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Speaker 1: Cele you fucking dirty psychopath bitch who I want to fuck.

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Speaker 2: You love me because I'm fucking crazy, don't you?

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Speaker 1: I literally do, because actually, like, I only get turned

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Speaker 1: on lately when something's really fucking crazy.

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Speaker 2: Dude, the second I first saw you, when we were

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Speaker 2: in the locker room after playing Sea Team basketball, and

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Speaker 2: I saw your massive fucking cock and your one huge

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Speaker 2: ball and your other weirdly kind of deformed ball because

9
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Speaker 2: you had some disease as a kid, but that's totally chill.

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Speaker 2: I was like, this dude is so fucking awesome. I'm

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Speaker 2: so jealous of his huge dick.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think my dad fucked my mom so hard

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Speaker 1: that my balls are deformed because he kept on fucking

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Speaker 1: her while she was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: Dude, pass me some more cheese toodles. I want to

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Speaker 2: jack off so hard my dick turns orange.

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Speaker 1: Dude, if you can suck on my dick for the

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Speaker 1: entirety of brave heart, I'll reward you by letting you

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Speaker 1: sleep in my bed with me. Ask to ask no

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Speaker 1: boxers on, Dude.

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Speaker 2: That's the gayest fucking shit I've ever heard in my life.

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Speaker 2: And yes, I will do it because I say yes

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Speaker 2: to every day. But first I'm going to splooge across

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Speaker 2: the room, like I promise.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, let me get my sister and bring her

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Speaker 1: in the room so she can watch us.

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Speaker 2: Dude, No, not, your sister. Have had a crush on

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Speaker 2: her since I was an infant, and by infant, I

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Speaker 2: meaning my mom's womb. Yeah, that's right. I was in

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Speaker 2: my mom's pussy once.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that so fucking crazy? Like? Do you ever just

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Speaker 1: think of that, my dude?

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Speaker 2: Like, dude, I think about it every day. You think

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Speaker 2: about it, dude, like your mom spent like twelve hours

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Speaker 2: of labor. Your dad's never been in and out of

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Speaker 2: your mom's pussy for that long. This is jack off.

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Speaker 3: Who's that knocking at the door.

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Speaker 2: It's all your friends, you filthy horse. Your husband's gone.

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Speaker 2: We've got books and a bottle of wine to kill.

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Speaker 1: It's Hollywood.

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Speaker 2: It's books, it's gossip. I'm shook. It's memoir, it's.

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Speaker 3: Martini, celebrity poof club.

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Speaker 1: Read it while it's hot, celebrity poof Club.

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Speaker 2: I'll tell your secrets. We won't talk celebrity books.

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Speaker 1: No boys are a loud cele book.

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Speaker 3: Say it loud and poud.

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Speaker 1: Celevety book Club, buzz me in, I brought the Queer Foe.

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Speaker 2: Hey, best friends, Hell are you?

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Speaker 3: I am doing magnifico?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what a week?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And to all our listeners out there, I know this

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Speaker 2: can be a really tough time of year. It's March,

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Speaker 2: I believe, No.

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Speaker 1: It's March. On everyone says it's spring and they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna pull out my leather jacket.

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Speaker 2: The its of March anyone, since it's the perfect weather,

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Speaker 2: but some say not yet.

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Speaker 1: Well, I actually think it's some of the most confusing

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Speaker 1: times to dress. And it's triggering as someone who is

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Speaker 1: add because I get really confused and I get really

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Speaker 1: excited about my T shirts. But then I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you can't just do T shirts. So that am I

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Speaker 1: doing T shirt in the winter jacket? Well that's kind

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Speaker 1: of weird. So it's actually about the art of layering.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the art of laying is coming into play in

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Speaker 2: a big way right now, I will say because of

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Speaker 2: the sort of like permanently unstainable warmth and like global

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Speaker 2: warming season's being over. I was a little bit relieved

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Speaker 2: that I actually didn't have to even wear a sweater

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Speaker 2: that I knew I could wear my new leather jacket,

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Speaker 2: which is my entire personality now with a button down

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Speaker 2: and be like I can keep this on all night

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Speaker 2: and not be hot.

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Speaker 1: What's so crazy is I've been watching you come into

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Speaker 1: the studio for the past two weeks, kind of like

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Speaker 1: forcing the lever jacket to.

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Speaker 3: Play before the season is ready for you.

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Speaker 1: But you're so excited, and I wasn't gonna dimpen right.

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Speaker 2: No, like punks the tunny feel found dead. I am

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Speaker 2: both a blazer. I dropped home.

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Speaker 1: You were being so like button down shirts, sweater, sweater,

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Speaker 1: leather jacket.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: When I put my leather jacket on today, I was like, wait,

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Speaker 1: but I can't just wear short sleeve. And then I

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Speaker 1: was putting on and I was like, literally, I'm going

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Speaker 1: to walk in and Steven's gonna be like, oh, you're

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Speaker 1: copying me because you're working your leather jacket, even though

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Speaker 1: I know in my heart.

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Speaker 3: Of hearts I got my leather jacket in August.

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Speaker 2: Can I ask you a personal question?

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Speaker 1: I would kill for you to ask me a personal question.

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Speaker 2: And I think I know the answer because I'm actually

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Speaker 2: remembering a jacket out. But you had a leather jacket

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Speaker 2: in high school. Right, it was the brown leather jacket.

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Speaker 1: You know, I actually had a leather record college. It

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Speaker 1: was college I had it. It was like the flight

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Speaker 1: pilot Air Force.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So here's what's actually my going to blow your

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Speaker 2: mind is that I think I had a leather jacket

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Speaker 2: before you, because I had a red leather jacket that

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Speaker 2: I got from Planet Thrift and Harvard Square or what's

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Speaker 2: it called. Is that called Planet Thrift, planet a planet

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Speaker 2: a planet e. And it was like very like Michael Jackson.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, now I remember your other It was kind of

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Speaker 1: like burgundy and like again I feel like, look like

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Speaker 1: was it layer Remaning.

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Speaker 2: No, it was le remanie vibes. It was very resilient aisles.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of the past in twenty fifteen.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of people who know each other from high school

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Speaker 2: US people who are also sort of eternally trapped in

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Speaker 2: high school. You know him.

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Speaker 1: You know him by his controversial ten years ago, wildly

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Speaker 1: popular meme account.

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Speaker 2: You know him from this wine he invented that was

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Speaker 2: called White Girl Rose and then they guess they changed

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Speaker 2: the name to Babe Rose to be like more inclusive.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think they were like maybe White Girl

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Speaker 1: Rose was like too much relying on this joke, and

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Speaker 1: people were like less to buy it than just like

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Speaker 1: Babe Rese.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I mean too much relying on the joke

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Speaker 2: is an interesting way to describe this person who basically

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Speaker 2: I think has fallen off the phase of the earth.

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Speaker 2: He has not been seen into at least two years.

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Speaker 2: But his arrow was definitely like early twenty ten's. He

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Speaker 2: was early into the viral game but then didn't necessarily

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Speaker 2: sustain virality.

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Speaker 1: You know him, You probably don't love him.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, of course we're telling me about none of than

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Speaker 2: the New York Icon, the Fat Jew.

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Speaker 3: And his book Money Pizza Respect.

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Speaker 2: It's so crazy. So I found this book at a

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Speaker 2: thrift store and I found it and the cover is

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Speaker 2: him pretending to be the Steve Jobs book cover. So

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Speaker 2: it's a black and white photo. Black shirt is staring

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Speaker 2: contemplatingimto the camera, and he has he has this sort

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Speaker 2: of trademark like shaved head and then ponytail that he's

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Speaker 2: like doing like as a joke, because whole life is like,

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Speaker 2: you know, in kind of a post Jacket's way, being

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Speaker 2: like everything I do as a joke. So he had

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Speaker 2: this kind of like monk like shaved type with ponytail

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Speaker 2: that sticks straight up.

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Speaker 1: Oh and by the way, the back of the book

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Speaker 1: is a nude drawing of him wearing slip on, so

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Speaker 1: it looks like maybe with a.

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Speaker 2: Dog covering his dick's smoking a cigarette.

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Speaker 1: So fucking dope, and again the hair.

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Speaker 2: And I found I found this book, and I you know,

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Speaker 2: and I tweeted a photo of it, and I said,

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Speaker 2: this feels like unearthing a dead sea scroll because it

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Speaker 2: really felt even though like this book is actually twenty fifteen,

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Speaker 2: which is maybe we said that word like, oh, it's

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Speaker 2: not that long ago. It actually it feels like another UNI.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, this is so pre Trumpian. It's

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Speaker 1: so preru, like so Obama era, when you could kind

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Speaker 1: of be like it doesn't matter because I go Obama's president,

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Speaker 1: so I can be like, uh, actually, this Asian dude

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Speaker 1: is shitting balls in my face with the training.

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Speaker 2: Hooker rain and it was so so it's kind.

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Speaker 3: Of like pre what we're calling the woke, pre.

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Speaker 2: The woke movement. It's pre woke, and it's because it's

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Speaker 2: not like this booke I would say, this book is

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Speaker 2: really not like anti woke. He's very like, yeah, libtart

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Speaker 2: of his day. But it's more like it's just there's

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Speaker 2: just it's like of like middle Adam Sandler.

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Speaker 3: It's the it's the men that.

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Speaker 2: Sail the Simburg Like, it's this whole generation of just

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Speaker 2: like kind of like Doofy goofy. Like I guess Jackass

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Speaker 2: was way more like actually, you know, badass and a

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Speaker 2: little more punk and like alcoholic and.

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Speaker 1: Came from just like fucking like shows. This is more

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Speaker 1: like the generation of like boys who grew up on

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Speaker 1: like hip hop.

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Speaker 2: It's Mommy's special boys. It's white guys as well.

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Speaker 1: Now yeah, and like Dominoes.

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Speaker 2: It's white guys who love Migos and Dominoes absolutely.

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Speaker 3: And like also white guys who like love hip hop

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Speaker 3: so much.

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Speaker 1: But still also like think kind of like hip hop

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Speaker 1: is the funniest thing, and.

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Speaker 2: It's like and it's Harold and Kumar and it's wee wee.

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Speaker 2: Because then but then sometimes I'm like, have we act?

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Speaker 2: I feel like maybe we actually have an evolved from that,

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Speaker 2: like reading, because there's one scene in this book, so

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Speaker 2: if you have the hard copy.

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Speaker 1: Of this book, and by the way, where did I

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Speaker 1: get this book? I took it out from a library

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Speaker 1: in the closest Hasidic neighbor or neighborhood closest to me,

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Speaker 1: the Borough Park Library.

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Speaker 2: Was there a lot of fata.

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Speaker 3: There was two women.

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Speaker 1: She was like, so, what did you go for lunch?

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Speaker 1: She was like, ok.

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Speaker 2: Work the library?

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Speaker 1: What was in it? The regular stuff? For other stuff?

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Speaker 1: And she and she was like you know this She

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Speaker 1: was like, honestly, I can't remember. She was like, but

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Speaker 1: there was other stuff. She's like, I just like the usual,

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Speaker 1: you know, the cheese, the chicken.

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Speaker 3: And I feel like she kept on like kind of

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Speaker 3: actually being.

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Speaker 1: So what does she eat? Like was pushing for, like

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Speaker 1: what else was in this mysterious like like.

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Speaker 2: Girl, tell me what's in this case? Idea? Are we

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Speaker 2: talking on you? She's like, it's really regular, Okay, okay, regular.

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Speaker 3: Saturday at the Baropark Library.

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Speaker 1: I get my regular case, ada, I sit, I go

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Speaker 1: back sorting.

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Speaker 2: But so there's this scene that's there's a comic book

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Speaker 2: where he's like, uh, yeah, what if the Fat Jew

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Speaker 2: went back and time traveled? In a magic text? He

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Speaker 2: can that Samuel L. Jackson is the driver of You're

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Speaker 2: literally it's like, what's the most like cringe thing you

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Speaker 2: could possibly imagine. And he's like, and I go back

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Speaker 2: in time and I stop terrible things from happening, Like,

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Speaker 2: uh yeah, I stopped the invention of Bono. It's so like, uh,

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Speaker 2: what's embarrassing? Uh you two?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Sorry? Oh the rock music that your weird old goal

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Speaker 1: is listening.

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Speaker 2: And so there's this list of all the things he's

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Speaker 2: trying to go back in time. So he like goes

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Speaker 2: to Ireland with Samuel L. Jackson and prevents Bono's parents

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Speaker 2: from having sex. And so there's this list of the

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Speaker 2: things that he's trying to stop white dudes with dreads,

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Speaker 2: the Bachelor, Zeema, unicycles, Bono, PT cruiser, monogamy, Texas.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of this like midpoint, which I guess is

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Speaker 1: twenty fifteen culture, where it's like he's still making fun

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Speaker 1: of PT cruisers.

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Speaker 2: But I feel like today.

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Speaker 1: He's also being so like, uh, I'm sorry Texas.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because I feel like, honestly, that list is besides

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Speaker 2: you two, who I do think is like universe beloved

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Speaker 2: because of like the sphere. Now, I feel like people

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Speaker 2: like that list is a little bit like still what

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Speaker 2: is generally accepted of people just being like, oh, this

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Speaker 2: stuff is so lame. I hate white guys with dreads

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Speaker 2: and I hate Texas and the Bachelor is totally like

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Speaker 2: is total trash TV actually, and like, yes, the Pta

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Speaker 2: cuiser became the key assault became like the Nissan leaf,

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Speaker 2: but like it's mean on in your circles.

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Speaker 1: No, I would, actually it's Texas whatever Nissan leaf you too,

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Speaker 1: But like now people don't really make fun of the

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Speaker 1: Bachelor anymore. I feel like there's now such an adoration

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Speaker 1: for reality TV because it's so like, uh actually, like

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Speaker 1: I'm a scientist of the Bachelor, and people are a

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Speaker 1: little more just like I'm addicted, and that is our culture.

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Speaker 2: It has, it has, it's more.

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Speaker 1: Rare are now for the person enough.

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Speaker 2: I think pieces that people all think like people think

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Speaker 2: reality TV is like a fascinating.

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Speaker 1: Amazing and fascinating study for culture. And he is definitely

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Speaker 1: so like, uh yeah, I made it. Met up with

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Speaker 1: a chick and all she wanted to talk about was

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Speaker 1: reality TV and I'm like a snooze, show me your boobies, okay,

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Speaker 1: but here okay.

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Speaker 2: And actually there's something right about this too, because I think.

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Speaker 1: Zeema is so nineties to make it's.

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Speaker 2: So nice to make fun of Zema, but I think

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Speaker 2: the Zema of today maybe is white Claw, and people

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Speaker 2: actually like but they're also ironically embracing the basicness of

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Speaker 2: white Claw, And I think, like, okay, I think the

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Speaker 2: differences is that he also helped Usher in an ironic

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Speaker 2: Embrace and Baskiss with White Girl Rose and like, which

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Speaker 2: now is Babe.

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Speaker 1: Rose, And I've had Babe Rose.

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Speaker 2: That's good.

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Speaker 1: I mean it was just like the most basic white

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Speaker 1: Girl Rose. It's just like kind of sweet, but it's

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Speaker 1: actually not like it's not too horrible off.

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Speaker 2: It's like a little metallic.

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Speaker 1: Like something like disgusting, and I would never buy it.

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Speaker 1: But in terms of like nasty roses, I feel like

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Speaker 1: I've had in probably twenty twelve.

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Speaker 2: Like way sweeter roses is that we're.

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Speaker 1: Just like, oh, like sweet and like.

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Speaker 2: Metal, yeah, super plastic buttery. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: God, the Rose craze.

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Speaker 2: The Rose craze, I guess died down. And maybe that's

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Speaker 2: also partially why his start is missing faded. So if

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Speaker 2: you guys will indulgence, I guess we can just kind

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Speaker 2: of hop into this book a little bit. So it's

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Speaker 2: it starts out and again there's kind of a meta

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Speaker 2: through line to the book where he continues to talk

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Speaker 2: about the fact that he got a book deal and

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Speaker 2: he's like trying to fill the pages.

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Speaker 1: And his whole like and I think there was a.

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Speaker 2: Lot of pressure on him also at the time because

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Speaker 2: it was like kind of sorry, kind of a metis

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Speaker 2: a meme artist Instagram, Well, it could not make a book.

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Speaker 2: And now it's almost the reverse where it's like if you,

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Speaker 2: if you are writer, you have to have an Instagram

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Speaker 2: in order to support you're writing career.

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Speaker 1: But at the beginning, he's like he gets a book deal,

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Speaker 1: and he's doing this thing of just like I'm just

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Speaker 1: such a fucking like dirt bag, like fuck up, like

299
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Speaker 1: nasty bitch, so like I don't believe in myself to

300
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Speaker 1: write a book. So he's always been like I had

301
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Speaker 1: the craziest night of my life.

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Speaker 2: And it's always just like, uh, yeah, me and my

303
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Speaker 2: three best friends did a ton of coke and weed

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Speaker 2: and shrooms.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then we went to another location. Which I

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Speaker 1: feel like we've said before in the spot, when people

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Speaker 1: talk about crazy nights, all it means is you're going.

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Speaker 2: To multiple locations. Okay, maybe two.

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Speaker 1: Two and.

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Speaker 3: Gotta give it to him though.

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Speaker 1: At the beginning of this book, he starts out and

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Speaker 1: he is at Julius.

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Speaker 2: A gay bat. She describes, He's like, it's a gay

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Speaker 2: bar for fucking gay guys who like sports and can

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Speaker 2: totally beat you up. And you're like, absolutely, that's not true.

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Speaker 1: It's like maybe it's it's like for older gay guys

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Speaker 1: who are like not watching sports. But yeah, like maybe

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Speaker 1: you're a little heavier.

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Speaker 2: I'm like a lot of like twenty nine year old faggots.

320
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Speaker 1: To finding twenty nine. And so he's like, yeah, we

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Speaker 1: fucking pound whiskeys. And then he like at some point

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Speaker 1: this is another common joke in his book making fun

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Speaker 1: of Dell's which I guess, like we still do.

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Speaker 2: We still do. This is why I'm saying we talk

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00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,000
Speaker 2: when he does his whole like he buys a gateway,

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Speaker 2: well first he goes okay, so and like this is

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Speaker 2: just really gets you in the place of where this

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Speaker 2: book lives. Side note, have you ever been to a

329
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Speaker 2: Pokemon rave. It's fucking insane. I had to get somewhere

330
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,080
Speaker 2: that would relieve me of the weight on my shoulders

331
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,680
Speaker 2: that was crushing my soul. The Pokemon rave was off

332
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Speaker 2: the grid. In Mathspath as in you cannot take the

333
00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,320
Speaker 2: subway to anywhere near there. It's basically thousands of Korean

334
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,640
Speaker 2: teens taking some form of ecstasy and listening to the

335
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:55,360
Speaker 2: most insane techno you can imagine, wearing full Pokemon costumes.

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Speaker 2: Like actually they take this shit super seriously, which is

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Speaker 2: so Asian. Like that's where this book no.

338
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Speaker 1: I mean, reading this, I was like you are so

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00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:13,120
Speaker 1: and listening to it on my Spotify app too, going

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00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,240
Speaker 1: back and forth. I was like, you're the most embarrassing

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Speaker 1: person on earth. But I was also like, like I

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Speaker 1: also like get why, like you kind of did become

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Speaker 1: famous and like there are stuff that you do in

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Speaker 1: here that like we also roast.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't really talk about his career that much because

346
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Speaker 2: into like the sort of influencer was like, now I'm

347
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:33,040
Speaker 2: an influencer basically means I get to do random shit

348
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Speaker 2: like and get paid to do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a little like I would. He probably

350
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,520
Speaker 1: thought that was boring and didn't want to write about

351
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Speaker 1: it because.

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Speaker 2: He gave more of like a build up, like he

353
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,040
Speaker 2: was on like wasn't he on local access like Manhattan TV?

354
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Speaker 2: And like had this show?

355
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Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know that.

356
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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would like to read about that.

357
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Speaker 2: So I think I have a memory like he was

358
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Speaker 2: kind of up and coming as like an alternative, like

359
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 2: very like all not like all stand up, but like

360
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,400
Speaker 2: more all comedian spaces were like, oh you have a

361
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 2: weird public act shresh out, And I feel like I

362
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,800
Speaker 2: remember this. Maybe it wasn't him, but I remember him

363
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 2: having this like outro line and the show where he

364
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,199
Speaker 2: was like and remember if you never get tested, you

365
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 2: can never get aids.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I mean he's so like defining your your

367
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Speaker 1: grandma's gonna die of age.

368
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,880
Speaker 2: Kind of this, you know, like be some buttah kind

369
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 2: of you know evolution, which I was like, Okay, he's

370
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Speaker 2: having fun.

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Speaker 1: And so then he kind of just like continues to

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Speaker 1: more talk about like his childhood and how he became

373
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Speaker 1: like such a fucking weirdo. Is like his whole mythology

374
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 1: about himself is he's like, I'm actually the weirdest person

375
00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,959
Speaker 1: on earth and like my dad took me to a

376
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Speaker 1: strip club in Brighton Beach.

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Speaker 2: I mean that story is insane.

378
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,160
Speaker 1: It's pretty crazy. Maybe we'll just.

379
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 2: Do you want to read it? I have a little

380
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,880
Speaker 2: do you want to read the part with the stripper.

381
00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:00,480
Speaker 2: So after his bar Metzvah, his dad like thinks he's gay.

382
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,600
Speaker 2: I guess this funny thing where he's like most kids

383
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,480
Speaker 2: are fucking gay, Like they are obsessed with their.

384
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Speaker 1: Moms, I said, and like I feel like I'm always

385
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,159
Speaker 1: meeting a six year old and like they have this

386
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 1: high voice and are just being like mommy and just

387
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,040
Speaker 1: like wanting to put on costumes.

388
00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,000
Speaker 2: He goes as a really as a little kid, I

389
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,840
Speaker 2: was very into fashion. I made and sort of plato

390
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,359
Speaker 2: or dervs, and I was obsessed with disco music, not

391
00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,920
Speaker 2: just stereotype, but that shit's all pretty gay.

392
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Speaker 1: And throughout the book he'll be like, seriously, I am

393
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,600
Speaker 1: obsessed with like furniture.

394
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:34,000
Speaker 2: And then he had an autumn thesvo that is funny.

395
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,880
Speaker 2: I'm like autumn, no, and.

396
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,399
Speaker 1: He's like most kids with theme at like basketball, but

397
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,520
Speaker 1: my theme was just autumn.

398
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,560
Speaker 3: Also even saying autumn.

399
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,480
Speaker 1: Not like fall.

400
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 2: Crazy gay.

401
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,879
Speaker 1: So after the Autumn bar Mitzvah, like he really wants

402
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 1: to just go home.

403
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,400
Speaker 3: And eat cake with his mom.

404
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,000
Speaker 1: He see, it's like a little mama's boy, and his

405
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,760
Speaker 1: dad is like, no, like you need to man up.

406
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 1: So his dad brings smooth club. He's so just like,

407
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 1: how does my dad even know this club? He scared.

408
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:09,880
Speaker 1: He sketched his dad brings over a stripper to him.

409
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 1: She flopped her soft real tits all over my face.

410
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:18,520
Speaker 3: She gonna fuck me right here in front of my dad.

411
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,560
Speaker 1: Then Martinka removed her tits from my head, turned around,

412
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,160
Speaker 1: put her hands on the ground, sugar ass in my face,

413
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,639
Speaker 1: and without warning, kicked her legs up and over me,

414
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,919
Speaker 1: landed her heels on the table, had my chair, and

415
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:32,920
Speaker 1: put her vagina into just my sweet angel face.

416
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,440
Speaker 3: I came in my pants.

417
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,520
Speaker 1: I mean that sincereously, A small circular stain of seed

418
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 1: began increasing inside my pant like dad, I shouted to

419
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 1: the universe looking back, that was probably a really creepy

420
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:49,920
Speaker 1: thing to say. Martinka looked at me upside down through

421
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 1: her arms, then down in my suit pants. Dark blotches

422
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 1: had formed around my dick area. She flipped her body around,

423
00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,720
Speaker 1: her legs floated back to the ground with grace, and

424
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:03,040
Speaker 1: she to back up dramatically because she was obviously a

425
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,919
Speaker 1: gymnast at age thirteen, as well as a stripper like

426
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:10,280
Speaker 1: all Russian woman. He's not gay, she said to my dad,

427
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,360
Speaker 1: who came brushing over to look at me sitting frozen,

428
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 1: horrified in the chair, and the.

429
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,159
Speaker 3: Car ride home was incredibly awkward.

430
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 2: I really love that story. I hope it's true.

431
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,640
Speaker 1: I really crazy and I was wondering, like, has.

432
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:30,160
Speaker 2: That happened to me? The answer is yes, your dad

433
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 2: was like, okay, not my dad. But I remember in

434
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,680
Speaker 2: freshman year of college, if you'll think back to two

435
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 2: thousand and six, New York City, and I went to

436
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,240
Speaker 2: Happy Valley with a fake ID, which was a club

437
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,680
Speaker 2: that he pleased to coach.

438
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 1: Honey, we used to go to Happy Valley.

439
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,679
Speaker 3: It was the best at times, it was the worst

440
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:55,399
Speaker 3: at times.

441
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,640
Speaker 2: So I was that Happy Valley and I was wearing

442
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 2: this mustard pull that was kind of my freaking dress

443
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: at the time. I don't know if you remember it.

444
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: Girls drop your freaking dresses from two thousand and six

445
00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: in the comments, and I met this guy.

446
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,239
Speaker 2: We were making out. He kind of had like a

447
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 2: bowl cut and kind of like a round face, and

448
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 2: he was like a little bigger rot. And I do

449
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 2: I think either he was trattling me or I was wait, no,

450
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:27,720
Speaker 2: I think he was traddling me.

451
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: Hu and your mustard Polo, my mustard.

452
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,960
Speaker 2: Folo, and we were like making out and then I

453
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 2: literally did come in my jeans and I every weed

454
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,640
Speaker 2: everywhere and I just spontaneously ejaculated in my jeans while

455
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 2: we're making out on a banquet at Happy Valley, and

456
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 2: we were like making out and he like kind of

457
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,679
Speaker 2: touched my crotch and he could like feel that it

458
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 2: was wet, and then I think he and he literally

459
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,119
Speaker 2: was just like oh, and he kind of like.

460
00:21:55,240 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, little man, I don't let you patch.

461
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 2: And I kind of just like pretended it didn't happen,

462
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,679
Speaker 2: even to myself. I kind of pretended. I was just like,

463
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 2: I don't think that was coming. I still wasn't like

464
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 2: totally sure what coming was at that point. At a JT,

465
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:19,200
Speaker 2: it's a half come and yeah. And then I think

466
00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 2: we did exchange like phone numbers on a piece of paper,

467
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 2: but I don't know if I ever texted.

468
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 1: After he felt your like new freshly wedb APC splooge.

469
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: I feel like Carlo hadn't heard the word spooge and

470
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,200
Speaker 1: so long since reading this book.

471
00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, this book is very spooge.

472
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing that vulnerable.

473
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,640
Speaker 3: Sure, And if you're out there you're young. Oh yeah.

474
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:44,840
Speaker 1: Also, if you're out there.

475
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:49,959
Speaker 2: San, I text me or don't let me know if

476
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 2: you're married.

477
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 1: So he goes to Tampa and this is like kind

478
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 1: of gets into his mid fame again. He stills never

479
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: like I fired up Instagram and started posting memes. But

480
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 1: he'll be like, and I was an Internet sensation. And

481
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:15,359
Speaker 1: what happens when you're an Internet sensation You get asked

482
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,879
Speaker 1: to host fucking weird shit.

483
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 2: And he gets to judge a pregnant woman bikini contest.

484
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 2: And if you know me, you know I love fucked

485
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 2: up shit like this. And yeah, it went from sketchy

486
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:33,199
Speaker 2: and hot to sketchy and scary. Uh this motel, I

487
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 2: was saying it looked like it had the ghost of

488
00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 2: a thousand boys you'd been molested.

489
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 1: He has this which is very like upper West side

490
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 1: of him is like his whole thing is just being like, dude,

491
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: I can't believe you're afraid of going to like Korean

492
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,959
Speaker 1: barbecues and a dog fight in Queens and doing shots

493
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,320
Speaker 1: off a stripper. But then he's a little just like

494
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 1: sketched by stuff like Tampa. Yeah, yeah, like I feel

495
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: like if it's out of New York.

496
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 2: Saying that because Tampa's famous.

497
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 3: Like again making a Florida, it's.

498
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: Making on Florida jokes. It's the pet cruiser, like Tampa

499
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,239
Speaker 2: is the city. Like its still a punchline. You can

500
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,200
Speaker 2: always use Tampa as a punchline.

501
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 1: And he is a weird night where he goes and

502
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 1: then is being like a little just kind of like

503
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: classic like guy savior where he's like, actually, the runner

504
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,879
Speaker 1: up girl like was really sweet and like smart, and

505
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,919
Speaker 1: I like took her out for a Sunday and we

506
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:30,720
Speaker 1: actually got to talking. She was like really cool, and

507
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:34,919
Speaker 1: then they go back to her house and she says

508
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 1: like how she was like knocked up but her boyfriend

509
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,359
Speaker 1: left her, and then he's like ready to fuck her,

510
00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 1: and then she falls asleep and he's like, for once,

511
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,679
Speaker 1: I did the right thing, and I left her the

512
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:47,600
Speaker 1: money I made hosting the contest so.

513
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 2: She would have the seven fifty, which was the prize

514
00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,760
Speaker 2: that the winner actually got.

515
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,560
Speaker 1: Which then transitions into another chapter about him being a

516
00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,160
Speaker 1: hero where he like saves a like dirty ass, this

517
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 1: big titty deaf.

518
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 3: Woman from his burning apartment building.

519
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 2: But then the whole story was made up. Did you

520
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 2: get to the end of the chapter I did.

521
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 3: And then they go to the like Battleman's house.

522
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 2: That that part annoying me more than any Yeah, because

523
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 2: it's like so he says he made the entire story up.

524
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 2: This was the filling pages aspect of this book that

525
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:21,919
Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe talk a little bit more about how

526
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 2: you come up with your Instagram captions. I think we

527
00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 2: could all relate to that.

528
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,639
Speaker 1: This is what I'm saying about him being sketched. So

529
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 1: he has this whole chapter about like like fucking crazy

530
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: ass like chicks he's dated, and he'll be this is

531
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,480
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. This is so pre Trump because I

532
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 1: feel like he like wouldn't do this now where he'll

533
00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,160
Speaker 1: be like Lindsay height, five foot four, weight, one hundred

534
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 1: and twenty pounds, hair, dirty, blonde issues, so many. Lindsay

535
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: was from Sacramento, which is disgusting, but she had everything

536
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 1: else that I wanted in a groupie. She was Jewish,

537
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,160
Speaker 1: she had mediocre worked on so her boobs were rock solid.

538
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:59,520
Speaker 1: I love bad plastic surgery. She had to tune her

539
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,120
Speaker 1: rib cake that said regret nothing, and most of all,

540
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,919
Speaker 1: she was a legendary mess.

541
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 3: No.

542
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think that you couldn't not like

543
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,960
Speaker 2: say how rock hard of chicks tits are now, It's

544
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 2: just that this would wouldn't be coded as like like liberal.

545
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 2: This would be coded as like conservative comic now, oh yes,

546
00:26:20,080 --> 00:26:23,919
Speaker 2: or maybe just like more like mainstream like Middle America comic,

547
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,880
Speaker 2: but definitely would not be like a coastal a coastal little.

548
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 1: Leeds being like her weight was one hundred and twenty pounds, right,

549
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 1: and then so Lindsey, he's like about a woman's weight.

550
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 1: He's like so, he's like, she's so weird and this

551
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 1: is he posts these like screen grabs of their text,

552
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: being like, this is how weird she was. She says,

553
00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 1: you know what one of my main turnounds is. He says,

554
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:51,920
Speaker 1: do tell, she says abortions. And then the audiobook he's

555
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: litterle you know, he's he and it's like you think

556
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: if he was being more Sarah Silverman, he would be like, ah,

557
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,760
Speaker 1: this chick is crazy, but he would literally was like

558
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaker 1: okay in the audio and he's being so like.

559
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 3: That's now that's actually too weird for me.

560
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 2: But then he's also like it turned me on so much.

561
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 1: It did, and then he's like, yeah, we did like

562
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 1: reverse Flicio boobgras.

563
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,479
Speaker 2: But then he goes to her house and she has

564
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 2: all the posters of him, which is freaky. That is freaky,

565
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 2: and he puts her in the dryer.

566
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: This part is so us. I entered the apartment, everything

567
00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: was so normal for a twenty two year old, not

568
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 1: at all what I expected. The poster of a soldier

569
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,440
Speaker 1: kissing a girl in Paris on the wall. Think Ikea

570
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 1: but like nice IKEA clossy coffee table, Yeah, a bol

571
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: sitting on little kitchen table filled with pairs, A relatively

572
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: new flat screen pictures of Lindsay with her whole family

573
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: looking so having the beach, A badass Johnny Cash poster

574
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 1: that was purchased at Urban Outfitters.

575
00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 2: No, I mean he's gay with his observations for sure. Yeah.

576
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: And then it's revealed after the Johnny Cash poster that

577
00:27:58,040 --> 00:27:59,920
Speaker 1: she has posted of him.

578
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 2: That he calls okay, this girl who like stocks him,

579
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 2: He calls her a chuckle fucker who says with comedians.

580
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:09,679
Speaker 1: Have you heard not heard the frame? I guess I

581
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: have framed.

582
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 2: I haven't heard that frame before.

583
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: That phrase chuckle fucker. I mean, I guess we're both

584
00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 1: victims of it.

585
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 2: Chuckle fuckers are definitely always in nin DMS, and I'm like,

586
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:20,680
Speaker 2: thank you.

587
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you, next, thank you.

588
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,720
Speaker 2: So absolutely respect the chucklefucker community.

589
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,919
Speaker 1: Absolutely. So I looked up who his ex wife was,

590
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: and she's like this, like plus size like activist podcaster

591
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: girl buss okay, and name like Katie.

592
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 2: Of course he's also a plus size activist girl buss. No,

593
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 2: I know.

594
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 1: So that's why it makes sense. And since they're married

595
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 1: from twenty fourteen to twenty seventeen, so.

596
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:45,440
Speaker 2: Like right when the book was being written, but he

597
00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 2: isn't talking.

598
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:50,320
Speaker 1: About curious about that three year marriage.

599
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 2: I was a little curious.

600
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: Do you think it's like he broke it off because

601
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 1: she wasn't freaky enough for him, or like she broke

602
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:00,720
Speaker 1: it off because she was like I've actually like you

603
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: need to get it together.

604
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:06,479
Speaker 2: Something was changing and evolving in his life, and you know,

605
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,760
Speaker 2: for all the reasons we've already discussed about the evolution

606
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 2: of culture, Like I think like he couldn't stay where

607
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,239
Speaker 2: he was, and so he became more of a you know,

608
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 2: a she boss and an entrepreneur launching his wine. Yeah,

609
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,880
Speaker 2: and then I guess the wine didn't pivot or innovate

610
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 2: enough or something, because you couldn't even find it on

611
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 2: the way here. Again, like it's in everybody go, because

612
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 2: I feel like it's not even that long ago. I

613
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 2: was seeing babe Yes pretty frequently.

614
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: Definitely. You go into any liquor store, it's like, there's

615
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 1: gonna be some babe. And then I went after the gym,

616
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: I go into this like wine store and it's like

617
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: eleven am, and I'm like, and he's like, can I

618
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:42,440
Speaker 1: help you?

619
00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 2: You're like, mommy needs her medicine.

620
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

621
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, I have a question. Do you

622
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 3: have Babe Rose?

623
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: And he was like no, But then he was trying

624
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: to sell me on just like that other canned wine

625
00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:59,760
Speaker 1: that's everywhere, like Underwood, and he.

626
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 2: Brought over it.

627
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: Yet I was like, I'm not going to tell them

628
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,400
Speaker 1: the whole story that I read the fact who want

629
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 1: this for my podcast? I was just kind of like, oh.

630
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: He was like, this is actually a really good can wine.

631
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 1: I kind of nodded, and I was like maybe next time, maybe,

632
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 1: maybe I'm really busy today, maybe next time at noon,

633
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 1: I'll crack open an Underwood can of pino and a water.

634
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 2: Totally settle into Underwood and really so.

635
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: Babe Babe was acquired by Anne Heisa Bush, so he

636
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: must have gotten a pretty good payout.

637
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 2: For I just got this fat exit and was just

638
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 2: got like, you know, got a two hundred million dollar

639
00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 2: exit from Babe and was like, I'm good. I'm never

640
00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 2: working again.

641
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm just gonna like go to an island

642
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: and like sleep with hookers and have them reenac scenes. Yeah,

643
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: there's a chapter for him where he's being very pro

644
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: sw secks work and he has them reenact to scene

645
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: from Brave Heart, and one leaves because she's like this

646
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,880
Speaker 1: shit is crazy, like all fuck, but I'm not going

647
00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:18,920
Speaker 1: to reenact a scene from Brave Heart. And then one

648
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: of them stays and does, and he is being like,

649
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: I actually do think we had a connection, and then

650
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,520
Speaker 1: he tries to kiss her and she's like you know,

651
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: and then he sets her up with an agent and

652
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: like he's like, I fucking turns.

653
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 2: Back to his kind of like savior, yes of the

654
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 2: savior role, right and hw with the other pregnant check anything.

655
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: That's why he likes, you know, maybe these more fucked

656
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 2: up chicks. Yeah, because he gets to be the savior.

657
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 2: He gets to be the hero of the story.

658
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,400
Speaker 1: And he gets to be like, we're both such like

659
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,400
Speaker 1: fucked up people. Where at the end of the day,

660
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: is he that fucked up? No, No, he's not.

661
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:58,520
Speaker 2: He comes from like a super stable and Jewish family.

662
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,080
Speaker 2: So the he does talk about his childhood acting career,

663
00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 2: which was kind of interesting. He was in commercials as

664
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 2: a kid, and he scored like a what was it,

665
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 2: a oh, Hershey's, a Hrshey's commercial.

666
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,400
Speaker 1: And he becomes kind of a diva.

667
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,479
Speaker 2: And then yeah, and then he's like starts demanding like

668
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,959
Speaker 2: chicken nuggets in the dressing room for like the next commercial.

669
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 2: A week after the hirsh commercial air, I was casting

670
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 2: another commercial for clothing company called French Toast. The day

671
00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: of the French Toast shoot, I was a monster on set.

672
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 2: I was demanding, loud and shitty to everyone who worked

673
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: on the crew. I was like Mariah Carey at the

674
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 2: height of her career, but with a tiny little penis,

675
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,960
Speaker 2: which is just again, very much what this whole book

676
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 2: is about him just always been like I'm fucking thirteen

677
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 2: and my dick couldn't be smaller of And then but

678
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 2: he gets out of the anting career because he goes

679
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 2: in this one audition and he doesn't realize that it's

680
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 2: a it's like a commercial for child abuse, and he's

681
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 2: like reading the Lion's Way to like happily and like

682
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 2: with too much pizazz, and then he feels really embarrassed

683
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 2: and so he just doesn't want to do it anymore.

684
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: But then he also like honestly very meme vibes. He

685
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:14,040
Speaker 1: also gets too high in his acting career and then

686
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 1: like he's a little bit like over it too. As

687
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 1: I got the.

688
00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 2: Sense because it was he was it was like he

689
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,320
Speaker 2: wasn't going to be too famous, yeah, because he like

690
00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 2: now because he like almost did it. He ad to

691
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 2: play with like Kevin Spacey and he like gets it,

692
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: but then they actually they wanted to be the understudy. Yeah,

693
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:31,600
Speaker 2: It's like he almost was like now I want the

694
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 2: world and I can't like do this more humble.

695
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: More humble things, and I got like too excited. And

696
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 1: then like his style, like he gets he's very like

697
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 1: a kid a movie about like a kid in elementary

698
00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 1: school who like gets rich. And he's like, so I

699
00:33:47,720 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: started coming into school wearing a Nintendo Power glove, which

700
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 1: I assume is a glove you wear two game.

701
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the power glove is actually it's a it's

702
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,480
Speaker 2: a pretty cool glove, Lily, don't knock it. I wasn't

703
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:03,880
Speaker 2: not no, I was like, it's funny. I just was

704
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 2: looking at my childhood power glove this weekend because it

705
00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 2: was I was up and from we have any s

706
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,239
Speaker 2: up there with the with the there's a duck hunt gun.

707
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 2: There was a guy you would shoot at the TV

708
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 2: to go duck hunting with. And then there's also the

709
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 2: power glove, which is basically like it's a very terminator

710
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 2: and it's like this big plastic glove with all these

711
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:23,440
Speaker 2: buttons on it.

712
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds actually pretty fucking dope. Like I'm

713
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,680
Speaker 1: just looting in my bands thinking about it.

714
00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:32,360
Speaker 2: It was cool, and he wore it to school, like

715
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 2: after he got his first like commercials. He thought he

716
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,239
Speaker 2: was such a bad us. He's like, where whatever I want?

717
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:38,840
Speaker 2: He was like, and it was fucking awesome.

718
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 3: I was like Jordan's power glove.

719
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the thing about video games is you know,

720
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 1: I you know, you may think I see it as nerdy.

721
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,800
Speaker 1: I really didn't. It's I liked I saw the accessories

722
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,759
Speaker 1: and the equipment and the culture of it is this.

723
00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 2: Mascular you were like.

724
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 3: So fabulous, But did I want to play?

725
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 2: Okay, we do have to move on a segments, but

726
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:06,799
Speaker 2: I wanted to maybe discuss a hot take that I

727
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,279
Speaker 2: was circulated on Twitter today that was pretty interesting that

728
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 2: came out of this book, okay, about male friendship. So

729
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:15,839
Speaker 2: like this book is.

730
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,680
Speaker 1: I wanted to touch alto on the Bachelor Party a

731
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: little bit.

732
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:21,799
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, I think this few and so cool because

733
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,080
Speaker 2: you remember when they go they're like shrewming in the

734
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 2: woods and He's like, we were all on our underpants.

735
00:35:27,520 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 2: It was like fucking Lord of the Flies and we're

736
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: shrooming and Josh and each other. It was like fucking

737
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 2: Broke Back Mountain and beautiful.

738
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 3: It's so fucking perfect.

739
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 2: And I, you know, this theory popped into my hat

740
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 2: that I wonder if the home eroticism that used to

741
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 2: be like a tenant of normal male friendship, jerking off

742
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:53,920
Speaker 2: born and you know, and and like you know, putting

743
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 2: your balls in your friend's face and like all this

744
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 2: kind of stuff. Like I wonder if there is less

745
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 2: of that now because of or And maybe maybe it's

746
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:04,440
Speaker 2: not causal one way or other, maybe they both are

747
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:06,440
Speaker 2: part of like a larger culture movement, but if the

748
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 2: sort of commoditization of quote unquote queer identity, and so

749
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 2: when we talk about you know, things like Harry's styles

750
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,719
Speaker 2: between the Channel and petropescal and polyamory and all these

751
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 2: kind of like almost you know, the sort of consumer

752
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:24,400
Speaker 2: lifestylification of things that were once classically more gay coded.

753
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:30,239
Speaker 2: Is that preventing straight men from being able to kind

754
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:32,799
Speaker 2: of like t bag tea bag and be physical with

755
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 2: each other, because now it's like like all that gayness

756
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,240
Speaker 2: is now so performative and like identity cod.

757
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 1: Clear, and it's like, actually, eleven year olds if you

758
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 1: could weigh in, because I do want to know if

759
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,960
Speaker 1: like eleven year olds are like tea bagging each other

760
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 1: and then just being so like, dude, you can totally

761
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,280
Speaker 1: have consent tea bang ry.

762
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: But then I feel like or it's like not even

763
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 2: that they're being so consent, but that they're just being like, well,

764
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,360
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna like tea bag is actually part of

765
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,399
Speaker 2: queer culture sure, and like and like I'll be part

766
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 2: of cur culture like and like I'll like date my

767
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 2: like you know, I'll date my non binary poly girlfriend

768
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 2: and we'll be queer and will be so like, you know,

769
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 2: I'm wearing like a tank top, and therefore I'm kind

770
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:19,479
Speaker 2: of like I'm acknowledging like the culture I'm taking from.

771
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 2: But I'm not gonna like te back my friends because

772
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 2: that's going too far.

773
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's like different also and different parts of

774
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 1: the country, right. I still kind of think, honestly, like

775
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 1: at the basis, I still feel like they're eleven year

776
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,760
Speaker 1: olds are like jerking off together, like watching like crowded

777
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: around all in their gaming chairs, watching porn together.

778
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 3: And maybe at fifteen that's a little more.

779
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 1: I'm wearing my tank top and I'm like dating my

780
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 1: non binary partner, right, but I think like the boys

781
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:49,439
Speaker 1: out there are still.

782
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,799
Speaker 2: They're still having that physicality with each other. Yeah, it's

783
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 2: based on absolutely not fame.

784
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 1: But okay, okay, only because I have a friend who

785
00:37:58,920 --> 00:38:02,359
Speaker 1: has like a cousin, nephew or whatever, and he was like, oh, yeah,

786
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: I walked by his room while like the kids were

787
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: having a sleepover, and it was like all these eleven

788
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 1: year old boys and they were gonna be like they

789
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,080
Speaker 1: were just being like I'm going to finger your butt

790
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: in your mom.

791
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 2: Oh, that's so sweet.

792
00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, but and this is kind of a modern I

793
00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 1: would say, coastal elite teen who I think now has

794
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 1: evolved to be a little more maybe interested in non

795
00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: binary folk.

796
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 2: And I think, wait, you think this teen is a

797
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:30,480
Speaker 2: queerdo now? No?

798
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: But I think it's probably like respecting, like being like

799
00:38:33,239 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 1: binary is.

800
00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,000
Speaker 2: Being like, right, a totally respectful guy who is queer

801
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 2: baiting and is bringing like high waisted.

802
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: Pants basically, And so I think maybe it's more like

803
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 1: both can happen now, right, the duality, And maybe it's

804
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 1: like more in the Midwest, not to be coastal. Maybe

805
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: it is more just like tea bagging.

806
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,600
Speaker 2: But some guy did coming my dread was just like, yeah,

807
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 2: like it sucks, Like now all we can do is

808
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 2: like compliment each other's pant rise.

809
00:38:58,040 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 3: That is also true, right, And it's like because.

810
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: Guys only have streetwear to connect with them anymore, they

811
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 2: can't fucking grab each other's jobs, right.

812
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 1: It's like when I went to Udelco and it was like,

813
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: you know, we would see like other boys thrift when

814
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: we were teens, but like I had never seen like

815
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,720
Speaker 1: groups of fifteen year olds like I do now today,

816
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: and it is.

817
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:20,840
Speaker 2: Like, oh, like when we went in Seattle and we

818
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,440
Speaker 2: saw like so many they're.

819
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 3: All in gloves.

820
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,759
Speaker 1: They're all in gloves and lace and just being like

821
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,080
Speaker 1: those pants are fire to each other. Ye are they

822
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: have the ty bag to each other? Are they all

823
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:36,480
Speaker 1: going home? Because they all like also have their own phones.

824
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,200
Speaker 1: They're not like crowding around getting like one skin a

825
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 1: max title.

826
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 2: No, I mean that's I think that's also the democratization

827
00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 2: of access to sexual material means that they're not having

828
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: those moments where they're all sharing a playboy.

829
00:39:48,760 --> 00:39:51,840
Speaker 1: This is the great switch hashtags switch And now like

830
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: maybe girls are experimenting with each other earlier and now

831
00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,800
Speaker 1: boys are just like talking about pant rises and respectability

832
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,839
Speaker 1: and girls are actually like more and more fingering each

833
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 1: other at twelve.

834
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:09,879
Speaker 2: Yeah five, ant of them style too far?

835
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: Anyway, we're old. We don't know.

836
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 2: If you're seven and listening to this podcast and you're like, no, me,

837
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 2: my guy friends are all pegging each other, you know,

838
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:31,040
Speaker 2: fat segments, fat segments. How does she eat? What what

839
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:31,400
Speaker 2: did she?

840
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:32,360
Speaker 1: What does she?

841
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 2: What is she?

842
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 1: How does she live?

843
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,719
Speaker 2: Did I feel like that I jewish? Is Lloyd dead?

844
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:40,920
Speaker 2: Where he's on an island somewhere.

845
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,239
Speaker 1: I think he said, here's what I want to say

846
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,279
Speaker 1: about his hair. He talks about things that like how

847
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: like guys should never wear hats and how it is

848
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:48,919
Speaker 1: so pickup artist to wear a hat.

849
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 2: And this book has the most gimmick hairdo I know.

850
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 1: And it's like just the top but with the shaved head.

851
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 1: It's so disgusting and gimmick and is like for so

852
00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,520
Speaker 1: a girl to be so like, I hate your hair,

853
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 1: and then for him to make like ridiculous joke and neger.

854
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 2: And then she's just like, he's so confident. I don't

855
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 2: know what it is.

856
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,799
Speaker 1: She's like, he's so disgusting. Why am I So.

857
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 2: He definitely figured that out, Yeah so, but yeah, what

858
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:19,839
Speaker 2: is he? I mean? So he wears it's like if

859
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 2: he were alive today, Rip probably pretty made on deray

860
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,560
Speaker 2: because he's so like, I'm like New York and I'm

861
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,360
Speaker 2: into like fucking hipster ship. Yeah, I'm a fucking hipster

862
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 2: douche canoe.

863
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:40,160
Speaker 1: Like I literally think he's wearing a.

864
00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 2: Cropped like corde.

865
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: Jacket, but it's like corrus literally with like a pattern

866
00:41:43,320 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: of a man on a canoe holding a dog, like

867
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 1: a pleasure's jacket or whatever, yeah, I would say it's

868
00:41:50,719 --> 00:41:52,839
Speaker 1: like the most gimmicky of the streamer stuff. And then

869
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, I'm wearing a gold track suit because

870
00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,560
Speaker 1: why they'll fuck not and my small dick can loose

871
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 1: in it.

872
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. Sorry, Is there anything fucking cooler than a guy

873
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 2: in a gold track suit? There is not.

874
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 3: What is he eat?

875
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: At one point he says he's eating Indian mixed in

876
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:14,360
Speaker 1: with bost.

877
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 3: That made me laugh.

878
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:26,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's I'm fucking disgusting, I'm nasty. I'm ordering six

879
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 2: pounds of Chick fil A.

880
00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,200
Speaker 1: But he also is like saying vegan strip clubs have

881
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: dope black bean burgers.

882
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 3: And at the end he's like.

883
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 1: Excuse me while I go check out the new Gaspacho

884
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,800
Speaker 1: and you at the new strip club.

885
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 2: So he eats like a lot of.

886
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,480
Speaker 1: He's a lot of stuff, and I'm but like, you

887
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:46,480
Speaker 1: could alter. He could also just be so tau at

888
00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 1: the same time where he's like, yeah, I'm gonna have

889
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 1: the most fucking amazing tuna with Sabby Mayo bag no.

890
00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 2: Rub Clo matto. How does he live? I mean he's

891
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:07,840
Speaker 2: definitely like mounted. The frets Queen is mounted and cocked

892
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:12,440
Speaker 2: on the wall. The Dirty white couch, lots of just

893
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 2: like fluorescent lights, like kooky.

894
00:43:14,640 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: Like almost like not that he does have the sand

895
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 1: of all house, but it's like he does have. It

896
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: is like he definitely has like a gold.

897
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,759
Speaker 2: Basketball reflective SCEs, a.

898
00:43:23,719 --> 00:43:27,720
Speaker 1: Gold sculpture of his dick that's like tied I dipped

899
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 1: in glitter and signed by Samuel.

900
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 2: Jack little bit coin style.

901
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, like they're crazy bongs. There's like a photo of

902
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: him and fucking Kenny G. Frame for no fucking reason.

903
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 2: Defines Kenny G. He's so just like, I mean, he's

904
00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 2: a little bit like, dude, we're getting so high and

905
00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 2: seeing carrot.

906
00:43:53,320 --> 00:44:01,760
Speaker 1: Top me vibes. Uh low bed though, I think.

907
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's a low bed in a normal way,

908
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:07,960
Speaker 2: but in a low way.

909
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,320
Speaker 1: We didn't even talk about how he jerked off on

910
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:11,520
Speaker 1: the Great Wall of China.

911
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,239
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean that's funny when he has this

912
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,120
Speaker 2: whole mission as a child to jerk off at like

913
00:44:15,920 --> 00:44:16,960
Speaker 2: historic sites.

914
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:20,359
Speaker 1: And he like is jerking off at in a porter partty.

915
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 2: At the tower.

916
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:23,800
Speaker 3: He's like, yeah, it's about the diapers.

917
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 2: Okay, who are you in the book?

918
00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 1: I guess we're just like both the fat but we're

919
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:39,000
Speaker 1: also like a little bit his brother's friends who are

920
00:44:39,040 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: like asking him to plan the bachelor party because we know,

921
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 1: like he's gonna plan the craziest party.

922
00:44:45,760 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 2: Who are you asking to plan your bachelor party because

923
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 2: we know they're going to be so crazy about it.

924
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,359
Speaker 2: I feel like we're planning your bachelor party. Yeah, we're

925
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 2: talking about it every Month's serious.

926
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 1: Okay, So we are the Fatoo and.

927
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,800
Speaker 2: We are just like we like to do ridiculous stuff,

928
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 2: Like we literally have a podcast where we read totally

929
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 2: shitty books.

930
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,800
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, no one asked.

931
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 1: I mean drink fucking weird ass drinks, weird drinks, and

932
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 1: we like guilty pleasures.

933
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,439
Speaker 2: Sorry, we're actual trash Pandas.

934
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:26,120
Speaker 1: Heso define it. Yeah, it's like literally never work. He

935
00:45:26,239 --> 00:45:28,640
Speaker 1: defines Panda humor, which is Jack Black.

936
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 2: It's a little bit just like, yeah, why am I.

937
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:39,040
Speaker 1: Tracted to Pandas? All right? Five Pandas.

938
00:45:40,880 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 2: Accuracy, The fact that it's actually a memoir by you.

939
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 1: Literally mem moore about me. It's like the most like

940
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:50,480
Speaker 1: annoying ass book. Like he succeeded, Like he made the

941
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:54,240
Speaker 1: most annoying ass book in the world delivers.

942
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:58,960
Speaker 2: It's an interesting time capsule. Time capsule and a mirror,

943
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 2: and I think it like I would encourage people to

944
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 2: read it. When you think that we've come so far,

945
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,319
Speaker 2: I do. I think in some ways we have, We

946
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 2: really have, and I think we're still circling like twenty

947
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:15,640
Speaker 2: ten and maybe always will be. Wow. All right, thanks

948
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:16,320
Speaker 2: cub kids.

949
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:22,080
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, best you, Horny Panda, Best Trash.

950
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 4: Pandas uh Clebby book Club hosted by Stephen and Lily

951
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 4: AKA the most fucking epic podcast ever made, was executive

952
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 4: produced by this.

953
00:46:39,000 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 1: Crazy psycho bitch, Christina Everett.

954
00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 2: Dude, I don't even know what executive producer means, Like,

955
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,840
Speaker 2: who the fuck is that? Like this is some crazy

956
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:55,360
Speaker 2: man eating badass coke, snorting like fully out of scarface,

957
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:59,280
Speaker 2: badass bitch wearing like a leather fucking jumpsuit or something

958
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:02,320
Speaker 2: you fucking just change. She's gonna eat my dick off

959
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:03,760
Speaker 2: and it's fucking hot.

960
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:08,880
Speaker 1: Supervising producers a Muzafhar who was my brother's best man.

961
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 2: Dude.

962
00:47:10,080 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 1: That dude can take a fucking lap dance like a

963
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: mother fucking champ. And when I say a lap dance,

964
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:20,400
Speaker 1: I mean a lap dance by puppies.

965
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,960
Speaker 2: Dude. This fucking dude forced me to drink.

966
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 5: A shot of whiskey every twenty seconds for twenty minutes

967
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 5: at my bachelor party. I did have to go to

968
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,040
Speaker 5: the hospital and I woke up and he was jacking

969
00:47:34,040 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 5: me off.

970
00:47:36,120 --> 00:47:40,480
Speaker 2: That's how fucking cool he is. It was produced by

971
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 2: Darby Masters, and yeah, she is a fucking master. That's right.

972
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 2: She's into domination. She's a fucking dominatrix, which is the

973
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,000
Speaker 2: weirdest thing I've ever heard. And now I was like, oh, yeah, okay,

974
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,319
Speaker 2: at chick, who's the dom like, that's right. No, she

975
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 2: literally walks on like fat Russian guys with her stilettos

976
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,439
Speaker 2: for money because she's that fucking cool, and she does

977
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:03,240
Speaker 2: it sober.

978
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,799
Speaker 1: The most epic theme song ever made was produced by

979
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:11,640
Speaker 1: this dirt bag, Stephen Phillip's horse who came out of

980
00:48:11,719 --> 00:48:13,120
Speaker 1: Conge's asshole.

981
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 2: Dude, that guy is so fucking gay he would he

982
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 2: would suck a dead guy's dick. And I don't just

983
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 2: mean like any dead guy, I mean like fucking Hitler. No,

984
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 2: I'm talking about dude.

985
00:48:26,560 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 1: I walked in on him at my grandfather's funeral trying

986
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 1: to jerk my mother fucking grandpa off. How sick is that?

987
00:48:35,480 --> 00:48:38,160
Speaker 2: And yes, I know you're thinking, well, rigor mortar sets

988
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 2: in the dick is hard, you might as well try,

989
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:44,359
Speaker 2: you would be right, my dude. O, of.

990
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,279
Speaker 3: Course, is done by none other than Teddy.

991
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:51,280
Speaker 1: Blanks, who actually is just an amazing artist.

992
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:53,800
Speaker 2: Really fucking cool artists.

993
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,879
Speaker 3: I have tons of his shit up in my penthouse.

994
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:02,879
Speaker 1: This podcast was originally creative prolonged project when one night

995
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: I let them piss all.

996
00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 2: Over me and then we got tattoos that same night

997
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,439
Speaker 2: of the outland of the piss on my body. Yeah,

998
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 2: that's fucking cool, looking, dude. It's actually called conceptual art.

999
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 2: Look it up on Google if you even have the

1000
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 2: Internet because you're poor.

1001
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:19,640
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my good sirs.

1002
00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 1: If you want to fucking rate us, go to iTunes

1003
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 1: Steve Jobs little porn hub if you will, and just

1004
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 1: fucking rate us, give us one star.

1005
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:32,360
Speaker 3: I don't give a fuck. I fucked your mom.

1006
00:49:32,200 --> 00:49:33,759
Speaker 2: And dude, I have to make fucking rent. So go

1007
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,040
Speaker 2: to patreon dot com, sash CBC thepod dot com and

1008
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:39,799
Speaker 2: subscribe to our fucking Patreon, where there's more shit every

1009
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:42,320
Speaker 2: day of the goddamn week. Because I know you nasty

1010
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,399
Speaker 2: little piggies are so hungry for this shit coming out

1011
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 2: of my ass, and I will wrap it up in

1012
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:51,919
Speaker 2: tinfoil to you, put some goddamn cologne on it from

1013
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:55,520
Speaker 2: duty Free that I stole while my hot girlfriend was

1014
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 2: making a diversion. Yeah, that's right, she has huge tits.

1015
00:49:58,280 --> 00:49:59,600
Speaker 2: And then I'm gonna hand it to you and you're

1016
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 2: gonna like kit

1017
00:50:06,200 --> 00:50:06,239
Speaker 3: M