1 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:03,040 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. 3 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,479 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey FM and 4 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,720 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 6 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: one right here, right now. Thank you. Buggle up and 7 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you here. It 8 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:26,080 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter, all right. A subject my husband 9 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: has got to have it. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm newly 10 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,559 Speaker 1: married and my husband and me. My husband told me 11 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: that he was a freak when we started dating. He 12 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,960 Speaker 1: is loving and supportive, a hard working family man, and 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: a great father, but he is constantly stressing me out 14 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: over sex. He's an awesome lover, but I can't seem 15 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: to keep up with his sex drive lately. I guess 16 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: I'm in an open marriage because I'm sure he's having 17 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,440 Speaker 1: sex outside of our marriage. I knew his sex drive 18 00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: was off the charts, but I thought I could handle him. 19 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:00,320 Speaker 1: When I asked him if he was cheating with other 20 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: men and women, he told me he wasn't, But he 21 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:07,760 Speaker 1: turned around and asked me if he could bring others 22 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: into our sex life. I consider myself to be an 23 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 1: open person, but I only want to be freaky with 24 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: my husband. We had a couple of experiences with swinging, 25 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: but it didn't go as I thought it would because 26 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 1: I was not attracted to anyone in the room. My 27 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:27,559 Speaker 1: lack of interest in my husband's lifestyle has caused heated 28 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: arguments with us, and I feel that sex is going 29 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: to be our downfall. How can we have the perfect 30 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:37,960 Speaker 1: marriage but he is too freaky for me? I love him, 31 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: we have a great time together, but I can't give 32 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: him what he wants. Should I just agree to experiment 33 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: with him and watch him have sex with others? Or 34 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: do I pack up and let him be free and alone? 35 00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 1: Or should we seek counseling? We are not easily yoked sexually. 36 00:01:55,680 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: Please tell me what to do? Wow, we are not 37 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: equally sexually? Yeah? Yeah, well, you know that's an issue 38 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 1: if if you're not equally yoked sexually, especially with a 39 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 1: husband like this. You say he's really freaky. He likes 40 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:17,080 Speaker 1: to do freaky things. You like to do freaky things too, 41 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: but only with your husband, And you know, I'm just 42 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: your husband is getting everything he wants in this marriage. 43 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: You're getting nothing. You're the one that's unhappy. You're just 44 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 1: going along with the program. Whatever he says to do. 45 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,079 Speaker 1: You just go along with it, and you don't even 46 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 1: want to, but you know that's what you're doing. And listen, 47 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,880 Speaker 1: there's no such thing as a perfect marriage. You shouldn't 48 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:46,320 Speaker 1: be uncomfortable in your marriage when you don't want to 49 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,919 Speaker 1: do things. You didn't want to do the swinging thing. 50 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 1: You went there, but when you saw that the people 51 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:54,440 Speaker 1: weren't attractive, you didn't want to do that. You know, 52 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: so you think that your your husband is way too 53 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: much for you, that this is a problem in your marriage. 54 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: And guess what, you're exactly right. If you're looking again, 55 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,079 Speaker 1: if you're looking for a perfect marriage, no such thing exists. 56 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: Is he too freaky for you? Only you can determine that. 57 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: You're the one that's writing the letter. You're the one 58 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:20,480 Speaker 1: that's not liking what's going on in the marriage. You 59 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,560 Speaker 1: you're the one that's saying you can't keep up with 60 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: it with him, So maybe he is too freaky for you. 61 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,640 Speaker 1: You love him, you have a great time together, all 62 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: of that, but you can't give him what he wants 63 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: and it seems like you know, according to the letter, 64 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: he wants it all the time, and not just with you, 65 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: with others as well. So the question should you just 66 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: agree to experiment and watch him have sex with others? 67 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,839 Speaker 1: Why would you do that? Why would you do that 68 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: as his wife? You don't. That's not what you want. 69 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: You don't want to to be an onlook or a bystander, 70 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: a non participant in your own marriage. You know you 71 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: you want to get something out of it as well. 72 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 1: It here that that's not happening. Um, should you pack 73 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: up and leave to let him be free and alone? 74 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: You can determine that if if if you can't handle 75 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 1: it and he keeps cheating on you, I mean, I 76 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,880 Speaker 1: don't see what choice you have in that matter. Should 77 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: you see counseling you can start there for sure. And 78 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:21,359 Speaker 1: you're definitely not equally yoked sexually, You're definitely not that. 79 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: So you you've got a lot of soul searching to do. 80 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: This marriage isn't working for you sexually, it's just not. 81 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,120 Speaker 1: I mean, there are more things to marriage than sex, 82 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 1: but sex is very, very very important in a marriage. 83 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,160 Speaker 1: And if you guys, if he's cheating and you don't 84 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: like it. Then you know, what are you gonna do? 85 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: You tell me, I don't know, Steve, what he ain't 86 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: got this? Right here, it's your turn, Steve, my husband 87 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,960 Speaker 1: not to have it. But this he you, lady, you 88 00:04:57,240 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 1: don't understand what's happening. Hell, he got to have it. 89 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: He told you for y'all gotten marriage. Tom a freak. 90 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: He could never have told you to the extent that 91 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:19,160 Speaker 1: his freakingness was. Can't get to this boarding took it 92 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 1: to a whole another level. He's a good father, good provide, 93 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 1: a good husband, but you can't kill He's an awesome lover. Hell, 94 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: he do it all the time. Anything you do all 95 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: the time, you're gonna be good. If people blink off 96 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: all the time. You do get kind of good at golf. 97 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,320 Speaker 1: Now you say you think here would kill me. You 98 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 1: said you're assuming that you're in an open marriage because 99 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: he must be having sex outside your marriage. You say 100 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 1: that you know this, You already know he having sex 101 00:05:58,839 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: outside your marriage when he ain't winning you about it 102 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 1: and he ain't home what you think he is? You 103 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:10,440 Speaker 1: already no. Then you asked him, did he want to 104 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:18,159 Speaker 1: cheat with other men and women? What? Wait a minute, 105 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 1: this is a little bit moding, just sexually active? You 106 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,920 Speaker 1: asked him, did he cheat with other men and women? 107 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 1: All right, hold that thought, Steve, hold it, yeah, you 108 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:40,839 Speaker 1: gotta hold it right now. He come number five please, 109 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 1: I'm waiting for it. Well, I'm part two of Steve's 110 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: response to Today's Strawberry Letter, coming up at twenty three 111 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 1: minutes after the hour. My husband has got to have it. 112 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening, 113 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. 114 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 1: My husband has got to have it. This lady is 115 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: married to she hadn't been off way more than she 116 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: get to. The man told he free. He's awesome love, 117 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,040 Speaker 1: he's great father, great husband, all like this here. But 118 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: he is on hull back about this sex. Hey, hey, 119 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,360 Speaker 1: what you're doing now? What you're doing now? You ain't 120 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 1: doing nothing? Now what you're doing? Why are you over 121 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: there drinking coffee? We could be over here doing something. 122 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 1: What you're doing now? Why are you taking a shower 123 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: without me? What you're doing you're laying in the bed 124 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:30,680 Speaker 1: while you got your back to me. Your mother, won't 125 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: it what you're doing right now? When you girl? Right now? Oh? 126 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: I see you being an over packing that dishwashing. You 127 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: talk about packing boy, boy, she needed a break. I 128 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: saw the way you was being and over that car 129 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: getting them groceries off that car. Now I bought some 130 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: of these here groceries. Boy, shete he ain't giving it though. 131 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: So didn't you assumes that you're in an open marriage 132 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:04,960 Speaker 1: because you think he's having sex outside the marriage? He 133 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: said no, But then you asked him was he having 134 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,160 Speaker 1: sex with other men and women? How much sex he 135 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:16,720 Speaker 1: got to have? He just wanted from anybody, So this 136 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: ain't just he just doing. He just wanted for anybody. 137 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: He just freaking way man. Lady, you didn't bid off 138 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,800 Speaker 1: something right here. So then after you asked him, did 139 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: he want to bring men and women into the relationship? 140 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: He said no. Then he turned around and said no. 141 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,679 Speaker 1: You asked him, was he cheating with men and women? 142 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: He said no. Then he turns around and ask you 143 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:50,319 Speaker 1: could he bring others into y'all's sex life? You didn't 144 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: comment on that, But then I don't know what you did. 145 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 1: And then you turn around and said you participate him 146 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 1: with him once and you went to a swingers club, 147 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:05,600 Speaker 1: but you weren't attracted to anybody in the room, in 148 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: the room, and I bet he was, though I showed 149 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 1: beat big Buck or Buck was in now y'all was 150 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:21,319 Speaker 1: walking around the here. Ain't got no parents or draws, 151 00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 1: just walking around naked from the waist down with some 152 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 1: chet shoes on that some black he got what he 153 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 1: got one out there he brought naked from the waist down. 154 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: He got on chet shoes and some black sock. But 155 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: nick ass. But walking around, just shopping, y'all at the 156 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: swingers club. I'm not attracted to any of them. Buck 157 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:54,439 Speaker 1: standing straight up, going, I'm attracted to everybody in here. 158 00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:02,719 Speaker 1: Look at him, all hell, look at him? Oh, oh, 159 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,199 Speaker 1: here she come? Oh he already? Hey man, what's that? 160 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:11,199 Speaker 1: What's girl? Hey boy? What you're doing? Lady? So you're 161 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: in the swing a club just sitting down now, Now 162 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:22,560 Speaker 1: that's what you need to understand. You are married to 163 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 1: a manhole. Oh you don't worried? All right? Married manhole? 164 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:38,360 Speaker 1: You notice? Yeah, you're grown shovel, he said. Don't stop him, 165 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 1: asked y'all when I started this, See if you say 166 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:46,600 Speaker 1: it's different when you say it about me, double standards. 167 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 1: Let's change that. Okay, Well, let me change your name. 168 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:58,439 Speaker 1: This is for radio there. You're married to a mayhoe. Yeah, 169 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 1: it's called mayhoe. Mayhole. He can sounds like mayo, sounds 170 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: like may I hold your hand, sounds like mayhoe. You're 171 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 1: married to a mayhoe. This man right here, pick up anything? 172 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: Then you said, should I let him go be free 173 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: and let him live his life alone? Oh, let me 174 00:11:23,679 --> 00:11:26,319 Speaker 1: tell you something that you might free him, But he 175 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:31,840 Speaker 1: damn sure ain't gonna be alone. Big Buck is in 176 00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: that Swingers club with the drip shoes on every night. Now, 177 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:41,520 Speaker 1: he didn't coming home that membership, you know, that membership 178 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: that they give out to everybody in anyway, He got 179 00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:48,200 Speaker 1: life membership down at the Swings. This is crazy. Now 180 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: you sent up talking about should I just watch him 181 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: have sex? What? Yeah? Why would you do that? Have 182 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,839 Speaker 1: you lowered yourself to the point where you want him 183 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,640 Speaker 1: so bad you just watch him having sex with anybody 184 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:06,080 Speaker 1: he bring into your house him or her? Have you 185 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:10,120 Speaker 1: lost your mind? And this ain't about counseling. This man 186 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: don't need counseling. He needs to get put out. He 187 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:18,319 Speaker 1: need get put out. And you need to go somewhere 188 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:21,120 Speaker 1: with your life and stop experimenting with stuff you don't 189 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 1: really want to do, just to make a man happy. 190 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:28,120 Speaker 1: Find your happiness somewhere, Find somebody that just won't you. 191 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:33,839 Speaker 1: He won't every damn body but dress shoes on this 192 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: sure shoes and some black sock, all right. See folkst 193 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 1: your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter and Steve Harvey FM 194 00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,920 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry Letter 195 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,800 Speaker 1: podcast on demand now coming up at forty six after 196 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: the hour, Pemping in the building with Week fifteen of 197 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: his NFL picks. Right after that, you're listening to Steve 198 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,240 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show