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Speaker 1: Two hopeless das one dating app, then dares you swipe right.

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Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

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Speaker 4: It's the dating game show that believes those sports kiss

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Speaker 4: cams don't go far enough. Instead, its God to our listeners,

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Speaker 4: square off to find out whose.

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Speaker 3: Love life is the most tragic.

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Speaker 4: We'll explain the rules in just a second, but first

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Speaker 4: let's meet today's contestants. You're in this corner before any

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Speaker 4: first kiss, instead of reaching for a breathman, she'll pull

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Speaker 4: a large dollop of smuckers on her tongue.

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Speaker 3: And that's why all the boys know her as grape Jelly.

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Speaker 3: Kelly thought for some.

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Speaker 5: Name is going to be Pam the jam.

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Speaker 3: And in the other corner.

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Speaker 4: Her secret to seduction is walking into the bedroom sporting

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Speaker 4: a sexy goat milk mustache.

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Speaker 3: Whew, and that's how she got.

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Speaker 4: The nickname Foamy Naomi, Hi, please.

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Speaker 5: Tell me and breaking it from a bottle and not

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Speaker 5: straight from the source.

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Speaker 4: Okay, here's how the game works. One contestant will start

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Speaker 4: by telling one of their worst date stories. The other

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Speaker 4: one try and come back and counter with the nightmare

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Speaker 4: story of their own we're going back and forth for

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Speaker 4: three rounds until we declare a winner. We're gonna get

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Speaker 4: the ball rolling with grape jelly, Kelly, let's go.

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Speaker 6: Okay. So the guy kept complimenting me on how nice

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Speaker 6: my teeth were. Oh oh yeah, and I did have

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Speaker 6: braces before, so I was like, you know what, this

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Speaker 6: is a nice compliment.

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Speaker 5: Sure, yes, for how much money your parents spent.

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Speaker 6: Absolutely yeah, So that was really nice until he asked

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Speaker 6: if I could help bite off one of his fingernails

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Speaker 6: that he couldn't get.

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Speaker 4: Oh gosh, well all that money, I mean, it's got

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Speaker 4: to go to something good.

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Speaker 3: Fingernails and that's still.

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Speaker 5: Did you do it?

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Speaker 6: Oh my god? No?

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Speaker 4: I did not not girlfriend material Kelly.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 4: He's like, phoamy, Naomi, can you beat the fingernail bite chair?

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Speaker 7: I think I can. So a guy came back to

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Speaker 7: my house, but I wanted to shower, so I asked

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Speaker 7: him to wait in bed and I get out and

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Speaker 7: see him reading through my journal.

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Speaker 2: Tried to hide it, no, not at all, and I

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Speaker 2: yelled at him and I told him like, this is personal,

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Speaker 2: and he was like, I'm so sorry, he said, I

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Speaker 2: just thought I was reading a really sad book.

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Speaker 1: Oh dear diary, wend around too, Kelly, We're back to you.

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Speaker 6: All right. I met a guy off tender who said

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Speaker 6: that he worked at the zoo, and so he was like,

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Speaker 6: you know what, let's meet at the zoo. We can

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Speaker 6: have our date there and place.

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Speaker 5: Huh.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, And so he tells me to meet him at

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Speaker 6: a specific exhibit because he wanted to show me something

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Speaker 6: beb cool, oh cool. And it turns out it was

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Speaker 6: the bad exhibit. And when I got there, he climbed

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Speaker 6: a nearby poland like he hung upside down and was like, look,

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Speaker 6: I'm a bat.

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Speaker 3: Was this date elementary school?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Were you impressed?

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Speaker 6: I mean like I wasn't really impressed. I don't even

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Speaker 6: think he worked there. So I got it, just left.

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Speaker 5: Oh so all the other employees just know him as that.

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Speaker 3: Guy date hanging. We got to keep going what you got?

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Speaker 7: So the guy I was talking to was ragging how

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Speaker 7: much he travels for work, and as if I wanted

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Speaker 7: to come along on a short day trip.

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Speaker 5: Of course, I said, yes, right, okay, that's a choice.

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Speaker 7: I meet him at his house and he pulls up

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Speaker 7: on a tandem bike me. He's an uber. Each driver

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Speaker 7: and says, if I'm willing to wear an egg extra

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Speaker 7: cooler backpack, then we can make twice the first.

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Speaker 3: Man with business sense right there. Okay, we're onto our

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Speaker 3: third and final round.

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Speaker 4: That means we need your best stories here, ladies. Kelly,

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Speaker 4: what do you got all right?

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Speaker 6: I went on a date with a guy to watch

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Speaker 6: a basketball game at a bar. His team was losing.

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Speaker 3: Ah.

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Speaker 6: He looks me dead serious in the eyes and said,

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Speaker 6: if I hook up with him right now, good luck

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Speaker 6: will happen to his team and they will win.

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Speaker 3: That's a well known fact in the sports world.

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Speaker 5: I feel like my husband still tries that.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So, how was the hook up?

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Speaker 6: Oh my god, No, of course I said, no, it

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Speaker 6: was a first date. He leaves me to chat up

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Speaker 6: a different girl, and after five minutes they walked out together.

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Speaker 5: Oh she must be a huge fan too.

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Speaker 6: I mean I did check the score later because I

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Speaker 6: was curious, and his team really did win.

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Speaker 4: You see, ladies, do your power and help out our

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Speaker 4: sports team. Thank you. Okay, we got time for the

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Speaker 4: last story, Naomi.

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Speaker 3: We need your best one.

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Speaker 7: So we went to one of those movie theaters where

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Speaker 7: they played old movie for a few dollars. Yeah, and

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Speaker 7: we saw one of the original Star Wars films.

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Speaker 3: Wo.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, and he told me I've seen it before. But

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Speaker 7: what he didn't tell me is that he yell out

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Speaker 7: every line of the movie. It was so embarrassing. But

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Speaker 7: we that's not even the kicker. He even did the

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Speaker 7: character voices and at one point he stood up to

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Speaker 7: have an imaginary lightsaber battle.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: We ended up getting kicked out.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, he was like, Luke, I am your father. But

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Speaker 6: he did all of that.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I think it's the body part he was using

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Speaker 4: as his lightsabery probably got you guys from it.

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Speaker 5: Would have been more impressive.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: That sound means the match is over. We need to

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Speaker 4: score this. Alexis, Who are you giving it to?

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Speaker 6: Kelly?

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Speaker 5: I'm still grossed out by the fingernail.

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Speaker 3: One vote for Kelly Brooklyn.

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Speaker 5: This one's so hard, but I'm going with Naomi.

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Speaker 3: Okay, we're all tied up. Jose you get the deciding

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Speaker 3: vote here.

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Speaker 4: I'm saying thanks to the lightsaber battle, Naomi. Way, that

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Speaker 4: means congratulations, Foamy. Naomi, you've seen more romantic tragedies than

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Speaker 4: a Love Island hot tub.

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Speaker 5: Ye wear that crowd, Bradley girl.

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Speaker 4: And you could be Battle of the tinder Day's Royalty

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Speaker 4: just by texting into seven eight, five nine too. If

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Speaker 4: you want to hear on the next edition, your phone

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Speaker 4: TAP's coming up next.

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Speaker 5: Brooking Jeffrey in the morning