1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,359 Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Elia Connie, host of The Family Therapy Podcast, 2 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:08,560 Speaker 1: a Black Effect original series where each week, real families 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: with real lives, have real conversations. In celebration of BIPOC 4 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 1: Mental Health Awareness Month, we're inviting you to participate in 5 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:22,240 Speaker 1: your own live session. Join me live on Black Effects 6 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: Instagram on Wednesday, July seventeenth. We're doing this event to 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 1: highlight the importance of mental health within BIPOC communities and 8 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,199 Speaker 1: to provide a space where you can share your experiences 9 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: and receive guidance. Attendees can expect a safe and supportive 10 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:44,840 Speaker 1: environment where we'll engage in open, honest conversations. Whether you're 11 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: facing personal challenges or seeking to strengthen family bonds, this 12 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:53,239 Speaker 1: event is for you. Please note participation is on a 13 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: first come, first serve basis, so be sure to arrive 14 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: early and engage respectfully. If you're interested in joining a 15 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: guided conversation with me, send a direct message or DM 16 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: to The Black Effect and confirm your participation. I think 17 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: what people should expect from therapy is healing and change. However, 18 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: I think what people often go into therapy expecting is education. So, 19 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:30,440 Speaker 1: for example, if I have a behavior in my life, 20 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: and let's just say addiction. We go to therapy because 21 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,680 Speaker 1: I'd like to find out why I engage in this 22 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: addiction activity. But the truth is, knowing why something exists 23 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: does not do anything to help create healing or change. 24 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: A healing journey that leads towards change is very different 25 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 1: than simply trying to figure out why something happens. So 26 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,040 Speaker 1: what should people expect when they go into therapy? Healing 27 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: from difficult things that have happened in our lives, past traumas, relationships, ending, 28 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: grief and loss issues or whatever, and the type of 29 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: healing that will lead towards change, but not just any change, 30 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:17,079 Speaker 1: but the kinds of change that will help us to 31 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: create our desired life. Welcome back to Family Therapy. I'm 32 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: your host, Elliot Khani, and as usual, I'm going to 33 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,960 Speaker 1: start off by asking you a question that will help 34 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: shift your focus from the difficulties of life to the 35 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: pleasures of life, which is exactly the journey that I 36 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: like to take my clients on, including the family featured 37 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: in this podcast. So I'd like you to think about 38 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:56,920 Speaker 1: what's been better since you listened to the previous episode. So, 39 00:02:57,040 --> 00:03:00,560 Speaker 1: what are some symptoms of depression? And how can we 40 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:07,000 Speaker 1: combat them. The most common symptom of depression is when 41 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,799 Speaker 1: things you previously have had an interest in no longer 42 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: sound interesting and you no longer engage in them. I think, 43 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: looking back on my childhood, the first sign that depression 44 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: was showing up. I was about ten years old and 45 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: I loved going to movies, absolutely loved it. And my father, 46 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:31,480 Speaker 1: who lived away from the home. I lived in the 47 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: house with my mother and two brothers. My father, who 48 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: also looking back, I realized was the root of my depression, 49 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: was coming to get my brothers and I. Who's going 50 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: to take us to a movie? And I don't remember 51 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: the movie, but I remember it was a kind of 52 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: movie I would have wanted to see. And like I said, 53 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,400 Speaker 1: I as a young kid, I loved watching movies, but 54 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: I didn't want to go, and I told my brothers 55 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: I don't feel like going. I told my father I 56 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: don't feel like going. He left me there alone in 57 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,280 Speaker 1: the house, and I just laid on the can out 58 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: doing nothing in my state of depression. That is probably 59 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,120 Speaker 1: the single most common symptom that shows up when you 60 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: are struggling with depression, When there is an activity that 61 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 1: you otherwise would have enjoyed, but now you don't want to. 62 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: So how do we combat that? I want to be 63 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 1: very very clear about this. Depression does not like activity, 64 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,920 Speaker 1: So how do we combat that. There are two things 65 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: that are very effective towards combating the symptoms of depression. 66 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:34,960 Speaker 1: Number one, don't not go to the activities that you 67 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: would have otherwise enjoyed because you don't feel like going, 68 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,719 Speaker 1: go because you know you need it. Looking back, I 69 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,359 Speaker 1: wish I had gone to that movie. I wish my 70 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:51,280 Speaker 1: siblings or parents had made me go. Because depression does 71 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: not like activity. So even though you might be sitting 72 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: at the house and a friend will call and say, hey, 73 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 1: we're all going to meet it Applebee's. You want to 74 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 1: come join us, and you might be thinking, I don't 75 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: even feel like going, but you need to go because 76 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:08,040 Speaker 1: that actually begins to subside the symptoms of depression, because 77 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,760 Speaker 1: depression does not like activity. The other thing that we 78 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: should do to combat depression is exercise. Exercise releases natural 79 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: endorphins in your body, in particular cardiovascular exercise. There's a 80 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: lot of research that says if you can do twenty 81 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 1: minutes of cardiovascular exercise three times a week, it will 82 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 1: significantly reduce your experience of anxiety and depression, because anxiety 83 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 1: and depression don't like activity, they don't like movement, and 84 00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,960 Speaker 1: your body really likes movement and really really likes activity. 85 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,600 Speaker 1: So when you get out and you run again, in 86 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: particular cardiovascular exercise, and you start moving around, your body 87 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: releases dopamine, nor epinephrin, serotonin, all of those real good 88 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 1: chemicals in your body, all of those feel good chemicals 89 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: in your body. Your body starts to release them and 90 00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:04,920 Speaker 1: you start to feel good. And this is a really 91 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:07,599 Speaker 1: important thing because obviously, if you're depressed because of some 92 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: sort of circumstance that's going on in your life, just 93 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: because you went on a twenty minute run, it doesn't 94 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,160 Speaker 1: make that circumstance go away, but it makes you more 95 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 1: resilient to deal with it because you're dealing with it 96 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 1: without the symptoms of depression being present. So those two 97 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:24,560 Speaker 1: things I want everybody to hear. When you're feeling symptoms 98 00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: of depression, it's usually going to take away your desire 99 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: to do things you would otherwise have enjoyed doing. Make 100 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 1: sure you stay engaged in those things. Make sure you 101 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,359 Speaker 1: stay engaged with the people that you like and introduce 102 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 1: exercise into your routine. I think very often we hold 103 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: exercise only for like weight loss journeys, or only for 104 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 1: my doctor said I've got a heart issue, so I've 105 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,200 Speaker 1: got to walk ten thousand steps a day or whatever. 106 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:55,479 Speaker 1: But exercise is actually one of the greatest weapons to 107 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,680 Speaker 1: address mental health issues. It's one of the best things 108 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: you can do for your brain and for you your 109 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 1: mental health. And you should introduce exercise into your lifestyle 110 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 1: simply for the mental health benefits. Taking a responsibility for 111 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 1: your mistakes shows maturity and a willingness to change. This 112 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,679 Speaker 1: accountability brings Freddy one step closer to the life he wants, 113 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: but he lacks the discipline to stay persistent. This week's 114 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 1: session highlights a conversation with Freddie after making his first 115 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: attempts to contact his estranged son. Although his son was 116 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: not interested in speaking with him, Freddie shares what he 117 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:38,360 Speaker 1: learned from his efforts. Freddie, what's been better since we 118 00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: last met? 119 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 2: I think basically the same and made it change it though, And. 120 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:52,960 Speaker 1: All right, so the last time we talked, we talked 121 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: about calling your your kids and specifically and particularly your son, 122 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 1: and how important it was to do that regardless of 123 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: the kind of response you might get from him. 124 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 2: Actually, I did call him and he said that. He said, 125 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 2: he said, who is this? 126 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: Uh well no, wait, wait, wait wait, can I stop 127 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: you real quick? 128 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 2: Sure? 129 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:23,400 Speaker 1: Okay, this is really big. What day did you call him? Oh? 130 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 2: I called him it right after the session. Yeah, because 131 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,960 Speaker 2: I was already hyped up. So I called him right 132 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:33,600 Speaker 2: after the session. 133 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:37,280 Speaker 1: Okay, when did you realize that you were hyped up 134 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 1: enough to call him? So we had that conversation, and 135 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:42,160 Speaker 1: when did it hit you like, all right, I'm ready. 136 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 1: I've been nervous to do this. I've been scared to 137 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:46,560 Speaker 1: do this, I've been after himptive to do this. But 138 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: I'm hyped up enough to do this. When did you 139 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: realize that? 140 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:55,559 Speaker 2: Well? I came to the conclusion that whatever his response 141 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,719 Speaker 2: would be, I should be mad enough to him, you 142 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,400 Speaker 2: know what I mean. And I think I built myself 143 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 2: up to three or four different scenarios. You know, Tom 144 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,839 Speaker 2: was Tom was good, and uh three of them was bad. 145 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,199 Speaker 2: So I was I was kind of like, Okay, whatever 146 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 2: whatever happens happens, I just have to make the best 147 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 2: of it. Or or if he has a real negative response, 148 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 2: you know, I said, I call you better when you uh, 149 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:26,560 Speaker 2: when when you're feeling better, you get a better chance. 150 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 2: So actually we didn't even talk like he said he said, uh, 151 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:32,800 Speaker 2: he acts like he didn't know what number. 152 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 1: It was? 153 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 2: Said, he said, who is this? I said this pop? 154 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,920 Speaker 2: He's all right, I gotta go, and he said he 155 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 2: hung up. So I was I was like, okay, that's 156 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 2: that's a that's a good response. He wasn't uh disrespectful, 157 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 2: he was you know, it wasn't you know they want 158 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,959 Speaker 2: to talk at that time or you know what I mean. 159 00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 2: He it is like just brush it up. I said, Okay, 160 00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 2: I said, okay, but I call you so I probably 161 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 2: do that sometime this weekend. 162 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 1: Okay, what was it like for you? Like when you 163 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:09,480 Speaker 1: were calling him and the phone was ringing? What was 164 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,080 Speaker 1: that like for you? 165 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:15,079 Speaker 2: Oh? And the anticipation was like, uh, I had a 166 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,800 Speaker 2: little sweat in my nose. That's that was about it. 167 00:10:19,679 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 2: My forehead was a sweat. This is a little sweat 168 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 2: of my nose. 169 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 1: And I heard What was it like when you heard 170 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:26,480 Speaker 1: his voice? 171 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:31,040 Speaker 2: I got and I got a nice little chill, I 172 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 2: got a warm feel and I was like, okay, okay, 173 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 2: So then I see he goes like, he said, who's this? 174 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,000 Speaker 2: I said, this is Pop? Like like heah, you know, 175 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,560 Speaker 2: don't know my number? You know what I mean? Like 176 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,360 Speaker 2: they down in this Uh well, you know I called 177 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,200 Speaker 2: him a couple of times. Ray. I don't know if 178 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 2: he logged it into his phone or not, but he said, 179 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 2: I said this was Pop. He said He's like, Okay, 180 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 2: I gotta go somewhere. I said, I talked to you 181 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 2: later and he said bye. 182 00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 1: That was it, okay, So there was no he didn't 183 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,719 Speaker 1: cuss you out. He did and yell at you and 184 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: didn't call you names. He simply said, who is this this? 185 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 2: Pop? 186 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,440 Speaker 1: Okay, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later. That 187 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: that's what happened exactly where okay? And what difference does 188 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 1: it make to you to know it didn't go super badly? 189 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:23,800 Speaker 2: Uh? A tremendous Uh. It was like I said, I said, Well, 190 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 2: I was relieved because he didn't, you know, like I said, hey, 191 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 2: go off the off the chain. So that was a 192 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:34,320 Speaker 2: good thing. Uh. I was tad annoyed that he didn't 193 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 2: want to talk. So that's understand that. You know, you know, 194 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 2: the grabs the other conversation could have gotten you know, crazy, 195 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 2: maybe he needed more time to so I figured maybe 196 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 2: next time I call me, might you know, might sit 197 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 2: down and have a conversation with you. 198 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:52,880 Speaker 1: M hm. And what difference does it make for you 199 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: to know that, like I've gotten over that hump, I've 200 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:57,840 Speaker 1: I've gotten over there? 201 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,199 Speaker 2: It was? It was It was a tremendous relief, I 202 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 2: tell you, because uh, you know, you always expect the 203 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 2: worst and pray for the for the best, you know 204 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:13,439 Speaker 2: what I mean. Uh, it was it was a relief, 205 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 2: you know what I mean that he you know crazy 206 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 2: know you know, sorry personal, So I think that was 207 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 2: you know, it was a tremendous least on me, you 208 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,360 Speaker 2: know what I mean. I was like, you know, it 209 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 2: came up to tie, you know what I mean. So 210 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,600 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, you know it's it's a breakup point, 211 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 2: I think, you know what I mean. 212 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:45,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, gotcha, gotcha? And you know him, what difference do 213 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:49,960 Speaker 1: you think it makes to him that you called him? 214 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:55,239 Speaker 1: What is it I say to him that you called him? 215 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 2: Well, I believe that, you know, I I believe deep 216 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 2: down the side, you know, he missed me, you know 217 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 2: what I mean, because like, uh we was like road dogs, 218 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 2: you know, what I mean, Uh, I think that you know, 219 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,199 Speaker 2: this will have you know, and I heard that he 220 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 2: had a situation with his son and he wasn't communicating 221 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 2: with his son on the steady basis. Now they communicate 222 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 2: communicating it now, So I think that kind of like 223 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,439 Speaker 2: you know, broke the ice a little bit more too, 224 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, because like he was, he 225 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 2: was extremely upset with his son, so like, uh I 226 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 2: think it kind of like mailed him down a little bit, 227 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,520 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, Like if he you know, 228 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,679 Speaker 2: he forgave his son, so you know, he used to 229 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,000 Speaker 2: forgive me too, you know what I mean. You know, 230 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,280 Speaker 2: I don't think the gravity of well, you know, I 231 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:53,360 Speaker 2: can't really compare the gravity of both situations because they different, 232 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 2: you know, but they still like in a forgiveness state, 233 00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,439 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. 234 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: So, Freddie, I am trying to think how to say this, 235 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:12,439 Speaker 1: Like my job is about progress and change and I'm 236 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 1: so amazing, Like I don't know where this is going. 237 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,400 Speaker 1: I can't tell you what the end result will be, 238 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 1: but I'm so happy and like proud of you and 239 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: like it's such a good sign that you took this 240 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 1: first step because I don't know where the destination is, 241 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: but I know in order to get there, we got 242 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 1: to take this first step. I know, I know it 243 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: was hard. I know it made your nose sweat. But man, 244 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: this is such an important first step. How do you 245 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: know you can take the second step? What do you 246 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 1: how how do you know you can you can do 247 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:02,000 Speaker 1: it again? 248 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 2: Well, it seemed like you know, once you you you 249 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 2: take that first leap, you know what I mean, the 250 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 2: forward progress is already in motion. So you you you 251 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:20,280 Speaker 2: gotta keep going forward, you know what I mean? Uh, 252 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 2: I believe that no matter what the outcome gonna be, 253 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 2: I'm gonna keep trying and trying and trying. So uh, 254 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 2: if if I it's not fairy about the first time, 255 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:33,160 Speaker 2: then it might be fairboter the third time. It's not 256 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: the third time, that's gonna be the fourth time. You know, 257 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 2: I'm gonna break them down, you know what I mean. 258 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 2: Sooner or later, you know I'm gonna break them down. Man, 259 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 2: you know, because like you know, the world survived by family, 260 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? You know, the existence of 261 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 2: life is family, you know what I mean. And you 262 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 2: don't got you know, you don't have Uh, you're not 263 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 2: in front with your family. It's a broken vessel, you 264 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 2: know what I mean, You're roping vessel. So, uh, why 265 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 2: that statement I'm saying, like, you know, I'm never gonna 266 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 2: give in. I'm never gonna give up. So no matter 267 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:17,000 Speaker 2: how it comes, even if he's respect disrespectful, cursing, aby 268 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:20,200 Speaker 2: or whatever, it's something, it's a conversation, you know what 269 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 2: I mean. I said, Okay, we had a conversation. You know, 270 00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,920 Speaker 2: we got to that point, you know what I mean. 271 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,320 Speaker 2: So the next point, he ain't gonna keep cursing and 272 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,480 Speaker 2: cursing and cursing sooner, Len say, well, dang, you know, 273 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,200 Speaker 2: Pop Pop keep pushing and keep pushing, so he's gonna 274 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 2: give in, you know what I mean. You don't have 275 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 2: to give in. You know. 276 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: Do you think do you think he knows that he's 277 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:47,880 Speaker 1: got a father that has like decided like, I'm just 278 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 1: not gonna give up. I'm gonna keep pushing. I'm not 279 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: gonna give in. Does he know he's got a father 280 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:54,200 Speaker 1: that's willing to do that for him? Now, I'm not 281 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: I'm not sure he knows that. 282 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 2: Well. I think that the lack of uh between uh, 283 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 2: the situation when we have it was it was months, 284 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And I think I kind 285 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:14,920 Speaker 2: of messed up by not trying earlier, you know, by 286 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,440 Speaker 2: not letting, by letting so much time elapsed, you know 287 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,199 Speaker 2: what I mean. So, and I think he was like, 288 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 2: well if he you know, if you don't care because 289 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 2: he ain't tried, you know what I mean. So I 290 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 2: think now that I tried, and I'm pushing an issue now, uh, 291 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 2: let's get him a different Uh. I look on the picture, 292 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:34,840 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? 293 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: Where did this piece of you come from? Where you 294 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 1: were like, I'm not going to give up? Like when 295 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: did that set in that I'm going to be the 296 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 1: version of Freddy that's like I'm not giving up. I'm 297 00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,919 Speaker 1: going to keep pushing. Where did that come from? 298 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 2: Well? I think it comes from me dealing with all 299 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 2: of my kids, you know what I mean. And I 300 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,840 Speaker 2: think that if a shepherd is heard in his sheep 301 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 2: and one is one to get lost, he gonna leave 302 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:04,240 Speaker 2: all the other sheep to go look for the lost sheep, 303 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,880 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. In fact, you know that's 304 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,399 Speaker 2: how I feel, you know what I mean. Uh, I 305 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 2: just feel like that's the important one because that one 306 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 2: is lost, you know, what I mean, So I put 307 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 2: more emphasis on on the lost sheep than I do 308 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,200 Speaker 2: with the whole herd. 309 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 1: But when did that set in? Freddie? Like, when did you? 310 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: When did that hit you that, like I'm ready to 311 00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,680 Speaker 1: focus on this lost sheep, I gotta get I gotta 312 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: get the whole herd together. When did that set in? 313 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,760 Speaker 2: I think because I was I was at Jake House 314 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:42,160 Speaker 2: last weekend, and and I was playing with my grandkids, 315 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:45,520 Speaker 2: and you know, and my grandson he looks so much, 316 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,600 Speaker 2: he's a split spin image of you know what I 317 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 2: mean when the chicken was so because every time I 318 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 2: was playing with me, the only thing my mind was saying, 319 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:57,399 Speaker 2: so much like this looks so much like this was little, 320 00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,639 Speaker 2: you know. And then I think that kind of like 321 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:05,399 Speaker 2: a set a tone for me to relinquish any feelings 322 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 2: that I might have far as like not put forth 323 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,879 Speaker 2: a stronger effort to renite renite being him together. You know, m. 324 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,200 Speaker 1: How do you think it's going to impractice his life 325 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:21,240 Speaker 1: when he realizes my dad's trying, and he's trying in 326 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: a like I'm not going to give up. Way, I'm 327 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: going to keep going until this until I break this down. Way? 328 00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,320 Speaker 1: How do you think that's going to make a difference 329 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,359 Speaker 1: into his life to realize his father is given it 330 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,960 Speaker 1: that level of effort. 331 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 2: Well, I believe that we're all as you know, as 332 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,760 Speaker 2: as human beings, got to you know, have always looked 333 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 2: looked up to our father no matter what, you know 334 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:47,960 Speaker 2: what I mean, and like, it wasn't too many disappointments 335 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 2: in my life, you know far as my father. But 336 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 2: I had one really serious disappointment. My father gave me 337 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:57,280 Speaker 2: a nineteen sixty nine CATDLLEC when I was high school, 338 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,159 Speaker 2: and it was all pimped out against the wh It 339 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 2: was the whole nine right. So it broke down like 340 00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,639 Speaker 2: after this four or five months, so I stayed at 341 00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,440 Speaker 2: the driveway. So I came home for school one day 342 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 2: and it was gone. I said, the pop with a car. 343 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 2: So I put it in a shop for you. I said, 344 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 2: I cool, thanks, like thanks thanks, So you know when 345 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 2: got it. A couple of months later, it broke down again. 346 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 2: It stayed in the driveway about two or three weeks. 347 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:23,399 Speaker 2: So I came home again and it was gone. So 348 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 2: my first assumption that he put in a shot for me, 349 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,280 Speaker 2: So I said, pop with a car? He said, he 350 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 2: said son. There's one thing to have a car, and 351 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,159 Speaker 2: there's another thing to be able to afford one. And 352 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,320 Speaker 2: he had sold a car on me, and that kind 353 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 2: of like deva you know at the time. But at 354 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 2: the time, like you know, I wasn't working, you know, 355 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 2: you know, anything like that. But I realized emphasis he 356 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 2: was trying to, you know, put on me, you know 357 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 2: what I mean. Uh, And then you know, he sold 358 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 2: a car, and like I guess, I don't know, maybe 359 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:58,600 Speaker 2: three or four months later, he gave me another car. Hey, 360 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:01,840 Speaker 2: he gave me, uh, he gave me a nineteen seventy 361 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 2: to brew uh, the Saber convertible with a four fifty 362 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,920 Speaker 2: five him me in it. Oh it was white on white. Uh. 363 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,800 Speaker 2: One thing about my pops, he would get a car 364 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:16,240 Speaker 2: and do it inside and out, you know what I mean. 365 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,480 Speaker 2: So everywhere I went with that car, somebody offered to 366 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:22,400 Speaker 2: buy it from, you know. So I guess that kind 367 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 2: of like that's what I'm saying, Like to me, my 368 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 2: father was my hero because like you know, it was 369 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,080 Speaker 2: the guy that I always looked up to, no matter what, 370 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,159 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And and I was and 371 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,199 Speaker 2: I was like I was a bad kid man when 372 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,879 Speaker 2: I go look at back at my you know how 373 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,119 Speaker 2: I grew up. I was a bad kid, you know, 374 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 2: as far as like I was always fighting in school. 375 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:44,200 Speaker 2: My parents always coming was coming to school to uh 376 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 2: get me cause I was always fighting. It was this 377 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 2: guy named mister he was a tune officer back to that. 378 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 2: Back then they had tune officers. And he was like 379 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,560 Speaker 2: six four maybe three hundred pounds and black as I 380 00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 2: don't know what, and and he's my parents should take 381 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 2: to mister bradfit right, And he suspeked me, you know 382 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 2: what I mean. And the first time he had he 383 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,920 Speaker 2: had this big old paddle and he and he popped 384 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,960 Speaker 2: me with it. And I ain't cry. He popped me. 385 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 2: Gain ain't crist so you ain't gonna cry. So he 386 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 2: popped me, little heart. I started crying, right. 387 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:19,840 Speaker 1: Man, you know. 388 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:24,080 Speaker 2: And I think, like the things that you know, you 389 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 2: experience in life, you know, you you you gravitate to 390 00:22:28,119 --> 00:22:32,359 Speaker 2: him when you get older and you realize, wow, the 391 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 2: purpose of it was for your own good, you know 392 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 2: what I mean? And like because I was, I was, 393 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,959 Speaker 2: I was bad, man, you know, looking back, I was, 394 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:43,640 Speaker 2: I was. I was bad, you know, And no matter 395 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 2: how bad I was my parents still love me, you 396 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,600 Speaker 2: know what I mean. And and I think once I 397 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:55,320 Speaker 2: got through that few years of rebellion as far as 398 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 2: like being violent and all that kind of stuff, Uh, 399 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,680 Speaker 2: that's when I kind of like, I think, that's when 400 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 2: I met their mother, you know what I mean. Uh, 401 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 2: And she kind of like mellowed me down a little bit, 402 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,240 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, because like we're starting the family, 403 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,359 Speaker 2: you know, and with you know, got our first apartment. 404 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:17,879 Speaker 2: So that melowed me down a little bit. And I started, 405 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 2: you know, I started like i'ma be like I'm gonna 406 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,560 Speaker 2: raise my kids like my father raised us, you know 407 00:23:23,600 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 2: what I mean, and try to you know, repeat I 408 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:28,880 Speaker 2: have a brutiful childhood, Like I had a beautiful childhood. 409 00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 2: So so you immolate your father, you know, all your life. 410 00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 2: So I think, uh, that's what Tisen does, you know 411 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,080 Speaker 2: what I mean? Because like sometimes I could be stubborn 412 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,720 Speaker 2: this hell too, you know what I mean, And sometimes 413 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 2: he could be stubborn, and you know, and uh, now 414 00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 2: it's responsive to things, you know. So I just think, 415 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 2: you know, I just got to keep uh chipping away 416 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:53,199 Speaker 2: at him, you know what I mean. As long as 417 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,479 Speaker 2: I keep chipping away at him sooner or later, I'm 418 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 2: gonna chip that piece off that's gonna open up his 419 00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,359 Speaker 2: heart for him, of course, you know I'm coming station. 420 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,879 Speaker 1: But how do you think that's going to make a 421 00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 1: difference in his life when he realizes I got the 422 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 1: kind of dad. Because when you talk about your dad 423 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,359 Speaker 1: and you refer to it as a beautiful childhood, and 424 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: you talked about you being a bad kid, but your 425 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 1: dad loved you anyway, Your dad was there anyway. What 426 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,840 Speaker 1: difference do you think is gonna make to deliciage life 427 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: when he realizes that you love him that way that 428 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,320 Speaker 1: you're that you have like the kind of I'm gonna 429 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,480 Speaker 1: keep chipping away at it kind of love for him. 430 00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:35,520 Speaker 1: What difference do you think is gonna make for decision 431 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:39,280 Speaker 1: when he when he realizes that, I think is. 432 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:43,760 Speaker 2: Gonna make a substantial difference because the fact that we 433 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,000 Speaker 2: we had each other back, you know what I mean, 434 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:50,520 Speaker 2: We was deaf each other on all you know, all situations, 435 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,680 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, and uh, the good, the bad, 436 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,439 Speaker 2: and the ugly, you know what I'm saying. You know, 437 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 2: he would call me, He would call me like five 438 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:02,560 Speaker 2: o'clock in the morning, Pop, I need and I don't think. Uh, 439 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:06,920 Speaker 2: I could be wrong. He might you know, found the friend. 440 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 2: Uh you know now that you know he could depend 441 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,360 Speaker 2: on no matter what. What's the situation is? If he's 442 00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:15,919 Speaker 2: stuck on the highway two o'clock in the morning, you 443 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 2: know what I mean, it's my friend. You know. If 444 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,160 Speaker 2: I call my friend, come get me. Oh, come fix 445 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:21,960 Speaker 2: me up, you know, come help me out. You know, 446 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,439 Speaker 2: I don't know if he found somebody like that, you know, 447 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:26,320 Speaker 2: I hope he has. You know that that would be 448 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:30,400 Speaker 2: a good thing. Uh, But I don't think that nobody 449 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,119 Speaker 2: would lay any life on the line for him, like 450 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 2: the way I would. 451 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:44,640 Speaker 1: How would you like this conversation to make a difference 452 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,560 Speaker 1: in your life? Like, is there anything we could talk 453 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:52,480 Speaker 1: about today that would help you bring your herd back 454 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:56,919 Speaker 1: together again? To use your words? Which I like that. 455 00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,880 Speaker 1: I like that a lot. 456 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,640 Speaker 2: Well. I think by me analyzing the situation, which you're 457 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 2: going through all the ins and out everything that I 458 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 2: could focus on on the buzz eye. You know what 459 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 2: I'm saying, because like you know, I had my own 460 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,879 Speaker 2: thoughts about things, and you you you you're telling me 461 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,280 Speaker 2: something I'm like, then that little light bulb will go off. 462 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 2: You know, I'm like, wow, okay, cool, you know that's 463 00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 2: that's that's that's that's the tellisea. You know, that's brilliant, 464 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,840 Speaker 2: you know. And then and I have factor that into 465 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 2: what I'm what I'm gonna present and in the for 466 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 2: right riting place. So I believe that this bi us, 467 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 2: you know, having a conversation about situations, and we're figuring 468 00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 2: out what what you know, uh, what what plan we 469 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:49,560 Speaker 2: could make too? Uh to attack to attack the problem? Uh. 470 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 2: That's making substantial impact on me. 471 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:57,040 Speaker 1: Okay, so what's the next step in the plan. 472 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 2: Well, my next plan, My next step is to call 473 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 2: him up, you know what I mean. You know, you know, 474 00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:08,720 Speaker 2: I think I've been using different avenues you know, uh 475 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,919 Speaker 2: far as you know, uh to see his his his 476 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 2: attitude or his his uh his his how he's been 477 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,040 Speaker 2: thinking about me because I've been relating to a few people, 478 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying that he's around, you know 479 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 2: what I mean? And uh they've been giving me a 480 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,240 Speaker 2: little uh bits and pieces of things, you know what 481 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 2: I mean. So uh, I want to say he's his 482 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:39,000 Speaker 2: life is. It's like like I think his life is 483 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 2: it's going place as far as all all the things 484 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,320 Speaker 2: that he's trying to accomplish, but there's still a missing link, 485 00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:49,199 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And and I think that 486 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:53,400 Speaker 2: missing link is between between me and him, our relationship. 487 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:58,639 Speaker 2: And I do believe that when when all the links 488 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:02,920 Speaker 2: are strongly can elected, the change is a whole lot stronger, 489 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. 490 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:09,679 Speaker 1: I completely agree with you, man, completely agree with you. 491 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 1: So how are you gonna know when you're hyped up 492 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:14,080 Speaker 1: enough to call him a second time? 493 00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 2: I was gonna was I was gonna do that today. 494 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 2: I was gonna do that today. I was gonna I 495 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,760 Speaker 2: should have done it yesterday. But when I got up 496 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 2: work yesterday, it seemed like, uh, every problem that could 497 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,199 Speaker 2: go wrong went wrong yesterday at work, So I was like, 498 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 2: I didn't really have a still moment. I was on 499 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,040 Speaker 2: the move constantly, so I was so when I got home, 500 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 2: I was like totally, you know, washed out. So I 501 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 2: was like, like, I ony took a shower and took 502 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 2: a nap, so I was done. And today wasn't as 503 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 2: bad as it was yesterday. But it was a little 504 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 2: rough today too. But I think only because of that 505 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 2: because we had a few, uh a few Like that's crazy, 506 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:07,280 Speaker 2: because like the lady uh called called the officers. She 507 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 2: smelled gas, and she been calling for like almost a 508 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:14,720 Speaker 2: week or so. So she said, uh, every time she 509 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 2: opened the door, she can smell the gas. You know, 510 00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,640 Speaker 2: she opened her front door, she can smell it. So 511 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 2: by the time uh maiden has come there, the smell 512 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:30,640 Speaker 2: of been the you know, you know, eparticipated I went 513 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:32,400 Speaker 2: away or whatever, you know what I mean. So I 514 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 2: told her, lady, I said, listen, I said, when you 515 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:39,840 Speaker 2: first come home, called me, so that way, when I'll 516 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:41,920 Speaker 2: be right there when you open the door. And she 517 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 2: opened that door. I was like, whoa, I smelled it 518 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 2: because I went there a couple of times. I was like, 519 00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 2: I don't really smell not, you know what I mean. 520 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 2: And like they got the meter, the gas meter, and 521 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 2: I went around the stove, you know what I mean. 522 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 2: And it ain't beat crazy or nothing like that. So 523 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,400 Speaker 2: so when I told her, when you first come home, 524 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:05,600 Speaker 2: don't do anything before you open the door, call me 525 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 2: and I come right there. So like when she did 526 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 2: that yesterday, boom, I smelted up with the met her 527 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 2: and it was beeping like crazy. Right, So I went 528 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 2: by the I went by the stove and it wasn't 529 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 2: beeping as much. So I go back back by the door, 530 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 2: and the beet a little beat, a couple more beeps, 531 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 2: so I'm like, what's going on? So I went next 532 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,720 Speaker 2: door and it wasn't beeping. So I'm like something, something 533 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 2: is crazy. So I said, right, we gotta figure this out. 534 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,440 Speaker 2: So I called, you know, the gas company. So that 535 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:40,200 Speaker 2: the leak was under the ground, So it was under 536 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 2: the ground by the gas meter. The pipe that was 537 00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 2: rusted out. So they had to cut the shut the 538 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:49,480 Speaker 2: whole complexed out. The whole complex, like I think it 539 00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 2: was ten, ten or twelve apartments, had to shut all 540 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 2: those apartments down, dig up the ground, and fix the pipe. 541 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:57,360 Speaker 1: You did that. 542 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 2: So, no, the gas company did that. I ain't. I 543 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,479 Speaker 2: ain't doing all that. No, I just called him. When 544 00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:07,440 Speaker 2: they came, they got the little meata detectives, but they 545 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,719 Speaker 2: got the one you dig the hole in the ground 546 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,240 Speaker 2: and then you stick it in the ground. So I 547 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:17,320 Speaker 2: don't got that one. So so I shut I shut 548 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,680 Speaker 2: the apartments off though, I shut all the line the 549 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,600 Speaker 2: gas off to all apartments, to twelve apartments, and they 550 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:28,320 Speaker 2: came and went to little back hole and dug ground up. Yeah, 551 00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 2: they read tagged that the red tagged us. But they 552 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:32,360 Speaker 2: got it fixed. 553 00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 1: Though, gotcha. So that was a busy day yesterday. 554 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, so now I gotta go back in all the 555 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 2: twelve units. We light all the power lights from the 556 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,160 Speaker 2: stove to the heater to the hot water, you know 557 00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:52,440 Speaker 2: what I mean. So I was like, oh man, it's crazy. 558 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:56,200 Speaker 1: And so do you have time to call your son today? 559 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna call him, deck out to call him day. So, like, 560 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 2: you know, I'm looking forward to just hand him say hello, 561 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Whatever what happens after that then, 562 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,600 Speaker 2: you know, is I you know what I mean? As 563 00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 2: I hear his voice, you know what I mean? 564 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: You know, you're starting to say some things that to 565 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 1: me are like real big signs, like how different is 566 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 1: it for you to be like you know what, I'm 567 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,280 Speaker 1: just looking forward to him saying hello. How different is 568 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:24,520 Speaker 1: that for you to have that position? 569 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 2: Well, like I really miss him, man, I miss I 570 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 2: missed the hell out of him, you know what I mean? 571 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 2: Like I said, like I didn't really I got friends, 572 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,840 Speaker 2: Like I don't really got no no real best friends. 573 00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:41,760 Speaker 2: My real best friend he died, So I really develop 574 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 2: any real friendship where I can call somebody my best friend, 575 00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 2: and I called my son. He was my best friend, 576 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,440 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, because like we could, you know, 577 00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:56,360 Speaker 2: we talked about everything. We almost did, you know, virtually 578 00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:00,240 Speaker 2: everything together, you know what I mean. So, uh, I'm 579 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 2: telling them all times, you're not just my son, You're 580 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,040 Speaker 2: my best friend, you know what I mean. And and 581 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 2: I think like as far as like most fathers and 582 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,160 Speaker 2: sons relationships, I think we had we had a really 583 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,040 Speaker 2: a real good relationship. You know, it might not have 584 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 2: been the idea one as far as like father and son. 585 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,520 Speaker 2: Uh you know, like like my me and my father, 586 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,440 Speaker 2: we ain't never go hang out in no bars, you 587 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:27,200 Speaker 2: know what I mean. We ain't never go to the 588 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 2: night club. We ain't up going to strip clubs, you 589 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 2: know what I mean. Because my father was more religious 590 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 2: kind of a person, you know what I mean. He 591 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,400 Speaker 2: ain't really does in that kind of thing itself, you 592 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,920 Speaker 2: know what I mean. But we did go to like 593 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:44,160 Speaker 2: amusement parks, you know what I mean, Uh, picnics and 594 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,880 Speaker 2: stuff like that, to fears and carnivals and all kinds 595 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:53,600 Speaker 2: of things like that of that nature. It was you know. No, No, 596 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 2: the generation times is changing, so you know, things that 597 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:01,320 Speaker 2: develop more fast and more great. And I believe that 598 00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:06,480 Speaker 2: our relationship was it was it was a good relationship, 599 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 2: but it wasn't ideal, you know, father and son relationship 600 00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,800 Speaker 2: far as like. And I know a few farthers probably 601 00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,080 Speaker 2: hang out with they son and go to you know, 602 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 2: clubs and you know, you know, hang out like that. 603 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 2: Uh but uh, but but you know, we just we 604 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,840 Speaker 2: just done so many things you know, together, like you know, 605 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,319 Speaker 2: you know you would say, damn, they don't they only 606 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,879 Speaker 2: act like father like to to you know, like two 607 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:36,600 Speaker 2: brothers or something like that. You know what I mean? 608 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,800 Speaker 1: When was the I shouldn't even say like that? Since 609 00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,960 Speaker 1: since you guys have had this rupture, have you ever 610 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,080 Speaker 1: had the opportunity to tell him how much you miss 611 00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,040 Speaker 1: him and tell him that he was your best friend? 612 00:34:55,680 --> 00:35:00,200 Speaker 2: Nah? Nah, I never, I never had that opportunity. Yuah. 613 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,279 Speaker 1: What would it do for you to be able to 614 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:08,120 Speaker 1: say that to him? 615 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,959 Speaker 2: I do a lot for me, you know what I mean? Uh, 616 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:14,200 Speaker 2: just just the point that that that out to him, 617 00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,040 Speaker 2: you know, to convey that to him, you know, to 618 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,400 Speaker 2: show him, Uh, you know the gravity of our relationship 619 00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,399 Speaker 2: that that that's been lacking, you know, what I mean 620 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,319 Speaker 2: mean a great deal to me and probably mean a 621 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:29,960 Speaker 2: great deal of him. I'm quite sure he already aware 622 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:35,719 Speaker 2: of it, h M, because you know, the last time 623 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,759 Speaker 2: you know, we talked, he said he don't really got 624 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,560 Speaker 2: nobody that he could trust to do do you know, 625 00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 2: do things for him like that? You know what I mean, 626 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:47,400 Speaker 2: you go in this safe or go in this is 627 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,920 Speaker 2: stash or whatever. You know, now nine times a team, 628 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,879 Speaker 2: you really can't trust nobody to do things like that, 629 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,800 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? If you got five thousand 630 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,839 Speaker 2: dollar was in there, you know, you might have three 631 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 2: thousand dollars and you come back, you know what I mean? 632 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,759 Speaker 2: You really some people you just can't trust to do 633 00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:08,600 Speaker 2: things like that, you know what I mean? 634 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you might have zero dollars, not just three times. Yeah, 635 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,160 Speaker 1: and what if he responds badly on the second call? 636 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:28,680 Speaker 1: How are you gonna handle that? 637 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:32,240 Speaker 2: That's okay, that's okay, because like if it be does 638 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,720 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? You know, that's I believe 639 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:40,560 Speaker 2: that's minimizing what he's feeling, you know what I mean, 640 00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:45,360 Speaker 2: minimized like his release. If that's the release he have, 641 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,400 Speaker 2: right then you know it's gonna minimize you know what 642 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,279 Speaker 2: I'm saying. He had to get it off his chest. 643 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,040 Speaker 2: You got to get it out the way, and once, 644 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,399 Speaker 2: you know, sometimes you just got good things out the way, 645 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,040 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, So you could so you 646 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,520 Speaker 2: could start the process of healing, you know what I mean. 647 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 2: That's how I'm gonna look at it. You know what 648 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:02,440 Speaker 2: I mean. 649 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,120 Speaker 1: How how unusual do you think he will experience it? 650 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:09,000 Speaker 1: If he you know, he's got to get some stuff 651 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:11,440 Speaker 1: off his chest and he says some harsh, mean things, 652 00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,200 Speaker 1: and he yells and curses, and at the end of that, 653 00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:15,879 Speaker 1: you say, all right, man, I'll call you next week. 654 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:21,399 Speaker 1: How unusual would that be to him? 655 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:29,480 Speaker 2: That'd be like that. I took whatever he said, and 656 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,359 Speaker 2: I took it in. You know, I'm filtering it out, 657 00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:38,520 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. And you know, I know 658 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,000 Speaker 2: some of the things he probably say to me is 659 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,359 Speaker 2: probably true, you know what I mean. And sometimes they 660 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 2: say the truth hurts, you know what I mean. And 661 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,480 Speaker 2: probably through the things he might you know, people relinquished 662 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:54,160 Speaker 2: on me. Can I I gotta accept it. I gotta 663 00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:59,280 Speaker 2: accept the fact that you know, I ain't the perfect, 664 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,000 Speaker 2: perfect person in the world, and you know I may 665 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 2: I made mistakes and sometimes I gotta be accountable for 666 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 2: all my mistakes that I made. 667 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:13,920 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. And for him to hear you say that, 668 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,080 Speaker 1: how different would that be for him? 669 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,399 Speaker 2: Well, a lot of people that can't accept their own 670 00:38:21,640 --> 00:38:28,600 Speaker 2: they own uh own only their own mishaps, you know 671 00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:33,360 Speaker 2: what I'm saying. They don't because like some people like 672 00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:36,840 Speaker 2: they don't never like say well, I'm sorry, you know 673 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,799 Speaker 2: I did this. You know, can you forgive me? Some 674 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,239 Speaker 2: people just can't accept that they did wrong? You know 675 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:43,719 Speaker 2: what I mean? 676 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:47,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's absolutely true. But what what would 677 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,839 Speaker 1: it do to him to hear you say that? Because 678 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:53,360 Speaker 1: you know a lot of times when we attack people 679 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,960 Speaker 1: and we even getting things off our chest, even if 680 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:59,080 Speaker 1: we're just trying doing so, the other person gets defensive, 681 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,280 Speaker 1: they don't want to talk about it, they get distant. 682 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:04,040 Speaker 1: How different would it be for him to hear you say, 683 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:06,520 Speaker 1: you know what, what you just said is true. I 684 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,440 Speaker 1: accept responsibility for it. I just want to move forward 685 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,879 Speaker 1: and I want my best friend back. How different would 686 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:13,839 Speaker 1: that be for here for him to hear you say that? 687 00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,600 Speaker 2: And that might be the idea thing he's been waiting 688 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,440 Speaker 2: just to hear you know what I mean? Yea be 689 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:25,479 Speaker 2: the only thing. You know, some people like uh, never 690 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 2: is apologetic, you know what I mean. Some people don't 691 00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:33,440 Speaker 2: admit to their own own fault, you know what I mean. 692 00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:38,400 Speaker 2: And you know, like, uh, I'm I'm I'm acceptible to 693 00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:40,439 Speaker 2: my thoughts. I got to my boss the other day. 694 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,600 Speaker 2: I said, I'm the type of person like this is, 695 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:47,799 Speaker 2: if you show me a more efficient, more simpler way 696 00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:52,680 Speaker 2: to fix something, I could change and fix it that way. 697 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:56,319 Speaker 2: And he just looked at me like, oh okay, because 698 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,680 Speaker 2: like most people are stuck in the way, stuck in 699 00:39:58,719 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 2: their own pattern. What I'm saying true, Uh, they want 700 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,239 Speaker 2: to fix it this way and that's it. But if 701 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,560 Speaker 2: somebody can show me a more efficient and more fast 702 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,799 Speaker 2: away to do something in the way I'm doing it, 703 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,279 Speaker 2: I'm accessible to change, you know what I mean. And 704 00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:21,520 Speaker 2: I think, uh, that might be the only thing that uh, 705 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:24,279 Speaker 2: he needs to hear, you know what I mean. And 706 00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:29,160 Speaker 2: if that's all that, you know, that's what. If that's 707 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,400 Speaker 2: what it takes, and I got I got suck it 708 00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:33,160 Speaker 2: up and eat it all. You know what I mean. 709 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,520 Speaker 2: That you know what I mean? 710 00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:42,239 Speaker 1: And if it is the one thing he needed to hear, 711 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,200 Speaker 1: how do you imagine he'd respond like, I don't know, 712 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:47,719 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the one thing he needed here, 713 00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:49,879 Speaker 1: But let's say it is. How do you imagine he'd 714 00:40:49,920 --> 00:40:52,040 Speaker 1: respond to you when he hears it. 715 00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,719 Speaker 2: I guess it'll be the uh, the k look that 716 00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:05,880 Speaker 2: you know that sales the sales the relationship, you know 717 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,480 Speaker 2: what I mean. Because sometimes sometimes people complicate things when 718 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,640 Speaker 2: they don't really need to be that complicated, right, you 719 00:41:11,719 --> 00:41:14,240 Speaker 2: know what I mean. People blow things out of proportion 720 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:19,360 Speaker 2: when you could just simplify the solution and and just 721 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,000 Speaker 2: solve the problem, you know what I mean. Sometimes people 722 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 2: just just blow just blow things out of proportion all 723 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,920 Speaker 2: the time, you know what I mean, Like, Wow, it 724 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 2: ain't all that serious, you know what I mean. And 725 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 2: sometimes uh, we could make situations more devastating in what 726 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,359 Speaker 2: they really are, you know what I mean, by our 727 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,719 Speaker 2: own by our own of own feelings, you know what 728 00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:47,880 Speaker 2: I mean, Like you know, you know, my god, you 729 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:51,200 Speaker 2: know what I mean, Like it ain't that severe, you 730 00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,400 Speaker 2: know what I mean. And sometimes some problems be like 731 00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,600 Speaker 2: you might say, it ain't that serious, but it might 732 00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,080 Speaker 2: be devastating to them, you know what I mean. And 733 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,200 Speaker 2: so you gotta find out that middle ground, you know, 734 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 2: and and and and and meet meet and meet there, 735 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,320 Speaker 2: you know, and ask. 736 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:13,719 Speaker 1: Like, let's say we take a few steps further down road, 737 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 1: how do you hope you and your son participate in relationship? 738 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:20,520 Speaker 1: Do you want to talk once a week? You want 739 00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,640 Speaker 1: to hang out again? Like what would be the ideal 740 00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:24,120 Speaker 1: way for this to go for you? 741 00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:28,080 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I want. I wanted to. I want to, 742 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 2: you know, hang out with him again. You know, I 743 00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,239 Speaker 2: want to go to places with him. I wanted from 744 00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,120 Speaker 2: the start coming down here, you know what I mean, 745 00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:37,279 Speaker 2: come to my house, you know, uh on you know, 746 00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,600 Speaker 2: pick up his his son and uh and and and 747 00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:44,520 Speaker 2: come down here, you know. And uh, I was thinking about, 748 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:47,560 Speaker 2: you know, for my birthday, I wanted to have like, 749 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,759 Speaker 2: you know, a big family you know OUTI you know, 750 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,360 Speaker 2: uh and and hopefully for the ones that you know, 751 00:42:56,000 --> 00:43:00,279 Speaker 2: financially uh stable to uh to make the trip, you know, 752 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,480 Speaker 2: I could you know, I could you know, pitching you know, 753 00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:05,800 Speaker 2: and uh you know, you know, give him a few dollars, 754 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:09,279 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So uh, I'm really trying 755 00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,080 Speaker 2: to you know, just my you know, I'm looking for 756 00:43:11,120 --> 00:43:13,080 Speaker 2: the big sixty five, you know what I mean. And 757 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,600 Speaker 2: I I got sixty five more left. 758 00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,600 Speaker 1: You know, I don't know sixty five more left. 759 00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,600 Speaker 2: So that way I believe that. Uh I really I 760 00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,719 Speaker 2: thought my fifty was gonna be was gonna believe it 761 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:28,680 Speaker 2: or not? I turned twenty five. I don't think I 762 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:33,600 Speaker 2: was gonna be twenty five, right, So uhh when that 763 00:43:33,719 --> 00:43:35,799 Speaker 2: when I turned twenty five, I ain't I swould to god, 764 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,719 Speaker 2: I didn't think I was gonna live be twenty five 765 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,480 Speaker 2: years old, right, you know what I mean? So when 766 00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,799 Speaker 2: I turned fifty, I thought that was a uh you know, 767 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,719 Speaker 2: monumental accomplishment, you know, in my life, you know what 768 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,359 Speaker 2: I mean. So now that I'm to that age where 769 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,279 Speaker 2: you know I'm about to retire, you know what I mean? Uh, 770 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:56,760 Speaker 2: I was gonna uh my, my my wife, she wanted 771 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,920 Speaker 2: to have have that up north into some type of 772 00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:04,880 Speaker 2: uh you know, you know establishment, you know, like a 773 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,960 Speaker 2: big restaurant. I can't afford that, you know what I mean? 774 00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:12,640 Speaker 2: So I figure if I have it here. Because we 775 00:44:12,680 --> 00:44:15,920 Speaker 2: had a couple of picnics, a couple of a sleep 776 00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:19,120 Speaker 2: Old Wizard was like like twenty people stayed in my house, 777 00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,160 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. They brought their sleeping bags, 778 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,359 Speaker 2: they brought they whatever they had, you know what I mean, 779 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:28,600 Speaker 2: their mattresses or whatever whatever, and everybody was spread out anywhere, 780 00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:32,360 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So, uh, you know, I 781 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:34,120 Speaker 2: don't you know, I don't you know, I don't mind that, 782 00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:38,960 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. So if you know, you know, 783 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,400 Speaker 2: that's what it takes, and you know, I'm you know, 784 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,520 Speaker 2: looking forward to it. And then the ones that don't 785 00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 2: want to stay in there, you know, you know, finances 786 00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:50,000 Speaker 2: because they at hotel, go to Atlantic City or they 787 00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:51,480 Speaker 2: whatever they want to do, you know what I mean. 788 00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:55,719 Speaker 2: But uh, that's that's that's my plans. 789 00:44:56,040 --> 00:45:01,040 Speaker 1: M I love that. I mean, I cannot stress enough 790 00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,920 Speaker 1: how big of a step it is and how how 791 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:09,360 Speaker 1: much it says about you, Freddie, that you've made this 792 00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:15,440 Speaker 1: phone call, and I just want to ask you to 793 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:16,120 Speaker 1: make another one. 794 00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:21,640 Speaker 2: Plan I'm gonna do assume as I hang out with you, 795 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,400 Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna eat dinner. I think I might 796 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:25,040 Speaker 2: eat dinner for. 797 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,440 Speaker 1: Okay, I can live with that. Get some food and 798 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:35,440 Speaker 1: then call this is and then I just want you 799 00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:40,120 Speaker 1: to pay attention to the impact just the attempts are 800 00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,400 Speaker 1: making on your life and his life. And my favorite 801 00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:47,720 Speaker 1: thing you said was I'm actually just excited and looking 802 00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:50,719 Speaker 1: forward to him saying hello. Everything after that is just, 803 00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:55,680 Speaker 1: you know whatever. But I'm just looking forward to him 804 00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:59,520 Speaker 1: saying hello. And your job now is to show him 805 00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,839 Speaker 1: he's got the kind of father that's going to keep 806 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:15,000 Speaker 1: chipping away at this until we succeed. If I could 807 00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:19,239 Speaker 1: give a message to Freddie's son, I would tell him 808 00:46:19,239 --> 00:46:22,960 Speaker 1: a story I've said publicly before, I think, even on 809 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:26,880 Speaker 1: this platform, that I do not have contact with my father. 810 00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:29,799 Speaker 1: And the reason I don't have contact with my father 811 00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,759 Speaker 1: is he was a very very abusive guy. And when 812 00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,760 Speaker 1: I was about twenty, I was I was just tired 813 00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:38,399 Speaker 1: of violence happening in my home. I needed a safe 814 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:42,600 Speaker 1: space in my life, and my father came into my life, 815 00:46:42,880 --> 00:46:44,480 Speaker 1: came to visit where I was living at the time 816 00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:50,719 Speaker 1: in Texas, and a physical altercation ensued between me, him 817 00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,360 Speaker 1: and my really between my older brother and him, and 818 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,040 Speaker 1: I got involved trying to break it up, and something 819 00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:59,680 Speaker 1: snapped in me like that was the last physical alter 820 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:04,120 Speaker 1: case I could take, and I told my father later 821 00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:06,239 Speaker 1: on that night, I said, you can't be in my 822 00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:10,680 Speaker 1: life anymore unless you follow a few simple rules. No 823 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:14,239 Speaker 1: yelling at me, no hitting me, no cursing at me, 824 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:17,760 Speaker 1: and no calling me names. If you could do those things, 825 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,120 Speaker 1: we can move forward from here. I can forgive everything 826 00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:22,839 Speaker 1: that's happened in the past. We can get through all 827 00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:24,920 Speaker 1: of that. I just need a life going forward that 828 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,520 Speaker 1: doesn't have those four things because it was killing me. 829 00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:30,720 Speaker 1: It was injuring myself esteem and my ability to grow 830 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:34,680 Speaker 1: and be a man. My father's exact response was fuck you, 831 00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,560 Speaker 1: and he hung up the phone. And that was the 832 00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,400 Speaker 1: moment where I realized, I'm gonna have to implement these boundaries. 833 00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:45,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to force him to honor the boundaries 834 00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:50,800 Speaker 1: that I have because I wanted to live a healthy life. 835 00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:54,239 Speaker 1: Now I'm very proud of the fact that exactly what 836 00:47:54,320 --> 00:47:56,680 Speaker 1: I needed to have happened happened. I got to live 837 00:47:56,680 --> 00:47:58,200 Speaker 1: a life without those four things. 838 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:00,440 Speaker 2: Involved. 839 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:04,640 Speaker 1: I grew matured, got stronger, I got degrees, I got 840 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:08,080 Speaker 1: a family, I got a life, a life I'm proud of. 841 00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,719 Speaker 1: But there has not been a single day in that 842 00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:17,000 Speaker 1: time where I didn't wish my father would reach out 843 00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:23,920 Speaker 1: to me owning his mistakes. If I had a father 844 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:28,920 Speaker 1: doing what Freddie is doing, there is no way I 845 00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,400 Speaker 1: wouldn't take that phone call. You see, there's a difference 846 00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:37,160 Speaker 1: between not talking to someone because they're violating your boundaries 847 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:41,719 Speaker 1: and not talking to someone because you're holding onto resentments 848 00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:45,799 Speaker 1: from past things. The greatest thing that you could do 849 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:50,560 Speaker 1: for somebody is to give them the ability to earnestly 850 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:58,120 Speaker 1: apologize for their mistakes. And in this situation, Freddie is 851 00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:02,839 Speaker 1: acknowledging his mistakes and seeking an opportunity to make them right. 852 00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,960 Speaker 1: I do not believe there is enough language in the 853 00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:14,200 Speaker 1: English Dictionary in order for me to articulate how much 854 00:49:14,320 --> 00:49:19,560 Speaker 1: I would want that phone call from my father. My father, 855 00:49:19,719 --> 00:49:22,840 Speaker 1: to this day, that incident that I just remarked about 856 00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,279 Speaker 1: took place over twenty five years ago, and to this day, 857 00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:30,400 Speaker 1: he has never acknowledged the abuse he subjected myself, my 858 00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:33,280 Speaker 1: two brothers, and my mother to and he has certainly 859 00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:37,480 Speaker 1: never reached out in an attempt to earnestly apologize or 860 00:49:37,520 --> 00:49:44,440 Speaker 1: apologize at all. In this scenario, Freddie, while imperfect, Freddie 861 00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:51,520 Speaker 1: wild flawed. Freddie is overtly and openly acknowledging his mistakes 862 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:56,840 Speaker 1: and with a level of genuineness, looking for opportunities to 863 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:06,759 Speaker 1: resolve them. If you continue to stonewall those attempts, It's 864 00:50:06,880 --> 00:50:13,040 Speaker 1: no longer about implementing a boundary. It's about punishment for 865 00:50:13,239 --> 00:50:21,440 Speaker 1: past mistakes. It's about resentment for past mistakes, it's about 866 00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:27,839 Speaker 1: anger for past mistakes. And all those things are understandable. 867 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,280 Speaker 1: But you've got to understand that all of those things 868 00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:36,520 Speaker 1: only further harm you. I said a minute ago that 869 00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:39,120 Speaker 1: the greatest gift that you could give someone is to 870 00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:42,480 Speaker 1: give them the opportunity to earnestly apologize for a mistake. 871 00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:46,759 Speaker 1: But that's only half the truth, because it's also the 872 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,960 Speaker 1: greatest gift that you can give yourself. Because once you 873 00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:54,520 Speaker 1: give that person that opportunity, then you let go of anger, resentment, 874 00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,879 Speaker 1: you let go of hate and anger. Those things are 875 00:50:57,960 --> 00:51:00,279 Speaker 1: poisons when they live in the human heart than the 876 00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:03,400 Speaker 1: human soul. And if your father is reaching out to 877 00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:08,479 Speaker 1: you again, while imperfect and wild flawed, attempting to make 878 00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:13,320 Speaker 1: a wrong right, then you are allowing poison to continue 879 00:51:13,320 --> 00:51:19,759 Speaker 1: to poison you. I would strongly ask you to just 880 00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,360 Speaker 1: listen to the conversation, and then you can be the 881 00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:25,960 Speaker 1: determining factor of whether or not you think it is 882 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,960 Speaker 1: truly an apology. Then you can be the person who 883 00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,719 Speaker 1: determines whether or not you feel safe engaging in that 884 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:35,440 Speaker 1: relationship going forward. But like I said, I would give 885 00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:38,439 Speaker 1: anything to have my father reach out in the way 886 00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:42,880 Speaker 1: that Freddie has reached out through this process. It would 887 00:51:42,920 --> 00:51:44,600 Speaker 1: mean the world to me, and it would it would 888 00:51:44,600 --> 00:51:46,640 Speaker 1: heal things broken in me that I don't know will 889 00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,120 Speaker 1: ever be healed otherwise. I think this is an opportunity 890 00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:52,919 Speaker 1: for you to have things healed in you that may 891 00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:58,040 Speaker 1: otherwise never heal. So my message to you is to 892 00:51:58,160 --> 00:52:03,719 Speaker 1: give the gift of healing to yourself by giving the 893 00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:15,120 Speaker 1: gift of healing to your father. It's important to ask 894 00:52:15,160 --> 00:52:18,839 Speaker 1: yourself different questions on your healing journey. For the next 895 00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,239 Speaker 1: few weeks, I will ask you a question at the 896 00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:24,520 Speaker 1: end of each episode to hopefully inspire your inner superhero. 897 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:28,800 Speaker 1: And this week I want you to ask yourself, what's 898 00:52:28,960 --> 00:52:33,520 Speaker 1: the most impactful thing you can do to bring a 899 00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:38,480 Speaker 1: relationship in your life closer to you and what difference 900 00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:42,280 Speaker 1: would doing that make to you and that other person. 901 00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:45,960 Speaker 1: Maybe there's a close friend you had while growing up, 902 00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,680 Speaker 1: Maybe there's a loved win in your life that you've 903 00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:52,480 Speaker 1: drifted apart. What could you do to bring that relationship 904 00:52:52,560 --> 00:52:55,399 Speaker 1: closer and what difference would it make to you? And 905 00:52:55,480 --> 00:53:02,799 Speaker 1: that other person to be closer. This is not just 906 00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:05,960 Speaker 1: a podcast that I want you to consume and be 907 00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:09,560 Speaker 1: entertained by. I actually want you to be inspired. I 908 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:12,480 Speaker 1: want you to be impacted by this, and in fact, 909 00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:16,360 Speaker 1: we can't help but be impacted by the content we consume. 910 00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,239 Speaker 1: So what I would like for you to do is 911 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,040 Speaker 1: come on this healing journey with us. Come on this 912 00:53:21,160 --> 00:53:25,640 Speaker 1: journey of change rediscovery with us. And the way to 913 00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,960 Speaker 1: do that is to just pay attention to the things 914 00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:32,440 Speaker 1: going on in your life as a consequence of listening 915 00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:35,200 Speaker 1: to this podcast. Pay attention to things in your life 916 00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:38,479 Speaker 1: shifting in a more desirable way. Pay attention to your 917 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:42,200 Speaker 1: desirable outcome becoming your reality. Pay attention to evidence of 918 00:53:42,239 --> 00:53:46,239 Speaker 1: your success, your resilience, and your strength. And let us 919 00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:49,160 Speaker 1: know in the comments what you're noticing in your life 920 00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:52,120 Speaker 1: as a result of listening to this podcast and as 921 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:55,479 Speaker 1: a result of paying attention to these things. I would 922 00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:55,839 Speaker 1: love to. 923 00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:59,000 Speaker 3: Hear from you about your healing journey, your family, and 924 00:53:59,040 --> 00:54:02,080 Speaker 3: your feedback. Leave a review, send a DM, connect with 925 00:54:02,120 --> 00:54:04,640 Speaker 3: me on socials at Elliott Speaks, and you can also 926 00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:07,000 Speaker 3: send me a text message to nine seven two four 927 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:10,520 Speaker 3: two six two six four zero. Family Therapy is a 928 00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:14,560 Speaker 3: production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect podcast Network. Special 929 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,719 Speaker 3: thanks to our assistant Glendale Seppe. It's produced by Jack 930 00:54:17,760 --> 00:54:20,799 Speaker 3: Queish Thomas and the executive producer Dolly S. 931 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,200 Speaker 1: Spisher. For more podcasts from The Black Effect, visit the 932 00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,800 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. 933 00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:31,560 Speaker 1: The content presented on the Family Therapy podcast serves solely 934 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,480 Speaker 1: for educational and informational purposes. It should not be considered 935 00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:37,239 Speaker 1: a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance and 936 00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:40,640 Speaker 1: does not constitute a provider aatient relationship. It is advisable 937 00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:43,160 Speaker 1: to consult with your healthcare provider or health team for 938 00:54:43,280 --> 00:54:45,360 Speaker 1: any specific concerns or questions you may have.