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Speaker 1: I want to tell you something, Jared. This is like

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Speaker 1: the secret, the secret that no one wants to hear

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Speaker 1: when they're in it. But if she wants time to

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Speaker 1: work on herself, then that means she doesn't love you.

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Speaker 1: What's up, everybody, Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you

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Speaker 1: for watching, thank you for listening, whatever platform you're coming from.

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Speaker 1: I'm grateful to have this podcast, to be able to

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Speaker 1: talk through your questions. That's what we do here. I

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Speaker 1: answer your questions. You email Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 1: I'll go through them and we'll archive them and we'll

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Speaker 1: get to it. So it could be about any subject.

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Speaker 1: It could be about life or career, or relationship or

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Speaker 1: faith or even music. It's funny that this is actually

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Speaker 1: under the music category, but we talk about music unless

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Speaker 1: you ask me. And if you found me through TikTok

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Speaker 1: or Instagram, thank you for being here. If you're a

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Speaker 1: longtime listener, I appreciate you. I haven't had a guest

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Speaker 1: in a while. Currently filming a movie, a motion picture

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Speaker 1: in West Texas, and so I come back home and

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Speaker 1: I have usually two days per week home and I

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Speaker 1: pick one of those days to jump on here and

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Speaker 1: do the podcast. I don't really know when I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: do it, so I haven't had a guest in a while.

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Speaker 1: So oh Also, if you came from my radio show

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Speaker 1: after midnight, thank you for listening to that and showing

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Speaker 1: up back here. But let's get this thing started. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to pull up the first question and it comes

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Speaker 1: from Jared in Abilene, Texas, speaking of West Texas. Abilene, Texas.

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Speaker 1: It says, Hey, Granger, I'm new to the podcast. Absolutely

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Speaker 1: love what you have to say each and every week.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for that. Here's what I have. So, my

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Speaker 1: girlfriend broke up with me this week. And we've been

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Speaker 1: dating for two months, so not real long, but I've

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Speaker 1: known her over a year. And the reason she broke

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Speaker 1: up with me is because she needs to get some

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Speaker 1: work done on herself and find out what she really

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Speaker 1: wants in life. Which I respect that because I want

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Speaker 1: the best for her. But she wants some time to

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Speaker 1: work on herself and see what she wants. And this

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Speaker 1: is where I get confused, because I really want to

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Speaker 1: work this out between us because I love this girl.

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Speaker 1: Do I wait for her? Do I let her go

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Speaker 1: and remain friends down the road. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to process this because we had a conversation on what

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Speaker 1: we both want out of a relationship and that went great,

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Speaker 1: and then she broke up with me four days later.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty one years old in college. So just to

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Speaker 1: remind her to everyone that's listening, I don't have any notes,

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Speaker 1: I don't have any preparation. I don't even read these emails.

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Speaker 1: So everything is going to be on the fly, as

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Speaker 1: if we're sitting around a campfire and just having this conversation,

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Speaker 1: and Jared, you're at first. You sit down at the

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Speaker 1: campfire and you say, hey, man, I want to talk

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Speaker 1: about this girl. It needs to be said that I'm

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Speaker 1: not always right. I'm just going to give you the

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Speaker 1: campfire talk of what I think, what I think of

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Speaker 1: the situation from the limited information that I know that

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Speaker 1: you gave me. Jared, twenty one years old, young, haven't

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Speaker 1: dated very long. Two months that's like nothing, and I

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Speaker 1: mean it's long enough to get a serious crush on her,

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Speaker 1: to get the infatuation going on her. You are heartbroken.

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Speaker 1: I want to tell you something, Jared. This is like

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Speaker 1: the secret, the secret that no one wants to hear

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Speaker 1: when they're in it. But if she wants time to

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Speaker 1: work on herself. Then that means she doesn't love you,

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Speaker 1: at least not right now, and at least not at

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Speaker 1: a level that should continue this relationship. That's not a

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Speaker 1: good sign, Jared. And this is what I would tell

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Speaker 1: you around the campfire, that bro she's using that that's

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Speaker 1: just like one of the four main excuses. Hey I

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Speaker 1: want to work on myself. Hey I want to I

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Speaker 1: will spend some time with God. Hey I'm starting this

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Speaker 1: new career. Or I need more time with my girlfriends.

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Speaker 1: All these are just excuses to say you're not the

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Speaker 1: one for me right now. And I know that's tough

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Speaker 1: to hear, but the fact is, if you were, if

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Speaker 1: she loved you like crazy, if she's thought that she

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Speaker 1: wants to marry you, she would overcome whatever it is

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Speaker 1: she's working on herself with, or whatever job she has,

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Speaker 1: or whatever girlfriend she wants to spend more time with.

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Speaker 1: She would make it work with you. So this is

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Speaker 1: this is a different conversation if it's you guys have

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Speaker 1: been together for seven years, or you're married, or you're

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Speaker 1: forty five years old. But this is a classic twenty

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Speaker 1: one year old quick relationship. The best thing you could

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Speaker 1: do Jared is give her the space. The best thing

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Speaker 1: you could do is get away from your phone, get

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Speaker 1: away from the the need, the craving to text her

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Speaker 1: or to go scope her out on Instagram or Facebook

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Speaker 1: and see what she's doing. In fact, it's probably smart

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Speaker 1: at this point to hide her from your feed on

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Speaker 1: all social media. It's like something that I didn't really

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Speaker 1: have to deal with it with this when I was

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Speaker 1: dating because when I was twenty one, there was no

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Speaker 1: social media. So it's a thing now where you need

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Speaker 1: to be like, I'm not going to tell you to

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Speaker 1: block her because that might just cause more problems, but

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Speaker 1: you need to do something of the sort like hide her.

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Speaker 1: You could hide her on all your platforms because it's

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Speaker 1: just going to perpetuate this feeling that you have. It's

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Speaker 1: going to keep it alive a little bit longer, and ultimately,

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Speaker 1: time is your friend. Did you say when this happened? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not really sure when it happened. I'm assuming very recently.

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Speaker 1: Time is your friend. You're going to need that time

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Speaker 1: and as days go by, you know, some days might

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Speaker 1: might you might miss her more, but but ultimately you're

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Speaker 1: gonna heal this heartbrokenness is gonna heal and then you're

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Speaker 1: gonna find somebody else. And the best thing about finding

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Speaker 1: somebody else, And in your mind you're like, I don't

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Speaker 1: want anybody else, Like she's the one I don't want

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Speaker 1: to try. And that's okay, it's okay to think that.

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Speaker 1: It's natural to think that. But when you do you

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Speaker 1: do find somebody else, it's like all this stuff is

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Speaker 1: going to start making sense to you and you're gonna go, Wow,

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Speaker 1: I'm better my I'm better myself because of the past

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Speaker 1: relationships that didn't work. I have more understanding of myself

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Speaker 1: now to put into the new relationship that I'm currently in.

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Speaker 1: And every time that happens, it's like this cycle and

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Speaker 1: and the next one you'll you know, you might break

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Speaker 1: up with her, but you get a little closer to

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Speaker 1: who you are and and who you need and who

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Speaker 1: you want and all this what I'm talking about is

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Speaker 1: your future spouse. That's the goal here. On top of

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Speaker 1: all that, there is this element where you have to

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Speaker 1: be content alone. And there's nothing in your email that

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Speaker 1: leads me to think that that's a problem with you,

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Speaker 1: but I have to throw it out that there's this

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Speaker 1: concept that you have to be content single, content on

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Speaker 1: your own, by yourself, without anybody. You don't need anybody

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Speaker 1: to complete you or fill a gap that's missing in you.

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Speaker 1: You find contentment, learn contentment alone with yourself, and then

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Speaker 1: when someone else comes and just adds to that, you

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Speaker 1: don't need anyone else you want and it makes your

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Speaker 1: life that much sweeter. So I hope, I hope this helps,

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Speaker 1: and I know it doesn't make it easier, but I

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Speaker 1: hope it helps to clarify that you're in this right

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Speaker 1: now and it's going to pass and you're gonna feel better.

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Speaker 1: But don't stalk her on Instagram? All right? The next

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Speaker 1: one I pulled up says getting over someone. Should I

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Speaker 1: read it? Should we repeat this? Okay? What's up Grandeur?

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Speaker 1: My name's Wesley. I'm sixteen from Alabama. Seriously, he says,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to leave my name anonymous, but he just

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Speaker 1: put it in the first senute, so I'm sorry about that.

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Speaker 1: I'm a fan of the podcast. I've been listening for

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Speaker 1: about a week now, and I've been dealing with something

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Speaker 1: for about a year and I wanted your advice on it.

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Speaker 1: I really like this girl who's currently one of my

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Speaker 1: best friends, and she only sees me as a friend.

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to get over her, but every time we

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Speaker 1: hang out with her, all those feelings come back. I

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Speaker 1: sat with her down. I sat with her, sat her down,

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Speaker 1: talked to her about my feelings like you said in

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Speaker 1: the other podcast, episode one fourteen. But she just wishes

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Speaker 1: that she could say the same, but she only sees

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Speaker 1: me as a friend. I spend lots of time praying

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Speaker 1: about this. I appreciate this podcast and everything you stand for.

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Speaker 1: Have a great day. Well, thank you, brother, thanks for listening,

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Speaker 1: and shout out to Alabama. I wish I wish I

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Speaker 1: could just shower you with good news here, buddy. But

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Speaker 1: this is this is similar to the last question, but

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Speaker 1: a little bit different in terms of it doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like there ever was a relationship, and it doesn't sound

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Speaker 1: like there is going to be. That's okay, you're sixteen,

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Speaker 1: that that's okay. It's it's it's okay to have this

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Speaker 1: feeling for somebody that doesn't that doesn't have it the

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Speaker 1: same feeling back. That's what I mean by okay is

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Speaker 1: it's normal. It's it's a natural thing, and you're going

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Speaker 1: to go through this many more times, and there's you're

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Speaker 1: gonna be on the flip side of it. There's gonna

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Speaker 1: be girls that like you and you don't feel the

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Speaker 1: same way, and that's okay, that's normal. The great news

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Speaker 1: of your email, the best part of your emails is

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Speaker 1: you're sixteen and you're getting closer to understanding who you

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Speaker 1: are and what you like in your future long time

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Speaker 1: hopefully from now, spouse. So, brother, there's nothing you can

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Speaker 1: do right now. There's nothing you could do. I would

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Speaker 1: recommend if it hurts to be around her, I would

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Speaker 1: recommend you just tell her straight up. Hey, you remember

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Speaker 1: what we talked about a few weeks ago. Remember what

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Speaker 1: I told you. I was vulnerable. I told you because

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Speaker 1: of that, I need for myself to back away a

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Speaker 1: little bit from you and spend some time with other people.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry if if that hurts you, and she's going

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Speaker 1: to take this fine. Trust me, she's going to be

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Speaker 1: fine with it. But you should probably not keep her

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Speaker 1: in your close friends group because it's tearing you up. Man.

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Speaker 1: A lot of lot of relationship questions today. Here's this

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Speaker 1: one says dating Advice, subject line dating advice, Hey Gringer,

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Speaker 1: my name is Andrea from Kingsland, Texas. Shout out to Texas.

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Speaker 1: We're back in Texas again. Here. So, I've been listening

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Speaker 1: to your podcast for a couple months and I've become hooked.

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Speaker 1: I love everything you and your family stand for. Listening

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Speaker 1: to you and Amber has opened my eyes to God

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Speaker 1: and family. My question, though, is this, I'm trying to

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Speaker 1: get back into the dating field again. It's been very tough.

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Speaker 1: I'm lost as far as seeing red flags before I

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Speaker 1: start planning a date with these guys. I've been hurt

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Speaker 1: so much, and I'm really trying to not bring my

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Speaker 1: past relationships into the current ones. I have low self esteem,

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Speaker 1: I'm extremely shy, and I don't know how to talk

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Speaker 1: to guys anyways. I have two kiddos, one of six

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Speaker 1: and the other is eleven months. I work seventy hours

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Speaker 1: a week as a truck driver. I'm having a real

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Speaker 1: hard time with all this. I have no idea where

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Speaker 1: to even attempt to possibly give a man a chance,

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Speaker 1: or to even be okay with talking to a man.

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Speaker 1: Last question is how does a woman build up enough

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Speaker 1: confidence to approach a man. I'm so lost. I can't

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Speaker 1: even tell if a man's flirting with me or just

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Speaker 1: being super nice. Sorry this was long. Thank you for

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Speaker 1: everything you do. Sincerely, Andrea. Andrea, thank you, thank you

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Speaker 1: for emailing heavy stuff here. The heaviest part of your

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Speaker 1: email is that you are working seventy hours a week

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Speaker 1: and you have two kiddos, young kiddos six and eleven months,

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Speaker 1: and so I can understand that more of the reason

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Speaker 1: you have this urgency to find a man, because part

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Speaker 1: of it, you know, I read this part of it.

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Speaker 1: I just say, you don't need to be looking for

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Speaker 1: a man right now, Andrea. You need to You need

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Speaker 1: to find yourself. You need to find contentment alone and single,

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Speaker 1: just like I said in the last question. But I

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Speaker 1: understand that there's this urgent see because you have babies

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Speaker 1: at home, and I wish you didn't. I wish you

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Speaker 1: didn't and well, I'm sorry, I'm so glad you have

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Speaker 1: these two, but I wish you weren't in the situation

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Speaker 1: of being single with them, is what I meant to say.

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Speaker 1: They were a blessing, and I understand that, but I

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Speaker 1: wish that you. I wish that you'd weren't in this

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Speaker 1: searching place with them, because they're gonna feel that pain

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Speaker 1: with you, and so I would encourage you instead of

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Speaker 1: where's the next guy? Are they flirting? It should have

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Speaker 1: go on a date. Just pump the brakes. Pump the brakes,

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Speaker 1: gather yourself, breathe, drive your truck, listen to podcast, read

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Speaker 1: the Bible, find God, and let this whole situation just

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Speaker 1: settle a little bit. It's like it's like you have

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Speaker 1: a glass of water with glitter in the bottom and

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Speaker 1: you've just shaken it up and the glitter's going everywhere.

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Speaker 1: But if you just put the glass down, everything settles

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Speaker 1: to the bottom until you want to stir it again. Right,

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Speaker 1: So just leave it alone for a second. Pump the brakes.

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Speaker 1: And I know that's hard because you want somebody to

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Speaker 1: take care of you and to complete your family. And

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Speaker 1: that's why, that's why, that's why God created man and

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Speaker 1: woman to be together and to be married and to

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Speaker 1: start a family, because it just it's it's a complete

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Speaker 1: circle that way. And if it gets out of order,

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Speaker 1: which it does, and sometimes it's just not our fault.

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Speaker 1: I'm just not your fault. But but Andrea, it's just

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Speaker 1: that's why you're in this difficult situation. I would ask

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Speaker 1: you to just let it settle to the bottom. For

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Speaker 1: a minute and and focus on driving and don't. This

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Speaker 1: isn't a big math problem. This is not like a

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Speaker 1: Batman riddle to try to figure out the next man.

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Speaker 1: You're not taking cues and learning. Just live your life,

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Speaker 1: read your Bible, grow your faith, get on that path

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Speaker 1: as being a great mother and a great employee. And

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Speaker 1: watch as someone comes around and parallels you with that path,

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Speaker 1: someone that's right for you, that comes alongside you, with

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Speaker 1: you moving the same direction, not some truck passing you

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Speaker 1: in the night, flying by. And if you don't, if

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Speaker 1: you don't flash your brights at them, they're gonna miss you.

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Speaker 1: You know. That's that's what the game that you're playing

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Speaker 1: right now is like, Oh God, I'm gonna miss them

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Speaker 1: if I don't do something or notice them or catch

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Speaker 1: on to the cues or the clues or the riddle.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's like it's like none of that. You want.

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Speaker 1: You want a truck to just pull up right next

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Speaker 1: side you and go. You going that way, I'm going

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Speaker 1: that way too. Let's go together and it will happen. Okay,

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Speaker 1: thank you for your email, Andrea. Next one says, subject

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Speaker 1: line marriage, faith and mental health. Hey Granger, I'm twenty

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Speaker 1: seven years old. I've been married to my wife for

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Speaker 1: six years. We have three children, ages five, three, and two. Recently,

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Speaker 1: my wife had an affair at our home, among sending

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Speaker 1: photographs to him and another I'm at a place in

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Speaker 1: my life where I carry great sadness. I struggle to

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Speaker 1: see the path that I should be on in my life,

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Speaker 1: and it has been flipped upside down. I pray for

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Speaker 1: healing for both my wife and I that our marriage

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Speaker 1: may be saved. This is the darkest my life has

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Speaker 1: ever been, and I know that something must change so

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Speaker 1: that I can be able to be the father of

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Speaker 1: my children that they need, and possibly a better husband.

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Speaker 1: I pray when I can, which isn't enough. But we

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Speaker 1: do not attend church anymore. As my wife disclosed she

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Speaker 1: believes in a higher power, just not the Christian faith.

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Speaker 1: I'm unsure what to do or where to turn. Another

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Speaker 1: tough one. Logan twenty seven years old, six years married,

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Speaker 1: three kids and going through a tough time. Logan, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry. I'm so sorry that you have to you

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Speaker 1: have to be in this storm right now and you

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Speaker 1: have to turn to this podcast and another people around you.

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Speaker 1: I would go, I would go tomorrow. If you hear this,

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Speaker 1: I would go tomorrow to that church, the one that

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Speaker 1: you want to go to. I could tell you want to,

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Speaker 1: but you don't. I would go tomorrow, and I would

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Speaker 1: I would go to their, to the offices and just go, hey,

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Speaker 1: my name is Logan, and I need some help. I

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Speaker 1: need some help, and they're gonna know what to do

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Speaker 1: if it's the right church, and it probably is. My

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Speaker 1: name is Logan. I need some help. I'm struggling. I

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Speaker 1: feel alone. I'm a father, I'm in a dark spot

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Speaker 1: in my marriage. My wife is not a Christian anymore.

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Speaker 1: She believes in a higher power which is created problems.

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Speaker 1: And I need some counseling. I need some I need

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Speaker 1: some counsel some wise counsel around me, and I need direction.

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Speaker 1: I would do that, Logan would. I would go there

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Speaker 1: and until and you you stay there until you find

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Speaker 1: somebody that can sit with you and and go come

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Speaker 1: on in. Yeah. Absolutely, Can you meet on tuesdays? How

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Speaker 1: about how about your lunch break on Tuesdays? Can you

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Speaker 1: come in here? Yes I can, and commit to that

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Speaker 1: and commit to figuring this out with this with this

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Speaker 1: person at the church. You also mentioned that you pray,

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Speaker 1: but not enough. And so I would ask you around

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Speaker 1: the campfire here, I would say, why is that we

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Speaker 1: have this tendency in our life to think that prayer

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Speaker 1: is the last resort. You've heard people say nothing left

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Speaker 1: to do now but pray. Well, this is funny because

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Speaker 1: the Bible says that's the first thing we do. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking logan, I'm talking on your knees at night. I'm

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Speaker 1: talking against your bedside. Hard God, I feel alone, Be

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Speaker 1: present to me, Show yourself to me. I'm in this storm.

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Speaker 1: When is the sun coming up? Right? I can't take

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Speaker 1: the rain anymore. But I know you could bring the sun, God,

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Speaker 1: show it to me, Show me the light in this

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Speaker 1: This is too dark for me to handle. And that's

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Speaker 1: the truth. And do that every day, repeat every day,

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Speaker 1: every day, and go to that church every day. There's

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Speaker 1: deeper problems here. There's deeper issues going on here than

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Speaker 1: what you just mentioned in your email. And you know that,

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Speaker 1: wise counsel, it's time let's take a break and bear

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Speaker 1: the Movement. Okay, welcome back to rainy Texas. It is

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00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 1: pouring down rain outside. I'm finishing this podcast and then

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00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:48,760
Speaker 1: I'm heading back out to the movie set pretty much

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Speaker 1: right when I upload it. So my life, my life

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00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:57,479
Speaker 1: right now, is one thing after another, and that's a

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Speaker 1: good thing. That's a good thing. Very I feel very blessed,

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Speaker 1: and I love doing this podcast. It would be so

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Speaker 1: easy just to take a break and be like, you

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00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,560
Speaker 1: know what, I got a lot of stuff going on

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Speaker 1: right now. I got the radio show, got the movie set,

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00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 1: got the family. I'm gonna I'm gonna hold off on

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Speaker 1: the podcast for a month, like pause it for a month.

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Speaker 1: And then I'm like, oh, I can't. I can't. There's

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Speaker 1: too many questions, and I just I feel like it matters,

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Speaker 1: you know, And in life, listen, I used to think

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00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:32,720
Speaker 1: to myself that we should. You know, I came to

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00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,159
Speaker 1: this conclusion several years ago that you know what, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do things that make me happy. That's what I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do. I'm gonna do things that make me happy,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna pursue those things. I'm gonna chase happiness

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Speaker 1: that'll make me happy. Right And so whenever I look

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Speaker 1: at a list of things to do, I look at it,

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Speaker 1: I look down the list, and I go out, of

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Speaker 1: these things, what makes me happy? Do those? If you

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Speaker 1: guys have been listening to me for a while, No,

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Speaker 1: you know me better than that. You know that I'm

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Speaker 1: not like that anymore. Now. It's not it's not chasing happiness.

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Speaker 1: And I had to learn the hard way that we

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Speaker 1: do things that matter. That's what we do in life.

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Speaker 1: We go after things that matter. If we only chase

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Speaker 1: things that make us happy, it would be what a

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Speaker 1: what a terrible unfulfilling life that would be just because

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Speaker 1: you're happy. What does that matter? Doesn't matter. But when

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Speaker 1: we do things to others that matter, that we contribute,

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Speaker 1: we're adding something to this world. When we just want happiness,

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Speaker 1: we're taking it, we're soaking in from others or the environment.

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Speaker 1: But when we do things that matter, we're putting it

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Speaker 1: back out from us, and that is so much more fulfilling.

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Speaker 1: That's when we go to our deathbeds and we look

425
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:54,439
Speaker 1: back on our life, what are we gonna say. You're

426
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 1: gonna say, Man, I had a great life. I did

427
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,000
Speaker 1: everything that made me happy. Are you going to go,

428
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:01,239
Speaker 1: I had a great life because I did things that

429
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:08,120
Speaker 1: mattered to others. That's legacy. That's it. And so I'm

430
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: not there yet, but that's where my head is, and

431
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 1: that's why I'm gonna keep doing this podcast because I

432
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: believe that it matters. And don't get me wrong, I

433
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: get a lot of that. I get a lot out

434
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: of this for myself too. I get a lot from

435
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:30,360
Speaker 1: your questions and so it matters to me too. Next

436
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: next on the list here, subject line says suicide Bible

437
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: hope slash forgiveness. That's a big one, Haddie Granger. I'd

438
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: from a small town in Franklin, Texas, Third Texas email

439
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: in a row awesome shout out to Franklin. It says

440
00:25:45,640 --> 00:25:50,960
Speaker 1: parentheses three A Division two state champs this year. Congrats man, congrats.

441
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,360
Speaker 1: My dad passed away in twenty twenty dwo to suicide.

442
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 1: If you have lost someone to suicide before, I'm genuinely sorry.

443
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 1: Little backstory. Grew up Southern Baptist, nothing against them at all.

444
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: I was told by my mom, when you commit suicide,

445
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: you go to Hell. Never understood suicide growing up, seemed

446
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 1: something very selfish. Fast forward to twenty twenty, my dad

447
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 1: committed suicide, and all of these thoughts came back to

448
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,199
Speaker 1: my mind. Did he go to Heaven? I know when

449
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: he was younger he accepted Jesus Christ as his savior

450
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,400
Speaker 1: and always believed, but he did not live a Christian

451
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 1: life anyways. I would love to hear what you have

452
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: to say about this as honestly as you can. When

453
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,800
Speaker 1: I ask parentheses, not often I feel like people don't

454
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: want to be honest with the broken woman in front

455
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: of them. Thanks, I'm twenty nine years old, married with

456
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,439
Speaker 1: a child. Just so you can get to know me. Okay,

457
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:54,400
Speaker 1: you're young, twenty nine. This comes from Jessica. Jessica, I'm

458
00:26:54,440 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 1: so sorry, but you lost your dad and I want

459
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 1: to dive into this, and yes, I want to be

460
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: honest with you. I'm honest with the other questions about relationships.

461
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: I might as well be honest about this. And I've

462
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:13,439
Speaker 1: said this before. My honesty doesn't mean that's my truth

463
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:19,399
Speaker 1: or your truth. It just means that's my honest answer

464
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 1: to your question. Right. I talked about this or something

465
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 1: similar several episodes ago about suicide, like you, Jessica, I

466
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:38,479
Speaker 1: didn't know a lot about suicide and I didn't have

467
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 1: any close suicide around me until I got older. And

468
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: I did a documentary in twenty eighteen called They Were

469
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 1: There and it's called a Hero's Documentary, and me and

470
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,879
Speaker 1: my videographer Paul and lots of others went out to

471
00:27:55,880 --> 00:28:01,160
Speaker 1: far West Texas and we shot this documentary based around

472
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:07,919
Speaker 1: the lives of five soldiers that died. One of them

473
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 1: was by suicide. Through all these soldiers I talked to

474
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: their families extensively. We had many, many conversations with their

475
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 1: families and really highlighted the lives of the people that

476
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: they were so they could be always remembered. And you

477
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: could look this up. It's on YouTube. Actually it's called

478
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: Granger Smith They were there, a hero's documentary. You could

479
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 1: find it on YouTube. And I love that documentary. I

480
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 1: worked so hard on it. Paul and I worked for

481
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 1: a year to put that together. And we walked one

482
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,880
Speaker 1: hundred miles in the desert for five days, and each day,

483
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: twenty miles was all about one of these five soldiers.

484
00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 1: Talked about them, talked about their lives. We read letters

485
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,719
Speaker 1: from their wives or husbands or family members or mothers

486
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: or brothers, sisters. We went through some of their their

487
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: belongings out there in the desert, went through their some

488
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: of their clothes and their jewelry and boots, different things

489
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: that they have, just to to fully understand them. One

490
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: of them was a suicide death. I came to understand

491
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: then more of what suicide is that I didn't know.

492
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: And you know a lot of people will say instead

493
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: of saying committed suicide, they'll say death by suicide. Because

494
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: suicide is a form of mental illness, of course, like

495
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 1: it's a it's an injury you get to your brain

496
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 1: that's so severe through some kind of PTSD that you

497
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 1: can't you can't survive anymore with it. That's how severe

498
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 1: it is. And the trauma to the brain, through either

499
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 1: one event or through a compounding series of events, get

500
00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 1: your brain to a point where you cannot live in

501
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 1: it anymore. And so that's why they say death by suicide,

502
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,080
Speaker 1: because it's not You aren't in a right mind to

503
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 1: commit anything at that point, so you don't do it

504
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 1: to yourself. One human is not capable of taking his

505
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: or her own life in the right mind. Okay, so

506
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: death by suicide means you were killed by the situation

507
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: at hand. It doesn't make a family member like you

508
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,560
Speaker 1: feel any better about this situation. I'm not going to

509
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 1: tell you that, So that then, Jessica, you could walk

510
00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 1: away and go, oh, feel better about it now. No,

511
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 1: it's murder in a very different way. It's not someone

512
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: else's hand. It's not necessarily like an act accident. It's

513
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: murder from your own hand. All that being said, and

514
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 1: I talked about this a few episodes ago, from the

515
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 1: Christian perspective. From the Christian perspective, murder, right, murder is

516
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 1: a sin, and that's what death by suicide is. It's murder.

517
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: It just happens to be yourself. The Gospel of Jesus,

518
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 1: when he came, God in flesh, came to this earth,

519
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: he came to forgive sinners. Murder is a sin. He

520
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:46,719
Speaker 1: came to forgive sinners. So the answer, the quick answer

521
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: to your question is is he in Heaven or Hell?

522
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: No one can tell you that he's in hell. No

523
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 1: one can tell you that. It's not a Southern Baptist thing,

524
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 1: it's not a certain church cult thing. It is not

525
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: biblical that anyone could tell anyone else that they're going

526
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,080
Speaker 1: to hell because they don't know that person's heart and

527
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 1: they don't know what happened at the last seconds of

528
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: their life. We can't say that about the worst mass

529
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,640
Speaker 1: murder in the world. We can't say that about them

530
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 1: because we don't know what happened to them at the

531
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: very end, even if they didn't have the fruits that

532
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 1: you would expect of a Christian to have their whole life,

533
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 1: we don't know, so we can't say it. And the

534
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 1: example we have is right there in the Bible. You

535
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 1: know that the thief on the cross right next to Jesus,

536
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 1: he was a thief. He was Whatever he did, this thief,

537
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 1: whatever he did was bad enough for capital punishment, right.

538
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 1: He was getting killed on a cross, this thief. So

539
00:32:54,600 --> 00:32:59,480
Speaker 1: whatever his life was, it was not good. But he's

540
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:04,280
Speaker 1: hung there on the cross next to Jesus, and he said,

541
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: will you remember me when you go into your kingdom.

542
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: This is minutes before he died. And Jesus said, today

543
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: you will be with me in paradise. That is incredible

544
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 1: to all sinners of the world, including me, because we

545
00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: all are. That's incredible news. It's incredible. It throws out

546
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 1: every false notion of religion that we could possibly have,

547
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 1: that you have to live a life worthy of it,

548
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 1: live a life worthy of heaven, or live a life

549
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: worthy of hell. Either way, but it's all about the

550
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: living of it. And it's Jesus just threw it out.

551
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 1: When Jesus went to hang out, he went to he

552
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 1: went to the sinners, He went to the prostitutes and

553
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: the thieves, and he hung out with them. And he said,

554
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 1: it's not the well that need a physician, it's the

555
00:33:55,720 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 1: sick that need a doctor. Right, So we don't know

556
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 1: what happened to your dad. We can't look at his

557
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 1: life and go by judging by the life that he lived.

558
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:09,920
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure he's in hell. You can't say that,

559
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,879
Speaker 1: No one can because we don't know his heart, because

560
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: he could have been just like that thief. For at

561
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: the last second he said, well you remember me when

562
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,760
Speaker 1: you go into your kingdom. What if he did? Jesus

563
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: came to forgive sinners. Murder is a sin, Suicide is

564
00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 1: a murder, meaning suicide can be forgiven. And we don't know.

565
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:35,399
Speaker 1: We don't know what was in his heart. But now

566
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: it turns the whole message. Now turns to you. It

567
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 1: turns to you knowing that message. Why do we need

568
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 1: to know that message? Like? Why we need to know

569
00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: that the power of God is so incredible, so great

570
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: that it forgives even the worst sinners of the worst sin.

571
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 1: That's incredible. Right. We don't have a God that sits

572
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 1: up there like Santah Clause with the list and checks

573
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 1: us off every time we do something good and goes, ooh,

574
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 1: put one another one in the good column. So far,

575
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: he's got one thousand and seventy eight hundred in the

576
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: good column and one thousand and twenty three in the

577
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: bad call. Okay, he's doing pretty good. Keep it going, buddy,

578
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,840
Speaker 1: you might get to heaven. No, that's not that's another religion.

579
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:31,720
Speaker 1: It's not Christianity, that's my opinion. But it's biblically based truth. Okay, Jessica,

580
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 1: So you could sleep at night and go. No one

581
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: can tell me that about my dad, no one. I'm

582
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:47,920
Speaker 1: so sorry for your loss. Next question says injuries, faith

583
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: and tough decisions says Hey Granger. I've been going through

584
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 1: a really rough time lately, making a lot of big decisions.

585
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,800
Speaker 1: To start off, I tore my ACL in November after

586
00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,400
Speaker 1: making it into the varsity basketball team as a freshman.

587
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,040
Speaker 1: This is throwing a wrench in some of my biggest

588
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:05,439
Speaker 1: goals and plans and has brought a lot of trouble

589
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: into my life. Not only am I out for the season,

590
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 1: but I'm out for the next eleven months and I'm

591
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 1: going into surgery soon. Now. I am also involved in FFA,

592
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 1: I show livestock at the fair, I play softball, hike

593
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: and hunt. I'm unable to do all of these things

594
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: that brought me joy. During my recovery, I'm being pressured

595
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,959
Speaker 1: into making decisions about how I will spend my time

596
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 1: after surgery and maintain my goal of being a three

597
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,520
Speaker 1: point three sport athlete through high school. At this point,

598
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if that's even a realistic goal. From

599
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,720
Speaker 1: that standpoint, I feel kind of lost. On the other hand,

600
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 1: I think it's opened up totally different opportunities in my life.

601
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,360
Speaker 1: I have recently gotten even closer with my best friend,

602
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: and she's helped me lead me into joining FCA, which

603
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 1: has brought me back to the Lord. I was wondering

604
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:53,880
Speaker 1: if you had any suggestions on how to continue to

605
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: strengthen my relationship with the Lord, how to learn how

606
00:36:56,320 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 1: to trust myself. To add to this, my dad thinks

607
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: I should try trap shooting. It's also a sport I

608
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: could do during recovery. Do you have any opinions on

609
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 1: any of this? Thank you so much for your time, Madison. Madison,

610
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:17,080
Speaker 1: it's a good question, and tearing your acls is tough.

611
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: It's a tough thing. You're out of so many things

612
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: that you love in your life. But acls through surgery

613
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 1: will heal right. I've known many of them in my life.

614
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: I've never done it myself, but I've had many friends

615
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 1: that have torn their ACL, including my brother Parker. He

616
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,880
Speaker 1: tore his when he was like twelve years old, really

617
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: young to tear ACL. And I will say this will pass,

618
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 1: it just will it will. But you're going to be

619
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: out for a little bit, So what do you do

620
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 1: in the meantime. Well, I remember going through this when

621
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:53,399
Speaker 1: I broke a couple of ribs and punctured a lung

622
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: falling off the stage and you could actually look at

623
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:00,640
Speaker 1: that on YouTube. I hate that it's on YouTube which

624
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: you get to actually see Granger Smith breaks his ribs.

625
00:38:04,080 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 1: Somebody filmed it. It was terrible, and it was during

626
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:12,759
Speaker 1: toy season. I was rocking and rolling. Man, we were

627
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:17,000
Speaker 1: going and everything was great and boom, two ribs are broken.

628
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,640
Speaker 1: I'm out for and the lung was punctured, so out

629
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: for minimum six weeks. I'm out. And I had the

630
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: same feeling that you have. I had this feeling of oh, man,

631
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:32,280
Speaker 1: everything I love in my life it's put on hold.

632
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: What am I going to do? How am I going

633
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:35,799
Speaker 1: to make money? How am I going to pay the band?

634
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 1: How am I to keep the bills paid? Maybe people,

635
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:41,359
Speaker 1: maybe my fans are going to forget about me because

636
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 1: I'm not touring anymore. And I had to just first

637
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 1: of all, quiet all those thoughts. And then I started

638
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: going through this stuff in my head, like, well, what

639
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 1: what is the best road to recovery? That's the first

640
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,799
Speaker 1: thing I thought of, what's the best road to recovery?

641
00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:01,479
Speaker 1: Like what would an NFL quarterback do? So I've looked

642
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:06,120
Speaker 1: up stuff like ice baths and eating more vegetables in

643
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 1: my life, like putting more greens in my life, because

644
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: I would sit there and watch Netflix and watch these

645
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 1: documentaries on how good vegetables are for you and we

646
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 1: don't eat enough of them, and so I would watch

647
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: that and and so I started I learned things then

648
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: Madison during that time that I still do today today. Today,

649
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,840
Speaker 1: I still I still put greens in a smoothie with

650
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:36,720
Speaker 1: protein every morning every day. That's from breaking those ribs.

651
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 1: There is there is so many things I learned, so

652
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: many people I found on Netflix and and I found

653
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: I found speakers and life coaches and so many of

654
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:53,440
Speaker 1: these new elements that were introduced into my life. When

655
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:56,879
Speaker 1: I had finally I had time to slow down and

656
00:39:56,920 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 1: focus on that focus on myself no doubt. If you

657
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: put your mind that way, there will be things that

658
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: come up in your life during your healing of your

659
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 1: ACL that you'll carry with you a long time, and

660
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,520
Speaker 1: you'll look back at the storm. What seems like is

661
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,319
Speaker 1: you know the end of your life. You're a three

662
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 1: sport athlete. It's all over. Well. Sometimes God has a

663
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 1: way of going, hold up, hold up. I want you

664
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 1: to think about me for a second. And it's hard.

665
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: It's hard to know that God, you let this ACL

666
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,080
Speaker 1: thing happen. But look what happened. You just told me

667
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 1: you joined FCA. You're getting closer to the Lord. You're

668
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 1: gonna get more time to watch sermons online. You're gonna

669
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 1: get more time to read your Bible. When you get

670
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,120
Speaker 1: your knee propped up, you're not gonna be running around

671
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 1: like crazy going to practices and games and filling your

672
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: schedule up with that kind of stuff. You've gotta be

673
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 1: better for this. We're better from any storm. But when

674
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: you're in it, it's hard. It's hard. You're in the turmoil,

675
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:01,279
Speaker 1: you're in the clouds, you're in the rain. But then

676
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 1: the sun comes back out again and you go, wow,

677
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 1: I actually made it. Now it's a pretty big storm.

678
00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,640
Speaker 1: It says at the end, you're fifteen. You're fifteen years

679
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: old and you went through ACL surgery and recovery. That's

680
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,640
Speaker 1: a pretty big storm. Our storms are always relative to

681
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 1: where we are, who we are in our lives at

682
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: the time, and being fifteen and tearing your ACL is big.

683
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:27,520
Speaker 1: It's a big deal. Everyone listening goes Man's that's tough

684
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 1: for a fifteen year old to sit out for that long.

685
00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: And then you start wondering like maybe you know, I've

686
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:35,879
Speaker 1: googled things and I'm wondering like, maybe it won't heal right,

687
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 1: Maybe I'll walk with the limp forever. Just reject that,

688
00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 1: reject those thoughts. You're gonna be good, You're gonna be okay,

689
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be better for this. Let's bring up

690
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 1: another one here, man, we got relationship questions all over

691
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:06,919
Speaker 1: the place. Okay, let's let's go so many relationships. That's okay,

692
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,760
Speaker 1: it's okay. Let's do this. One subject line is breakups

693
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: and how to move forward. Hey Granger, love your podcast.

694
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 1: Recently found it due to TikTok, but I've been a

695
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: listener of your music for many years. I have a

696
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,680
Speaker 1: couple questions for you, hoping to get some advice. I'm

697
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:23,759
Speaker 1: twenty four years old from Southeast Michigan. I went through

698
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: a breakup with my ex back in February of twenty twenty.

699
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 1: We were together about three years. Since then, we're on

700
00:42:29,680 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 1: and off for a little while, but haven't really had

701
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,520
Speaker 1: any kind of communication for or contact. For the last

702
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,960
Speaker 1: six months, I've been struggling to let her go. I've

703
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 1: been to therapy, spoken with the Lord again and again,

704
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: and asked him to guide me through this hardship in

705
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,640
Speaker 1: my life, but I can never feel like I'm making progress.

706
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 1: I can't shake the feeling that she's the person for me.

707
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: I've tried to allow us to have some space from

708
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:55,919
Speaker 1: each other, to grow as people and hopefully come back

709
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,320
Speaker 1: to one another one day, But every day I'm consumed

710
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 1: about thought, with thoughts of doubt, fear, and anxiety. I'm

711
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: pretty sure she's sleeping with someone new. I'm sorry, I

712
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:11,479
Speaker 1: read that wrong. I'm sorry, buddy, I'm pretty sure she's

713
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 1: seeing someone new. I don't know why I put an

714
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,439
Speaker 1: L in front of seeing she's seeing someone new now,

715
00:43:17,480 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: and that just kills me on the inside. But I

716
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 1: hope that it's good for her. I've been trying to

717
00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: be positive about everything that's happened. I'm thankful in some

718
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 1: ways this happened because this breakup has brought me back

719
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,240
Speaker 1: to the Lord, and I'm working every day to strengthen

720
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,839
Speaker 1: that and to be more positive. Any advice you could give,

721
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 1: I would appreciate it. God bless Stephen. Okay, Stephen, you're

722
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 1: twenty four years old. Shout out to Michigan. Love Michigan.

723
00:43:46,160 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: You guys, you guys had a rocky relationship. You broke

724
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: up February twenty twenty. You were on and on, I mean,

725
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 1: excuse me, on and off. That's normal. On and off

726
00:43:56,760 --> 00:44:00,439
Speaker 1: after relationship is normal because you're like, well, we broke

727
00:44:00,520 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 1: up for a reason, but maybe those reasons aren't that

728
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,200
Speaker 1: big a deal. So you try it again. Then you're like, yeah,

729
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 1: they were a big deal, So you get back with her,

730
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 1: and then you get back off again. So that's normal.

731
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:14,080
Speaker 1: But the kicker here is you haven't had any communication

732
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 1: for the last six months. You've been struggling to let

733
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:23,200
Speaker 1: her go. You've been to therapy, you pray about it.

734
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 1: You think she's seeing somebody new. You're consumed every day

735
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: by thoughts of doubt, fear, and anxiety and the key

736
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: to this whole thing, Stephen, as you're not content with

737
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:45,879
Speaker 1: who you are right now by yourself alone, single, it's

738
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 1: a scary thought for you to be without her, as

739
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: if she is completing you when you never needed to

740
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:59,240
Speaker 1: be completed to begin with. You already are complete, Steven.

741
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: You are already who you are. You've got every component.

742
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,879
Speaker 1: You got ten fingers and ten toes, and two ears

743
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: and a nose. You already are complete. And believe it

744
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 1: or not, that heart beating inside your chest doesn't need

745
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 1: another heart next to it to pump the same amount

746
00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:19,799
Speaker 1: of blood that as humans, we start doubting that, we

747
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:24,719
Speaker 1: start thinking that, no, there's this other person will make

748
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 1: my heart beat better than it beats now, and it's

749
00:45:27,320 --> 00:45:31,560
Speaker 1: just not true. The right person will add to you

750
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: and add to your life and highlight all of your

751
00:45:35,200 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 1: attributes better, but never complete. And so right now, this

752
00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:47,000
Speaker 1: emptiness you're feeling is, this is heartbrokenness. But I just

753
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 1: need some time and you have to get away from

754
00:45:50,280 --> 00:45:53,760
Speaker 1: this nagging thought. You're gonna have to make a decision, Stephen,

755
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: that you will not be consumed by these thoughts anymore.

756
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:03,000
Speaker 1: Have you told yourself that I know what the truth is.

757
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: The truth is you kind of like being consumed by

758
00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:11,560
Speaker 1: those thoughts because as long as you're being consumed by

759
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 1: those thoughts, you're still close to her because she's a

760
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,239
Speaker 1: part of those thoughts and she's a part of your past.

761
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 1: And so the nights and you get sad and you

762
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,200
Speaker 1: start thinking about her, and you start flipping through pictures

763
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 1: that you guys had together, and you creep her out

764
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:29,560
Speaker 1: on Instagram. The nights when you're doing that, you're close

765
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:33,840
Speaker 1: with her again. And so even though it hurts, you

766
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 1: got a piece of her again, just for that moment,

767
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:40,920
Speaker 1: and it's satisfying a need, it's scratching an itch for you.

768
00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:45,719
Speaker 1: But you know it's leading nowhere because it's false. It's

769
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:49,640
Speaker 1: a lie. She's not here anymore, Stephen. She's gone. She's

770
00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 1: with somebody new. So you come to the realization that

771
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,960
Speaker 1: she's gone, and you tell yourself, I will not be

772
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: consumed by these thoughts anymore. I will not pull out

773
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 1: my phone and start looking up old pictures of us anymore.

774
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,920
Speaker 1: I will not hear that voicemail that she sent me anymore.

775
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,719
Speaker 1: I will delete that text thread that we had six

776
00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 1: months ago. I will delete it. I will not tell

777
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:20,280
Speaker 1: yourself this, Stephen. I will not be consumed by this anymore.

778
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:26,600
Speaker 1: It's a lie, and you're falling into the trap of it.

779
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 1: And as long as you fall back into it, as

780
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,200
Speaker 1: long as you want to put on the facade that

781
00:47:32,280 --> 00:47:34,799
Speaker 1: it's that you hate it and it hurts you, but

782
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 1: the truth is you need to think about her. As

783
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,200
Speaker 1: long as you keep lying to yourself about that, it's

784
00:47:41,239 --> 00:47:44,439
Speaker 1: gonna just keep going and going and going and going.

785
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 1: You want to be healed? Do you want to be healed,

786
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,919
Speaker 1: then tell yourself. I will not be consumed by these

787
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: thoughts of fear, anxiety and doubt anymore. I am fine.

788
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,560
Speaker 1: I'm a human. We have made it through so many

789
00:47:56,560 --> 00:47:59,200
Speaker 1: things in history. I come from a legacy of the

790
00:47:59,280 --> 00:48:03,680
Speaker 1: human race, and we have survived wars and plagues and

791
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: storms and floods and fires, and somehow we make it

792
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:12,720
Speaker 1: because we're resilient to creatures. That's how God created us.

793
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:16,080
Speaker 1: And I'm one of them. I'm one of this human race,

794
00:48:17,239 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 1: and I'm resilient, and I will not be consumed by

795
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: this girl. And as soon as you do that and

796
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 1: make up your mind, boom, watch the doors that open

797
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:30,759
Speaker 1: for you. Watch the opportunity you're giving yourself now for

798
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: someone new. It might be five months, might be five years,

799
00:48:37,040 --> 00:48:40,280
Speaker 1: might be fifteen years. I don't know. But you're opening

800
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: the door wider and wider with all this time that

801
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 1: goes by. With every day that goes by, you're opening

802
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 1: that cracked door of another relationship, another opportunity for your

803
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 1: future spouse. At twenty four years old, you're opening that

804
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:55,840
Speaker 1: crack a little bit more, a little bit more, a

805
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 1: little bit more. And the longer time goes by, good

806
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,600
Speaker 1: for you. Man. The more time that goes by, good.

807
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:05,440
Speaker 1: The wider that door gets, the bigger the opportunity, the

808
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:09,279
Speaker 1: more space you're giving it, and the more opportunity that

809
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,560
Speaker 1: people can come to you through it. Open the door, dude,

810
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:18,800
Speaker 1: don't live by that lie. Preach to yourself. I will

811
00:49:18,840 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 1: not be consumed by this any longer. And you delete

812
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,040
Speaker 1: that stuff on your phone, You pull that stuff out

813
00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:28,000
Speaker 1: of your brain. Distract it if you have to. The

814
00:49:28,040 --> 00:49:31,760
Speaker 1: brain is a funny organ, right, Distract it. Go somewhere,

815
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:34,719
Speaker 1: Go do something. Go ride a roller coaster, bro, you

816
00:49:34,760 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 1: can't be on the roller coaster on a big, old

817
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: wooden roller coaster, screaming down and thinking about heartbreak. You can't,

818
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 1: it's not possible. That's a distraction. That's a good distraction.

819
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 1: Go skydiving, bro. You're gonna make it. You're gonna make it,

820
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,760
Speaker 1: and you're not alone. As you've heard from these other emails,

821
00:49:56,800 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 1: You're not alone and still a good question. It's a

822
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:04,200
Speaker 1: normal question. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you

823
00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 1: next episode. Thanks for joining me on the Granger Smith Podcast.

824
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could help me

825
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 1: out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube,

826
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 1: subscribe to this channel. Hit that little like button and

827
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 1: the notification spell so that you never miss anytime I

828
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,440
Speaker 1: upload a video. If you have a question for me

829
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:27,319
Speaker 1: that you would like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast

830
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com yig