Speaker 1: Monkeys are thoughts. Monkeys are thoughts. I think objectively, monkeys
Speaker 1: are thoughts. Everybody can agree with that. This isn't this
Speaker 1: look you you played politics on a different episode. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Republicans, Democrats, We're not here to
Speaker 1: draw a line anymore. We can all agree monkeys are thoughts.
Speaker 1: That's clear. That's not even up for the bag. That's
Speaker 1: regardless of how you feel about age. Come on, look
Speaker 1: wherever it comes from, monkeys are thoughts. Racist, also mostly
Speaker 1: money stuff. I can't tell me. Yep, yep, yep, there
Speaker 1: it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome to
Speaker 1: another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast
Speaker 1: where we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black
Speaker 1: conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove that Morgan
Speaker 1: Freeman's hoop ear ring was made from some of the
Speaker 1: last remaining medals produced at the start of the Industrial Revolution.
Speaker 1: They don't make coop ear rings like that anymore, no sir.
Speaker 1: That type of metal is rare, and only a person
Speaker 1: as old and as odd as Morgan Freeman could even
Speaker 1: still possess it. That's the conspiracy theory. I'm spreading this week,
Speaker 1: i'm your host, you're you're now co host. I am
Speaker 1: a co host now because I am joined today by
Speaker 1: by my co host, a man who has been on
Speaker 1: the podcast before. So funny, so talented, but goddamnit that
Speaker 1: we added. We're adding this motherfucker and he's wearing purple,
Speaker 1: just like me. It was. It's serendipitous than a bit.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a great time. Give it up for
Speaker 1: for my co host, Mr David Boy. But I couldn't
Speaker 1: think what I wanted to come in with a good
Speaker 1: sound to like start off this partnership. I think it
Speaker 1: took yourself long to make the decision. Yeah, what the
Speaker 1: sound was gonna be. I was having a real because
Speaker 1: I didn't want it. First in my head, I was like,
Speaker 1: more fire that's not the right one. Now, that's not
Speaker 1: you're not a more fireman. And I know I wanted
Speaker 1: in my heart that's well, we gotta work on your
Speaker 1: sounds already. You're letting the listeners down with these sounds
Speaker 1: that you've been on what for eight seconds, and the
Speaker 1: sounds are failing hard. It's only up here from here though,
Speaker 1: that's you know what I mean. We just started the
Speaker 1: bottom and that's how I do it. Im. This is
Speaker 1: we've been we've been planning this for a little while now.
Speaker 1: This is very exciting. I'm glad you're joining joining the pot. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. I love doing minimal
Speaker 1: research and having maximum opinions. Yeah, I really, I'm really
Speaker 1: going to be looking to you for color commentary on
Speaker 1: on a lot of things that probably don't require color.
Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, that's what that's that's really where I get.
Speaker 1: That's where I shine. Don't worry about the noises. My
Speaker 1: commentary is the noises. I'll take care of the noises
Speaker 1: and now on I'll be the noise man. You'll be
Speaker 1: color comments. I'm not going to try perfect well, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want us to dilly or daly. Because the
Speaker 1: conspiracy theory you and I decided was worth digging into
Speaker 1: this week, and it's it's one that I feel like
Speaker 1: I have I have circled a few times, but never
Speaker 1: fully tapped into. But we said, my mama told me,
Speaker 1: HfV came from human who has sex with a monkey. Man.
Speaker 1: Tell me everything you know about about this subject. I mean,
Speaker 1: this one, this one is personal because I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: it I'm you know as hell and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: early nineties there's a lot of a lot of African
Speaker 1: slander going around by way of terms like booty scratcher
Speaker 1: and things like that, and then this ship came up,
Speaker 1: and you had to It came up so often people like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're from Africa. I heard they fuck monkeys over there. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like we're just like it's a free for all. You're
Speaker 1: just you guys are just running around snatching up monkeys
Speaker 1: out of trees and fun. Because also, if we were
Speaker 1: sucking all the animals, you don't think so cooler ship
Speaker 1: would have came out than AIDS. And that's not I
Speaker 1: don't we didn't do that, But I'm saying like, like
Speaker 1: there were other cool things would happen besides a A right,
Speaker 1: I mean objectively what we're talking about AIDS. There was
Speaker 1: also Studio fifty four with that era of sex and sexuality, right, so,
Speaker 1: and who are they to be monkey Studio fifty four
Speaker 1: If y'all are sucking the ship out of them and
Speaker 1: to that extreme, there would just be a lot of
Speaker 1: other crazy cool ship going on. Some kind of hybrid
Speaker 1: tiger babies we would have had. Are there tigers and
Speaker 1: I don't think that's correct. Some kind of crazy panther
Speaker 1: people race like, OK, you got it, like a lot
Speaker 1: of other things besides just aids, right, They're they're only
Speaker 1: picking at I love that this is the defense you have.
Speaker 1: You guys are only picking at the bad stuff that
Speaker 1: came out of sucking those monkeys. I'm not saying we
Speaker 1: fucked monkeys. I'm saying if we were sucking monkeys, then
Speaker 1: then then we were sucking everything and there would be
Speaker 1: a host of aids like I like virs, well, that's
Speaker 1: I like. I like this and because I don't think
Speaker 1: I had ever considered the possibility. And maybe this is
Speaker 1: my own, my own prejudgment, right, If I'm being honest
Speaker 1: with you, I'm a former version of myself was calling
Speaker 1: Nigga's African booty scratchers and it was huge. I I
Speaker 1: brame John Singleton. Oh yeah, he played his part. That
Speaker 1: was a major blow to the African community. That was huge.
Speaker 1: That was huge that. I love the idea of some
Speaker 1: sort of like Council of African Nations coming together and
Speaker 1: being furious at John Singleton for for making you all
Speaker 1: the punchline in in his movies. One scene ruined most
Speaker 1: of my elementary school. Jesus Christ, this is a big deal.
Speaker 1: But to that point, I it had never even occurred
Speaker 1: to me that monkeys would be the stopping or not
Speaker 1: be the stopping point. Rather that like for me, it
Speaker 1: was like, oh you I've heard y'all fuck monkeys and
Speaker 1: stop in stop. I never advanced it beyond that. But
Speaker 1: to your point, if you're sucking a monkey, you probably
Speaker 1: could sucking more sleek, sexy animal too, far more majestic
Speaker 1: beings on the African plains. Have you seen monkeys the
Speaker 1: crass yead? No, they're they're not classy animals, no vulgar,
Speaker 1: i'd say, to be honest. But you've seen like a giraffe, Yeah,
Speaker 1: what I mean, there's like there's just like a lot.
Speaker 1: You've seen a gazelle like, but monkeys, that's the ones.
Speaker 1: One of the things that I remember from going on
Speaker 1: to the Fari, I went like whatever it was three
Speaker 1: years ago, and one of the things I remember is
Speaker 1: as we were driving, we saw a giraffe who was
Speaker 1: like drinking water. And one of the things they do,
Speaker 1: they'll like dip their head and down to whatever they're
Speaker 1: they're drinking and then they'll like lift their necks up
Speaker 1: and pray the water over themselves, almost like a sexy fountain.
Speaker 1: It's like, how could you watch a giraffe do that
Speaker 1: and not be like, I funk the ship out that giraffe.
Speaker 1: I'm yeah, they got that big old black tongue. I
Speaker 1: didn't put a color on it. I don't know what
Speaker 1: the color does, but I do know that to be
Speaker 1: a detail. I just yeah, there's there's just there's there's
Speaker 1: far as I've never seen a giraffe in the wild
Speaker 1: because I've only been to the cities in Africa, but yeah,
Speaker 1: there was just I just feel like if that was
Speaker 1: the case, there's so much better animals to now. I
Speaker 1: do remember that part of the reason and the claim
Speaker 1: at least that people were sucking monkeys is because and
Speaker 1: part of the reason that HIV was a product of
Speaker 1: us fucking monkeys was because that monkeys are so close
Speaker 1: to human beings that the genetic closeness is part of
Speaker 1: the reasoning for the birth of the disease in the
Speaker 1: first place, which in retrospect sort of doesn't quite make sense.
Speaker 1: I would imagine that like we'd get diseases from anything
Speaker 1: we put our dick in and the genetics isn't the
Speaker 1: part that makes it disease worthy? Well you know what? Okay,
Speaker 1: So I did very minimal research, of course, is what
Speaker 1: I found out is that there is because so there's
Speaker 1: there's there's three kinds of it. There's HIV, which is
Speaker 1: just human immuno deficiency virus, right, but then there's also
Speaker 1: very similar s i V simon immuno deficiency virus. Right,
Speaker 1: that's the monkeys, that's monkeys, but then there's also fi V.
Speaker 1: So how come all these old dusty white diaches with cats.
Speaker 1: Nobody's worried about what that was? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: See hold on, that's how they get you, because that's
Speaker 1: that's the scam that was run on you and other
Speaker 1: African children throughout your upbringing. Because I'm seeing it now
Speaker 1: because there's there's very clearly this other form of immuno
Speaker 1: deficiency virus sitting there that no one's ever accused anyone.
Speaker 1: And white people love cats. They love their mouths, yeah,
Speaker 1: and their cat their tongues ain't even nice. They got
Speaker 1: them paper tones, they got growth, and they let them
Speaker 1: poop in their houses. That's that's also fat that's fact.
Speaker 1: He draw the party lines where you will, it won't
Speaker 1: be about cats pooping in white people's houses. Listen here,
Speaker 1: here's what I love. Freedom, all right, that's what I
Speaker 1: worry about. Party locks. But to that point, no one's
Speaker 1: ever accused anyone of fucking their cat, and that being
Speaker 1: the potential birth of AIDS up. So so ultimately, somebody
Speaker 1: is taking advantage of the propaganda machine to make this
Speaker 1: a African problem, when in fact it could very well
Speaker 1: be a Scandinavian problem, you know what I mean, It
Speaker 1: could be one of whatever, one of these white places
Speaker 1: where cats roam freely and do catship. And I think
Speaker 1: that there's a lot of kinds of cats, right, bobcats
Speaker 1: links that's a snow cat, right, snow leopard. I'm pretty
Speaker 1: sure that's one of them. I'm eating up. I'm eating up.
Speaker 1: I'm eating up. Give me some runway. I'm just saying, like,
Speaker 1: why does it? Why was it Africa? Why why did
Speaker 1: you have to have come from Africa? I do think,
Speaker 1: I mean, and it's you're really getting on a train here,
Speaker 1: because I do think ultimately it points to the gross
Speaker 1: correlation that happened with AIDS and HIV and black people.
Speaker 1: The very I would argue intentional correlation that happened there,
Speaker 1: which I'd be remiss if I didn't admit that, like
Speaker 1: our population suffered greatly from you know, HIV and all
Speaker 1: the other ship. But it isn't because we invented the motherfucker.
Speaker 1: It's simply because of from all the stuff, from all
Speaker 1: the stuff. We also got COVID. Nobody was like it's
Speaker 1: a black thing. No. In fact, if I remember correctly,
Speaker 1: we were real proud not to have had it for
Speaker 1: a little while. And I definitely tweeted about that. I
Speaker 1: definitely tweeted that a bunch of times, like just some
Speaker 1: kind of like third world immunity. Take that ship back
Speaker 1: to England. It was early pandemic. I've since cut my
Speaker 1: Twitter off, I understand. Sure. I hope that was the
Speaker 1: sole reason you had to cancel your Twitter missing. I
Speaker 1: went too hard on black people not be able to
Speaker 1: get COVID. I gotta I gotta just shut this ship down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I really, because I had to stand by during the
Speaker 1: whole of Bola things. So I was like, we got
Speaker 1: one and then it was a misstep on look, we
Speaker 1: all we all were here for the first like three
Speaker 1: weeks where no black people were confirmed to have had COVID,
Speaker 1: and we truly thought that this was God coming back
Speaker 1: to the earth to finally make white people reap what
Speaker 1: they said. We all remember this, What a big month
Speaker 1: that was. We're not going to work and we're not
Speaker 1: getting sick. Uh. Dog I was. I was having a
Speaker 1: goddamn field day and then that one, that first black
Speaker 1: person showed up sick and it was like, God damn it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that guy's gonna go down in history because that was
Speaker 1: a big letdown. It it hurt a lot of people.
Speaker 1: That was a big letdown. I would say him, that person,
Speaker 1: and I assume it's a man. I just have to
Speaker 1: assume that that a man was the first one to
Speaker 1: get sick from a black man was the first one
Speaker 1: of black people to get sick from COVID. I I
Speaker 1: have to assume that, Yeah, it's just I have to
Speaker 1: assume that he's uh, that he survived it and just
Speaker 1: has to live with this feeling for forever. I think, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, I was like, I was all
Speaker 1: into I was like, I followed dr Umar on Twitter.
Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, it's happening. You're not a foolish man.
Speaker 1: This is like real, Yeah, I'm investing in your schools. Yeah,
Speaker 1: somebody call. Let me get that doctor Sebby book, like
Speaker 1: it could all happen. Maybe you did gear cancer. I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, We're not going to get the sickness
Speaker 1: that you know what elsie. Dr Sebby said that he
Speaker 1: was carrying was was HIV. Thought he could he could
Speaker 1: help around with HIV by drinking mineral water. All I'm
Speaker 1: saying is I've had a lot of mineral waters. I've
Speaker 1: never had HIV. Hey, And that's pretty fucking cool if
Speaker 1: you asked me, that's fucking huge, if you asked me.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the correlation is perfect, but it
Speaker 1: makes sense on my end. That's all that matters. All Right,
Speaker 1: We're gonna take a break. We'll be back with more
Speaker 1: David Bory more, my mama told me. And we are back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're back here with more David Bory, our new co host.
Speaker 1: And my mama told me. We're still talking about the
Speaker 1: possibility that AIDS HIV was born from a human, a
Speaker 1: man fucking a female monkey. Had you read or had
Speaker 1: you heard and this this will help guide us into
Speaker 1: this research. I think pretty seamlessly had you heard specifically
Speaker 1: that it was a man who sucked a monkey. Was
Speaker 1: there any any part of you that considered it could
Speaker 1: have been a lady who took advantage of a nice
Speaker 1: monkey man. I've never thought that a woman had sex
Speaker 1: with ann any animal ever, not willingly. No, Oh fuck,
Speaker 1: all right, I just know it's never It's just my brain,
Speaker 1: you know what's crazy? And now this says a lot
Speaker 1: about me. I don't know what this says, but when
Speaker 1: you say this, in my head, I always assumed that
Speaker 1: it was a dude having sex with a boy monkey.
Speaker 1: I don't know why, and I don't know whoa. I
Speaker 1: don't know what to make of that. Whoa? You know what?
Speaker 1: You know what that feels like? And I don't mean
Speaker 1: this in a judgmental way, but it does feel honest?
Speaker 1: Is that that almost feels like it's cooked in with
Speaker 1: a type of of almost cross pollination of both the
Speaker 1: hatred that they put onto you and then the like
Speaker 1: the homophobia that was circulating alongside HIV very African hyeah.
Speaker 1: I know, I don't know to homophobia? Did you not?
Speaker 1: We were we were pretty early early adopted. No, I know.
Speaker 1: Now it's so crazy because I've never even said that, like,
Speaker 1: I never realized that that was the case, But when
Speaker 1: I say it out loud, I don't know why. I
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know that it it much matters,
Speaker 1: right like if you always assume it was a dude,
Speaker 1: a man having sex with a female monkey. I don't
Speaker 1: know that I ever thought about the gender of the monkey.
Speaker 1: I think I always in the same way that you
Speaker 1: look at somebody's like dog, and you're not like always
Speaker 1: thinking like that's a girl dog. You're just like, hey,
Speaker 1: look at that dog. Dog. It's sort of like it
Speaker 1: was just a monkey being a monkey, And uh, it wasn't,
Speaker 1: if I'm being honest. It wasn't until I was researching
Speaker 1: this ship that they were very specific about being a
Speaker 1: female monkey that I started to feel like, okay that
Speaker 1: I guess it's a heteronormative relationship happening between these animals.
Speaker 1: I guess. Though. Also, if you're if you were on
Speaker 1: the cross species lines, head roll home. We're already, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm saying, we're already over here. I'm just trying to
Speaker 1: suck a monkey. Yeah, I'm whatever, man, I'm already. You're
Speaker 1: not supposed to be over here anyways. I don't think
Speaker 1: that anybody's gonna be like, oh, but it was a
Speaker 1: girl monkey, so he can still you know, nobody's like
Speaker 1: seduced the monkey. And it it was like, what the fund
Speaker 1: get off me? I didn't know you was a boy.
Speaker 1: That's gay. I know that's gay as fuck. Dog. I
Speaker 1: thought you was a girl monkey. I can't tell the
Speaker 1: difference between boys and girls monkey, not visually. No, and
Speaker 1: uh in in the reading that I did, apparently monkey penises, specifically,
Speaker 1: like guerrilla and chimpanzee penises don't often exceed like an
Speaker 1: inch to an inch and a half, so you know,
Speaker 1: it's more like a button than it is. Ah, that's
Speaker 1: funny because that changes a lot of my sexton game
Speaker 1: and be just a lot of Really gorillas have small penises, Yeah,
Speaker 1: gorillas are not. Uh in terms of the ratio to
Speaker 1: their body, gorillas have a very small penis. Did you
Speaker 1: know that before this? You know why I knew that
Speaker 1: is because I'm always looking at them gorilla dicks, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? I knew that because Bruno Mars
Speaker 1: had that song where he talked about fucking like a gorilla,
Speaker 1: and uh, it was on his second album not a
Speaker 1: particularly well were received album, which is why he leaned
Speaker 1: in so hard on making seventies and eighties music. Instead,
Speaker 1: he had a second album. You think he just skipped
Speaker 1: to do the first thing. Yeah, I don't know what
Speaker 1: the middle was. So Bruno Mars has that uh, that
Speaker 1: gorilla fucking song and his ship and then Jenny's a
Speaker 1: Greeno a friend who I think you. You know, Jenny
Speaker 1: has had a joke years ago about the absurdity of
Speaker 1: Bruno Mars fucking like a gorilla given the small penis
Speaker 1: of a gorilla. Okay, first of all, sounds like that
Speaker 1: joke is very funny. Sounds like that album is pretty bad.
Speaker 1: I'd say this if you funk with Bruno, it's a
Speaker 1: it's a Bruno album. Ain't no complaints on my ends.
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't give a ship when anybody says
Speaker 1: I like that young man. So I'm cool with it. Now.
Speaker 1: When people go, hey, this is when he was making
Speaker 1: as music, I don't argue with them. I'm not defending
Speaker 1: the work. It's that's just my boy. I know. I listen,
Speaker 1: I bought the second Criss Cross album, so I'm not
Speaker 1: here to talk to you crazy. You mean, when they
Speaker 1: were like old and yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh fuck,
Speaker 1: you were really invested. I was a big fan. Yeah,
Speaker 1: God damn, how did that work out? A the one died,
Speaker 1: so you know, there wasn't a third album. They didn't
Speaker 1: have started to Mega third. I think he was sick.
Speaker 1: It wasn't even like A. It wasn't like I think
Speaker 1: he was sick. And yeah, and it was not a
Speaker 1: rap issue at all. They weren't in the streets. He
Speaker 1: truly died of some sort of like health. You know,
Speaker 1: I paying attention to fuck All right, Well, now we
Speaker 1: gotta transfer into another euno deficiency conversation. So to your
Speaker 1: original point, which I think is a very valid one,
Speaker 1: there are other types of immuno deficiency viruses. The Simian
Speaker 1: immuno deficiency virus is, in fact the one that we
Speaker 1: believe eve that scientists believe the human of meno deficiency
Speaker 1: virus was derived from. They pretty much completely discount feline
Speaker 1: in meno deficiency virus. And part of the reason they
Speaker 1: do that is they claim, and you ain't got a
Speaker 1: dress the White Man if you don't want to, but
Speaker 1: they claim that there's no ability to transfer cat aids
Speaker 1: to human beings convenient like I don't. I don't understand
Speaker 1: the proof. I mean, like I hear what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I'm just it feels like I don't know why that
Speaker 1: would be the case, right, Why is this this special
Speaker 1: aide so different than all the other right now? I
Speaker 1: feel you? And also cats not I hate that. I
Speaker 1: know so much about animal penises, but cats have those
Speaker 1: uh those no duck dix, so duck dick. Sorry, yeah,
Speaker 1: and the duck vagina is in a weird like curled
Speaker 1: kirk screw thing too, so it's like basically like following
Speaker 1: a maze up in there, whereas cat penises are like pronged,
Speaker 1: so they like, uh they basically are are built in
Speaker 1: a way that once they go in, they like kind
Speaker 1: of snap in the place and and lock the cat
Speaker 1: into so they can't run away and ship. Hold on,
Speaker 1: that's how they get you for real, You're going to jail,
Speaker 1: my man. But uh So to the the bigger question
Speaker 1: of it potentially coming from monkeys, And this is something
Speaker 1: that I didn't realize is that when we're saying monkeys,
Speaker 1: that in fact is correct. The Semion immuno deficiency virus
Speaker 1: is believed to have been derived from monkeys and not chimps,
Speaker 1: who I had long believed to be the culprit. Chimps
Speaker 1: are apes where oh you can't suck a chimp though,
Speaker 1: Yeah you know that's not who you thought who you
Speaker 1: thought of when they were fucking No. Chimpanzees will kill you.
Speaker 1: They are so strong, like there's not even like a situation.
Speaker 1: I think that you could finesse. Wow, this is a
Speaker 1: completely different interpretation than I had. I always had a
Speaker 1: chimp in my head the entire Oh, but I have
Speaker 1: a I have a believe it or not, I have
Speaker 1: a crazy chimpanzee story. Okay, I'm listening. I was, I'm excited.
Speaker 1: What a sentence. Yeah, no, this is this is wild
Speaker 1: and you can look it out. You can totally cross references.
Speaker 1: I was at a chimpanzee reserve and Sirele on rest
Speaker 1: of Africa, just like hanging out or whatever, and there
Speaker 1: was just one chimpanzee and he was so angry, like
Speaker 1: we were like because it's like it's like a preserve,
Speaker 1: so it's kind of like a zoo. So we're behind
Speaker 1: the fence looking at him and he's like taking these
Speaker 1: giant box and throwing up up at us, like big,
Speaker 1: huge rocks and we had to like duck undercover because
Speaker 1: he was like trying to hurt his really bad. His
Speaker 1: name was Bruno, and I remember it was like, man,
Speaker 1: that was fucking crazy, right, And that's really a weird
Speaker 1: that doesn't even because of the Mars thing. That's just
Speaker 1: that's just so his name was Bruno, and I was
Speaker 1: always like, yo, that's so crazy, and me and my
Speaker 1: mom would talk about it sometimes we're like, that is
Speaker 1: sucking nuts. Years later, I met my buddies house in
Speaker 1: Colorado and we're watching that show I Shouldn't Be Alive,
Speaker 1: you know that show, YEA, and they tell a story
Speaker 1: about these guys. Bruno got out and ripped off like
Speaker 1: three guys arms like a face, like killed a bunch
Speaker 1: of dudes. Fuck at that, the same thing, the whole
Speaker 1: the same ship. Fuck yeah. So that's so I've always
Speaker 1: known you couldn't suck at him since four probably it
Speaker 1: was it's like, oh boy, just in case y'all are like, yo,
Speaker 1: Bruno was canceled enough for in case this comedy tour
Speaker 1: comes to their city. I just don't want you, guys,
Speaker 1: when you cross cross reference, I want you to understand. Wait, so,
Speaker 1: so how the fund. Did they let Bruno out? How
Speaker 1: did he get out of it? I think he got out.
Speaker 1: I think he got I don't quite remember that episode
Speaker 1: very well because it was because when I watched it
Speaker 1: and I had to call my mom and was like, yo,
Speaker 1: but uh yeah, So I've always known you can't really
Speaker 1: fun with chimps like that. So here's here's why I
Speaker 1: always pictured the chimp. And I'm gonna follow this by
Speaker 1: asking you what monkey did you have in mind? But
Speaker 1: but I did. I thought it was a chimp, just
Speaker 1: because of how often they have been used for films
Speaker 1: for television. I've watched dust Dunston checks in too many
Speaker 1: times not to think that, Like, then, you can't train
Speaker 1: a monkey to to suck a dick, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like it's that movie was about, not what
Speaker 1: it was about, but there were some undertones pants on, No,
Speaker 1: he's a goddamn bell hop all of a sudden, it's
Speaker 1: it's got weird vibes. And I'll be honest, they taught
Speaker 1: him to do so many human things that it feels
Speaker 1: like it implies anything is possible if you put your
Speaker 1: mind to it. Hence they you fucked a chimp. And
Speaker 1: there were no other chimps around, so sexually he would
Speaker 1: get confused. Right, that's true. And now even as we're
Speaker 1: saying it, I'm starting to question if Dunston checks In
Speaker 1: was even a chimp. I actually think, if I'm being honest,
Speaker 1: Dunston checks In, and I'm looking it up right now,
Speaker 1: I believe Dunston checks In might have been an orangutang,
Speaker 1: which makes this entire argument invalid. Well, here's my thing
Speaker 1: that I've always put. Chimps and apes to me, are
Speaker 1: different than monkeys. I always think the monkeys is like
Speaker 1: little like with long tails and like because and freaks
Speaker 1: in cerrely on. There's like a ton of monkeys everywhere,
Speaker 1: but they're like little you know what they compact, right,
Speaker 1: That's what I always thought about. Like a monkey. I
Speaker 1: never thought that you could have sex with like a gorilla.
Speaker 1: They're so strong, they're so so strong. So were you
Speaker 1: thinking of like just like a somebody sucked a spider monkey,
Speaker 1: or well bigger than a spider monkey or right, but
Speaker 1: like like these monkeys, I don't like equating it in human.
Speaker 1: These monkeys are like the size of like a like
Speaker 1: a like a five year old. Okay, so it's not
Speaker 1: like it's like, you know, it's big enough to do,
Speaker 1: but it's not like, yeah, I never but like chimps
Speaker 1: and apes is like and orang of tangs, and like
Speaker 1: baboons is over here. I got that's too big for
Speaker 1: a human to be able to pull off what it.
Speaker 1: I got you, I don't think you could do it. Okay, Well,
Speaker 1: I think your logic is sound, because it turns out
Speaker 1: that chimps and the other apes actually acquired s i V.
Speaker 1: From monkeys, and again not from sucking them apparently, but
Speaker 1: from eating them occasionally. Apparently chimps will eat other will
Speaker 1: eat monkeys, and then the blood and the sort of
Speaker 1: like raw meat ultimately led to the transference of of
Speaker 1: this disease into their community. Okay, that makes sense to me.
Speaker 1: So now we're trying to figure out is how did
Speaker 1: it get from them to us? This and that's the
Speaker 1: big question, right Unless it got from the monkeys to us, well,
Speaker 1: that's that's also on the table. It could could potentially
Speaker 1: come from chimps, it could come from monkeys. But now
Speaker 1: we at least have more players on the field of
Speaker 1: potential infect doors in this situation, us being the infectees,
Speaker 1: although by all accounts. Whatever we're doing to these animals,
Speaker 1: we did we did something we didn't. Yeah, it's not
Speaker 1: like they we were just chilling and then suddenly that
Speaker 1: does these found us. We we did something that we
Speaker 1: got in there. Here's my other question. Aren't there chimpanzees
Speaker 1: and monkeys? They're not just in Africa? Right, There's some
Speaker 1: in Asia. Uh, there are absolutely types of monkeys that
Speaker 1: exist in Asia and parts of like, yes, they exist everywhere.
Speaker 1: I don't know that chimps and gorillas specifically. I I
Speaker 1: that I can't say for sure, but I do know
Speaker 1: there's types of apes and monkeys all over the world
Speaker 1: for sure. Okay, why did I think there were guerrillas
Speaker 1: in Japan? There are I don't think any guerrillas in Japan,
Speaker 1: but I could be wrong about there. There is a
Speaker 1: breed of monkeys that exists in Japan, and weirdly enough,
Speaker 1: they come up a little bit in this research. Because
Speaker 1: I to your your next question, I asked myself, is
Speaker 1: it possible for a person to have sex with a monkey?
Speaker 1: And there's this website, Cora. I don't know how much
Speaker 1: time you spend on Cora. Oh yeah, yeah, I've been on.
Speaker 1: It's not a good website. I was worried what you said,
Speaker 1: there's a website, and then you're asked, oh, that it's
Speaker 1: does a website. That's like, yep, this is how you
Speaker 1: do it. If you try to do up, it's not
Speaker 1: an easy thing to type into your Google search. No, no,
Speaker 1: they'll catch you immediately. Yeah, it feels like I'm going
Speaker 1: to get in a lot of trouble for having typed it.
Speaker 1: But I did type it, and Core basically it came
Speaker 1: back with a bunch of responses. Some of the folks
Speaker 1: who asked, because I'm reading someone else's question, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: dare bring it to Core. But they said there were
Speaker 1: some that were very outraged that this person for even asking,
Speaker 1: suggesting that he in fact was a monkey fucker. I
Speaker 1: don't like that. I don't like that. You gotta let
Speaker 1: people ask questions. That and I that was my feeling
Speaker 1: on it too, is like, come on, dog, this motherfucker's
Speaker 1: curious that on me. He's a bad guy. He's just
Speaker 1: trying to figure some sh it out. Yeah, if I
Speaker 1: enacted everything I Google searched, I would have made gumbo
Speaker 1: from scratch last week. And I, as some of you
Speaker 1: didn't did not so, so some people were outraged. Some
Speaker 1: people basically answered the question with a little bit too
Speaker 1: much sincerity that almost felt like they were in fact
Speaker 1: the monkey fuckers, you know what I mean, like they
Speaker 1: they were sort of like, well, not legally, but yeah,
Speaker 1: it's absolutely possible and if I were to do it,
Speaker 1: it would happen this way kind of thing. And then uh,
Speaker 1: the more interesting and this actually goes back to your
Speaker 1: original question. There was one person who was for real
Speaker 1: outraged at the idea that men are allowed to fuck
Speaker 1: monkeys and women have never once been equipped or enabled
Speaker 1: to fuck monkeys. Equipped, I mean equipped, I just think
Speaker 1: higher of women. It's an issue of perspects for you.
Speaker 1: I don't know that they and maybe again I don't
Speaker 1: know enough they. I don't know that they are equipped,
Speaker 1: right because at the end of the day, the monkey
Speaker 1: would have to be the insert or in this situation.
Speaker 1: I don't know that you can unless you're like, you know,
Speaker 1: strapping a monkey down and somehow keeping it erect for
Speaker 1: for the activation. I don't know how you pull that off.
Speaker 1: I mean, how do they and I'm sorry to be crashed,
Speaker 1: how do they do it? In Mexico? Fun monkeys? What
Speaker 1: do you mean you know what what what the donkey shows? Oh?
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't actually know. To be honest, it
Speaker 1: never came up in my research. That's fair. That's fair.
Speaker 1: That's fair. That's another thing. That's a whole other thing.
Speaker 1: But I love that you whispered it just in somebody
Speaker 1: was listening. I know it made me. It makes me
Speaker 1: areas were this whole. I wish this wasn't my first
Speaker 1: episode because we're already like out there, Yeah, we're crazy waters.
Speaker 1: I wanted us to take a big swing, and in
Speaker 1: some ways that was maybe too big a swing. Maybe
Speaker 1: we could have started as something a little more reasonable. No,
Speaker 1: we're in it now. We gotta get to the bottom
Speaker 1: of it. People are making choices. So so it has
Speaker 1: to be a man to female monkeys. What we're saying
Speaker 1: that that is the suggestion, And to the point that
Speaker 1: you brought up, it doesn't have to be a female monkey,
Speaker 1: but it certainly has to be a man with a
Speaker 1: desire to fuck a monkey. It seems to be able
Speaker 1: to pull this off with with any possibility of transferring disease.
Speaker 1: I would guess who's the woman you have sex with
Speaker 1: after you have sex with a monkey. Yeah, poor lady,
Speaker 1: that's crazy or guy whoever? The fucker whoever? It iss like,
Speaker 1: that's a tough that's a tough second. Have you been
Speaker 1: with anybody recently? Well, actually I briefly had a thing,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't count. We couldn't make it work. So
Speaker 1: one of the things that that then got me asking
Speaker 1: is this question of inner species sex in general, right
Speaker 1: and sort of like how often does this happen in
Speaker 1: According to research that I found, it's actually super rare.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, not a very popular thing. Although
Speaker 1: you point reality, yeah, that best reality and specifically bestiality
Speaker 1: not attached to entertainment. I think just just instinctual bestiality
Speaker 1: is like truly one of the most rare things on
Speaker 1: the planet. Apparent I get. I get that, I get
Speaker 1: because it is that's perverse, like that's that's really that
Speaker 1: makes sense to me. I'm not happy that. I'm happy
Speaker 1: that that's the case. So they did, however, in the
Speaker 1: reading that I did, point to an article about a
Speaker 1: Japanese McCall. That's that that's monkey. You are asking about
Speaker 1: their these red faced white monkeys that are native to Japan.
Speaker 1: It sounds crazy when you say that I know you're
Speaker 1: talking about an animal, fucking red faced white monkeys. That's all.
Speaker 1: They hired a red lobster. It's that inn the slurk territory,
Speaker 1: for sure. It feels so the These got damn red
Speaker 1: faced white monkeys apparently live next to something called a
Speaker 1: seek a deer. They all live on like these mountainous
Speaker 1: regions together and they have a pretty symbiotic relationship. The
Speaker 1: deer eat food that monkeys dropped from the trees. The
Speaker 1: monkeys clean the deer. They sometimes use them for riding,
Speaker 1: and they eat the bugs on their backs. It's sort
Speaker 1: of like, ah, they like hang out together and ship.
Speaker 1: But apparently years ago, not so many years ago, but
Speaker 1: enough that that time has passed. There was a video
Speaker 1: that went viral of one particular monkey who was said
Speaker 1: to her had been unable to find a mate and
Speaker 1: then subsequently decided to fuck a local deer instead. And
Speaker 1: there's actual video of this monkey. Whoa fucking this dear?
Speaker 1: I have one question, how do they know that that
Speaker 1: was the backstory? And that's a great question. They cannot
Speaker 1: confirm that, Like, how do they know? Couldn't get They're
Speaker 1: not following this monkey around for years and years watching
Speaker 1: them just get like turned down by bad bitch monkeys,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, And
Speaker 1: like we said, monkeys are thoughts, so that's even more
Speaker 1: like yeah, no, it's a it's a solid question. They
Speaker 1: do not have a solid answer for it. But one
Speaker 1: of the things that they did point to as some
Speaker 1: I guess, some attempt at reassurance is they said that
Speaker 1: the monkey never in technically inserted himself into the deer
Speaker 1: and was more just went humping the back. If that
Speaker 1: makes sense, Oh that doesn't count. That's then I've had
Speaker 1: sex with a dog, you know, like you know, you've
Speaker 1: been dry humped by a dog before. Oh thank god,
Speaker 1: thank that was because I could have gone the other
Speaker 1: way with you on a dog's back. No no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no no, I can't, I can, I can. I
Speaker 1: can find monkeys to have sex with. But yeah, they
Speaker 1: said the monkey was just humping the deer's back and
Speaker 1: came and then the deer licked the come off to
Speaker 1: clean itself. I don't know if that makes you change
Speaker 1: your mind on the results of this whole thing. I
Speaker 1: don't love no, no, it's not great. I don't love it.
Speaker 1: I somebody so Hey, somebody filmed this entire act. That's right,
Speaker 1: some sick oh, some Japanese weirdo. And also is that
Speaker 1: not and I don't once again not a doctor or here.
Speaker 1: That's that's not enough for it to transfer it. I
Speaker 1: don't believe. So I think that that whatever has to
Speaker 1: happen would have to be like, uh yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1: I mean there's certainly have to be able to enter
Speaker 1: the bloodstream in some kind of way. And that it
Speaker 1: wasn't like it was like in the spot. It was
Speaker 1: just sort of like on the back and then it'd
Speaker 1: be like it, you know, get in come on your skin.
Speaker 1: Is not necessarily going to guarantee you get AIDS. It's
Speaker 1: it would need to like enter you somehow. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is complicated. Now. The only other time that that any
Speaker 1: of the research I found pointed to of this kind
Speaker 1: of interaction involves male Antarctic fur seals coercing king penguins.
Speaker 1: It basically coerce these king penguins into sexual acts, and one,
Speaker 1: after busting his nut, ate the bird. Hold on, yep,
Speaker 1: take your time with this one. Oh so much, it's
Speaker 1: so much to attack. So the seals yea convinced the penguin.
Speaker 1: The seals were fucking the penguins, it sounds like it, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: and then the seal busted in the penguin. I'm not
Speaker 1: sure where the seal busted. There's not They weren't real
Speaker 1: specific on this. This isn't porn hub. This is more
Speaker 1: just it feels like it feels like you're people talking
Speaker 1: loosely about the subject and you said sex acts, so
Speaker 1: like maybe it was just hand stuff sometimes just like
Speaker 1: after the movies, you know, those penguins and they're fame
Speaker 1: his hand stuff, so the ate it. Yeah, So my
Speaker 1: guess is is that these seals were pinning the penguins
Speaker 1: down and just humping the sheet out of them. And
Speaker 1: then it sounds like some of them were reasonable and
Speaker 1: let them go, and then others were not and ate
Speaker 1: the ship out of them. Nature. It's very bad, and
Speaker 1: it's it's worth noting that this coercion, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: there was one time I meant to mention this before
Speaker 1: that the monkey, that same monkey apparently did try again
Speaker 1: with a second deer and was met with quite a
Speaker 1: bit of pushback, like that dear tried to kill the
Speaker 1: funk out of that monkey, whereas the person one did not.
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, I'm lost. So we do believe
Speaker 1: that who started the aide? Well, we haven't really gotten
Speaker 1: to that part. I'm just more exploring the possibility of
Speaker 1: sucking the animals in general, how it could have moved
Speaker 1: in and out. Yeah, but I love that You're like,
Speaker 1: this doesn't answer my question. How does steals fucking penguins
Speaker 1: get us the aids? And it's a fair it's a
Speaker 1: fair one. That's It's man, this is dark. It's so dark.
Speaker 1: None of it's none of it's seeming to be heading
Speaker 1: in a positive direction, but it is. It is interesting.
Speaker 1: I hope, I don't know. We're gonna take a break.
Speaker 1: We'll be back with more David Bori and more, my
Speaker 1: mama told me. And we are back. Who says I'm gay? Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're back here with more day more you more, my
Speaker 1: mama told me. We're still talking about the possibility of
Speaker 1: fucking animals and getting uh diseases from them, and none
Speaker 1: of it's making anybody feel good. But but we gotta
Speaker 1: finish the episode. You know, you got you gotta finish
Speaker 1: where what you start. You're right, You're right. My mama
Speaker 1: told me to finish what I started. Hell yeah, even this,
Speaker 1: do do you think she would she would tell finish this.
Speaker 1: She's advocating all kinds of slander on here. So to
Speaker 1: the biggest question you've been asking, the question if it
Speaker 1: ain't monkey fucking right, because they're they're suggesting everything I
Speaker 1: read it suggests exactly what you said, that even the
Speaker 1: act of fucking a monkey is probably the hardest part
Speaker 1: of this entire concept. That like the transference of s
Speaker 1: i V to a person, ultimately making it HIV is
Speaker 1: not an impossible thing through a sexual act, but the
Speaker 1: literal sexual act is damn near impossible for a person
Speaker 1: to pull off with a monkey or a chimp or
Speaker 1: a gorilla or any other of that that type of organisms.
Speaker 1: So that the big question is how did we fucking
Speaker 1: acquired this ship? Right? And one of the things that
Speaker 1: that they pointed to was that although AIDS is considered,
Speaker 1: HIV is considered this very eighties disease. And I didn't
Speaker 1: even know that we we had a patient zero. Had
Speaker 1: you heard about a patient zero for for HIV? Ever,
Speaker 1: there's a there's an HIV patient zero. I think some
Speaker 1: of it is rooted in a a was it Tom
Speaker 1: Hanks in Philadelphia. It's Tom Hanks in Philadelphia. That's right.
Speaker 1: That's why Denzel was so mad at him throughout the film.
Speaker 1: He was like, man, you gave everybody this ship you're starting.
Speaker 1: That's what I want to see Philadelphia to back in
Speaker 1: the habit. Wait, so he survives and he's just back
Speaker 1: out here given more people what I'm a cop now,
Speaker 1: haven't you seen my subsequent I really focused on cop
Speaker 1: more than a lawyer after this one. Yeah. So one
Speaker 1: of the things that I think they point to with
Speaker 1: this patient zero conversation is that it's really rooted in
Speaker 1: a type of homophobic lore. But there was an argument
Speaker 1: that this Canadian flight attendant of like the early eighties
Speaker 1: is considered patient zero because he was knowingly infecting up
Speaker 1: to two hundred and fifty dudes a year that he
Speaker 1: was like basically just giving everybody the business numbers on
Speaker 1: the board eighties. How did you even find them? This
Speaker 1: is pre grinder numbers. Yeah, No, he no texting, no email,
Speaker 1: He's just out in the world finding two d fifty
Speaker 1: dudes a year at the ball are Doug That's that's us.
Speaker 1: But he's but that is patient zero. That that is
Speaker 1: what they weren't long referred to as Patient zero, although
Speaker 1: I in my reading have been told that it is
Speaker 1: likely more born from a type of hatred for gay
Speaker 1: people and it is than it is like a certain
Speaker 1: that this dude was the Patient zero. Now the person
Speaker 1: himself does exist and it sounds like was doing this thing,
Speaker 1: but he's light work like not my man. But computer
Speaker 1: models have estimated that the first human infection of HIV
Speaker 1: actually occurred all the way back into in nineteen so
Speaker 1: he was very far from being any for any Patient zero.
Speaker 1: So it's sort of like we just didn't know what
Speaker 1: it was. We didn't know what it was, and it
Speaker 1: wasn't until nineteen fifty nine that we actually were able
Speaker 1: to identify the infection and it was found in the
Speaker 1: plasma in the blood of an adult male living in
Speaker 1: Belgian Congo. So damn it. I thought you were I
Speaker 1: was hoping you were going to stop at Belgium. No,
Speaker 1: but Belgian Congo, so he could have been living around
Speaker 1: white people in the Congo. Have you seen the Congolese
Speaker 1: people that he wasn't, but Belgium was taking it over.
Speaker 1: They were out there doing you know. I think there
Speaker 1: was like six dudes from Belgium there and fair enough
Speaker 1: that I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: They were just calling it Belgium Congo, but they it's
Speaker 1: like it's how it's American Samala. I have never seen
Speaker 1: American shore. It's more Samoans than Polynesian dudes. I got you.
Speaker 1: So the more important suggestion that sort of came out
Speaker 1: of this, because there's no one believes necessarily that this
Speaker 1: dude was out there fucking monkeys. What they do suggest, however,
Speaker 1: is that the disease he's likely spread through the consumption
Speaker 1: of monkey blood or raw monkey meat, not eating monkey ass,
Speaker 1: not raw monkey not raw monkey ass. They cook that,
Speaker 1: but maybe not not as well as they should. Add,
Speaker 1: I mean, people do eat monkey, but they cook it,
Speaker 1: so they think it started from somebody eating raw monkey meat. Yeah,
Speaker 1: or or like getting some monkey blood on them and
Speaker 1: then like exactly, or maybe you did cook it, but
Speaker 1: you didn't cook it properly and ultimately sort of exposed
Speaker 1: yourself to to a disease that you otherwise would not
Speaker 1: have had. That that makes more sense to me, and
Speaker 1: that that that seems reasonable. Yeah, it's it's it's not
Speaker 1: a reasonable as anything that's been said in the last
Speaker 1: There are also and this is this actually might be
Speaker 1: even more reasonable. There are also suggestions that HIV may
Speaker 1: have occurred. Uh and I'm gonna use this word, but
Speaker 1: I don't know it. I atro genetically for genetically when
Speaker 1: chimps were used in developing a polio vaccine for humans.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, So for those listening who don't know what
Speaker 1: that means, explained that. Not for you, not for for everybody.
Speaker 1: I know, I know. So I think what they're suggesting
Speaker 1: is that they were testing chimp genes for the development
Speaker 1: of a polio vaccine and ultimately may have been exposed
Speaker 1: that same test on human beings and created HIV. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that that seems to any if any of
Speaker 1: this to me, that seems like a possibility. It's that right,
Speaker 1: like Man's folly, Man's folly. I'll been on that every
Speaker 1: single time. Yeah, I mean, I think it it it's
Speaker 1: and I know that this is not the conversation that
Speaker 1: we're having around it anymore, but it isn't unrelated to
Speaker 1: the suggestion that COVID was sort of born from a
Speaker 1: mishap in somebody's lab or or you know, mixing of
Speaker 1: bloods and chemicals and ship and now suddenly we have
Speaker 1: this virus. Do I believe that it happened in China?
Speaker 1: That ain't my business, But do I do? I believe
Speaker 1: that human beings probably did a thing that they weren't
Speaker 1: supposed to do and that ultimately landed us in a
Speaker 1: spot where like a global pandemic happens absolutely at time. Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's that's I'm if. If I have to pick
Speaker 1: one idea from this whole thing, I'm picking either old
Speaker 1: white ladies and cats or Zipolio. So just to be clear,
Speaker 1: because because you were very anti white, white are not
Speaker 1: white women being the type of people that would fuck
Speaker 1: animals earlier? But you're saying, oh white women, you're making exceptions.
Speaker 1: They don't think they're I don't think they're sucking the cats.
Speaker 1: I think they're just the ship particles are wrong, got you?
Speaker 1: They got all kinds of blood and stuff, so yeah,
Speaker 1: they're touching those hairballs. I think these are fair arguments.
Speaker 1: I think I think you've brought up some legit potential
Speaker 1: things that some of these scientists, if nothing else, need
Speaker 1: to wrestle with. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely yeah, you
Speaker 1: can't keep skipping this over. You gotta you gotta face it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't worry about space. We got some problems down here,
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, solve things here and then you can
Speaker 1: go to space and buy Twitter or whatever the fuck
Speaker 1: you're planned to do. Well, David, we did it. I
Speaker 1: think this is I think this was a great inaugural
Speaker 1: episode for us. I think we've really nailed the whole thing.
Speaker 1: I think we really I think we really really got
Speaker 1: to the bottom of some hard hitting issues. Fuck yeah,
Speaker 1: when we're gonna do this every week? This is the plan.
Speaker 1: Do you want to tell the folks where where they
Speaker 1: can find you and what cool ship you have going on? Oh?
Speaker 1: You know my Instagram? My Instagram is cool guy jokes,
Speaker 1: Sadie seven. I I got rid of Twitter because I
Speaker 1: was like, I couldn't handle it. My Instagram it's on there.
Speaker 1: I do stand up comedy and stuff. Hell yeah, go
Speaker 1: go follow David on Instagram. Go go follow him on
Speaker 1: on Uh, I guess just Instagram, that's it. Look at
Speaker 1: his jokes wherever you can find those, and uh, you
Speaker 1: can always follow me at lens in Kerman and you
Speaker 1: can send us drops. You can send us conspiracy theories.
Speaker 1: You can send us your own bullshit at my Mama
Speaker 1: pod at gmail dot com. We would love to hear
Speaker 1: from you. Otherwise, that's it, by bitch. Uncle Wild Bears
Speaker 1: were racist. They also players for posting money versions of
Speaker 1: many turkey stuff I can't tell me about