1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 1: Stop waiting till you're perfect, Just start. Stop waiting to 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:11,960 Speaker 1: feel certain, progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till you feel ready. 3 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting till they approve. 4 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: Most people are too scared to even try. Stop waiting 5 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: for it to be easy. What transforms you really is 6 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:32,880 Speaker 1: the number one health and wellness podcast, Jay Sety, Jay 7 00:00:32,920 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: Shetty Jet. Hey everyone, it's Jay Shetty. Welcome back to 8 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: On Purpose. If you haven't already, make sure you subscribe. 9 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,720 Speaker 1: It makes a huge difference to us and it makes 10 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 1: sure you never miss an episode. If you want to 11 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,120 Speaker 1: build a mindset that is prepared for the challenges that 12 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: come up in the world we live in. If you 13 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: want to make sure that you have habits to transform 14 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: your life, if you want to make sure that you 15 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: have the inner world going in the same direction as 16 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,679 Speaker 1: your outer world, this is the place to be. Now. 17 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:18,480 Speaker 1: How many of you overthink, how many of you procrastinate, 18 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,120 Speaker 1: and how many of you keep going round and round 19 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,880 Speaker 1: in circles with the same thoughts. If you said yes 20 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: to any of those, this episode is for you. It's 21 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: all about creating a clear mind and how to make 22 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:40,040 Speaker 1: better decisions, how to choose smarter and how to live freer. 23 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: I think all of us are struggling in our lives 24 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: with overthinking. We're overwhelmed with the amount of information. We're 25 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: overwhelmed with the amount of choice. We're inundated with insight data. 26 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 1: We're being sold to. Our attention is being farmed right. 27 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,920 Speaker 1: People are literally trying to grab hold of our attention, 28 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 1: whether we're on the street, on the phone, wherever we are, 29 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: and so making better decisions has become harder. This episode 30 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 1: is going to help you make decisions quicker, smarter, and 31 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: better and help you waste less time procrastinating, overthinking, and 32 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: wasting time on decisions that maybe don't make a difference. 33 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:30,040 Speaker 1: Let's dive in. Step one is catch the noise. You 34 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:35,239 Speaker 1: don't have a clarity problem, you have a clutter problem. 35 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: Before we decide, we ruminate, we spiral, we crowdsource, we overthink. 36 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 1: But Stanford research shows that excessive deliberation reduces decision quality 37 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:54,079 Speaker 1: by up to twenty five percent due to something known 38 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: as decision fatigue. Now, what is decision fatigue? You might 39 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,640 Speaker 1: be wondering. Decision fatigue is the mental and emotional strain 40 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:07,880 Speaker 1: resulting from making too many decisions, especially in a row. 41 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 1: The more choices you make, the worse your decision making becomes. 42 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:17,239 Speaker 1: This is because every decision, big or small, draws from 43 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,640 Speaker 1: a limited pool of mental energy. This is a concept 44 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: backed by ego depletion theory. Once that pool is drained, 45 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: your brain defaults to either avoidance doing nothing. I'm sure 46 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:36,480 Speaker 1: you can relate, or impulse choosing the easiest or most 47 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: familiar option. Now think about that for a second. How 48 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 1: often do you make so many decisions? From the moment 49 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: you wake up, You're thinking about what to wear, what 50 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: to eat, what you're gonna do tonight, what you're going 51 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 1: to watch, all the different tasks you have to get 52 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: through today, packing the kid's lunch. Right, You've got a 53 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: million tasks, a million things to think about. By the 54 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: end of the day, what happens, you just want to 55 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: do nothing right, You want to get nothing done all. 56 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: What happens is you start making impulsive decisions that you 57 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: regret later. In one study, participants who are forced to 58 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: make many small decisions like choosing products, designs, or preferences 59 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: later performed significantly worse on tasks requiring self control. Now 60 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 1: that's what I love about this topic. It affects all 61 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,680 Speaker 1: parts of your life, your thinking. The issue is you 62 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,239 Speaker 1: don't have willpower your thinking. The issue is you don't 63 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: have self control. The truth is, when you've become exhausted 64 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 1: from making lots of small decisions, you lose that power. 65 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: It's a decision making problem. It's not a drive or 66 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: will problem. What this study shows is that over deliberation 67 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:56,800 Speaker 1: isn't just mentally exhausting. It actively reduces your ability to 68 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:02,240 Speaker 1: think clearly, increasing the chance to default to what's familiar. 69 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: That's actually one of the reason people like Steve Jobs, 70 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 1: Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg all minimize daily micro decisions, wearing 71 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: the same clothes to preserve cognitive energy for the bigger decisions. 72 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: They've even found in studies that judges in courts were 73 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,920 Speaker 1: found to give more favorable rulings early in the day 74 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 1: after many cases, after seeing many people, they actually struggled 75 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: to give favorable rulings. Now, how does this affect you? 76 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 1: Every should I adds up, every let me think one 77 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: more time drains fuel. So when you deliberate excessively, you 78 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 1: think you're being thorough, but you're actually weakening your judgment. 79 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: That's why your best decision isn't always the most analyzed. 80 00:05:55,960 --> 00:06:00,240 Speaker 1: It's the one made with a clear, rested mind. It's 81 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: why we say things like let me sleep on it, 82 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: because that clarity that rest helps you make a better decision. 83 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: Now here's an action tip. Protect decision making energy by 84 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:15,560 Speaker 1: making big decisions early in the day. A lot of 85 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: us start by making our small decisions, as opposed to 86 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,280 Speaker 1: focusing on the big ones. When you waste a lot 87 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:23,760 Speaker 1: of energy and all the small decisions, you've run out 88 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: of energy by the time it comes to your top priorities. 89 00:06:27,839 --> 00:06:32,280 Speaker 1: So batch the small decisions meals, clothes roots to take. 90 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 1: Do it the night before, do it a week in advance. 91 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: Also use pre made criteria. If X, then I always do. Why. 92 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:48,880 Speaker 1: Stop overthinking things that won't matter in five years. Stop 93 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:54,280 Speaker 1: overthinking replies to people who wouldn't notice if you disappeared. 94 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:59,240 Speaker 1: Stop overthinking how you look to people who don't look 95 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:04,240 Speaker 1: out for you. Stop overthinking your path just because it 96 00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:09,360 Speaker 1: doesn't look like theirs. Stop overthinking the past when your 97 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 1: future is trying to get your focus. Stop overthinking all 98 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: of these other small, insignificant decisions that don't impact the 99 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: quality of your life. Step two, label the type of decision. 100 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: Not all decisions deserve the same energy. That's a quote 101 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: from Jeff Bezos. And here I want to introduce you 102 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: to what's known as type one versus type two framework 103 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: for decision making. Type one is if a decision is 104 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:49,960 Speaker 1: irreversible and high stakes, think deeply. A Type two decision 105 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: is something that's reversible and low stakes, decide fast. Let 106 00:07:55,920 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 1: me say that again. If something is irreversible and high stakes, 107 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:07,440 Speaker 1: think deeply. If something is reversible and low stakes, decide faster. 108 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: Most people treat every decision in life like life or death. 109 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: That's how they get paralyzed. Right. Most of us think 110 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:23,000 Speaker 1: this decision will defire my entire life, when in reality, 111 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 1: you can apply for a new job, you can quit 112 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 1: this job, you can look for other work, you will 113 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:33,160 Speaker 1: find another manager. These are all options, but our mind 114 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: makes us feel like there are only two either survive 115 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: or die. And as soon as your brain puts that 116 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:46,840 Speaker 1: pressure onto you, what happens. You get paralyzed. You stop 117 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: having the ability to make a healthier decision knowing that 118 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: there are always more than two options. For example, let's 119 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,440 Speaker 1: say you're not enjoying your work. Let's say you're not 120 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,400 Speaker 1: doing something you're passionate about. In your head, you think 121 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:04,160 Speaker 1: there are two options. I either stay here and hate it, 122 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:07,679 Speaker 1: or I leave and I fail. You don't think about 123 00:09:07,679 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: the third option. Maybe I should build a new skill. 124 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: Maybe I should update my LinkedIn profile, Maybe I should 125 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: update my resume. Maybe I should start a side hustle. 126 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: These are all opportunities and options that we don't even 127 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:28,080 Speaker 1: consider because we think there are only two options. When 128 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: we realize that most things are reversible and most things 129 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: are not that high states, we actually expand our worldview. 130 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 1: Here's a mini action for you. Ask yourself, if I 131 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: choose wrong, can I recover? If yes, then act, If no, 132 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: then investigate further. Most people treat type two decisions like 133 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:57,200 Speaker 1: type one decisions. Decisions that are reversible and low states. 134 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:02,080 Speaker 1: We treat them as irreversible and high states. When we 135 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 1: treat type one decisions like type two decisions, it's a disaster. Right, 136 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 1: choosing who to marry is a type one decision. It's 137 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 1: high stakes, and even though it is reversible, it's something 138 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: that's challenging to reverse. So it becomes a disaster if 139 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 1: we act fast and we don't think about it, and 140 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,200 Speaker 1: I've already talked about how we do the opposite, spend 141 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:29,840 Speaker 1: more time on the few choices that matter and stop 142 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:34,199 Speaker 1: wasting brain power on what doesn't. I also want to 143 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,839 Speaker 1: share with you something that I really came across when 144 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: I was at university. I realized you needed seventy percent 145 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: to get a first class degree. Seventy percent, so that 146 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 1: means somebody got seventy percent and somebody got ninety nine 147 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 1: percent ended up with the same grade of getting a 148 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:54,200 Speaker 1: first class. Sixty to seventy in England was a two 149 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: to one, fifty to sixty was a two to two, 150 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:01,440 Speaker 1: and anything below that was a three. And so when 151 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: you think about that, a lot of us are trying 152 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,199 Speaker 1: to be at ninety nine when all we need to 153 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: do is be at seventy now. Jeff Bezos also shares this, 154 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 1: most decisions should probably made with around seventy percent of 155 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: the information you wish you had. If you wait for 156 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: ninety percent, in most cases, you're probably being slow. This 157 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 1: is a really important thing to remember because in the 158 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,439 Speaker 1: process of wanting to be ninety percent perfect, we end 159 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: up not even starting. And this ties into satisficing. A 160 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:41,760 Speaker 1: concept in decision theory that says good enough is often 161 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:47,720 Speaker 1: better than perfect, because perfection is a trap and speed 162 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: creates momentum. I want to give you a real life example. 163 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: This is a real Amazon example. In Amazon's early days, 164 00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: choosing where to place new fulfillment centers was a type decision. 165 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:06,040 Speaker 1: If a location underperformed, they'd shut it down or reallocate it. 166 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: But building Amazon Web services, that's a type one decision. 167 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:16,079 Speaker 1: This required full commitment and long term thinking. Bezos taught 168 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: his team be nimble with reversibles, be deliberate with irreversibles. 169 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:27,480 Speaker 1: Here's the practical application for you. Ask these three questions. 170 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:32,360 Speaker 1: If I get it wrong, is the damage small or permanent? 171 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,439 Speaker 1: Can I test this on a small scale before going 172 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,040 Speaker 1: all in? And here's a bonus thought. The enemy of 173 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: speed is not caution, it's confusion. This Bezos framework isn't 174 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: just about fast versus slow. It's about clarity. Knowing what 175 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,840 Speaker 1: kind of decision you're making is the first decision you 176 00:12:54,880 --> 00:13:01,280 Speaker 1: should make. Stop waiting till you're perfect, just start. Stop 177 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:07,120 Speaker 1: waiting to feel certain. Progress builds confidence. Stop waiting till 178 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 1: you feel ready. Confidence comes after, not before. Stop waiting 179 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:17,760 Speaker 1: till they approve. Most people are too scared to even 180 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:22,960 Speaker 1: try stop waiting till you have more time. You make 181 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:27,840 Speaker 1: time for what matters. Stop waiting for it to be easy. 182 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: What transforms you really is Step three. Feel first, then 183 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:56,319 Speaker 1: think Now might sound counterintuitive, but stick with me. One 184 00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,560 Speaker 1: of my favorite quotes is from Antonio Dimascio. He said, 185 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:07,440 Speaker 1: we make our decisions emotionally, then justify them logically. This 186 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:11,280 Speaker 1: idea from Antonio Domasio is one of the most powerful 187 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 1: and underacknowledged truths about how we actually make decisions. Let's 188 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: break it down now. Doctor Antonio Domacio is a renowned neuroscientist. 189 00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: His most influential work centers on how emotion is essential 190 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 1: for rational decision making, a direct challenge to the old 191 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:36,840 Speaker 1: school belief that logic alone leads to better choices. His 192 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 1: groundbreaking book Descartes Error reshaped modern neuroscience by proving we 193 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:48,479 Speaker 1: are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines 194 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: that think. Now. Here's the science. Demassio studied patients with 195 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 1: damage to the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the 196 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 1: brain that connect emotional processing with rational thinking. These patients 197 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 1: had normal IQ. They could reason and analyze logically, but 198 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 1: couldn't make basic decisions, even about where to eat, what 199 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:17,800 Speaker 1: to wear, or which pen to use. They were emotionally numb. 200 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: As a result, their decision making broke down completely. His conclusion, 201 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: Without emotion, logic stores emotion isn't noise, it's navigation. Here's 202 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: what this really means in real life. You feel something first, desire, fear, excitement, guilt. 203 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: Then your brain builds a logical story to support or 204 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:49,880 Speaker 1: justify that feeling. Example, you feel anxious about leaving your job, 205 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:55,359 Speaker 1: so you build a logical case like the market's unstable 206 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 1: or this isn't the right time. But deep down your 207 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: head visitation might be emotional fear of failure, fear of judgment, 208 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: fear of losing identity. The logic is the cover, the 209 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 1: emotion is the compass. Feel first, then think clearly. If 210 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: you skip the emotional layer, your logic becomes reactive, not intentional. 211 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: So here's how to use this insight. This is a 212 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: three step emotion check in before big decisions. Name the 213 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:39,720 Speaker 1: dominant emotion you're feeling. Is it excitement, fear, shame, pressure, envy, 214 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: and then ask is this emotion trustworthy or distorted by 215 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: past wounds? Then engage logic. Now you're making decisions from wholeness, 216 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: not habit, So to me, asking that question what emotion 217 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 1: is driving this decision and naming it fear, guilt, love, ego? 218 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: Then asking is that emotion trustworthy right now? Will save 219 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: you so much. I'll give an example. If someone hurts 220 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:16,159 Speaker 1: me and I'm thinking about hurting them back. If I 221 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:20,119 Speaker 1: ask myself where's that coming from, it's coming from revenge. 222 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,960 Speaker 1: Is that trustworthy right now as an emotion? Probably not 223 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,160 Speaker 1: so how I want to behave and how I want 224 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:31,560 Speaker 1: to act, Maybe something I regret. Don't ignore your intuition. 225 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 1: Stop mistrusting your first reaction because it's often your deepest wisdom. 226 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:45,879 Speaker 1: Stop calling it overthinking when it's actually your soul saying no. 227 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:51,960 Speaker 1: Stop asking for clarity from others when your nervous system 228 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: already gave you an answer. Stop pretending you don't know 229 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:03,120 Speaker 1: when you've known all alone. Step four play the ten 230 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:08,360 Speaker 1: ten ten game. Most regrets aren't from what we choose, 231 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,640 Speaker 1: but from not zooming out. That's from Susie Welch's ten 232 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: ten ten rule. Ask yourself, how will I feel about 233 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:21,120 Speaker 1: this in ten minutes? How will I feel about this 234 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:25,679 Speaker 1: in ten months? How will I feel about this? In 235 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 1: ten years. This activates the door selateral prefrontal cortex, the 236 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:36,400 Speaker 1: part of the brain responsible for long term thinking, basically 237 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 1: reducing impulsive errors. Here's a mini action voice record yourself 238 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 1: answering those three questions. Don't write, speak Speaking activates deeper truth. 239 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 1: It's a great way of asking yourself. Am I wasting time? 240 00:18:53,119 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 1: Am I focusing on the wrong thing? Am I overreacting 241 00:18:56,520 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: to this situation? Will this matter in ten minutes? Will 242 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: this matter in ten months? Will this matter in ten years? 243 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:10,000 Speaker 1: Step five create a regret simulation. There's a famous quote 244 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 1: that says, fear of future regret warps present choices. We 245 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:21,480 Speaker 1: wrongly fear regret before we decide, but Harvard research shows 246 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:27,600 Speaker 1: that predicted regret is often exaggerated. Regret feels real. But 247 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:33,000 Speaker 1: it's a simulation. We have to use it deliberately, not reactively. 248 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:39,919 Speaker 1: Imagine both paths. Ask yourself, If I choose this and 249 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:46,480 Speaker 1: it fails, will I respect who I become? Anyway? What 250 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,600 Speaker 1: a great question. If I choose this and it fails, 251 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:55,000 Speaker 1: will I respect who I became? Anyway? That's your real 252 00:19:55,119 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 1: north star, your integrity, not your outcome. Stop aiming for 253 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 1: a perfect life, Aim for a life you're proud to remember. 254 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 1: Stop holding back just to stay safe. Safety won't comfort 255 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:18,680 Speaker 1: you at eighty. Stop letting fear make your decisions. It's 256 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:21,919 Speaker 1: not the one who has to live with them. Stop 257 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: asking what if it goes wrong? Ask what if I 258 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:31,679 Speaker 1: never tried? Stop replaying the past and use that energy 259 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:37,080 Speaker 1: to create a better now. Step number six, ask the 260 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:43,919 Speaker 1: three identity questions. Don't ask what's smart, ask what's in alignment. 261 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:49,440 Speaker 1: Western psychology says we should maximize pleasure or avoid pain, 262 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:54,320 Speaker 1: but Vadic wisdom teaches that the right action is the 263 00:20:54,359 --> 00:21:00,400 Speaker 1: one aligned with your deeper purpose. So ask what kind 264 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:06,000 Speaker 1: of person do I want to become? Which decision reflects 265 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: that version of me? What am I willing to lose 266 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 1: to protect that? And you can write down your future 267 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 1: self in three bullet points and make your choices them 268 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:23,399 Speaker 1: not as the current you. Deciding who you become is 269 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,960 Speaker 1: the most important decision you'll ever make. But most of 270 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,760 Speaker 1: us decide what we want. We decide what we desire. 271 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: We don't decide who we dream to be. We don't 272 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: desire with skills, what behaviors we wish to have, only 273 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 1: results we want to see. I hope this is your 274 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: reminder that whether you have the dream job or not, 275 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: whether you have the dream life or not, that you're 276 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:55,160 Speaker 1: becoming the person you want to be that is ready 277 00:21:55,200 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 1: to receive what you deserve. Step number seven, Decide, then move. 278 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:05,960 Speaker 1: The famous wisdom said, no decision is a decision. The 279 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:12,640 Speaker 1: brain's anterior singular cortex hates uncertainty. That's why indecision feels 280 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:20,280 Speaker 1: like anxiety. Action reduces anxiety, not certainty. Once you choose, 281 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:26,160 Speaker 1: do something physical within five minutes, call the person, send 282 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:32,959 Speaker 1: the email, book that ticket, cancel that plan. Remember, action 283 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:38,960 Speaker 1: conquers anxiety, not staying the same, not overthinking, not figuring 284 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:43,679 Speaker 1: it all out, actually moving forward. I hope these seven 285 00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:47,240 Speaker 1: steps help you towards making better decisions in your life, 286 00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,480 Speaker 1: overcoming overthinking, and overcoming procrastination. And I'll see you here 287 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 1: on another episode of On Purpose. Make sure you tag 288 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,919 Speaker 1: me on TikTok, on Instagram, wherever you share all of 289 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: the insights that you're gaining. And remember, I'm forever in 290 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,359 Speaker 1: your corner and I'm always rooting for you. If you 291 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: love this episode, you love my conversation with doctor Joe 292 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:12,800 Speaker 1: Dispenser on why stressing overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart, 293 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 1: and how to change your habits that are on autopilot. 294 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 1: Listen to it right now. How many times do we 295 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,280 Speaker 1: have to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering, 296 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 1: that's the moment of change. One cares how many times 297 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: you fell off the bicycle if you ride the bicycle, 298 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:29,320 Speaker 1: Now you ride the bike.