209 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,559 Speaker 1: want to talk to anybody. I don't want to be 210 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,080 Speaker 1: at home, you know, I want to go out and 211 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 1: think about things for a little while. Well, and people 212 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:31,120 Speaker 1: might say, but Caroline, weren't you so lonely eating all 213 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 1: of the food by yourself? No, no, Yeah. I did 214 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,560 Speaker 1: a similar thing after a friend of mine died in 215 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 1: a very tragic car accident, and my knee jerk reaction 216 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,440 Speaker 1: was to go to l A. I'd never been there before, 217 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,199 Speaker 1: and I went for my birthday. I also prefer to 218 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 1: spend my birthdays in places I have never been before 219 00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,120 Speaker 1: because it just makes planning so much easier. And and 220 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: like you, I just wanted to be alone. I didn't 221 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 1: want to be around anyone. I wanted to observe and 222 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,320 Speaker 1: sort of just be alone with my thoughts. And it 223 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,760 Speaker 1: felt and it was lonely at times when you're surrounded 224 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: by a lot of people, especially I think if you're 225 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 1: in morabituristy area. But it was a good kind of loneliness. Yeah, 226 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: I think that's that's the thing. I you know, I um, 227 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 1: I took a trip. I did study abroad the semester 228 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: after I graduated college, which is weird, but that summer 229 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:33,120 Speaker 1: I went to England, and then after everybody else went 230 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: back to school, I stayed over there by myself for 231 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,160 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks, just traveling and seeing the sites. 232 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:43,440 Speaker 1: And yeah, you get these like pangs, especially around meal time, 233 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:46,040 Speaker 1: like I wish somebody was sitting across the table for me. 234 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: But it's it's so nice. Also, it's it's it's a 235 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: good feeling. It's like pressing on a sore muscle almost 236 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 1: that You're like, I'm doing something for myself. I'm focusing inward. 237 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 1: I don't know not to sound too eat Pray Love 238 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:04,800 Speaker 1: about it, but speaking though of Eat Pray Love, one 239 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: of the reasons why we're seeing more women travel memoirs 240 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 1: than ever before it's become this hugely popular genre is 241 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: largely due to two thousand sevens Eat Pray Love by 242 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:22,720 Speaker 1: Elizabeth Gilbert. And I read Eat Pray Love. It might 243 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,200 Speaker 1: have been because I was also going through a breakup, 244 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,960 Speaker 1: so reading the book was perfectly timed. But I enjoyed it. 245 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know, it gets a lot of flak, 246 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: but I loved it and I cried. Yeah, I think 247 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 1: I think it gets a lot of flak from people 248 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:41,920 Speaker 1: who don't want who want to distance themselves from anything 249 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 1: that even looks or smells like chick lit. But Elizabeth 250 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:51,640 Speaker 1: Gilbert is a very respectable writer, and while there are 251 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 1: more high minded books out there, I mean, I enjoyed it. 252 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,400 Speaker 1: I've never seen the movie. I heard it was, Yeah. 253 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 1: I I've seen parts of an on TV and it's 254 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:05,280 Speaker 1: it's not great. But yeah, I think, Um, I don't know. 255 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 1: I think people need to not to get off on 256 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: a tangent. I think people need to lighten up about 257 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,960 Speaker 1: the book. It's her journey, it's her story. You can 258 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: tell yours too if you want. Yeah, I will say 259 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:18,360 Speaker 1: that I enjoyed Sheryl Strade's Wild more than Eat, Pray Love. 260 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 1: They're often held up as like the two women travel memoirs, 261 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: but they're such they're also so different yea, and written 262 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 1: from like very different times and places. And Sheryl Strad 263 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 1: goes out and hikes the Pacific Crest Trail, which is 264 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: far different than eating lots of pasta in Italy. Yeah, 265 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: And I mean people forget that women don't all have 266 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 1: one voice, although a lot of times, if you are 267 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: a woman travel writer, you're expected to have the voice 268 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 1: of other women travel writers. And so often women who 269 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 1: write these books or these essays are expected to write 270 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: about their transformation, the personal journey, that the emotion, and 271 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: not that that's bad, not that they shouldn't, but it 272 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,159 Speaker 1: is interesting to see the contrast between what women do 273 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: right and are expected to write versus what men are 274 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: expected to write and what they end up publishing. Yeah, 275 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: I feel like women's travel memoirs are also expected to 276 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 1: spring from a place of extreme heartache and despair, whereas 277 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: we can jump right in with a man on a 278 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,920 Speaker 1: road in the middle of his travels. At least that's 279 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,639 Speaker 1: what Lavinius Spaulding, who was the editor of the two 280 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 1: thousand eleven Best Women's Travel Writing Anthology, reported. She said, 281 00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 1: a lot of travel writing by men is focused on 282 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,040 Speaker 1: what I saw, did eight where I went, what goal 283 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: I accomplished, whereas with women, it's who I met, what 284 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 1: I learned, how I felt, how I changed. And that 285 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,760 Speaker 1: might be due to men and women maybe traveling different, 286 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 1: maybe traveling for different reasons. Um but it also might 287 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:57,439 Speaker 1: be due to editors and publishers sort of pushing women 288 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 1: travel writers in that type of way. Well, this this 289 00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:03,320 Speaker 1: got me thinking about the travel shows, what types of 290 00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: travel shows I enjoy watching, and like, I will watch 291 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:10,639 Speaker 1: for thirty hours at a time Anthony Bourdaine, but um, 292 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:15,200 Speaker 1: I cannot stomach Samantha Brown. And I started thinking about 293 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh no, my a woman hater and myself hater. 294 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: What's going on? Oh no? And then I thought no, no, no, 295 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,240 Speaker 1: because I would watch a women, a women's travel show 296 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,639 Speaker 1: too if it were led by a woman who was 297 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: also like Anthony Bourdine, like maybe led by too feminist 298 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: minded young podcasters, but like if you put Janine Garoffalo 299 00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:40,360 Speaker 1: on an airplane and center overseas, I would totally watch that. 300 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 1: I'm not as interested in what Samantha Brown is selling, 301 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,600 Speaker 1: you know, but then she is it because she has 302 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:50,000 Speaker 1: more of a like a gender stereotypical approach. Is that 303 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:52,080 Speaker 1: what it is? I don't know what it is. Maybe 304 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 1: she's more touristy and more like, hey, guys, like pack 305 00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,479 Speaker 1: your Fannie pack or whatever, whereas Anthony Bourdaine is very 306 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 1: much like gonna go into this back alley squid shop, 307 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,439 Speaker 1: and I'm going to eat a bunch of squid and 308 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,840 Speaker 1: then I'm going to go to a bar with the 309 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,440 Speaker 1: squid shop owner. You know. It's it's very much more 310 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 1: of like a more of it off the beaten path 311 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,639 Speaker 1: type thing. Well, and that's such a good distinction to 312 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: bring up between the traveler and the tourist, because the 313 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 1: tourist is what you never want to be. But the 314 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: traveler is the person that we you know, that that 315 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,600 Speaker 1: you want to sit next to them at a dinner 316 00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 1: party and hear all of their tales. Whereas a tourist 317 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: you're going to be like, oh no, well, so, I 318 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:37,240 Speaker 1: I think because we still even today, there is the 319 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:40,640 Speaker 1: danger of falling into that trap of still looking at 320 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,080 Speaker 1: people in the country you visit as like an exotic other, 321 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:47,040 Speaker 1: you know, And so there is that danger of falling 322 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 1: into that trap. And I I feel like it maybe 323 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: I'm wrong, but a tourist is more likely to fall 324 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 1: into that trap versus someone who is a traveler who 325 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,959 Speaker 1: is more willing to more willing and desirous of jumping 326 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,440 Speaker 1: into that culture learning all that they can, not looking 327 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:06,400 Speaker 1: at it from like a patriarchal You're this exotic other 328 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 1: I have to to encapsulate somehow and put into a box. 329 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,160 Speaker 1: But I want to join you, yeah, or I need 330 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: to come and change your problematic gender norms that that 331 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,720 Speaker 1: that I feel are like hyper repressive. Instead, a traveler 332 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: would go in and say, oh, no, actually, I am 333 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,280 Speaker 1: going to go hang out with the women and see 334 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: how they live their lives and not try to insert 335 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: myself into, uh, into their way of life, but rather 336 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 1: absorb it and learn about it. But getting back though 337 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:40,200 Speaker 1: to these differences in at least how travel writing by 338 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: men and women is marketed. Straight herself has talked about 339 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 1: how male travel stories are often seen as universal, perhaps 340 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: because of the thing of how they tend to focus 341 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:57,720 Speaker 1: on you know what I did saw eight, whereas women's 342 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,360 Speaker 1: and this goes for writing by women in general often 343 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:07,920 Speaker 1: is pigeonholed as being very particular and only for women. Um, 344 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,960 Speaker 1: and that's one reason why when she was writing Wild, 345 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:16,959 Speaker 1: she pushed for a gender neutral cover. So if you, uh, 346 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: you know, if you have a copy of Wild, you'll 347 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: see that there's a boot on the front. She was like, 348 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,199 Speaker 1: I wanted I didn't want men on the subway to 349 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 1: be embarrassed having my book out reading it. Yeah, a 350 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: lot of women authors out there. Travel writers talk about 351 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: how everybody wants everybody goes to pink first. They're like, 352 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:33,879 Speaker 1: let's make a pink cover. One author talks about how 353 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,359 Speaker 1: well I finally succeeded by getting a yellow cover. Another writer, 354 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 1: a woman of color, talks about how her travel book 355 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: was was not even given the broad audience of women. 356 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:49,399 Speaker 1: Hers was pigeonholed as African American studies. And she's like, 357 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:53,920 Speaker 1: I'm not some anthropological like study you'r you know, I'm 358 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,879 Speaker 1: a woman travel writer, Like what are you talking about? 359 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,159 Speaker 1: And I'm pretty sure. The title of her book is 360 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,359 Speaker 1: The Black girl S Guide to Traveling, which clearly is 361 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:06,320 Speaker 1: a travel book, not an African American studies book. But 362 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:10,919 Speaker 1: that also touches on our conversations about, you know, women 363 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 1: in literature and marketing and all of that. But um, 364 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,359 Speaker 1: it also leads us to these two major themes that 365 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 1: come up with women's solo traveling, where it has to 366 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 1: be both transformational and also terrifying. And so that first 367 00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:33,359 Speaker 1: theme of transformation is one that we've heard a lot about. 368 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,679 Speaker 1: We've already talked a lot about it that often a 369 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,560 Speaker 1: woman's journey that ends up being whether it's published or 370 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,639 Speaker 1: whether it's just you know, a woman who's not a 371 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 1: writer going off and traveling. It's often sparked by some 372 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: emotional moment in her life or something something like heartache 373 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 1: or trauma that sets her off on this journey of 374 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,679 Speaker 1: self discovery. And a lot of times I feel like 375 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:59,440 Speaker 1: any women's travel essay that you read, the resounding message 376 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,199 Speaker 1: is to do it because it will transform you, and 377 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 1: especially if you do it alone. You have Sarah Heppola 378 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: at Salon, who we sited earlier, who talks about how 379 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,160 Speaker 1: she essentially just got in her car and drove around 380 00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,640 Speaker 1: the United States for months alone. And you have Jill 381 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: philip Povic at The Guardian writing about how I think 382 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:22,960 Speaker 1: it was post breakup she went to Europe and Freedman, 383 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,320 Speaker 1: who we site all the time on the podcast. She's 384 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,879 Speaker 1: essentially the patron saint of Cementthi at this point. But 385 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:30,080 Speaker 1: she similarly talks about how when she was in her 386 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 1: early twenties she went traveling alone and she was nervous 387 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:38,320 Speaker 1: at first but so quickly relieved to be by herself. 388 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 1: And so there's that recurring theme over and over and 389 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: over again. Of travel fourth young woman, for it will 390 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:50,239 Speaker 1: be transformative and also feminist. Absolutely. Even Toby Israel at 391 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: Salon talks about female hitchhiking about how you, as a woman, 392 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,919 Speaker 1: you know, are much more likely to be hit by 393 00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,679 Speaker 1: a car than you are to be killed and raped 394 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:03,560 Speaker 1: a hitchhiking, And so she talks about how that was 395 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,879 Speaker 1: a major she she overcame a major hurdle of fear 396 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,600 Speaker 1: and trepidation when she decided to accept that for that 397 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,840 Speaker 1: first hitchhiking offer, and how even though there were some 398 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 1: bumps along the way, that she was so glad she 399 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,400 Speaker 1: did it. Yeah, and she ended up traveling more than 400 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 1: thirty seven thousand miles hitchhiking through Croatia, Slovenia, Austria, and Germany, 401 00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,280 Speaker 1: which I cannot fathom. I don't know if my bravery 402 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:33,399 Speaker 1: extends to the point of hitchhiking, because whether you're a 403 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: male or female, you know, how many times have we 404 00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 1: been told since we were we children to never accept 405 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:43,200 Speaker 1: her hide from strangers. Yeah, yeah, I I don't know. 406 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,120 Speaker 1: I don't know. She she does point out, like we've 407 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,000 Speaker 1: already said, she does point out that she had this 408 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: double pronged privilege of being female, so she was not 409 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: threatening to people who might stop and pick her up. Also, 410 00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,000 Speaker 1: people like couples and grandparents would stop because they felt 411 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 1: protective of this young white woman out on the side 412 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,159 Speaker 1: of the road. But also that whole white thing where 413 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 1: she enjoys the privilege of being a white female. And 414 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 1: so you know, other drivers don't, you know, feel threatened 415 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: or whatever. So she she points that out that there, 416 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:20,359 Speaker 1: it's not the same for everyone, right, um, But what 417 00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 1: does seem to be the same for a lot of 418 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 1: solo female travelers, at least according to a two thousand 419 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 1: to study out of the University of Florida, is that, Yes, indeed, 420 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 1: setting out on your own is empowering. These researchers talked 421 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: to a number of women who had traveled on their own, 422 00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: and they found that the women described the experiences is liberating, 423 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:47,399 Speaker 1: not terrifying. Even though we are often warned over and 424 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:51,159 Speaker 1: over again that oh, if you are a woman traveling alone, 425 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 1: you had better watch out. You better put on a ring, 426 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 1: better get a ripe whistle, get too, and keep it 427 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,160 Speaker 1: in your mouth at all. Yeah, get some bare repellent 428 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:04,520 Speaker 1: because it is a grizzly world out there. I mean, 429 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's funny that they even 430 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,200 Speaker 1: studied this. Well yeah, I mean, and they found too 431 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:15,680 Speaker 1: that after traveling alone, these women still prefer traveling alone 432 00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 1: because it gave them more opportunities to make new friends. 433 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,879 Speaker 1: Because when I went, for instance, I went on study 434 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 1: abroad in college with one of my best friends still 435 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 1: one of my best friends, and we had so much 436 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:33,280 Speaker 1: fun together and we made lots of memories. But there 437 00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:37,199 Speaker 1: were also times that I know and like recognized as 438 00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: it was happening that we were kind of so caught 439 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: up in like our own friendship with like doing things together, 440 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:46,960 Speaker 1: that we weren't making really friends outside of ourselves, which 441 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: could have been cool there. I mean, we ended up 442 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,200 Speaker 1: doing that more once we had been there for a 443 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,239 Speaker 1: little bit. Um, but I think there there can be 444 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:58,119 Speaker 1: some missed opportunities. Yeah, Like I, um, when I was 445 00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 1: by myself over and England and Ireland, I lost my leg. 446 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,920 Speaker 1: I didn't lose the luggage, the airline lost the luggage. 447 00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: And so I get to Ireland after being awake for 448 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:13,639 Speaker 1: thirty six hours, and I'm feeling a little down in 449 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,439 Speaker 1: the dumps because I don't have any underwear, you know, 450 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,840 Speaker 1: Like I have nothing and I'm by myself and it's 451 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 1: raining because it's Ireland, and I'm just like, oh God. 452 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:26,880 Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm walking up to Trinity College in Dublin, 453 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,680 Speaker 1: and who should I see but this girl that I 454 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,880 Speaker 1: did study abroad with. And I was like, oh, oh, 455 00:27:33,040 --> 00:27:35,560 Speaker 1: you stayed too, Hello. Can we be best friends for 456 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 1: the next couple of hours? And so she and I 457 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 1: um went all over the city. We saw a bunch 458 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,159 Speaker 1: of things together, we ate together, We talked to a 459 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 1: bunch of like the local restaurant owners, and gotten to 460 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:50,639 Speaker 1: a bunch of great conversations. We eventually went our separate ways, 461 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,520 Speaker 1: but it was great to have that experience of kind 462 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 1: of enjoying a foreign country and a new city with 463 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: someone so you could rely on that that extra presence, 464 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 1: but then taking your own way and then diving deeper 465 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,560 Speaker 1: into all of these things you want to learn more about. Yeah, 466 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:14,119 Speaker 1: I've never traveled abroad by myself. I've gone places in 467 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: the US, but usually I have some point of contact, 468 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:21,040 Speaker 1: whether I'm staying with a friend or you know, somebody 469 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 1: to call someone to meet up with, because there comes 470 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:29,440 Speaker 1: that point of the free time, the after the sun 471 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,679 Speaker 1: sets and is it safe to go out, where do 472 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:36,240 Speaker 1: you go and eat alone? It can be I mean, 473 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 1: it can be kind of nerve racking. Yeah, And I 474 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:43,720 Speaker 1: mean that leads us into the next major theme of 475 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: anyone discussing women traveling alone, which is danger. Danger. You've 476 00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,320 Speaker 1: got to wear all those rate whistles, don't go out 477 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 1: after dark, certainly, don't go to clubs like watch your back, 478 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 1: don't stay on the first floor of a hotel. And 479 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 1: while there is merit to a lot of the travel advice, 480 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,920 Speaker 1: I mean, certainly, don't be stupid, but you don't want 481 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 1: to do stupid things at home either. Yeah. I mean, 482 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:12,760 Speaker 1: when you look at the statistics of how dangerous travel 483 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:19,320 Speaker 1: for women actually is compared to how much we hear 484 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:23,640 Speaker 1: about how what a terrible idea, essentially it is because 485 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: we're just like putting ourselves at risk for the worst 486 00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: possible things to happen to us. Apparently there's such a 487 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: vast gulf between the reality of traveling alone and what 488 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,600 Speaker 1: we are warned about traveling alone. And that's one reason 489 00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,960 Speaker 1: that women are likelier to plan, like to overplan excuse me, 490 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,640 Speaker 1: their itinerary, because we're so nervous about that free time, 491 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: because everyone's been telling us that we're going to be 492 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: murdered and or raped. Well, I don't know. I mean, 493 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 1: I think, I mean not to totally go off on 494 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,120 Speaker 1: a tangent, but I think that having that free time 495 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:03,080 Speaker 1: is so awesome, that unplanned free time is so awesome, 496 00:30:03,160 --> 00:30:05,480 Speaker 1: just as long as you are smart about it and 497 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,840 Speaker 1: you're paying attention to your surroundings. Well, and I have 498 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: a feeling too that you know, yes, be smart about it, um, 499 00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: But I also feel like they're there's this undercurrent of 500 00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 1: victim blaming in regard to the worst case scenario of 501 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:24,040 Speaker 1: being murdered and or raped, which has happened. And I'm 502 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 1: not trying to make light of that, um, But whenever 503 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: the worst case scenario happens, the blame is immediately focused 504 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,560 Speaker 1: on the solo female traveler of well, why was she 505 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:41,560 Speaker 1: out there alone to begin with? Right an Alice Driver 506 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 1: at the Feminist Wire says that basically, by repeating these 507 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 1: stories over and over again and telling women not to 508 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,040 Speaker 1: go out by themselves, we are limiting their movement. And 509 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:53,280 Speaker 1: I would say that by then limiting women's movement, making 510 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: them too afraid to go out in the dark by themselves. Ever, 511 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,080 Speaker 1: we're also not allowing that to become normalized. We're not 512 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 1: allowing the inch of a woman at a cafe at night, 513 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 1: or at a club or wherever she is at night 514 00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 1: by herself. We're not allowing that to become normalized. Well. 515 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 1: And then there's also this deeper level too, as The 516 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 1: New York Times talked about of how, if, and when 517 00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 1: a white female traveler, in particular, if something happens to her, 518 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:29,760 Speaker 1: it's often amplified by the media, which makes individual incidents 519 00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 1: seem like part of a larger pattern. Um and Christina Finch, 520 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: who's the director of Amnesty Internationals Women's Human Rights Program, 521 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 1: told The New York Times on average, attacks against white 522 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:47,160 Speaker 1: women worldwide receive more coverage than attacks against women of color. 523 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 1: And then on top of that, you also have um 524 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 1: the response to violence against Western tourists being met with 525 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 1: a much faster response than violence against local women. Right. 526 00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,200 Speaker 1: And then that leads us, of course to the story 527 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:03,680 Speaker 1: of Sarrise Era, who in was murdered while traveling alone 528 00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: in Turkey. And so there's a lot of handwringing around this, 529 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:11,680 Speaker 1: I mean admittedly horrific story about like why was she 530 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: even alone in the first place, what was she possibly thinking? 531 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,960 Speaker 1: When in reality, like and and it got a very 532 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 1: fast and strong police response in Turkey. But this was 533 00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,760 Speaker 1: a guy. This was like a crazy homeless man who 534 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,400 Speaker 1: tried to kiss her and she fought back, and then 535 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: she threw a rock at him, and he bashed her 536 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:34,080 Speaker 1: head in with a rock basically, and so, I mean, 537 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: this is something that could have happened to any woman, 538 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,680 Speaker 1: but it happened to take place as violence against an 539 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 1: American woman traveling by herself. And people seemed so outraged, 540 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 1: particularly at her for traveling because she not only was 541 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: a woman traveling alone, but she was also married, and 542 00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 1: people some people were like, well, why wasn't your husband 543 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,440 Speaker 1: with you? Why weren't you Are you one of those 544 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,800 Speaker 1: going back to that early trope at mistrust of the 545 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 1: woman traveling alone. She must have just been out trying 546 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,840 Speaker 1: to cheat on her husband. Why was she even talking 547 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 1: to a man in the first place. It's so victim blaming, 548 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 1: but more level headed responses to that admittedly horrific incident. 549 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:18,280 Speaker 1: It's the fact that when you look at things like 550 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:22,240 Speaker 1: domestic violence rates, murder rates, and sexual assault rates in 551 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:26,120 Speaker 1: the US, a lot of times there is a statistically 552 00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:30,560 Speaker 1: greater chance of the worst case scenario happening at home 553 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:34,440 Speaker 1: rather than abroad. So in Sierra's case, for instance, according 554 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,480 Speaker 1: to data collected by the U. S. State Department, which 555 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 1: keeps tabs on violence against American tourists, it found that 556 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:45,960 Speaker 1: there had been three murders of US tourists in Turkey, 557 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,120 Speaker 1: and I think it was either five or ten year 558 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 1: long period, And Sierra was a New Yorker, which meant 559 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,480 Speaker 1: that in two thousand eleven alone there were five hundred 560 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:02,000 Speaker 1: and two murders. So statistically speaking, in a way, she 561 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 1: was actually safer in Turkey than she was in New 562 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:10,120 Speaker 1: York City, right, And when we look over to Dysan McClain, 563 00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,480 Speaker 1: who's the former New York Times Frugal Traveler columnist, she 564 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:19,520 Speaker 1: talks about how she has actually felt safest in countries 565 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 1: that tend to have a more patriarchal or repressive society, 566 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:27,400 Speaker 1: because those cultures tend to have lower crime rates, and 567 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,800 Speaker 1: the local women tend to be more protective of traveling women, 568 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 1: particularly those women that they see traveling by themselves. Now, 569 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:39,520 Speaker 1: obviously in those kinds of societies, women travelers need to 570 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,600 Speaker 1: pay attention to the clothes that they're wearing. They need 571 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,200 Speaker 1: to be respectful of the local customs and not just 572 00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:47,399 Speaker 1: try to bulldoze in and say free the nipples. I'm 573 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 1: just gonna come in here and change everything. Um. And 574 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,440 Speaker 1: when you are being a respectful traveler, tourists, whatever you 575 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: wanna call it, Yeah, a lot of women travelers talk 576 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:02,680 Speaker 1: about how local women reach out to them and you know, 577 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,439 Speaker 1: try to kind of give them help along the way. 578 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,800 Speaker 1: And this is not to say thumbs up to super 579 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:15,279 Speaker 1: repressive patriarchal societies, but rather to re examine, Okay, how 580 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:19,360 Speaker 1: realistic is this overwhelming fear of women traveling alone? Is 581 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,480 Speaker 1: this rooted in reality or rooted in our fears about 582 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:29,000 Speaker 1: women traveling alone, Because I think one of the biggest 583 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,200 Speaker 1: fears um, and I've felt this spear before as well 584 00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 1: of traveling alone is the risk of sexual assault. We 585 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:37,919 Speaker 1: made a joke about rape whistles, but I think that 586 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:41,000 Speaker 1: you know, putting yourself out in the world, in a 587 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:45,880 Speaker 1: in an unknown place does can make you feel very vulnerable. 588 00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:52,040 Speaker 1: But again, when you look at the statistics, leaving your 589 00:35:52,080 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 1: home doesn't necessarily make you less safe or more at 590 00:35:56,239 --> 00:35:59,839 Speaker 1: risk for sexual assault. So, for instance, um, there isn't 591 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 1: hard data on all sexual assaults reported by female travelers, 592 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:09,160 Speaker 1: but The New York Times reports that from two thousand 593 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:14,400 Speaker 1: twelve to two thousand thirteen, three British travelers requested consular 594 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:20,960 Speaker 1: assistance after alleged sexual attacks. For comparison, the Rape Crisis 595 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: England and Whales Center estimates that thousand women are raped 596 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:33,359 Speaker 1: in those countries every year. So yet, again, what are 597 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,920 Speaker 1: we so afraid of? Is it reality or is it 598 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:42,400 Speaker 1: just our concerns about the general vulnerability of women being 599 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,359 Speaker 1: out on their own? Yeah, I mean, I do think 600 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 1: it says a lot about how society or societies view 601 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,200 Speaker 1: women and how they move through those societies. Well, and 602 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,560 Speaker 1: it could because it's that fear and the warning that 603 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 1: we shouldn't do that, and then if something happens, we 604 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,240 Speaker 1: are the ones to blame. It's a bit rape culturally 605 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,359 Speaker 1: when you think about it, and you know, we've we've 606 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:07,319 Speaker 1: already said that. There are situations where, whether you're at 607 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:09,719 Speaker 1: home or abroad, honestly, you know, you just want to 608 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,040 Speaker 1: be smart and be aware, and so there are some 609 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:16,839 Speaker 1: tips to keep in mind when you are traveling by yourself. Um. 610 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,279 Speaker 1: One that Jody Edinburgh at Legal Nomad brings up is 611 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,520 Speaker 1: that it's a balance that you have to strike between 612 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 1: thinking smart and trying to stay safe and also not 613 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:30,920 Speaker 1: succumbing to the fear. She recommends carrying a rubber doorstop 614 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,520 Speaker 1: to use in your hotel room, a safety whistle, staying 615 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:37,239 Speaker 1: in well lit areas, watching your drink, which is just 616 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:41,840 Speaker 1: good advice for life. Dress conservatively. This is a common 617 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:44,560 Speaker 1: refrain that we hear in a lot of travel tip blogs. 618 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,640 Speaker 1: Don't give away details about what you're staying to strangers, 619 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,200 Speaker 1: Be careful with your eye contact, and maybe option wearing sunglasses. 620 00:37:53,239 --> 00:37:56,960 Speaker 1: There's the example that one blog gave of being in 621 00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,960 Speaker 1: like northern Europe versus Southern Europe, and if you're in Italy, 622 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,520 Speaker 1: there's the whole thing about eye contact and a smile 623 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:07,000 Speaker 1: being considered an invitation to engage, and that maybe if 624 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:10,600 Speaker 1: you're not looking to engage in conversation, put on some 625 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,279 Speaker 1: some big old sunglasses. Should you wear your sunglasses at night? 626 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: Like the song goes totally? And going back to that 627 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:22,080 Speaker 1: University of Florida study that we talked about earlier, some 628 00:38:22,200 --> 00:38:25,879 Speaker 1: of the tips from the veteran women travelers who were 629 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,600 Speaker 1: involved with that talked about how important it was to 630 00:38:28,719 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: really know where you're going in the sense of knowing 631 00:38:32,040 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 1: the country, knowing the culture, and on top of that, 632 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,520 Speaker 1: and this is stressed over and over and over again, 633 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:42,400 Speaker 1: particularly for women traveling alone. To select accommodations in safer 634 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:45,640 Speaker 1: parts of town, you might want to spend more money 635 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:49,239 Speaker 1: on going to, say, a name brand hotel, rather than 636 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:52,200 Speaker 1: staying at a hostile off the beaten path that might 637 00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:56,279 Speaker 1: not have twenty four hour security. Um and I think 638 00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:58,279 Speaker 1: those are one of the things where it's not so 639 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:02,960 Speaker 1: much fearmongering, but that's a basic safety measure. But I 640 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,319 Speaker 1: hate it. I hate it. I hate it because, like 641 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,879 Speaker 1: what I mean, I was a college student who didn't 642 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,560 Speaker 1: have the money to stay in a hotel. I mean, 643 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:15,160 Speaker 1: you know, so I I picked hostiles instead, stayed with strangers, 644 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 1: slept in a room in on the west coast of 645 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 1: Ireland with like twenty other people, one of whom was 646 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:24,160 Speaker 1: a ginormous man on the bunk below me who snored 647 00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 1: all night. But when you're like like a terrible level 648 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,440 Speaker 1: of tired, you can sleep through at I shure you. 649 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:31,560 Speaker 1: But um no, But I hate that advice that you 650 00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:33,799 Speaker 1: need to stay in a nicer hotel because that is 651 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,520 Speaker 1: incredibly limiting. Well, that's one thing that this came up 652 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:42,480 Speaker 1: actually in the New York Times Frugal Traveler column, which 653 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:46,080 Speaker 1: is written right now by a guy, and he gets 654 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:49,000 Speaker 1: a lot of responses from people saying, we really need 655 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:50,879 Speaker 1: to hear from women. There have been I think two 656 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,719 Speaker 1: or three women before him who were at the helm 657 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:57,240 Speaker 1: of the column, and you know, he hears from people 658 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,600 Speaker 1: saying like, well, sure you can go and live on 659 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,279 Speaker 1: a don because you're a guy and you can travel anywhere. 660 00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:04,880 Speaker 1: And that might be more of a challenge for a 661 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:09,160 Speaker 1: woman who really wants to be as take as many precautions. 662 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:10,759 Speaker 1: I should say as possible. I don't want to say 663 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:13,000 Speaker 1: as safe as possible, because I feel like that also 664 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,480 Speaker 1: still feeds into this whole like, you know, threatening message 665 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,120 Speaker 1: that women get who want to travel on their own. 666 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:23,480 Speaker 1: But if you want to take as many precautions as possible, 667 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,680 Speaker 1: staying at the nicer spot in a well lit area 668 00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:33,360 Speaker 1: is a big one. Yeah, just prepare yourself some hustles 669 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,920 Speaker 1: like have dance parties all night. I'm just gonna warn 670 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,640 Speaker 1: you about that. And on top of that, there is 671 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:43,759 Speaker 1: an even more depressingly common piece of advice, which is 672 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:48,400 Speaker 1: to where a wedding ring real or fake and even 673 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,840 Speaker 1: as a travel expert, Rick Steve's suggested carry a picture 674 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:56,839 Speaker 1: of a real or fake husband, And I feel so 675 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: conflicted about this one, particularly going to the the extent 676 00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:04,920 Speaker 1: of carrying a photo of a husband, because it's yet 677 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:09,359 Speaker 1: another example of whether you are abroad or if you 678 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:13,280 Speaker 1: are at a bar down the street, where if someone 679 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,719 Speaker 1: is giving you unwanted sexual attention, the quickest way to 680 00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,960 Speaker 1: stop it is to not say no, thanks, not interested, 681 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 1: but to rather say I have a boyfriend. I have 682 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 1: a husband. Even if you were to say, and it 683 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,000 Speaker 1: is the truth, oh I have a girlfriend, won't stop it. 684 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,279 Speaker 1: You gotta say I have a boyfriend. You need to 685 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:35,319 Speaker 1: show the presence of another male in your life. And 686 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:38,719 Speaker 1: I want to hear from listeners on that one, because, 687 00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:42,399 Speaker 1: like I like, the feminist inside of me wants to 688 00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:46,960 Speaker 1: fight that one so much. But I mean, like we 689 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:50,640 Speaker 1: said earlier, we can't go into other societies, other cultures, 690 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 1: you know, determined to change the way things are, because 691 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:57,040 Speaker 1: we're just not. Yeah, it's not our job to go 692 00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:01,799 Speaker 1: and fight the patriarchy, right, and so it stinks. But 693 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,799 Speaker 1: if you want to avoid hassle, you got to wear 694 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:08,520 Speaker 1: your sunglasses and maybe you got to wear a wedding 695 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,120 Speaker 1: ring well, and I could see, Okay, I could see 696 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:14,200 Speaker 1: if I was traveling alone, and particularly if I wanted 697 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,960 Speaker 1: to go out at night, then putting on the wedding ring, 698 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,920 Speaker 1: because I feel like that's when it, you know, the 699 00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,600 Speaker 1: fear probably creeps in the most. Um. So if you 700 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:28,879 Speaker 1: wanted to go have a nice dinner, have a drink 701 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,120 Speaker 1: at a bar, maybe it would just kind of you know, 702 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:36,759 Speaker 1: it serves like it put a radar shield around you. Um. 703 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:38,719 Speaker 1: But I mean, I think too, that just depends on 704 00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,439 Speaker 1: what country you're traveling in, what type of culture you're 705 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:45,200 Speaker 1: traveling in. When I was traveling, I had zip zero 706 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,080 Speaker 1: problems with people harassing me. The only time I was 707 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,399 Speaker 1: harassed is when I had been up for thirty six 708 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,040 Speaker 1: hours or so in Dublin and some guys were hassling 709 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,839 Speaker 1: me about taking up an entire booth in a pub 710 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,799 Speaker 1: by myself. Like, listen, I'm sorry that I'm not really 711 00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,239 Speaker 1: caring about etiquette right now. As far as where I said, 712 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:04,200 Speaker 1: I'm just so tired. But no, they weren't. There was 713 00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:08,399 Speaker 1: no sexual advances there, so that's good. Yeah, because look, 714 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,680 Speaker 1: you are yet another one of the women who have 715 00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:14,400 Speaker 1: traveled alone and come back to tell the tale that 716 00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: it is okay out there in the world. It's awesome, 717 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:21,359 Speaker 1: it's Hi. I enjoyed. I super enjoyed traveling by myself well. 718 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:25,280 Speaker 1: And they're also advantages of being a solo female traveler. 719 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,480 Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of times the conversation stops 720 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: at the fear factor, but there are plenty of advantages, 721 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:33,520 Speaker 1: such as, first and foremost, being able to see the 722 00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:36,160 Speaker 1: world on your own terms and your own schedule. You 723 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,960 Speaker 1: could sit in that booth at the pub in Ireland 724 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:41,280 Speaker 1: as long as you wanted, Caroline, well until those guys 725 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,920 Speaker 1: so they until they were complaining too gladly. Um. And 726 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:47,319 Speaker 1: then there's the whole thing about women tending to get 727 00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:50,040 Speaker 1: invited to people's homes more often and maybe being more 728 00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,719 Speaker 1: protected by locals. Hi, this is absolutely something that I 729 00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,960 Speaker 1: experienced when I was on the West coast of Ireland. 730 00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,240 Speaker 1: I wandered into this pub and I didn't have any cash, 731 00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 1: but they had a twenty five euro credit card minimum, Like, 732 00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,960 Speaker 1: just kill me right, So I was like, okay, give 733 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,800 Speaker 1: me all the fish and chips and as much guinness 734 00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:08,960 Speaker 1: as I can swallow. So I'm sitting there and I'm 735 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:12,480 Speaker 1: like stuffed to the gills and I'm drunk because I've 736 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,400 Speaker 1: been drinking all this guinness. And I walk up to 737 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:18,960 Speaker 1: the bar and I'm like, have I reached the minimum yet? 738 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,160 Speaker 1: And this couple next to me, here's my accent, and 739 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,200 Speaker 1: they start talking to me and they it turns out 740 00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:28,520 Speaker 1: they are a couple from New Jersey who quit the 741 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,480 Speaker 1: rat race. Their kids were done with school, they quit 742 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,320 Speaker 1: the rat race, moved to the west coast of Ireland 743 00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:37,840 Speaker 1: in this tiny town of Duelin, opened to stained glass 744 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 1: shop and lived above it. And they were so sad 745 00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:45,600 Speaker 1: to hear my story about losing my luggage and that 746 00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:47,640 Speaker 1: all I wanted to do was take a hot shower 747 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,239 Speaker 1: after a day of traveling, and they were like, well 748 00:44:49,239 --> 00:44:52,800 Speaker 1: wait here, and the wife ran back to the house 749 00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:54,600 Speaker 1: and got me a towel so that I could shower 750 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,239 Speaker 1: that night, and we just sat there at the bar 751 00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:58,880 Speaker 1: and talked. Turns out their son, I don't know if 752 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:02,080 Speaker 1: he still is, but was a police officer from around 753 00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:06,480 Speaker 1: where I am from, in Georgia. So small world, very 754 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:08,279 Speaker 1: small world. But I think there is something to be 755 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:14,200 Speaker 1: said for being a woman traveling by yourself, being open 756 00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:17,520 Speaker 1: to those experiences I think it's important to not shut 757 00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,760 Speaker 1: yourself off, but to look and feel open to talking 758 00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,640 Speaker 1: to strangers absolutely, because you never know that you're going 759 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:26,880 Speaker 1: to meet in a good way. In a good way. Yeah. Um. 760 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:30,800 Speaker 1: One tip that was brought up by traveler Emily Baron 761 00:45:30,960 --> 00:45:34,640 Speaker 1: talking to the New York Times Frugal Traveler was that 762 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,680 Speaker 1: one other advantage you might not think about of being 763 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,360 Speaker 1: a woman traveling alone is that you are likelier to 764 00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,800 Speaker 1: have a tampon on you. And she talks about how 765 00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:49,120 Speaker 1: tampons can serve as the you know, build the bridge 766 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:52,480 Speaker 1: between you and local women, because I mean, we've all 767 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:56,480 Speaker 1: been there. If you are in a situation where your 768 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,520 Speaker 1: period came, you don't have a tampon, and the woman 769 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,440 Speaker 1: who had as one and hands it to you, it's 770 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:05,080 Speaker 1: almost as if you can hear the angels saying like that, Oh, 771 00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,919 Speaker 1: and you're bonded immediately. And also if you break your nose, 772 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,960 Speaker 1: you can shove one up your nose too. Yeah, they're 773 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:14,279 Speaker 1: all sorts of survival uses for tampons. If you don't 774 00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:17,640 Speaker 1: believe me, google it. It's true. So I mean, guys, 775 00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:21,480 Speaker 1: obviously you can carry tampons too. It's just you know 776 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,520 Speaker 1: it might be if a guy hands out a woman 777 00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,239 Speaker 1: a tampon, a local woman a tampon. I don't know 778 00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,839 Speaker 1: if it would necessarily be a bridge builder in the 779 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:33,520 Speaker 1: same way as if you or I were to hand 780 00:46:33,520 --> 00:46:36,000 Speaker 1: her one that might halt the conversation. Yeah, yeah, I 781 00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,120 Speaker 1: could a little bit um. And then on top of 782 00:46:38,160 --> 00:46:42,360 Speaker 1: all of it, the advantages, obviously are just the confidence building, 783 00:46:42,719 --> 00:46:46,359 Speaker 1: the personal transformation that we hear about so often. You 784 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,720 Speaker 1: can go, you can eat, you can pray, you can love, 785 00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,399 Speaker 1: if that's what you so desire. That was my mom 786 00:46:53,480 --> 00:46:59,800 Speaker 1: telling me about that. Yeah, I absolutely, I absolutely encourage 787 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:02,560 Speaker 1: people to do it, and there's plenty of resources out 788 00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,400 Speaker 1: there for you to learn about traveling, whether you're traveling 789 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,759 Speaker 1: solo or a friend. Whoever, if you want to go 790 00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,359 Speaker 1: do this as a lady explorer. Yeah, there are so 791 00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:15,600 Speaker 1: many women focus travel sites and travel magazines. Caroline, didn't 792 00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:20,000 Speaker 1: we read that women traveling is so hot right now? Yeah? 793 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:23,360 Speaker 1: Consumer Affairs quoted. Uh, someone is saying that it's the 794 00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:28,919 Speaker 1: new trend in travel, to which I said, wrong. But yeah, 795 00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:30,960 Speaker 1: it's good to see that that more people are actually 796 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:35,360 Speaker 1: paying attention to this this section of the population. Apparently 797 00:47:35,360 --> 00:47:38,759 Speaker 1: that woman had never heard of Impulsia Gushington. That's right, 798 00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:41,680 Speaker 1: you don't know, but yeah, they're all sorts of websites 799 00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:45,480 Speaker 1: out there for women's specific travel tips, such as Women's 800 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:49,680 Speaker 1: Adventure Magazine. There's Wanderlust and Lipstick, which I know the 801 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,399 Speaker 1: name might sound a little hokey, but it's actually really 802 00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:56,320 Speaker 1: good resource. There's Black Girl Travel. There's also You Go Girl, 803 00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,280 Speaker 1: which is from the author of the Black Woman's Book 804 00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:03,920 Speaker 1: of Travel and Adventure, and Women on the Road, etcetera, etcetera. 805 00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:06,040 Speaker 1: I mean, really, it's all just a Google search away. 806 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,440 Speaker 1: And what's so encouraging I think about it is that 807 00:48:08,480 --> 00:48:11,280 Speaker 1: when you google like these types of resources for women, 808 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,000 Speaker 1: there's so many different kinds. There is stuff that's on 809 00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:16,719 Speaker 1: the girl group side, so you're going with a lot 810 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:19,200 Speaker 1: of women. It's a journey of self discovery all the 811 00:48:19,239 --> 00:48:22,480 Speaker 1: way to like the rustic strikeout on your own to 812 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,680 Speaker 1: climb that mountain. So there's there's just everything in between. 813 00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:30,040 Speaker 1: And I like how people, whether you're a woman entrepreneur 814 00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:33,520 Speaker 1: starting a group like this or whatever, I like that 815 00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:37,479 Speaker 1: the fact that women are different is being recognized. Yeah, yeah, 816 00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,640 Speaker 1: we want different things and we enjoy different things, and 817 00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:45,840 Speaker 1: that's fantastic, and I just love though. I've honestly really 818 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,480 Speaker 1: enjoyed just sitting here listening to your travel stories that 819 00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,840 Speaker 1: I've never heard before. And I love hearing and reading 820 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:56,360 Speaker 1: other women's travel stories as well, because not just sound cheesy, 821 00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,440 Speaker 1: but they're very inspiring, you know, because it can be 822 00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,640 Speaker 1: I've been fearful before about hopping on a plane and 823 00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:04,640 Speaker 1: going to the other side of the world, probably why 824 00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:08,040 Speaker 1: I've never done it alone before. But I tell you what, Caroline, 825 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:14,640 Speaker 1: after this podcast, I am ready to go somewhere do it. 826 00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:16,560 Speaker 1: My boyfriend might be like, hey, where are you going? 827 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:18,440 Speaker 1: You and I should just go and then we'll just 828 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:21,799 Speaker 1: split off and come back together at the end of it. Yeah, yeah, 829 00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:25,000 Speaker 1: and then swap our swap our stories. But now we 830 00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:28,640 Speaker 1: want to hear your stories and not just women, any 831 00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:33,200 Speaker 1: solo traveling adventures and photos we would love to read 832 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:35,919 Speaker 1: and to see, so please send us all of them. 833 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:38,200 Speaker 1: Mom Stuff at how stuff works dot com is our 834 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,319 Speaker 1: email address. You can also tweet us places you've been 835 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:44,719 Speaker 1: pictures at mom Stuff Podcasts. You can also message es 836 00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,759 Speaker 1: on Facebook and we have a couple of messages to 837 00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:50,440 Speaker 1: share about our episode on World War two and Rosie 838 00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:56,799 Speaker 1: the riveters right now, So Caroline, I have one here 839 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:00,920 Speaker 1: from Megan, who writes My maternal and pa dropped out 840 00:50:00,920 --> 00:50:03,920 Speaker 1: of high school in nineteen forty two and fibbed about 841 00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:06,600 Speaker 1: his age to enlist in the Marines. While on leave 842 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:09,680 Speaker 1: in late forty four or early forty five, he married 843 00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,480 Speaker 1: my grandmother, who was sixteen at the time and not 844 00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,040 Speaker 1: working due to her age. She did take part in 845 00:50:15,120 --> 00:50:19,200 Speaker 1: scrap metal drives and gardened extensively. She became pregnant pretty 846 00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:23,080 Speaker 1: much right away and didn't work until the early nineteen fifties. However, 847 00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:26,640 Speaker 1: her older sister, my great aunt, did work. My family 848 00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:29,440 Speaker 1: is from East Tennessee, and my aunt Vernell, worked on 849 00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,840 Speaker 1: the Manhattan Project. WHOA, that's so cool. Workers in Oakridge 850 00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:35,920 Speaker 1: were not permitted to tell friends and family that they 851 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,280 Speaker 1: worked for what they were doing. Maryville, where my family lives. 852 00:50:39,280 --> 00:50:41,920 Speaker 1: In oak Ridge are some thirty miles apart, and it's 853 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,239 Speaker 1: possible my family wasn't aware that the secret city existed. 854 00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:47,800 Speaker 1: My aunt has told me that none of the workers, 855 00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,080 Speaker 1: including her, had any idea they were building bombs. Each 856 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,640 Speaker 1: line of production was subdivided and kept hidden from the 857 00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:56,399 Speaker 1: other lines, and when the war ended, she married her 858 00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,080 Speaker 1: soldier boyfriend, had a couple of kids, worked as a 859 00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,920 Speaker 1: hospital nurse and collects at pension from the government for 860 00:51:02,040 --> 00:51:05,440 Speaker 1: her help in aiding the war effort. Their oldest sister 861 00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:08,600 Speaker 1: was a war nurse and has unfortunately passed away. I 862 00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:10,160 Speaker 1: know I've heard some of her stories, but at the 863 00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:13,160 Speaker 1: time I was too young to realize the significance of 864 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:17,240 Speaker 1: what I was hearing. Yeah, so thanks so much Megan 865 00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:22,040 Speaker 1: for sharing those stories. And Vernell, Well, I have one 866 00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:26,080 Speaker 1: here from Laura. She says, my great aunt who I 867 00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:28,399 Speaker 1: used to love to visit work during World War Two 868 00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,040 Speaker 1: in a more unusual setting. She was in the Air 869 00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,120 Speaker 1: Force and stationed for at least part of the time 870 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,279 Speaker 1: in Hawaii, where she drew maps of enemy territory from 871 00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:40,520 Speaker 1: descriptions given to her by pilots. She was quote unquote older, 872 00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:43,640 Speaker 1: being in her mid twenties at the time, so I 873 00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:45,960 Speaker 1: got the impression that she had a higher rank than 874 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,120 Speaker 1: the young men she was stationed with. I believe it 875 00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,360 Speaker 1: was during this time she interacted with some of the 876 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:55,160 Speaker 1: higher up people, including Winston Churchill, as they needed to 877 00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:58,520 Speaker 1: view her work. Also, from what I understand, you can 878 00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:02,479 Speaker 1: see some of her work today at Smithsonian. Her name 879 00:52:02,600 --> 00:52:07,040 Speaker 1: is Mary Taylor. Heis that's h. I s E. So 880 00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:09,399 Speaker 1: thank you, Laura. I am so blown away by our 881 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:13,000 Speaker 1: cool listeners and they're really cool grandmothers and great aunt, 882 00:52:13,080 --> 00:52:17,279 Speaker 1: great aunts and well, if you have cool stories about 883 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:20,960 Speaker 1: your Rose of the Riveter grandmother, great aunt, or travel stories, 884 00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,719 Speaker 1: you want to hear all of them. Mom stuff at 885 00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:25,720 Speaker 1: how stuff works dot com is where you can email 886 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,719 Speaker 1: us and for links to all of our social media's 887 00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,440 Speaker 1: as well as all of our blogs, podcasts, and videos 888 00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:35,480 Speaker 1: to perhaps keep you entertained on your travels and beyond. 889 00:52:35,760 --> 00:52:38,239 Speaker 1: There's one place to go, and it's stuff Mom Never 890 00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:44,640 Speaker 1: Told You dot com. For more on this and thousands 891 00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:54,800 Speaker 1: of other topics, does it how stuff works dot com