WEBVTT - Give Me 30 Minutes and You Will Never Struggle With a Decision Again

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<v Speaker 1>Stop waiting till you're perfect, Just start. Stop waiting to

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<v Speaker 1>feel certain, progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till you feel ready.

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<v Speaker 1>Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting till they approve.

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<v Speaker 1>Most people are too scared to even try. Stop waiting

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<v Speaker 1>for it to be easy. What transforms you really is

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<v Speaker 1>the number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Sety, Jay

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<v Speaker 1>Shetty Jet. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty. Welcome back to

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<v Speaker 1>On Purpose. If you haven't already, make sure you subscribe.

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<v Speaker 1>It makes a huge difference to us and it makes

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<v Speaker 1>sure you never miss an episode. If you want to

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<v Speaker 1>build a mindset that is prepared for the challenges that

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<v Speaker 1>come up in the world we live in. If you

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<v Speaker 1>want to make sure that you have habits to transform

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<v Speaker 1>your life, if you want to make sure that you

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<v Speaker 1>have the inner world going in the same direction as

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<v Speaker 1>your outer world, this is the place to be. Now.

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<v Speaker 1>How many of you overthink, how many of you procrastinate,

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<v Speaker 1>and how many of you keep going round and round

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<v Speaker 1>in circles with the same thoughts. If you said yes

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<v Speaker 1>to any of those, this episode is for you. It's

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<v Speaker 1>all about creating a clear mind and how to make

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<v Speaker 1>better decisions, how to choose smarter and how to live freer.

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<v Speaker 1>I think all of us are struggling in our lives

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<v Speaker 1>with overthinking. We're overwhelmed with the amount of information. We're

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<v Speaker 1>overwhelmed with the amount of choice. We're inundated with insight data.

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<v Speaker 1>We're being sold to. Our attention is being farmed right.

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<v Speaker 1>People are literally trying to grab hold of our attention,

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<v Speaker 1>whether we're on the street, on the phone, wherever we are,

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<v Speaker 1>and so making better decisions has become harder. This episode

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<v Speaker 1>is going to help you make decisions quicker, smarter, and

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<v Speaker 1>better and help you waste less time procrastinating, overthinking, and

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<v Speaker 1>wasting time on decisions that maybe don't make a difference.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's dive in. Step one is catch the noise. You

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<v Speaker 1>don't have a clarity problem, you have a clutter problem.

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<v Speaker 1>Before we decide, we ruminate, we spiral, we crowdsource, we overthink.

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<v Speaker 1>But Stanford research shows that excessive deliberation reduces decision quality

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<v Speaker 1>by up to twenty five percent due to something known

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<v Speaker 1>as decision fatigue. Now, what is decision fatigue? You might

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<v Speaker 1>be wondering. Decision fatigue is the mental and emotional strain

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<v Speaker 1>resulting from making too many decisions, especially in a row.

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<v Speaker 1>The more choices you make, the worse your decision making becomes.

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<v Speaker 1>This is because every decision, big or small, draws from

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<v Speaker 1>a limited pool of mental energy. This is a concept

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<v Speaker 1>backed by ego depletion theory. Once that pool is drained,

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<v Speaker 1>your brain defaults to either avoidance doing nothing. I'm sure

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<v Speaker 1>you can relate, or impulse choosing the easiest or most

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<v Speaker 1>familiar option. Now think about that for a second. How

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<v Speaker 1>often do you make so many decisions? From the moment

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<v Speaker 1>you wake up, You're thinking about what to wear, what

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<v Speaker 1>to eat, what you're gonna do tonight, what you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to watch, all the different tasks you have to get

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<v Speaker 1>through today, packing the kid's lunch. Right, You've got a

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<v Speaker 1>million tasks, a million things to think about. By the

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<v Speaker 1>end of the day, what happens, you just want to

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<v Speaker 1>do nothing right, You want to get nothing done all.

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<v Speaker 1>What happens is you start making impulsive decisions that you

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<v Speaker 1>regret later. In one study, participants who are forced to

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<v Speaker 1>make many small decisions like choosing products, designs, or preferences

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<v Speaker 1>later performed significantly worse on tasks requiring self control. Now

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<v Speaker 1>that's what I love about this topic. It affects all

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<v Speaker 1>parts of your life, your thinking. The issue is you

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<v Speaker 1>don't have willpower your thinking. The issue is you don't

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<v Speaker 1>have self control. The truth is, when you've become exhausted

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<v Speaker 1>from making lots of small decisions, you lose that power.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a decision making problem. It's not a drive or

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<v Speaker 1>will problem. What this study shows is that over deliberation

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<v Speaker 1>isn't just mentally exhausting. It actively reduces your ability to

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<v Speaker 1>think clearly, increasing the chance to default to what's familiar.

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<v Speaker 1>That's actually one of the reason people like Steve Jobs,

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<v Speaker 1>Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg all minimize daily micro decisions, wearing

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<v Speaker 1>the same clothes to preserve cognitive energy for the bigger decisions.

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<v Speaker 1>They've even found in studies that judges in courts were

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<v Speaker 1>found to give more favorable rulings early in the day

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<v Speaker 1>after many cases, after seeing many people, they actually struggled

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<v Speaker 1>to give favorable rulings. Now, how does this affect you?

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<v Speaker 1>Every should I adds up, every let me think one

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<v Speaker 1>more time drains fuel. So when you deliberate excessively, you

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<v Speaker 1>think you're being thorough, but you're actually weakening your judgment.

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<v Speaker 1>That's why your best decision isn't always the most analyzed.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the one made with a clear, rested mind. It's

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<v Speaker 1>why we say things like let me sleep on it,

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<v Speaker 1>because that clarity that rest helps you make a better decision.

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<v Speaker 1>Now here's an action tip. Protect decision making energy by

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<v Speaker 1>making big decisions early in the day. A lot of

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<v Speaker 1>us start by making our small decisions, as opposed to

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<v Speaker 1>focusing on the big ones. When you waste a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of energy and all the small decisions, you've run out

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<v Speaker 1>of energy by the time it comes to your top priorities.

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<v Speaker 1>So batch the small decisions meals, clothes roots to take.

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<v Speaker 1>Do it the night before, do it a week in advance.

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<v Speaker 1>Also use pre made criteria. If X, then I always do. Why.

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<v Speaker 1>Stop overthinking things that won't matter in five years. Stop

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<v Speaker 1>overthinking replies to people who wouldn't notice if you disappeared.

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<v Speaker 1>Stop overthinking how you look to people who don't look

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<v Speaker 1>out for you. Stop overthinking your path just because it

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't look like theirs. Stop overthinking the past when your

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<v Speaker 1>future is trying to get your focus. Stop overthinking all

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<v Speaker 1>of these other small, insignificant decisions that don't impact the

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<v Speaker 1>quality of your life. Step two, label the type of decision.

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<v Speaker 1>Not all decisions deserve the same energy. That's a quote

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<v Speaker 1>from Jeff Bezos. And here I want to introduce you

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<v Speaker 1>to what's known as type one versus type two framework

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<v Speaker 1>for decision making. Type one is if a decision is

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<v Speaker 1>irreversible and high stakes, think deeply. A Type two decision

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<v Speaker 1>is something that's reversible and low stakes, decide fast. Let

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<v Speaker 1>me say that again. If something is irreversible and high stakes,

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<v Speaker 1>think deeply. If something is reversible and low stakes, decide faster.

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<v Speaker 1>Most people treat every decision in life like life or death.

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<v Speaker 1>That's how they get paralyzed. Right. Most of us think

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<v Speaker 1>this decision will defire my entire life, when in reality,

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<v Speaker 1>you can apply for a new job, you can quit

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<v Speaker 1>this job, you can look for other work, you will

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<v Speaker 1>find another manager. These are all options, but our mind

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<v Speaker 1>makes us feel like there are only two either survive

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<v Speaker 1>or die. And as soon as your brain puts that

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<v Speaker 1>pressure onto you, what happens. You get paralyzed. You stop

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<v Speaker 1>having the ability to make a healthier decision knowing that

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<v Speaker 1>there are always more than two options. For example, let's

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<v Speaker 1>say you're not enjoying your work. Let's say you're not

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<v Speaker 1>doing something you're passionate about. In your head, you think

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<v Speaker 1>there are two options. I either stay here and hate it,

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<v Speaker 1>or I leave and I fail. You don't think about

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<v Speaker 1>the third option. Maybe I should build a new skill.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe I should update my LinkedIn profile, Maybe I should

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<v Speaker 1>update my resume. Maybe I should start a side hustle.

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<v Speaker 1>These are all opportunities and options that we don't even

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<v Speaker 1>consider because we think there are only two options. When

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<v Speaker 1>we realize that most things are reversible and most things

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<v Speaker 1>are not that high states, we actually expand our worldview.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's a mini action for you. Ask yourself, if I

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<v Speaker 1>choose wrong, can I recover? If yes, then act, If no,

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<v Speaker 1>then investigate further. Most people treat type two decisions like

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<v Speaker 1>type one decisions. Decisions that are reversible and low states.

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<v Speaker 1>We treat them as irreversible and high states. When we

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<v Speaker 1>treat type one decisions like type two decisions, it's a disaster. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>choosing who to marry is a type one decision. It's

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<v Speaker 1>high stakes, and even though it is reversible, it's something

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<v Speaker 1>that's challenging to reverse. So it becomes a disaster if

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<v Speaker 1>we act fast and we don't think about it, and

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<v Speaker 1>I've already talked about how we do the opposite, spend

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<v Speaker 1>more time on the few choices that matter and stop

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<v Speaker 1>wasting brain power on what doesn't. I also want to

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<v Speaker 1>share with you something that I really came across when

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<v Speaker 1>I was at university. I realized you needed seventy percent

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<v Speaker 1>to get a first class degree. Seventy percent, so that

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<v Speaker 1>means somebody got seventy percent and somebody got ninety nine

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<v Speaker 1>percent ended up with the same grade of getting a

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<v Speaker 1>first class. Sixty to seventy in England was a two

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<v Speaker 1>to one, fifty to sixty was a two to two,

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<v Speaker 1>and anything below that was a three. And so when

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<v Speaker 1>you think about that, a lot of us are trying

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<v Speaker 1>to be at ninety nine when all we need to

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<v Speaker 1>do is be at seventy now. Jeff Bezos also shares this,

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<v Speaker 1>most decisions should probably made with around seventy percent of

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<v Speaker 1>the information you wish you had. If you wait for

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<v Speaker 1>ninety percent, in most cases, you're probably being slow. This

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<v Speaker 1>is a really important thing to remember because in the

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<v Speaker 1>process of wanting to be ninety percent perfect, we end

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<v Speaker 1>up not even starting. And this ties into satisficing. A

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<v Speaker 1>concept in decision theory that says good enough is often

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<v Speaker 1>better than perfect, because perfection is a trap and speed

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<v Speaker 1>creates momentum. I want to give you a real life example.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a real Amazon example. In Amazon's early days,

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<v Speaker 1>choosing where to place new fulfillment centers was a type decision.

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<v Speaker 1>If a location underperformed, they'd shut it down or reallocate it.

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<v Speaker 1>But building Amazon Web services, that's a type one decision.

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<v Speaker 1>This required full commitment and long term thinking. Bezos taught

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<v Speaker 1>his team be nimble with reversibles, be deliberate with irreversibles.

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<v Speaker 1>Here's the practical application for you. Ask these three questions.

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<v Speaker 1>If I get it wrong, is the damage small or permanent?

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<v Speaker 1>Can I test this on a small scale before going

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<v Speaker 1>all in? And here's a bonus thought. The enemy of

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<v Speaker 1>speed is not caution, it's confusion. This Bezos framework isn't

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<v Speaker 1>just about fast versus slow. It's about clarity. Knowing what

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<v Speaker 1>kind of decision you're making is the first decision you

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<v Speaker 1>should make. Stop waiting till you're perfect, just start. Stop

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<v Speaker 1>waiting to feel certain. Progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till

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<v Speaker 1>you feel ready. Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting

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<v Speaker 1>till they approve. Most people are too scared to even

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<v Speaker 1>try stop waiting till you have more time. You make

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<v Speaker 1>time for what matters. Stop waiting for it to be easy.

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<v Speaker 1>What transforms you really is Step three. Feel first, then

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<v Speaker 1>think Now might sound counterintuitive, but stick with me. One

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<v Speaker 1>of my favorite quotes is from Antonio Dimascio. He said,

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<v Speaker 1>we make our decisions emotionally, then justify them logically. This

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<v Speaker 1>idea from Antonio Domasio is one of the most powerful

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<v Speaker 1>and underacknowledged truths about how we actually make decisions. Let's

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<v Speaker 1>break it down now. Doctor Antonio Domacio is a renowned neuroscientist.

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<v Speaker 1>His most influential work centers on how emotion is essential

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<v Speaker 1>for rational decision making, a direct challenge to the old

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<v Speaker 1>school belief that logic alone leads to better choices. His

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<v Speaker 1>groundbreaking book Descartes Error reshaped modern neuroscience by proving we

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<v Speaker 1>are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines

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<v Speaker 1>that think. Now. Here's the science. Demassio studied patients with

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<v Speaker 1>damage to the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the

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<v Speaker 1>brain that connect emotional processing with rational thinking. These patients

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<v Speaker 1>had normal IQ. They could reason and analyze logically, but

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<v Speaker 1>couldn't make basic decisions, even about where to eat, what

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<v Speaker 1>to wear, or which pen to use. They were emotionally numb.

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<v Speaker 1>As a result, their decision making broke down completely. His conclusion,

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<v Speaker 1>Without emotion, logic stores emotion isn't noise, it's navigation. Here's

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<v Speaker 1>what this really means in real life. You feel something first, desire, fear, excitement, guilt.

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<v Speaker 1>Then your brain builds a logical story to support or

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<v Speaker 1>justify that feeling. Example, you feel anxious about leaving your job,

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<v Speaker 1>so you build a logical case like the market's unstable

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<v Speaker 1>or this isn't the right time. But deep down your

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<v Speaker 1>head visitation might be emotional fear of failure, fear of judgment,

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<v Speaker 1>fear of losing identity. The logic is the cover, the

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<v Speaker 1>emotion is the compass. Feel first, then think clearly. If

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<v Speaker 1>you skip the emotional layer, your logic becomes reactive, not intentional.

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<v Speaker 1>So here's how to use this insight. This is a

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<v Speaker 1>three step emotion check in before big decisions. Name the

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<v Speaker 1>dominant emotion you're feeling. Is it excitement, fear, shame, pressure, envy,

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<v Speaker 1>and then ask is this emotion trustworthy or distorted by

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<v Speaker 1>past wounds? Then engage logic. Now you're making decisions from wholeness,

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<v Speaker 1>not habit, So to me, asking that question what emotion

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<v Speaker 1>is driving this decision and naming it fear, guilt, love, ego?

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<v Speaker 1>Then asking is that emotion trustworthy right now? Will save

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<v Speaker 1>you so much. I'll give an example. If someone hurts

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<v Speaker 1>me and I'm thinking about hurting them back. If I

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<v Speaker 1>ask myself where's that coming from, it's coming from revenge.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that trustworthy right now as an emotion? Probably not

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<v Speaker 1>so how I want to behave and how I want

0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:31.560
<v Speaker 1>to act, Maybe something I regret. Don't ignore your intuition.

0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:39.560
<v Speaker 1>Stop mistrusting your first reaction because it's often your deepest wisdom.

0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:45.879
<v Speaker 1>Stop calling it overthinking when it's actually your soul saying no.

0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:51.960
<v Speaker 1>Stop asking for clarity from others when your nervous system

0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:57.040
<v Speaker 1>already gave you an answer. Stop pretending you don't know

0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:03.120
<v Speaker 1>when you've known all alone. Step four play the ten

0:18:03.440 --> 0:18:08.360
<v Speaker 1>ten ten game. Most regrets aren't from what we choose,

0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:12.640
<v Speaker 1>but from not zooming out. That's from Susie Welch's ten

0:18:12.760 --> 0:18:17.159
<v Speaker 1>ten ten rule. Ask yourself, how will I feel about

0:18:17.160 --> 0:18:21.120
<v Speaker 1>this in ten minutes? How will I feel about this

0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:25.679
<v Speaker 1>in ten months? How will I feel about this? In

0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:31.879
<v Speaker 1>ten years. This activates the door selateral prefrontal cortex, the

0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:36.400
<v Speaker 1>part of the brain responsible for long term thinking, basically

0:18:36.440 --> 0:18:41.119
<v Speaker 1>reducing impulsive errors. Here's a mini action voice record yourself

0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:48.520
<v Speaker 1>answering those three questions. Don't write, speak Speaking activates deeper truth.

0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:52.720
<v Speaker 1>It's a great way of asking yourself. Am I wasting time?

0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:56.520
<v Speaker 1>Am I focusing on the wrong thing? Am I overreacting

0:18:56.520 --> 0:19:00.560
<v Speaker 1>to this situation? Will this matter in ten minutes? Will

0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:04.040
<v Speaker 1>this matter in ten months? Will this matter in ten years?

0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:10.000
<v Speaker 1>Step five create a regret simulation. There's a famous quote

0:19:10.000 --> 0:19:16.240
<v Speaker 1>that says, fear of future regret warps present choices. We

0:19:16.400 --> 0:19:21.480
<v Speaker 1>wrongly fear regret before we decide, but Harvard research shows

0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:27.600
<v Speaker 1>that predicted regret is often exaggerated. Regret feels real. But

0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:33.000
<v Speaker 1>it's a simulation. We have to use it deliberately, not reactively.

0:19:34.000 --> 0:19:39.919
<v Speaker 1>Imagine both paths. Ask yourself, If I choose this and

0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:46.480
<v Speaker 1>it fails, will I respect who I become? Anyway? What

0:19:46.560 --> 0:19:49.600
<v Speaker 1>a great question. If I choose this and it fails,

0:19:49.800 --> 0:19:55.000
<v Speaker 1>will I respect who I became? Anyway? That's your real

0:19:55.119 --> 0:20:00.679
<v Speaker 1>north star, your integrity, not your outcome. Stop aiming for

0:20:00.760 --> 0:20:05.560
<v Speaker 1>a perfect life, Aim for a life you're proud to remember.

0:20:06.760 --> 0:20:11.880
<v Speaker 1>Stop holding back just to stay safe. Safety won't comfort

0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:18.680
<v Speaker 1>you at eighty. Stop letting fear make your decisions. It's

0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:21.919
<v Speaker 1>not the one who has to live with them. Stop

0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:26.399
<v Speaker 1>asking what if it goes wrong? Ask what if I

0:20:26.480 --> 0:20:31.679
<v Speaker 1>never tried? Stop replaying the past and use that energy

0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:37.080
<v Speaker 1>to create a better now. Step number six, ask the

0:20:37.280 --> 0:20:43.919
<v Speaker 1>three identity questions. Don't ask what's smart, ask what's in alignment.

0:20:44.800 --> 0:20:49.440
<v Speaker 1>Western psychology says we should maximize pleasure or avoid pain,

0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:54.320
<v Speaker 1>but Vadic wisdom teaches that the right action is the

0:20:54.359 --> 0:21:00.400
<v Speaker 1>one aligned with your deeper purpose. So ask what kind

0:21:00.400 --> 0:21:06.000
<v Speaker 1>of person do I want to become? Which decision reflects

0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:09.800
<v Speaker 1>that version of me? What am I willing to lose

0:21:10.320 --> 0:21:14.000
<v Speaker 1>to protect that? And you can write down your future

0:21:14.040 --> 0:21:19.399
<v Speaker 1>self in three bullet points and make your choices them

0:21:19.440 --> 0:21:23.399
<v Speaker 1>not as the current you. Deciding who you become is

0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:26.960
<v Speaker 1>the most important decision you'll ever make. But most of

0:21:27.040 --> 0:21:30.760
<v Speaker 1>us decide what we want. We decide what we desire.

0:21:31.400 --> 0:21:36.080
<v Speaker 1>We don't decide who we dream to be. We don't

0:21:36.119 --> 0:21:41.040
<v Speaker 1>desire with skills, what behaviors we wish to have, only

0:21:41.160 --> 0:21:44.800
<v Speaker 1>results we want to see. I hope this is your

0:21:44.840 --> 0:21:48.320
<v Speaker 1>reminder that whether you have the dream job or not,

0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:51.760
<v Speaker 1>whether you have the dream life or not, that you're

0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:55.160
<v Speaker 1>becoming the person you want to be that is ready

0:21:55.200 --> 0:22:00.680
<v Speaker 1>to receive what you deserve. Step number seven, Decide, then move.

0:22:01.600 --> 0:22:05.960
<v Speaker 1>The famous wisdom said, no decision is a decision. The

0:22:05.960 --> 0:22:12.640
<v Speaker 1>brain's anterior singular cortex hates uncertainty. That's why indecision feels

0:22:12.680 --> 0:22:20.280
<v Speaker 1>like anxiety. Action reduces anxiety, not certainty. Once you choose,

0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:26.160
<v Speaker 1>do something physical within five minutes, call the person, send

0:22:26.160 --> 0:22:32.959
<v Speaker 1>the email, book that ticket, cancel that plan. Remember, action

0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:38.960
<v Speaker 1>conquers anxiety, not staying the same, not overthinking, not figuring

0:22:39.000 --> 0:22:43.679
<v Speaker 1>it all out, actually moving forward. I hope these seven

0:22:43.760 --> 0:22:47.240
<v Speaker 1>steps help you towards making better decisions in your life,

0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:51.480
<v Speaker 1>overcoming overthinking, and overcoming procrastination. And I'll see you here

0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:54.480
<v Speaker 1>on another episode of On Purpose. Make sure you tag

0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:57.919
<v Speaker 1>me on TikTok, on Instagram, wherever you share all of

0:22:57.960 --> 0:23:01.480
<v Speaker 1>the insights that you're gaining. And remember, I'm forever in

0:23:01.520 --> 0:23:04.359
<v Speaker 1>your corner and I'm always rooting for you. If you

0:23:04.440 --> 0:23:07.720
<v Speaker 1>love this episode, you love my conversation with doctor Joe

0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:12.800
<v Speaker 1>Dispenser on why stressing overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart,

0:23:13.280 --> 0:23:16.240
<v Speaker 1>and how to change your habits that are on autopilot.

0:23:16.560 --> 0:23:19.720
<v Speaker 1>Listen to it right now. How many times do we

0:23:19.840 --> 0:23:23.280
<v Speaker 1>have to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering,

0:23:23.440 --> 0:23:26.000
<v Speaker 1>that's the moment of change. One cares how many times

0:23:26.040 --> 0:23:28.160
<v Speaker 1>you fell off the bicycle if you ride the bicycle,

0:23:28.200 --> 0:23:29.320
<v Speaker 1>Now you ride the bike.