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Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature Future production of iHeartRadio Creature Feature.

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Speaker 2: It's Creature cring Old Times, Oh Holiday Special about our

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Speaker 2: furry friends. Today we'll go into the distant past and

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Speaker 2: find out who Bold Cape Santasly.

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Speaker 3: Imagination Station.

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Speaker 2: Real life unicorns join us as we learn exploring.

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Speaker 4: The early elephants were really really rare, and horses used

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Speaker 4: to be like you were boys Creecha feature the Holiday Special.

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Speaker 1: But we will not be singing the whole time.

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Speaker 3: I promise stay here.

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Speaker 2: Placed On gold.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Creature Feature production of iHeartRadio. I'm your host.

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Speaker 1: So many parasites, Katie Golden. I studied psychology and evolutionary biology,

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Speaker 1: and today on the show, we're talking about Caveman Santa

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Speaker 1: and who would have guided.

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Speaker 2: Its like Happy Creature cringle, Happy Creature, Congle, Happy Creature cry.

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Speaker 1: So we are going to be sacking Santa's reindeer and

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Speaker 1: replacing them with my favorite contenders from Christmas past, way past,

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Speaker 1: millions of years in the past, from a real unicorn

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Speaker 1: to a horse small enough to fit in Paris Hilton's purse.

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Speaker 1: These ghosts of Christmas Paths are ready to spread joy

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Speaker 1: to all the world's children. Or cave children or apes.

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Speaker 1: When we go far enough back discover this and more

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Speaker 1: as we answer the age old question, if you've got

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Speaker 1: a shovel for a mouth, how do you kiss under

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Speaker 1: the mistletoel? Joining me today is friend of the podcast,

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Speaker 1: host of Secretly incredibly Fascinating and jolly Human, Alex Schmidt.

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Speaker 5: Welcome. I have so deeply chilly after that song. Yes,

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Speaker 5: I felt like we were both Clay madd and on

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Speaker 5: a sledge. Yeah, going through a wonderful land. That was great.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, our hair kind of flopping around as it's not

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Speaker 1: quite animated correctly, and like you can see like fingerprints

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Speaker 1: on the clay, that kind of like style, you know,

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Speaker 1: real rough, real rough clamation going on here.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. They made it in a hurry and they had to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you can see a hand in one of the frames.

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Speaker 1: There's like clear wires and threads sticking out. But that's

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Speaker 1: what makes it special. So today we are we are

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Speaker 1: actually talking about animals that do look like they are

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Speaker 1: from a crappy clamation from the fifties, like for real,

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Speaker 1: and I am so excited. These are prehistoric, extinct animals

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Speaker 1: who I think would be quite impressive guiding Santa's sleigh.

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Speaker 5: So I love it. That's very exciting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so let's start out, I think with a unicorn.

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Speaker 3: Alex.

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Speaker 1: Do you believe in unicorns?

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Speaker 5: Oh? I don't believe in them. I just really like

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Speaker 5: the concept, like that was some really clever. I wonder

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Speaker 5: if people were ever like cryptid believing in it type

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Speaker 5: people about unicorns. I think it's a very fun, fantastical idea.

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Speaker 1: I think so. I think people did just probably because

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Speaker 1: they found fossils they couldn't explain and they were like, well,

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Speaker 1: that's a unicorn. Or they found an RWL tusk and

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Speaker 1: they're like, that's a unicorn.

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Speaker 5: That's yeah, that's true. I guess, especially when you're digging,

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Speaker 5: if you just find a whole horse and one horn

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Speaker 5: from any horned animal, it's an easy mistake to make.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. But what if I told you there really

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Speaker 1: was a unicorn and it's very fantastical looking, I'd be thrilled.

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Speaker 5: I'd want to ride first. First I was in a

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Speaker 5: claymated sled. Very thrilling. Now I'm going to ride a unicorn.

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Speaker 5: I've gotta listen to that like happy Unicorn power song

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Speaker 5: from that one game, like the platformer from the internet. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: it's not a good description of it, but you know

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Speaker 5: what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So, first, in order to discover this unicorn, I

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Speaker 1: want you to imagine a rhino, just a regular rhino.

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Speaker 1: You got it on it?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Is it in there? Now make it bigger, like, way bigger.

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Speaker 1: And now make it fluffy. Is it fluffy?

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Speaker 5: Oh fantastic?

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Speaker 1: Yes, Now reimagine the rhino's horn to the horn of

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Speaker 1: a giant magical unicorn coming right out of the middle

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Speaker 1: of its forehead.

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Speaker 5: That's true, the forehead horn. That's got to be such

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Speaker 5: a different experience from the nose horn right right right,

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Speaker 5: like your whole head balance and everything. That seems like

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Speaker 5: a maybe small change at first, but when I really

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Speaker 5: think about it, boy, totally differently.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. There aren't really many animals or any that I

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Speaker 1: can think of, that really have that single forehead horn.

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Speaker 1: Our current day rhinos do sometimes have a sort of

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Speaker 1: nose horn and then maybe a forehead horn the two

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Speaker 1: horned rhinos, and some of them just got through the

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Speaker 1: nose horn bump, but one horn just right out in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the forehead. Really struggling to think of

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Speaker 1: any mammal that has that situation going on.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, shoot, I wish they were still here. I think

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Speaker 5: this is prehistoric, right we Yeah, it's it's departed in

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Speaker 5: an age long ago.

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Speaker 1: It has they have gone on a big spaceship and

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Speaker 1: gone to that great planet of the Siberian unicorns in

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Speaker 1: the sky. So, yes, this is the extinct Siberian unicorn

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Speaker 1: aka alasmatheriums sibericum that once thudded along the grasslands of

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Speaker 1: your asia long ago. So alex, uh, you have it

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Speaker 1: in your imagination, and now look at those pictures that

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Speaker 1: I've provided for you as well.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm pulling it up. And this is an extra

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Speaker 5: good time to me because there's like an illustration first

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Speaker 5: and then a physical mockup somebody made seconds. And I

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Speaker 5: think the physical mock up the horn gets even bigger

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Speaker 5: if I'm seeing this right like they just I feel

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Speaker 5: like every person who imagines this is exaggerating like a

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Speaker 5: fish story with the horn.

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Speaker 1: At some point the horn is just so big. It's

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Speaker 1: this little little rhinoceros dangling off of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so the horn itself.

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Speaker 1: We don't I'm gonna be real with you, We don't

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Speaker 1: really know how big this thing was. The size of

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Speaker 1: it is estimated based on the skull, because I don't

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Speaker 1: think they have like that much in term of full

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Speaker 1: intact horns of like adults. So the like it's like

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Speaker 1: there's this indentation on the skull that seems to be

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Speaker 1: where the horn would have grown out of, and then

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Speaker 1: they estimate the size of the horn based on other

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Speaker 1: aspects of this thing. So I am a little skeptical

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Speaker 1: of the one where it just seems like it is

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Speaker 1: this massive horn that is almost I mean, it's bigger

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Speaker 1: than its head in circumference almost. Not sure if that's true,

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Speaker 1: but it would be cool cool if true.

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Speaker 5: I think I think you're right. I think this drawing

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Speaker 5: the first version it's and it's still quite a horn,

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Speaker 5: and it also seems a little more proportional. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 5: way into it. Yeah, And it's so far up on

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Speaker 5: the head there, You're right, it's just kind of got

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Speaker 5: a snout in the nose area.

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Speaker 1: It's it's a chunky unicorn. It's a thick, thick unicorn.

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Speaker 1: So the Siberian unicorn when extinct a little under forty

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Speaker 1: thousand years ago, so technically humans may have crossed paths

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Speaker 1: with these fellers at some point. It was huge, it

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Speaker 1: was larger than any living species of rhino and larger

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Speaker 1: than its contemporary, the wooly rhino. So it weighed around

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Speaker 1: four tons or two toyota tacomas, my favorite unit of measurement.

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Speaker 1: It was fifteen feet or four point five meters long.

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Speaker 1: It was also over eight feet or two point five

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Speaker 1: meters tall, So is a big boy.

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Speaker 5: Wow. Okay, yeah, yeah, I love with the prehistoric stuff.

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Speaker 5: They do that little scale diagram where it's just a

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Speaker 5: silhouette of a little human next to whatever it is.

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Speaker 5: I'm glad to know that human would be very dwarfed.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, be little, just lit, little bitty human. I mean,

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Speaker 1: riding one of these things, you'd look like a hobbit. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: It's very like somebody on a giant eagle and learn

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Speaker 5: of the rings, right that scale The eagle is much bigger.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean it is. It is shockingly huge.

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Speaker 1: I think that it is. And it's funny because it

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Speaker 1: is like it's like a very metal unicorn. So like

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Speaker 1: you know, you have a unicorn, and people may tease

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Speaker 1: you like, oh you like unicorns. That's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: that's weak, that's something that manly, you know, I don't

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Speaker 1: even know toxic masculinity, but like this, this is a

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Speaker 1: unicorn who would thoroughly trounce you.

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Speaker 5: I guess forgotten that a little bit. There is that

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Speaker 5: gendering of how we assume people will like unicorns, Like

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Speaker 5: we think all horse girls will also like unicorns, and

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Speaker 5: then boys will be too busy with tanks and this

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Speaker 5: animal is sort of a tank.

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Speaker 1: So it's funny to me that unicorns is seen as

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Speaker 1: this like feminine kind of like non tough thing because

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Speaker 1: it is a horse that has a spear on its forehead.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, like put it together, folks.

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Speaker 1: Right, a horse on a bad day can wreck you, right,

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Speaker 1: like a horse can already wreck you. Oh, it can

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Speaker 1: stop you, it can toss you, it can kick you.

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Speaker 1: It's already serious. And then you add a weapon to

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Speaker 1: its head and we're like, oh, that's you know, that's

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Speaker 1: that's weak, Like that's that's silly, and that's for girls.

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Speaker 1: And it's like, first of all, fine, like if girls

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Speaker 1: have to claim unicorns, it's fine, good luck with your

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Speaker 1: non weaponized horses, Fellas.

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Speaker 5: That is funny. About a month ago I rode a

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Speaker 5: horse for the first time.

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Speaker 1: Really was it scary and scared of horses?

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Speaker 5: It I think it was a very well trained horse,

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Speaker 5: but it also had a lot of different ideas from

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Speaker 5: me about how we should be proceeding on the ride,

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Speaker 5: where we should go, how fast we should go. It's

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Speaker 5: like every time I told it to do something different,

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Speaker 5: it changed. It was like, okay, fine. But also I

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Speaker 5: had learned how to talk to this horse like two

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Speaker 5: seconds before getting at it. Yeah, so I did not

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Speaker 5: feel in control at all. I was like, Okay, I

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Speaker 5: just hope being perched on this works out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I mean I feel like I would be

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Speaker 1: very easily bossed around by a horse. I love horses.

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Speaker 1: I have never ridden a real horse. I've written a

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Speaker 1: pony before as a kid, but I thoroughly respect them.

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Speaker 1: And they scare me a little bit, like they are

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Speaker 1: so huge, and I'm like, you are just by your

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Speaker 1: good nature not turning my face into a concave bowl

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Speaker 1: like I eh, you know. And I think that they

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Speaker 1: are quite impressive, and they the idea of like being like, well,

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Speaker 1: now I'm gonna hop on you. It's like that seems rude.

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Speaker 1: Maybe the horse is fine with it, but I don't

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Speaker 1: know what I'm doing. And I would just let that

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Speaker 1: board that I would let the horse take charge. Really,

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Speaker 1: it's just like, look, don't ignore me, do what you want.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm even here. You want to carrot?

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Speaker 1: Don't don't kick me?

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Speaker 5: Should have carrots? Yeah, I and you know, I made

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Speaker 5: it back to shout out to Bud. Bud was the

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Speaker 5: name of the horse, Bud. But there's Yeah, he's a

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Speaker 5: nice guy. But it's it really is. It's like you're

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Speaker 5: it's like you're on a motorcycle, but you're also on

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Speaker 5: top of a cliff, right, and then a fireman animal

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Speaker 5: can throw you off of the cliff at any time

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Speaker 5: if it wants to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a motor tall motorcycle with feelings. Yeah, well.

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Speaker 5: Anyway, I want to ride this animal.

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Speaker 1: So anyways, this is like a mega rhino, also with

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Speaker 1: a huge spear on its head, so good luck with that.

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Speaker 1: The horn on its head is thought to have been

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Speaker 1: massive and likely required the Siberian unicorn to grow a

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Speaker 1: large muscular hump on its back, sort of like a bison. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you love bison, so I thought you'd like this

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Speaker 1: This guy too, fantastic. It is unknown, like I said,

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Speaker 1: how big the horn really was, but based on a

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Speaker 1: large indiant found on its skull reconstructions, imagine this unicorn

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Speaker 1: is being longer than its head and very very thick.

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Speaker 1: I would say some of the thickest models of it

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Speaker 1: may be exaggerating a little bit, but it even with

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Speaker 1: the more toned down the toned down illustrations of it,

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Speaker 1: still look ridiculous. Like it is like a thick It's

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Speaker 1: like a bison mixed with a rhino. Make it huge

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Speaker 1: and then a like not just like one of those

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Speaker 1: sort of thin you know unicorn horns, a big one.

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Speaker 1: It's a chonker.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. When you said the scientific name before, I think

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Speaker 5: the phrase like them was part of it. Yeah, and

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Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure I learned from this great show. I

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Speaker 5: first learned about megatheriums, and ever since then I've been like, okay,

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Speaker 5: theium is probably a big megathere oh mega too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sure, I don't know what the theeum room means

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Speaker 1: theeum does that mean?

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know Latin. I probably should have learned Latin

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Speaker 1: at some point because of animals, but I didn't. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: so this is yeah, this is a lasmo Theorium cibericum.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, despite looking like they could easily shish

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Speaker 1: kabab you and roast you over and open fire. They

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Speaker 1: were big, old herbivores, likely grazers who munched down massive

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Speaker 1: amounts of grass, and their dependence on the grasslands may

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Speaker 1: have been what led to their downfall. There's not really

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Speaker 1: evidence that we like to them to extinction or anything

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Speaker 1: like that. It seems to be more that because they

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Speaker 1: were so huge and they needed so much grass that

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Speaker 1: as grasslands shrank after the ice age, they simply were

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Speaker 1: not able to get enough grass to sustain their populations.

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Speaker 5: That makes sense. Yeah, this definitely seems like it needs

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Speaker 5: to be chompident chewing all of the time to buildup

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Speaker 5: more horn, but also to keep going.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right exactly, so that that temperature change really kind

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Speaker 1: of screwed them. So in terms of why I think

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Speaker 1: the Siberian unicorn would be a good candidate for Santa

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Speaker 1: Cave Santa to bring back from from the I guess

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Speaker 1: from the extinction, although I guess if it's Cave Santa

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Speaker 1: Cave Santa would have been contemporary with this guy. So

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Speaker 1: one is that there is huge horn to break ice

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Speaker 1: or to fight off grenches. The Siberian unicorn is also

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Speaker 1: vegetarian friendly. It only grass. It is also fluffy, cold proof,

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Speaker 1: and adorable. And it's a literal unicorn, so I feel

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Speaker 1: like it is already probably infused with magic. What do

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Speaker 1: you think, Alex?

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Speaker 5: I agree with all that, and I'm thinking of that

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Speaker 5: like traditional picture of what is an eight reindeer pulling

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Speaker 5: the sledge? Yes, And I feel like it's like a

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Speaker 5: two columns of four reindeer. Is the general arrangement right

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Speaker 5: like to two These guys would need to work out

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Speaker 5: being positioned directly behind each other with an enormous horn.

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Speaker 5: And I could do it because like reindeer have those

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Speaker 5: huge antlers, they're not sticking up each other's butts all

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Speaker 5: the time, you know, so these guys could probably figure

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Speaker 5: it out trust But.

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Speaker 1: The antlers are little less forward facing than this horn,

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Speaker 1: so I guess they'd need they'd need some personal space

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Speaker 1: there to avoid a very unfortunate situation if like the

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Speaker 1: one in front breaks very suddenly.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I think maybe a bunch of pathing like yeah,

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Speaker 5: window sock sort of structure it stick.

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Speaker 1: A little like ball of styrofoam on the top of

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Speaker 1: that point there.

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Speaker 5: I think it could be festive going to work honey,

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Speaker 5: and they put a huge one of those foam microphone

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Speaker 5: covers over your horn.

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Speaker 1: Like it could be festive, little festive pom poms.

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Speaker 5: Oh, a lot of lights. You can put so many

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Speaker 5: Christmas lights on.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that you could paint it like a giant candy cane.

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Speaker 3: Goshh So, Alex, I.

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Speaker 1: Know what you're wondering. I know what you're thinking. What

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Speaker 1: do you get when you cross a snowshovel with an elephant?

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Speaker 5: Man? Finally, here I am on a horseback in the

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Speaker 5: woods wondering that question, and the horse is like, I

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Speaker 5: don't know, man, And I keep asking the horse, what

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Speaker 5: do you do with a snowshovel in an elephant?

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Speaker 1: It's one of the great unanswered questions of our times. Well,

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Speaker 1: I have an answer. It's the platy belodon, the world's

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Speaker 1: doofiest extinct elephant. He looks so dumb.

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Speaker 5: Hooray Oh I pulled up the picture. Wow, great, very good.

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Speaker 1: This is one of my favorite extinct animals. It is

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Speaker 1: one of the animals that got me interested in evolutionary

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Speaker 1: biology when I was a kid, because I got like

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Speaker 1: a what was it. I don't remember the brand of magazine.

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Speaker 1: It might have been a zoo books, but it was

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Speaker 1: like a free magazine we got in the mail.

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Speaker 5: That was about Suprehistoric Freaks Weekly. That was one of

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Speaker 5: my favorite.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was like it was like the evolution of the elephant,

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Speaker 1: and it showed a just a bunch of weird, weird elephants,

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Speaker 1: and I was fascinated by that, and it really, I

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Speaker 1: mean I was already I already loved it. I think

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Speaker 1: I was already probably addicted to animals at that point,

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Speaker 1: but this was, this was amazing. And so the Platybelodon

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Speaker 1: was one of the world's doofiest extinct elephants, possibly the

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Speaker 1: world's doofiest looking animal. It looks like a Star Wars animal,

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Speaker 1: but something that is so silly looking. Even George Lucas

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Speaker 1: would have had to edit it out of his films,

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Speaker 1: and he is notorious for having doofy things and not

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Speaker 1: knowing how to edit.

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Speaker 5: I am if people don't know really made the bison.

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Speaker 5: Emoji also vary into stuff like elephants, and I think

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Speaker 5: just like large mammals or like big I define things

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Speaker 5: I'm into. Yeah, and like when those when those Delexe

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Speaker 5: editions of the original Star Wars movies came out. I

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Speaker 5: was pretty excited about the do Bachs. I think that

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Speaker 5: whole school of animals, I'm like, pretty good. But do

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Speaker 5: Bacs are also, as you say, much more conventional. These

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Speaker 5: guys would be just wacky. It would be like, why

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Speaker 5: are the stormtroopers on a comedy animal? Silly?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So they do have a bit of a charger

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Speaker 1: being situation going on the yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So the Plotybelodon is a genus of extinct relatives of

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Speaker 1: elephants that lived during the Miocene epoch ten to fifteen

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Speaker 1: million years ago in Asia and Africa. So imagine an elephant,

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Speaker 1: but it's actually a bit smaller. Sometimes when we go prehistoric,

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Speaker 1: the animals are bigger, like giant slots and this giant

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Speaker 1: unicorn rhino, but sometimes it's smaller, you know. So this

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Speaker 1: one's a little bit smaller. Now, turn its trunk into

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Speaker 1: a giant shovel like almost kind of like duck bill

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Speaker 1: thing with a couple of buck teeth sticking out of

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Speaker 1: the lower jaw right on the tip of its mouth.

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Speaker 1: In addition, it still has tusts on the side of

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Speaker 1: its mouth like modern elephants. So there has been a

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Speaker 1: lot of debate about exactly what this thing looks like.

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Speaker 1: So there are some depictions of it that are a

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Speaker 1: little more far fetched than others. All of the depictions

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Speaker 1: of it are bananas bonkers, so don't worry, like there's

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Speaker 1: there's no depiction of it that makes it look normal,

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Speaker 1: like a reasonable animal. Some are just a little more

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Speaker 1: wild than others. The depiction that is my favorite, uh,

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Speaker 1: but possibly the least accurate, is the one where it

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Speaker 1: has like stretched out daffy duck like bill with like

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Speaker 1: buck teeth on the bottom. So it's hard to know

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Speaker 1: exactly what they look like because we only have the

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Speaker 1: like fossil records, we don't have the soft tissue records,

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Speaker 1: so like we don't know what like any of the

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Speaker 1: sort of soft tissue would have looked like. We can

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Speaker 1: only guess based on the skull, the lower jaw, what

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Speaker 1: the upper fleshy part of their essentially like it's this

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Speaker 1: elongated proboscus would have looked like. So with a modern elephant,

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Speaker 1: you have a elongated nose that acts as this big

365
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Speaker 1: proboscis and has all these muscles very fine tune control,

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Speaker 1: and its mouth is way back, you know, like it's

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Speaker 1: like it pulls it doesn't eat with the tip of

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Speaker 1: its trunk. It can breathe with the tip of its trunk,

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Speaker 1: but it you know, can pull up grasses or vegetation

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Speaker 1: and bring it up to its mouth. And you've probably

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Speaker 1: seen an elephant eat, you've probably seen it drink. It

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Speaker 1: also doesn't drink like through its nose. It sucks that

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Speaker 1: water in and then dumps it into its mouth.

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Speaker 5: So yea, yea.

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Speaker 1: So it's not that the Platybelodon had a similar situation

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Speaker 1: going that it didn't like have a weird mouth at

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Speaker 1: the tip of its preboscus, but unlike the unlike the elephant,

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Speaker 1: it had a low, elongated lower jaw. Now this is

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Speaker 1: pretty pretty definitive based on the fossil records. We have

380
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Speaker 1: the fossil records of this really long, like weird Scooper

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Speaker 1: shovel shovel like lower jaw that probably had these like

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Speaker 1: two sort of like buck teeth or like weird just

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Speaker 1: like two tusks together that's stuck out at the bottom.

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Speaker 1: So definitely had a long lower jaw. Now, the upper one,

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Speaker 1: like it could have been more like a modern day

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Speaker 1: elephant tusk, right, because the idea that it was more

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Speaker 1: like an elephant tusk. Is that its mouth again, like,

388
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Speaker 1: how is it gonna get stuff in its mouth like

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Speaker 1: like sort of scoop things up and then like toss

390
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Speaker 1: its head all the way back and hope that it

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Speaker 1: all falls in. Probably not with that. If it has

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Speaker 1: an easily manipulatable upper preboscis, then it could like you know,

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Speaker 1: pick things up and then place it back into its mouth,

394
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Speaker 1: which is like you know, sort of like the bits

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Speaker 1: where it would be able to chew and eat stuff

396
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Speaker 1: is not at the tip of that proboscis or even

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Speaker 1: at the tip of that jaw. It'd be in like deeper.

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Speaker 1: I mean, like it's weird to think about because our

399
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Speaker 1: mouths are so like self contained. But for this, for

400
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Speaker 1: this thing, it can't like chew with the front bits

401
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 1: of its lower jaw or its longus. It's got to

402
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Speaker 1: get it back there somehow. So like the depictions of

403
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 1: its mouth is more like a weird I don't even know,

404
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 1: just like a weird kind of like beak thing that

405
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: like closes all the way. It's like, well, then this

406
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 1: that upper thing would have to somehow get stuff in

407
00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:51,880
Speaker 1: that deeper into its mouth. And it's a little unclear

408
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,439
Speaker 1: how it would do that with such a long, unwieldy

409
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,199
Speaker 1: uh duck like preboscis. But you know, it could have

410
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Speaker 1: been flatter than a modern day elephant's trunk, but still

411
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Speaker 1: could manipulate things like still grab things and manipulate and

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Speaker 1: push it back, so I get I. In my opinion,

413
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Speaker 1: probably the most accurate model would be elephant with this

414
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Speaker 1: ridiculously long lower jaw with the two buck teeth sticking out.

415
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Speaker 1: So that's still good, that's still there.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, we're not losing that.

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Speaker 1: The top part of it. Probably a flatter but still

418
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Speaker 1: relatively recognizable elephant trunk on top of it, so not

419
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Speaker 1: quite like a weird duck bill, but still a flatter,

420
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: a little bit thicker and flatter elephant trunk. That's my

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Speaker 1: unprofessional opinion.

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Speaker 5: That's making me think of obviously all the cartoon ducks

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Speaker 5: you mentioned total fit, and then I'm thinking of the

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Speaker 5: Disney character goofy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I think if you put those two teeth of his

427
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Speaker 5: on the bottom and set the top, that's kind of

428
00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:07,560
Speaker 5: the mouth we're looking at, which yet I don't want

429
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Speaker 5: to see him eat at all, so that really takes

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Speaker 5: out of the cartoon.

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00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 1: It's it's very even the most reserved reconstructions of this

432
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:22,800
Speaker 1: are wild and very very strange. Looks like a fever

433
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 1: dream of an elephant. Yeah, now there, So like, there

434
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,680
Speaker 1: used to be this theory about this elephant that kind

435
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: of informed the illustrations of it, which is that it

436
00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: used its mouth as a shovel and kind of like

437
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,720
Speaker 1: would live in sort of swampy areas and then shovel

438
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 1: up sort of swamp grasses and then like you know,

439
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 1: kind of let it sort of drop in the backs

440
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: of their mouths. But modern researchers think that it's more

441
00:26:54,960 --> 00:27:00,199
Speaker 1: likely given the shape and characteristics of those low or

442
00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: buck teeth that just jut out. God it, it's just

443
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: it's so weird. It's like a big spoon with like

444
00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,840
Speaker 1: these two like a fork at the end. I don't

445
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: even know, man, it's look this thing up. Please look

446
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 1: it up, and don't look at just the first result.

447
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 1: Look at many different reconstructions. So the thought is that

448
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,880
Speaker 1: that they used this lower jaw not to like as

449
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:31,360
Speaker 1: a shovel, but actually as like a tree trimmer. So uh,

450
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:36,160
Speaker 1: it's like, uh, basically, the wear patterns on this seem

451
00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,679
Speaker 1: to indicate that it was used to strip off bark

452
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 1: and leaves off of trees. So basically it would use

453
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 1: this lower jutting jaw to like tree trim the tree,

454
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,359
Speaker 1: and then it's upper trunk to take that stuff it

455
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,080
Speaker 1: just trimmed and then push it back into its mouth.

456
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 5: I yeah, like a bucket for catching like an out.

457
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 5: It is amazing.

458
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:05,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so it's I mean, it's just like you

459
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: can imagine this thing shred and stuff with its weird

460
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,959
Speaker 1: lower jaw and then picking it up with its upper

461
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 1: trunk thing and then putting it in its mouth. Just

462
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:20,840
Speaker 1: I mean, there's no no matter how one reconstructs this,

463
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,760
Speaker 1: this elephant, it was preposterous.

464
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, for some reason of imaginally some comedy sketch where

465
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 5: like a tree has a mind like a human and

466
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:34,959
Speaker 5: is like, look at that dumb animal. Definitely eats marsh stuff.

467
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 5: Doesn't fuck me, it's getting closer to me, don't need

468
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,960
Speaker 5: to worry about it. Getting even closer to me, doesn't matter.

469
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 5: Stupid marshmouth. Definitely that Oh no, uh uh, it's definitely

470
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 5: a tree driver's aw. Oh no.

471
00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: So this is why I think the Platybelodon would be

472
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:55,080
Speaker 1: a good candidate for Santa's sleigh team. So even though

473
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: it may not have used its mouth as a shovel,

474
00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: I think it still could, so emergency the snowshovel mouth

475
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 1: for efficient rooftop landings, as long as the roof is

476
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 1: structurally stable enough to handle the weight of a small elephant.

477
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 1: But in addition, those buck teeth would be useful for

478
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: tree trimming, so cutting down Christmas trees trimming them all

479
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: great proboscis could the elephant trunk part of it could

480
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: be used to help tie Christmas presents And sorry, creature

481
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: Kringle presence. I want to be clear here. This is

482
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: for Creature Kringle Times, a non denominational holiday for all.

483
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, so creature creche Keva a creature Kringle Times presence.

484
00:29:41,160 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: Also Santa at least our creature Kringle Time Santa. Cave

485
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,520
Speaker 1: Santa is a kind, magical man who knows not to

486
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: ride on top of the Platybelodon because Platybelodon, like modern elephants,

487
00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:57,320
Speaker 1: probably had a skeletal structure that means they can't bear

488
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: the weight of a human rider and that can hurt

489
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: hit them. So Cave Santa would know this because he's

490
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: you know, magical and would use magical sleigh powder to

491
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: help the Plattybellaton fly and there would be no pressure

492
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: on its back. And they're probably friends. So that's cannon.

493
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's true. That's right. Yeah. I like that

494
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 5: we're thinking so much about how this animal eats. Yes,

495
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 5: it's making me think about Santa. Like there's so much

496
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,400
Speaker 5: Santa Laura about how Santa eats and drinks as this

497
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 5: night goes on, Like he has a couple of billion

498
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,040
Speaker 5: helpings of milk and cookies. So I want the Christmas

499
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 5: stuff to be like, yeah, kids like Santa will come

500
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 5: have milk and cookies. Meanwhile, his platty belladons are eating

501
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 5: the trees outside our house. That's a fun break to me.

502
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 5: That's a good a good stopper snacks.

503
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, make sure to plant a lot of friendly, deciduous

504
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: edible trees for the Plattybelloton, the creature Kringle times platty Beloton.

505
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 5: You're like, oh, a wonderful set of presents. Anyway, time

506
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 5: to go outside and all the trees are just gone,

507
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 5: like you can just see for miles, you know.

508
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 1: Right, I mean you got to pay the piper. In

509
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:14,560
Speaker 1: this instance, an extinct elephant relative Yeah, there's a lot

510
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 1: of rooftop damage too from the magical Platybelodon thumping down

511
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: onto the roof. I feel like reindeer reindeer would cause

512
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 1: a good amount of damage anyways, So.

513
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 5: That's yeah. I think a lot of especially kids are like, oh,

514
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,880
Speaker 5: all hoofed animals are on like pony logic where it's

515
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 5: tiny in a way I want it to be. But

516
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,800
Speaker 5: those things are huge, like they would definitely break through

517
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,479
Speaker 5: a lot of roofs and singles and stuff.

518
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:47,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, speaking of tiny pony logic, when we return,

519
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 1: we are going to stop with the big and start

520
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: thinking small. So tiny pony time, tiny pony time, tiny,

521
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 1: tiny any time. It's like tiny tim but tiny pony at.

522
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 5: Least, sir, may I have some ponies. It's like, I'll

523
00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 5: give you ponies. I'm actually very nice, surprise.

524
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: So so far we've gone with huge animals who could

525
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 1: probably take over, like the whole reindeer team, to be honest,

526
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: like the platty belt On the Siberian Unicorn, both quite

527
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 1: huge megafauna. But what about microfauna neotini, tiny adorable animals.

528
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 1: So let's look at the world's first horse number one

529
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 1: horse number one like once we started making these horses

530
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:44,200
Speaker 1: very different from from the horses today. So when we

531
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 1: think about like the world's first x y Z, it's

532
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 1: it's like kind of tricky, right, like, well, what truly

533
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 1: was the world's first horse? Well, it's more like this

534
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: is the first sort of common ancestor of all horses.

535
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 1: And that's essentially what we would say, say, like, you

536
00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: know the first horse, and the first horse was so

537
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: teeny and tiny inch bowl. Uh, it's it's so wonderful.

538
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: The first horse was the Prippis Sandre, which was a

539
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: genus of teeny tiny, itty bitty baby horses who lived

540
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: in Wyoming over fifty million years ago. So it was

541
00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: the size of a chihuahua around eight pounds or four

542
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 1: and a half kilograms. It was smaller than a modern

543
00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 1: horse's head. So wow, this kind of horse, I feel

544
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: like I could confidently boss around.

545
00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 5: It's true, isn't it? Is this the horse from the

546
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 5: question about the duck sized horses or the horse sized duck?

547
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 5: This is it?

548
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,480
Speaker 1: Right? Like, I guess fight, but I wouldn't want to

549
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,400
Speaker 1: fight these guys because they're so cute.

550
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 5: No. No, And also, anytime people ask that question, I'm like,

551
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 5: why are you battling animals? They're so nice? Like, I

552
00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:05,960
Speaker 5: don't know that.

553
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 1: I feel like, if the duck sized horses want to

554
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,680
Speaker 1: fight you, you've done something to deserve it.

555
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 5: Absolutely, all one hundred of them can't be wrong.

556
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,919
Speaker 1: So the main difference between it and modern horses, other

557
00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:24,000
Speaker 1: than obviously the fact it's the size of a lap dog,

558
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: is its feet. So while horses have one fused toe,

559
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: the cyphrippis had multiple toes. So it's like a teeny

560
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 1: tiny horse with little tutsis cool.

561
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, I'll bet that's I'll bet that's helpful for walking.

562
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 5: You have a little more control, grip, et cetera. You're

563
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 5: not just on a stub that has to be one thing.

564
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a it's a trade off, right, like

565
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: you are sort of The hoof has some great properties

566
00:34:56,160 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 1: in terms of like sort of suspension, weight distribution, things

567
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,960
Speaker 1: like that toughness of the feet and the fact that

568
00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 1: this thing like continually the horse hoof like sort of

569
00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:13,239
Speaker 1: continually grows and makes it very tough, and so a

570
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:18,240
Speaker 1: horse can in a wild horse can sort of trample

571
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: over rough terrain and like shoes, you know, natural shoes

572
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: growing shoes. The reason we actually have to shoe horses

573
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 1: that are domesticated is because they are on harder surfaces,

574
00:35:32,320 --> 00:35:35,759
Speaker 1: so like streets, cobblestone, things like that, any kind of

575
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 1: like paved thing is going to be too hard on

576
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,360
Speaker 1: the hoofs and will wear them down too quickly. But

577
00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:45,760
Speaker 1: wild horses are on softer terrain, but still having those

578
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:49,640
Speaker 1: like hooves does protect their feet and legs from the

579
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:52,959
Speaker 1: stress of like galloping and running, and they don't really

580
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:56,799
Speaker 1: need the other toes for things like they don't use

581
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: them for other things. So that is why generally speaking,

582
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 1: like you'd have something like a hoof form, but for

583
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 1: this little, tiny, light animal, it doesn't necessarily need the

584
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 1: hoof structure so much to like you know, offer that

585
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 1: cushioning that protection as it's like running, and the toes

586
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 1: might be useful for something like digging things up. In fact,

587
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 1: like some ungulates, not all ungulates have like horse hoofs.

588
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:27,400
Speaker 1: Some are like have multiple toes, and some have things

589
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: like cup shaved hooves, like caribou or reindeer have these

590
00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,759
Speaker 1: like cup shaped hooves oh that can actually like dig

591
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 1: up vegetation. So yeah, they're all sorts of interesting hoof structures.

592
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 1: But yeah, the first the first horse ancestor genus, like

593
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 1: they had multiple toes, they didn't had not yet had

594
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: those all fused into that one hoof.

595
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 5: Wow, that's also interesting. I didn't know much of any

596
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 5: of that, especially like cup shaped hoofs. That's great. Yeah,

597
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 5: that seems very.

598
00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,279
Speaker 1: Handy, very very handy hoofy uh.

599
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 5: Oh right, I'm so human centric, like those are probably

600
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:11,720
Speaker 5: bad and hands are the best, is my pet.

601
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 1: Interestingly, scientists are looking at how the cypripis responded to

602
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 1: climate change to predict how species might be impacted during

603
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 1: our current anthropogenic climate change. So in the past there's

604
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: been climate change, right, like natural climate change. Currently, the

605
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:34,480
Speaker 1: climate change we're experiencing is increasing at a rate unprecedented,

606
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,759
Speaker 1: and it's anthropogenic caused, human cause. Like there's a bunch

607
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 1: of research on this. So like when people were like, oh, well,

608
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: you know there's been climate change in the past, like

609
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:47,480
Speaker 1: it's different. But even in the past, climate change did

610
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: have a huge impact on the world. So there was

611
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 1: a period of rapid heating during the Paleocene Eocene thermal maximum,

612
00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 1: which was around fifty five million years ago, where global

613
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:04,280
Speaker 1: temperatures rose by almost twenty degrees fahrenheit or eight degrees

614
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:09,400
Speaker 1: celsius and lasted around two hundred thousand years. And the

615
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 1: paleontologists have found that this caused the Cyphripus species to

616
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:18,440
Speaker 1: get small, going from around twelve pounds to eight pounds,

617
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 1: so they started off all and when even more teacup size.

618
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: It's possible then that researchers speculate that maybe modern animals

619
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:32,759
Speaker 1: will adapt to global warming by getting smaller, if they

620
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:37,440
Speaker 1: don't just go extinct. So, yeah, like global warming today

621
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: is happening at an alarmingly fast rate. So the worry

622
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: is that it's happening too fast for animals to adapt.

623
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:49,040
Speaker 1: That is just going to like cause sort of extinctions

624
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 1: rather than you know, a more gradual natural selection. But

625
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 1: it's possible that animals will become smaller in response to

626
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,800
Speaker 1: global warming. That's not necessarily a good thing.

627
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 5: But you know, yeah, that's such a man I never

628
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 5: thought of that being a way things can go though.

629
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 5: Even that's amazing. Yeah, I guess we have these ancient

630
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 5: examples of some non human cause stuff that can be

631
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:17,320
Speaker 5: a guidance. That's amazing.

632
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean again, it's very different because this is

633
00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,360
Speaker 1: a different kind of global warming that is happening in

634
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 1: a much shorter time scale than historic periods of global warming.

635
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,880
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's it's still possible that we would see

636
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 1: there be some selection for smaller animals. It's it's hard

637
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 1: to know exactly. But anyways, let's talk about how we

638
00:39:40,320 --> 00:39:46,960
Speaker 1: could get the Zepps to whole Santas Sleigh.

639
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:51,560
Speaker 5: Also, can we can we celebrate the name zeph Come on, folks, well,

640
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 5: actually fantastic.

641
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 1: It's got the acronym of your podcast in there. S

642
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: I f R H I P p U s so sif.

643
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: Secretly and credibly fascinating. This is the horse of your podcast.

644
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:08,640
Speaker 5: That's right, I'm sitting on one every time I tape.

645
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 5: It's doing fine. It can it can handle it. Yeah,

646
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:13,760
Speaker 5: a tiny horse.

647
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:15,440
Speaker 1: It kind of like made me think of like some

648
00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,040
Speaker 1: old timey way of like writing sir, and I'm reading

649
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,360
Speaker 1: it as like some medieval like cirrippis, like you know,

650
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 1: some kind of honorific So, uh, let's say that gets

651
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: the same magical properties, same physics of the nine reindeer

652
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,920
Speaker 1: that Santa has. And remember, reindeer are real animals also

653
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:42,839
Speaker 1: known as caribou. They are quite hefty Santa's reindeer are

654
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 1: likely female because male reindeer shed their antlers in the winter,

655
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 1: while females keep their antlers during the winter and shed

656
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:54,160
Speaker 1: them in spring. So all all those prance are to answer,

657
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: they're all ladies, Okay.

658
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:00,759
Speaker 5: I Also when I was thinking about, like how this

659
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 5: sleigh is arranged, and I was thinking of eight reindeer,

660
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 5: I think I fully forgot about Rudolph.

661
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:06,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, that is.

662
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 5: Definitely the most famous one. Uh Like, I'm the one

663
00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 5: who has been through the most fully.

664
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 1: Alex the one that was denying Rudolph those reindeer games,

665
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: So direct your hate towards Alex.

666
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's four on four, man, what do you want?

667
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:24,319
Speaker 5: What are we gonna do? You can't have an odd number. Yeah,

668
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 5: And also it's eight ladies. You're a guy, that's fine,

669
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 5: but you know, we kind of have a thing.

670
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: I mean, it's interesting because Rudolph is sometimes depicted as

671
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: not having antlers, like having little nubs, so he could

672
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 1: actually be the only male.

673
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 5: Wow, right, that's yeah. Santa Santa is so he just

674
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 5: has a lot of personal decisions going on. We don't understand.

675
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 5: We're not privy to it, right, you know, how do

676
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 5: I get in that meeting.

677
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:55,640
Speaker 1: So, uh, female's weigh around two hundred pounds or ninety

678
00:41:55,760 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 1: kilograms female reindeers, so times nine range, that's like one

679
00:42:01,719 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 1: eight hundred pounds of pure reindeer. So obviously there's probably

680
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 1: more biophysics that goes into this in terms of like

681
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:14,880
Speaker 1: muscle capacity, pulling capacity, skeletal strength. I'm not gonna do

682
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 1: any of that. It's creature kringleness. We don't have time.

683
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: So how many sifrippis do we need to equal this

684
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:26,279
Speaker 1: amount of reindeer heft sifrippists are only around eight to

685
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 1: twelve pounds, so you'd need one hundred and fifty to

686
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 1: two hundred and twenty five cifrif sifrippis tiny ponies to

687
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 1: equal nine reindeer. So you would get to hear the

688
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:44,760
Speaker 1: little toe toe steps of two hundred and twenty five

689
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 1: tiny horses pulling uh, Cave Santa's sleigh or at least

690
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 1: like these were not These were like around fifty million

691
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,200
Speaker 1: years ago. Humans were not around at this time, so

692
00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,839
Speaker 1: Cave Santa would have to do some kringle to bring

693
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: this guy back.

694
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 5: That's incredible, and I guess the naming situation is fine.

695
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 5: You get to pick a lot of names. Maybe it's

696
00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 5: too many to pick, right, there's.

697
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: You know, Clarence one, Clarence two, Clarence three, Clarence.

698
00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 5: Four, the first name we pull.

699
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're all Clarences. I can't, I can't.

700
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,759
Speaker 5: Event I guess it would eventually be like NASA where

701
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:36,919
Speaker 5: they just start numbering the asteroids, you know, like there's

702
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 5: too many asteroids. Man, what are we gonna do?

703
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 1: Tiny horse?

704
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 5: Just one serial numbers?

705
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:48,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, just serial numbers on their butts, poor, poor

706
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: little horses. Maybe they don't want to Maybe they don't

707
00:43:50,719 --> 00:43:53,239
Speaker 1: want to fly creature Kringle time slay. Maybe they just

708
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,840
Speaker 1: want to hang out, chill out in grasslands and skip around.

709
00:43:57,280 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 5: Yeah. I also, I'm just realized sing how pretty that

710
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 5: herd probably is. It's it probably looks like a flack

711
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 5: of birds or something. Just that.

712
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 1: Guys, just little guys, just a little like just great,

713
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: just so cute. I would love to have a lap

714
00:44:12,719 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 1: horse like this, just had it, keep it in my lap,

715
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: feel a little baby carrots, because that's all could have

716
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: because it's so small. I do.

717
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 5: I want to see one try to pick up a

718
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 5: whole carrot and just thud.

719
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:37,920
Speaker 1: Little baby, little baby, it's so cute. I love tiny horses.

720
00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 1: I love tiny horses. Bring back like I know that

721
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: we have a bunch of like extinction projects and stuff

722
00:44:43,040 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 1: and maybe it's unethical, but I don't care. Bring back

723
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:46,000
Speaker 1: this horse.

724
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, do it? Okay, worried about it.

725
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:54,440
Speaker 1: My proposal for like government funding is come on, teddy horse,

726
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: come on.

727
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 5: Just at the the h or some huge government organization.

728
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 5: You're just poking somebody like standing behind me.

729
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:13,520
Speaker 1: So, Alex, thank you so much for joining me today.

730
00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 1: Where can the people find you?

731
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me. It's always great, And yeah,

732
00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,799
Speaker 5: I hope people enjoy my podcast Secretly Incredibly Fascinating, which

733
00:45:23,080 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 5: also should have a recent episode about Snoopy. Yeah, featuring

734
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:33,120
Speaker 5: guest Katie Golden. That's a minute and that's me, that's you. Yeah. Yeah,

735
00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:35,879
Speaker 5: but yeah, it's history and science and stories about why

736
00:45:35,960 --> 00:45:39,560
Speaker 5: something seemingly ordinary is amazing. And I'm also glad Matron's

737
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 5: pick Snoopy because you know, folks love Snoopy. And also

738
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:43,840
Speaker 5: it turns out there was a lot.

739
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:45,399
Speaker 1: More there, a lot of snoop pegs out there.

740
00:45:45,800 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

741
00:45:46,239 --> 00:45:50,400
Speaker 1: I think this show is fantastic. I highly recommend it

742
00:45:50,440 --> 00:45:52,680
Speaker 1: if you like this podcast and yeah, I've been on

743
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,480
Speaker 1: a guest on it a few times now. And yeah

744
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 1: I am on the Snoopy Snoopy Verse episode, so do

745
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: check that out. Uh, and thank you guys so much

746
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 1: for listening. If you're enjoying the show and you want

747
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,960
Speaker 1: to leave a rating or review, ay, they Hey, I

748
00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 1: would love that. I read all of them and they

749
00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:11,240
Speaker 1: make me happy.

750
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 5: And Uh.

751
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:16,960
Speaker 1: If you have an answer to this week's mystery animal,

752
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,880
Speaker 1: sound game or question or picture of your pet, you

753
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 1: can write to me at Creature feature Pod at gmail

754
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:27,319
Speaker 1: dot com. And thank you so much. Through to the

755
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: Space Cossics for their super awesome song ex Alumina. Creature

756
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:36,239
Speaker 1: features a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts like the

757
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,640
Speaker 1: one you just heard, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

758
00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:40,440
Speaker 1: or Hey guess what.

759
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 3: Wherever you listen to your favorite.

760
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:47,919
Speaker 1: Shows and people happy, Creature Criminal Times, enjoy it. See

761
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:48,880
Speaker 1: you next Wednesday.

762
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:51,760
Speaker 5: Okay,