WEBVTT - Growing Up Without My Dad 0:00:05.519 --> 0:00:08.000 All right, guys, who's dealing with the girl a Mada? 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:12.160 And you're listening to Exactly Ada production of I Heart Radio. 0:00:12.520 --> 0:00:15.720 You guys have been been heard me on Exactly a Mada. 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:18.720 You hear me every Thursday. By the way, thank you 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:20.400 for all the love and support. I love when you 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.720 guys give us a five star rating. Gang Gang Gang period. 0:00:24.120 --> 0:00:26.120 I love when you subscribe and you share with all 0:00:26.160 --> 0:00:29.480 your friends. Um, we keep getting more listeners. I am 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:32.360 so proud of the show. I am proud of my team. 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:35.400 I am proud of you guys for supporting me, for 0:00:35.479 --> 0:00:40.840 supporting this concept of being uncensored, unfiltered, just the real deal, 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:44.080 no taboos. We talk about everything over here. We talk 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.760 about immigration, and then right after that we could talk 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:49.000 about only fans, and then right after that we could 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:52.960 talk about racism, and we could talk about any single mothers. 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:56.080 We talk about everything over here, and that's why I 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.280 love this show. For that being said, today we're talking 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:02.400 about a very personal topic. They have a hell because 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:06.440 I'm a little bit too excited chili link, So I 0:01:06.520 --> 0:01:11.880 let me bring it down, all right, won't won't? Okay, 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:15.240 So today's topic, it's a very personal topic to me, 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:17.840 and I know that a lot of women and a 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.240 lot of men, and a lot of kids, and a 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:27.000 lot of mothers and some dads, we'll be able to relate. Um, 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:30.280 because it's been something that has affected my life, you know, 0:01:31.160 --> 0:01:34.600 ever since I was a little girl. Um, long story short, 0:01:34.680 --> 0:01:37.240 But before I get into it, I have to bring 0:01:37.280 --> 0:01:40.160 in my producer. You already know that he's lit. He 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.600 helps me get this show together and he always has 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.240 the best advice, the best stories. So I want to 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:49.640 bring in Alex to jump in with me on today's conversation. Alee, 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:52.800 what's up? I'm here with you Today is gonna be 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.200 a some bring moment, right Like we're gonna be talking 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:57.880 about something deep, but we were still gonna have the 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:01.120 amount of fund that we we have with almost every topic. Somehow, 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.920 I think I think you'll you'll twist it around to 0:02:03.960 --> 0:02:06.680 be something positive in a way. I pray because right 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:10.079 now I'm feeling real raggedy with what I'm about to say. Well, 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:14.760 today's topic is it's about growing up without your dad, 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.240 without growing up you know, growing up without your father, 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:20.040 without a father figure in your life, and how that 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:25.240 you know, eventually affects many of us it affects you know, kids, um, 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:28.760 it affects the family, It affects your mental health, It 0:02:28.800 --> 0:02:31.560 affects the way that you date people. It affects the 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:33.840 way that you view the opposite sex, It affects the 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:36.880 way that you see sex. It affects the way that 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:42.840 you um are you know, in society. It affects many 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.920 things in life when you don't have both parents, you know, 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:49.920 especially when you don't have the father figure, because that's 0:02:49.960 --> 0:02:53.360 one of the things that unfortunately is the most common. 0:02:53.760 --> 0:02:57.400 We always, for the most part, see single mothers. And 0:02:57.440 --> 0:03:00.840 I'm not saying my single fathers. Shoutouts. Shout out to 0:03:00.919 --> 0:03:05.120 all the single fathers, and they said, you know what, jo, 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.799 I am gonna be responsible for this kid, and this 0:03:08.880 --> 0:03:11.560 is mine. This came out of my sack, and this 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:15.280 is my responsibility. Shoutouts to you. You know, some people 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:18.440 do it because they're good parents. Some men do it because, 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:21.080 you know, unfortunately, maybe the mother passed away, or the 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:23.520 mother maybe going through a situation that she's you know, 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:26.400 mentally unstable to take care of the child or whatever. 0:03:26.440 --> 0:03:30.600 But I appreciate all those single fathers out there, all 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:34.200 those real fathers spoke. I'm being let's not trash them. 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:43.080 I mama. We always talk very highly of those great mothers, 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:45.400 but let's also show some love to those great fathers 0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.920 that are out there, that are responsible, that do the 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:50.560 homework with their kids, that take them to the hospital, 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:53.480 that are you know, a real father figure. Shout outs 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:58.360 to you, but to all y'all raggedy ass trash as 0:03:58.880 --> 0:04:06.480 non caring asked father's, Today's show is for you. Um. Yeah, 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:09.040 So alex me that in your case, I have had 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:13.920 the opportunity, um, not necessarily bonding with you personally. You know, 0:04:15.320 --> 0:04:18.480 I've seen you with your with your daughters, with your kids, 0:04:18.560 --> 0:04:20.800 the way that you are. You know, you're an amazing 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:23.840 father for what I've been able to see. Did you 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.640 grow up with your father? You know, that's a good 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:29.040 question because I too, that's something that we share amount 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:34.440 of I don't. I don't really have a relationship with 0:04:34.440 --> 0:04:37.919 my real dad. UM, same thing. He was born and 0:04:37.960 --> 0:04:40.240 he kind of just like took off. And you know, 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:41.600 one of the things that I want to bring up 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:44.320 to you is the fact that you know, UM, sometimes 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.320 you have some type of bond in the beginning and 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.800 then they disappear. In other cases, they're not even part 0:04:50.800 --> 0:04:52.719 of the pictures. That even is that worse when you 0:04:52.800 --> 0:04:54.680 have a bott and then they disappear or is it 0:04:54.680 --> 0:04:57.400 better when they're never in the picture? Man? You know, 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:02.479 I think that even just a this relationship could mean 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:07.120 something for for you as a as a child, right, 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:10.120 because you could. It'll still hurt to try to like 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:15.640 why did he leave? Right? Because abandonment issues right right? 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.080 So yeah, so that's one of the things that I 0:05:18.480 --> 0:05:21.360 think about, Like, I didn't grow up with my dad. Now, 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:25.239 my mom still made me like visit him in Puerto 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.240 Rico when I was there, kind of like get to 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:32.880 know him. And uh, even til today, I've probably hung 0:05:32.880 --> 0:05:35.360 out with him and I can count it less than 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:38.080 than three times in my life. And it's crazy, right. 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:39.720 So I hung out with him when I was down 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:42.000 there for vacation as a kid. That was it. I 0:05:42.080 --> 0:05:45.599 have pictures with him, maybe one or two pictures, which 0:05:45.640 --> 0:05:47.359 is something I want to bring up to you. Do 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:50.280 you have any type of relationship with your dad? Do 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:53.000 you have any memories, any pictures anything from your that 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:55.560 your mom could even bring up. I don't have any 0:05:55.560 --> 0:05:58.960 clear memories of my father and I when I was small. 0:05:59.320 --> 0:06:02.120 I do have pictures of him, So I know that 0:06:02.160 --> 0:06:04.880 he was there at some point. I believe he left 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:08.680 when I was like two, Um, but after that he 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:14.360 came back once I became famous. Um. Yeah, well we're 0:06:14.360 --> 0:06:16.120 gonna get to that. We're gonna get to that. We're 0:06:16.120 --> 0:06:19.560 gonna build up to that, because that's something that happens 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.640 to a lot of people in your position that have, um, 0:06:22.839 --> 0:06:25.280 a celebrity, you know. But so what you mean to 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:28.080 tell me, He's like, you do have some type of 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:31.360 resemblance of who he was, right perhaps how did your 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:34.560 mom and dad meet? Like how does that whole story 0:06:34.600 --> 0:06:37.120 come together? And and and the second part to that 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:42.480 question is was he there during her pregnancy? So my 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:46.279 mom's story, you know, of life, it is very tragic. 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:50.559 I won't get into too many details, but what I 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:57.400 will say is that I I wasn't conceived in love, right, Um. 0:06:57.440 --> 0:07:00.360 And this is something very personal that I haven't made 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:02.920 public like that. But I feel that now that I'm 0:07:02.920 --> 0:07:04.359 going to be a mother, now that I am in 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:08.480 a place of maturity, I can be open and and 0:07:09.120 --> 0:07:12.040 you know, my life is an open book. Um, but 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:14.880 I wasn't conceived in a in a space of love, 0:07:15.040 --> 0:07:17.800 you know. It was very it was in an abusive space. 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:21.520 My mom wanted to My mom actually had even paid 0:07:21.560 --> 0:07:24.560 already for the abortion and everything at the clinic. It 0:07:24.640 --> 0:07:28.680 was thanks to some the stingles. How do you see 0:07:28.720 --> 0:07:34.040 that in English hope to hope of witness. People came 0:07:34.120 --> 0:07:35.680 knocked on the door, you know how they do on 0:07:35.720 --> 0:07:39.440 Sundays or whatever, and and you know, they were preaching 0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:43.400 to her, and long story short, they ended up convincing 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:46.040 her that you know, she had to have me, and 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.440 they prevented her from going to get the abortion. And 0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:52.640 here I am, so you know, I know that it 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:56.280 was very hard for her. Um. They met, you know 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.239 in the Dominican actually they met in the Dominican Republic. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:02.800 Ended up moving to Panama, lived in Panama for ten years. 0:08:03.480 --> 0:08:05.320 And um, that was in the process when my mom 0:08:05.320 --> 0:08:07.560 you know, ended up crossing the Mexican border to get 0:08:07.600 --> 0:08:10.520 to the United States. Is you know, just finding the 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:13.400 American dream. That's why I say that sometimes we could 0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:16.200 be soldiergimental about someone but not really know what they've 0:08:16.240 --> 0:08:19.520 been through. Where the stories, you know, with the story maybe, um, 0:08:19.560 --> 0:08:21.960 and that's why she's so protective of me, and she's 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:24.320 like very like you know, and I get it. Not 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:29.120 to mention I'm the only child. Also, not to sidebar, 0:08:29.200 --> 0:08:32.960 but anyone couldn't listen to the story of your mom 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.920 crossing everything that she went through in that in our 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:37.960 past episodes that we did with your mom. So make 0:08:38.000 --> 0:08:39.800 sure you guys go check out the archive. Culture true 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.480 for sure, but I'm just giving this back story so 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:46.440 that you understand that for her, her experience with my 0:08:46.559 --> 0:08:50.600 father wasn't the most positive, right, it wasn't the most positive. 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:56.280 And however, she didn't necessarily talk bad about him to 0:08:56.440 --> 0:08:59.000 me till till later on, you know, when I grew 0:08:59.080 --> 0:09:01.360 up a little bit more. It was more of like, 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:03.680 you see, has he called you, has he looked for you? 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:05.600 Has he did it? She kind of put it on 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:08.400 me to see with my own eyes the way that 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:11.400 he was acting, because she always felt like, just because 0:09:11.440 --> 0:09:14.280 we're not together or because he was trashed to me, 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.079 doesn't mean he needs to be trashed to you, doesn't 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:18.839 mean that it's an excuse for him not to try 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:20.880 to reach out for you or look for you. Not 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:25.600 to mention that. Unfortunately, but unfortunately I look just like him, 0:09:25.679 --> 0:09:29.920 so you know, and I'm not gonna lie it's been 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:34.000 very traumatizing. I feel like I need therapy. I am 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:37.200 a grown as woman, and at this point in my life, 0:09:37.640 --> 0:09:40.400 because my father wasn't in my life, I feel that 0:09:40.440 --> 0:09:43.760 I need therapy. I need it. I need it because 0:09:44.360 --> 0:09:47.720 I have abandonment issues. Oh my god, I can't believe 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:49.199 that I'm saying this a lout because I'm supposed to 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:51.679 be a bad bite. But always a truth, you know, 0:09:52.480 --> 0:09:54.120 the baddest of them all know how to do what 0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:56.040 you're doing right now, by the way, you know it's 0:09:56.080 --> 0:09:57.360 the truth. I don't want to I don't want to 0:09:57.400 --> 0:10:00.280 sit here lie and they can preach something to not 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:04.200 my truth. I have abandonment issues because my father wasn't there. 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:07.440 I always felt like, why didn't he want me? Like 0:10:07.600 --> 0:10:09.760 what was wrong with me? Because he had two other daughters, 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:11.880 and you know, that's the love of his life, his 0:10:11.960 --> 0:10:15.480 two older daughters, but me, he never I felt like 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:18.040 he never wanted me, he never looked for me. However, 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:20.320 when he left my mother, he went to Puerto Rico 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:22.640 and ray and got a you know, a new wife 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:25.880 or whatever, and he raised three kids that weren't his 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.840 for her and took them and put them through college. 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:32.240 And he never cared for me, so I always felt like, 0:10:32.400 --> 0:10:34.400 am I not good enough? Why doesn't he want me? 0:10:34.480 --> 0:10:37.719 Did I do something wrong? It was my fault I 0:10:37.800 --> 0:10:41.079 have I hadn't have a lot of those things. Still, 0:10:41.160 --> 0:10:44.599 sometimes in my mind, I always want to be accepted 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:47.920 and that acceptance, trying to look for that acceptance, acceptance 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:51.520 for my from my father. Later on through the years, 0:10:51.600 --> 0:10:55.320 I understood how it affected my personal relationship with men 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:59.240 because I will always I always kind of look for 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.320 the men that don't want me, and I feel like 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:03.920 I have to prove myself to them so they accept me. 0:11:04.480 --> 0:11:08.800 And that made me understand these are childhood traumas that 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.599 you're carrying, And as as an adult, I'm like, you 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:14.280 don't want me? Why you have to like me? You 0:11:14.360 --> 0:11:16.199 have to like want me, want me? And it's like, 0:11:16.280 --> 0:11:18.080 what the hell is wrong with you? I have a 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:20.520 whole room full of men that I like, you know, 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:22.679 Baliando said for me, and I'm like, no, I want 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:26.040 the one that doesn't want me. And those are all traumas. 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.320 Um we we and I say we for women that 0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:32.720 may you know, connect with my story or may understand 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:36.360 where I'm coming from. We end up in abusive relationships, 0:11:36.640 --> 0:11:39.679 and abusive doesn't always have to be physical. Abusive can 0:11:39.720 --> 0:11:44.000 be you know, mental, you know the disrespect, the the 0:11:44.080 --> 0:11:49.960 mental men manip all those things. Um And that's why 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:53.520 I'm such a big advocate of like who cares if 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:56.160 you are grown, who cares you need therapy And it's 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.200 okay to go look for a professional person that can 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:02.840 help true you're those spots in your mind and solve 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:06.200 the problem. Let's not keep covering the issues with more issues, 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:09.240 because now when you have kids and you have family, 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.360 you're gonna pass that shipped onto your kids. You're gonna 0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.800 pass on those traumas, those bad habits onto your kids. 0:12:26.440 --> 0:12:30.080 They say that when you're pregnant, if you're going through 0:12:30.120 --> 0:12:32.880 it with you know, with your spouse or significant or 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:36.079 or whatever, for some reason, they end up looking just 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:40.360 like them. So to me, it's like, I really want 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:44.719 to just think happy thoughts and just love you so 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:46.839 you look like me. But you know, it is what 0:12:46.920 --> 0:12:51.520 it is. Shout out, shout out to all those great stepfathers, 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:55.640 and yes, stepfathers, I'm still gonna call you a father 0:12:56.280 --> 0:13:00.079 because it is not easy to come and step in 0:13:00.520 --> 0:13:03.719 to a situation where another man has decided not to 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:07.400 really play his role and be responsible for something that 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:10.640 he did, someone that he created. Um, it takes a 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.000 lot of It takes a lot of balls, It takes 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:15.199 a lot of guts, It takes a lot of courage, 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.000 It takes a lot of strength. It takes a lot 0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:20.559 of everything in you to raise a child that didn't 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:24.040 necessarily come out of your body. Foh, loved them like 0:13:24.240 --> 0:13:26.959 if they were to be yours. I know so many 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:30.719 great stepfathers that UM, their kids end up saying like, 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:33.079 you're not my stepfather, You're a father, Like you're everything 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:35.440 that I know. Like in my eyes, I can see 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:37.439 my father, my real father, and I'm like, who the 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:39.480 hell are you? Or like, hey, what's up? Cool? Whatever? 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:42.120 This is my dad. You know. I think there's also 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:44.960 a difference between being a dad and being a father. Um. 0:13:45.080 --> 0:13:47.280 And and also you know, and those and those firm 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:52.360 donors sometimes that'm being in life. We need those firm donors. 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:57.880 Thank you and thank you for coming. Because I believe 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.240 it or not, there's a lot of women mean that 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:04.120 after they have their children, after they are pregnant, their 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.880 whole life transforms. It may look negative at a certain 0:14:07.960 --> 0:14:11.199 point in life. But are you mature, You become stronger, 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:14.480 you become more disciplined, you become more goal oriented. You 0:14:14.640 --> 0:14:18.000 know that now someone depends off you. You know what 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:22.920 you're doing. So sometimes Mohanda, even if you're sad, depressed 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:25.400 and you're like, oh, screw him, he's trash, I get it, 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:30.600 but knows what he's doing. And sometimes you just needed 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:32.600 that sperm donor right there, because that's what we gotta 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:36.280 call him. He's just a sperm donor, and that's it, 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:39.000 you know. I don't know. I don't know, because the 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:46.040 sentimental sentimental, a woman will always be connected to their 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:48.800 child because they came out of your body, like there 0:14:48.960 --> 0:14:52.480 they went. Uncle. Not every not every woman is meant 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:54.280 to be a mother. I know some women that are 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:57.640 trash fash moms, Like just because you have a vagina 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:01.320 doesn't mean ga it was you know, they were meant 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:04.320 to have kids because you're trash. I'll give you. I'll 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:07.520 definitely say that. And there's some women, Okay, you can 0:15:07.640 --> 0:15:10.960 tell she was born to be nurturing, she was born 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:14.000 to be a mother. This is her thing, that's it. 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:18.160 But I don't understand how some men could just be like, 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:22.240 look at this small, little, tiny little human being. They 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:25.440 came out of your balls and her vagina and be like, 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:29.240 this baby looks like me. It's gonna talk, it's gonna 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:31.560 breathe and everything, and I'm just gonna leave it, like what, 0:15:31.680 --> 0:15:33.880 don me take care? Let me know, you know, I'll 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:35.800 see you later in life. And then you go to 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:37.960 some another woman and then do it again and then 0:15:38.040 --> 0:15:41.000 goes and then do it again and then doll, what 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.160 do you think this is? Pull out? Game is weak? 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:45.560 Y'all need to get it together. If you don't want 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:48.200 to be a father, if you don't want that responsibility, 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:53.680 wrap that dick up, wrap that ship up, bongas con done, 0:15:53.920 --> 0:15:56.280 night gone. Don get a garbage back, stretch it out 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:58.200 like back in the days to wrap it up. No 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.280 I don't, don't get something else should jerk it off? Nine? 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:03.760 Oh yeah. If you're not ready to be a father, 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:08.240 then be more conscious when you're having sexual activities and 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:11.120 not just that. Don't do it just because your horny. 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:14.440 You know, also thinking, and that's another thing when when 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:18.120 you're older you start maturing and understanding. But you can 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:21.400 just mash every girl that it's fine that you see 0:16:21.760 --> 0:16:24.200 because what about it she ends up pregnant. Let's just 0:16:24.280 --> 0:16:28.120 say that scenario, the condom broke, something happened. Now you're 0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:30.640 stuck with this person for the rest of your life. 0:16:31.080 --> 0:16:32.760 I know that you were hot in the moment. I 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:35.960 know that you're you don't know how that one little 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:38.200 because you might not be that great of a fun 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.680 Let's just say you were there smashing for the next 0:16:41.840 --> 0:16:44.600 two or three or four minutes, and that little nut 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:49.880 can change the whole your whole path. It changes her life, 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:54.720 It changes your family's life, your goals, your responsibility, your job, 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:57.960 with the things that you're planning on doing, that child's life, 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:02.040 the traumas you'll create, the it's a whole line. It's 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:06.040 a domino effect, and it's and it's and it's Another 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.960 thing is um it should be the responsibility of both 0:17:09.040 --> 0:17:12.840 parties to understand that something could happen and both have 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:16.280 to take precautions, right, Like you can't just go into 0:17:16.359 --> 0:17:18.240 it right And a lot of people you know, like 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:20.800 like I know that sometimes and a lot of the 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:22.840 time it is the guy like, hey, I'm okay, my 0:17:22.920 --> 0:17:26.240 poll out game is excellent. Right at the same time, 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:30.600 at the same time, like, dude, you gotta like, you know, 0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:35.040 understand that your partner UM has to understand that they 0:17:35.280 --> 0:17:39.600 two should take some type of of UH caution in 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:42.280 what's happening. But you make some really great points. And 0:17:42.440 --> 0:17:44.520 let me tell you something, guys. One of my favorite 0:17:44.560 --> 0:17:47.119 things here is when you get Amata going and Amata 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:50.399 turns into ranting Amata and she starts with that, let 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:54.320 me tell you what the snap? You know something's about 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:56.960 to go down about what I'm saying? What about like 0:17:57.119 --> 0:17:59.000 pails for men? You know how they have birth control 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:01.879 for women? They do from what I hear, they have 0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:04.399 some type of like they're working on it still. I 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:07.119 mean we're in almost two and you're thinking that they 0:18:07.160 --> 0:18:10.200 would have this UM planned out for us guys, But no, 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:13.320 like I think the safest method for a guy and 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:16.439 UM again, we're kind of like educating everyone here who 0:18:16.520 --> 0:18:19.120 wants to not be a dad right away or whatever 0:18:19.160 --> 0:18:22.199 the case, maybe already has kids of a sectomy UH 0:18:22.440 --> 0:18:25.199 is the supposedly the safest well and it's reversible, right, 0:18:25.280 --> 0:18:27.800 so a guy can go get the procedure which is 0:18:27.840 --> 0:18:29.399 like an hour and you're done. You never have to 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:33.760 go under anesthesia. They just numb you, snip, you close 0:18:33.800 --> 0:18:36.000 you back up with glue and you're and you're out 0:18:36.040 --> 0:18:39.560 of there. Yeah, So that's how easy it is for 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:42.480 a guy. And then you can go back and undo it. 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:46.040 But girls, your parents have the rights also, you know, 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:49.359 with your quote unquote consent. But you know how that works. 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:54.080 They take you to on a clinic t you know, 0:18:54.280 --> 0:18:57.800 the tea or whatever a whatever birth control system and 0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:00.280 then they, you know, make sure that you're not going 0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:02.679 to be pregnant. Why don't they do that with men 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:07.240 if it's something that is the norm, right, because it's 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:09.960 not normal. But if it was the norm and it's 0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:12.840 something that you can do and you would be willing 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:16.359 to do, then why not. But I think the number 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:20.360 one thing that you can do for both male and female, 0:19:20.920 --> 0:19:25.719 whether you're gay, straight, or whatever, is teach um safe 0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:30.919 sexual practices, right uh, you know, basically wrapping it up 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:32.919 like you said. And we we go through this in school, 0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:35.360 like we know, like we we learned this, not really 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:38.919 because I never learned how to put a condom on. Really, 0:19:39.400 --> 0:19:41.760 that's crazy. In my school, they taught us like they 0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:46.080 were very specific. In seventh grade, I remember this like, hey, 0:19:46.400 --> 0:19:49.119 these are condoms. This is how you properly put on. 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:51.920 They showed us about the condoms, but mean was about it. 0:19:52.040 --> 0:19:54.360 You learned it from the pornals. You see the thing 0:19:54.440 --> 0:19:56.199 and you're like, okay, so I have think the thing 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:59.920 and put it. But I don't know if it's side. 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:02.720 Any signs matter. We don't just stick the thing. I 0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:05.479 also think it's important if you're gonna wrap it up. 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:09.520 Here's another suggestions of mine. When you put on your 0:20:09.560 --> 0:20:14.960 colmdom still pull out, still pull out, listen to me, 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:17.680 welcome to him, that his church. If you're gonna go 0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:19.920 over there or stick it to me, ah, and you're 0:20:20.040 --> 0:20:23.440 ready for it, You're you're gonna bust it, pull it out, 0:20:24.000 --> 0:20:28.080 even if you have a condom, because who think I 0:20:28.160 --> 0:20:32.400 see a little tiny split opens, She's opened like a tunnel. 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:38.719 You're gonna find out in a month, so let's be careful. Okay. Awesome. Um. 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:42.440 It also affects women's body. And this is another conversation 0:20:42.520 --> 0:20:45.960 we've spoken about, you know, pro choice, you know, pro life. 0:20:46.119 --> 0:20:48.240 We've spoken about this, and I feel this is like 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:53.080 an endless ever acting going on topic fatto, everlasting topic fatto. 0:20:53.800 --> 0:20:58.600 It's another thing. She doesn't have the same choices. Perhaps 0:20:58.840 --> 0:21:01.560 then maybe men do so a lot of times it's like, oh, 0:21:01.680 --> 0:21:05.040 well you got pregnant, yeah, and now she stuck. You know, 0:21:05.480 --> 0:21:07.840 it sounds terrible, But if she didn't want to after 0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:11.520 a certain amount of weeks, yeah, I didn't even know 0:21:11.560 --> 0:21:13.960 that I was pregnant. I was like two months and 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:16.960 some change, and I still you could barely still tell 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:19.000 my stomach. So for a lot of women, and a 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:21.080 lot of young women, they don't even find out so 0:21:21.280 --> 0:21:24.639 later on and now it has become their responsibility because 0:21:24.760 --> 0:21:27.159 you don't want to be responsible for it. Now she 0:21:27.400 --> 0:21:30.520 has to change her whole life. And and not only 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:34.160 because what's coming after, but the changes your body does, 0:21:34.520 --> 0:21:37.640 and not only the part of being pregnant giving birth. 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:41.200 Do you know the risk that women go through giving birth? 0:21:41.320 --> 0:21:43.480 A lot of them die? And and I feel like 0:21:43.800 --> 0:21:45.840 guys think that this is a joke because it doesn't 0:21:45.880 --> 0:21:48.280 happen to your ass, It doesn't happen to your balls, 0:21:48.359 --> 0:21:54.560 nothing happens to you. You're fine, grande. So I feel 0:21:54.600 --> 0:21:58.639 like we have to be more responsible overall as adults, 0:21:59.080 --> 0:22:03.199 as set true beings, as sexual partners. Once we get 0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:06.600 into the space of we're having sex, understanding of the 0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:11.119