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Speaker 1: Hey, guys, it's Amy here, and I appreciate y'all listening

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Speaker 1: to our Bobby Bone Show podcast. Now I want to

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Speaker 1: recommend a show from my podcast network that I think

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Speaker 1: that you'll like. Licensed therapist Katherine Defada has a podcast

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Speaker 1: called You Need Therapy, and the whole premise is to

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Speaker 1: jump start conversations that are meaningful in order to help

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Speaker 1: others feel less alone and create a deeper understanding of

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Speaker 1: one's self and others, and then, more importantly, for more

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Speaker 1: and more people to start realizing that therapy isn't reserved

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Speaker 1: for people who have something wrong with them. Therapy is

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Speaker 1: for all of us. You may not want it, but

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Speaker 1: the truth is, you need therapy. I really think it's

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Speaker 1: a great podcast. You're gonna like it, especially the episode

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Speaker 1: I'm going to share with you now, So go subscribe

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Speaker 1: and listen on iHeartRadio or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Now here's Katherine Nefada and an episode of You Need Therapy.

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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of

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Speaker 1: Unied Therapy. I'm Kat and I am as always so

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Speaker 1: glad that you are here. I hope you guys had

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Speaker 1: a wonderful weekend and enjoyed the holiday, the holiday being

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Speaker 1: Thanksgiving as much as you could. This year, I know

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Speaker 1: it was different. It was weird for a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: but we got through it and we're here, and I

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Speaker 1: want to give a quick shout out to anyone who

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Speaker 1: is a new listener or first time listener. Hello, nice

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Speaker 1: to meet you, but I'm really not meeting you, but

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Anyway, I wanted to remind everyone,

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Speaker 1: including those people especially, that you can connect with me

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Speaker 1: in the podcast online on Instagram. I am at at

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Speaker 1: Kat dot defata and you can follow the podcast at

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Speaker 1: at Unied Therapy Podcast on Instagram. Also, we have something

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Speaker 1: called the Self Love Club and you can join that

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Speaker 1: by heading to Unied Therapy podcast dot com. That is

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Speaker 1: a group of people who I send a special message

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Speaker 1: out to every single week. And if you head to

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Speaker 1: the website, you also will be able to see the

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Speaker 1: store and shop the cute march we have. I know

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Speaker 1: everybody's looking for presents for holidays this year. We have

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Speaker 1: some really cute T shirts, mugs, pin stickers, really great

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Speaker 1: stocking stuffers. So head there and check that out. We

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Speaker 1: would love that. Now to the good stuff, to the

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Speaker 1: juicy stuff. Oh my gosh, we have done it. We

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Speaker 1: finally are here after I mean literally, next week will

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Speaker 1: be a year of the podcast. We have an episode

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Speaker 1: on the Niagram. And clearly this has been one of

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Speaker 1: the most requested things that you guys have asked for,

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Speaker 1: and I have been waiting for not just the right time,

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Speaker 1: but really the right person to do this with. And

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Speaker 1: you're gonna get really excited because this is a secret,

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Speaker 1: but not really a secret, because I'm telling you you're

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Speaker 1: about to get two episodes on the Niagram pretty soon.

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Speaker 1: So this is the first one. And I'm so excited,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna make the short as I can because

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Speaker 1: I want to jump into the stuff because the episode

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Speaker 1: is so good. But I have a therapist named Katie

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Speaker 1: Guest of the Sun, and she is going to take

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Speaker 1: us through today the basics of what the inneagram really is,

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Speaker 1: What is this thing that people keep talking about, Why

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Speaker 1: do we like it? What even is a personality test

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Speaker 1: which we talk about what even as a personality? And

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Speaker 1: then we go through the basics of each of the types.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's so good. Now, let me tell

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Speaker 1: you a little b about Katie. She's not only an

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Speaker 1: extremely kind and warm person. She's so easy to talk to.

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Speaker 1: She also really knows what she's talking about. Side note,

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Speaker 1: I texted my friend who connected us in the beginning

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Speaker 1: afterwards and I was like, oh my god, I wish

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Speaker 1: she could be my therapist. She's awesome. She truly is.

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Speaker 1: So she's not just a licensed therapist. She also has

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Speaker 1: an inneagram coach like she has studied and has been

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Speaker 1: trained in how to use the inneagram as a tool effectively,

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Speaker 1: which I really value. This isn't just somebody who knows

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Speaker 1: a lot about the inneagram. I know a lot about

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Speaker 1: the inneagram, but I am by no means a coach.

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Speaker 1: She offers online coaching. FYI, if you really find yourself

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Speaker 1: connecting to all of the things that we talk about

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Speaker 1: today and you want to dive deeper into that stuff

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Speaker 1: and your story, do not hesitate to connect with Katie.

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Speaker 1: You can find her on Instagram at Katie dot Gustafason

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Speaker 1: dot co. I will put that in the description, and

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Speaker 1: then online at Katie Gustafson dot co. Also, I want

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Speaker 1: to mention that we talked about some tests that she

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Speaker 1: recommends as starting points if you're trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: where you might land on this personality journey. I've linked

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Speaker 1: those in the description as well. Anyway, I hope you

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Speaker 1: love this episode as much as I did, and let

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Speaker 1: me know if you did. Share it. Tag us. We

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Speaker 1: want to we want to connect with you, and I

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Speaker 1: will see all of you guys hopefully on Wednesday for

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Speaker 1: couch Talks. Here's my conversation about the inneagram with Katie.

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Speaker 1: All Right, we have a very exciting episode today I

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Speaker 1: have I'm going to call her Katie G because I

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Speaker 1: just went through a tutorial about to say your last

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Speaker 1: name and it's very challenging. But she is a therapist

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Speaker 1: in town and I know her through a couple humans

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Speaker 1: that have seen her and people that work with her.

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Speaker 1: And it's about time we do an episode on the inneagram.

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Speaker 1: So welcome and thank you for being here. You're so welcome.

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Speaker 1: Thank you for having kat Yeah, and we are going

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Speaker 1: to do we'll do an overview of like what is

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Speaker 1: the inneagram because a lot of people have no idea

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Speaker 1: what this is. They've heard it a lot. It sounds

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Speaker 1: very trendy. They might have read an Instagram post or

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Speaker 1: maybe part of a book on it, but not really sure.

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Speaker 1: What it is. So we're going to tell you, guys

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Speaker 1: what it is, and then we're going to go through

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Speaker 1: all nine types and give you like a snapshot overview

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Speaker 1: of each one before we get started, though, I did

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Speaker 1: get a lot of questions, and I have my own opinion,

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Speaker 1: But for you, what is the best way for people

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Speaker 1: that start getting getting into this, what's the best way

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Speaker 1: for them to figure out their type? Is it listening

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Speaker 1: to stuff like this? Is it reading? Is it taking

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Speaker 1: a test? Such a good question. There's a lot of

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Speaker 1: differing ideas. Yeah, I found out about the inneagram before

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Speaker 1: they were online tests, and so I've read books and

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Speaker 1: that was the most helpful for me. Now we live,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we live in an inneogram saturated world and

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Speaker 1: there's so many more resources. I like to say that,

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Speaker 1: you know, there are a few online indicators that I

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Speaker 1: think are very helpful, and maybe we could link those

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Speaker 1: in the show notes. I'm not sure it's a possibility,

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Speaker 1: But what I like to say is that online tests

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Speaker 1: are a great place to jump off, and they're helpful

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Speaker 1: because they can identify your top two or three types,

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Speaker 1: and then from there you can do your own self

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Speaker 1: steady and read up on those types, and I actually

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Speaker 1: do typing interviews with people, so it's a really great

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Speaker 1: way to know your type. But if you don't have

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Speaker 1: access to like a typing interview or an inneogram coach,

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Speaker 1: there's just so many great books that you can kind

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Speaker 1: of figure out your top two or three and then

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Speaker 1: spend some time just kind of living into those types

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Speaker 1: through your own self steady, go into a workshop. There's

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Speaker 1: so many online resources. I'm happy to be a resource

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Speaker 1: and to triage any questions, but I like to send

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Speaker 1: people to a couple of online tests as a jumping

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Speaker 1: off point and then encourage people to either read a book,

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Speaker 1: go to a workshop, or do a typing interview with

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Speaker 1: a coach, so we can give everybody some info on

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Speaker 1: what those are, and then obviously we'll give some contact

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Speaker 1: info for you. But some people still are probably like,

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Speaker 1: what is what are you talking about? How do you

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Speaker 1: describe what the inneagram is? I think before we get

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Speaker 1: into inneagram, we kind of need to understand what personality is.

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Speaker 1: So personality is actually derived from the Greek word persona,

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Speaker 1: which means mask. And I love this visual because it

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Speaker 1: really it helps us understand just how much we actually

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Speaker 1: wear our personalities as a mask that is very helpful

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Speaker 1: in terms of protecting us and helping us show up

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Speaker 1: in the world and a favorable light. So our personalities

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Speaker 1: are made up of a constellation of innate qualities, coping strategies,

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Speaker 1: defense mechanisms, reflexes, and affects that really do protect us

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Speaker 1: from possible harm or rejections in childhood. Right, so they

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Speaker 1: also allow us to show up in a favorable light

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Speaker 1: for our coaches, and our teachers and our friends, you know,

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Speaker 1: all the people that are important to us. So our

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Speaker 1: personalities are powerful survival strategy, and human beings are expert

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Speaker 1: in survival. I mean you know this. Over time, though,

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Speaker 1: our personalities really become the story that we live out of. Right,

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Speaker 1: It's a story that we've got memorized and that we

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Speaker 1: live out of really habitually, automatically, so much so that

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Speaker 1: other people kind of expect to encounter our personality when

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Speaker 1: they encounter us. You know, you've you've been in a

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Speaker 1: group of people, or you've come into contact with someone

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Speaker 1: and then after she leaves, you've said turned to another

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Speaker 1: friend and said, hey, what was going on with her?

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Speaker 1: She didn't seem like herself. Yes, which I feel that

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Speaker 1: deeply I might be going too far, but I feel

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Speaker 1: that deeply as a seven is I have an expectation

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Speaker 1: to always show up very on, and so if I'm

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Speaker 1: not all over the place, it's like something's wrong with me,

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Speaker 1: when really it's like, now I'm just tired. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's an expectation people have that I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: something before I'm even at the event. Absolutely, we've memorized

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Speaker 1: people's personality and we have ours memorized as well. It's

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Speaker 1: so true. Yeah, you as a seven are supposed to

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Speaker 1: bring the juice right. People know this about you, part

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Speaker 1: of your superpower. So as we mature and become adults,

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Speaker 1: obviously life gets a lot more complicated and this personality

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Speaker 1: that we really innocently gravitated to in childhood is no

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Speaker 1: longer needed in the same way, Right, don't need our

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Speaker 1: personalities in the same way that we once did for survival.

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Speaker 1: We just did an episode on Family Systems and we

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Speaker 1: talked about the family roles, and this is so much

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Speaker 1: I'm obviously just going to keep talking about myself because

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Speaker 1: that's what I can relate to. But so I was

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Speaker 1: a mascot through growing up in my family, and it

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Speaker 1: was great and it helped me survive. That helped me

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Speaker 1: get my needs met, that and all of that. And

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Speaker 1: now you're this matches up with what you're saying is

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Speaker 1: this helps me survive. Now I'm not in that same system,

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Speaker 1: but I'm still playing that role and I don't need

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Speaker 1: that role as much. Yeah, beautifully said, that's it. You're

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Speaker 1: like putting so much skin on all of this content,

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Speaker 1: which is awesome. That's exactly it. When we grow into

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Speaker 1: early adulthood all the sudden, you know, our personalities they

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Speaker 1: don't just go on strike or disappear, right, they keep growing,

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Speaker 1: They keep evolving with these expanded needs that we have

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Speaker 1: an adulthood, and so our personalities kind of start working

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Speaker 1: overtime in order to facilitate these new complexities that we're

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Speaker 1: facing in adulthood and beyond. And so the problem is

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Speaker 1: these personalities, or these kind of protective mechanisms become safety hazards,

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Speaker 1: right when we no longer differentiate between who we are

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Speaker 1: as a person, you know, the unconditioned, true essential self

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Speaker 1: and our overgrown personalities. You know, this is when we

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Speaker 1: kind of start waking up and wondering, who the hell

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Speaker 1: am I like I don't even know who I am anymore.

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Speaker 1: And that's when people pick up the fun. They call

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Speaker 1: you and they go sit on your and you know,

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Speaker 1: some kind of melt down, some kind of crisis, existential crisis,

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Speaker 1: or or some loss kind of pushes them over the

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Speaker 1: edge and they all of a sudden they need to

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Speaker 1: rediscover the truth of who they are because we've become

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Speaker 1: so attached to the personnel. So I just like to

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Speaker 1: kind of tee up the eneogram, I really understanding what

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Speaker 1: our personality is. Our personality are not bad. They're so helpful.

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Speaker 1: They're so beneficial, and we were brilliant as children to

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Speaker 1: kind of gravitate towards these personalities. The thing is children

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Speaker 1: are incredibly creative storytellers. They're just really crappy interpreters, right yea.

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Speaker 1: So we make up this personality story when we're young,

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Speaker 1: and oftentimes, carrot, we don't edit that story until well

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Speaker 1: into our adulthood one hundred percent. Which is the like

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Speaker 1: meat of what most people are doing in a therapy

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Speaker 1: office is they're going back and looking at what is

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Speaker 1: the story that I wrote, and now, like what's actually

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Speaker 1: the real story? Now that it can take a step

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Speaker 1: back from this. Yes, attachment is very similar in that

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Speaker 1: as the way we're relating to the world. We make

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Speaker 1: up all these stories and that helps us develop how

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Speaker 1: we attached to people. And that's that's very connected to personality.

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Speaker 1: And so in my office, if you've worked with me,

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Speaker 1: you have heard most of this content in the lens

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Speaker 1: of attachment and your style that way, and we're giving

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Speaker 1: you more detailed language to look at those stories, not

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Speaker 1: necessarily to this is my understanding. Understanding your aneagram type

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Speaker 1: in your personality isn't to change it. We don't. It's

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Speaker 1: not the goal is to change it. But it gives

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Speaker 1: you contacts of why am I doing that? What is

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Speaker 1: the need here that I'm trying to go after? What

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Speaker 1: am I protecting myself from? Do I still need to

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Speaker 1: do that? And so I can show up way more

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Speaker 1: authentically rather in this survival mode to get my needs met.

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Speaker 1: It's it's spot on. Yeah, that's you know the nature

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Speaker 1: of transformation. Basically every spiritual teacher throughout history has had

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Speaker 1: pretty much the same message, and it's to wake up.

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Speaker 1: That is the invitation. That's the spiritual invitation, that is

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Speaker 1: the spiritual journey, is to go from the unreal to

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Speaker 1: the real that's the appeal, and so that's exactly what's

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Speaker 1: happening transformation. At the heart of transformation is narrative. Is

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Speaker 1: us holding up, like you said, holding up our personality

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Speaker 1: story and asking ourselves, how's this working for me? And

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Speaker 1: the beauty of being a human being is that we

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Speaker 1: have an agency to change our stories. I want you

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Speaker 1: to repeat that because that's the biggest thing that people

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Speaker 1: I think they see, Oh, this is my story and

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Speaker 1: they're like, I'm stuck with this, and we don't have

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Speaker 1: to stick with it, and that sentence, we have agency

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Speaker 1: to change our story once we realize the truth. We

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Speaker 1: don't have to live in a false reality or something

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Speaker 1: that we've made up to help us survive anymore. We

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Speaker 1: have the ability to change. So what do you like then,

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Speaker 1: about using the aneagram versus There's a lot of ways

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Speaker 1: to look at your personality. And when I was in

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Speaker 1: grad school, which wasn't that long ago, we didn't talk

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Speaker 1: one bit about the inneagram. We talk about Myers Briggs.

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Speaker 1: We all to take that test, but it wasn't even mentioned,

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Speaker 1: not that it wasn't around. So what do you like

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Speaker 1: about it and why do you think it's become so huge.

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Speaker 1: That is the deal, right, I mean the inneogram. So

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Speaker 1: let me tell you what the niogram is. We've just

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Speaker 1: kind of teed it up by talking about personality. So

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Speaker 1: in essence, the neogram is this kind of a lot

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Speaker 1: of people stay it's ancient. It's actually, I mean, there

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Speaker 1: are clues of the inneagram that date back to the

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Speaker 1: fourth century as a beautiful kind of archetypal map, if

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Speaker 1: you will. Now, the modern anagram of personality really has

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Speaker 1: just gotten more momentum starting back in like the nineteen seventies.

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Speaker 1: The aneagram that we use with the nine types is

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Speaker 1: fairly new. It's a holistic personality and character typing system

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Speaker 1: that's used to deepen self awareness and understanding. And I

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Speaker 1: want to break that down for you. Basically, again personality

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Speaker 1: being derived from that Greek word meaning mask. The personality

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Speaker 1: basically is more on the surface. So when you took

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Speaker 1: the Myers Briggs that is really diving into more surface

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Speaker 1: level behavior, kind of the optics of who we are

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Speaker 1: on the surface. The character structure of each type, however,

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Speaker 1: goes deeper than personality. The character structure basically unpacks the

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Speaker 1: why behind how we think feel an act. So that

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Speaker 1: is why, to answer your question, the eneogram of personality

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Speaker 1: is a powerful tool that I love to use in

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Speaker 1: therapy because our lives and the agency that we have

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Speaker 1: to change our story has to be supported by an

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Speaker 1: understanding of our story, and the eneogram provides that. Myers Briggs,

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Speaker 1: which I think it's a great tool. I love, strengths, finders,

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Speaker 1: I love all of those are really powerful, but they

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Speaker 1: don't go beneath personality to this underlying character structure that

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Speaker 1: talks about motivations, that talks about just the why behind

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Speaker 1: who we are. So that's a powerful complexity that the

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Speaker 1: ineogram provides. And and if you look at the eneogram,

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Speaker 1: it's actually a diagram of nine points and it can

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Speaker 1: be used literally in therapy if we learn how to

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Speaker 1: use it properly as a roadmap to help us get unstuck. Essentially,

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Speaker 1: I love this quote. It's a Michelangelo quote and it says,

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Speaker 1: the sculpture is already complete within the marble block before

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Speaker 1: I start my work. Already there, I just have to

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Speaker 1: chisel away the superfluous material. And that's so good to me.

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Speaker 1: That quote is all about becoming our truest selves. Right,

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Speaker 1: everything we need we've got. That's why what you said

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Speaker 1: about deleting and replacing our personality, we're not trying to

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Speaker 1: do that. We're trying to enhance what's already there. We're

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Speaker 1: trying to connect in a very intimate way to what's

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Speaker 1: already there. You know, we were born into this world

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Speaker 1: as loving, curious beings. We were born into this world

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Speaker 1: without fear. The fear part we learned. So we have

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Speaker 1: to kind of get back to our true nature, not

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Speaker 1: by changing who we are, but by learning about and

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Speaker 1: harnessing the truest version of ourselves. And I believe that

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Speaker 1: the inneagram is the most powerful tool we have to

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Speaker 1: do that. And I think in all of what you

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Speaker 1: just said, what I'm hearing a lot of is the

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Speaker 1: inneagram is a tool, when used correctly, helps us come

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Speaker 1: back home. Like come back home. It's like we've lost

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Speaker 1: our way or I don't know, we took a turn

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Speaker 1: that whatever, but it helps us come back home. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't change us. It just helped brings us back to

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Speaker 1: who we are. Yes, that is it? So what you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't want to do that? I want? I know, I know,

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Speaker 1: I know. And again, like a lot of people misuse

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Speaker 1: this tool. You know, a lot of people misuse it

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Speaker 1: and it becomes very annoying. Yeah. I mean, I will

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Speaker 1: say I there's I used to follow a lot of

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Speaker 1: accounts and I've unfollowed them, not because I'm not interested

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Speaker 1: in the inneagram, but I'm like, well, first of all,

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Speaker 1: this isn't that doesn't describe me at all as a seven.

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Speaker 1: And now I almost have like, well I'm not a

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Speaker 1: good enough seven. But then it's like, well, why are

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Speaker 1: we doing this? Because is it to be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I know you, you're a seven, I know you? Or

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Speaker 1: is it to like it's not used to understand deeper,

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Speaker 1: it's like to assume almost Yeah, is that how you've

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Speaker 1: been seeing it? Yeah, there's a whole kind of ethics.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's a whole nother podcast conversation is the

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Speaker 1: ethics around the inneagram. There is a way to use

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Speaker 1: this and honor it. When it's used for height and

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Speaker 1: to indulge our typendencies, that is, when we abuse it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like the work. I like that. Yeah. Yeah, when

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Speaker 1: we and we when we use it to indulge our

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Speaker 1: type tendency, that is when it becomes abuse of and

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Speaker 1: misused so I just want to apologize blanket public service

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Speaker 1: announcement apology. If you have encountered this tool and it's

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Speaker 1: been misused and you've really been turned off, I do apologize.

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Speaker 1: I hope you'll give it another chance, because you know,

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Speaker 1: at the heart of self love, before we love anything

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Speaker 1: or anyone, we have to understand who they are. Before

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Speaker 1: we can love ourselves. We have to learn how to

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Speaker 1: understand ourselves. And I just believe that the inneagram is

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Speaker 1: the most powerful tool we have to help us understand

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Speaker 1: and develop more compassion for ourselves and others. And in

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Speaker 1: light of that, the enneagram teaching basically says that there

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Speaker 1: are nine core types of personality, one of which we

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Speaker 1: gravitated to early in childhood. That's not just to say

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Speaker 1: that there are only nine types of people in the world.

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Speaker 1: You are a human being before your year ineogram type.

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Speaker 1: This is just again, it's a helpful indicator that helps

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Speaker 1: you navigate. This is interesting. Like what you said about

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Speaker 1: going home to the truth of who you are, I

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Speaker 1: think is so brilliant. I think it's so true. I

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Speaker 1: like to call it a personalized roadmap for soulful self

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Speaker 1: awareness and development. You know, it's really about getting unstuck.

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Speaker 1: It's really about getting out of our own way. It's

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Speaker 1: about going home to the truth of who you are.

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Speaker 1: So yes, I love that you kind of drew that out.

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Speaker 1: It's so true for the people that are I mean,

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Speaker 1: you could be a veteran in this, or think you're

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Speaker 1: a veteran, or you're brand new to this. Now that

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Speaker 1: we know what it is, okay, so I'm gonna go

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Speaker 1: out taking some tests online, get some a couple like

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Speaker 1: core numbers that might be kind of what I gravitate

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Speaker 1: towards when they're doing this. Because what my understanding when

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Speaker 1: I first started this journey figuring out my own type,

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Speaker 1: I was told to look at it, look at the

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Speaker 1: traits and all the things. Not you now, but you.

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Speaker 1: I think it was like before you were like twenty

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Speaker 1: four or something. I might have made that up. Is

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Speaker 1: that true? What a version of you? Where is you

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Speaker 1: supposed to be thinking of? You? Know again, I think

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Speaker 1: people kind of tend to over complicate it. It's true

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Speaker 1: if you're on offense about a question that you're answering

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Speaker 1: on some type of online test and you don't know

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Speaker 1: which one is true, they say to go back to

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Speaker 1: when you're around twenty two years old, because that's when

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Speaker 1: your personality is most kind of florid, most vibrant, if

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Speaker 1: you will, That's when our personalities are really really in action.

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Speaker 1: But you know, I like to say most of the

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00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 1: good test out there they have enough questions on them

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Speaker 1: to kind of weed through what you are and what

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Speaker 1: you're not. But I think that is a good rule

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Speaker 1: of them. You know, if you're just on fens about

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Speaker 1: a question, you're like, gosh, do I do this? Or

401
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,320
Speaker 1: do I do this? You know, a good rule of

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00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 1: them is to go back to your early twenties and

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Speaker 1: what would you do? Then that's kind of a good

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Speaker 1: litmus test for what the right answer is. The ineogram

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Speaker 1: against suggests that there's nine types, nine personality types, and

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Speaker 1: those nine types of personalities are divided into three triads,

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Speaker 1: and the three triads are based in our centers of intelligence.

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Speaker 1: So the ineogram again recognizes that there's three centers of intelligence,

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Speaker 1: the mind, the heart, and the body, and they're equally

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Speaker 1: as important in terms of understanding the way we work

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Speaker 1: and understanding the world. And this is spelled out for

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Speaker 1: all the inneogram types. If you are an eight and

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Speaker 1: nine and A one, and you live in the body

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Speaker 1: or instinctual center of intelligence. If you are a two, three,

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Speaker 1: and four you live in the feelings or the heart

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Speaker 1: triad or center of intelligence. And then if you're five,

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Speaker 1: six and seven, you are in the head or mental

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Speaker 1: center of intelligence. So we're going to run through kind

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Speaker 1: of what those are, what's the breakdown, why are they imported,

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Speaker 1: and then we'll dive into tight and through nine. So

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Speaker 1: Western science in medicine has really really elevated one center

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Speaker 1: of intelligence, which is our thinking center of intelligence, of

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Speaker 1: the other two. And this goes all the way back

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Speaker 1: to kind of Descartes. I think therefore, I am this

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Speaker 1: kind of inability to separate our humanity from our head

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Speaker 1: center of intelligence. That was the elevated and it really

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Speaker 1: has been ever since center of intelligence. Yet so many

428
00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 1: ancient traditions the ngeogram included talk about three centers of intelligence.

429
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: Of course, the head center of intelligence, but the body

430
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 1: and the heart center of intelligence. And modern medicine is

431
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 1: finally catching up to this ancient wisdom as they've found

432
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:18,920
Speaker 1: neural cells basically in the linings of our stomachs and

433
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 1: our hearts, so we have brain cells in our brain

434
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,240
Speaker 1: but also in our heart and in our guts. That's

435
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 1: so cool and that cool It excites me so much

436
00:25:29,359 --> 00:25:33,479
Speaker 1: that kind of Western psychology and medicine we're catching up

437
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: to this ancient wisdom that really honors the body center

438
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: of intelligence as wisdom and the emotional center of intelligence

439
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: as wisdom as well. So it's it's so cool because

440
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:51,760
Speaker 1: the eneogram teaches that basically part of self development and

441
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,359
Speaker 1: self understanding is to understand what center of intelligence you

442
00:25:56,920 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: operate from and how to balance out your relationship with

443
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 1: all three centers. And one's not better than the other,

444
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,560
Speaker 1: right see, And one's what I like is that one

445
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,639
Speaker 1: is not better than the other. There's three and they're equal.

446
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,400
Speaker 1: You just lean towards one more than others. Absolutely. So

447
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 1: as of four, I very much experience the world through

448
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: my heart center of intelligence. You know, my feelings, have feelings.

449
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 1: I can feel something at the drop of a hat,

450
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 1: right that tends to be where I'm out of balance.

451
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 1: And so the goal is not to turn down that

452
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: emotional center, it's to dial up the other two. So

453
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: I need to connect more to the analytical skills and

454
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 1: the fact checking the logical part of your brain. Logical

455
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 1: part of my brains as well as connecting to this

456
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:53,480
Speaker 1: grounded center of intelligence with the instinctual center. So getting

457
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: into my body, getting into my kind of thinking mind

458
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: a little bit more. I can't feel my way to

459
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 1: a deadline, right right, I got to enlist these other

460
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: two triads or centers of intelligence. You know. Helen Palmer,

461
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 1: who is one of the founders of the Narrative Indiogram

462
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,479
Speaker 1: school that I did my training at. She likes to

463
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 1: say that body types need to get more into their hearts,

464
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 1: heart types need to get more into their heads, and

465
00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 1: head types need to get more into their bodies. So

466
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 1: it's probably a little bit oversimplified, but it's I think

467
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 1: it's a really great place to start in terms of

468
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 1: actually using the inniogram for application. I've never heard somebody

469
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: describe stuff. Maybe I just haven't heard it that way,

470
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: but in the sense that this isn't just to say

471
00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 1: that like you are a body type or you are this.

472
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: It's to say this is where you lean the most,

473
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,880
Speaker 1: and you need more of the others. I've always heard

474
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,040
Speaker 1: it as almost not a death sentence, but kind of

475
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 1: like this is you. You're in the heart triad, so

476
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: this is how you are rather than I just want

477
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,040
Speaker 1: you to know you're in the heart triad, because that's

478
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: a clue to tell you you're good on that you

479
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 1: need to lean on these other parts a little bit

480
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,000
Speaker 1: more totally. I like the way you explain that. And

481
00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: you know, every triad has one type that typically overdoes

482
00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 1: that center. I'll continue to put myself on the operating table.

483
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: But in the heart triad, fours tend to overdo their emotion,

484
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 1: threes tend to kind of repress their emotion, and twos

485
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: tend to kind of underdo it or you know, kind

486
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 1: of stuff it and put on a happy face. And

487
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 1: so even within your triad, kind of like in the

488
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,640
Speaker 1: body triad too, like eights tend to kind of overdo

489
00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: their anger, nines tend to forget their anger. You know,

490
00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,320
Speaker 1: ones are kind of in repression with their anger. So

491
00:28:41,600 --> 00:28:47,120
Speaker 1: even within their our triads, there is a fine tuning

492
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 1: of our relationship with that center of intelligence. So, yes,

493
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 1: you're right, it is a balancing both within the triad

494
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: and within the other triads in our relationship all the

495
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: way around. It's just really fascinating. And like I said,

496
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,840
Speaker 1: the heart triad is made up of two threes and fours,

497
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: the head triad five, sixes, and sevens, in the body

498
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: triad eights, nines, and ones, and type eight is kind

499
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 1: of where I jump off in terms of unpacking each type.

500
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 1: So we'll start at the top of the diagram with

501
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: type eight, often called the challenger, often called the protector.

502
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 1: Eight's attention goes to who's got the control. Eights are

503
00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: self confident, decisive, willful, oftentimes confrontational, and they are kind

504
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 1: of their unconscious motivation is the need to protect themselves

505
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:45,920
Speaker 1: and others, to avoid being controlled, and to pave their

506
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 1: own way in life. They're obviously very one of the

507
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 1: assertive types, and they're very self referencing. They seek justice.

508
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 1: So you know, eights get a bad rap. Yeah, because

509
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: especially eight women, because they cann be a little rough

510
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 1: around the edges, and you know, they do like to challenge,

511
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 1: but it's typically out of justice. Yeah, they do have

512
00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 1: a real pulse on justice and the good of all

513
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 1: they're they're really trying to affect change for the good

514
00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 1: of the marginalized or the weak, and so gosh, I

515
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 1: think eights tend to be the most misunderstood. Yeah, well,

516
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: you know, I think it was in and crons the

517
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: Road back to you. I think it was in that

518
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: his book. That was when I was reading The Eights,

519
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 1: it said that Eight's view confrontation as intimacy. So where

520
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 1: some people are like, oh my gosh, I can't believe

521
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 1: they're like, I was feeling really close to you, and

522
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,320
Speaker 1: somebody else can interpret that, especially if you're not an

523
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: eight as I can't believe them, like whatever, if they

524
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: really don't like confrontation, but really that's their way to

525
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 1: feel close or express love in the form of justice seeking. Yeah,

526
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 1: it totally is. Your love language is just shooting straight

527
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: from the hip. It's it's not beating around the bush.

528
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: You know. That doesn't feel loving to them? You're I think, yeah,

529
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 1: I love that. I think I remember reading that totally.

530
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:13,520
Speaker 1: What it doesn't feel loving to be passive aggressive? Probably

531
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 1: is that fit or just passive in general, They're going

532
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: to be direct because that's the way they show love,

533
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: and a lot of people think that a way to

534
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:26,000
Speaker 1: show love is to avoid, which isn't better. It's not better, No,

535
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: not at all. It's not better. It's not better. And

536
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: we have to remember again, if we're looking at the story,

537
00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,160
Speaker 1: the personality story, Yeah, eight, so a lot of time

538
00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: had to grow up before the rest of us. You know,

539
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,080
Speaker 1: they had to they were really young when they had

540
00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: to grow up. They had to be strong, they had

541
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,080
Speaker 1: to be tough, They had to care for other people

542
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,719
Speaker 1: and take care of other people, including themselves. So they

543
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,360
Speaker 1: didn't have the luxury of this kind of childlike innocence,

544
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: or so they think. So that is again it's their

545
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: survival and how they it's how they communicate. It's just

546
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,600
Speaker 1: the way they learned, right, And you know, they bring

547
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 1: big energy into the room and they use that energy

548
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: really to affect change. I always say, if you want

549
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: to start a new business partner with an eight, they

550
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: just get they get stuff done, and they're incredibly efficient.

551
00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:26,760
Speaker 1: They do fear being harmed, controlled, or betrayed. To portrayal

552
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,959
Speaker 1: is a big deal for them. They value independence and

553
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: resist again being indebted to anyone. So when they're healthy,

554
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: they are natural leaders and they have a really solid

555
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: commanding presence and they just they just fiercely protect their people.

556
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:46,400
Speaker 1: And I think there might be fear in relationships with

557
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: an eight, but also if it's a healthy relationship, it

558
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 1: sounds like that person would be thinking by your side

559
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,959
Speaker 1: and fighting for you. And helping you make your dreams

560
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: come true. I could be making that up, but so

561
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 1: it sounds like, yeah, no, you're not making that up,

562
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: not at all. All. You know, their their invitation is

563
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,440
Speaker 1: to connect to their own vulnerability, you know, because that's

564
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: what they had to survive, not being able to do

565
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,440
Speaker 1: at such a young age. So can the invitation, you know,

566
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: the passionate type eight. The emotional pattern they get stuck

567
00:33:15,680 --> 00:33:17,800
Speaker 1: in is lust. And I don't mean lust in a

568
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:22,040
Speaker 1: sexual sense. It's just kind of this lust, this intensity

569
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: for life, and they you know, along the way, they

570
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: lose touch with their innocence and vulnerability. So connecting back

571
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: to that that vulnerability is part of the work of

572
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: an eighth. So would you say, what's hard about being

573
00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,520
Speaker 1: an eight? Is the I mean, would you say fear

574
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,240
Speaker 1: of vulnerability or difficulty being vulnerable? Like, what's tough about

575
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 1: being an eight? I mean, I think there's there's a

576
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: lot of things. I think people misunderstand eights a lot

577
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: of times. Again, especially women. You know, if you're a

578
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,520
Speaker 1: guy and you're an eight in a boardroom, you're you're

579
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 1: a strong leader. If you're a woman and you're a

580
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: strong eight, and you know in a borderroom. You're a

581
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:03,160
Speaker 1: bit right, and so I think you know eights have

582
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: well obviously, like we all do, they have vulnerable parts

583
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: of who they are, but they just they have been

584
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:13,320
Speaker 1: conditioned to not access those parts or show them to anyone.

585
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: So that is that is hard, you know, always having

586
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:19,760
Speaker 1: to be strong. I work with so many amazing eight

587
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: women clients who just are exhausted. They're exhausted, they are

588
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 1: so tired of being strong, They're so tired of pressing

589
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 1: the needle forward, and they a lot of times they

590
00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,320
Speaker 1: just don't feel like they have the luxury to relax.

591
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,640
Speaker 1: So I like the idea of the invitation for an eight.

592
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 1: So something that they might need to hear is it's

593
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,720
Speaker 1: okay to be vulnerable, It's okay to let your guard down,

594
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 1: something like that, to connect with those softer parts, to

595
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 1: show the world those softer parts. Yeah, because we want

596
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,399
Speaker 1: to see them, or I do I want to leave

597
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 1: the soft parts, you know, type nines moving moving forward,

598
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 1: often called the mediator or the peacemaker. Wait, I gotta

599
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: say this because it's just funny. I put out a

600
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: question on Instagram that said, what do you want to

601
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,080
Speaker 1: know at the inneagram? What are your questions, and multiple

602
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 1: people this is not I did not expect this. Multiple

603
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,720
Speaker 1: people said why is nine the best number? And usually

604
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 1: it's like talk about my seventh the best number, but

605
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,000
Speaker 1: so many nines were like one. I got more questions

606
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 1: about nine than any but multiple people are like talk

607
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: about why nines are the best, and I'm like, that's

608
00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:27,840
Speaker 1: kind I like that so great. They are so beloved,

609
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 1: just like sevens. You know, I've heard different theories, but

610
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: I've just heard people also say that there's more not

611
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: type nines than any other type. I don't know if

612
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:40,040
Speaker 1: that plays into it, but oh yeah, nines are just

613
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:43,719
Speaker 1: they're so lovable, you know. Their attention always kind of

614
00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,560
Speaker 1: goes to the agenda of others and how to keep

615
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:54,359
Speaker 1: the peace. Obviously, they're easy going, self effacing, laid back, receptive, agreeable,

616
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 1: they're motivated. This unconscious motivation is, you know, the need

617
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 1: to kind of avoid to avoid pain, avoid confrontation, to

618
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,400
Speaker 1: keep the peace for themselves and others. They see the

619
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 1: value and everyone's point of view. That's why a lot

620
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: of times they are called the mediator. And I think

621
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,880
Speaker 1: a lot of people feel seen by type minds, right minds.

622
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: I'm married to a nine, and he just doesn't have

623
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:24,320
Speaker 1: really he's also a drummer, so he just he feels

624
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,879
Speaker 1: fine in the background, you know, like he doesn't need

625
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 1: to be in the limelight. He doesn't need you know,

626
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 1: all eyes on him. He's very very conscientious about checking

627
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,080
Speaker 1: in with you know, kind of the least of these

628
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: and just finding out how he can. You know, they

629
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 1: can feel more at ease. Their belief is that you

630
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 1: are good or okay as long as others around you

631
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 1: are good or okay. So they do tend to be

632
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 1: spiritually very very grounded, and they're healthy and definitely grounded

633
00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:58,160
Speaker 1: in the physical world. Can be very steady energy wise,

634
00:36:58,680 --> 00:37:01,920
Speaker 1: and you know obviously an and healthy levels. Nines can

635
00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: have a real trouble making decisions. They can become lazy

636
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 1: to their own self development. They can become overly dependent

637
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,759
Speaker 1: on the agendas of other people. You know, they can

638
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: tend to kind of narc out and none out more

639
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:21,280
Speaker 1: than any other kind of the prototype right for coming

640
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 1: we all numb, but they are kind of the prototype

641
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:26,319
Speaker 1: for it. And I mean in any specific ways or

642
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 1: is just anything. I think it just depends like a

643
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: lot of like TV can be a big number have

644
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: heard people say video games, sleep can be a number comfort.

645
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 1: They said this at the at the narrative training that

646
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,920
Speaker 1: I went through. They're like, comfort is not your friend

647
00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: as a nine, right, Like, for a lot of people,

648
00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:48,600
Speaker 1: comfort is a way of kind of self care, etc.

649
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,359
Speaker 1: But for the nine, you know, they tend to kind

650
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:55,080
Speaker 1: of overdo comfort and indulge comfort so much so that

651
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 1: they will kind of fall asleep to the world around them.

652
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,799
Speaker 1: What's the deal with a nine and anger? Because they

653
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: act like they don't care. This is a generalization, but obviously,

654
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 1: but they act like they don't care about a lot

655
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 1: of stuff. But what what do they do with their anger?

656
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: How is it? How are they processing it? Are they

657
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 1: falling asleep to their anger and numbing their anger? Falling

658
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:16,360
Speaker 1: asleep to their anger? Because if they were to access

659
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:21,319
Speaker 1: their anger, that could threaten their connection to other people, right,

660
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 1: that would threaten their their unconscious motivation of keeping the

661
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:29,120
Speaker 1: peace right. So of course they have anger, but they

662
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:31,439
Speaker 1: just kind of fall asleep to it. You know, if

663
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 1: you ask a nine when the last time they got

664
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:37,320
Speaker 1: angry was, they'd probably tell you, like in twenty sixteen

665
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 1: or something. Like. They can go a long time without

666
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,279
Speaker 1: really accessing it. But I believe that they're kind of

667
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,520
Speaker 1: the spiritual work. The deeper work for the type nine

668
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 1: is to access anger and health because we talk about

669
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:54,880
Speaker 1: feelings all the time on this podcast, and anger is

670
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,680
Speaker 1: one of my favorite feelings because it shows us what

671
00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,919
Speaker 1: we want, It shows us, it brings justice to situations,

672
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: and it lets us know that we have boundaries. And

673
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 1: so would the invitation to a nine be just that

674
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: of like to like allow themselves to feel that anger

675
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 1: so it eates feels vulnerable, and then a nine would

676
00:39:12,280 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: be like get angry. Yeah, I mean I think eights,

677
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 1: I mean nines and ones have a tricky relationship with anger.

678
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:20,839
Speaker 1: We'll talk about that when we talk about one here

679
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,040
Speaker 1: in a second, But yeah, I think probably. I know

680
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 1: for myself really anger is at the heart of it

681
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:32,000
Speaker 1: is passion, and that to me is the most beautiful

682
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: state of any nine. Like when they get passionate about

683
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:38,319
Speaker 1: something and they find their voice and they use it.

684
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:43,200
Speaker 1: That is to me when I feel most attracted to nines,

685
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,040
Speaker 1: and I feel like, wow, I want to shut up

686
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:50,320
Speaker 1: because you're talking and you don't. You don't waste or

687
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 1: mens words very often, you know, So I think part

688
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 1: of connecting with the deeper fears around anger, you know, unpacking.

689
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 1: Like if if you and I were to work with

690
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 1: a nine, a type nine client, you know, maybe part

691
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:10,040
Speaker 1: of what we would work through is exploring their relationship

692
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 1: with anger, you know, exploring kind of how they came

693
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 1: to that relationship with anger and then really providing some

694
00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:22,440
Speaker 1: safe space to access that anger so that no tie

695
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 1: will be severed and we see them and just the

696
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:29,680
Speaker 1: same light and beauty as we once did. Right. It's

697
00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 1: the lot, that kind of the lot that glues their

698
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 1: character structure together, this kind of belief that they make

699
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: up in their head that I'm only okay or loved

700
00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 1: if I can keep the peace. We're trying to invite

701
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:46,799
Speaker 1: and and and support our nines to live beyond that. Yeah,

702
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 1: they just don't learn that conflict can happen and there

703
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,719
Speaker 1: can be repair. Yes, beautiful way of seeing it. So

704
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:57,759
Speaker 1: Type one again about the last body. Type nines, if

705
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,200
Speaker 1: we want to jump into anger again, nine tend to

706
00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 1: push down their anger, or they tend to show their

707
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 1: anger as frustration or resentment because anger for a Type

708
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: one is seen as kind of a bad emotion and

709
00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,799
Speaker 1: they don't want to be bad and the unconscious motivation

710
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:20,440
Speaker 1: is to be seen as right and good for a

711
00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:24,839
Speaker 1: Type one, So if they were to become angry and

712
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 1: give way to that anger again, that could threaten their

713
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,399
Speaker 1: you know, this belief that they hold so tightly that

714
00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 1: they have to be good, they have to be right,

715
00:41:35,560 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: and that is that's not good and right. Anger is

716
00:41:39,040 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 1: not a good emotion. It's not so when ones look,

717
00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: do they look happy all the time? Well or no,

718
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 1: they look frustrated. They tend to be a little bit

719
00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:51,480
Speaker 1: more serious, okay, but they kind of express their anger

720
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 1: as frustration. They look really head types a lot of times.

721
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: It's almost like if you if I were to ask it,

722
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 1: are you angry? They'd be like, no, I'm annoyed. It's

723
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 1: like I'm not. They won't go that deep. They won't

724
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:05,800
Speaker 1: they won't give way to that kind of full expression

725
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,640
Speaker 1: of anger. Okay. So it's part of their deep inner

726
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 1: work too, is to kind of repair that relationship with anger,

727
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:18,959
Speaker 1: because what happens is, you know, they can kind of repress, repress, repress, repress, forget,

728
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 1: forget you know whatever, and fly off the handle, you know,

729
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 1: go to that impaired state, which is rage. Their attention

730
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 1: Type ones often called the reformer. A lot of people

731
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,640
Speaker 1: know type ones as the perfectionist, although gosh, I don't

732
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,399
Speaker 1: know about you, but I meet so many ones that

733
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: just don't see themselves as perfection Yeah, and that throw

734
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,279
Speaker 1: I think that's what throws a lot of people off

735
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: when it comes to one. They're like, no, I'm not

736
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 1: we're not organized, or I'm not this, or I'm not that,

737
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,759
Speaker 1: or I don't have to have everything in line, and

738
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 1: so they just throw that type out the window when

739
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 1: it really might be who they are. Yeah, that's why

740
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:55,280
Speaker 1: I love to just encourage people. Don't decide you're type

741
00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 1: based on the name of the time. I like to

742
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 1: just call it type you know, type type one, type two,

743
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: type three instead of the perfections. Yeah, because they really

744
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:08,880
Speaker 1: can be misleading. But yeah, their attention goes to what's

745
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,799
Speaker 1: missing or wrong in a room and how to improve it. Right.

746
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,839
Speaker 1: A lot of some people call them the improvers, how

747
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:22,640
Speaker 1: to improve what's already there. They're super rational, super organized, idealistic, purposeful.

748
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,359
Speaker 1: They can be really characterized by this need to be

749
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 1: good and virtuous and in balance and integrity is a

750
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,120
Speaker 1: huge word for Type one, which I need lots of

751
00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: ones in my life as a seven. Right, They're so

752
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: helpful bring you into balance, you feel it? Yeah, well,

753
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: and just like my head is going seventeen different directions

754
00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: and they can almost help like balance, I guess center

755
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,720
Speaker 1: me where I'm like, I don't care about that. Sometimes

756
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 1: they're like, well you should care because this helps this

757
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:53,839
Speaker 1: part of this. They just see things I don't have

758
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: that ability to see. Yeah, that's really interesting. I love

759
00:43:57,800 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 1: hearing that. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. That

760
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 1: is a resource point for you in terms of like

761
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 1: your flow line to the one. You know. They The

762
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 1: flip side of that is they can be super overly critical,

763
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,600
Speaker 1: and I think of all the types, they have the

764
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 1: most violent inner critic. And you know, this unconscious belief

765
00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 1: that they have is like you must be good and

766
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: right to be worthy. There's a lot of shame. I

767
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: feel like associated too. Which type type ones? Oftentimes? You know,

768
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,880
Speaker 1: they're just highly conscientious, responsible, Like if I ever have

769
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 1: brain surgery, I really want to type one as my

770
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 1: nerves origin hands down. Why do you think that like childhood,

771
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,800
Speaker 1: is there one specific or main childhood wound that gets

772
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 1: hit for these people that fall into the one category

773
00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:46,759
Speaker 1: or is it more of a belief system of I'm

774
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 1: not good enough. Yeah, I think I think that. You know,

775
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,239
Speaker 1: there's a lot of rigidity, a lot of you know,

776
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 1: sometimes not measuring up at a really small age, a

777
00:44:56,200 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 1: lot of times being brought up and highly structured, highly

778
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 1: rigid oftentimes maybe military households where the emphasis was a

779
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: lot around, maybe legalism, just a lot of a lot

780
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:15,879
Speaker 1: of rules, a lot of early responsibility. What's their take

781
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:20,160
Speaker 1: on vulnerability? Is that seen as good or bad or scary?

782
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:23,279
Speaker 1: What does vulnerability look like? Typically? I think a lot

783
00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:26,920
Speaker 1: of ones in a way probably weren't allowed to be

784
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:31,160
Speaker 1: super vulnerable either, and so this kind of zipped up

785
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,839
Speaker 1: persona that they they really let on and lead with

786
00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 1: doesn't leave a lot of room again for the kind

787
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: of softer, squishy parts that could easily be wounded. You know,

788
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 1: there's a lot of armoring up, you know, for the

789
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: type one as well. I always love to encourage type

790
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:56,880
Speaker 1: ones to think in terms of excellence rather than perfection,

791
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:02,399
Speaker 1: and you know, doing your best but not making it

792
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 1: about perfection. You know, it's what if that you know

793
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 1: that quote is it Hemmingway or somebody that says and

794
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,239
Speaker 1: now that you don't have to be perfect you can

795
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,240
Speaker 1: be good, you know. I think it is from east

796
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 1: of Eden. But now that you don't have to be perfect,

797
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 1: you can be good, you know, like it's okay you

798
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,880
Speaker 1: don't have to make up your bed every single day

799
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: in the morning right when you get out of bed.

800
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:27,359
Speaker 1: You know, you can be five minutes late every once

801
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:29,000
Speaker 1: in a while. We're still going to love you and

802
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 1: be here for you. Yeah, you know, I've heard multiple

803
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 1: times that people who struggle with eating disorders fall in

804
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 1: line with this type of the most. Have you found

805
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:41,399
Speaker 1: that to be true or is that just something that's

806
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 1: floating on the internet. I've never read that, but I

807
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: could see that being true. There's more restrictive type of

808
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 1: an eating disorder, okay. I mean there's things that you've

809
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,399
Speaker 1: said in every single number we've gone through so far

810
00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,880
Speaker 1: that would lead somebody to any type of addiction. And

811
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 1: I view a neating disorder as a process addiction, and

812
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 1: so it could be anything but this very like perfectionist sick.

813
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 1: Need to look this way, I need to look the

814
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:06,440
Speaker 1: part probably falls more into they're more susceptible, which correct

815
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong. Sevens go to one when they're

816
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 1: in unhealth, right, Well, I have a little bit of

817
00:47:12,719 --> 00:47:16,319
Speaker 1: a different take. Oh there, it is called for a

818
00:47:16,320 --> 00:47:18,799
Speaker 1: lot of people call that like the stress point. Yeah,

819
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 1: type seven. I think it's just a resource point, right, Okay,

820
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:26,720
Speaker 1: you know when you start to get overly critical and perfectionistic,

821
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 1: you know, that's a wake up call, that's an invitation

822
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: to practice some self compassion, love, be direct. Right. So

823
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 1: I don't love the like disintegration integration language. I see

824
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,800
Speaker 1: every flow line and arrow as a resource, resource point.

825
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:49,880
Speaker 1: So you know, I think that absolutely Type ones provide

826
00:47:49,960 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 1: like that type. You know, if you really glean from

827
00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 1: the higher side of the type one, you bring a

828
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:02,360
Speaker 1: lot of you know, organization and follow through, and you

829
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 1: can glean so much from that type. Also, it's a

830
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:12,640
Speaker 1: great red flashing light you to say, oh wow, there

831
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:15,400
Speaker 1: I go again. I'm doing that thing. I'm being overly

832
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 1: critical of myself or others. I'm tending towards some perfectionism.

833
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:23,040
Speaker 1: I need to choose something different. So I think it's

834
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 1: a great resource. So good one triad. Shall we go

835
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,960
Speaker 1: for the next Yeah, let's let's dive into the heart

836
00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: triad two Threason four's Type twos often known as the helper,

837
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 1: known as the befriender. Their attention goes to connections or

838
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 1: alliances with people. They are the most relational people on

839
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,360
Speaker 1: the eneogram. Their attention goes to how can I be

840
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 1: liked right? How can I be accepted and loved? Um

841
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:57,160
Speaker 1: They're carrying relational generous people can be people pleasing and

842
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:01,400
Speaker 1: often possessive as well. Type twos are driven by the

843
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,760
Speaker 1: needs to be needed. That's their unconscious motivation in life,

844
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:08,479
Speaker 1: and they feel way more comfortable giving than receiving. They're

845
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:12,200
Speaker 1: often totally unaware of their needs and how to get

846
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,760
Speaker 1: their needs met. That is, if you have a loved

847
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,399
Speaker 1: one in your life, that's a type to ask them

848
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,680
Speaker 1: what they need every single day. Be curious about their

849
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:25,839
Speaker 1: needs and desires. Twos really often suffer from poor boundaries

850
00:49:26,200 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 1: because they know themselves so much. In relation to people

851
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:35,280
Speaker 1: and unhealthy spaces, Type twos can be codependent and manipulative.

852
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: Have you seen that show on Netflix? Dead to Me?

853
00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: Have you watched that? Oh my gosh, it's such a

854
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 1: good series, but there is one of the main characters

855
00:49:46,160 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 1: is the poster child for an unhealthy too, So it's yeah, anyway,

856
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: I'll just leave that there. They can often kind of

857
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:57,399
Speaker 1: play the role of the martyr and healthy levels though.

858
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 1: Type twos are Gosh, they are the people that we

859
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: are most drawn to. They are just so incredibly lovable

860
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:11,399
Speaker 1: and kind and warm, compassionate and just intrinsically generous. They

861
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:15,759
Speaker 1: just are such such beautiful people inside and out. I mean,

862
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 1: it's it's just amazing. I feel so my life feels

863
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,759
Speaker 1: so much richer with my Type two friends. What I've

864
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 1: heard their superpower is they can walk into a room

865
00:50:26,040 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 1: and they can sense out like who needs something, like

866
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 1: they just know, which can be really hard too, because

867
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:37,320
Speaker 1: I don't have that superpower, and I can walk into

868
00:50:37,360 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 1: a room and totally miss what somebody needs. And so

869
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: if you are too, and you're somebody who can walk

870
00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:44,920
Speaker 1: into a room and be like, oh, this person needs this,

871
00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:47,839
Speaker 1: it can be somewhat frustrating that nobody's doing that back

872
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,360
Speaker 1: to you because it makes sense in your head. Yeah,

873
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:53,840
Speaker 1: and a lot of times where Type twos get into trouble,

874
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 1: like you said, they give with the expectation of giving

875
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:04,239
Speaker 1: in return, either of quality time or some kind of reciprocity. So, yeah,

876
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 1: tooth can get into trouble. You know. Part of the

877
00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:09,360
Speaker 1: encouragement and the work for Type twos is just to

878
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:13,760
Speaker 1: have boundaries around your generosity and to give without an agenda.

879
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: That's where some of the manipulation can come in to focus.

880
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:20,040
Speaker 1: As part of the feeling or heart triad. You know,

881
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:24,040
Speaker 1: the relationship. The dominant emotion in the heart triad is

882
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:28,520
Speaker 1: sadness and grief, and so you know two's part of

883
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:30,320
Speaker 1: their work is to get in touch with their sadness

884
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,440
Speaker 1: and grief because they tend to be really cheery. Oftentimes

885
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 1: that's reductive to say that they all are, but they

886
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 1: oftentimes do appear and present as really upbeat and positive

887
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 1: a lot like sevens acsessing sadness and grief could again

888
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 1: threaten that connection to other people, you know, it can

889
00:51:48,320 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 1: be off putting or so they think. So connecting to

890
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 1: that those emotions is part of the deep work or

891
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:57,560
Speaker 1: Type twos, as well as really connecting to their own

892
00:51:57,600 --> 00:52:02,360
Speaker 1: personal and emotional needs. Type three is the achiever and

893
00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:07,200
Speaker 1: type threes are gosh, they are kind of like the

894
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 1: Arabian horse of the aneogram, right, they know how to

895
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:16,040
Speaker 1: go there. They're quite something. You know. Their attention goes

896
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:19,600
Speaker 1: to how to appear successful, and how to appear successful

897
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 1: like seamlessly and what tasks need to be accomplished to

898
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:30,240
Speaker 1: appear successful. Right, So obviously success oriented, goal oriented. They're

899
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 1: very adaptable, They're very very driven. They're probably the most

900
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 1: image conscious people on the inneogram. Their unconscious motivation is

901
00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 1: the need to achieve, the need to succeed. Threes are

902
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 1: like the stars of the enneagram and the healthy spaces.

903
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,840
Speaker 1: They are really looked up to for their personal accomplishments

904
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 1: and their graciousness. However, when threes are super you know,

905
00:52:55,920 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 1: an unhealthy spaces, they can almost become kind of narcissi,

906
00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:03,879
Speaker 1: a stick and a little too hell bent on success

907
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:07,280
Speaker 1: and kind of become shallow. Is it they want to

908
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:11,360
Speaker 1: be successful or look successful? Okay, I think to do

909
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 1: with success they want and you know, they're not afraid

910
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 1: to work to get there. These are the people that

911
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 1: you know, literally like it's hard for them to go

912
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:23,439
Speaker 1: on vacation without taking their laptop because work is fun.

913
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 1: Work equals fun for them, and so they have a

914
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:31,479
Speaker 1: hard time separating out work from life. And yeah, they

915
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 1: just gosh and they have a lot a lot of energy.

916
00:53:34,840 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 1: They live by the mantra you are good or okay

917
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 1: as long as you appear successful and others think well

918
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 1: of you, and we all know kind of the problems

919
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 1: how that can become really problematic. They have a huge

920
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 1: love need, right they believe, and as do really all

921
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 1: the heart type that a huge love need that did

922
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:58,399
Speaker 1: not talk about attachment did not get met in childhood.

923
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 1: Garnering the love and approval of whoever they're with by

924
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 1: appearing successful is just where their attention goes all the time.

925
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,839
Speaker 1: How do they deal with they're feelings? They basically serve

926
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,440
Speaker 1: as a speed bump, you know, right, Like emotions are

927
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 1: kind of like a speedbump. They just kind of slow

928
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:18,560
Speaker 1: them down. Yeah, it's like annoying totally. But threes are

929
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:23,160
Speaker 1: so feeling. They absolutely are feelers. They just don't feel

930
00:54:23,640 --> 00:54:27,239
Speaker 1: necessarily safe accessing those because they it's almost like if

931
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 1: I do, I'll be overtaken. Yeah, they don't. They need

932
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 1: to understand learn how to kind of manage their emotional experience,

933
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 1: go in and out without feeling like they're going to

934
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:40,399
Speaker 1: be overwhelmed. I mean, I think that's probably a good

935
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 1: thing for all of us to do. But yes, threes

936
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:48,080
Speaker 1: very much downplay their emotions. But this does not mean

937
00:54:48,120 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 1: there's a myth that they're not emotional. That's that's that's

938
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:56,279
Speaker 1: not true. They're definitely feelers. They just distance themselves from

939
00:54:56,320 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 1: their feelings really for survival because success is is survival

940
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: for them, and feelings are not there, They're going to

941
00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 1: slow down that that process, that trajectory moving into fours.

942
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 1: With a lot of fours in your life, I don't

943
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:13,000
Speaker 1: have a lot of fours in my life, a lot

944
00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 1: of four clients, But I just feel like you said,

945
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,920
Speaker 1: eights are misunderstood. I feel like fours are so misunderstood.

946
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,719
Speaker 1: I think you're right, and that's a big fear that

947
00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:27,720
Speaker 1: type fours have. Fours are especially very misunderstood in relationships. Yeah,

948
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: I mean we can be pretty difficult. I'm not gonna

949
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 1: lie like four really really tough. I mean we can

950
00:55:33,000 --> 00:55:36,239
Speaker 1: all be tough. But I do think the drama component

951
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:39,560
Speaker 1: of fours in relationship, if they're not operating in a

952
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 1: healthy space, can be really difficult. And hire some type

953
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: fours the attention they're called the romantic or idealist, oftentimes

954
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 1: oftentimes the artist. That's I think that one of the

955
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,879
Speaker 1: main myths for type fours that they're all creative, which

956
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:59,520
Speaker 1: I think their self expression as a very high as

957
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:05,160
Speaker 1: a valuable part of their experience and something they highly

958
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 1: highly value self expression. But their attention goes to kind

959
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:11,720
Speaker 1: of like kind of like the type ones, their attention

960
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 1: goes to what's missing in the moment or how this

961
00:56:14,239 --> 00:56:17,479
Speaker 1: moment could be better or more perfect, you know, and

962
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:20,399
Speaker 1: it's kind of like the grass is always greener. Type

963
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:24,319
Speaker 1: fours really fall into that rut. They also their you know,

964
00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,719
Speaker 1: their attention goes to what can be negative in the

965
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:32,720
Speaker 1: present moment. So yeah, it can be a real drag sensitive, creative,

966
00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 1: oftentimes pretty withdrawn, expressive, dramatic moody. Ours can be very,

967
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,880
Speaker 1: very moody and very motivated by this need to be

968
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,919
Speaker 1: special and stand out and find significance, you know, kind

969
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: of beauty and path is sorry, that's my one year

970
00:56:51,120 --> 00:56:55,600
Speaker 1: old and their squealing. Often called like the individualist type

971
00:56:55,640 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 1: ours really have this need to maintain their identity and

972
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:04,480
Speaker 1: by seeing themselves as as fundamentally different and that doesn't

973
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 1: necessarily mean different in a good way, just different, kind

974
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 1: of flawed and deficient. Fours have just this rich emotional life,

975
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:18,200
Speaker 1: interior life. They can also really indulge those emotions and

976
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: fall prey to hyper you know, introspection and self absorption. Really,

977
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:28,080
Speaker 1: if we're not careful, they can again fixate on what's missing,

978
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:32,479
Speaker 1: and this they're characterized by this deep sense of longing, right,

979
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 1: this longing for beauty and longing for wholeness and union

980
00:57:38,280 --> 00:57:41,440
Speaker 1: with either a place or a person or an ideal situation.

981
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:44,800
Speaker 1: There's this again pervasive feeling, like you said, of being

982
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 1: misunderstood for fours, which can really result in isolation. So,

983
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:52,760
Speaker 1: like you said, I think a lot of depression anxiety.

984
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 1: It's very common for Type fours to experience that along

985
00:57:56,840 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 1: the way. They do have strong kind of esthetics instabilities.

986
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,560
Speaker 1: They pride themselves in that they pride themselves on being

987
00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:09,160
Speaker 1: extraordinary kind of avoiding anything to basic or pedestrian. Right,

988
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:12,360
Speaker 1: I mean again, I'm hearing myself talk and I'm cringing.

989
00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:17,000
Speaker 1: We can be lovely people, but no, so yes, those

990
00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:20,360
Speaker 1: are tell me what you're kind of experience with Type

991
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:24,400
Speaker 1: wars as clients, Well, well, I mean emotional. But then

992
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:26,880
Speaker 1: I think the hard time is accepting that this is

993
00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:30,320
Speaker 1: a good part of them, because I see a lot

994
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:33,000
Speaker 1: of the beauty in the world like they're disdained towards,

995
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 1: like basicness helps create a lot of what makes our

996
00:58:36,520 --> 00:58:39,360
Speaker 1: world so great and what keeps us moving, So we're

997
00:58:39,360 --> 00:58:41,600
Speaker 1: not all staying the same because there's fours out there

998
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 1: being like I don't want to be that way, so

999
00:58:43,680 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 1: and then they create a trend, and then we go

1000
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 1: to that trend, and then they create a new trend.

1001
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:50,280
Speaker 1: And so I think it's hard sometimes the labels that

1002
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 1: the world puts on somebody just from the characteristics of

1003
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 1: the four type. But rather than being like, oh I

1004
00:58:56,520 --> 00:58:58,920
Speaker 1: hate that I'm that way, there's parts that you can

1005
00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,080
Speaker 1: embrace in that. And one of my favorite things that

1006
00:59:01,120 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 1: I've heard about the endeagram is that these like quote

1007
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 1: unquote negative qualities are the flip side of your the

1008
00:59:07,240 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 1: best parts about you totally. And so it's hard for

1009
00:59:11,040 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 1: it's my experience, been hard for force to be like, oh, yeah,

1010
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: you're so right, what a great point. Thank you for

1011
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,680
Speaker 1: making that point. Yeah, I mean, just like anything, you know,

1012
00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 1: our strength can also be our weakness. And it's it's

1013
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:29,880
Speaker 1: so true. I think sevens. I think your sevens are trendsetters,

1014
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 1: you know, speaking of trend setters. Yes, absolutely, yeah, that

1015
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:40,080
Speaker 1: that beautiful kind of pathos and beauty, Like this fascination

1016
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 1: with pathos and beauty and meaning and all of this

1017
00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 1: stuff can also be taken to a big stream with fours.

1018
00:59:47,640 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: Comparison with others is huge fall into the trap of envy.

1019
00:59:51,840 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 1: That's our kind of like the passion of the fours.

1020
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,360
Speaker 1: Envy which can often look like admiration, even you know,

1021
00:59:58,520 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: like me saying, oh my gosh, your hair is so awesome.

1022
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: I love it, you know, love your hair like that

1023
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,840
Speaker 1: can be like a form of envy almost. For Type fours,

1024
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,520
Speaker 1: we mean well, but we just have this constant kind

1025
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:14,480
Speaker 1: of like, oh wow, that's so beautiful and moving along

1026
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 1: into this kind of last but not least head center

1027
01:00:18,600 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 1: of intelligence, thinking center of intelligence and type fives, which

1028
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,000
Speaker 1: to me are some of the most fascinating people in

1029
01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 1: the world. Like no, maybe one. Yeah, I don't know

1030
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,600
Speaker 1: if there's like a lesser number of fives in the world,

1031
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: but they just they feel like a rare, rare bird,

1032
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:39,120
Speaker 1: and I love meeting fives. Their attention, they're all often

1033
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 1: called the observer or the investigator. Their attention goes outward

1034
01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: to observing or scanning, often to their thinking capacities. Their

1035
01:00:49,280 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: kind of interior castle is their mind. They are constantly

1036
01:00:53,600 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 1: hoovering up information, wanting to master all kinds of different stuff,

1037
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 1: objects from the stars to the animal Kingdom to their

1038
01:01:06,560 --> 01:01:11,120
Speaker 1: favorite show is like how It's made right. Yeah, intense, cerebral,

1039
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 1: very perceptive, innovative, secretive, isolating fives are really again motivated

1040
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:20,600
Speaker 1: by that sense of mastery more than any other type.

1041
01:01:20,720 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 1: Five seek to understand why things are the way they are.

1042
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:29,040
Speaker 1: And yeah, they're I mean Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Stephen Hawking,

1043
01:01:29,120 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 1: these are all really heavy hitters for the fives in

1044
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:35,920
Speaker 1: terms of culture changers too. I mean, I think fives

1045
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:38,920
Speaker 1: are often known for kind of like how nerdy, smart

1046
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 1: they are and innovative, but often, I mean they really

1047
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:45,960
Speaker 1: are culture changers. Healthy fives are able to manage a

1048
01:01:46,040 --> 01:01:51,000
Speaker 1: balance of energy between participation and observation, right, They do

1049
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:55,240
Speaker 1: participate in the conversation when they're in a healthy space,

1050
01:01:55,320 --> 01:01:59,080
Speaker 1: and they engage with others comfortably, and they have an

1051
01:01:59,080 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 1: amazing ability to demonstrate neutrality. Really, but often very very

1052
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 1: introverted and very private FIBs really struggle with generosity. They

1053
01:02:08,560 --> 01:02:14,240
Speaker 1: can be stingy emotionally and even materialistically. You know, they're

1054
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 1: again just brilliant, brilliant people, and their invitation is the

1055
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:22,840
Speaker 1: emotional kind of rut they get in as greed kind

1056
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:25,920
Speaker 1: of again like saving up all their energy and making

1057
01:02:25,960 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 1: sure they have enough to kind of last. Courting. Yeah,

1058
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 1: that's a great word for it too. Avarice is another

1059
01:02:32,440 --> 01:02:35,200
Speaker 1: word for it. And then the invitation here for the

1060
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:39,400
Speaker 1: Type five is non attachment, so not necessarily detaching, but

1061
01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:44,880
Speaker 1: having a non attachment to things or possessions and just

1062
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,520
Speaker 1: for like being able to open up and receive freely,

1063
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:52,000
Speaker 1: give freely for nine fascinating people. Type six is the loyalist.

1064
01:02:52,240 --> 01:02:55,920
Speaker 1: They're awesome. I love I love, I love six. I

1065
01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 1: always said that I want to marry a six. Oh

1066
01:02:58,960 --> 01:03:01,600
Speaker 1: you should totally marry a six. I could. I can

1067
01:03:01,640 --> 01:03:03,400
Speaker 1: see that a good thing. I'm gonna be on the

1068
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 1: lookout for a nice six chap would be worthy of you.

1069
01:03:09,400 --> 01:03:12,840
Speaker 1: So yeah. Type sixes their attention goes to what could

1070
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 1: go wrong and any given situation, and they magnify that

1071
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:20,800
Speaker 1: so they figuring things out and being prepared. They're kind

1072
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 1: of the boy Scouts of the eneagram. They're always scanning.

1073
01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:30,760
Speaker 1: They're committed, security oriented. They're very engaging, responsible, can be anxious,

1074
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:35,960
Speaker 1: really gravitating, sometimes an unhealthy spaces to paranoia. Type sixes

1075
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 1: are motivated by the need to be safe and secure,

1076
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:43,160
Speaker 1: and they will display loyalty, oh my goodness to their

1077
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 1: friends and belief beyond any other type. We all need

1078
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 1: some good sixes on our teams. They're at the center

1079
01:03:49,600 --> 01:03:54,120
Speaker 1: of the thinking triad, so again, very cerebral and very

1080
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:58,880
Speaker 1: others referencing very compliant sixes. Basic fear is to be

1081
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,800
Speaker 1: without support, to be without guidance, so they have a

1082
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:06,200
Speaker 1: very interesting relationship with authority. They're kind of called worst

1083
01:04:06,200 --> 01:04:09,280
Speaker 1: case scenario thinkers. If you call them a pessimist, they

1084
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:13,160
Speaker 1: will correct you immediately and tell you that they're realist right.

1085
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 1: They don't like to find themselves in unpredictable situations. They

1086
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 1: really like to be prepared in healthy levels. They are

1087
01:04:21,720 --> 01:04:28,360
Speaker 1: super productive logical thinkers always organize their thoughts around what

1088
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:31,919
Speaker 1: would be the best case scenario for the common good.

1089
01:04:32,160 --> 01:04:37,880
Speaker 1: They're amazing team players. They're witty and understanding and compassionate

1090
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 1: of others. The way I see sixes, especially when it

1091
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 1: comes to me, because I'm like on the side where

1092
01:04:43,400 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 1: let's do everything, and let's do this and let's do that.

1093
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,440
Speaker 1: I don't think through anything, and a six is the

1094
01:04:47,480 --> 01:04:49,800
Speaker 1: person that's like standing at the door being like, wait,

1095
01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:52,320
Speaker 1: did you think this through? What about this? That essentially

1096
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 1: they're the reason the world has not like completely blown

1097
01:04:54,720 --> 01:04:58,400
Speaker 1: up totally. We still exist as a human species because

1098
01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 1: of sixes one thing. Yes, that's how I see them.

1099
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:04,720
Speaker 1: And like I haven't like combusted because of my sixth friends.

1100
01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:08,320
Speaker 1: Very true, that's so so spot on. I love it.

1101
01:05:08,360 --> 01:05:10,760
Speaker 1: I love it, I love it, eleve it. I mean, yeah,

1102
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:12,960
Speaker 1: we wouldn't be here, we would not be here as

1103
01:05:13,000 --> 01:05:15,600
Speaker 1: a species if it weren't with sixes. Okay, so for

1104
01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,760
Speaker 1: the fake of time, what is because we're going to

1105
01:05:17,880 --> 01:05:20,000
Speaker 1: move to spend a second on seventh. But what does

1106
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 1: the six need to hear? What's their invitation? The invitation

1107
01:05:23,560 --> 01:05:28,480
Speaker 1: for the sixth is faith to allow us to see

1108
01:05:28,520 --> 01:05:33,320
Speaker 1: their courage by living out of a space of of

1109
01:05:33,600 --> 01:05:36,800
Speaker 1: having faith, of cultivating their faith. They don't have to

1110
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:39,880
Speaker 1: have all the answers. And there's no there's no such

1111
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 1: thing as having all the all the answers, right, There's

1112
01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:47,160
Speaker 1: no way we can be completely one hundred percent secure

1113
01:05:47,320 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 1: and certain, right, So, so the invitation for type six

1114
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:56,040
Speaker 1: is to cultivate your faith. And it's okay to not

1115
01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:59,560
Speaker 1: have all the answers, right, it's okay to rely on

1116
01:05:59,600 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 1: other people. I love that. For for six is because

1117
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:05,240
Speaker 1: you know, it's like that saying that, you know, courage

1118
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 1: is not the absence of fear, it's showing up despite

1119
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:13,800
Speaker 1: your fear. And I love that. Yeah, okay, now can

1120
01:06:13,840 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 1: we talk about seven? If we didn't talk about sevens,

1121
01:06:18,440 --> 01:06:21,200
Speaker 1: this would this would just not be half as fun.

1122
01:06:21,880 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 1: And that's kind of why I like to start with

1123
01:06:23,920 --> 01:06:28,400
Speaker 1: eights and end with sevens, because sevens they could easily,

1124
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:31,960
Speaker 1: you know, get distracted and have kind of checked out.

1125
01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:34,760
Speaker 1: But I've left. Yeah, I would have stopped this podcast.

1126
01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:38,240
Speaker 1: What you were you were out getting cocktail hour with

1127
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:42,800
Speaker 1: your meeting your other seven friends, doing something fabulous and

1128
01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:46,560
Speaker 1: drinking something bubbly. I love it. No, I love type

1129
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:49,600
Speaker 1: seven so so much. My one of my absolute best

1130
01:06:49,680 --> 01:06:51,920
Speaker 1: friends in the whole wide world is seven and she

1131
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:54,720
Speaker 1: just keeps me so grounded with her positivity and I

1132
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 1: love it. Sevens often called the epicure or the enthusiast

1133
01:06:59,120 --> 01:07:01,720
Speaker 1: or the adventurer their attention and I can't wait to

1134
01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:04,960
Speaker 1: have you speak to the sevens. You know, your attention

1135
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:10,000
Speaker 1: goes to planning and future based opportunities and plans whatever

1136
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:14,400
Speaker 1: feels good. Their unconscious belief is that you are okay

1137
01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:17,480
Speaker 1: as long as you stay up and open right, your

1138
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:23,160
Speaker 1: energy is up and open. Sevens are amazing entrepreneurs, podcast hosts.

1139
01:07:23,200 --> 01:07:27,440
Speaker 1: I mean, they're just really brilliant minds and thinkers. Fast thinkers.

1140
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 1: I think sevens are the fastest, the most innovative thinkers

1141
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:34,440
Speaker 1: on the inneagram. Very very optimistic. Sevens approach life with

1142
01:07:34,520 --> 01:07:38,280
Speaker 1: the sense of adventure and can do spirit and openness

1143
01:07:38,280 --> 01:07:42,120
Speaker 1: and curiosity, always planning the next great thing and in

1144
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:46,600
Speaker 1: vacation or party or meal. They are collectors of friends.

1145
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:50,760
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, very anticipatory. It's difficult sometimes for sevenths

1146
01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:55,520
Speaker 1: to finish projects or halts. It can be pretty pretty difficult,

1147
01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:57,960
Speaker 1: that's what you were describing. It's like enlisting some of

1148
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:01,920
Speaker 1: those one qualities Type one qualities or type six qualities.

1149
01:08:02,040 --> 01:08:07,200
Speaker 1: They do not like confrontation, typically heavy conversations. Very popular

1150
01:08:07,240 --> 01:08:10,120
Speaker 1: with lots of friends and people. They're the life of

1151
01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:14,360
Speaker 1: any party and healthy places. Type sevens are able to

1152
01:08:14,400 --> 01:08:19,240
Speaker 1: incorporate pain and disappointment into the whole of their lives

1153
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:24,120
Speaker 1: and experiences and rather than avoiding it right so they're

1154
01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:28,920
Speaker 1: not only fun and adventurous, but they're also spiritually grounded

1155
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:32,880
Speaker 1: people and practical and also very very resilient. I think

1156
01:08:32,960 --> 01:08:36,679
Speaker 1: that is the invitation for type sevens, is the resilience factor.

1157
01:08:37,280 --> 01:08:39,479
Speaker 1: You know, it's just such a superpower. I feel like

1158
01:08:39,560 --> 01:08:43,760
Speaker 1: for sevens, yes, tell me speak speak into I mean,

1159
01:08:44,080 --> 01:08:46,400
Speaker 1: I feel all of those things. I think that sevens

1160
01:08:46,400 --> 01:08:48,439
Speaker 1: are I mean, and we act this way, and that

1161
01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:51,439
Speaker 1: we are looked at this way, so we're always fun

1162
01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:54,280
Speaker 1: all the time. Life is light, life is bubbly. It

1163
01:08:54,320 --> 01:08:57,640
Speaker 1: has been. I think the biggest struggle of becoming a

1164
01:08:57,720 --> 01:09:01,599
Speaker 1: therapist is my personality, and really in the sense it's

1165
01:09:01,600 --> 01:09:05,240
Speaker 1: super hard for me to center in like emotions that

1166
01:09:05,280 --> 01:09:07,680
Speaker 1: are hard to feel, which for me, emotion that's hard

1167
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:11,880
Speaker 1: to feel, a sadness and hurt. Breakups have been way

1168
01:09:11,920 --> 01:09:15,080
Speaker 1: harder than I think this should be because feeling that

1169
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:17,680
Speaker 1: kind of pain is something I'm not used to and

1170
01:09:17,840 --> 01:09:19,760
Speaker 1: I don't know what it's going to end. I'm not

1171
01:09:19,920 --> 01:09:22,800
Speaker 1: so much excited about like a trip. I'm excited about

1172
01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:24,479
Speaker 1: the fact that I have something to look forward to,

1173
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:27,760
Speaker 1: and so in breakups, they've been really hard because I

1174
01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 1: don't know when that pain's going to go away, so

1175
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,960
Speaker 1: I can't have something to look forward to, and people

1176
01:09:33,000 --> 01:09:35,880
Speaker 1: are so important to me, like I do have and

1177
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:38,240
Speaker 1: I've worked on this of trying to make my circle

1178
01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 1: smaller almost, but I have so many friends and people

1179
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:45,840
Speaker 1: are so important to me. Relationships are so important to me.

1180
01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:49,000
Speaker 1: So I want to make everybody happy because when I'm happy,

1181
01:09:49,240 --> 01:09:52,040
Speaker 1: and then when I just want to be sad, I

1182
01:09:52,080 --> 01:09:55,760
Speaker 1: feel guilty almost. I'm thinking back to one specific time

1183
01:09:55,760 --> 01:09:57,559
Speaker 1: in my life where I went through a breakup and

1184
01:09:57,760 --> 01:10:00,120
Speaker 1: I just hurt over and over. You're not yourself or

1185
01:10:00,160 --> 01:10:03,000
Speaker 1: not yourself. And when I did become myself again, people

1186
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:05,200
Speaker 1: were like, I'm so glad she's back, and that was

1187
01:10:05,560 --> 01:10:09,120
Speaker 1: very meaningful to me. But also it's hard because I

1188
01:10:09,160 --> 01:10:11,800
Speaker 1: already have a hard time being sad, and so then

1189
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:13,519
Speaker 1: it's like, on top of that, I feel so I mean,

1190
01:10:13,560 --> 01:10:15,439
Speaker 1: I could talk about being a seven all day long,

1191
01:10:15,520 --> 01:10:18,320
Speaker 1: but what I think I want most people to see

1192
01:10:18,439 --> 01:10:21,160
Speaker 1: is it's great to be a seven. I would not

1193
01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:24,599
Speaker 1: choose to trade my number, and it has pain points

1194
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:27,559
Speaker 1: and we're also I think every number has areas where

1195
01:10:27,560 --> 01:10:32,040
Speaker 1: they're misunderstood. And if you are somebody who envies somebody

1196
01:10:32,080 --> 01:10:34,880
Speaker 1: who is a different type or envies being a seven,

1197
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:38,400
Speaker 1: I am parts of all of the numbers and things

1198
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,600
Speaker 1: that I wish I could gravitate towards. Now what I

1199
01:10:40,640 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 1: trade who I am? No, the reputation of thinking we're

1200
01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:46,639
Speaker 1: the best number, and I don't feel that all the time. Yeah,

1201
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:50,520
Speaker 1: I think sevens. There's a lot of misconceptions about sevens,

1202
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:55,679
Speaker 1: you know, and I do think sevens. You know, I've

1203
01:10:55,720 --> 01:10:59,800
Speaker 1: even heard people say sevens are actually not the most optimistic.

1204
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:04,840
Speaker 1: They're the most pessimistic because they're so afraid to go

1205
01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 1: to that place of being sad or being in pain,

1206
01:11:10,880 --> 01:11:12,880
Speaker 1: because they're so afraid of what that could be like.

1207
01:11:13,160 --> 01:11:15,760
Speaker 1: You know, so a lot a lot of times, you know,

1208
01:11:15,800 --> 01:11:20,600
Speaker 1: you've heard this phrase, especially recently toxic positive positivity. I

1209
01:11:20,640 --> 01:11:26,320
Speaker 1: think sevens can kind of nark out almost on positivity. Well,

1210
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:29,760
Speaker 1: And going to therapy has been so hard because I

1211
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:32,240
Speaker 1: don't want to sit in that stuff and talk about

1212
01:11:32,280 --> 01:11:35,479
Speaker 1: gravitating towards addiction and numbing. But I mean we could

1213
01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:39,040
Speaker 1: go on forever. You know. The invitation or a virtue

1214
01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,920
Speaker 1: is sobriety. And I would say again, just kind of

1215
01:11:42,960 --> 01:11:45,439
Speaker 1: like the lust for type AID. It's that's not a

1216
01:11:45,479 --> 01:11:49,000
Speaker 1: sexual lust. It's not like an alcohol sobriety. It's just

1217
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:54,160
Speaker 1: basically like being sober in your experience, you know, being

1218
01:11:54,320 --> 01:11:58,559
Speaker 1: awake and present presence, you know. I wish we had

1219
01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:01,360
Speaker 1: time to really go into all of the kind of

1220
01:12:01,400 --> 01:12:06,160
Speaker 1: opportunities for every type, but for Type seven, the opportunity

1221
01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:08,799
Speaker 1: is just to take up space in the present moment,

1222
01:12:10,120 --> 01:12:13,960
Speaker 1: to really really move around, allow yourself to feel the

1223
01:12:14,040 --> 01:12:17,439
Speaker 1: present moment. Yeah, and not trying to get ten steps

1224
01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:20,559
Speaker 1: outrun your pain, you know, but just to be in there.

1225
01:12:20,640 --> 01:12:24,799
Speaker 1: But I think it takes a very evolved Type seven

1226
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:28,280
Speaker 1: to be at the arapist. I would say it takes

1227
01:12:28,320 --> 01:12:33,679
Speaker 1: someone I mean, wouldn't you a lot of like sitting

1228
01:12:33,720 --> 01:12:36,800
Speaker 1: in pain? For type like, it's just there's a lot

1229
01:12:36,880 --> 01:12:39,360
Speaker 1: of heaviness, and I think it takes a lot of

1230
01:12:39,600 --> 01:12:42,040
Speaker 1: a lot of sobriety for Type sevens to be able

1231
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:44,559
Speaker 1: to do that. I mean, for a four, it's like

1232
01:12:44,800 --> 01:12:48,760
Speaker 1: the water we swim in, it's so dreamy, right, dark

1233
01:12:48,800 --> 01:12:52,840
Speaker 1: emotions tell me over the top. But I think for

1234
01:12:52,880 --> 01:12:55,600
Speaker 1: Type sevens it can be you know, difficult. On the

1235
01:12:55,920 --> 01:12:58,800
Speaker 1: on the other extreme, yeah, totally, so, thank you so

1236
01:12:58,880 --> 01:13:02,280
Speaker 1: much and have a wonderful yeah, happy Thanksgiving, and I

1237
01:13:02,320 --> 01:13:05,519
Speaker 1: appreciate you and this was so fun. Bye okay, bye

1238
01:13:10,280 --> 01:13:10,320
Speaker 1: m