1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,360 Speaker 1: It takes thirty days to form a habit, in ninety 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: days to make it stick. Lucky for you, Audible and 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:09,959 Speaker 1: I have teamed up to bring you the Sound Reset Challenge, 4 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,559 Speaker 1: a four week series designed to help you unlock your 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:16,840 Speaker 1: twenty twenty six goals, projects and resolutions, all brought to 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:21,320 Speaker 1: you by Audible. Audible's wellbeing collection has everything to inspire 7 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,759 Speaker 1: and support you in every step of your well being journey. 8 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:27,400 Speaker 1: I'm Amy Brown, co host on The Bobby Bone Show, 9 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 1: and today I'm joined by Dan Harris, who is an 10 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: Emmy Award winning journalist, former ABC News anchor, and now 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: a practicing teacher of meditation and mindfulness. Nearly twelve years ago, 12 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,879 Speaker 1: in twenty fourteen, Dan released his book Ten Percent Happier, 13 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:47,639 Speaker 1: an autobiographical tale of the spiritual, scientific, and skeptical odyssey 14 00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:50,640 Speaker 1: that led him through many portals of the self help 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: world to his own mindfulness practice. The book was a 16 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 1: bestseller and did a lot to bring mindfulness to the mainstream. Today, 17 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: Dan is here to share their pertinent insights from his journey, 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: and then we're going to challenge you, the listeners, to 19 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: a four week course for getting out of your own 20 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,839 Speaker 1: way and on your way to reaching your goals. Listen 21 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:16,400 Speaker 1: as we challenge you to turn your resolutions into reality. 22 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,480 Speaker 1: All right, So Dan, I listened to ten percent Happier 23 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: on Audible, and I got to say one of my 24 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 1: favorite little perks of that was the meditations at the end. 25 00:01:24,319 --> 00:01:26,280 Speaker 1: And I did the walking meditation yesterday. 26 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,039 Speaker 2: Great good on you, how to go? 27 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,280 Speaker 3: It went really well. 28 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: I hadn't done a walking meditation in several months, but 29 00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, this is here at the end, 30 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: I might as well do it. And I got to say, 31 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: walking meditations are my favorite kind. But there is something 32 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,120 Speaker 1: you talk about in the book that was really interesting 33 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: to me with the brain scans. It was maybe an 34 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: update that you did towards the end, so I don't 35 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: know if it was in the original book, but I thought, shoot, 36 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: now I want a scan of my brain to see 37 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: if I'm even meditating correctly. 38 00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 2: I would strongly recommend against that because one of the well, 39 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 2: first of all, I did it, and it was a disaster, 40 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:12,640 Speaker 2: and I walked away totally confused about whether I was 41 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 2: meditating correctly. And then I actually had dinner that night 42 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 2: with my longtime meditation teacher and he told me that 43 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 2: he did it too, and he was confused, and so 44 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 2: I don't recommend it. My worry for all meditators, including myself, 45 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 2: is that you get hung up on this question of 46 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 2: my doing it right. And here's the simple answer. If 47 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 2: you find yourself focused for a few nanoseconds at a 48 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,600 Speaker 2: time on whatever you're trying to focus on, like your 49 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,160 Speaker 2: breath or the sensations of your body as you're walking, 50 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,400 Speaker 2: and then you get distracted a million times and then 51 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:48,320 Speaker 2: start over a million times, then you're doing it correctly. 52 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: Well that's the encouragement I need to hear. Dan, So 53 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,240 Speaker 1: thank you, and I know it's been years for you now. 54 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: But for those who don't know what inspired your mindfulness 55 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: journey and led you to writing this. 56 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 2: Book Cocaine, I guess that would be the one word answer, 57 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: But the slightly longer answer is that I used to be, 58 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 2: in a former life, a globe trotting war correspondent for 59 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 2: ABC News. In the years after nine to eleven, I 60 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:22,760 Speaker 2: spent a lot of time in Pakistan, Afghanistan, Israel, the 61 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,880 Speaker 2: West Bank, Gaza, and then a ton of time in Iraq, 62 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 2: probably a year total in a rock over the course 63 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 2: of six or seven trips and I came home in 64 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 2: the middle of this period of time and I got depressed, 65 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,279 Speaker 2: although I didn't know I was depressed, and then I 66 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 2: did this incredibly stupid thing of self medicating with recreational drugs, 67 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 2: including cocaine, and that led to a panic attack on 68 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 2: national television on Good Morning America back in two thousand 69 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 2: and four. Actually had two panic attacks, one in two 70 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,400 Speaker 2: thousand and four, one two thousand and five. The better 71 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 2: one to watch is the one from two thousand and four, 72 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 2: And if you google panic attack on television, mine is 73 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 2: the number one result, which makes my mother so proud. 74 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 2: And after I had that panic attack, I realized I 75 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: needed to sort my stuff out, and so I started 76 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 2: seeing a psychiatrist and that ultimately led me to meditation. 77 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 2: So that's the reef answer. 78 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, your short answer being the cocaine. That's something that 79 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: I found to be so interesting about this book is 80 00:04:22,279 --> 00:04:24,919 Speaker 1: how vulnerable you got, especially the type of work that 81 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: you do. I know that's something that you wrestled with, like, 82 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 1: am I going to share this very vulnerable detail about 83 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: my life? 84 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 3: But for me, I found it well. 85 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,359 Speaker 1: First of all, I was really shocked because I've watched 86 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,840 Speaker 1: you on TV for years, and I thought, oh, no, way, 87 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: he was, you know, doing drugs like that heart and ecstasy. 88 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,840 Speaker 1: Like I just couldn't separate you out on the town 89 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,719 Speaker 1: with you being the news guy. My brain struggled with 90 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:54,040 Speaker 1: that a little bit. And then I also was thankful 91 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: because it humanized you, like and it also helped me 92 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: relate to you more. Not that I I have that 93 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 1: exact you know, the exact story that you have by 94 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,640 Speaker 1: any means, but I just was like, oh, wow, he's 95 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,359 Speaker 1: just not this guy on the news. He has a 96 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 1: real story, and it made me just find everything you 97 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 1: were saying just a little bit more believable. I guess 98 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 1: that's how I would summarize it, because sometimes you read 99 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: like self help stuff and you're like, okay, yeah, right, 100 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 1: Like I don't really know that I could apply. 101 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,039 Speaker 3: This to my life. 102 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: And I was like, no, if he did this and 103 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,000 Speaker 1: it completely changed his life, and you it's something that 104 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: you had to do. And now I want to circle 105 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,359 Speaker 1: back to the title of the book, ten percent happier. 106 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: Is that a phrase you still use to this day 107 00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 1: because you came up with that title a long time ago. 108 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 2: I do use it. Look, I I'll just tell the 109 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 2: story for the people listening who may not be familiar 110 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 2: with any of this. That I got interested in meditation 111 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 2: at a time when it wasn't really socially acceptable to 112 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 2: talk about it, and so this is probably like two 113 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 2: thousand and eight, two thousand and nine, twenty ten. And 114 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:00,040 Speaker 2: occasionally people at work would say, you know what, what 115 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,599 Speaker 2: has gotten into you? Or what's the matter with you? 116 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:07,159 Speaker 2: You used to be semi cool. And I remember a 117 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 2: conversation where I was talking to my friend Chris and 118 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 2: she was asking this question, and I said, you know, 119 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 2: I do it because it makes me ten percent happier, 120 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 2: and I could see the look on her face transform 121 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 2: from scorn to mild interest, and I thought, Okay, well, 122 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 2: this is my shtick. This is this is how I'm 123 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 2: going to talk about it. Because there's so much overpromising 124 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:29,559 Speaker 2: in the self help world that I think is quite 125 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,720 Speaker 2: reckless and greety, frankly, and so I wanted to have 126 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 2: a way to talk about it that made sense. And 127 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,760 Speaker 2: I'll be honest, you know, I've been meditating for I 128 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 2: don't know, sixteen seventeen years, and I'm way more than 129 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,280 Speaker 2: ten percent happier. So now my little tweak is that 130 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,720 Speaker 2: it's like a good investment. You know, if you're consistently 131 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 2: investing in the stock market, you'll get ten percent annual 132 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 2: returns probably, but they will compound over time if you 133 00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:00,359 Speaker 2: keep investing. And so my level of happiness now. I 134 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 2: continue to make mistakes, and you know, life happens to me, 135 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 2: Illness happens. You know, people in my life pass away. 136 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 2: All of the things that happened to the rest of 137 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 2: us happened to me. But my ability to handle it 138 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:15,760 Speaker 2: with some sophistication just continues to get better. 139 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,080 Speaker 1: I love that the compounding How difficult was it for 140 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: you to decide to write this and reveal things about 141 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: your own journey that you did. I know in the 142 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: book you mentioned your mom called you the night before 143 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: it was going to release or something, and she was like, 144 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 1: don't do it, don't do it, don't put it out there, 145 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: and you're like, well, I have books in the warehouse, 146 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: so it's happening. 147 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,280 Speaker 2: It was really hard. I mean, it feels like another 148 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:43,040 Speaker 2: life because the book came out in twenty fourteen, so nearly, 149 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,720 Speaker 2: you know, twelve years ago. But yes, I was super nervous. 150 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 2: And my mom's email to me shortly before the book 151 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 2: came out in which she begged me not to publish 152 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 2: the book was not helpful. Although I'm not trying to 153 00:07:56,240 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 2: criticize my mom, she was just being a protective mother. Honestly, 154 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,120 Speaker 2: when you ask that question, I start thinking about the 155 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 2: fact that one year from now, actually less than one 156 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 2: year from now, at the beginning of January next year, 157 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,960 Speaker 2: I have a sequel coming out that is frankly more embarrassing, 158 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 2: and I'm in the middle of the rewrites for it 159 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 2: today as a matter of fact, and I'm having very 160 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 2: similar feelings of like, am I really going to do this? 161 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 2: And what are people going to think? And ultimately what 162 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,920 Speaker 2: I come back to always is I guess this is 163 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 2: just how I teach, and I think my mo or 164 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 2: my way of being a public figure now is to 165 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 2: admit the stuff that most people won't admit but is 166 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 2: actually true for them anyway. And so one of the 167 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 2: ways I describe this is that some people teach from 168 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,280 Speaker 2: the mountaintop and I teach from the fetal position. 169 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,760 Speaker 1: Well, I think you also, it's got to be a 170 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: little comforting to have the data from the first book 171 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: because you were nervous. Similarly, I understand those nerves coming 172 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: back again. But then you've got data of like, oh, 173 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 1: I've done this before, I've been here, and what the 174 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: data is telling me is this is what people appreciate 175 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,560 Speaker 1: and respect from me, and this should do well too. 176 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 2: That's true to a certain extent, and I definitely I know, 177 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:20,840 Speaker 2: and there's a research to show that if you share, 178 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 2: if you self disclose, if you're vulnerable, to use the 179 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,800 Speaker 2: term of art, people tend to like you. But there 180 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 2: is there's fear, nonetheless for all of us, if we're 181 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 2: even for somebody who's done it very publicly as I have, 182 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 2: And I guess part of me is scared that people 183 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,800 Speaker 2: will say, well, wait a minute, how can you continue 184 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,640 Speaker 2: to make mistakes. You're supposed to be some sort of 185 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,400 Speaker 2: meditation guy. And I know my answer to that, which 186 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 2: is that you know, there is no such thing as perfection. 187 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,719 Speaker 2: I'm mister ten percent, and I'm going to continue to 188 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,079 Speaker 2: make mistakes, and I'm going to continue to self disclose 189 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 2: because I think it's helpful for other people, because it 190 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:05,199 Speaker 2: normalizes all of our weird stuff. But it is it's 191 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 2: you know, there's no situation in which it's the fear 192 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 2: will go away. 193 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,800 Speaker 1: I think, well, let's talk about the monkey mind. How 194 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,280 Speaker 1: do you think that shows up in our world today? 195 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,079 Speaker 2: Yeah, so the monkey mind is a term that is 196 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 2: kind of taken from the Buddha, who was a dude 197 00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 2: who lived twenty six hundred years ago on the in 198 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 2: India and Nepal, and he was really a You can 199 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 2: think of him as just an amazing genius level meditation teacher. 200 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 2: That's just one way to think of him. And he 201 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 2: had this he compared our minds to monkeys in that 202 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 2: we're just jumping all over the place. We were just 203 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 2: constantly thinking about the past or the future. We're instead 204 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,400 Speaker 2: of focusing on what's happening right now. We're judging people, 205 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 2: we're judging ourselves. We're wanting stuff, we're not wanting stuff. 206 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,160 Speaker 2: And when you're unaware of this NonStop conversation which you 207 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,640 Speaker 2: are having with yourself, when you're unaware of it, it 208 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:06,040 Speaker 2: owns you. Every little thought that flits through your mind 209 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 2: is like and this is the way my meditation teacher 210 00:11:09,559 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 2: describes it, Every little thought becomes a tiny dictator. You 211 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 2: just act it out. You have a thought of like, oh, 212 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,600 Speaker 2: maybe I should say something right now that will ruin 213 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 2: the next forty eight hours of my marriage, and then 214 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:23,319 Speaker 2: you just do it. And what meditation does is help 215 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 2: you not be so owned by this stream of consciousness 216 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,040 Speaker 2: that's happening all the time, and that were and that 217 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 2: if we broadcast allowed, we'd be locked up. But most 218 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 2: of us are only kind of vaguely aware of the 219 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 2: thinking process, and if we can become a little bit 220 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:44,240 Speaker 2: more aware, aka a little bit more mindful, then we 221 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 2: have more choice and freedom. 222 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 3: Seeing of being locked up. 223 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,160 Speaker 1: I was just taken back to a part in the 224 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 1: book where you, as a journalist, you did solitary confinement 225 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 1: for well, was it forty eight hours? First of all, 226 00:11:57,240 --> 00:12:00,480 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that a prison agreed to block you 227 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,320 Speaker 1: up that way, So just side note there. It's like 228 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,079 Speaker 1: you were dedicated to that story. 229 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 2: You know. I find that people are generally willing to 230 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:10,600 Speaker 2: lock up somebody from the mainstream media. You know, we're 231 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,560 Speaker 2: pretty unpopular. So that part wasn't the hard part. The 232 00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:17,839 Speaker 2: hard bar was actually doing it, And honestly, it really 233 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,600 Speaker 2: did land me on the conclusion that solitary confinement, while 234 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,440 Speaker 2: it may be necessary in some extreme cases, is kind 235 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 2: of torture. We are social animals, you know, if you 236 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 2: think about the history of humans. 237 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: We never. 238 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 2: We never had claws or talons or wings or massive size. 239 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 2: In fact, in our early days as a species, we 240 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 2: were prey animals. We only got to the top of 241 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:52,559 Speaker 2: the food chain because of our ability to cooperate, communicate, collaborate, care, 242 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:59,280 Speaker 2: and everything about modern life now militates against that. Everything 243 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 2: about modern life, if it is hyper individualistic, isolated in 244 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 2: our own tech bubbles. We're being pitted against one another 245 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,480 Speaker 2: on social media because the versions of the humans that 246 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,079 Speaker 2: we disagree with, the version we see of them is 247 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 2: like a cartoon version often, So there's no I don't 248 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:26,080 Speaker 2: think it's a coincidence that in this isolated, individualistic, lonely 249 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 2: era that we're seeing unprecedented me never before seen levels 250 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:36,560 Speaker 2: of anxiety, depression, suicide, addiction, and loneliness. And so actually 251 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 2: that is kind of what I'm writing about in my 252 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:41,839 Speaker 2: next book, for lack of a less cheesy term, it's 253 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 2: about love. You know, if you were to forget whether 254 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 2: you want to meditate or not, and I'm totally fine, 255 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 2: people should make their own minds up. I think you 256 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,439 Speaker 2: can live a very happy life if you don't meditate, 257 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 2: but you cannot live a happy life if you don't 258 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 2: have high quality relationships in your life. And you know, 259 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,320 Speaker 2: one of the other things that's happening these days is 260 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,280 Speaker 2: that people are really into optimization. We're trying to live forever. 261 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,360 Speaker 2: We're buying books on longevity and then tracking our sleep 262 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,439 Speaker 2: and counting our steps and all that stuff. And that's 263 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 2: fine as far as it goes. But honestly, what the 264 00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:17,760 Speaker 2: science shows is that if you care about living along, happy, 265 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 2: and by the way, professionally successful life, the thing to 266 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:25,480 Speaker 2: optimize for is the quality of your relationships. And so actually, 267 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 2: if I could leave you or anybody with anything today, 268 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 2: it's it's that. 269 00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:34,440 Speaker 1: Well with the which thank you for that. Relationships are 270 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:39,640 Speaker 1: so important in your meditation journey. Once you started that, 271 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:44,000 Speaker 1: how did it impact your your work life and your 272 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:44,800 Speaker 1: personal life? 273 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 3: What are some changes? You saw? 274 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 2: Huge changes in my personal life. It just made me 275 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 2: more patient. I made that joke before about Hussein. Has 276 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 2: you have this thought of like, let me just say 277 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,960 Speaker 2: something because I want to discharge this anger I'm feeling 278 00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,760 Speaker 2: in my body, So let me just say something and 279 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 2: then and then you regret it and you hurt somebody's feelings. 280 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 2: And so I still do that, but I'm much much better. 281 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:14,320 Speaker 2: I notice when I'm feeling angry and I let it 282 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 2: come and go, and I'm much better at just waiting 283 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:22,920 Speaker 2: to act until the anger has passed. I'm not saying 284 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 2: anger never has any uses. It does, of course, but 285 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,680 Speaker 2: rarely have I made a good decision in a state 286 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:34,600 Speaker 2: of anger. And so one way to talk about this 287 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:38,280 Speaker 2: is you learn how to respond wisely to things in 288 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 2: your life instead of reacting blindly. And I used to 289 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 2: be very reactive and I had quite a temper, and 290 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 2: it showed up at work, and it showed up in 291 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 2: my marriage. And again I'm not saying I'm perfect, but 292 00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 2: I do much less of that, and it's had a 293 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,120 Speaker 2: huge effect, honestly. 294 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: That's another thing I appreciated in the book with talking 295 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: about kind of like year before and after your behavior, 296 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,440 Speaker 1: how you would fire off females, like if you weren't 297 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,160 Speaker 1: chosen for something. And that's something that we as viewers 298 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: we don't really think about when we're watching all the news, 299 00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:14,200 Speaker 1: is that like, oh, you know, they were chosen for 300 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: this story or this segment, and there's you know, ten 301 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 1: other people that were maybe fighting for that segment or 302 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 1: being sent off to this particular location to cover this 303 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 1: particular event, and that ever since I listened to the book, 304 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: now I've watched different things. I'm like, hmm, I wonder 305 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: who really wanted this segment of this spot, but that 306 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: I guess we'll call you your premeditation days. Yeah, you 307 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: admitted to firing off eemails and kind of making a scene, 308 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,120 Speaker 1: probably behaved in a way that you. 309 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:45,880 Speaker 3: Weren't really proud of. 310 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: And what I thought was cool though and probably could 311 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:51,480 Speaker 1: offer a lot of people some hope is that there's 312 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 1: room for change and that people can accept the change. 313 00:16:55,440 --> 00:17:00,200 Speaker 1: Because suddenly you said you had coworkers. You know, i'm 314 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: pair phrase here, but how I recall it, like just 315 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 1: thinking that you're this kind person and that's not necessarily 316 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,680 Speaker 1: how they saw your behavior before, but they were noticing 317 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:12,439 Speaker 1: it after meetings and how you would carry yourself. And 318 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's awesome because if people know that, Okay, 319 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: just because I've shown up this way for the last 320 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: decade doesn't mean I have to continue. Like I can 321 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 1: change and people will accept me for it. 322 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 2: I want to revise or maybe refine what I said 323 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,120 Speaker 2: before about the one thing I would leave you with. 324 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,440 Speaker 2: I'm going to make it too, and maybe this is 325 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:32,919 Speaker 2: what I'm about to say is even more important because 326 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,480 Speaker 2: you and I'm just picking up on what you said. 327 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,520 Speaker 2: We can change. 328 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,080 Speaker 1: And I. 329 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 2: Think many of us might not believe that in our bodies, 330 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,679 Speaker 2: in our bones. We might think that we are x 331 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:54,440 Speaker 2: amount patient or x amount of loving or friendly or 332 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 2: calm or whatever like, and that's just our unalterable factory setting. 333 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 2: And that's just not true. And I'm not You don't 334 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 2: have to take my word for it. What the science 335 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 2: is showing us is that the brain and the mind 336 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:14,840 Speaker 2: are trainable. You can, through meditation and many other practices, 337 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:20,480 Speaker 2: literally change your brain. Meditation, for example, rewires the part 338 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 2: of the brain associated with focus. Who are also distracted 339 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:28,919 Speaker 2: these days, you can you can remedy that stress. The 340 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 2: part of the brain associated with stress has been shown 341 00:18:31,119 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 2: to literally shrink among meditators. So change is possible happiness, 342 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,879 Speaker 2: which is what all of us want. It's it's a skill, 343 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,879 Speaker 2: I mean, And that's just such a liberating idea. And 344 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 2: you know, in some ways, like my old job as 345 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 2: an anchorman and reporter was to travel around the world 346 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,159 Speaker 2: covering bad news, and now my job is to travel 347 00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:59,399 Speaker 2: around the world and deliver good news, which which is 348 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:03,200 Speaker 2: that you can change. It's perfection is not on offer, 349 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:09,360 Speaker 2: but messy marginal change is absolutely available to everyone. 350 00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think the more that we can remind ourselves that, yeah, 351 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 1: the brain is multiple neuroplasticity. I think when you have 352 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 1: that information and you know that it's actually true, then 353 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:22,680 Speaker 1: there's this hope because some people are just so well, 354 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,119 Speaker 1: this is how I'm wired, or this is how I 355 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 1: was raised, or this is what my parents did, and 356 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 1: that's the story they can tell themselves, but the facts 357 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 1: are telling us something different. So thank you for that 358 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,080 Speaker 1: reminder as well. So you got hopefully you throw some 359 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 1: more takeaways, important takeaways in because both of those that 360 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: you've shared are very, very, very important. Let's talk about 361 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: boredom because you do mention that the mindfulness changed your 362 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 1: relationship with boredom, and I think we could all benefit 363 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: from that. So share more about your journey with boredom 364 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,440 Speaker 1: and mindfulness. 365 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,719 Speaker 2: I want to make a case for boredom. Much of 366 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 2: our lives these days revolve, whether we know it or not, 367 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 2: around fending it off. I have a visceral memory, can't 368 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,640 Speaker 2: I just remember exactly where I was when I got 369 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:17,359 Speaker 2: my first iPhone in I think two thousand and seven. 370 00:20:18,119 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 3: That was the year. 371 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,760 Speaker 2: But yeah, okay, that was the year. 372 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,040 Speaker 1: We had a trivia game the other day and it 373 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 1: was what year did the iPhone come out? And I said, 374 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,400 Speaker 1: I think it was two thousand and six or two 375 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,720 Speaker 1: thousand and eight, I'm not sure, and then I ended 376 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,160 Speaker 1: up going with two thousand and eight, and then sure 377 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,640 Speaker 1: enough it was the year in between those two. 378 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 2: So thank you for that. Yeah, so yeah, I remember 379 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 2: in two thousand and seven. I'm dating myself now because 380 00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 2: I was a grown ass man in two thousand and 381 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 2: seven already I got an iPhone, and I remember having 382 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,520 Speaker 2: the thought, I will never be bored again. That's not good. 383 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 2: The interesting and important things happen when we're bored. New 384 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:03,560 Speaker 2: ideas can be made. We are I think, and this 385 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:08,199 Speaker 2: is also very important. We're allowing ourselves to sit with 386 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:14,119 Speaker 2: a certain amount of discomfort because boredom is uncomfortable. What 387 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:18,159 Speaker 2: has happened, And I'm not anti technology, but it, you know, 388 00:21:18,840 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 2: the iPhone or smartphones generally, and then on top of that, 389 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 2: five or ten years later, the proliferation of social media 390 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 2: apps that live on the phone. They have had some 391 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 2: negative effects, and one of them is that our lives 392 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 2: are so filled and cluttered, filled with and cluttered by stimulation, 393 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:47,919 Speaker 2: that we are unable or unwilling in many cases to 394 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:53,439 Speaker 2: just be. In fact, there have been some studies that 395 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,680 Speaker 2: have asked people what would you rather do. They put 396 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:58,480 Speaker 2: people in a room and say you can sit here 397 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,480 Speaker 2: and just be alone with your thoughts, or you can 398 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 2: administer self administer electric shocks. The vast majority, especially of men, 399 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,840 Speaker 2: will take the shocks because they don't want to sit 400 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 2: and just be there. You know, they don't want to 401 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 2: do the thing that we as a species did for 402 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,280 Speaker 2: tens of thousands of years before two thousand and seven. 403 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 2: And so what I want to make the case for 404 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,679 Speaker 2: is just to run the experiment in your life. The 405 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 2: next time you notice your zombie arm reaching for your 406 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 2: phone because you're standing online. And by the way, I 407 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,240 Speaker 2: no judgment here, I do this stuff too. But the 408 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,639 Speaker 2: next time you notice, like, okay, I'm standing online, or 409 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,359 Speaker 2: I'm sitting on a plane waiting for the door to 410 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 2: open so we can deplane, or all those little in 411 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 2: between moments during your day when you just reflexively reach 412 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 2: for the phone, try not to check out like what 413 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 2: it's like if you don't do it, and can you 414 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,680 Speaker 2: sit with that? You know, there's this trend of again 415 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 2: mostly men online raw dogging reality where you'll see them 416 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,200 Speaker 2: on eighteen hour flights and they don't check any their 417 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 2: phone at all, although they are using their phone to 418 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 2: film themselves while they do it. And so, I mean, 419 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 2: I think it's kind of ridiculous, but also pointing to 420 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 2: something important, like can you just be in your life? 421 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 2: This one incredibly precious life we got that's we don't 422 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 2: know how long it's going to last, but we know 423 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:27,119 Speaker 2: it's going to end. Can you just be here for it? 424 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 2: And that will help you to be there for all 425 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,280 Speaker 2: the beautiful moments during which many of us are actually 426 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 2: like rushing to the next thing or thinking about what 427 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,199 Speaker 2: kind of notifications we might have on our phone, instead 428 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:47,200 Speaker 2: of actually being awake and alive for this amazing, mysterious, painful, 429 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:52,359 Speaker 2: confusing thing called life. And so I actually it's just 430 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:57,160 Speaker 2: as being okay with boredom is like a rich, non 431 00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:58,880 Speaker 2: trivial endeavor. 432 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think I've seen some were all dogging 433 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,800 Speaker 1: stuff online too, and just for people, like if you're 434 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,520 Speaker 1: seeing people on flights, yeah, doing it for multiple hours 435 00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 1: at a time, Like if you want to try it 436 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,119 Speaker 1: out at home. I've also seen people just doing like, 437 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 1: you know, setting a timer for ten minutes and then 438 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:15,680 Speaker 1: sitting up against the wall with nothing else around them, 439 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 1: and there they just rawll dog for ten minutes. And 440 00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:22,280 Speaker 1: you can start with small chunks. And I would say 441 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 1: you would probably say the same thing about meditation too, 442 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,480 Speaker 1: you know, you could start with smaller and then grow 443 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,240 Speaker 1: from there, because I think when I first started meditating 444 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,359 Speaker 1: a few years ago, I did some meditation challenge with 445 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,760 Speaker 1: my sister for like the first thirty day, like a 446 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 1: thirty day challenge, like at the beginning of the year, 447 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: and I had. 448 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:44,439 Speaker 3: No clue, but I felt I felt like if. 449 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:46,480 Speaker 1: I wasn't sitting down and doing it for thirty minutes, 450 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 1: then I wasn't there was no point, Or if my 451 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 1: brain drifted off to something else, there was no point 452 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,119 Speaker 1: because I had failed. But thankful to a lot of 453 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 1: other people out there. And then your story, even when 454 00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: I was listening to it, I'm like, Okay, yes, he's 455 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 1: reminding me, like you're gonna have thoughts, just let those 456 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 1: thoughts come and then send them away and come back. 457 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 1: But you don't have to set out and do a 458 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:14,199 Speaker 1: thirty minute one, and like thinking of exercising or and 459 00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 1: how we know exercise is important, right, We've already that's 460 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: already been drilled into us. We know conditioning, but meditation 461 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,560 Speaker 1: hasn't been around quite as long. But you would probably 462 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,439 Speaker 1: put that in the same categories, like, yeah, this is 463 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:30,119 Speaker 1: just as important. So I'd imagine, who knows, ten twenty 464 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 1: years from now, it might just be like a normal 465 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: thing that we know that like food, sleep, water, working out, meditation, 466 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,960 Speaker 1: like it'll just be one of the things that we do. 467 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,880 Speaker 2: You are asking such good questions and that one. There 468 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,720 Speaker 2: are so many things I just want to double click 469 00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:47,719 Speaker 2: on or expand upon. I'll to see if I can 470 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,320 Speaker 2: remember them all first on the raw dogging thing, rather 471 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 2: than setting a timer and just sitting there and doing nothing. 472 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,439 Speaker 2: The reason why I think it's kind of ridiculous is 473 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 2: I think you can use those moments to meditate, which 474 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,679 Speaker 2: will actually help you be okay with being awake in 475 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,640 Speaker 2: those in between moments and frankly every moment. The other 476 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 2: thing I want to say is, and you hinted at this, 477 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,840 Speaker 2: like with the challenge you did, the meditation challenges you've done, 478 00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 2: and this sense that you felt like it's not I'm 479 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 2: not really doing it unless I do thirty minutes. I 480 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 2: just want to relieve you of any pressure you're undue 481 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,600 Speaker 2: pressure you're putting on yourself. All of the research around 482 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 2: habit formation indicates that it's very hard to do to 483 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 2: start a new habit, and so we don't need to 484 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 2: beat ourselves up if we struggle with it, or if 485 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 2: we have to try it again and again and again 486 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 2: to like really boot up a habit. So first, just 487 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 2: it's okay to struggle with this. And the second thing 488 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 2: is the probably the most reliable route to success is 489 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,040 Speaker 2: to start small. So I often tell people, you know, 490 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:51,320 Speaker 2: start with one minute daily ish, So you want to 491 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,960 Speaker 2: you want to lower the stakes and make this as 492 00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:01,400 Speaker 2: easefull as possible. The other thing I just want to 493 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 2: make sure I bless for you again is that if 494 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 2: you're getting distracted and starting again, and getting distracted and 495 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,920 Speaker 2: starting again, that's totally fine. Clearing your mind is impossible 496 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,360 Speaker 2: unless you're enlightened or you've died, so you know, it's 497 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:21,119 Speaker 2: such a deeply unhelpful misconception about meditation that you have 498 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 2: to clear your mind in order to do it correctly. Really, 499 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,360 Speaker 2: all we're trying to do is try to pay attention 500 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,040 Speaker 2: to one thing. Often it's the feeling of your breath 501 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:33,720 Speaker 2: coming in and going out, and then you get distracted 502 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,359 Speaker 2: and start again, get distracted, and start again. A lot 503 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,960 Speaker 2: of people think that the getting distracted is a failure, 504 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,879 Speaker 2: but actually it's success because the whole point of this 505 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,359 Speaker 2: exercise is to get familiar with the chaos and cacophony 506 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 2: of your mind so that it doesn't own you as much, 507 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 2: so you're not doing as many stupid things. And that's immensely, 508 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,480 Speaker 2: immensely valuable. So I think I answered all the things 509 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,119 Speaker 2: I wanted to say based on your great question. Did 510 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 2: I miss anything? 511 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 1: Now? 512 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:01,560 Speaker 3: That was great? 513 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 1: I want to talk about meta meditation next, the integration 514 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:07,959 Speaker 1: of compassion. 515 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 3: Can you expand on that for people? 516 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:14,480 Speaker 2: Yes. To be clear, Meta m E T t A 517 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 2: not to be confused with Meta me E t A, 518 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 2: the company that owns Facebook and Instagram. So, and I'm 519 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,720 Speaker 2: not correcting you. I think you already knew that. I'm 520 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:28,359 Speaker 2: just making sure the listeners understand that this is not 521 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,080 Speaker 2: a commercial for Instagram. M E T t A is 522 00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 2: an ancient form of meditation, also said to be invented 523 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 2: by the Buddha, although the versions of it that are 524 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 2: available now are total and everything I'm talking about now 525 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:48,280 Speaker 2: is totally secular and scientifically researched, and it can be 526 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:53,320 Speaker 2: These practices can be done by Christians, Jews, Muslims, whatever 527 00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 2: your religious belief or if you have no religious beliefs 528 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 2: at all, you can do this stuff. This is it's 529 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 2: not it's not religion is You can think of it 530 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:04,560 Speaker 2: as exercise for your brain. Oh, that was the other 531 00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,040 Speaker 2: thing you said earlier that I wanted to just make 532 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:12,960 Speaker 2: sure I double clicked on or amplified, which is I 533 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:16,880 Speaker 2: do think we're now thinking about fitness in broader ways. 534 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 2: So I'm all for physical fitness. I work out daily, 535 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:25,680 Speaker 2: but there's also mental fitness, which meditation falls into. You know, 536 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,760 Speaker 2: therapy would fall into that too, like making sure that 537 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 2: your brain and mind are as sharp as they can be. 538 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 2: And then now increasingly we're talking about social fitness or 539 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:40,320 Speaker 2: relational fitness, like how are your relationships doing, because that 540 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:45,040 Speaker 2: actually is the greatest predictor of lifespan, the quality of 541 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,560 Speaker 2: your relationships. Anyway back to Meta, and this is actually 542 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 2: not unrelated. This is another form of meditation that has 543 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:55,719 Speaker 2: been studied quite a bit in the labs and has 544 00:29:55,760 --> 00:30:00,280 Speaker 2: been shown to have psychological, physiological and even behave your 545 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 2: old benefits. Preschoolers taught this form of meditation have been 546 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:08,680 Speaker 2: shown to be more likely to give stickers away to 547 00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,680 Speaker 2: kids in their class they do not like, so it 548 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,200 Speaker 2: can have a real impact. So what is it? Before 549 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 2: I describe it in detail, let me just say that 550 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,320 Speaker 2: it's when I first heard about this, it seemed incredibly 551 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,800 Speaker 2: annoying to me, so just brace yourself. But basically, the 552 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:28,960 Speaker 2: practice is you envision a series of people, or it 553 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 2: can be pets in at least one of the categories. 554 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 2: You start with an easy person or this is where 555 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 2: you can use your pet, somebody who's really uncomplicated and 556 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,000 Speaker 2: easy to love, and you imagine them in your mind, 557 00:30:42,040 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 2: and then you send a bunch of phrases like maybe 558 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 2: be happy, maybe healthy, may you live with ease, et cetera, 559 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 2: et cetera, And then you work your way through a 560 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,320 Speaker 2: sequence from an easy person to yourself, to a mentor 561 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 2: to a neutral person somebody you see all the time 562 00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:01,479 Speaker 2: but don't have many feelings about that difficult person, and 563 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 2: then everybody everywhere, And it can feel a little bit 564 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:08,760 Speaker 2: like Valentine's Day with a gun to your head. But 565 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 2: it has it has deep, deep impacts on your brain 566 00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 2: and on the rest of your body. And for me 567 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 2: as somebody who's kind of for me, as somebody who's 568 00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:24,120 Speaker 2: really wired, as a frosty New Englander, it has helped 569 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:29,840 Speaker 2: me immensely in having a friendlier attitude towards my own mind, 570 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 2: and that then has implications for how I am out 571 00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 2: in the world, and then how I am out in 572 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:40,840 Speaker 2: the world makes me even happier, and then I'm even 573 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 2: more friendly out in the world, and then I get 574 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:48,240 Speaker 2: even happier, and it's a really beneficial upward spiral. Does 575 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 2: that make sense what I'm saying? 576 00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:51,360 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'm already just sitting here thinking, like, can 577 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,400 Speaker 1: all the world leaders if be required to do meta meditation? 578 00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:59,240 Speaker 1: I mean, because obviously as a leader, you have to 579 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 1: have a certain amount of edge. 580 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,400 Speaker 3: But you address this in the book as well. 581 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:07,480 Speaker 1: That, like, I do understand how complicated that might seem, 582 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,720 Speaker 1: especially for you if you're trying to practice one thing 583 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,560 Speaker 1: and then you have to show up another way. And 584 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:14,520 Speaker 1: you know, people should listen to the book to know 585 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 1: more of what we're talking about there, because I really 586 00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 1: enjoyed that part about how to show up one way 587 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,360 Speaker 1: and then showing up at work another way. And then 588 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:27,640 Speaker 1: your wife even had to get involved and you know, 589 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,720 Speaker 1: nudge you along a little bit, like come on, you 590 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,120 Speaker 1: got to get yourself in the game. But yeah, so 591 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,479 Speaker 1: like as a leader, you can't. 592 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 3: You have to. There's certain ways you have to be. 593 00:32:37,360 --> 00:32:37,880 Speaker 3: I get that. 594 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 1: But also they could all just share their stickers a 595 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 1: little more, you know. 596 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,760 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, I mean this is so important because I am. 597 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:52,840 Speaker 2: I am a businessman and a content creator and a 598 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,720 Speaker 2: father and a husband. Like I'm I'm an active person 599 00:32:57,280 --> 00:33:00,400 Speaker 2: in the world, and I Am not suggesting that we 600 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,840 Speaker 2: become doormats or pelukas or punching bags at all. What 601 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,880 Speaker 2: I'm saying is that you can take all of the 602 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:13,960 Speaker 2: same actions. You can be as strategic, as competitive on 603 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:19,720 Speaker 2: the athletic field, in the boardroom, in every context. You 604 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,120 Speaker 2: just don't need to be motivated by hatred and anger. 605 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:27,040 Speaker 2: I don't think that's a clean burning fuel. I think love, 606 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,480 Speaker 2: And I'm being cheesy and I get it, but properly understood, 607 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 2: love is a better motivator. So you may be thinking, well, 608 00:33:34,720 --> 00:33:38,280 Speaker 2: I'm a marine, I can't be motivated by that. Why not? 609 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:40,720 Speaker 2: Why can't you be motivated by love of your country 610 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 2: and love of your fellow marines. Why can't that move 611 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,600 Speaker 2: you forward instead of hatred? What we know about hatred 612 00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:55,640 Speaker 2: and anger? While they have their uses. For sure, anger 613 00:33:55,640 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 2: can get us off the couch. It can help us 614 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 2: spot a program, a problem and get more motivated. But 615 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 2: in terms of a long an abiding source of energy 616 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:10,319 Speaker 2: and fuel, it constricts your literally constricts your vision, It 617 00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 2: reduces your peripheral vision. It doesn't help you be maximally 618 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 2: creative and flexible. And again, I know it's a provocative 619 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,000 Speaker 2: word to use, using it in a very broad way. 620 00:34:22,320 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 2: So love for yourself, for your family, for your country 621 00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,160 Speaker 2: is a Your brain is in a state where you 622 00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:35,200 Speaker 2: can handle problems in a much more creative way that 623 00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:40,160 Speaker 2: doesn't lead to inner toxicity and burnout. It's a better 624 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,880 Speaker 2: route to helping you reach your goals. 625 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,839 Speaker 1: I think I just keep thinking of the saying, probably 626 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:49,759 Speaker 1: because I've made it my mantra the last couple of 627 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,360 Speaker 1: weeks for some stuff going on. It's just clear as kind, 628 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:55,440 Speaker 1: unclear as unkind, and I feel like when my emotions 629 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,799 Speaker 1: are in the driver's seat, I get really unclear and 630 00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,120 Speaker 1: things are messy, and then it's not kind and the 631 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 1: kindest thing I can do, even I'm being firm as 632 00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,279 Speaker 1: a parent or at work, and I have to have boundaries. 633 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:09,360 Speaker 1: If I'm operating from a clear, kind space, then i 634 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: can deliver it. So that's over and over, clear as kind, 635 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 1: unclear as unkind, and yeah, through with my FAI, through meditation, prayer, 636 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:24,040 Speaker 1: different things I know that I do that help ground me. 637 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,920 Speaker 1: I know I can get to that space a lot 638 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:30,320 Speaker 1: quicker and I can know, Okay, emotions are here right now, 639 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,320 Speaker 1: I need to wait till they're in the passenger seat 640 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,400 Speaker 1: and then I can proceed. 641 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 3: And I'm just. 642 00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 1: Thankful getting back in this book has helped me get 643 00:35:38,239 --> 00:35:40,360 Speaker 1: back into meditation, because I told you I did that 644 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 1: challenge a couple of years ago and got really into 645 00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,000 Speaker 1: it and then it kind of, you know, life takes 646 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:50,160 Speaker 1: a turn and you're just I was thinking when I 647 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,960 Speaker 1: was doing one of the meditations recently, I was like, oh, 648 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,000 Speaker 1: why did I ever drop this habit? Like how did 649 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 1: I ever drop it? But I didn't let that keep 650 00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 1: me from moving forward with it, and so now I 651 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,240 Speaker 1: feel like I'm starting back on this journey. 652 00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:04,800 Speaker 3: So thank you so much. 653 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,239 Speaker 1: For ten percent happier because it's brought it back in 654 00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:13,319 Speaker 1: to my life. And I've read the Power of Now 655 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,919 Speaker 1: and something in the book and you talk about Eckartilla. 656 00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,240 Speaker 3: I was like, I never. 657 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,640 Speaker 1: Thought the things that you think. And I was like, wow, 658 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:23,719 Speaker 1: he's just really going hard on some people. Not that 659 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: you were in a bad, bad way, but did you 660 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,640 Speaker 1: have do you you're laughing? 661 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:28,760 Speaker 3: Do you get what I'm saying? 662 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:33,680 Speaker 2: Yes, okay, I would have step back one thing. Just 663 00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 2: what you described about what you've been going through. You 664 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,279 Speaker 2: didn't say you didn't overshare, but you know, you just 665 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,120 Speaker 2: mentioned that you've been going through some stuff and coming 666 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,600 Speaker 2: back to clear his kind and coming back to a 667 00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 2: meditation practice. This is a weird thing to say because 668 00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,240 Speaker 2: we don't know each other, but I just felt proud 669 00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 2: of you. It just sounds like you're handling this beautifully. 670 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,640 Speaker 2: So oh just want to give you something. 671 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:59,480 Speaker 1: Well, thank you, And I may want to I am 672 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,520 Speaker 1: this is going to give meditation shout out too, because 673 00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,239 Speaker 1: I had like a zoom call yesterday of someone that 674 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,200 Speaker 1: I've worked with that's been involved with like our family 675 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,760 Speaker 1: for a few years, and she said on the call, 676 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:14,120 Speaker 1: she said, you it's probably been about five years now. 677 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,200 Speaker 1: I guess she said you are not the same person 678 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,520 Speaker 1: that I met five years ago, and so thank you 679 00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,600 Speaker 1: for saying that. And I shared that not as like, 680 00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 1: oh look at me. It's just we were talking earlier 681 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:33,240 Speaker 1: about how change is possible and that our brains can change. 682 00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,120 Speaker 1: It absolutely can happen, and I could have stayed stuck 683 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:41,960 Speaker 1: in old patterns and continued that behavior. But meditation is 684 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,960 Speaker 1: a piece to that puzzle that helped me change. And 685 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,840 Speaker 1: that's why I think it was so shocking to me 686 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:51,080 Speaker 1: that for the last year or so I had dropped 687 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,439 Speaker 1: that habit, and so now I'm thankful that it is back. 688 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 3: So thank you. 689 00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:00,480 Speaker 2: Just to respond to that, the falling off a wagon, 690 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:03,000 Speaker 2: so to speak, on meditation or any other habit is 691 00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:06,160 Speaker 2: totally normal and nothing's been lost. You can always start again, 692 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,800 Speaker 2: and so I just for you and for anybody listening, 693 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,840 Speaker 2: and whether it's meditation or exercise or healthy eating, whatever 694 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,640 Speaker 2: it is, it's completely normal to struggle it in that way, 695 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,880 Speaker 2: and you can always start again. But to answer the 696 00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,239 Speaker 2: question you were actually asking, which is you know in 697 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:23,120 Speaker 2: the book, I totally make fun of people, including best 698 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:27,200 Speaker 2: selling authors like et Caartoli and Deepak Chopra, and yeah, 699 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:31,440 Speaker 2: I tried to do it in a loving, fun way, 700 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:35,520 Speaker 2: but I definitely made fun of them, and I think, 701 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:39,040 Speaker 2: speaking of change, it's probably not the way I would 702 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,640 Speaker 2: write about people now many years later, and you know, 703 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,080 Speaker 2: in the book I'm working on now, like I do 704 00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 2: kind of make fun of a few people, but it's 705 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,320 Speaker 2: a little different in my current state. 706 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,720 Speaker 1: Okay, I just had it and I was like, oh wow, Okay, 707 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 1: he went after them, but not You're right, it was 708 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 1: kind of it was handled well for sure. I just 709 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:02,560 Speaker 1: was Maybe it was another thing I found that I appreciated, 710 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:07,320 Speaker 1: Like you're just a normal person and you even anybody 711 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: that's thought about it or thinks like, oh that's too 712 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,640 Speaker 1: boo boo or whatever, like you come from a perspective 713 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,799 Speaker 1: of like you were that, Like you even on your 714 00:39:13,880 --> 00:39:16,720 Speaker 1: ten day silent retreat, you're like, this is stupid, I'm leaving, 715 00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,359 Speaker 1: like you know, and that's me fair phrasing. You didn't 716 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,080 Speaker 1: say those exact words, but you that's the vibe I felt, 717 00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:27,080 Speaker 1: and I appreciated that. So because you're not coming from this, 718 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 1: you know, place of oh I've a I've always been 719 00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 1: this way and this is going to be amazing. Like 720 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,319 Speaker 1: you're like, this is ridiculous, and then you sort of 721 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:39,960 Speaker 1: through your own research realized like, oh no, actually this 722 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 1: is not red ridiculous. 723 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 3: It's life changing. 724 00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:43,799 Speaker 2: So well said, and I appreciate it. 725 00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,279 Speaker 1: Thank you ten percent happier And like I said, I'm 726 00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 1: very thankful for the meditation practice at the end of 727 00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:50,880 Speaker 1: the book. 728 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:52,800 Speaker 3: That was a nice touch. 729 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:54,800 Speaker 1: All right, Dan, I hear you have a new audible 730 00:39:54,800 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 1: original coming out on March fifth. It's called even You 731 00:39:57,640 --> 00:40:00,919 Speaker 1: Can Meditate. Find the time, the motivation and the right 732 00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,040 Speaker 1: practice for you. What can we look forward to in 733 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:04,760 Speaker 1: this new book? 734 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,719 Speaker 2: Yeah, I did a little audible book with my friend 735 00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:11,239 Speaker 2: seven A Selassie. She's a highly trained meditation teacher, and 736 00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:15,279 Speaker 2: we recorded this had a lot of fun and it's 737 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,200 Speaker 2: really kind of a meditation book for people who think 738 00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:19,120 Speaker 2: they can't meditate. 739 00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:23,040 Speaker 1: Well perfect, I'm probably going to check that out because 740 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 1: I still am thinking I cannot, but I'm still going 741 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:27,280 Speaker 1: to keep trying. 742 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:28,640 Speaker 3: Well, Dan, thank you so much. 743 00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,560 Speaker 2: Sure, that's just another just to say that thinking you 744 00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,800 Speaker 2: can't is just another thought. And if you just notice, 745 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:36,880 Speaker 2: oh that's a thought, it's a thought, then you can 746 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,120 Speaker 2: go back to your breath. 747 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:42,440 Speaker 1: It's already gone, Dan, Yeah, it's already gone. And I like, 748 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,359 Speaker 1: you know what, I love to visualize. And I don't 749 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,120 Speaker 1: know what meditation gave this to me. I can't remember 750 00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,400 Speaker 1: at some point, but I love to visualize when I 751 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,560 Speaker 1: breathe in, all this ray of light is coming towards 752 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:55,120 Speaker 1: me and coming into my hands and I hold them 753 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,000 Speaker 1: up and I breathe in, and I breathe in the 754 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,600 Speaker 1: light and then it goes through my body on the 755 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: exhale and outside my toes. 756 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:02,560 Speaker 3: Is that Dan approved? 757 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,400 Speaker 2: I'm I am. I really believe that people should do 758 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,360 Speaker 2: whatever works for them. I want people to feel better 759 00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:13,440 Speaker 2: and feel okay with themselves. And I think that's going 760 00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:16,360 Speaker 2: to make a you know, to be cheesy again, like 761 00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:19,840 Speaker 2: that'll improve the world. And so yeah, whatever gets you there, 762 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,239 Speaker 2: as long as it's not harmful to you or anybody else. 763 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:23,759 Speaker 2: I bless it well. 764 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,720 Speaker 1: Dan, Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom today. 765 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,480 Speaker 1: If you are ready to take action on your goals 766 00:41:29,640 --> 00:41:32,320 Speaker 1: and you want even more strategies to make it happen, 767 00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,600 Speaker 1: check out ten Percent Happier by Dan Harris or the 768 00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:39,520 Speaker 1: Upcoming Even You can meditate on March fifth, All available 769 00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:43,040 Speaker 1: on Audible. Let's make twenty twenty six your most productive 770 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:43,600 Speaker 1: year yet. 771 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me on and the 772 00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,440 Speaker 2: great questions. I really appreciate it.