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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that's competing with Starbucks with his

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Speaker 1: own line of holiday beverages. His first drink Chestnut Roast Blend,

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Speaker 1: a smoky latte that tastes like you're drinking an open fire.

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Speaker 2: Nuts.

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Speaker 3: You went with the fire part of that, Yeah, though,

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Speaker 3: that's the best part. Slurpe away with Laser Stories. The

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Speaker 3: segment order to read weird news stories around the.

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Speaker 1: Globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a

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Speaker 1: lasers where a decafe. Lulu's just don't. This first laser

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Speaker 1: story is out of British Columbia. Connor and Brian Thompson

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Speaker 1: bought a house recently and.

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Speaker 3: They were I don't know if Mickey Mouse wanted to congratulate.

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Speaker 2: It's like my brain wanted to say congratulations, but my

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Speaker 2: mouth will ended it at so I don't know what happened.

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Speaker 3: Sounds great.

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Speaker 1: They were taking down some dry wall when they made

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Speaker 1: an odd discovery. At one point the insulation stopped and

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Speaker 1: there was a random star animal.

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Speaker 3: That's cute in the wall in the wall.

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Speaker 2: I love when people find old stuff, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they pulled more dry wall and then more stuffed animals,

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Speaker 1: and it kept going and going and going.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute.

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Speaker 1: In the end, they pulled one hundred and ten plushies

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Speaker 1: out of the wall. Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: They don't know. That feels kind of serial killer vibes.

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Speaker 3: I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: They put up a video on TikTok about it, and

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Speaker 1: that went viral. One commenter was crying because she saw

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Speaker 1: a duck that was very similar to the one that

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Speaker 1: she had when she was a kid, and she hadn't

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Speaker 1: been able to find it, so Connor and Brian mailed

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Speaker 1: it to her. Oh, the couple doesn't know who had

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Speaker 1: the home before them, so it's unclear what the purpose

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Speaker 1: of the stuffed animals was.

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Speaker 2: Were they being used as insulation.

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Speaker 1: That's possible that somebody just didn't need them anymore and decided, yeah,

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Speaker 1: insulation was a good way to recycle them.

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Speaker 3: That's not a bad idea. It's not a good idea, but.

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Speaker 2: It's not a bad it's weird thing to do, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think there's Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Others suggest the animals were haunted and were boarded up

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Speaker 1: inside the house for a reason, and now the demons

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Speaker 1: have officially been unleashed on the world. Oh no, is.

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Speaker 2: It bad that? My thought is it's stuffed animals from

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Speaker 2: missing children and they never wanted anyone to find them specific.

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Speaker 3: But could be right. How many missing children are you?

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Speaker 2: I don't know. I've listened to some dark podcasts.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's go to your next laser story.

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Speaker 1: Out of Survey City survey of dead children.

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Speaker 3: I'm in the mood, clearly, I'm with you, though, what

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Speaker 3: do we got? This is happier? Okay, actually it's not.

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Speaker 1: Because what would be worse to find under your bed?

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Speaker 1: A dead person or someone alive?

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Speaker 3: What's happening the kids under Brooks bed?

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Speaker 2: I'm voting a live person way worse to find under

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Speaker 2: your bed.

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Speaker 1: The poll was almost deadline, with forty nine percent saying

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Speaker 1: a person who's alive would be worse, fifty one percent

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Speaker 1: saying a person who's dead.

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Speaker 2: I am tired.

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Speaker 3: Well, not you, FLOSSI, you're still hanging on.

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Speaker 2: We didn't ask if we knew this person, because if

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Speaker 2: we know that, I want them alive.

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Speaker 1: The assumption is the a living person you don't know.

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Speaker 1: It's not your brother waiting to play a prank on

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Speaker 1: you all.

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Speaker 3: It's like, oh my god, my husband's home early.

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Speaker 1: Get under the Maybe no I don't.

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Speaker 3: That's a good one.

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Speaker 1: One commenter pointed out that a dead person may be

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Speaker 1: more gross than scary until you consider that in a

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Speaker 1: live person had to put the dead person there and

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Speaker 1: they may still be hanging around.

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Speaker 2: Or you're just a forgetful person and you forgot where

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Speaker 2: you put the body.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you know that's where I kept it. I forgot.

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Speaker 3: I'm a murder me.

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Speaker 1: I am curious what the listeners would pick, So text

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Speaker 1: in seven eighty five nine two, what would you choose?

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Speaker 1: Tell us your address and our technical director, Ashton can

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Speaker 1: make that dream come true, a life one.

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Speaker 2: I want to keep Ashian alive.

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Speaker 1: Ashton's going to go find somebody to put on your bill.

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Speaker 1: He is committed to this job.

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Speaker 3: Trust me, that sounds like a very heavy endeavor.

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Speaker 1: Alright, shut up, you're going to do it, Ashton. Let's

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Speaker 1: go to your next laser story out of the silver screen.

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Speaker 1: We've got some fun news the other day. A brand

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Speaker 1: new Star Wars trilogy is now in the works.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: People online were just going nuts about it, but I'm

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Speaker 1: not sure that they know this one will not be

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Speaker 1: a continuation of the Skywalker saga.

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Speaker 2: I think that's good, Like you don't want to keep

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Speaker 2: going with the same story, you know, and my generation.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the way the graphics are the Wars.

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Speaker 1: The Skywalker saga was the one that was told in

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Speaker 1: episodes one through nine. They say they will not continue

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Speaker 1: that one. It is officially over.

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Speaker 3: Story did there's been so?

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Speaker 2: I mean like the Mandalorian storyline.

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Speaker 1: So you know this trilogy will focus on a new

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Speaker 1: story and new characters, but no word when it takes

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Speaker 1: place or if any pre existing characters will appear. What

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Speaker 1: if it's all about three and it's just beeps?

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Speaker 3: Liked that idea? There we go.

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Speaker 1: Several other Star Wars movies are in development right now,

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Speaker 1: and if it means anything to you, this new trilogy

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Speaker 1: is being developed by Simon Kinberg. I was expecting a

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Speaker 1: bigger reaction from the movie.

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Speaker 3: He's one of the creative minds behind the X Men movies.

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Speaker 3: The kin cagey.

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Speaker 1: Stumping for Simon today, Let's let's go to your next

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Speaker 1: Lazer story out of Spinster Springs Live. According to new research,

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Speaker 1: Beyonce was wrong. All the single ladies.

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Speaker 3: You dare say that sentence?

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Speaker 1: Turns out all the single ladies do not want to

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Speaker 1: ring on it, and it's simply because they are happy

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Speaker 1: being single. That makes sense, guys, on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: not so.

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Speaker 3: Much, and you're like shut up.

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Speaker 1: The University of Toronto psychologists analyze data from nearly six

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Speaker 1: thousand single adults from ten different studies, and the results

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Speaker 1: are in Women without partners are happier than their male

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Speaker 1: counterparts in literally every single aspect of life.

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Speaker 3: They were happier being on their own.

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Speaker 1: They're less likely to want a significant other, They're more

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Speaker 1: sexually satisfied, and more content overall. The psychologists think this

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Speaker 1: is happening for a number of reasons, but one of

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Speaker 1: the most important is that women are more likely to

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Speaker 1: have supportive, platonic relationships in their social circle that they

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Speaker 1: can fall back on.

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Speaker 3: Yes, god it, we don't talk about our feelings as much,

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Speaker 3: I know. We just don't have friends that are like

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Speaker 3: there for us in the.

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Speaker 2: Same honestly, Like I think of my BFFs as my soulmates,

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Speaker 2: like you know, like they're that important to me.

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Speaker 1: If I can get a hold of my soulmate, if

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Speaker 1: you call me back, Steven, probably.

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Speaker 3: His body's under Brooks bed right.

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Speaker 1: The study also found that women just enjoy their alone

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Speaker 1: time more than men do, and they own more homes

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Speaker 1: than single guys. It cost seven thousand dollars more a

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Speaker 1: year to live on your own, according to Zillo, but

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Speaker 1: an overwhelming majority of women said that was an absolutely

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Speaker 1: acceptable price to pay to not be bothered by living

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Speaker 1: with an icky gross dude.

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Speaker 3: We go, Yeah, you just.

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Speaker 2: Need to learn to pull your old weight, do the dishes.

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Speaker 3: Okay, don't wait, shame me.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we're just we're just trying to have a

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Speaker 1: simple conversation.

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Speaker 3: Women are happy right now. That's great.

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Speaker 1: I know this guy loves living alone so he can

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Speaker 1: do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Like right now,

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Speaker 1: he's helicoptering in front of a mirror and there's no

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Speaker 1: lady that can stop it.

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Speaker 2: Brass, good for you, find your own happy.

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Speaker 3: That sound.

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Speaker 1: Lazy Thrower's has gone to an end for the day.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do it again, same time on Wednesday, Brooke

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Speaker 1: and Jeffrey in the morning