Speaker 1: Hey, I'm Kadeen and I'm Devout and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 2: You may know us from posting funny videos with.
Speaker 1: Our voys and reading each other publicly as a.
Speaker 3: Form of therapy.
Speaker 4: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Speaker 3: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 4: Yes, sir, we are.
Speaker 2: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 2: li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 5: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 5: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 5: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 5: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 5: We about to take philosof to our whole new level.
Speaker 3: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 4: What's up Chicago? Oh? Oh my god, I love y'all.
Speaker 4: This love feels so good. Man. I love y'all.
Speaker 6: Man.
Speaker 4: Oh, oh, please, have.
Speaker 7: A seat, have a seat, Have a seat, have a seat.
Speaker 4: How A see you see me? It's something light. It's
Speaker 4: something light. You know what I'm saying. It's something light.
Speaker 4: I woke up. I woke up.
Speaker 7: I said, you know what I mean? Need to get bath.
Speaker 7: There they go you know what I'm saying. But uh
Speaker 7: see the chain walked out more with my baby got
Speaker 7: this for me, you know what I'm saying. Last birthday
Speaker 7: she pimped out on me. So hey, there's something light.
Speaker 7: Let me tell let me tell you my birthday. She
Speaker 7: wakes up right, she goes, baby, can we can?
Speaker 4: We go to the mall.
Speaker 7: I'm like, it's my birthday, but okay. She gets up first,
Speaker 7: puts on these short shorts and I was like, something's up,
Speaker 7: Something is up. She put on her Red Jordan one
Speaker 7: she loved joining a Red Jordan once.
Speaker 4: Put her freaking hair banging the point town. She was like,
Speaker 4: I'm ready. I was like, it's my birthday though, but whatever.
Speaker 7: We get to the mall, takes me in this elevator,
Speaker 7: go upstairs. It's a jeweler, and I'm like, she really
Speaker 7: wants something. This is on my birthday. This song we
Speaker 7: walk in there, dude goes, how you doing, mister Ellis,
Speaker 7: have a seat.
Speaker 4: Me by help me.
Speaker 7: So now they bought me some champagne, a whole bunch
Speaker 7: of stuff. So I'm being sophisticated now because I ain't
Speaker 7: never been in no jeweler like this, So I'm sitting there.
Speaker 7: Dude comes out with a whole bunch of Cubans, comes
Speaker 7: in and goes, get whatever you like.
Speaker 8: Man, when I tell you that night, you said pick
Speaker 8: whatever I like.
Speaker 7: And speaking of whoever I like, I know who y'all
Speaker 7: came to see.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I'm.
Speaker 7: Gonna need everybody to get back on your feet. She
Speaker 7: is the host of That Ass podcast. She is a
Speaker 7: New York Times best selling author. She is a Webbie
Speaker 7: Award winning podcaster.
Speaker 4: She is also the mom to not one, not two, not.
Speaker 9: Three, but four whole boys my best friend Decad.
Speaker 4: Chicago.
Speaker 10: Oh my goodness, wow, Yo, let me tell y'all something.
Speaker 7: We have been across the country. This has been the
Speaker 7: greatest welcome that we act in the entire country. Son,
Speaker 7: big up yourself.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Yo, it's crazy. So we're like downstak
Speaker 3: What was that all right?
Speaker 4: Sir? Yes, sir Ellice.
Speaker 1: So we're downstage right, and we get back down backstage
Speaker 1: downstairs and we can hear I.
Speaker 3: Mean give it up for DJ.
Speaker 4: Have a seat, how a suit?
Speaker 11: Yes?
Speaker 1: Had the party started way before we got here. I
Speaker 1: was trying to come out early. I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: ready to go. I heard y'all had y'all dreams you
Speaker 1: were hanging out doing a little bop.
Speaker 4: Y'all don't have funny story. I got a real funny story.
Speaker 4: Is the story time or storytime? Yet?
Speaker 7: I'm gonna take y'all back to about twenty minutes ago. Okay,
Speaker 7: So I'm gonna tell you why we started late. This
Speaker 7: is why we started late. Before every show, my stomach
Speaker 7: be like legit, and before I before I start the story,
Speaker 7: we have any handicapped people in the building, I don't
Speaker 7: think yes. I'm gonna ask you this question directly. I'm
Speaker 7: gonna ask you this question directly. Go downstairs, use the bathroom, right.
Speaker 7: I sit on a toilet. Why is the toilet seats
Speaker 7: so fucking tall?
Speaker 1: Man, y'all have to see the I don't know if
Speaker 1: y'all toilets are the same way, but the toilets are
Speaker 1: while high in our bathroom.
Speaker 4: Yo.
Speaker 7: So I'm on the toilet and I'm trying to like
Speaker 7: like be on it, and my tip toes it's like, oh,
Speaker 7: and I'm feeling like a bitch.
Speaker 4: I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 7: I'm like, I'm like straightening your toes out, like I
Speaker 7: can't be on my toes on this, so I straightened
Speaker 7: my toes out.
Speaker 4: Now my feet dangling. My feet was dangling, and when
Speaker 4: I'm not comfortable, it just won't come out. So that's
Speaker 4: what took so long.
Speaker 3: It didn't happen.
Speaker 4: It happened.
Speaker 3: Oh I had lets give a t M.
Speaker 4: I I had to put books.
Speaker 7: I had to put books at the bottom so I
Speaker 7: could put my feet on the thing.
Speaker 4: And then that's so stupid. That's why we gotta lay.
Speaker 7: I apologize though, and I washed my hands for everybody
Speaker 7: waiting for the meet and grade.
Speaker 4: I washed my hands.
Speaker 1: Shout washing taking the ship so you can tell we
Speaker 1: family off the bat.
Speaker 3: Clearly, because you know.
Speaker 1: So the best part about these shows for us is
Speaker 1: interacting with y'all.
Speaker 3: Yes, we do so much from our phones from.
Speaker 1: The house, post videos, record podcasts, but nothing means more
Speaker 1: to us than being in a space with you guys.
Speaker 1: So shout out to y'all for showing up today. I mean,
Speaker 1: we trucked out of the snow in Detroit were you'll
Speaker 1: supposed to get the part of that snowstorm or no?
Speaker 3: All right, so we praised.
Speaker 7: We want nothing to do with Chicago, not what not
Speaker 7: one bit that snow was up there like on.
Speaker 1: Wanted No Parts. Who listens to the podcast, Love y'all
Speaker 1: for that, Love.
Speaker 3: Y'all for that?
Speaker 7: And if you know the podcast, what comes after the
Speaker 7: introduction Story.
Speaker 3: Times, Story Times.
Speaker 7: So now y'all are gonna hear a story that I
Speaker 7: haven't told yet even if you listen to the podcast.
Speaker 7: It's about how I got of aseectony, got to.
Speaker 3: The balance, skipped the balls. I'm so excited about it, y'all.
Speaker 3: I'm me tell you.
Speaker 1: The first time he came home, the first time he
Speaker 1: came home and he was healed and we.
Speaker 3: Were able to do it again.
Speaker 1: You know a song I played for the first one first.
Speaker 4: That's not funny to me, that's triggering to me.
Speaker 1: You know that song I want to swing from the CHANDELI.
Speaker 3: I was swinging. That gave me the permission to be free. Baby.
Speaker 4: That's why.
Speaker 7: That's what I like the most about it. But let
Speaker 7: me tell you how she told me that we were going.
Speaker 4: To do this well.
Speaker 7: First and foremost, the reason why I decided to get
Speaker 7: of a second me because after we had Coda and
Speaker 7: he was our fourth child, Kay developed a postpartum pre clamshire.
Speaker 7: And if you know about postpartum pre Clamshire. It's you
Speaker 7: could say that again, that's a fact. It's a bit so.
Speaker 7: The doctor told us, you know, if Kadean were to
Speaker 7: get pregnant again, she might have full blown proclaimed, which
Speaker 7: could also lead to her death. Because she was hospitalized
Speaker 7: after CODA with the postpartum proclaim. Her blood pressure was
Speaker 7: high and they told her she was on the verge
Speaker 7: of getting a stroke. So after we decided we weren't
Speaker 7: gonna have any more kids, we.
Speaker 4: Tried birth control. The birth control was giving her issues.
Speaker 7: It was just like yo, yo, yo, it's my time
Speaker 7: likes as a man.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I appreciate that.
Speaker 7: I'm proud of myself and I'm glad y'all clapped for me.
Speaker 7: All right, I'm glad your clapped for me and my man.
Speaker 7: You know we both appreciate you. So when you hear this,
Speaker 7: when you hear this story, you're gonna understand why I'm
Speaker 7: so mad. You see that applause I got, Now, y'all
Speaker 7: gonna see why I was fucking fissed. My wife was
Speaker 7: so excited right I was filming. My wife was so
Speaker 7: excited that was gonna get a sect to me. She's
Speaker 7: doing all the research, looking up doctors, just sending me stuff.
Speaker 7: I don't care, all right, Like I just don't want
Speaker 7: to hear about it. Just tell me when I gotta go.
Speaker 7: One morning, I wake up, She's like, I'm like, what's up?
Speaker 7: Second rise and shine.
Speaker 4: Like, what's up? You have an appointment today? I was
Speaker 4: like for what?
Speaker 3: She was like, remember you didn't check the calendar.
Speaker 7: So okay, you did tell me to check my calendar.
Speaker 7: Never checked, never checked my calendar.
Speaker 3: Told his brother we were going to be home this weekend.
Speaker 1: So his brother's at our house, flew all the way
Speaker 1: out to Georgia.
Speaker 3: Didn't know we weren't gonna be here.
Speaker 7: Listen, he should have checked my calendar. He has people
Speaker 7: come over. I told me come over, that's not my problem.
Speaker 7: So she goes, I gotta get your sected me.
Speaker 4: I was like, damn, that's today. She's like yeah.
Speaker 7: So she had sweatpants lined up, slippers lined up school, and.
Speaker 4: We was matching. So I'm really pissed now, Like I'm like, yo, yo, no,
Speaker 4: son no no. I said, I'm not.
Speaker 7: Wearing matching pajama sets. To get it a second me,
Speaker 7: my nigga, I'm not doing that.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 3: It was your favorite color.
Speaker 1: I was trying to you comfort so you.
Speaker 4: I appreciate that for me. Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, Now you're not gonna get me to agree to that.
Speaker 4: You're not gonna give me to agree to that.
Speaker 7: So in a moment of protest, I went in my closet,
Speaker 7: got my black sweatpants.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, Wakanda forever. You know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying.
Speaker 7: I'm here with mons. So I come out dressing all black.
Speaker 7: I'm like, all right, if I'm gonna do this, I'm
Speaker 7: gonna do this on my terms. So now we go.
Speaker 7: We get into the car, right, I kid you not.
Speaker 7: Every inch closer. I got to that fucking doctor's office.
Speaker 4: Show my stomach.
Speaker 8: Mom.
Speaker 4: I told y'all about downstairs, y'all so my stomach, I said.
Speaker 7: So then we get there, and I kid you not.
Speaker 7: We pull up in the parking lot. There's like six cars, bro,
Speaker 7: every car due was a woman driving and a dude
Speaker 7: in the passage to see like this.
Speaker 3: It was like a carpool line.
Speaker 7: So I was like, I was like, Yo, this shit
Speaker 7: is wild. This is like this is like the handsmade's
Speaker 7: tail backwards, like y'all just taking all of our nuts.
Speaker 7: So I like, I can't take.
Speaker 4: This no more. Man, I'm getting out.
Speaker 7: So I get out the car first. Why because I'm
Speaker 7: gonna do this on my terms. I get out the
Speaker 7: car boom, slammed the door. I seen the other dudes
Speaker 7: start to get like.
Speaker 4: It was like, you know what, yeah, you know what
Speaker 4: I'm saying.
Speaker 7: So I walked by the from the car. I was like,
Speaker 7: let's go, so they don't jumped out the car. We
Speaker 7: walking right. Then the wife start walking behind them right.
Speaker 7: And as they get closer and they start lining up
Speaker 7: with their wives, I was like, all, y'all, motherfuckers, is
Speaker 7: matching two. So then I looked at K I felt
Speaker 7: left out. I was like, damn man, I just want
Speaker 7: them to know we married. Because it's like everybody else
Speaker 7: got their magic pajamas and I don't got my magic pajamas.
Speaker 4: See, and I didn't know that at the time.
Speaker 7: This is why when your wife tried to be of service,
Speaker 7: let your wife be of service. You know what I'm saying,
Speaker 7: Thank you, I'm glad. Y'all applauded that. Remember that applause.
Speaker 7: So now we in line. Everybody got their head down
Speaker 7: like this.
Speaker 4: All the wise.
Speaker 1: Yo, I was giving them all the wink and the
Speaker 1: gun like you know, so I know, meet me at Starbucks.
Speaker 3: We can just chat.
Speaker 4: I was doing all that.
Speaker 7: I was having a moment, and you was there trying
Speaker 7: to make friends. You want to put us on.
Speaker 3: It was a support group for us, and.
Speaker 7: It's gonna be our support group. So we get to
Speaker 7: the doctor. This is how prepared my wife was. We
Speaker 7: get to the doctor, and the doctor that says, so,
Speaker 7: I'm sure that you know you're gonna want to go
Speaker 7: to sleep. Yes, yes, put me all the way to sleep.
Speaker 3: Because you could do it locally, or you can go
Speaker 3: in generally.
Speaker 4: And sezea and I go damn.
Speaker 7: If I go to if I get to anesthesia, I
Speaker 7: can't eat like this morning, nothing like that, Cadeen goes.
Speaker 4: That's right.
Speaker 7: That's why I ain't make you nothing last night. After
Speaker 7: you smoke, I was all right, no money's for you.
Speaker 7: Eleven thirty, I did smoke. She went getting to the back.
Speaker 7: She put me to sleep, and that's why I ain't
Speaker 7: getting none to eat.
Speaker 3: One more for the road, you know. And then I
Speaker 3: don't see anything I did wrong here yet.
Speaker 4: No, No, you was definitely on service that night. You
Speaker 4: service was on service.
Speaker 7: So then I was like, dang, she had this whole
Speaker 7: thing planned out. We ain't get breakfast or nothing. When
Speaker 7: I thought about the sun. We walked right up, got
Speaker 7: in the car, and went right to the doctor's office.
Speaker 7: She was prepared. So then put me to sleep. Right,
Speaker 7: I don't remember anything. I wake up and all I
Speaker 7: remember is like the doctor like I have my knees
Speaker 7: was in the thing, and the doctor was like looking
Speaker 7: down there. And I remember waking up and just going pause.
Speaker 4: And then.
Speaker 7: Like nah nah because but but then in that moment,
Speaker 7: I had a moment of maturity.
Speaker 4: I was like, did you gotta grow up?
Speaker 7: Like like, that's the neurologist, right, like, you gotta grow up.
Speaker 3: This is what he does every day.
Speaker 7: This, yeah, let's do this every day. So I get up,
Speaker 7: I go pause. We start having a conversation. I do
Speaker 7: not remember anything we talked about.
Speaker 3: He was still coming off that anesthesian.
Speaker 7: Do you know anybody, so y'all know what it's like, Yes,
Speaker 7: I don't remember.
Speaker 1: This conversation is talking to the eurologists, and he's just like, so,
Speaker 1: you know, I've been with my nuts for a long time.
Speaker 4: Does that sound like I just want to know?
Speaker 1: So he's like I've been with my nuts for a
Speaker 1: long time. I just want to make sure they're still
Speaker 1: where they're supposed to be. And the doctor said, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been with mine too.
Speaker 3: For a long time.
Speaker 1: Like older white dude, gray hair, you know the top
Speaker 1: eurologists in Atlanta. You know, I did my research. So
Speaker 1: he was in good hands.
Speaker 3: But the biggest thing that made me cringe, what bulls? Really?
Speaker 3: I missed the possible moments. When did I say you.
Speaker 4: Got four sons? You missed the plausible moments you gonna
Speaker 4: talk about my nuts? Was in his hands bulls.
Speaker 1: But the best part about it was Deval was really
Speaker 1: trying to have this conversation with the urologists about the
Speaker 1: consistency of his ejaculation.
Speaker 3: Now, what is it going to be like? Consistency wise?
Speaker 3: And I'm like, Devo, do.
Speaker 1: Not embarrass me in front of this man. I'm like, sorry,
Speaker 1: it's the anesthesia talking. It's not him.
Speaker 3: Promise he's not.
Speaker 4: Normally like this. That was not the anesthesia talking. Lie.
Speaker 7: I was thinking about you right when you get Yes,
Speaker 7: it's a texture thing. When when when you get you
Speaker 7: you see the ladies who know those are probably other
Speaker 7: women who understand that the textures matter, and I just
Speaker 7: want to make sure that my texture.
Speaker 4: Stayed the same. And I was doing that for you, baby.
Speaker 3: To him, So let's talk about milk.
Speaker 1: You got whole milk, you got two percent, you got
Speaker 1: one percent, you got skim milk. Where do I fall
Speaker 1: into line? Now?
Speaker 4: I just wanted to know. I need you don't want
Speaker 4: to go down there one day and it's just dripping.
Speaker 12: That like jo man, it's clear? Why is my not clear?
Speaker 12: Why this is not fair? Nobody want to have clear?
Speaker 12: En man, put you on them on plate.
Speaker 1: But the doctor confirmed that nothing changed any the swimmers.
Speaker 3: There's proof. Clap him up. Nothing changed, y'all. He's still excited.
Speaker 4: Ah, thank you, thank you. You know.
Speaker 3: So I took him home.
Speaker 1: I took him home, do you know, wheeled him in
Speaker 1: his little wheelchair back to the car with the nurse,
Speaker 1: took him home, nursed him the health passing the peas.
Speaker 7: So, my trolling ass wife went and bought like ten
Speaker 7: thousand packs of peas right, and she stuffed the refrigerator
Speaker 7: in our bedroom all of.
Speaker 4: Them with peas right.
Speaker 7: And every time she come by to remind me to
Speaker 7: put my p's on, she gonna say.
Speaker 4: Past peas like you used to do past.
Speaker 3: What show is that from?
Speaker 1: It was his favorite, It was his favorite.
Speaker 3: I didn't think this whole thing out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, but he was still pissed at me after
Speaker 1: the fact because he was like, Yo, you ain't even
Speaker 1: throw me no vaseect to me party.
Speaker 3: Everybody that I know had a vaseect tom me party.
Speaker 1: I said, de bell, I'm not trying to make fun
Speaker 1: of the fact that you had this procedure done, bro, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to make light of it.
Speaker 3: It was a medical procedure, so I don't want to
Speaker 3: make fun of it. He was like, nah, because a
Speaker 3: couple of my friends.
Speaker 1: They got it done and their wife was throwing a party.
Speaker 3: You didn't throw me no party.
Speaker 1: I said, Okay, okay, there's nothing to celebrate yet until
Speaker 1: we go back to get the specimen tested to make
Speaker 1: sure nothing's still swimming.
Speaker 3: Have we gone back yet for that sample to be tested?
Speaker 1: So until then, I'm gonna stay on this pill real quick,
Speaker 1: and we have to get off this tour and little
Speaker 1: though you know, check.
Speaker 3: Your calendar because Wednesday.
Speaker 7: You see you see how you see how she's trying to.
Speaker 4: Just blaze over.
Speaker 7: Take your calendar.
Speaker 4: It's fine.
Speaker 1: Check your calendar because on Wednesday morning, first thing, I
Speaker 1: will assist you in collecting the specimen.
Speaker 3: Dry. I'm not leaving you out to dry. I will
Speaker 3: assist you.
Speaker 1: We'll go get it, you know, sample tested. It'll be
Speaker 1: a quick look under the microscope.
Speaker 4: Okay, can you get this? I need this this.
Speaker 7: She will be helping me get the specimen that is
Speaker 7: whole milk. Now, we hope Wednesday morning night, Wednesday morning back,
Speaker 7: I see that dead ass Wednesday morning.
Speaker 1: And then lets me know that everything is copasthetic. Y'all
Speaker 1: all invited to the vasectomy party.
Speaker 3: How about that we can celebrate? All right?
Speaker 1: So, like I said, the show is about y'all. You know,
Speaker 1: we got through storytime karaoke. We want to hear a
Speaker 1: little bit from you. We want to get you a
Speaker 1: little involved. Shout out to our producer.
Speaker 3: Who knows our producer's name, Trible. Unfortunately Triple could not
Speaker 3: be with us.
Speaker 1: She normally opens up the show for us and supports
Speaker 1: us through the whole process. She's supporting us from afar,
Speaker 1: so giving und to applause to Trible who's not.
Speaker 3: Feeling too well. But she is on the end and
Speaker 3: she's feeling better, and she said to give Shytown her best.
Speaker 1: Trible requested that some of you attended the show right
Speaker 1: into Dead Ass Podcast, and we decided to play a
Speaker 1: little bit of games with you guys.
Speaker 4: Okay, why cars, Well.
Speaker 3: You should have your own cards, hosts.
Speaker 4: I don't use cards.
Speaker 3: Listen.
Speaker 1: I was covering my paper in school, so you couldn't
Speaker 1: cheat off.
Speaker 3: That was you, But you lucky you cue, I'm gonna
Speaker 3: sare my paper.
Speaker 4: Stop study.
Speaker 3: That's a fact. Listen.
Speaker 1: So we decided to play a game, y'all wrote in Now,
Speaker 1: let me first of all before we go there, how
Speaker 1: many singles do.
Speaker 3: We have in the house tonight?
Speaker 1: Okay, single men, particularly any single men? There are never
Speaker 1: single men in the audience single women, let me hear
Speaker 1: from you.
Speaker 3: Listen.
Speaker 1: If I was the person into women, I would be
Speaker 1: here to find my person.
Speaker 3: Don't you think we gotta get the word for other
Speaker 3: single man to come through? That's what you're looking for.
Speaker 3: It's here. How about married couples?
Speaker 4: Yo, my man stood up. Let's go you married men?
Speaker 4: Un you see that? Because I know your struggle, baby.
Speaker 13: It ain't no struggle. How about how about any man
Speaker 13: who don't even.
Speaker 3: Know who we are.
Speaker 1: But your wife brought you out here to come see
Speaker 1: the show down right hand?
Speaker 3: How y'all are kids?
Speaker 4: I rock with you too, I rock with you.
Speaker 3: It's the matching kicks for me.
Speaker 7: Now, yup, you're gonna be getting matching for sector me.
Speaker 7: But jamas later on, baby gonna be walking in there
Speaker 7: like this.
Speaker 3: That's how we ease them in.
Speaker 4: That's how we starts with the sneakers.
Speaker 1: And anyone here with a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner
Speaker 1: not married yet.
Speaker 3: But yeah right, yeah fabulous.
Speaker 1: So chances are all these cards. I have three couples.
Speaker 1: Let's hope that your partner lets you know that they
Speaker 1: wrote in, because some people will be wild surprised when
Speaker 1: they hear their name and they hear a familiar story
Speaker 1: and they're like, you did not sign me.
Speaker 3: Up for this.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you.
Speaker 7: We've been at cities and it was just like, we're
Speaker 7: not gonna say their names. It was like, this couple
Speaker 7: met in Brooklyn. They have two sons. Won't you hear
Speaker 7: his damn shup? Come on, man, come on, sign up
Speaker 7: for this yo.
Speaker 4: I was like, God, dang, he gotta come stand next
Speaker 4: to me.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I guess so we are going to
Speaker 1: call up on these three couples.
Speaker 3: I will read the story if.
Speaker 1: It sounds familiar to you whoever wrote it in make
Speaker 1: sure you hold your partner's hand on.
Speaker 4: The way up.
Speaker 1: You're gonna be on a toilet like the now, right,
Speaker 1: all right, hold it down, now, hold it down.
Speaker 3: First couple, newlyweds.
Speaker 1: This couple has only been married for seven months, but
Speaker 1: already have survived more than most couples will. A cancer diagnosis, guys, No, seriously,
Speaker 1: a'll because I just got to the next sentence. A
Speaker 1: cancer diagnosis and a mass shooting could have been the end.
Speaker 1: But they're here today and more in love than ever.
Speaker 1: Please welcome Marquise and Taylor to the stage.
Speaker 4: Here we go.
Speaker 3: What a story, y'all. Give a big round of a
Speaker 3: pause to Marquise and so much. Come on, come on
Speaker 3: down front here. How about your brother? I'm doing so well?
Speaker 3: How are you so nice to meet you?
Speaker 7: This is the guy that was screaming come back. It's
Speaker 7: nice to meet you, bro.
Speaker 1: Y'all can go on down this way.
Speaker 3: Okay, And.
Speaker 4: They got that's what I was lying, right?
Speaker 1: Are y'all from Brooklyn originally New York?
Speaker 3: Okay? The vibe is given very New York, y'all look great.
Speaker 3: You see your wife smart man, smart man.
Speaker 7: Y'all already man matching the second? Me too, for y'all,
Speaker 7: I'll pay for it.
Speaker 4: Up in the spell.
Speaker 3: Like trying to be.
Speaker 4: You gonna cut some nuts and discounts. Will cut some nuts.
Speaker 4: You gonna cut some nuts. You gonna cut some nuts.
Speaker 4: You gonna cut some nuts.
Speaker 1: You see, the second is the best thing you ever did.
Speaker 1: He's so excited about it, y'all, so excited. All right,
Speaker 1: our next couple. How many people can say their husband
Speaker 1: waited five whole years until marriage to have sex?
Speaker 4: What that is? A strong man right there?
Speaker 3: Well this husband did no way. Now wait, it gets better,
Speaker 3: It gets better. Hear the rest of the story.
Speaker 4: Come on up, y'all, come.
Speaker 3: All right before it's nicking devout. That's it for me.
Speaker 7: Wait stop wait wait stop wait, please stop Okay, Josh.
Speaker 4: Said, these exes are here for a reason.
Speaker 7: Couple one on the axe, I was told that on
Speaker 7: follow directions. Josh got mad before the shower. Be like
Speaker 7: thee be telling the people what to do the right way.
Speaker 7: You just be all over the place. So you see
Speaker 7: me being responsible.
Speaker 4: Step two that's not my problem. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 7: Josh should have checked the calendar, and Josh said, I
Speaker 7: gotta stand right here.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't be looking down at me. Yo. Know, I've
Speaker 4: been dealing with this since college. I played with Marcus
Speaker 4: Colston six four.
Speaker 7: I played with Calvin Johnson six five, and all they
Speaker 7: used to stand over me.
Speaker 4: Who's up?
Speaker 7: Daval, Get the funk away from me? Man, anybody was
Speaker 7: sixty three years Don't you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: You're gonna patronize me.
Speaker 7: I appreciate that we're gonna be homeies before the end
Speaker 7: of the effect.
Speaker 1: So let me finish the story, because I didn't even
Speaker 1: get to get finished.
Speaker 3: Next story. Now, she slid into his DM's first.
Speaker 1: But once numbers were exchanged, look at you shooting your shot.
Speaker 1: Sis high five on that because I shot my shot too.
Speaker 3: Tell youm yagom right hold on.
Speaker 4: You say what you said just now?
Speaker 2: I said, she's seen something she liked.
Speaker 4: You see one and the same, one and the same
Speaker 4: that's it.
Speaker 3: Similar stories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But once the numbers were exchanged, you guys courted
Speaker 1: and learned how to love each other, or you actually
Speaker 1: learned how to love her.
Speaker 3: The way she expected to be loved to look at y'all.
Speaker 3: She doesn't know that, she wrote in So let's see
Speaker 3: what he thinks about this. What do you think about this?
Speaker 4: Mind blown?
Speaker 3: Well, we're happy to have y'all here, giving up for Shaman. Yes,
Speaker 3: this are some good stories.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you.
Speaker 1: We had a little struggle out in Detroit Hill, but
Speaker 1: we won't talk about that, all right, So.
Speaker 3: It's a little awkward.
Speaker 4: It was just one guy in particular. Look, we just.
Speaker 3: Cut the game short. We're like, everybody go to sleep.
Speaker 4: In fact, everybody to be happy to be.
Speaker 3: Here, all right? High school sweethearts?
Speaker 1: Who's that about to embark on a big move from
Speaker 1: Chicago down to the new.
Speaker 3: Black Hollywood, Atlanta, So we're gonna be neighbors.
Speaker 1: This couple is ready to follow their dreams, and they
Speaker 1: think what better way to see them off than in
Speaker 1: a room with another couple who made their own dreams happen.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so sweet. Give it up for Tyler and Amari.
Speaker 7: Looking couples up here.
Speaker 4: I need you to stand right.
Speaker 1: So, Josh, we're all following directions tonight. Yes, Josh, good, Josh,
Speaker 1: Josh got familiar with Josh?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 4: Josh Dave, we.
Speaker 1: Can't see, all right, We're great, all right.
Speaker 3: So we're gonna play a long game.
Speaker 14: Okay, trouble put together some black history, yep, some black
Speaker 14: history content.
Speaker 1: And I know it's March, but black history is every day,
Speaker 1: especially Alice Household, all right, so I know it's March fourth,
Speaker 1: or we're gonna keep the celebration rolling, are y'all okay
Speaker 1: with that?
Speaker 3: Okay? All right?
Speaker 1: So this first game, the first round is black history quotes.
Speaker 1: Black cinema is indeed black history, and when it comes
Speaker 1: to black movies, being able to quote them at any
Speaker 1: given time is a valuable skill because you risk getting.
Speaker 3: Your black card revoked. Baby, So let's.
Speaker 4: See how many we gotta tell them what they're gonna
Speaker 4: win though.
Speaker 3: Oh where they gonna win.
Speaker 7: If you win, you get two autographed T shirts from
Speaker 7: Dead Ass Podcasts, and.
Speaker 3: Oh that's cute, and oh the's and a drink on me. Okay,
Speaker 3: and no, that's it.
Speaker 4: That's enough. That's enough. These questions are not that hard.
Speaker 1: We hope, We hope because people were struggling in some
Speaker 1: other states.
Speaker 3: Now, so let's see how many black.
Speaker 1: Movies you've seen by testing your black movie quote knowledge.
Speaker 3: Gendaval has the questions over there. Yes, you're ready to
Speaker 3: dive in. You better cover your paper like I did.
Speaker 4: Well, excuse me, excuse me.
Speaker 1: So the way it's gonna work, it's gonna be multiple choice, right,
Speaker 1: you were gonna decide amongst yourself what the answer is?
Speaker 3: Is it one A, two B or three C.
Speaker 1: After you decide amongst yourselves, we're gonna do a countdown,
Speaker 1: and then after you hear the music finish, you guys
Speaker 1: will both either put a one finger, two fingers or
Speaker 1: three ABC understood. No cheating, y'all, don't be putting up
Speaker 1: No numbers out there either cheat for you you, no lifelines,
Speaker 1: none of that.
Speaker 7: The purpose of the game is to watch how couples communicate,
Speaker 7: especially during times of stress.
Speaker 1: That's a fact stress.
Speaker 3: Question before we dive in. Is this a judgment free zone? Fabulous?
Speaker 3: Because a dead ass podcast.
Speaker 1: One thing we want to do is make sure everyone
Speaker 1: feels comfortable and no one feels judged.
Speaker 3: What you can do is do what de vo.
Speaker 4: You can hold your judgment till you get in your car.
Speaker 3: That'll be the same space.
Speaker 7: Damn here, no judge. Everybody was nice. Their answers is great.
Speaker 7: You got your call that nigga stupid no judgments, No judgment.
Speaker 3: Question number one, take it away, Baby Players Club.
Speaker 7: In the cult classic Diamond, played by Lisa Ray, feuds
Speaker 7: with her father over wanting to go to what fictional
Speaker 7: HBCU don't scream it out. Is it a Southern tech?
Speaker 7: Is it B Atlanta A and T? Or is it
Speaker 7: C Atlanta Southern?
Speaker 4: All this this one is not easy.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna tell you. I need know to answer, y'all.
Speaker 4: Let's play think, thank take love, thank you.
Speaker 5: Gotta looking at a shot can a fish tank?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 7: All right, we gotta get We gotta get these answers
Speaker 7: back before Atlantic get I mean Chicago get turned up,
Speaker 7: all right. Every time we turned the music on, it's
Speaker 7: about to be the club in here.
Speaker 3: That's the facts. Every time this Saturday night, and I.
Speaker 7: Had a couple of drinks and I smoked, so I'll
Speaker 7: be out there with you too, like, uh.
Speaker 1: Now, all right, on account of three put your fingers
Speaker 1: out one.
Speaker 4: Two, three, Oh, y'all all got it wrong.
Speaker 7: It was a Southern.
Speaker 3: Lies lies. Y'all didn't know neither. I didn't know y'all was.
Speaker 7: Watching strip of movies back in the nineties.
Speaker 4: We know who all the freaks are now.
Speaker 3: That part reading zame books.
Speaker 1: Had no business reading zayme books, tell but was reading them?
Speaker 4: Number two.
Speaker 7: Friday, nobody better never get nothing wrong about Friday, the
Speaker 7: late great Chicago legend.
Speaker 4: Bernie mac.
Speaker 7: Play the preacher of what church in the classic movie Friday?
Speaker 7: Was it ebonez a Baptist Church? Was it seventy fourth
Speaker 7: Street Baptist Church? Or was it compting?
Speaker 6: All right?
Speaker 4: That is it for the club on account of.
Speaker 3: Three one two three two.
Speaker 7: It's seventy fourth Street Baptist Church. Because around here between
Speaker 7: a arm and knee and weston, we call this here
Speaker 7: a little twin and twin twin.
Speaker 4: Meg, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3: That was great.
Speaker 4: I love Chicago, man, I'm bringing the boys.
Speaker 3: Here, all right.
Speaker 1: So that's one point one one point one, all right?
Speaker 4: On number three, number three, love Jones.
Speaker 3: That was a good one.
Speaker 1: That all the freaks in the front, all the freaks,
Speaker 1: that was a good one.
Speaker 7: After Darius and Nina's first night hook up, Nina tells
Speaker 7: her friend Josie that his dick just talked to me.
Speaker 4: What did it say? A love me? B Nina c run.
Speaker 3: All right, all right now.
Speaker 4: Who I think they know what the answer is?
Speaker 15: There?
Speaker 4: You go, all right?
Speaker 3: One, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead?
Speaker 4: Baby?
Speaker 1: On account of three, then one, two, three, we got.
Speaker 3: Two to two.
Speaker 7: Y'all young? So y'all probably ain't even watch Love Jones?
Speaker 4: How old are y'all? Are you? Twenty two? You are
Speaker 4: you younger than the movie?
Speaker 7: That's not even fair. There was like Love Jones. Oh
Speaker 7: my god, who wrote that?
Speaker 4: He's a ray? Fucking Love Jones? I'm just can we
Speaker 4: see that on YouTube? Baby gotta watch Love Jones?
Speaker 1: Yeah right, you gotta watch Love Jones is a classic
Speaker 1: if y'all give it in home movie night.
Speaker 3: Love Jones is a class.
Speaker 7: But I don't blame you for not knowing, though, because
Speaker 7: twenty two, all right.
Speaker 4: That's the end of round one.
Speaker 3: In the lead, were they right?
Speaker 4: In the lead?
Speaker 7: It's a couple number one, okay, In second place it's
Speaker 7: a couple number two, and the last place the youngest ones,
Speaker 7: couple number three.
Speaker 1: So how about how do you feel about keeping a
Speaker 1: couple number three around just because we feel bad for
Speaker 1: them because they little babies and they didn't know.
Speaker 3: The answer to that.
Speaker 4: I'm with it, I'm with it. I'm with it.
Speaker 1: We're gonna give them grace and we're gonna let them
Speaker 1: stay for Around to that cool.
Speaker 4: Yes, all right, go ahead, baby, all right.
Speaker 3: Now, round to y'all famous black couples.
Speaker 1: So our love for black love has been a staple
Speaker 1: in black media over many years. In fact, the Ellis's
Speaker 1: Family sitcom that you see on social media, who.
Speaker 3: Shout out to the YouTube channel who watches our videos.
Speaker 1: With the boys with our babies, it was inspired by
Speaker 1: many of the black TV couples that we watched growing up.
Speaker 1: So let's see how much you know about the relationships
Speaker 1: that we saw on TV that shaped our idea of
Speaker 1: love and everything in between.
Speaker 3: You ready, all right here, baby, I'm gonna hand this
Speaker 3: over to you.
Speaker 4: I feel bad for the young couple of Game Man.
Speaker 3: She said, she said, you never know, She said, you
Speaker 3: never know?
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 3: I have faith in y'all.
Speaker 1: Okay, you got faith and worst casever take an educated yees.
Speaker 4: Side hold on. She says, you got faith.
Speaker 3: Watch this its about chance to get it right.
Speaker 7: In the classic black sitcom Good Times, this is like
Speaker 7: German to them, Gorge coovet skin Gorge covet skin times,
Speaker 7: Covet skinny. They not gonna have no idea, y'all getting
Speaker 7: drinks on me to know German?
Speaker 4: You didn't know I knew German.
Speaker 7: I had no idea learn something new every day. Watch out,
Speaker 7: you better speak to me in Germany. You like that
Speaker 7: ship right, sniff it, skimming it, drop it?
Speaker 3: So stupid shout go ahead, get me.
Speaker 7: Get back to the so y'all, y'all crazy. I'm trying
Speaker 7: to be a professional. Can I be a professional host?
Speaker 4: Guys? Please? Y'all got no faith in me?
Speaker 7: In the classic black sitcom Good Times, what are the
Speaker 7: names of J J, Michael and Thelma's parents?
Speaker 4: Is it A?
Speaker 7: Jed and Gemma Edwards, b Edda and Evan Michaels c.
Speaker 4: James and Florida Evans?
Speaker 7: All right, on the count of three, count down, baby
Speaker 7: to us, one, two, three, you.
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 7: And the best part about it is they got that
Speaker 7: with no help from the crowd at all.
Speaker 3: Not one bit.
Speaker 4: That was amazing at a bloomps line bloom.
Speaker 3: No idea how that happens?
Speaker 4: All right? In this episode of Fresh Prince of bel Air,
Speaker 4: all right, yeah we're still fucking with.
Speaker 7: Will Lamey, Yeah yeah we are. Can't cancel Will Smith.
Speaker 7: He survived a zombie apocalypse. You think you can cancel
Speaker 7: a nigga that ain't here nobody for years? Come on,
Speaker 7: and just recently escaped slavery. Did y'all go see Emancipation?
Speaker 4: Fire? That movie is fire.
Speaker 7: If you have kids of age to understand that I'm
Speaker 7: telling you this is not me joking, take them to
Speaker 7: see Emancipation and learn the story telling you Apple TV watch,
Speaker 7: It's a great movie. In the episode of Fresh Prince
Speaker 7: of bel Air, did the Earth move for you?
Speaker 4: Will? Got stuck in the basement? Sit in on a tricycle?
Speaker 4: Girl getting all my nurse?
Speaker 7: I thought she was fine, don't know with a body
Speaker 7: is hers? I guess y'all seen it on a day
Speaker 7: played by what famous actress? A Tisha Campbell B Jasmine
Speaker 7: guy see nil long?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 3: You want to give nan this one more time?
Speaker 4: Do y'all need to hear one more time? Y'all got it?
Speaker 3: I got it all right on ac count of.
Speaker 4: Three one two? Oh, okay, you say you needed one
Speaker 4: more time? Is it?
Speaker 7: A t Sha Campbell B Jasmine guy see Nia long
Speaker 7: one two?
Speaker 3: Three?
Speaker 12: Oh?
Speaker 7: Hey, hey, hey, we said no judgments. Turn the baby's
Speaker 7: eyes away, turn the baby no, no, come on, guys, don't.
Speaker 4: Do that to them their children. Can we give them
Speaker 4: around them? Applause?
Speaker 3: Please? It was Gina before gin yo, ma.
Speaker 7: I heard somebody over here and say get them before
Speaker 7: come parder here. No, no, we gotta stop that.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: I believe the children are our future. Teach them well
Speaker 3: and let them.
Speaker 4: Lead the way. Thank you.
Speaker 3: You're welcome these babies over here. Let me stay close.
Speaker 4: Cover them, please cover them. I will cover them. I
Speaker 4: will thank you.
Speaker 7: All right, last question before they get hostile in here.
Speaker 7: In season one of my favorite sitcom, y'all really know me?
Speaker 4: Huh, y'all know me. I love Martin.
Speaker 7: Shout out Marty, mam my lords, Martin gets a blast
Speaker 7: from the past from his first crush, his first grade teacher.
Speaker 4: What was her name? Ay, Miss James b Miss Trinidad.
Speaker 6: See yeah, everybody get shirts, everybody drinks.
Speaker 1: So at this point in the show, you guys can
Speaker 1: take over and ask us some questions.
Speaker 3: Okay, so don't be shy.
Speaker 1: Just make your way either to the Nora's side or
Speaker 1: to Josh's side.
Speaker 3: Come on up.
Speaker 4: See a couple of hands, then.
Speaker 3: Come on up and we'll get into this portion of
Speaker 3: the show.
Speaker 4: Give me a little yeah, jump out boys as Nike boys.
Speaker 4: I've been our coach way to me.
Speaker 11: Okay, ready, all.
Speaker 4: Right, okay, hey y'all.
Speaker 16: I'm super super sex to be here. What's super crazy
Speaker 16: is that I didn't even have to take it to
Speaker 16: come to the show today, and I waited till the
Speaker 16: very last person to get here, me and my boyfriend.
Speaker 16: I literally pulled him and said, we're coming tonight. Shout
Speaker 16: out to Miley, my girl. She was behind us and
Speaker 16: she was like, you know what you should say, and
Speaker 16: look we're here.
Speaker 3: So thank you godday.
Speaker 16: I have a really big question that I'm sure answering anine.
Speaker 4: Sorry, my brother, I know you wanted to watch the
Speaker 4: bulls tonight. He like it is some bullshit.
Speaker 16: So we met in college and so long story story,
Speaker 16: we've been together for eight years. We just got our house,
Speaker 16: but we are not married yet, and so my my lifestyle.
Speaker 7: Is it's get a pressure.
Speaker 4: What I see, I see two chips stand up behind
Speaker 4: him like this, what's up?
Speaker 15: Though?
Speaker 7: What's sure you careful over there?
Speaker 16: But like I grew up with two parent household. My
Speaker 16: parents have been together for thirty one years married and
Speaker 16: he is not. So when I went into this, I
Speaker 16: was like, Okay, I know that we came from two
Speaker 16: different backgrounds, but the one of the things that I
Speaker 16: loved about him is that he was willing to learn.
Speaker 16: So but now that we're here, what advice can you give?
Speaker 16: Mainly from a man's perspective, and I guess from one's
Speaker 16: perspective too, Like grandson, I absolutely love him, But should I.
Speaker 3: Stay that should I say I promise? No, no, I promise.
Speaker 3: That's not not quite that's a question. Wait what no.
Speaker 7: Damn Chicago Chicago. Remember we said no touchment Chicago, Chicago.
Speaker 7: She asked a question. We're going to give her an answer.
Speaker 3: Baby girl.
Speaker 7: All right, I'm gonna answer the question. I'm gonna answer
Speaker 7: the question. I'm gonna answer the question.
Speaker 16: All right, Okay, what advice would you give him to
Speaker 16: know that? Okay, I'm going as I said, we just
Speaker 16: got a house, he just got me a puppy, so
Speaker 16: we're definitely building.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 4: So this is the advice I'm going to give both.
Speaker 3: Of you together for how long is said eight years?
Speaker 7: This is the advice I'm going to give both of you.
Speaker 7: All right, remember one second were almost second people. The
Speaker 7: first advice is this timeline that You have never put
Speaker 7: a time table on God's gifts. If you say you
Speaker 7: have to get married by a certain time or you
Speaker 7: gotta get engaged at a certain time, pretty much you
Speaker 7: telling God, I have a plan, and my plan has
Speaker 7: to be this right now.
Speaker 4: That's what I'll say about that time.
Speaker 7: But I will also say this, if you're being direct
Speaker 7: and honest with him about what you require to be
Speaker 7: his girlfriend and you want to be.
Speaker 4: A wife, express that to him.
Speaker 7: He then has to decide if that's what he wants
Speaker 7: to do. There's no amount of pressure you can give
Speaker 7: him that's gonna make him want to do that. And
Speaker 7: what you can then decide to do is if you're
Speaker 7: not happy with this situation, you have every right to
Speaker 7: say I'm gonna move on to somebody else that will
Speaker 7: And that's just the truth. Don't don't put no pressure
Speaker 7: on anybody else. Don't let society put pressure on you.
Speaker 3: Don't let this audience put pressure on you.
Speaker 7: Right, my man, my man, don't let anybody put pressure
Speaker 7: on you about when you're supposed to make.
Speaker 4: That move, Because I'll tell you.
Speaker 7: Like this, we don't know if this man is like ready,
Speaker 7: but I do know this. He brought you a home
Speaker 7: that costs money, right, brought you a.
Speaker 4: Dog that costs money. Right. He's definitely investing in you.
Speaker 7: You don't know if he's saving up more money to
Speaker 7: get the ring that he wants you to have, saving
Speaker 7: money to give you the wedding that to have. And
Speaker 7: this is why I say you don't ever say shit,
Speaker 7: I leave him. You know what I'm saying, y'all, No, no, no, seriously, seriously,
Speaker 7: hold on, seriously, seriously, don't.
Speaker 4: I don't want you to feel judged because it's a
Speaker 4: fair question. How old are you twenty nine? You're still young.
Speaker 3: You were me at You're still young.
Speaker 7: Right, And we do understand that the biological clock is
Speaker 7: a real thing. So for any man to just be like,
Speaker 7: wait until I'm ready, it's unfair. But what y'all can
Speaker 7: do is have a conversation and decide when y'all already
Speaker 7: and be honest about what you want. That's the only
Speaker 7: advice I can give. I can't give you a date.
Speaker 7: I can't tell him he needs to, you know what
Speaker 7: I'm saying. Talk to each other and tell you what
Speaker 7: y'all want.
Speaker 1: Understand the timeline and the checklist, because I've been there
Speaker 1: as well too with Deval. They drug de Val and
Speaker 1: I through the mud when we had an episode where
Speaker 1: we spoke about monogamy and me telling Deval what I
Speaker 1: required from the relationship based on the same timeline I
Speaker 1: had in my head.
Speaker 3: Right, I'm approaching twenty seven, I'm like, man, I was
Speaker 3: supposed to be engaged.
Speaker 1: By now, I'm supposed to be married, have my first
Speaker 1: kid by thirty.
Speaker 3: Like, where are we going with this? You know?
Speaker 1: So every man has a plan, especially if he's intentional
Speaker 1: and purposeful about you.
Speaker 4: Okay, there you go.
Speaker 3: So trust is time. I'm babe.
Speaker 7: This time, and I could tell he's a good guy.
Speaker 7: He held the camera up the entire even with you
Speaker 7: asking that while last question. But if that was me,
Speaker 7: I'd have been luck.
Speaker 3: That's a fact.
Speaker 4: That I would have been out. Can't have been like, wait,
Speaker 4: where are you going? But he held that camera up though, Yo.
Speaker 3: Shout out to y'all. All the best to you, and
Speaker 3: congrats on the new house and the puppy.
Speaker 4: Yes, congrats.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, switch over to josh as side here. Hey, there,
Speaker 3: hell out, queen. How are you today? I am so well,
Speaker 3: I'm so happy you're here. How are you? What's your name.
Speaker 3: My name is Angela. Hi, Angela, Hi. My question is
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 16: Yes, now you've seen your dreams come true with your husband,
Speaker 16: you've seen him accomplish his career.
Speaker 3: Yes, what is your goals?
Speaker 4: Girl?
Speaker 1: I'll y'all ready, because listen, sometimes when you tell people
Speaker 1: their dreams, you have to be careful with them because
Speaker 1: you know they're not gonna hold on to it and
Speaker 1: revere you the.
Speaker 3: Same way you do. But I feel like y'all will rever.
Speaker 1: Me right I I'm actually and I'll be a little
Speaker 1: vulnerable vulnerable right now. At the end of last year,
Speaker 1: I kind of felt like I was in a place
Speaker 1: of discomfort. I felt very uncomfortable with just where I
Speaker 1: was as Kadeen, right because y'all see me as Kadeen
Speaker 1: the wife, Kadeen the mom. You know Kadin on Instagram,
Speaker 1: the content creator, podcaster. But after having Dakota, getting through
Speaker 1: that first year a little bit of postpartum I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say depression, but just getting through the kinks of postpartum,
Speaker 1: a bit of depression. I was struggling, and I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm still even now starting to figure out what
Speaker 1: it is that I want to do now. Right went
Speaker 1: to school for broadcast journalism, have my master's in speech
Speaker 1: communication and performance graduating mad.
Speaker 4: Don't sell yourself short, baby, thank you. I appreciate that.
Speaker 4: I know because I cheated off you.
Speaker 3: He changed his whole major to B.
Speaker 1: Yes, I did.
Speaker 4: Go ahead and finished.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: But I feel like I'm in a place of discomfort
Speaker 1: right now, y'all. I'm gonna be completely honest because I'm
Speaker 1: still trying to figure out what the rest of my
Speaker 1: life is going to look like.
Speaker 3: I'll be forty in December, okay, and I feel like
Speaker 3: I've invested.
Speaker 1: A large portion of my adult life into my family.
Speaker 1: So I'm trying to figure things out. And I'll be honest,
Speaker 1: I don't have it all figured out. But you know
Speaker 1: what's helping me.
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 1: Thank you because I can come and rattle off a
Speaker 1: bunch of dreams and this is what I'm doing to
Speaker 1: make it seem like I'm so busy doing all these things.
Speaker 3: And I am busy, don't get me wrong, But.
Speaker 1: I feel like that discomfort it just means that there's growth.
Speaker 1: The discomfort means that there's something on the other side.
Speaker 1: So instead of shying away from that now, y'all, I'm
Speaker 1: leaning into it. I'm leaning into it. We hit the
Speaker 1: ground running twenty twenty three. We were on a couple
Speaker 1: of daytime talk shows, Today's show, tammeron Hall. Anybody caught
Speaker 1: those episodes, and I'll share a little tidbit with you.
Speaker 1: Donorra after one of the interviews that we did, said
Speaker 1: we had a broadcast agent reach out to you or
Speaker 1: to us about you, and I was like, maybe my
Speaker 1: broadcasting dreams will come true? Maybe will I mean, can
Speaker 1: y'all see that it's giving talk shoall.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's giving radio hosts.
Speaker 1: Whatever the Good Lord has in store for me, I
Speaker 1: receive it.
Speaker 3: I'm willing to do the work now.
Speaker 1: And I have a partner, my boys, my mom, my dad,
Speaker 1: a family, a village who really just support me, y'all,
Speaker 1: you know who support me. So thank you for asking that,
Speaker 1: because far too long and far too often women kind
Speaker 1: of get lost in the shuffle of just tending to
Speaker 1: kids and tending to the husband in the house. And
Speaker 1: you know, I'm just looking forward to what's next for me.
Speaker 1: So I'm still trying to figure it out. It's a
Speaker 1: short answer, but whatever it is, I know it's going
Speaker 1: to be.
Speaker 3: In God's time.
Speaker 1: It's going to be so amazing, and I appreciate y'all
Speaker 1: always supporting.
Speaker 4: Me, for sure.
Speaker 1: I'm leaning into that discomfort y'all, and see where we
Speaker 1: end up next up.
Speaker 4: Man. No, it's just it's funny to hear you. See
Speaker 4: how you flirted with me, right, don't play with me
Speaker 4: you be pregnant. No, I can make them come back.
Speaker 4: I make all come back. Keep playing with me.
Speaker 3: You know why I picked that doctor too. That doctor
Speaker 3: was top with reversals dress in case we're feeling funky
Speaker 3: one day. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, I know you want me to get
Speaker 4: it's fair. Mm hmm. That girl is not happening. My
Speaker 4: sons will marry very nice girls. Yes, there you go.
Speaker 1: I manifesting wonderful daughters and law granddaughters, whatever whatever.
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna say this real quick though.
Speaker 7: It's funny to hear you say you don't know why
Speaker 7: actually walking in your purpose. You are a webbe award
Speaker 7: winning podcaster. You do dead ass podcast live shows. You
Speaker 7: are a talk show host. Right now, we interviewed Sterling K.
Speaker 7: Brown and Regina Hall in Atlanta. You are doing it.
Speaker 7: You're a high earner. You make a ton of money
Speaker 7: doing things that you do with your family, like your
Speaker 7: your version of life doesn't have to look like what
Speaker 7: you wanted it to look like. It's happening. It's happening.
Speaker 3: I guess I don't give myself.
Speaker 4: You don't give yourself no credit. You try to play small.
Speaker 3: It's that Jamaican in me. I got mad jobs.
Speaker 7: And trying to do mad things once and you're doing
Speaker 7: them well.
Speaker 4: And I'm gonna big your ass up. You ain't gonna
Speaker 4: be playing small.
Speaker 17: Yes, okay, Hello, I just wanted to say I'm very
Speaker 17: proud of you all. I've been a fan since you
Speaker 17: are in Brooklyn, yeah, following your kids. And I'm glad
Speaker 17: the podcast restarted because I know it had to stop
Speaker 17: for COVID.
Speaker 3: I'm not from Chicago, so I came here with friends
Speaker 3: to see you all. Thank you for that.
Speaker 4: Thank you.
Speaker 3: But my question is I look to you all as a.
Speaker 17: Successful black couple and I just want to know, as
Speaker 17: a single young black woman, what advice would you give
Speaker 17: the dating scene is really it's a struggle.
Speaker 4: Let me just say that I heard.
Speaker 3: Give to a.
Speaker 17: Single black girl in the day and scene as a
Speaker 17: single woman from the want of me.
Speaker 1: So I haven't been in this dating scene in a minute,
Speaker 1: says I don't think I hadn't really got into it.
Speaker 7: To be honest, this is the only tip I will
Speaker 7: give you pause.
Speaker 4: I gotta grow up. I can't help myself.
Speaker 7: But no, I would say this, this, This is something
Speaker 7: that most people don't ever say to women. I'm gonna
Speaker 7: say it to you, Okay, don't sit back and wait
Speaker 7: for a suitor to come and sweep you off your feet.
Speaker 7: This woman came in got me. She came and said
Speaker 7: DIVI and Brian Ellis. She gave me her phone number.
Speaker 7: I called her all summer she was working. I couldn't
Speaker 7: get in contact with her. She then came to the
Speaker 7: school and found me like she wasn't just sitting back
Speaker 7: like I'm gonna wait. No, be deliberate about what you
Speaker 7: want in life. And that's not even just about love.
Speaker 7: That's about everything, right, Like oftentimes we sit back and
Speaker 7: we just like, I hope this happens.
Speaker 4: I hope that. No, don't hope it make it.
Speaker 7: Wake up in the morning and say, I'm gonna go ahead,
Speaker 7: I'm gonna see someone. If I'm interested in that guy,
Speaker 7: I'm gonna walk up to that guy and say something
Speaker 7: to him. What's the worst he could say, I'm not interested.
Speaker 7: Don't be afraid of rejection, because all it takes is
Speaker 7: one person to fall in love with you.
Speaker 4: And make you that queen. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: That's a fact.
Speaker 4: That's it.
Speaker 7: So don't hide behind societal norms till I gotta wait.
Speaker 4: Go get it, Go get it.
Speaker 1: And in the social media age, it's so hard to navigate.
Speaker 1: I can imagine just the dating scene or trying to
Speaker 1: meet people. People's into personal communication skills suck, you know,
Speaker 1: trying to even start a conversation with someone with their
Speaker 1: attention span.
Speaker 3: It's probably you know, not even anymore.
Speaker 1: But also to one tip I can give you, and
Speaker 1: I think that it would work for me maybe if
Speaker 1: I was dating now. Is just making sure that you're
Speaker 1: showing up as your authentic self. I feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of people have this facade that they keep up,
Speaker 1: this representative of themselves, and I'm like.
Speaker 3: No, be who you are and who is for you will.
Speaker 1: Naturally find you, because the last thing you want to
Speaker 1: do is find somebody on the false sen isn't having
Speaker 1: to keep that up. The authenticity, the organic you needs
Speaker 1: to shine through. So good luck out there.
Speaker 4: Girl.
Speaker 1: Don't be afraid to shoot your shot because I shot
Speaker 1: my shot straight buckets, y'all.
Speaker 3: Curry gift, Steph Curry.
Speaker 4: Sorryboy.
Speaker 7: Jackson scored twelve points to nineties AU basketball game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, shoutut, today's game over.
Speaker 7: Now, it's over now, twelve score. I rebounds for assists,
Speaker 7: three turnovers. We're gonna clean up the turnovers, you know,
Speaker 7: don't clean up.
Speaker 3: He's still play well.
Speaker 1: He played well, he's still learning, trying to be parents
Speaker 1: and be on stage at the same time.
Speaker 3: Y'all did Cairo Cairo probably the ref No.
Speaker 7: Cairo was pissed because I wouldn't let him play tackle
Speaker 7: football and I only met him play flag football. So
Speaker 7: every week he scored six touchdowns on six carries, and
Speaker 7: when he came back, he said, this isn't even real football.
Speaker 4: He didn't celebrate.
Speaker 7: He would just score the touchdown and walk right to
Speaker 7: me and just drop the ball.
Speaker 1: Was coaching the team, so I was trying to be like,
Speaker 1: you know, he's trying to disperse the ball to different
Speaker 1: kids and they're running in the wrong direction or whatever,
Speaker 1: and Kyrol was like, why don't you just pass me
Speaker 1: the ball?
Speaker 3: I'm going to make the touchdown dad.
Speaker 7: But here's the worst part, right, I'm trying to have
Speaker 7: a moment with him, right, and I'm just like, listen,
Speaker 7: you gotta learn how to share. Other of the dads
Speaker 7: come when we start losing a are we gonna give
Speaker 7: Kyrol the ball? I'm like, they're like, we're trying to win,
Speaker 7: like my kids want to win.
Speaker 4: They're happy when they win.
Speaker 1: All right, fine, I was like, you're right, your kids
Speaker 1: eating grass over there.
Speaker 3: So ship here we are, all right, who's next?
Speaker 4: I was doing well?
Speaker 3: Low, thank you for asking? What's up? Brother?
Speaker 4: Hey? How are you doing? Jeremy? Jeremy?
Speaker 5: Hey, I just got married yesterday?
Speaker 6: Congratulations y'all married yesterday, y'all here today.
Speaker 3: I feel honored?
Speaker 4: Yes three? So okay, so.
Speaker 3: Cute advice for it's a vibe.
Speaker 7: Any advice, I would say. The biggest thing, how long
Speaker 7: y'all known each other? Y'all been together six years.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna quarius you a scorpio, so we Oh okay.
Speaker 7: So y'all, he said, realize that what.
Speaker 4: He said popping, and we'll be getting the popping kids.
Speaker 7: I would say, from this point on, right, you have
Speaker 7: to understand that everything you're gonna figure out in your
Speaker 7: life is gonna come from within these two people.
Speaker 4: We hate the term couple goals. We freaking hate it.
Speaker 7: You want to know why no couple can imitate another
Speaker 7: couple better than that couple is themselves already, so you
Speaker 7: will always fall.
Speaker 4: Short and feel inadequate.
Speaker 7: Build the life you want by talking to each other
Speaker 7: saying exactly what you want.
Speaker 4: And here's the last piece of advice.
Speaker 7: If you ask your wife how she feels about something
Speaker 7: and she's said, don't judge her about how she feels, listen, understand,
Speaker 7: try to explain why you.
Speaker 4: Did what you did, but don't judge her.
Speaker 7: If your husband tells you he feels a certain way,
Speaker 7: don't judge him about how he feels.
Speaker 4: Just say, I understand where you're coming from. This is
Speaker 4: what I meant to do.
Speaker 7: I think the first five years of our marriage we
Speaker 7: suffered a lot because every time Kate told me how
Speaker 7: she felt about it, I judged her. And what I
Speaker 7: tried to do is change her mind about how she felt.
Speaker 7: And you can't win that way. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 7: I slapped her on the leg and she's like devo.
Speaker 7: That hurts I was the guy that's trying to tell
Speaker 7: you how I slapped you here, it shouldn't hurt. That's you,
Speaker 7: you know what I'm saying, or you be liking a slap.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it depends on where it is.
Speaker 3: It's time and place for everything.
Speaker 4: Now you will get pregnant. I will. It's and we're
Speaker 4: gonna name the baby Chicago. Keep playing with me, Keep
Speaker 4: playing with me, keep.
Speaker 3: Playing with me.
Speaker 7: But no, when we started to put that in our
Speaker 7: relationship and we were together twenty years, twenty years we've
Speaker 7: been together. We just figured this out two years ago.
Speaker 7: So being married is going to take time and work.
Speaker 7: If it doesn't, if it doesn't feel the greatest after
Speaker 7: year one, year two, year three, you don't feel like
Speaker 7: abandoned ship.
Speaker 12: Nope.
Speaker 1: Our first five years were trashed, rash, right. We were
Speaker 1: like literally divorced and remarried within the marriage in the
Speaker 1: first five years or three times.
Speaker 4: Like literally it was bad.
Speaker 3: Literally.
Speaker 1: But you know what helped, and this actually helped recently
Speaker 1: because you would think that we've been together twenty years
Speaker 1: we should have everything figured out.
Speaker 3: We don't, because we're still learning.
Speaker 1: Each other on a day day basis a thing that
Speaker 1: helped change things for me and my perspective, and I'll
Speaker 1: speak to you as.
Speaker 3: A wife, a new wife at that.
Speaker 1: Deval asked me one morning going into twenty twenty one,
Speaker 1: what I think about the first thing in the morning, right?
Speaker 1: And I said, oh, when I wake up, you know,
Speaker 1: thank God for another day, and then think about what
Speaker 1: I got to do, right looking at the calendar that
Speaker 1: I look at that he doesn't look at, and it's
Speaker 1: like what I have to do for work, deadlines, kids,
Speaker 1: you know, activities, all that in between. And he was like,
Speaker 1: do you realize that you didn't mention me once? And
Speaker 1: I was like heartbroken, Like how could I not even
Speaker 1: consider my husband in my day because I just expect
Speaker 1: him and typically most black men we just expect. Now,
Speaker 1: husband's listen, right, and we just I just expect him
Speaker 1: to have everything figured out because he's the man. He's
Speaker 1: the protector, he's the provider. He's always made me feel
Speaker 1: like he's good. So if I'm not taking care of him,
Speaker 1: then how can he take care of us?
Speaker 3: So I said, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 1: And what's helped us most recently to get back to
Speaker 1: this place that we're in where we're just like so
Speaker 1: madly in love again, is just taking the time to
Speaker 1: be invested in what he needs on a day to
Speaker 1: day basis, and as simple as as just asking you
Speaker 1: what he may do and what he may need in
Speaker 1: that day.
Speaker 3: How can I make your day?
Speaker 1: Brider babe? What do you need from me today? Do
Speaker 1: you know your schedule? Like simple questions and just forward
Speaker 1: thinking the things that he may need is then freeing
Speaker 1: up time for him, but also giving him the desire
Speaker 1: to want to pour back into me. And then I
Speaker 1: am like, wow, now you're taking the time to think
Speaker 1: about me.
Speaker 3: I thought about you me.
Speaker 7: It caught the spirit. He got his hand up in
Speaker 7: the air. The doors of the church are now open.
Speaker 7: We would like to pass this play for the building
Speaker 7: of renovation for that part.
Speaker 1: But no, seriously, all that literally caused this like reciprocal
Speaker 1: effect of where we're both constantly pouring into each other.
Speaker 1: And it could be the simplest thing, but just feeling
Speaker 1: like your spouse is invested every day making that choice
Speaker 1: every day to show up for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna be all right, Ya gonna be right.
Speaker 3: Hope that helps. Congrats to y'all, y'all honeymoon and soon
Speaker 3: or not. Okay, take your time, enjoy it, enjoy it,
Speaker 3: love that. Heysis.
Speaker 18: Yeah, mister nor opinion, I'm a fan of you. I'm
Speaker 18: a fan of you too.
Speaker 1: Norah has fans to y'all, to Josh, Hey, y'all.
Speaker 3: So I don't have a relationship question. Unfortunately I don't
Speaker 3: single recoding go out here.
Speaker 18: But as a person who's recently started to really bet
Speaker 18: on themselves, like really in the past two years, what
Speaker 18: advice would you have as somebody who's I've been lucky
Speaker 18: and fortunate enough to have people who you know, do
Speaker 18: believe in me.
Speaker 3: I do have a support system.
Speaker 18: But they don't really get it. I don't really have
Speaker 18: a lot of people I can count on, even though
Speaker 18: I know I have support. What would be like your
Speaker 18: advice besides, like, you know, just push through, keep doing
Speaker 18: because you know, stopping isn't an option. But I don't
Speaker 18: want to get in my own way what you're starting.
Speaker 7: Your own business among other things.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, you.
Speaker 4: Got to be clear. I'm sorry, I don't know what
Speaker 4: the fuck are you talking about. No, no, but I'm
Speaker 4: trying to.
Speaker 7: Understand, and you, like, people don't support me, and I'm trying.
Speaker 4: To support you. But I said, you start a business
Speaker 4: and you like, maybe maybe.
Speaker 3: Not, You're trying to figure it out.
Speaker 4: I want to support you, baby, bro.
Speaker 18: I'm up here, fangirl and I'm doing the best I
Speaker 18: can look. But no, like I just started, I started
Speaker 18: my own business. I've been trying to do acting since
Speaker 18: I was like thirteen. I had my first role when
Speaker 18: I was eighteen, and it's been plugging along and stuff
Speaker 18: like that. You know, I want to, you know, build
Speaker 18: a legacy from my family.
Speaker 7: I got you. You know you're talking about purpose. Yes, yes,
Speaker 7: this is the biggest thing you gotta understand about purpose.
Speaker 7: Have a fiscal plan, right, My purpose was always to
Speaker 7: get to TV. And every time I had a dream
Speaker 7: and could Dean stop me if I'm lying my dream.
Speaker 4: Always had a plan to make money while.
Speaker 7: I'm chasing my dream so that I don't have to
Speaker 7: be a starving artist.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 7: When you have a way to generate revenue on your own,
Speaker 7: you then be able to have autonomy over your time.
Speaker 7: Make choices that are going to help you push your
Speaker 7: dream forward. You won't have to ask so many people
Speaker 7: for help.
Speaker 4: Because you support yourself.
Speaker 7: But then you'll also have time to focus on what
Speaker 7: that dream actually is.
Speaker 4: It always starts with a fiscal plan.
Speaker 7: So you have to say to yourself, like you want
Speaker 7: to act right, how can I act and be able?
Speaker 4: And this would be my thought process.
Speaker 7: If I'm your age right now, how can I act
Speaker 7: and still be able to support myself?
Speaker 4: I got to get a job. Wait a minute, If
Speaker 4: I get.
Speaker 7: A job, I have to get a job that works
Speaker 7: certain hours so that I can go to auditions.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 7: So it's like, let me figure out a trade where
Speaker 7: I can work a trade and have different type of hours.
Speaker 7: What I did was I said to Okay, I said,
Speaker 7: I studied exercise physiology and can you theology. I'm gonna
Speaker 7: get my certifications to be a trainer. If I'm a trainer,
Speaker 7: I can take my clients around my acting schedule. It
Speaker 7: allowed me an opportunity to make money while chasing my dream.
Speaker 7: Because if you don't know how to put yourself in
Speaker 7: a position to support yourself, you'll always be forced to
Speaker 7: do things you don't want to do. And if you're
Speaker 7: an actor, you're gonna get out here and somebody gonna say.
Speaker 4: To you, if you want to get on, you have
Speaker 4: to do this.
Speaker 7: And if them lights cut off tomorrow, you want to
Speaker 7: be able to walk away from something that say that's
Speaker 7: not mine anymore, just like me walking.
Speaker 4: Here to play inmate number three.
Speaker 7: Only reason why I could walk away is because at
Speaker 7: the time I owned a gym. I got my degree
Speaker 7: from HOFTRA, so I was doing a color commentary for
Speaker 7: MSG Varsity, I was doing substitute teaching and now's with
Speaker 7: Regional High School.
Speaker 4: And I just did.
Speaker 7: I made as much money and revenue as I can
Speaker 7: and I saved it so that when my time came
Speaker 7: to focus on my dream, I could do it.
Speaker 4: On my terms.
Speaker 1: Good stuff. Hope that helps it and coming out all right,
Speaker 1: Hey there, hello, there you go?
Speaker 4: Or how you doing. My name is Seanelle.
Speaker 19: I've been following you guys for a long time, so
Speaker 19: I love you.
Speaker 4: Oh we love you back, Seanell. Thank you. Honestly.
Speaker 19: My question is I have a eleven year old daughter
Speaker 19: about to turn eleven, and around the time I started
Speaker 19: following you guys, is when you was having Jackson and
Speaker 19: going through it with Kiro And I just want to
Speaker 19: ask this question as a parent because I am a
Speaker 19: single mother, but I have a great relationship with her father.
Speaker 19: Were co parent well, but lately I've been trying to
Speaker 19: balance you know, working, having her, being there for her
Speaker 19: and her activities, but still kind of getting lost within
Speaker 19: myself and kind of been into what lately, but still
Speaker 19: trying to feel like, am I keeping up with her grades?
Speaker 19: Am I doing what I'm supposed to do as a parent,
Speaker 19: but still taking care of myself. So I want to know,
Speaker 19: from y'all's perspective of having a busy schedule and being
Speaker 19: active parents, how do.
Speaker 4: You keep that balance?
Speaker 19: How are you able to feel like you're involved in
Speaker 19: your children's life making sure that they're doing what they're
Speaker 19: supposed to do, but yet just making sure your mental
Speaker 19: health is good and that you're just checking up on
Speaker 19: yourself and making sure your kids is good. Because if
Speaker 19: you're not healthy, your kids are not healthy.
Speaker 3: That is the whole fact.
Speaker 1: Actually, in the book, one of the chapters is called
Speaker 1: the Kids Ain't First, And we got a little bit
Speaker 1: of backlash from that, people like, how could your children
Speaker 1: not be first?
Speaker 3: I mean, they depend on you, you know, they came
Speaker 3: here because of you.
Speaker 1: But Deval and I realized, if we're not mentally in check,
Speaker 1: if we're just not in check as a couple, as
Speaker 1: the head of the household and the leaders, if we're
Speaker 1: not in Unison.
Speaker 3: Nothing flows. The children feel it. They're off. They can
Speaker 3: sense the energy.
Speaker 1: One time, Deval and I had an argument when Jackson
Speaker 1: was about four years old.
Speaker 3: Was it?
Speaker 1: He was five, is in kindergarten and we were arguing
Speaker 1: over something stupid. It was like the stroller or something
Speaker 1: like that. The stroller argument. And that morning Jackson was
Speaker 1: supposed to go to school and Deval took them to
Speaker 1: school and they normally have their little handshake that they
Speaker 1: do and Jackson gets out of the car, and that
Speaker 1: morning Deval just you know, said all right, you know
Speaker 1: later and kind of let Jackson go into school.
Speaker 7: We will arguing so long that we were late to school.
Speaker 7: I typically put on the radio and I'm driving in
Speaker 7: the car, listen to the radio.
Speaker 4: There was no radio one.
Speaker 7: We typically get out do our handshake that you've seen
Speaker 7: us do so many times. He get out the car,
Speaker 7: he's already late for school, and he's like, Daddy, we
Speaker 7: ain't do a handshake.
Speaker 4: I was like, just goingside the school.
Speaker 7: You late, not realizing that I was projecting all of
Speaker 7: my anger that Kadeen and I were going through on him.
Speaker 4: So then he walked into school. I took off.
Speaker 7: We went back and finished our conversation, and.
Speaker 1: We always finished our conversation and then Jackson Deval goes
Speaker 1: to pick Jackson up.
Speaker 3: From school at the end of the day.
Speaker 7: Now and every day when I picked Jackson up from school,
Speaker 7: he runs out and jumps in my arms. On this day,
Speaker 7: all the kids came out. I'm like, yohe's Jackson. He's
Speaker 7: walking out the last I'm like, yo, what's the matter, bro?
Speaker 4: He says to me, Are you still mad at me?
Speaker 4: When I tell you?
Speaker 7: I felt like the biggest piece of shit because I said,
Speaker 7: I have one job as a father, and that's to
Speaker 7: make sure that my children wake up feel like they
Speaker 7: can be the best version of themselves, go to school
Speaker 7: and be that person in school. But instead I sent
Speaker 7: my child to school wondering if his dad was mad
Speaker 7: at him. So all day he's not the best version
Speaker 7: of hisself because it's something I did. And I realized that,
Speaker 7: And it also made me realize that if I do
Speaker 7: that to my son, I probably do that to my wife.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 7: So it's like you start to learn as a parent
Speaker 7: that everything you're going through you project on your children.
Speaker 7: Even when you hide it. So I think what Kadean
Speaker 7: was saying, well, you can finish it.
Speaker 3: That was the story with the story of Honey.
Speaker 1: But I just say that to say that children feel
Speaker 1: and they know everything, and I mean it's difficult for
Speaker 1: us think about it. We've been traveling since the year started,
Speaker 1: and yesterday during the Detroit show, Deval promised Jackson that
Speaker 1: he would call him before his first game. At eight
Speaker 1: thirty pm, we were on stage in the Detroit show
Speaker 1: and we let the audience know, hey, guys, we have
Speaker 1: to FaceTime, so everybody sat quiet in the background. We
Speaker 1: facetimed him on stage in the middle of the show,
Speaker 1: just to let him know that we're there.
Speaker 3: Thank goodness for face time.
Speaker 1: Trying to be their show up for those moments, always
Speaker 1: letting them know that they're present. I don't know if
Speaker 1: your daughter has like a phone, but you know, we text.
Speaker 1: Deval and I have our own little relationship with Jackson individually,
Speaker 1: of course, but we check in all the time. We
Speaker 1: just try to constantly let them know that we're there.
Speaker 1: When we are home, we try our best to devise
Speaker 1: time or divide our time instead, so that way we're
Speaker 1: completely invested in the children.
Speaker 3: And present in that moment.
Speaker 1: So that means putting work away, putting the phones away.
Speaker 3: It's easy to get distracted.
Speaker 1: I told the story to y'all might have heard on
Speaker 1: the podcast about Cairo trying to tell me a story
Speaker 1: one day and I'm too busy trying to probably text
Speaker 1: the Nora or something that she needs, and he's telling
Speaker 1: me the story and he's like, Mommy, you're not even
Speaker 1: listening to me. You're not looking at me.
Speaker 3: And I was like, shoot, like another moment where you
Speaker 3: feel like.
Speaker 1: Crap, because it's like, damn, I'm trying to juggle all
Speaker 1: these things to make sure that everything stays afloat with
Speaker 1: work and provide this legacy that we're trying to build
Speaker 1: for our kids.
Speaker 3: The same time I'm not present from my child.
Speaker 1: So in those moments, they were teachable for us as
Speaker 1: parents to know, you know what, the kids don't necessarily
Speaker 1: come first, but they are so impressionable. They feel everything,
Speaker 1: they know everything, and we try to be very completely
Speaker 1: honest and transparent with them, let them know that we're
Speaker 1: here even when we're not. And we have a great
Speaker 1: village at home with our parents who try to just
Speaker 1: continue on what we would be doing at home with them,
Speaker 1: you know, so stick stick it out, girl, and hang tough.
Speaker 1: I know it's hard sometimes.
Speaker 4: Be honest with your daughter.
Speaker 7: She's eleven, like if she's intelligent, emotionally intelligent like Jackson is.
Speaker 7: I explain to Jackson, listen, I'm not gonna be here
Speaker 7: all the time. There's reasons why I'm not going to
Speaker 7: be here. I have to protect and provide for this family.
Speaker 7: And when you have your family, you're gonna have to
Speaker 7: make these hard decisions. Back in the day, when we
Speaker 7: was kids, our parents just hid stuff from us and
Speaker 7: they would be gone, Like my parents literally would drop
Speaker 7: us to our grandparents and go back to New York
Speaker 7: and we'd be in Tennessee for eight weeks. And they
Speaker 7: did that because they didn't have no date, no datecare,
Speaker 7: they didn't have money for it, so they.
Speaker 4: Drove us to Tennessee.
Speaker 7: We would fall asleep one night, wake up and be
Speaker 7: like and they be going on that's wild, traumatic, traumatized,
Speaker 7: and it's like, my parents literally just left me here,
Speaker 7: right and it's your grandparents, so you're still like, okay, yeah, I.
Speaker 4: Love you, but.
Speaker 7: Right part going through that made me realize i'd rather
Speaker 7: talk to my sons. So Jackson, Kyle, Kaz, we line
Speaker 7: them up. We're going away.
Speaker 4: We gotta do showing Detroit, we got do showing Chicago.
Speaker 7: This is what we're gonna do. I'm teaching them about
Speaker 7: physical responsibility. I'm like, if daddy makes this amount of money,
Speaker 7: we can do this, put this towards the mortgage. So
Speaker 7: it makes them feel included. When you make them feel included,
Speaker 7: they don't feel like they're just being left behind. Because
Speaker 7: now when I come home, my kids and how much
Speaker 7: money do you make?
Speaker 3: So how much do we get?
Speaker 4: Right, did you reach your goal? How much do mommy
Speaker 4: spending it? And he has a zel so.
Speaker 7: But but what it does is it teaches them how
Speaker 7: to be independent, yeah, you know, individuals.
Speaker 3: Because we can't always be there for them. That's another thing.
Speaker 1: Jackson had to figure some things out this weekend and
Speaker 1: that empowered him. He came out on the other side
Speaker 1: because he's like, man, mom and dad are not here
Speaker 1: to help me or be evade or assistance, So I
Speaker 1: want to have to figure this out with my coach
Speaker 1: and do my thing. And it's crazy the growth that
Speaker 1: he's had just in a weekend. We're just like, wow,
Speaker 1: it's crazy to see.
Speaker 4: Let me tell you something about Jackson.
Speaker 7: I'm calling his coach. Well, they in the same group
Speaker 7: text and this is my friend Jay. If y'all follow me,
Speaker 7: y'all know J Cole trains Jackson. J Cole sometimes be
Speaker 7: in another world. And I'm like, hey, did you guys
Speaker 7: get the calendar? This is Jackson is answering all of
Speaker 7: the questions with detail, then sending screenshots from the other
Speaker 7: coach to let us know what time we play. And
Speaker 7: when I tell you, I was so proud because I
Speaker 7: was like, here, it is my eleven year old. We're
Speaker 7: on a flight and we accidentally told our driver to
Speaker 7: come pick us up, but BT had sent us a driver.
Speaker 7: We didn't know how to get in contact with the
Speaker 7: driver because he has an Android. I text my eleven
Speaker 7: years roads, hey get in contact with black.
Speaker 4: Text black.
Speaker 7: He texted me back copy text black.
Speaker 4: Hey, yo, Black, this is Jackson.
Speaker 7: My dad and my mom got double book, but you
Speaker 7: could go back and pick triple up.
Speaker 20: Please confirm literally then literally screenshots his confirmation and sends
Speaker 20: it to Kadeen with a message that says, I knew
Speaker 20: you would get this because daddy does never checks his stuff.
Speaker 4: I was proud, like you know what I'm saying, like I.
Speaker 3: Was proud.
Speaker 4: Included you got it for sure? Got it? So good?
Speaker 3: Nice to be.
Speaker 1: Do you know how much time do we have? Only
Speaker 1: two more questions? Having such a good time. I'm sorry
Speaker 1: we couldn't get y'all, but right into listening letters. We'll
Speaker 1: get to him at the show.
Speaker 4: Hi, what's up? You know each other?
Speaker 3: Friends?
Speaker 4: Oh, that's what's up?
Speaker 21: First of all, I just wanted to say I'm super like,
Speaker 21: I'm nervous right now because I'm huge fans literally following
Speaker 21: y'all forever, like so proud, thank you. So my I'm
Speaker 21: thirteen weeks postpartum and this is night's first date night out,
Speaker 21: me and my husband.
Speaker 3: I just had twin girls.
Speaker 1: Congratulations girls, that's amazing to ground.
Speaker 21: So of course, you know, my babies are at home,
Speaker 21: and I'm like, ah, my babies. But I wanted to
Speaker 21: know I'm having like, you know, the postpartum like feeling
Speaker 21: you're sexiest, Like it's not the bos there, I got you.
Speaker 21: So what advice would you give to like me? And
Speaker 21: then to my husband? I'm like, how we can kind
Speaker 21: of get our sexy back, you know, post post post
Speaker 21: part you.
Speaker 3: Know shout out to getting the sexy dad. Yes, the
Speaker 3: biggest thing.
Speaker 1: You're thirteen weeks postpartum, girl, you ain't even seeing the
Speaker 1: half of it yet. You have to give yourself time.
Speaker 1: You have to give yourself grace. Scientifically, women do not
Speaker 1: recuperate hormonally after pregnancy until they are nine to twelve
Speaker 1: months postpartum.
Speaker 3: And that's a fact.
Speaker 1: So you not feeling super sexy, you not feeling like yourself.
Speaker 1: It's completely normal.
Speaker 3: Sis. You grew two whole human beings in your body.
Speaker 1: Baby, you're at the same damn time. You have to
Speaker 1: give yourself grace. But you know what's wonderful about what
Speaker 1: your question is. You are even asking about it because
Speaker 1: you're probably considering yourself as well as your husband. Right
Speaker 1: you want to be intimate with him again in a
Speaker 1: space where you both feel comfortable, and you particularly feel
Speaker 1: sexy after that. So I completely understand where you're coming from.
Speaker 1: The best part about it, if your husband's anything like mine,
Speaker 1: he loves me through all phases and he supports me
Speaker 1: through all phases, shapes if I'm a little more squishy
Speaker 1: than others. So if he's anything like my hubby over here,
Speaker 1: which I think he is because you're smiling big. He
Speaker 1: will give you your time, He'll give you your grace.
Speaker 1: But I know de Val can speak on the male
Speaker 1: perspective because he was always like that.
Speaker 4: Yeah I wasn't. I just didn't know any better.
Speaker 7: And no one tells you in high school or college
Speaker 7: or any point that a woman's body goes through so
Speaker 7: many physiological changes after birth. We just think that after
Speaker 7: six weeks everything is back to normal and everything goes back.
Speaker 4: So we don't know. So I would say give him
Speaker 4: some grace, But I.
Speaker 7: Also say to him, it is important for you to
Speaker 7: educate yourself about what your wife is going through.
Speaker 4: And I'll just give you this quick analogy.
Speaker 7: The most dedicated, disciplined people in the United States are
Speaker 7: Marine Corps right, Navy seals right.
Speaker 4: These are the most dedicated people.
Speaker 7: They train specifically to deal with sleep deprivation, and these
Speaker 7: are the most disciplined people. But when it comes to motherhood,
Speaker 7: we expect a mom to deal with sleep deprivation, still
Speaker 7: be a wife, still be a mom, still go to work,
Speaker 7: and it's impossible. So that feeling of your not feeling
Speaker 7: like yourself isn't just your physiological change. Is the fact
Speaker 7: that you're not sleeping, are feeding every two and a
Speaker 7: half hours, you up with two children, it's hard to
Speaker 7: feel sexy when you tired.
Speaker 4: You understand what I'm saying.
Speaker 7: So, and the only reason why I'm saying is because
Speaker 7: I want you to understand that you're not by yourself.
Speaker 4: Don't think it's just you.
Speaker 7: And I want him to understand it's not just her,
Speaker 7: because when I was young and didn't know better, I
Speaker 7: thought it.
Speaker 4: Was just my wife.
Speaker 7: Like I said, my mom had kids and went back
Speaker 7: to work and she was fine. That's the only woman
Speaker 7: I saw go through it. So I just want you
Speaker 7: to I just want to tell him that and tell
Speaker 7: you that everything you're going through right now is normal.
Speaker 4: But if you give.
Speaker 7: Yourself grace, and y'all both educate each other on what.
Speaker 4: You're going through, it's easier.
Speaker 7: To give each other grace and work together towards it
Speaker 7: if you build yourself with knowledge. So do some research,
Speaker 7: see how you can get yourself in the best, best
Speaker 7: version of yourself.
Speaker 4: But definitely give yourself grace.
Speaker 1: You're only sixteen weeks thirteen, come on, like, that's like
Speaker 1: no time.
Speaker 7: No time, that's like no time, Like I didn't bother
Speaker 7: Kadeen for like at least six months after the fourth one.
Speaker 3: That's a lie. Are you just gonna lie to the
Speaker 3: people like that?
Speaker 4: All right? I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 7: I bothered them, but she was of service to me
Speaker 7: while I was of service to her. We found ways
Speaker 7: to do it, you know what I'm saying. You know,
Speaker 7: you find ways to get it done.
Speaker 4: So but don't don't feel like something's wrong with you.
Speaker 7: And I hope he doesn't feel like something's wrong with
Speaker 7: his girl, because I definitely felt like that with the
Speaker 7: first one. By the fourth one, I was like, oh, yep,
Speaker 7: it's around that time. She's about to go apcient and too.
Speaker 7: Hey you want something to eat? Yeah, that's what it
Speaker 7: was like living with her during that time. So you
Speaker 7: shake your head yeah, because you're like, that's me right
Speaker 7: now to cry my breast leaking.
Speaker 4: I gotta go breastfeed right now.
Speaker 1: Yeah. All the best to you and your baby girls,
Speaker 1: all right, come on with night, saving the best for last.
Speaker 3: Just kidding. I love your guy, I mean, into your
Speaker 3: whole squad earlier at Nando's.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so quick.
Speaker 3: Question.
Speaker 22: I just I'm a student and I recently just took
Speaker 22: a negotiations class, and I just want to know, like,
Speaker 22: how do you both negotiate on a day to day
Speaker 22: but like partnership, like marriage, all of that, how do
Speaker 22: you negotiate?
Speaker 3: Like what what does that look like? M don't really negotiate.
Speaker 4: It's not the highway, Yeah, it's what do you need? Okay?
Speaker 4: What do I need? Okay?
Speaker 7: Literally get it done, Like when you get to this
Speaker 7: point when you out number two to one by your
Speaker 7: kids and you live with your in laws and you
Speaker 7: have to make sure Josh got his stuff done and
Speaker 7: Denor got her stuff done, and you got you got
Speaker 7: all these people that are helping you build what we're.
Speaker 4: Trying to build. I have to wake up and be
Speaker 4: directly to say, babe, what do you need today? What
Speaker 4: do you need?
Speaker 3: That alleviated so much for us.
Speaker 1: We took the thing out of it, literally and we
Speaker 1: just are like, what do you need? Be honest and
Speaker 1: upfront about what you need in real time so we
Speaker 1: can figure it out. It's been a lot smoother than
Speaker 1: having to try to tiptoe and navigate around what each
Speaker 1: other needs.
Speaker 4: For sure, and we don't.
Speaker 7: Judge when they tell us what we need. If k
Speaker 7: need time, I'll give a time. If Kate want to cuddle,
Speaker 7: I'll give a cuddle. It's just understand that your partner's
Speaker 7: saying they need something in that moment, if you can
Speaker 7: provide it. This is what you got married for, right,
Speaker 7: Your marriage is servitude and perpetuity. Like you wake up
Speaker 7: every day knowing that that person in front of me
Speaker 7: is a person I chose to provide for.
Speaker 4: So you get up and you be like, boom, what
Speaker 4: you need? All right? And if she asked me, I
Speaker 4: tell her and we just get it done.
Speaker 1: As a fat marriage is one long, never ending conversation.
Speaker 1: Y'all know what you're getting into ahead of time.
Speaker 3: And when it comes to business stuff and negotiation, we
Speaker 3: just hand it to do Nora because we don't got
Speaker 3: time for that. We handed off to do Nora.
Speaker 4: So I may ask you guys a question. Did y'all
Speaker 4: have a good time?
Speaker 3: Did y'all have a good time tonight?
Speaker 4: Because we had a great time. I appreciate that, brother,
Speaker 4: we had a great time time.
Speaker 1: I have to say, officially, of all the shows that
Speaker 1: we've ever done, Chicago, Baby, Yeah, Chicago, y'all, there's something
Speaker 1: that this night. There's something about the space that we're in.
Speaker 1: This is the fifth show, our fifth and final show
Speaker 1: for this leg of the tour that we're not thinking.
Speaker 3: We're not sure that we can even make it back
Speaker 3: the best of the last.
Speaker 1: Yes, we're not even sure if we'll be able to
Speaker 1: make it back out this year to get on tour
Speaker 1: for the summer or fall.
Speaker 3: Just because the vow is out here booking rolls and whatnot.
Speaker 7: Yes, so'll be busy a little inside. I booked the
Speaker 7: lead in the new Netflix film Coming Out. Yes, yes, so, yeah,
Speaker 7: I'm excited. That's all I can say about it. But
Speaker 7: I'm definitely very very exciting. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: So we're going straight from tour back home to spend
Speaker 1: some time with the kids real quick before he heads
Speaker 1: to Toronto, Canada. So I was looking forward to being
Speaker 1: on the beach for spring break, but we're going to
Speaker 1: be up in Toronto.
Speaker 3: So thank y'all for coming out tonight. I'm so excited.
Speaker 3: Before we let.
Speaker 7: Y'all go, so this is actually my favorite part of
Speaker 7: the show.
Speaker 4: Can everybody stand up please?
Speaker 3: Well, before we do that, we wanted to.
Speaker 1: Acknowledge someone in the crowd, someone who is so diligent
Speaker 1: when it comes to de Valeni, someone who is so
Speaker 1: invested in making sure that we not only look our best,
Speaker 1: but feel our best. She has a birthday coming up, y'all,
Speaker 1: one of our favorite pisces.
Speaker 3: Give it up to our stylish Charie Simmons. Yes, come
Speaker 3: on up, Chari, because we love our pools so so much.
Speaker 3: Everyone up there, they put into us so much. They
Speaker 3: bring over us. They have our best. So we had
Speaker 3: today show we show us some love tonight. Her birthday
Speaker 3: is on Funday.
Speaker 10: Shut up, Yes, yea need Joelapo sticking on this part.
Speaker 10: So this part right here, sticking real Knox a humble shot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, birthday.
Speaker 1: I love little birthday coming out from knock the picture
Speaker 1: birth baby, shout out to the birth We got your
Speaker 1: nol on.
Speaker 15: Here birth take, Okay, Nelly on bank looking at birth take.
Speaker 3: We got Sniley looking at the barber.
Speaker 1: Birthday, my baby fresh Jay's second birthday on the word.
Speaker 3: Do you have whot in the back, We got bend down,
Speaker 3: Sir Joshua. Where is Joshua?
Speaker 4: I want to see josh somewhere.
Speaker 3: Little bag on a birthday, give up from.
Speaker 4: Mad man in the back. We got Dasha. You don't
Speaker 4: need no love.
Speaker 3: They're all out there somewhere. We love y'all so much.
Speaker 3: Give it up for thee his birthday.
Speaker 15: I'm trying to put you back home in your birthday.
Speaker 4: Why are you not having.
Speaker 3: Birth She look back to a merch All right.
Speaker 1: Give it up.
Speaker 15: One time for the birthpay, bent two times for the birthday,
Speaker 15: bitch three times for the birthpay. Bitch fucking up a
Speaker 15: vis your birthpayer. Fucking up official birthpay. Bitch, suck it
Speaker 15: up and fish your birthpay. Bitch fucking up offs your birthpay.
Speaker 15: Bitch fucking up afs your birth pay per you a
Speaker 15: dammit and his birthday broad sucking up through the worst place.
Speaker 3: Man, y'all so much. Appreciate y'all. Teams.
Speaker 7: All right, so this is my favorite part of the
Speaker 7: show after that, because that was something else that Kay
Speaker 7: did not put on my calendar.
Speaker 4: But we love you, sure we happy birthday.
Speaker 3: We have to acknowledge our team, y'all.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 7: After season one, as a teamer, Nathan, who's played by
Speaker 7: Cam said, the value have to be one of the
Speaker 7: greatest manifestos I've ever seen in my life because everything
Speaker 7: I said, what's gonna happen, What's gonna happen? I said,
Speaker 7: We're gonna get season two happened. I said, we're gonna
Speaker 7: get twenty episodes happened. We even got renewed for season
Speaker 7: three before season two came out surprised. So what I
Speaker 7: want to do is share with y'all what I do
Speaker 7: to manifest. And I want all of us to take
Speaker 7: a moment so close your eyes. I want you to
Speaker 7: think about the biggest house you've ever seen that you
Speaker 7: want to live in. Think about the most amount of
Speaker 7: money you ever want to make. Think about that love
Speaker 7: of your life that you haven't met yet. Think about
Speaker 7: that car, that job, that career, those children, those pets,
Speaker 7: think about everything. Are you thinking about it? Can you
Speaker 7: see it? I need you to understand this. If you
Speaker 7: can see it, that means it's already happened. Open your eyes.
Speaker 7: If it's already happened, that means it's up to.
Speaker 4: You to claim it.
Speaker 3: You better go get it, y'all.
Speaker 4: Go get it, Go get it, because it's yours.
Speaker 3: We are a living, walking testimony. Yes, y'all, and thank you.
Speaker 1: So so much for your love and support over the years.
Speaker 4: Oh God, there you go. I knew he was gonna
Speaker 4: come on you, Hormona. Are you pregnant. No, Chicago has
Speaker 4: been amazing.
Speaker 7: Yeah, when I was downstairs, I had just had a
Speaker 7: drink and I could hear y'all from downs from up here,
Speaker 7: I could hear them downstairs, and I started getting this
Speaker 7: feeling in my legs and I was like in my
Speaker 7: nervous or in my high and I was a little
Speaker 7: bit scared, right, But then I realized, like, man, I
Speaker 7: ain't smoke that much. And as I walked up the
Speaker 7: stairs to get ready, my legs.
Speaker 4: Were getting heavier and heavier, and it.
Speaker 7: Was really like the love that I could feel from
Speaker 7: everybody out here.
Speaker 4: When I came out here and heard that scream y'all
Speaker 4: have no idea.
Speaker 7: I feel so invigorated to go out and do ten
Speaker 7: times more than I ever thought I was gonna do.
Speaker 1: So the day, y'all, the days that we want to stop,
Speaker 1: and the days that I'm contemplating if we should go on,
Speaker 1: and the days I want to just delete the Instagram
Speaker 1: from my phone, we have moments like this that just
Speaker 1: reassure us that we are walking.
Speaker 4: Come back, you come back. Yes.
Speaker 1: It just further gives me the confirmation that I'm walking
Speaker 1: in my purpose and whatever that looks like for.
Speaker 3: Me and for y'all. Either way, we just appreciate y'all
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 7: So one time for the one time Chicago. This is
Speaker 7: what we're gonna do with y'all. Were gonna get this
Speaker 7: video selfie with y'all. Right, I'm gonna say where we at?
Speaker 7: You're gonna say Chicago. I'm gonna say for what you
Speaker 7: gonna say?
Speaker 4: Dead Ass Podcast? Y'allready? Three? Oh?
Speaker 7: How about how about I hit the record buddy on
Speaker 7: this one. I'm talking gonna make sure I get everybody.
Speaker 7: Shout out to everybody up here. Yeah, yeah, year, shout
Speaker 7: out to everybody over here.
Speaker 4: Yeh yeh yeah. All right, where we at?
Speaker 3: Shut and what are we here for?
Speaker 4: Ut as PoCA. Dead Ass is.
Speaker 2: A production of iHeartMedia podcast Network, and it's produced by
Speaker 2: Donor Opinion and Triple Follow the podcast on social media
Speaker 2: at dead Ass the Podcast and Never miss a Thing
Speaker 2: Na