1 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Hello everybody. I'm Jemma Spake and welcome back to the 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: Psychology of Your Twenties, the podcast where we talk through 3 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:16,000 Speaker 1: the biggest changes, moments and transitions of our twenties and 4 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: what they mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back 5 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 1: to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, 6 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: old listeners. Wherever you are in the world, it is 7 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: so great to have you here. Back for another episode 8 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: as we, of course break down the Psychology of our twenties. Today, guys, 9 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:49,959 Speaker 1: I have some big news. I moved to London. Might 10 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: not be big news for some of you who follow 11 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: me on Instagram, but it's true. I've made the leap 12 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 1: across the pond. The Psychology of Your Twenties is a 13 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:05,880 Speaker 1: ficial a UK based podcast. It's been very exciting and 14 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 1: I want to talk about my decision to move overseas 15 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: in my twenties, what's been going on, what we've learnt, 16 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 1: some of the failing, some of the harder parts, the 17 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: cultural adjustments, and yeah, just some advice that I would 18 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: give for people who want to do the same, and 19 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: how I'm going to plan to meet friends and all 20 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Like there's just a lot to 21 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: talk about. To begin with, I move with my boyfriend, 22 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: with my lovely, amazing boyfriend, and I'm going to tell 23 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:40,039 Speaker 1: you the story of how we decided on London and 24 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,280 Speaker 1: kind of when we decided and how we decided to move. 25 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,319 Speaker 1: So taking it all the way back to when I 26 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,360 Speaker 1: first met him. When I first met Tom, I feel 27 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:53,280 Speaker 1: like you guys know the story, but it was very unexpected. 28 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:56,920 Speaker 1: I was in Bali, I was on hinge, and I 29 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: matched with this guy then ended up ghosting in for 30 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,080 Speaker 1: a little bit. That guy, I've now been with him 31 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: for like almost three years and he's incredible. At the 32 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,360 Speaker 1: time that I met him though, I had just quit 33 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,440 Speaker 1: my full time job and I was like, I'm a 34 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: single girl in her twenties. I want to move to London. 35 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,480 Speaker 1: And for those who are in the UK or in Australia, 36 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:21,960 Speaker 1: you'll know it's like a big trend. There's like a 37 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: whole joke that you turn twenty five in Australia and 38 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: you move to London. Like it's a very classic, like 39 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: my migratory pattern, like a lot of people do it. 40 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: I genuinely think that at this point I have more 41 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: friends in like Australian friends in London than I did 42 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: in Sydney because of just like you know how how 43 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 1: classic it is. And I was like, you know what, 44 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,519 Speaker 1: London sounds great. I like knew a lot of people here, 45 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: and I was going to move at the end of 46 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,239 Speaker 1: the year, and then I met this amazing person. And 47 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 1: I feel like when I met Tom, I was in 48 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:58,959 Speaker 1: such a great centered headspace of like a man does 49 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: not come first, and if this guy, who I obviously 50 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: am really into like isn't doesn't have the same dreams 51 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 1: as me, that's okay, but like I'm not gonna pretend 52 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: it's going to work. So very quickly I said to him, 53 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:14,360 Speaker 1: I want to let you know, like I really plan 54 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: on living overseas wherever that may be, Like my heart's 55 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:24,120 Speaker 1: really set on like either London or like Seattle or 56 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:27,160 Speaker 1: I think I also really wanted to move to Copenhagen. 57 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,280 Speaker 1: And I was like, my heart's really set on that, 58 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,520 Speaker 1: So you know it is a deal breaker if that's 59 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: not in your life plans, can you let me know? 60 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 1: He like took some time away and was like, I've 61 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,120 Speaker 1: decided that I would really want to do that with 62 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: you if things go well. Obviously we've literally have been 63 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,920 Speaker 1: dating for six months. Now that I think about it, 64 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: it's just a little bit wild that. I was like, 65 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: so when am we gonna move overseas And he's like, 66 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: I don't even I don't even know your blood type, 67 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: I don't know your parents, like you know, but I 68 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,840 Speaker 1: would recommend it. We got very clear on it. He 69 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,040 Speaker 1: is a lawyer. I don't know if I've told said 70 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: that before, but he's a lawyer. And in Australia, you 71 00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: become a lawyer and then you have to do two 72 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: years of like professional practicing, So technically is a lawyer, 73 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,240 Speaker 1: but you've got to get this thing called PAE. You've 74 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,200 Speaker 1: got a practice and then you can become a like 75 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 1: a I'm gonna butcher it, but like a licensed lawyer, 76 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 1: like you can practice without supervision. It's kind of the 77 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,120 Speaker 1: same with like doing residency as a doctor. And he 78 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,359 Speaker 1: said to me, you know I have to do this though, 79 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: So here's the kicker. If you want to move, you're 80 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: gonna have to give me two years because he literally 81 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,720 Speaker 1: just become a lawyer, so you don't have to give 82 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: me two years. And I, yeah, you know, now that 83 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: story has a good end, But I at the time, 84 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: like everybody was like why are you doing that? Like 85 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 1: why are you gonna put your life on hold, put 86 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,440 Speaker 1: a dream that you have on hold for two years 87 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 1: for this guy that you've only known for six months, 88 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:50,279 Speaker 1: and like, hope it's gonna work out. And he says 89 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:51,919 Speaker 1: he wants to come with you, but what if he doesn't? 90 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 1: I you I could trust him the two years just 91 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: like flew by. At the start of this year, we 92 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:00,720 Speaker 1: sat down and we were like, are we going to 93 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,480 Speaker 1: do this? Like is this something that we're going to do? 94 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: You know, that was a goal I set and you 95 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: really he also was really keen on like a little 96 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,840 Speaker 1: while ago now, like time like a year in your 97 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: twenties is like five years, Like so much can change 98 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: during that time, Like is this still something that we 99 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: want to do? And you know, he said, I'm so 100 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 1: freco lutely let's do it. So we set a date. 101 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 1: We were like, dessemble works really really well because obviously 102 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: that's when he passes, like finished this as pae and 103 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: we booked our flights and it all happened very very quickly. 104 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:37,920 Speaker 1: This is the ironic thing. This is the weird thing 105 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 1: to have a plan, Like we should have planned more, right, 106 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,600 Speaker 1: We knew this was going to happen for two years, 107 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: and I genuinely think we only made the plans for 108 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: it to happen in the last two months. Like I 109 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,479 Speaker 1: know that we booked our flights in October mainly because 110 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: life is just very busy and chaotic. And it's not 111 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: that we weren't committed to going, but I think we 112 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,280 Speaker 1: were just like, when is going to be the right 113 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: time do we do before Christmas? After Christmas? And it 114 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 1: just kind of ended up working that, Yeah, we've moved 115 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: right before the holidays, and it's beautiful and it's Christmasy. 116 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: So far it has been incredible. Here have been the 117 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,279 Speaker 1: biggest adjustments. Firstly is the weather. I at the weather 118 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: and the sunlight, and I know that's like so cliche 119 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: and so many people talk about it. When I'm in Australia, 120 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,159 Speaker 1: I spend I would say a good three to four 121 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:29,359 Speaker 1: hours outdoor outdoors a day. I'm walking my dog, I 122 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:33,040 Speaker 1: go for walks, I work in my backyard. I really 123 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: like the sunshine and it really doesn't get that cold. 124 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: Some people complain about it, but it's like it's really 125 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: not that bad. The sun setting at like four pm 126 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: has smashed me and also made it very hard to 127 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:52,919 Speaker 1: fight jet lag because as soon as it hits four pm, 128 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,279 Speaker 1: I want to have like a little mold wine and 129 00:06:55,279 --> 00:06:58,280 Speaker 1: I want to go to bed, and what baby wants 130 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: baby gets. So I've been letting my self through that. 131 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: I've been like holding out till like seven thirty eight, 132 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:06,360 Speaker 1: but definitely, like I'm the jet like is making it harder, 133 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: and I just feel like the difficulty of being indoors 134 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: a lot more and not getting as much sunshine has 135 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:17,800 Speaker 1: been difficult. Also coming at Christmas time. I like the 136 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: week we got here, I went and had dinner with 137 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: like two of my best friends, Stephan Joe who moved 138 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: like three months before we did. And Steph we were 139 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: like having dinner and she was like, have you been 140 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: shoved yet? And I was like no, what the heck? 141 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 1: And She's like I was like, no, I haven't been shoved. 142 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: Nobody shoves, Nobody's gonna shove me. Like I'm pretty tall, 143 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: I'm like got broad shoulders, Like no one's gonna shove me. 144 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 1: And she was like, one of these days, you're gonna 145 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: get shoved, You're gonna get pushed, and then you're gonna 146 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: come to me and say this today was the day 147 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: that I was shoved. I'm officially I can say I'm 148 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: living in London, and then it literally happened the next day, 149 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: getting on the tube, getting on the bus. I feel 150 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 1: like there's so much bodily contact with strangers that like 151 00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 1: I don't have in Australia, and a lot less like 152 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: cheerio and high and chatting. Maybe just because it's winter. 153 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: That's been a little bit of an adjustment also, you know, 154 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: just to take a turn, Like you know, there was 155 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: a like a terrorist attack in Australia went like a 156 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: lesson five days after we got here. It was like 157 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: this anti Semitic terrorist attack in a place that like 158 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: we called home and that we visited and that we knew. 159 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: I my to my best friends used to live across 160 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: the road from where the festival, the Harnker Festival was 161 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: being held, and I remember, like this is wild, but 162 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: two years ago when it was being held, I was 163 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 1: pet sitting their dog and watching the festival and to 164 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:52,120 Speaker 1: think that like, yeah, oh my god, I need to 165 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: not get emotional about it because it's very sad. But 166 00:08:56,920 --> 00:09:00,440 Speaker 1: you know, in Australia, like this stuff doesn't happened and 167 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,640 Speaker 1: I know everybody says that, but it really doesn't. And 168 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: it's so shocking and it's been hard. I'm excited about 169 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: living in London, but it has been hard feeling like 170 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:14,439 Speaker 1: you want to mourn and grieve and be around friends 171 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:19,080 Speaker 1: and family, but they're thousands of miles away and you 172 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,560 Speaker 1: don't live in that city anymore, and everyone around you 173 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,440 Speaker 1: in this new city that you live in is carrying 174 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 1: on as usual and it just doesn't feel like it's 175 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: just a weird transplant moment where you're like, I just 176 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,720 Speaker 1: want to talk to somebody about this, and yeah, everybody's 177 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: just kind of going on about that day. Like when 178 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: Australia is asleep, we're awake and so you know, you 179 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:42,520 Speaker 1: go to bed and then all this news comes in 180 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: and you wake up and you have nobody to really 181 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,800 Speaker 1: process it with. And there's a lot of Australians in 182 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: London and in the UK, and it's been this weird 183 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 1: experience where I was in Sainsbury's the other day and 184 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 1: I like heard somebody with an Australian accent and it 185 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 1: was weird. I like wanted to Oh my god, I 186 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:04,200 Speaker 1: don't want to cry, but like I wanted to go 187 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,959 Speaker 1: over and say hi and just be like it was 188 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: it this weird gravitational pool of like this terrible thing 189 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:14,079 Speaker 1: has happened, and like it was a weird. I'm not 190 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:16,120 Speaker 1: going to go up to a stranger and be like, hey, 191 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:19,200 Speaker 1: can you help me process like I don't know, like 192 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:25,320 Speaker 1: my my weird disenfranchised grief and maybe you also guilt 193 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:29,000 Speaker 1: for not being able to support the victims and in 194 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: my friends and family. So yeah, wow, that took a turn. 195 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: It took a turn, but it's it's just been a 196 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: weird experience being like just wanting to do something for 197 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:43,679 Speaker 1: your community and these people and they have lost their 198 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: lives and these victims and having to just kind of 199 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 1: watch from a thousand miles away and hope that like 200 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: the love that you're sending from Afar is being received 201 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:58,959 Speaker 1: and that I don't know, it's just so awful. It's 202 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: just so awful. But some of the other like how 203 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 1: do you change, how do how do we theme change 204 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,760 Speaker 1: from here? Let's talk about maybe apartment hunting. There we go. Ow, 205 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: it's funny because like, as this has been happening, like 206 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: also like we don't really have a place to live, 207 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 1: and it was really stressing me out, like when we 208 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,680 Speaker 1: got here and then this has happened, it just feels 209 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:23,640 Speaker 1: like it doesn't really matter as much. Like it's been 210 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 1: very bizarre where I'm like, oh, you know, the first 211 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: few days we were here, we got like some bad 212 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 1: news that like our sublet had fallen through and these 213 00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: like some amazing couple had like offered to let us 214 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 1: sublet their home for three months because they were going 215 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 1: to the US, and then her visa got denied. So 216 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: we literally found out like on the plane that like, oh, 217 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,839 Speaker 1: we don't have anywhere to live come January. So it's 218 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,160 Speaker 1: been like this very rapid series of events and things 219 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: that are going on. Apartment hunting in London is not 220 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: for the week. I will just say that the amount 221 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: of price gouging that has had like people who were like, well, 222 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,680 Speaker 1: we will offer, and then they'll say, well, somebody else 223 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: has just offered more and we've accepted their offer. But 224 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 1: if you want to offer nine hundred quid, like we 225 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: could totally go for that. And then we're like, oh yeah, okay, 226 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,400 Speaker 1: we can offer that. They go oh bound luck like 227 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: somebody else has come back with the other offering, Like 228 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: what is going on in this location? And then just 229 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: like getting references in and how quickly things move. Uh, 230 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:28,080 Speaker 1: fingers crossed. By the time you're listening to this episode, 231 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 1: we will have an apartment because we put in an offer, 232 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: it got accepted, we put in our references. That literally 233 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,959 Speaker 1: happened within twenty four hours. Like we we reached out 234 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 1: and like we want to see the place, and then 235 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 1: we saw it, and then we put an offer and 236 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 1: it was accepted, and then they did our references. We 237 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:51,040 Speaker 1: haven't heard anything since, so I'm like, fingers crossed, it's 238 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,560 Speaker 1: gonna be okay. But that has just been like a 239 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: whole like experience of just of stress, Like moving countries 240 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,199 Speaker 1: is deeply, deeply stressful. And I think I was a 241 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 1: little bit naive and thinking, like it's not going to 242 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,800 Speaker 1: be that bad because I work for myself and like 243 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: I don't have to job hunt. I thought that because 244 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,560 Speaker 1: I don't have to look for a job, this is 245 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 1: going to be really easy. No, it's just a major 246 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: adjustment and it's definitely like given me a bit of 247 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 1: a flare up in yeah, some obsessive thinking, some anxious thinking, 248 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 1: and I like before we left, I was like, why 249 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,800 Speaker 1: am I so stressed? Why am I so emotional, and 250 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: Tom and my friends were like, because you're moving countries 251 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,440 Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, but we're not there yet, 252 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: so it's like it shouldn't be this overwhelming, and yeah, 253 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 1: I think I definitely underestimated. Yeah, how overwhelming it's going 254 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,360 Speaker 1: to be. How weird it is to say goodbye to 255 00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,199 Speaker 1: everybody but still feel like you know you saw them 256 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: a week ago, which is like kind of normal you 257 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,480 Speaker 1: sometimes don't see your friends for a week, but knowing 258 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,840 Speaker 1: like you're not going to see them the next few 259 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:54,160 Speaker 1: weeks and having that bit of loneliness as well. I've 260 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: only been here for I don't know how long has 261 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 1: it been, like genuinely a week, and I've already felt 262 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,400 Speaker 1: this pressure like how come I do not have any 263 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: new friends here? It's like, have you've been here for 264 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 1: a week? And like, how can we Our apartment that 265 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: we don't even have the keys to isn't fully furnished yet, 266 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:10,800 Speaker 1: and how come we don't have our UK bank accounts open? 267 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: And I don't know if this has been your experience 268 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,560 Speaker 1: if you've moved countries in your twenties, but it feels 269 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,320 Speaker 1: like you get here and you expect your life to 270 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 1: be pre built, and you forget that like the city 271 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 1: you were in before and maybe the one before that, 272 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 1: you had to build that from nothing and you had 273 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 1: to build that up. That's not just going to be 274 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:34,080 Speaker 1: transplanted to wherever you are. So I'm excited about that process. 275 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: I'm also very nervous about it, and I want to 276 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 1: talk about my approach, my game plan. I'm a very 277 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,720 Speaker 1: efficient person and I like to have like my steps 278 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 1: and plays for like how I'm going to achieve something, 279 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,200 Speaker 1: how I'm going to achieve friendship. So I'm gonna talk 280 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: about that after this short break. Stay with us, okay, 281 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:01,040 Speaker 1: so we'll here we're in London. Couple questions that people 282 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: had for me about the move. The first is what 283 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,520 Speaker 1: is happening to Tayloo my dog? So, in case you 284 00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: don't know, I adopted a dog this last year this 285 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: year and she's a line of my life and she 286 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,320 Speaker 1: is wonderful. It is quite difficult to get pets into 287 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 1: the UK, but also to get pets back into Australia. 288 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: This kind of feeds into another question, which is how 289 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,520 Speaker 1: long do you plan to stay? And the thing is 290 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 1: is that we don't know. So our decision process was 291 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: there is no point putting her through the process of 292 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 1: moving if in six months even a year where like, 293 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: we actually don't like it here and we want to 294 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,440 Speaker 1: move back. So what we're going to do is give 295 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:50,080 Speaker 1: ourselves six months to make a decision on how long 296 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 1: do we want to stay, and if it's less than 297 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 1: a year, we won't move her over, and if it's 298 00:15:55,560 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: more then we will. Trust me, she is fine, having 299 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: the time of her life. She's staying with my parents 300 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:09,080 Speaker 1: and my sisters. They really wanted another dog, really want 301 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 1: another dog, but my childhood dog is quite elderly and 302 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: he's still alive, and they didn't want to get a 303 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: puppy or they didn't want to get, you know, a 304 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: new untrained dog when our childhood dog was still alive 305 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:25,520 Speaker 1: and like, you know, you don't want his replacement to 306 00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: be sitting right there. It's kind of like a weird 307 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 1: cruel thing. But they did really want like another dog 308 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 1: in the house, especially as he's getting older, and it 309 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,360 Speaker 1: just kind of worked out perfectly. Also, because my parents 310 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 1: are going to be empty nesters in the next couple 311 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: of years, they didn't want to get a new dog 312 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 1: and then be like, now we don't have any kids, 313 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 1: at home to play with this dog. And you know, 314 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: my sisters really want a dog, but like you know, 315 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 1: they're going to be out of home and they're not 316 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:49,840 Speaker 1: going to take care of it and they're not going 317 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 1: to be around. So actually it's worked out really really well, 318 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,920 Speaker 1: and her and my childhood dog get along very well. 319 00:16:55,920 --> 00:16:58,920 Speaker 1: It's very cute. My sister also has this cat that 320 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: she found, uh, who's very cute actually, and they're like 321 00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,119 Speaker 1: giving along. And my other sister has a rabbit. My 322 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 1: three sisters, I have a dog, my sister has a rabbit, 323 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 1: my other sister has a cat. They all look exactly 324 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 1: the same. They are all a very specific kind of 325 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 1: black and white animal. And like we always joke that 326 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: that's like out yeah, like the reflection of our soul 327 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:23,720 Speaker 1: is in the pets that we chose, but the fact 328 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: they all look the same is quite funny. Like we 329 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:29,639 Speaker 1: have the same pet in different fonts. So Tyler was fine, 330 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: Tyler was very happy. Kind of hurt my feelings a 331 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 1: little bit when I don't actually think she knows that 332 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,920 Speaker 1: I'm gone. I'm sure she does, but like my sisters 333 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,800 Speaker 1: are sending me photos, I'm like, this dog is having 334 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,520 Speaker 1: a great time. Not that I wanted her to feel sad, 335 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,119 Speaker 1: but I was like, oh great, she she's already forgotten 336 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 1: about me, which is both a good, happy and kind 337 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: of like a bittersweet thing. Second question, how long we 338 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:55,520 Speaker 1: gonna stay? Sorry to properly address that, the like, ultimately, 339 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 1: my visa is for three years, and then we can 340 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: apply for permanent see if we love it. That's probably 341 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,080 Speaker 1: getting a little bit ahead of myself. I'm just going 342 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,160 Speaker 1: to see how the first six months goes, and if 343 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 1: we love it, if we're enjoying it, if we're making 344 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 1: progress towards loving it, we will stay. We will bring 345 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:16,440 Speaker 1: over our beautiful dog, and hopefully be happy with that decision. 346 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,040 Speaker 1: But I also am like trying not to be afraid 347 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,119 Speaker 1: of saying I'm wrong and going back on decisions because 348 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,320 Speaker 1: they're not right. I had this big thing before I left, 349 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 1: of like what if I moved to London and I 350 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 1: don't like it and you know people, and then I 351 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 1: have to tell people I don't like it and I 352 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,199 Speaker 1: have to move home and I'm a failure, And like, 353 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,280 Speaker 1: I'm not having any of that anymore. I'm just cutting 354 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,600 Speaker 1: off that thought from my brain. If it's not right, 355 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna linger. I'm not going to try and 356 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,639 Speaker 1: convince myself it's right. I'm going to give it the 357 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: best I've got and then just trust that things are 358 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,320 Speaker 1: going to fall into place. And if it's not and 359 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,200 Speaker 1: the feeling isn't there, we move on to the next thing. 360 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 1: We move home, we move somewhere else. How am I 361 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: going to make friends? This is not the first time 362 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: I've moved to a new city that I do not know. 363 00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 1: I moved to Canberra for university. I moved to Sydney 364 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:12,320 Speaker 1: after university. Now I live in London. I know that 365 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 1: it's going to take three months to feel good about 366 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:22,439 Speaker 1: the decision, six months to feel like I have some 367 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,800 Speaker 1: friends and I have some community, and part of that 368 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,200 Speaker 1: is just time. I often give this advice to people 369 00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:30,639 Speaker 1: who are like, I've moved to a new city, What 370 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,040 Speaker 1: do I do? You've got to abide by the six 371 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,840 Speaker 1: month rule. The first three months are going to be 372 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: really hard. The first six months are going to be difficult. 373 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 1: But it's almost a science that, like when you hit 374 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 1: the six month mark, something will change for you, especially 375 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 1: if this is where you're meant to be, especially if 376 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,199 Speaker 1: you're putting in the time and putting in the effort 377 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,440 Speaker 1: to making relationships, to making community. Six months is it, 378 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: And so I genuinely feel like I'm strapping myself in 379 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 1: for this, Like marathon, I'm strapping myself in for the 380 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,359 Speaker 1: next six months, and I'm just like, let's go, let's 381 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:11,240 Speaker 1: work really hard at making this feel like home. The 382 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,600 Speaker 1: biggest things I'm going to be doing is I'm joining 383 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 1: a book club, I'm volunteering, I'm joining a boxing group, 384 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:22,640 Speaker 1: and I'm joining a run club. Ready made groups, Communities 385 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 1: like that that I can fit into and hopefully offer 386 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,199 Speaker 1: some services to or offer like and really just like 387 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 1: be a part of have always been my go to. 388 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: When I moved to Sydney, I joined a life drawing class, 389 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 1: I joined a climbing gym. I then like later on, 390 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 1: I joined a pottery studio. Kind of fallen out of 391 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,960 Speaker 1: love with those hobbies, but I'm like, great, it's time 392 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: for the next round. And I made some wonderful, amazing 393 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,119 Speaker 1: friends that way. The other thing I'm committing to doing 394 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: is same grocery stores, same coffee shops, same gym, same 395 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 1: route to work, I same restaurants, Like I want to 396 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: meet the people in my neighborhood, That is genuinely how 397 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 1: I made three of my best friends when I moved 398 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: to Sydney. I met them through consistently interacting with my 399 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,320 Speaker 1: environment and with like literally like the institutions of my 400 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 1: community in a really consistent way. Because I was like, 401 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,199 Speaker 1: if I have this routine and somebody else has this 402 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,040 Speaker 1: routine and it's similar, A, We're going to see each 403 00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,800 Speaker 1: other a lot. B We're probably going to be quite 404 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,720 Speaker 1: similar people. So that is something I always give people 405 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 1: advice to do, is like, yes, explore your new city, 406 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,200 Speaker 1: but like say hi to people in your local spaces 407 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:41,280 Speaker 1: and show up to things at the same time across 408 00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:45,120 Speaker 1: your week. You will meet like minded people. The other 409 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,840 Speaker 1: thing I've asked my friends back in Australia and my 410 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:52,440 Speaker 1: friends already living here to do is to platonically set 411 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: me up with people. I'm committed to the mutual friend route. 412 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 1: If my friend like somebody, I would say ninety nine 413 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,840 Speaker 1: percent of the time, I'm gonna like them as well. 414 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:08,360 Speaker 1: One of my soul sisters, Gracie, this is how we met. 415 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 1: I'm using like try like things that I previously have 416 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 1: evidence for. I was in Sydney, I was really lonely, 417 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:16,959 Speaker 1: and I remember calling my dad up and being like, 418 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 1: I just really want a friend, and he was like, 419 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: ask your friends if they know anybody asked to be 420 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 1: set up, and we went on like a blind friendship 421 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: date together and it was like love at first sight. 422 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: So I've already got a few of those things planned, 423 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: and I'm also gonna do some community events with the 424 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,800 Speaker 1: Psychology of your twenties, because I don't know if you 425 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:40,439 Speaker 1: guys know this, London is the biggest city of listeners. 426 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:41,959 Speaker 1: I've already met some of you here. I think I've 427 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: already met like five or six of you. Shout out 428 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:48,280 Speaker 1: to the girls at UCL who I ran into when 429 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: i'd had a few wines the other night coming home 430 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:56,040 Speaker 1: in Camden, thank you for saying I and I just 431 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,679 Speaker 1: feel like you guys are so cool and I'm totally 432 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,119 Speaker 1: down for like being friends with listeners, particularly because I 433 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,320 Speaker 1: feel like you guys and me would have so much 434 00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaker 1: in common and I think you guys are really cool 435 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,399 Speaker 1: and every time I meet you, I want to be 436 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: your friends anyways, So I'm going to lean in heavily 437 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: to that, and I'm also going to join a co 438 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,200 Speaker 1: working space. I think something that has made the last 439 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:28,600 Speaker 1: few months in Sydney. Particularly hard for me was because 440 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: I knew I was leaving. I just like spent a 441 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 1: lot of time at home and I I wasn't going 442 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 1: to my co working space, I wasn't finding a new 443 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,840 Speaker 1: coworking space. I wasn't really putting anything new in place 444 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,880 Speaker 1: to make community and to get out of my house 445 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 1: because I was like, there's not really a point. I'm 446 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,719 Speaker 1: gonna be gone soon. And the thing is is that 447 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,600 Speaker 1: it's like a terrible attitude to have, and it meant 448 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,159 Speaker 1: that I just spent a lot of time in my 449 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: little second bedroom office dungeon and then was wondering why 450 00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: I felt so terrible. I'm not doing that again this time. 451 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,919 Speaker 1: I have booked my membership, I've booked my coworking space. 452 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:10,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the most jolly person at that we 453 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: work and I'm gonna make everybody be friends with me. 454 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna get out of my house and I'm 455 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:19,560 Speaker 1: gonna be productive outside of my home. Another question somebody asked, 456 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 1: is any advice I want to make a similar move 457 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 1: from Australia to the UK. Okay, biggest piece of advice 458 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: is the visa is gonna cost you a lot more 459 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,719 Speaker 1: than you think, specifically because you have to pay the 460 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,760 Speaker 1: healthcare levee. So just take that into account and make 461 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,160 Speaker 1: sure that you were prepared for that. Don't buy the service. 462 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,520 Speaker 1: This is so oddly specific. Do not buy the service 463 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,040 Speaker 1: that says they will scan your documents for you, because 464 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 1: it is a lie. Sorry, I'm so angry about this, 465 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,159 Speaker 1: but when I got my visa, they had like this 466 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,360 Speaker 1: optional service. It was like fifty dollars and they'd scan 467 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: your documents and I did it, and guess what, they 468 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:00,960 Speaker 1: don't scan them. You have to scan them yourself. You 469 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: have to send them to them and then they'll send 470 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 1: them through for you. So don't listen to their lives. 471 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,719 Speaker 1: They don't actually scan them. Sorry, don't do that. Have 472 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,600 Speaker 1: at least I would say two months to three months 473 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:17,159 Speaker 1: of savings, maybe even more. It's kind of similar to 474 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 1: when you quit your job, right because I'm assuming most 475 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 1: of you will have to quit your job to move here. 476 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 1: But even if you don't like it's an expensive place 477 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: to live, I've already noticed that. Something I took for 478 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,600 Speaker 1: granted is that we have GST included in Australia. They 479 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 1: do not, so you'll pay for your food and then 480 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,600 Speaker 1: it'll be like, wait, what the heck twenty percent more 481 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 1: on top of the bill because we don't have that right, Like, 482 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:43,200 Speaker 1: even if we do, it's quite minimal. It's an expensive city. 483 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:47,480 Speaker 1: Rent is really expensive. Save as much as you can also, 484 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,840 Speaker 1: so that when you get here you can kind of 485 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 1: enjoy yourself and you don't feel like you're scrambling, you 486 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,960 Speaker 1: don't feel like you're very stressed. That's something that we've 487 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:59,119 Speaker 1: had in the first few days, not with jobs, but 488 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:02,960 Speaker 1: with housing and other things that are going on. That 489 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 1: just meant that it's beautiful time in London's Christmas markets, 490 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 1: and it's been kind of hard to enjoy it because 491 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: it's been like we have to go home and do 492 00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,280 Speaker 1: all these things. So if you can make money less 493 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,959 Speaker 1: of a stressor, I would say do it. Also, don't 494 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 1: bring all of your bags on the plane we took. 495 00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 1: We've done two like big suitcases and one let little 496 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,159 Speaker 1: mini carry on suitcase and like a backpack each. We 497 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 1: had friends like ship their stuff over on a boat. 498 00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: It cost a lot of money to get an extra suitcase, 499 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: especially since mine was overweight it was like forty kilos. 500 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 1: But when they shipped it on the boat, and then 501 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:38,919 Speaker 1: they went and picked it up. I think it was 502 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,880 Speaker 1: like so much cheaper. So that's an option. Don't bother 503 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: bringing furniture, Bring as little as possible. Clear out your wardrobe. 504 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,480 Speaker 1: I brought too many clothes I've gotten here. I'm not 505 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: wearing them now. I have to get rid of them 506 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: when I'm already here and I paid to bring them over. 507 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:57,320 Speaker 1: Just really take like this minimal approach, Like one of 508 00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,840 Speaker 1: my neighbors said to me before we left, like, oh, 509 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 1: this is like one of the rare opportunities you have 510 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:06,240 Speaker 1: to travel quite light through life, like your your soul 511 00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 1: is kind of not as burdened by physical possessions. You 512 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,320 Speaker 1: can go anywhere, be anything, choose anything. And that felt 513 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,240 Speaker 1: really nice to me. So I'm really trying to embrace 514 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:18,119 Speaker 1: that and live quite minimally in this moment. And I 515 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 1: would recommend doing that as well also just because it 516 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 1: saves you money and frustration. But those would be my 517 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,439 Speaker 1: biggest tips, I think in maybe three months. I think 518 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: at the six month mark, actually I'm going to do 519 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,240 Speaker 1: another episode if you guys want it, of course, Like 520 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 1: I'm going to do another episode about my thoughts right now. Yes, 521 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: a lot of has happened in the first week that 522 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:43,199 Speaker 1: we've been here. I'm still incredibly optimistic about it. And 523 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:48,399 Speaker 1: maybe I'm like applying my like Sydney learnings to London 524 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,960 Speaker 1: when it is a different city and might be a 525 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: bit harder to get my foot in the door in 526 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,239 Speaker 1: terms of routines and the community and friendship. But I 527 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:03,000 Speaker 1: am really committed trying and for not making the same 528 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 1: mistakes that I've made previously when I've moved to new cities, 529 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: which is only relying on the friends I already have 530 00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:12,240 Speaker 1: there and being kind of isolated. So I'm going to 531 00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:14,679 Speaker 1: give you guys an update in six months, maybe like 532 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,320 Speaker 1: the next thing you'll hear about this, like I'm back 533 00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: in Australia and we just won't address it ever again. 534 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:21,159 Speaker 1: But I have a good feeling about it, just like 535 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,960 Speaker 1: I have a good feeling about twenty twenty six. So yeah, 536 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 1: let's see what happens. I'm really excited. I want to 537 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,920 Speaker 1: also thank you guys for, like you know, obviously listening 538 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:35,560 Speaker 1: to the podcast and allowing me to move here, and yeah, 539 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,480 Speaker 1: you made this happen for me, so I feel like 540 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,560 Speaker 1: it's my win. It's also a win for all of 541 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,440 Speaker 1: us and I really appreciate all the listens from this 542 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: year and all the support. I'm in a really grateful, 543 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:51,640 Speaker 1: sappy mood. I'm just very emotional at the moment, so yeah, 544 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,920 Speaker 1: I'm just projecting and just being like, I love you 545 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:56,720 Speaker 1: guys also much. But it's true and I'm very grateful. 546 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,080 Speaker 1: Especially with my book this year and with the tour 547 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: and mixup, I to do a lot more stuff in Europe. 548 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 1: So if you're an European listener, if you're a London listener, 549 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,640 Speaker 1: hopefully I'll get to meet you this year. Next year, 550 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,080 Speaker 1: hopefully I'll see you around. That sounds strange to say, 551 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:13,000 Speaker 1: but hopefully we get to be friends. That's something I'm 552 00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 1: really looking forward to. If you enjoyed this episode, maybe 553 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: leave leave a little British emoji in the comments down below, 554 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: especially if you've made it this far, if you are 555 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 1: have moved cities, move countries in your twenties, or if 556 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 1: you are a London listener, give me some tips. What 557 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,800 Speaker 1: should I know? What's something that you wish you knew 558 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,760 Speaker 1: when you moved here or moved anywhere. Also follow us 559 00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,959 Speaker 1: on Instagram at that Psychology Podcast or at gemmaspeg if 560 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,360 Speaker 1: you want to see some more personal updates with my 561 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 1: with my transition to London life, and until next time, 562 00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,080 Speaker 1: stay safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself. We will 563 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:48,080 Speaker 1: talk very very soon.