WEBVTT - You Hit My Car - 04.01.25

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<v Speaker 1>Surely this right here. Oh my god, you hit my car.

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<v Speaker 1>You hit my car. This is April fools right here, baby,

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<v Speaker 1>this is a good one for April fools. You hit

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<v Speaker 1>my car. And let me say this, I appreciate all

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<v Speaker 1>the love. I appreciate all the love that you all

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<v Speaker 1>enjoyed the Jasmine Crockett prank phone call. And that's not it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not over where. It's gonna be more so for

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<v Speaker 1>all your celebrities. That's whether you're politicians, lawyers, singers, actors.

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<v Speaker 1>You might want to check your phone because time it

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<v Speaker 1>gonna hit you up, it's gonna happen. I'm just letting

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<v Speaker 1>you know it's gonna happen. I'm gathering good numbers and

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<v Speaker 1>it's gonna happen. So be ye ready, all right, the

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<v Speaker 1>nephew is coming this right here.

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<v Speaker 2>You hit my car. Let's go catch doc.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh you wait that here? Raymond Neles all over the place.

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, I'm trying to speak to Adels. This is Do

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<v Speaker 1>you live in an apartment number seven eight?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, that depends on who's asking.

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<v Speaker 1>My name is Herman Welles. I live in building three,

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<v Speaker 1>apartment one O five. Do you live in a part

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<v Speaker 1>I'm in number seventy eight.

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<v Speaker 3>What you want with where I live?

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<v Speaker 1>Look, ma'am, do you drive a camera? A Toyota camera

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<v Speaker 1>light blue one?

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<v Speaker 3>Yes?

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<v Speaker 2>All right?

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<v Speaker 1>Your next door neighbor then told me that you ran

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<v Speaker 1>into my car. I got a Bens, a black one

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<v Speaker 1>of two thousand and five C two forty.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I got light blue.

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<v Speaker 3>Scratches on my My neighbor.

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<v Speaker 1>Told you what your neighbor. Matter of fact, his name

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<v Speaker 1>is Brian Kendall.

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<v Speaker 3>I told you the cross up live across the hall.

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<v Speaker 3>What the cross I that live across the hall told

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<v Speaker 3>you what?

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<v Speaker 1>Ma'am. Listen, all I know is he said he live

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<v Speaker 1>in apartment eighty.

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<v Speaker 2>He lived next door to you.

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<v Speaker 1>You live in a supposedly apartment seventy eights right here

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<v Speaker 1>in Cambridge Court apartments. Now, all I'm saying is he

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<v Speaker 1>told me your car is that? Which is the light

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<v Speaker 1>blue car? Hit my backed into my car. Now, I

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<v Speaker 1>ain't trying to create no problem, but somebody got to

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<v Speaker 1>fix my car and I got light blue scratches on

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<v Speaker 1>my Bens.

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<v Speaker 3>I checked my light blue claming. Wasn't the only light

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<v Speaker 3>blue camera they made?

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<v Speaker 2>Ma'am, You're the.

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<v Speaker 1>Only light You're the only light blue car in the parking.

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<v Speaker 3>Lot, the only light blue car in the parking lot

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<v Speaker 3>right now. I ain't gonna say I've been the only

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<v Speaker 3>light blue car in the parking lot, ma'am, I'm not

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<v Speaker 3>look and I'm in the middle of watching t What

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<v Speaker 3>can I do for you?

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<v Speaker 1>What you mean?

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<v Speaker 2>What can you do for me? You didn't hit my car.

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<v Speaker 3>He ain't touch your car. If you got some cameras

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<v Speaker 3>out in this parking live.

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<v Speaker 1>That saw me hit your car, No, I don't have

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<v Speaker 1>no cameras.

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<v Speaker 3>But then I believe this conversation is over and I

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<v Speaker 3>don't give what the cross eyed mad across the hall

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<v Speaker 3>told you.

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<v Speaker 1>Look, let me tell you something. You didn't hit my car.

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<v Speaker 3>Hold on, hold on playing Uh is you yelling at me?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not yelling at you, but you hit my car

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<v Speaker 1>to the only.

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<v Speaker 2>Light blue car in the parking.

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<v Speaker 3>Line, the only light blue car in the parking lot.

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<v Speaker 3>Now and as a matter of correct, my client is

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<v Speaker 3>me in the park a lot. My sister borro my

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<v Speaker 3>car go to the stop.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, is it possible that your sister is the one

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<v Speaker 1>that hit my car? Now? Now? What okay? Is your

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<v Speaker 1>sister when is she coming back? Maybe she hit my

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<v Speaker 1>car and didn't tell you she hit my car.

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<v Speaker 3>No, she ain't hit your car. She ain't hit your car,

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<v Speaker 3>because she would have told me she hit your call. Look,

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<v Speaker 3>I said, ain't nobody hit your car. My car ain't

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<v Speaker 3>got no scratches on it. Give what kind of scratches

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<v Speaker 3>you got on your car? But I can't do a

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<v Speaker 3>thing about it. And even if you did, let me

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<v Speaker 3>just be clear, I ain't got no insurance, no way,

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<v Speaker 3>so I can't do nothing for you.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait a minute, Wait a minute, let me tell.

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<v Speaker 3>You something you ain't got to tell me. You ain't

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<v Speaker 3>got to see me. Thank And as far as I'm concerned,

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<v Speaker 3>this conversation is over.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait a minute, let me ask you have a call

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<v Speaker 2>it back.

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<v Speaker 4>Mister.

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<v Speaker 3>You act like I ain't got your on my car,

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<v Speaker 3>But no, you had them scratches on your car all ready,

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<v Speaker 3>and you ain't finna use me as no excuse to

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<v Speaker 3>get you no new paper.

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<v Speaker 2>I ain't had no scratches already on my car.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah you had them, Oh yeah, you had no idea.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna tell them an insurance is justin if he

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<v Speaker 3>come over here now, because you gonna be using your insurance.

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<v Speaker 3>I already told you I ain't got it.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't make me come over to your apartment number seven eight,

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<v Speaker 1>standing in the door.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm on my way to the door now I'm standing

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<v Speaker 3>in the door. Come on, come on.

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<v Speaker 1>Look, I got thirty five hundred dollars worth of scratches

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<v Speaker 1>on my car that you need to pay for you

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<v Speaker 1>to own.

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<v Speaker 3>That ain't even worth thirty five one hundred dollars. So

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<v Speaker 3>you already doing better than me? What? What? What?

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<v Speaker 2>What?

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<v Speaker 3>Look? I already told you I'm tired of talking to you.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm watching TV and you ain't got talking to me

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<v Speaker 3>about it.

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<v Speaker 1>I need to talk to you about this car.

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<v Speaker 2>I got thirty cut your car.

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<v Speaker 3>My car ain't bumped up against your car. I ain't

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<v Speaker 3>even park next to no BMW's lately.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a bean whatever, it's a ben C two forty,

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<v Speaker 1>a black giver.

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<v Speaker 3>If it's a being seven seven and seven, I can't

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<v Speaker 3>help you.

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<v Speaker 2>They don't make a seven seven lady. Look, you know what?

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<v Speaker 2>Can I say something to you?

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<v Speaker 3>No, you can't say you know what you can say

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<v Speaker 3>to me? You can say bye.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to say one more thing to you,

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<v Speaker 1>one more thing.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna give you a one moment thing. Go ahead, on.

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<v Speaker 2>All I want to.

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<v Speaker 1>Say is this, nephew, Timmy from the Steve Harvey Morning Show,

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<v Speaker 1>your sister robbing out of d C.

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<v Speaker 2>You putting me up?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh that it's gonna make me. You know what, I

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<v Speaker 3>don't even have y'all show. I listened to the show

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<v Speaker 3>on the internet and this, Oh you wait till I

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<v Speaker 3>talked to her ally.

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<v Speaker 1>Mister Dale, Well, Lizzen, before you go, can you tell

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<v Speaker 1>me what is the baddest radio show in the.

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<v Speaker 3>Land, The Steve Harvey Morning Show. Alright, nephew, talk me.

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<v Speaker 2>You knew you didn't run into nobody else.

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<v Speaker 3>I hear nobody because I'll be trying to pull myself

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<v Speaker 3>out their phone, so won't nobody here?

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<v Speaker 2>You know? All right.

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<v Speaker 1>Now, that deserves some praise up in here, y'all already

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<v Speaker 1>know what? All right, I'm the only light blue camera

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<v Speaker 1>in parking lot right now, right now? Who tell you

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<v Speaker 1>that talking about the crosshide person blank blank cross the hall.

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<v Speaker 1>That was a good one, Thank you so kind of

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<v Speaker 1>all right? This week I'm headed to Charlotte, North Carolina.

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<v Speaker 1>It is Charlotte Friday Night, soul Out Saturday shows and

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<v Speaker 1>soul Out. I got a couple of tickets left for

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<v Speaker 1>Sunday show, So get your tickets if you want to

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<v Speaker 1>come see the Nephew.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna get in a little bit early on Thursday.

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<v Speaker 1>Hang out with my boy at the Marquis and Charlotte's

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<v Speaker 1>where I hang out when I go sholl I hang

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<v Speaker 1>out at the market, my boy, Kennedy. What is the

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<v Speaker 1>MARQUI Oh, it's like a night light jazzy type of

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<v Speaker 1>you know, some place you would go to. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's class. It's for a man like yourself, the Marquee.

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<v Speaker 1>Matter of fact. What you're doing this weekend?

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<v Speaker 2>I want you want to do? You want to do

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<v Speaker 2>ten minutes?

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<v Speaker 1>You're not going to gonna give him ten minutes.

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<v Speaker 2>That's hey, call card. Don't give no more, say no,

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<v Speaker 2>I know what you can do.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm gonna such it. I'm gonna start a fire. Can't

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<v Speaker 4>get put out team because I'm not gonna do ten.

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<v Speaker 4>Once you give me ten, I'm gonna goss to do twenty.

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<v Speaker 4>Because you gotta understand, if I walk out on the

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<v Speaker 4>comedy stage right now, three of them minutes is pure applause.

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<v Speaker 2>I tell you right now, I got room for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Can't Braill Comedy Club outside of Los Angeles April thirteenth,

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<v Speaker 1>that Sunday night, one night only, one show only. The

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<v Speaker 1>Nephew was coming in any way, the hell I can

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<v Speaker 1>go down real big though. Bill Comedy Club is to

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<v Speaker 1>April ninety Team Jackson Florida. That is Easter weekend, Jacksonville, Florida.

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<v Speaker 1>Than Nephew. It is an evening with Nephew Tommy. That's

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<v Speaker 1>at the Florida Theater. That is April nineteenth. It's Easter weekend.

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<v Speaker 1>You can wear your Easter suit Saturday with me, just

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<v Speaker 1>to make sure it look right.

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<v Speaker 2>Sunday for past I ain't.

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<v Speaker 4>Gonna smell the same on Sunday, though, y'all, don't I understand.

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<v Speaker 2>I understand. I ain't going. I'm not gonna lock the smoking.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna lock the dose on you at the

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<v Speaker 1>Florida Theater. Tickets on sale right now. Laying in the

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<v Speaker 1>cut is Louisville, Kentucky, twenty three, twenty four, twenty five. Louisville,

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<v Speaker 1>Kentucky at the Louisville Comedy Club. That's Memorial Weekend, May

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<v Speaker 1>twenty three, twenty four, twenty five tickets. I'm gonna sell

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<v Speaker 1>red now. Possibly a king might be opening for ten minutes.

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<v Speaker 2>You never know. Okay, all right, all right, you're listening

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<v Speaker 2>Steve Harvey Morning Show