Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central. By now, you've all heard
Speaker 1: about how school systems across the US are banning critical
Speaker 1: race theory. And if you're still not sure what critical
Speaker 1: race theory is, don't worry. Neither other people banning It's
Speaker 1: now The States of Florida has announced that it's officially
Speaker 1: begun its purge of all things CRT, but some of
Speaker 1: the targets have taken people by surprise. The Florida Department
Speaker 1: of Education is making ways after rejecting forty one percent
Speaker 1: of submitted math and text books because of touchy and
Speaker 1: prohibited subjects. The state says more than fifty of those
Speaker 1: books include references to critical race theory, among other things
Speaker 1: like common core, and therefore are prohibited under the new
Speaker 1: standards CRT teachings. They were banned from Florida's classroom last year.
Speaker 1: Orange County Classroom Teachers Association president Wendy Dormal and she's baffled.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what is in a math textbook that
Speaker 1: would indoctrinate a child. I really love to see some
Speaker 1: of these rejected books and see what they highlighted. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so would I, because I mean, this makes Florida is
Speaker 1: banning math textbooks because the States says that they teach
Speaker 1: critical race theory. And I'll be honest, I don't even
Speaker 1: understand how that works. I don't like, I get finding
Speaker 1: critical race theory in history books or social studies, but math,
Speaker 1: how how well? Think about it, Trevor, Algebra is just
Speaker 1: a bunch of numbers that rejected their slave names and
Speaker 1: now go by X. How yeah, Trevor. Also, numbers can
Speaker 1: be very triggering for white people. Think about it. Whenever
Speaker 1: a black man dunks on a white man watch on
Speaker 1: his shirt. That's right, numbers. And don't get me started
Speaker 1: on the violence inherent in math. I'll never forget the
Speaker 1: day nine scarred me for life. I'll be honest, But
Speaker 1: I don't know what Florida is trying to do here.
Speaker 1: But any sane person can't agree this is getting out
Speaker 1: of control. I mean, it was bad before, but this
Speaker 1: is getting out of control because now it just feels
Speaker 1: like the States sees critical race theory everywhere in everything.
Speaker 1: You know, It was like a like a hypochondria. It's
Speaker 1: like this milkshake is critical race theory. What yeah, Look,
Speaker 1: it's trying to tell us that the white part is
Speaker 1: keeping the brown man down. Well, maybe the chocolate justination
Speaker 1: to work harder. Maybe you need to relax, my man.
Speaker 1: Also think about this. Let's let's let's play with the logic.
Speaker 1: If they were trying to sneak CRT into the schools,
Speaker 1: why would they do it with math? Math textbooks would
Speaker 1: be the worst place to do it, because who remembers
Speaker 1: anything they learned in math? Huh? Do you remember how
Speaker 1: to use the high part news? Do you? If I said,
Speaker 1: nobody leaves the studio, no one until you show me
Speaker 1: how high parton newsed works, We're dying here. People. Well,
Speaker 1: they're gonna find corpses. Nobody remembers math from school. Nobody,
Speaker 1: even Liam Neeson, his particular set of skills did not
Speaker 1: include high parton news. He's like, I will find you
Speaker 1: and I will kill you. They're like, well, first you
Speaker 1: have to solve a math problem. Uh, it's fine, and
Speaker 1: I'll find another daughter. You know, I actually wish, I
Speaker 1: actually wish there was CRT and math textbooks. I actually
Speaker 1: do yeah, because then we could have solved racism by now,
Speaker 1: just by cheating and going to the back of the
Speaker 1: book with all the answers in it. You know, just
Speaker 1: be at the back of me, like, what is a
Speaker 1: black batman? Oh? My god? Why didn't I think of that?
Speaker 1: All right, but let's move on from that madness in
Speaker 1: Florida to something that's affecting all of us inflation. Thanks
Speaker 1: to inflation, practically every company is raising their prices right now.
Speaker 1: For instance, here in New York, a lot of dollar
Speaker 1: pizza places are now charging a dollar. Yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: you you you think it's minor, but it's actually a
Speaker 1: nightmare because now you either have to carry around an
Speaker 1: extra quarter with you or you gotta give the guy
Speaker 1: two dollars. And now you're carrying around three quarters all day.
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do with that? Huh? Do
Speaker 1: you see slot machines out of the streets in New York?
Speaker 1: You're killing me. But everyone's raising prices, everyone, even Amazon.
Speaker 1: They just announced that they're charging an extra five percent
Speaker 1: inflation fee to its merchants, who will presumably pass that
Speaker 1: extra cost onto the customers, which I'm sorry, people, is bullshit,
Speaker 1: right because Amazon made thirty three billion dollars in profit
Speaker 1: last year. If there's any company that can do just
Speaker 1: a little too absorb the cost of inflation, it's them,
Speaker 1: you know, Amazon, if you're trying to save money, next
Speaker 1: time I buy a toothbrush, maybe don't package it in
Speaker 1: a cardboard box the size of a minivan. Maybe something
Speaker 1: you could say something you see the size of the boxing.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a giant box or timey thing, not
Speaker 1: gonna take time off to fold it, put in my recycling.
Speaker 1: And I'm sad because I thought someone brought me a car. Now,
Speaker 1: now get this, According to a new report, and this
Speaker 1: is really sinister, man, some companies aren't just raising prices
Speaker 1: to keep up with inflation. No, these slick assholes are
Speaker 1: using inflation as an excuse to gouge their customers and
Speaker 1: make even more profits than before, because you see, they
Speaker 1: know they can get away with it. Right now, think
Speaker 1: about it. A year ago, if you saw that the
Speaker 1: price of something shot out out of nowhere, you getting
Speaker 1: mad at the company. But now, when you're paying a
Speaker 1: hundred dollars for detergent, you just think it's inflation, and
Speaker 1: you curse Joe Biden. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. And here's
Speaker 1: how you know. Here's how you know that companies don't
Speaker 1: have to raise their prices. They don't have to because
Speaker 1: one company is refusing to and they're still getting rich.
Speaker 1: You go to the supermarket you hooked just around, and
Speaker 1: you know that nearly all products are getting more expensive
Speaker 1: except Arizona ice tape. The beverage is staying a bottle
Speaker 1: gardless of the rising inflation costs. The company's founder and
Speaker 1: chairman says he is not budging on price on principle
Speaker 1: the company is privately owned. The owner is absorbing the
Speaker 1: higher costs of everything, including the aluminum that they can
Speaker 1: that the iced tea is in, and they're making cuts
Speaker 1: in other areas. Don Botagio, Arizona's seven year old founder
Speaker 1: and chairman, told the Los Angeles Times quote, I don't
Speaker 1: want to do what the bread guys and the gas
Speaker 1: guys and everybody else are doing. Consumers don't need another
Speaker 1: price increase from a guy like me. Yeah, Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: exactly what I'm talking about. You see, you don't have
Speaker 1: to squeeze every lost dollar out of your customers. This
Speaker 1: guy is keeping his products despite inflation, and he even
Speaker 1: puts it on the can so the store can mark
Speaker 1: it up. Yeah, as opposed to Florida Iced Tea, which
Speaker 1: does not put its price on the can. Because those
Speaker 1: numbers are critical race theory, and you know, like it's
Speaker 1: so rare to see a company that's just like, you
Speaker 1: know what, we make enough money, Yeah, we don't need
Speaker 1: our customers to suffer. I bet Snapple could do that too.
Speaker 1: I didn't waste so much money researching those dumb facts.
Speaker 1: I'm here to fill my body with a month's worth
Speaker 1: of sugar, not to learn put information on the inside.
Speaker 1: I gotta sugar higher. And let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: If this Arizona iced tea company can do this, then
Speaker 1: a company like Amazon has no excuse. Yeah. In fact,
Speaker 1: you know what I think. You know what I think.
Speaker 1: I think we should all boycott Amazon. Yeah, and only
Speaker 1: order only order like three things and they instead of five. Yeah,
Speaker 1: make that feel the pay And obviously if you need something,
Speaker 1: if you need something, you should still order it, I mean,
Speaker 1: no matter what. Like no, I mean, there's no need
Speaker 1: to run out of like bubble buff bombs. That goes
Speaker 1: without saying. But aside from that total boycott of more
Speaker 1: than three things per day, yeah, I should put activists
Speaker 1: in my bio for two years now. If you've wanted
Speaker 1: to travel like train plane or dong shaped spaceship, there's
Speaker 1: one thing you needed to have, one a ticket obviously,
Speaker 1: and two you needed to wear a mosque. Well, yesterday
Speaker 1: a federal judge decided that it's time to take our
Speaker 1: masks off. This morning, a site we haven't seen in
Speaker 1: more than a year, travelers maskless on planes and walking
Speaker 1: through airports after a major reversal, a federal judge in
Speaker 1: Florida striking down the mask mandate on public transportation the
Speaker 1: Biden administration saying masks are no longer required on planes, trains, buses,
Speaker 1: and transportation hubs. Now United American, Delta, Southwest, Jet Blue,
Speaker 1: and Alaska Airlines confirming they will no longer make passengers
Speaker 1: mask up. It's fantastic news, queens. We are the champions,
Speaker 1: played on Loop from behind the Sacramento International Airports Southwest
Speaker 1: ticketing encounter today and you can see some staff still
Speaker 1: choosing to wear a face covering. Others did not love it.
Speaker 1: I like seeing everybody's face. Forget what people look like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm actually so happy for that lady. You know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But but I will say, if you forget what your
Speaker 1: friends and family look like in the time that you're
Speaker 1: at the airport, you need to get that checked yeah,
Speaker 1: or you're spending too much time at the airport. What
Speaker 1: are you doing? Oh? Another delay? Who are you? But
Speaker 1: that's right people, As of yesterday, masks are no longer
Speaker 1: required on flights in America, and not just flights. Amtrak
Speaker 1: has said you don't have to wear masks on its
Speaker 1: trains right. Uba has announced that you don't have to
Speaker 1: wear masks in their cause, but you do just left
Speaker 1: a smile politely when the driver tells you what he
Speaker 1: thinks about politics, and various cities have said you no
Speaker 1: longer have to wear masks on their subways or their buses, right,
Speaker 1: although here in New York the m t A Is
Speaker 1: standing firm. They said you still have to wear a
Speaker 1: maskue on the New York City subway, which has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with COVID. It's just an extra layer of
Speaker 1: protection for when you fall asleep and you wake up
Speaker 1: to find a stranger licking you. Very common on the
Speaker 1: f train. But from now on, when you travel in
Speaker 1: most places, mosques are optional, which a lot of people
Speaker 1: are happy about, all right, which makes sense because let's
Speaker 1: be honest, people, traveling with mosques sucks. Right. Your face
Speaker 1: gets sweatsy, alright, you can't pretend that somebody else's breadth
Speaker 1: that stinks. It always feels like someone's using a tiny,
Speaker 1: dull soul on the back of your ears to cut
Speaker 1: them off. There's a lot of reasons to not like moss,
Speaker 1: is what I'm saying. But what a lot of people
Speaker 1: are unhappy about is how and when this rule was changed.
Speaker 1: You see, when they first put in the masque mandates,
Speaker 1: right when they first put it in place, they told
Speaker 1: us when the change would go into effect so people
Speaker 1: could prepare. But for some reason, this rule change happened
Speaker 1: in the middle of people's flights. A mid flight announcement
Speaker 1: for travelers across the country tonight, here is up in
Speaker 1: the air as airline crews got word that the national
Speaker 1: mask mandate was struck down. Slight attendants on one Southwest
Speaker 1: flight collecting the masks from people excited to ditch them.
Speaker 1: Masks for boys pastumers no longer in course, the federal
Speaker 1: mandate requiring masks in all US airports on for aircraft.
Speaker 1: I have so many questions. First of all, why are
Speaker 1: people cheering like that? People are cheering like they just said,
Speaker 1: you can take two bags of chips instead of one.
Speaker 1: Who Hell? Yeah, I'm glad I've made an allar three
Speaker 1: dollars for economy blocks. Yeah, and also that flattened him?
Speaker 1: Who are singing? What was that? It was like the
Speaker 1: worst version of the liking n here a celebration looked
Speaker 1: like Mardy grind the sky and all types of people
Speaker 1: were celebrating, black wild, old young everyone. Actually, if you
Speaker 1: zoom in on that picture, you can eat. Wait wait,
Speaker 1: would you zoom in a little bit more, a little
Speaker 1: closer now, en Hans en Hans, Oh yeah, yeah, everyone
Speaker 1: are celebrating. It's a big deal. So YEA many people
Speaker 1: were celebrating on planes, you know, they were happy about
Speaker 1: the mass change, but many other passengers were silently piste off,
Speaker 1: which I totally get because look, I don't care what
Speaker 1: you think of mosques. You have to admit this is
Speaker 1: insane to change a safety rule in the middle of
Speaker 1: a flight, people, Just as a general rule, nothing should
Speaker 1: change midflight. Ever. Nothing. I don't want the cost changing, right,
Speaker 1: I don't want the cabin pressure changing. I definitely don't
Speaker 1: want my seat changing so that you and shipped next
Speaker 1: to your wife. Look, man, you're smothering her allan Okay,
Speaker 1: she booked separate seats for a reason. Read the size.
Speaker 1: This is why your marriage is in trouble. The point is,
Speaker 1: did you get set for a fake Allen when of
Speaker 1: you was like Allen, Look man, The point is a
Speaker 1: lot of people only booked that flight in the first
Speaker 1: place because they felt safe knowing that everyone had to
Speaker 1: wear masks. Okay, you can't just flip that while people
Speaker 1: already on the plane. You've got to give people a
Speaker 1: chance to decide if this is something they want to do.
Speaker 1: It's crazy, you know, like you can like it's a
Speaker 1: safety This would be like if a roller coaster decided
Speaker 1: to change its safety policies when you're already on the ride,
Speaker 1: tenrian passengers a judge's rule that we no longer need
Speaker 1: the safety bars. You're right to Clem Clement Clement, Clement Clement,
Speaker 1: Clem Clement, clemmituck cover ha ha ha fo m hm.
Speaker 1: That's a true story. So look, if you're angry that
Speaker 1: the rule changed midflights, I think you have every right
Speaker 1: to be a right. We wore masks for what two
Speaker 1: years on planes. I think people could have waited one
Speaker 1: more day, one more day. People were acting like they
Speaker 1: were suffocating in their seats, yes, yes, I'll have a
Speaker 1: coke please now. Because mosques in America have somehow turned
Speaker 1: into a political battle, A lot of people weren't just
Speaker 1: angry at the judge who made this ruling or at
Speaker 1: the airlines who instantly allowed the change. You know, a
Speaker 1: lot of people online are angry at the flight attendants
Speaker 1: and at the pilots who are celebrating the change. But look,
Speaker 1: I don't agree with it, and I'll tell you why.
Speaker 1: People forget that. Flight attendants weren't just happy about the
Speaker 1: mosques coming off because of politics. No, a lot of
Speaker 1: them were happy because of the way people react to
Speaker 1: mosques and the fact that it has turned their everyday
Speaker 1: lives basically into UFC flights. So we're wearing a mask
Speaker 1: on a plane have overwhelmingly made up the number of
Speaker 1: unworly passengers on flights thousands since the start of the pandemic. Yeah,
Speaker 1: two years of that. I don't even know what was
Speaker 1: going on, Like all those people's masks made of cocaine,
Speaker 1: what was going on there? You know? It's actually amazing
Speaker 1: that humans can invent jet airplanes to fry fly around
Speaker 1: the planets, you know, But then inside those technological models
Speaker 1: which just wild animals, because nobody, nobody should be act
Speaker 1: thing that way over a mosque. The only time it's
Speaker 1: appropriate to have that level of emotion on a flight
Speaker 1: is if the plane is crashing right or if the
Speaker 1: in flight entertainment is stuck on Morbius. I mean, then
Speaker 1: then you can throw punches. You throw those punches. But
Speaker 1: as for the flight attendants, they already have to deal
Speaker 1: with so much ship. I get why they are happy.
Speaker 1: I think of all the other things they have to do. Huh,
Speaker 1: doing overhead tetris without giant bags, and they're helping parents
Speaker 1: with screaming kids. They're giving people both bags and they
Speaker 1: have to collect the both bags back. Yeah, so forgive
Speaker 1: them if they're happy that they no longer have to
Speaker 1: be the bounces of the sky. Okay, they're humans. Here's
Speaker 1: what I think people need to understand about this. When
Speaker 1: it comes to wearing masks, not everyone is having the
Speaker 1: same experience that you are. Remember that, Yeah, you hate
Speaker 1: the mosque because it makes you break out. Someone else
Speaker 1: likes the mosque because the immunocompromised and acne is the
Speaker 1: least of their problems. And some people don't really care. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so they'll wear it if they have to, and they
Speaker 1: won't if they don't. That's the truth. And I'm just
Speaker 1: saying I can see this from everyone's side, from Mosca's side,
Speaker 1: from Anti Moscar's side, even COVID side. You know, yeah, no, no,
Speaker 1: if you if you want to infect people, that's your truth.
Speaker 1: That's your truth. Because I can understand why people are
Speaker 1: happy that they no longer have to spend a six
Speaker 1: hour flight feeling like a broke gas bain. And I
Speaker 1: also get white people want to keep wearing masks. My
Speaker 1: hope is that we can get to a point where
Speaker 1: we're not villainizing each other over a tiny piece of cloth.
Speaker 1: What are we doing? Huh? It's not sustainable for people
Speaker 1: to have so much hate for each other like this.
Speaker 1: I hate you wearing the match, take it off, put it?
Speaker 1: I hate you, I hate you. Know. Don't empower to
Speaker 1: change what the airlines did. No one empower to do
Speaker 1: what the judge did. We We are not those people,
Speaker 1: you know. We should be saving our anger for the
Speaker 1: real enemy, All those people who think that a tuna
Speaker 1: sandwich is appropriate to eat on a plane. That's who
Speaker 1: we fight together, and that if I were going to
Speaker 1: save you from that Netflix. Today, the streaming giants saw
Speaker 1: their shares dropped lower than your grandma when they play
Speaker 1: September at a wedding. And when you're a company worth
Speaker 1: a hundred and fifty billion dollars with two hundred million subscribers,
Speaker 1: your crash makes everyone panic. Shares of streaming giant Netflix
Speaker 1: cratering after the company reported losing subscribers for the first
Speaker 1: time in more than a decade. That stock is losing
Speaker 1: about a quarter of its value in pre market trading.
Speaker 1: It was already down more than year today, Netflix saying
Speaker 1: more than two hundred thousand subscribers left the service in
Speaker 1: the first three months of the year. Now, observers are
Speaker 1: asking if viewers will have to binge watch their favorite
Speaker 1: Netflix show with ads in between. It's something CEO Read
Speaker 1: Hastings hasn't ruled out, allowing consumers who would like to
Speaker 1: have a lower price and are advertising tolerant um get
Speaker 1: they want makes a lot of ads. Damn, Netflix is
Speaker 1: in troube, which is so surprising because me and the
Speaker 1: forty three people I share my account, we're still watching
Speaker 1: it all the time. We watch all the time. I
Speaker 1: thought they were doing well and and you know, How
Speaker 1: you know Netflix is in trouble is because they even
Speaker 1: considering ads. Yeah, they're gonna have like a separate ad
Speaker 1: section of Netflix if you don't want to pay the
Speaker 1: full thing. And you realize for years Netflix has hated ads. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the idea of they've treated ads the same way French
Speaker 1: people treat everything. Yeah, I said, what are you breathing oxygen?
Speaker 1: What that loser? When do you live on earthly? You're
Speaker 1: not leaving now? Now? There are many reasons why Netflix
Speaker 1: subscriptions are down right, password sharing, inflation, reggae, Jean Page
Speaker 1: leaving bridgets in Yeah, no, I'm sorry. You want us
Speaker 1: to play fifteen bucks a month without that? Ask? I
Speaker 1: don't think so. I don't think so. Twelve nine at best,
Speaker 1: and now Netflix executives are being forced to consider multiple options.
Speaker 1: The only problem is knowing Netflix, they're just gonna scroll
Speaker 1: through those options for like forty five minutes before they
Speaker 1: give up and just put on Signfeld's you know if
Speaker 1: you ask me, If you ask me, there's no reason
Speaker 1: to panic right there, as people like to panic stock market.
Speaker 1: This st but remember this was always bound to happen.
Speaker 1: I remember the Netflix reason, the reason Netflix became Netflix
Speaker 1: in the first place is because it was the only
Speaker 1: thing out there. But now there are tons of streaming services.
Speaker 1: People want to know, is this the one that's worth
Speaker 1: my money? You know, doesn't have the widest variety of options,
Speaker 1: like what if someone's looking for the Champions League and
Speaker 1: Percard and three plus rug Rats and poor patrol for
Speaker 1: the kids. I mean, only Paramount Plus has that full
Speaker 1: range and quality, and most importantly, they keep me employed,
Speaker 1: So that seems like a pretty good deal to me. Ye,
Speaker 1: Look at the point is the point is the king
Speaker 1: of streaming is struggling right now, and I really hope
Speaker 1: that they make it through. I honestly do I like
Speaker 1: Netflix because without Netflix there's no Netflix and Chilly and
Speaker 1: that would be a disaster. We need the pretense of
Speaker 1: watching Netflix for six minutes before we start the sex. Yeah, Otherwise,
Speaker 1: where are you gonna text people? Do you want to
Speaker 1: come over for sex? How would that even work? All right,
Speaker 1: let's make it like a retired Dennis and moved to Florida.
Speaker 1: As you know, America's flaccid penis recently passed. But don't
Speaker 1: say gay law. You cover with your face like you've
Speaker 1: never seen You've seen that you're like, Oh, that's the
Speaker 1: first time you've looked at it before, and you said
Speaker 1: it was flacids. So they passed but don't say gay law,
Speaker 1: which puts limits on how schools can talk about sex
Speaker 1: and gender issues. And this has upsets a lot of people,
Speaker 1: including the folks at the Walt Disney Company, because so
Speaker 1: many of their creative staff are l G, B, t Q. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you're surprised, how can you be surprised? Like, what
Speaker 1: do you think? Why do you think Disney is always
Speaker 1: killing off straight parents? They hate Britos. Think about it.
Speaker 1: It's a conspiracy. So Disney denounced the bill, and then
Speaker 1: Florida Governor Rhonda Sanctus he denounced Disney, and now the
Speaker 1: feud is escalating even further. The feud between Florida Governor
Speaker 1: Rhonda Santis and Disney is growing. Yesterday, he asked the
Speaker 1: state legislators who repeal in nineteen sixty seven law allowing
Speaker 1: Disney to operate a private government for its properties in
Speaker 1: the state, including Disney World. Disney's special self governance, which
Speaker 1: covers forty square miles, allows the company to provide many
Speaker 1: of its own services like fire departments, road construction, and
Speaker 1: building and zoning. The move could leave Disney on the
Speaker 1: hook for millions of dollars a year in local taxes
Speaker 1: and with less autonomy over its property. This state is
Speaker 1: governed by the interests of the people of the state
Speaker 1: of Florida. It is not based on the demands of
Speaker 1: California corporate executives. Oh yes, the centers so sassy, look
Speaker 1: at you with a one hand huh to do like
Speaker 1: a little one hand Trump. We're not gonna be telling
Speaker 1: what to do, not at all. But yeah, the governor
Speaker 1: of Florida is using the power of the government. Listen
Speaker 1: to me. Now, he's using the power of the government
Speaker 1: to punish Disney because they don't agree with his politics. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can we can we just admit that most Republicans are
Speaker 1: not even Republicans anymore, right, because for like a hundred years,
Speaker 1: the whole thing has been that there's nothing worse than
Speaker 1: the government telling businesses what to do. And now they're
Speaker 1: going to use the law to punish corporations for their opinions,
Speaker 1: all because they think that Disney has gotten to woke. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and many has had a few abortions the first few years.
Speaker 1: Sorry was I Ah? She told me that in confidence.
Speaker 1: I'm Mickey didn't know. I'm sorry, guys, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: I thought corporations were people, or in Disney's case, rodents
Speaker 1: the size of people. And it's especially weird to hear
Speaker 1: these Republicans now saying corporations are getting too many special deals.
Speaker 1: We need to have stiffer regulations and make them pay
Speaker 1: more taxes, more taxes. That's what we're onto. Sections is
Speaker 1: saying now for a corporation. So basically, conservatives are so
Speaker 1: freaked out about wokeness that is turning them into liberals. Yea,
Speaker 1: it is, in fact, in fact, if you think about it,
Speaker 1: if liberals, if liberals are smart, they should start harnessing
Speaker 1: this and like hyping up oil companies. You know, yeah,
Speaker 1: AOC should just come out and be like EDGs on
Speaker 1: Mobile is such a good ally. They support Black Lives matter,
Speaker 1: They always use people's preferred pronouns. And then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, Repulicans were like want destroy as on, turn
Speaker 1: them down, cover that with sola panels. We gotta add
Speaker 1: this wrothness now. I will say this. I will say this,
Speaker 1: Rhonda Sanctus aside as, I do think it's a little
Speaker 1: weird that Disney gets all these special perks where it's
Speaker 1: basically its own country. Do you understand how crazy that is?
Speaker 1: Like I never knew that they were allowed to run
Speaker 1: their own government basically. You know, the only thing I
Speaker 1: did know is that they have their own jail. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I I didn't know. And this is this is true
Speaker 1: in Disney World. If you get in trouble, they have
Speaker 1: a little jail that they hold you in until they
Speaker 1: sort out the issue. Yeah, it's their own jurisdiction there
Speaker 1: and everything. I've actually been in there, but it was
Speaker 1: only because I jumped off the ride in the middle,
Speaker 1: like in the Africa part of It's a Small World.
Speaker 1: I thought I saw some of my friends. It was
Speaker 1: a misunderstanding. Could have happened to anyone the next store
Speaker 1: if you are like what, I'm gonna jumped and there's
Speaker 1: a whole thing. But still a man. It's pretty bossy
Speaker 1: of the actors to pick a fight with Mickey Mouse.
Speaker 1: Mickey is one of Florida's largest employers, and he never
Speaker 1: turns the other cheek. Oh boy, I'm sad describes to
Speaker 1: be conservative, but right now he's acted like a liberal bitch.
Speaker 1: He didn't raising taxes on a beloved Florida Corporation. Say
Speaker 1: hello to fifty dollar Turkey likes he's using big government
Speaker 1: to silence our small family business. I guess it's a
Speaker 1: socialist world. After all. You didn't hear this from me
Speaker 1: When Rohn de Santis went into the Haunted Mansion, this
Speaker 1: moser straight up shit himself, no joke. He got so
Speaker 1: scared from a children's ride he made a big old
Speaker 1: dukey right his pants. Rhn de Santis is have doness
Speaker 1: mother trying no and I have friends with a guy
Speaker 1: named dopey. Rhn de Santis rock for Florida, wrong for America,
Speaker 1: pooped his pants. I'm Mickey Mouse and I'll cut a bitch. Wow,
Speaker 1: Nicky does not clear round. As you know. As you know, Lucky,
Speaker 1: there are now more streaming services than hot takes about
Speaker 1: Elon Musk Right, there's everything. There's there's Netflix, there's Hulu,
Speaker 1: there's Paramount Plus, there's HBO Max as Paramount Plus and
Speaker 1: of course everyone's favorite Paramount Plus. And so last month,
Speaker 1: seeing the gap in the market, CNN launched its own
Speaker 1: streaming service called CNN Plus. And this was a big deal.
Speaker 1: In fact, they said it would be the future of
Speaker 1: news and if that's the case, the future is looking bleak.
Speaker 1: Quest than a month after launching, CNN Plus announced today
Speaker 1: the streaming services shutting down could launch March twenty nine.
Speaker 1: Warner Brothers Discovery Networks made that decision, though, saying it
Speaker 1: was about quality and quote customers will be best served
Speaker 1: with a simpler streaming choice. Last week's CNBC reported that
Speaker 1: the streaming service had less than ten thousand views a day.
Speaker 1: About three million dollars has been invested so far in
Speaker 1: CNN Plus. The plan, according to my sources, was to
Speaker 1: put a billion dollars into it over the course of
Speaker 1: four years, helping to hit profit after four years. Wow,
Speaker 1: did they say that less than ten thousand views a day?
Speaker 1: You could have just been on TikTok. That's wild. CNN
Speaker 1: Plus was such a disaster they'll have to send Anderson
Speaker 1: Cooper to cover it in a type black T shirt.
Speaker 1: It's a sorry sade. The craziest part of the story
Speaker 1: is that they said they spent three hundred million dollars
Speaker 1: on this thing. Three hundred million dollars. What did you
Speaker 1: do with that? Did you like clone wolf blitz or something? Look,
Speaker 1: because if you did that, I'd actually watch that show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've got breaking news, boy got breaking news. But you
Speaker 1: want to know what the worst part about the CNN
Speaker 1: Plus thing is is that I can't make jokes about
Speaker 1: all the shows on it because nobody knows is what
Speaker 1: they are. Yeah, it's not fair. It's not like you're
Speaker 1: gonna understand a joke about the CNN Plus show Jake
Speaker 1: Tapper's book Club because you don't even know if that's
Speaker 1: a real show. But it is or is it? Now?
Speaker 1: I'm kidding it's fake. It's fake. How you believe me
Speaker 1: it's actually real? You see, you don't love You don't
Speaker 1: know it's a real show. It's not a real show.
Speaker 1: All right. But let's move on to a different spectacular
Speaker 1: disaster Rudy Giuliani, former aide to Donald Trump and lawyer
Speaker 1: who makes all these clients look innocent in comparison. Since
Speaker 1: his role in the attempt to overthrow the election, Giuliani
Speaker 1: has largely disappeared from public view, like a snail retreating
Speaker 1: into its shell, but way more disgusting. And if there's
Speaker 1: one thing America loves, it's a big comeback. And last
Speaker 1: night Rudy got his a little bit of controversy on
Speaker 1: the mass Singer. Last night, personal lawyer to former President
Speaker 1: Don Old Trump and former New York City Mayor Rudy
Speaker 1: Giulianni popped out of a giant rooster suit while singing
Speaker 1: a rendition of Bad to the Bone. But as he
Speaker 1: revealed himself this is what happened, Judge Ken Jung stormed
Speaker 1: off the stage apparently didn't like it, saying I'm done. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Rudy Giuliani just got voted off the Mosque Singer, which
Speaker 1: means he's about to spend the next five years claiming
Speaker 1: that he actually won the Mosque Singer. And I guess
Speaker 1: history history was made last night because for the first
Speaker 1: time in the Mosque Singer's history, a contestant took off
Speaker 1: their mosque and everyone's like, no, no, put it back on,
Speaker 1: put it back on, put it on. We don't want
Speaker 1: to get put it back on. It's also weird how
Speaker 1: Rudy has the time to be on a game show,
Speaker 1: but he's too busy to testify in front of Congress,
Speaker 1: Like maybe they should have just tricked him, right, Congress
Speaker 1: should have just like made it seem like it was
Speaker 1: the most singer combined the old thing pop him in
Speaker 1: the giant cockstroom and then ship them in front of
Speaker 1: the general Fist committees to it. Yeah, that's the game
Speaker 1: show America needs. Bernie Sanders would be sitting there like oh,
Speaker 1: based on his other disregard for democracy. I'm gonna guess
Speaker 1: the rooster is Rudy Giuliani. Let's tack on the Bible.
Speaker 1: See sugar were bottle and dogs pay? I told you, Adam,
Speaker 1: I could see that the melting through the mask. I
Speaker 1: go say it before we go. Many four thousand homes
Speaker 1: have been destroyed and more than forty thousand people have
Speaker 1: been displaced by the floods and the mudslides happening in
Speaker 1: South Africa now. Gift of the Givers is a South
Speaker 1: African based disaster relief organization that are on the ground
Speaker 1: helping those people who are affected by the floods. So
Speaker 1: if you want to help them in the work that
Speaker 1: they're doing to act fast and to save lives, then
Speaker 1: please donate at the link below. Anything you can give
Speaker 1: will help. Watch The Daily Show weeknights eleven ten Central
Speaker 1: Arm Comedy Central in stream Fool episodes in any time,
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Speaker 1: podcast