WEBVTT - Do THIS 2 Minute Trick To Stop a Negative Spiral INSTANTLY (Overthinkers You Need to Hear This Episode!)

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<v Speaker 1>Hey everyone, It's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce

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<v Speaker 1>my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can

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<v Speaker 1>Head to Jsheddy, dop me Forward, Slash Tour and get

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<v Speaker 1>yours today when we can shift that story to instead

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<v Speaker 1>of why is this happening to me? All the way

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<v Speaker 1>through to well, what can I do about it? What

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<v Speaker 1>skill is this asking me to develop? What is this

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<v Speaker 1>reminding me that I've forgotten? What wisdom is inside of

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<v Speaker 1>this that I need to learn? As soon as you

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<v Speaker 1>shift to a solution proactive approach, you don't have the suffering.

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<v Speaker 1>You will always have the pain, you don't have to

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<v Speaker 1>suffer from it. The number one health and wellness podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>Stay Sety Jay Setty, Say, set are you still thinking

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<v Speaker 1>about something that happened last week at work and you're

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<v Speaker 1>kind of embarrassed about it? Or maybe you're waiting for

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<v Speaker 1>someone to text you and you're wondering why they haven't

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<v Speaker 1>replied for twenty four hours. Or maybe you've been on

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<v Speaker 1>a dating app recently and someone goes to you and

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<v Speaker 1>you're totally overthinking it. Overthinking, spiraling, crashing out are things

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<v Speaker 1>we do every single day. It almost feels like our

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<v Speaker 1>minds are overflowing with the same negative thought patterns all

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<v Speaker 1>the time. What do we do If you've experienced any

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<v Speaker 1>of those things before, this episode is for you. I

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<v Speaker 1>want to share with you spiritual truths that help us

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<v Speaker 1>understand how to stop overthinking and actually learn to let go.

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<v Speaker 1>The first is everything is impermanent. It's important that we

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<v Speaker 1>learn to let go gracefully. The bugwd Guita has a

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<v Speaker 1>beautiful verse two point fourteen that says, the non permanent

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<v Speaker 1>appearance of happiness and distress and their disappearance in due

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<v Speaker 1>course are like the appearance and disappearance of the winter

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<v Speaker 1>and summer seasons. They arise from sense perception, and one

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<v Speaker 1>must learn to tolerate them without being disturbed. I love

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<v Speaker 1>this verse from the bugwd guitar, and it's something that

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<v Speaker 1>I really want you to take in. When you wake

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<v Speaker 1>up in the morning and it's raining, if you let

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<v Speaker 1>that define your mood, if you overthink it, it will

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<v Speaker 1>totally ruin your day. If you wake up and you

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<v Speaker 1>only feel happy when it's sunny, it sets you up

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<v Speaker 1>for failure on a day when it's dark and it's

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<v Speaker 1>not sunny. How do we learn to tolerate this, as

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<v Speaker 1>the bugger Ghita is saying, how do we get to

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<v Speaker 1>a point where we don't overthink everything that happens around

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<v Speaker 1>us and let it affect what's happening inside of us.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to talk to you about the skill of

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<v Speaker 1>recognizing impermanence. There's a beautiful story of the farmer and

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<v Speaker 1>his son. It's a zen story that I love to share.

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<v Speaker 1>While the son is wondering the land, he comes across

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<v Speaker 1>a horse. He's able to ride this horse back, and

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<v Speaker 1>they have a great sense of compatibility, and he brings

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<v Speaker 1>the horse back home. All the villagers gather around and

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<v Speaker 1>they say to the father, this is amazing, what great

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<v Speaker 1>news your son has this horse? And the father replies,

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<v Speaker 1>good thing, bad thing, who knows. The Next day, when

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<v Speaker 1>the son is riding the horse, the horse has a

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<v Speaker 1>slight trip and an accident and knocks the son off,

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<v Speaker 1>and the sun breaks his leg. The villagers gather around

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<v Speaker 1>and say, oh no, this is the worst thing that

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<v Speaker 1>could have happened. This is so terrible. You should have

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<v Speaker 1>never let the horse come back. The farmer says, good thing,

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<v Speaker 1>bad thing, who knows a few months later, while the

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<v Speaker 1>boy is still healing, every single man in this village

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<v Speaker 1>is recruited to join the army apart from the sun

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<v Speaker 1>because of his broken leg. The villagers gather and say,

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<v Speaker 1>you're so lucky, you're so fortunate. This is the best

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<v Speaker 1>thing that could have happened. The father replies, good thing,

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<v Speaker 1>bad thing, who knows? And of course the story goes on.

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<v Speaker 1>What this story teaches us is not that we want

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<v Speaker 1>bad things to happen to us, or it's not that

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<v Speaker 1>we want negative things to happen to anyone, but that

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<v Speaker 1>we've realize that all of these things are impermanent. They're

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<v Speaker 1>not going to last forever. They're ephemeral. A sunny day

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't last forever, and a rainy day doesn't last forever.

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<v Speaker 1>These things come and go like the seasons. This is

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<v Speaker 1>what we have to learn. We learn to let go

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<v Speaker 1>when we're prepared for this season. If you know it's

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<v Speaker 1>going to rain, but you've got your rain boots and

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<v Speaker 1>you've got your umbrella, it doesn't matter. You're prepared. If

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<v Speaker 1>you know it's going to be really hot out and

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<v Speaker 1>you've got your flip flops and your sunscreen, you're prepared.

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<v Speaker 1>Letting go isn't about doing nothing. It's about focusing on

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<v Speaker 1>what you can prepare. Letting go is not the act

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<v Speaker 1>of not being worried or not worrying about the consequences,

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<v Speaker 1>or not thinking about what's going to happen. Letting go

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<v Speaker 1>is being proactive and preparing in the way that you can.

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<v Speaker 1>Whatever season is going to come your way, do you

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<v Speaker 1>have the appropriate clothing in your closet? Whatever season is

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<v Speaker 1>going to come your way, is your mind prepared to

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<v Speaker 1>deal with it? Let us remember that both good and

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<v Speaker 1>bad experiences are both impermanent. Now, let's say that you

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<v Speaker 1>feel the same thought spiral in your mind every single day.

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<v Speaker 1>The same things trigger you, block you, and slow you down.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you do about it? The first piece of

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<v Speaker 1>wisdom is getting the thought out of your head and

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<v Speaker 1>onto a page. It's really hard to filter thoughts while

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<v Speaker 1>they're spiraling and circling around your mind. When you actually

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<v Speaker 1>write down how you're feeling, you're extracting that emotion from

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<v Speaker 1>within yourself and taking it into a place that you

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<v Speaker 1>can get tactile with it. If a thought's outside of

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<v Speaker 1>your head, you can now actually do something with it.

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<v Speaker 1>One of the things that's recommended is either ripping it

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<v Speaker 1>up and discarding of it, potentially even burning it to

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<v Speaker 1>really let go of it, or allowing yourself to throw

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<v Speaker 1>it into the trash. Now you may think these are

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<v Speaker 1>woo woo ideas, but actually the Nagoya University study in

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<v Speaker 1>twenty twenty four found that participants who wrote down their

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<v Speaker 1>angry thoughts and then shredded or discarded the paper experienced

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<v Speaker 1>a significant reduction in anger. In contrast, those who kept

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<v Speaker 1>the paper saw only a minor decrease in anger levels.

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<v Speaker 1>The act of physically disposing of the paper played a

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<v Speaker 1>crucial role in alleviating negative emotions. Think about that for

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<v Speaker 1>a second. The act of writing something down and discarding

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<v Speaker 1>of that paper, ripping it up, throwing it in the

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<v Speaker 1>trash burning it actually starts to free you from that

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<v Speaker 1>emotional experience. It's mind blowing to even think about it.

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<v Speaker 1>And did you notice what I said there in the study.

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<v Speaker 1>If you hold on to it like a journal, or

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<v Speaker 1>even keep it around, it actually doesn't have the same impact.

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<v Speaker 1>Another example is the Ohio State University research from twenty twelve.

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<v Speaker 1>A study published in Psychological Science demonstrated that individuals who

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<v Speaker 1>wrote down their negative thoughts and then threw the paper

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<v Speaker 1>away were more likely to mentally discard those thoughts. Conversely,

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<v Speaker 1>those who kept the paper were more likely to dwell

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<v Speaker 1>on the negative content. So it's not just about writing

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<v Speaker 1>it down, it also is about releasing it. Studies show

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<v Speaker 1>that burning photographs of an ex partner can serve as

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<v Speaker 1>a powerful symbolic act to facilitate emotional release and closure

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<v Speaker 1>after a breakup. This is from a study that I

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<v Speaker 1>read in PMC. How many of you have held on

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<v Speaker 1>to things that you're gave you? How many of you

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<v Speaker 1>have kept in a shoe box, letters, mementos, gifts from

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<v Speaker 1>an ex partner because there's a part of you that

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<v Speaker 1>stills connected to them. Burn it, let it go, discard it.

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<v Speaker 1>If you truly want to release someone from your life,

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<v Speaker 1>release items, memories, and things like that physically actually let

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<v Speaker 1>it go in order to mentally let it go. Another

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<v Speaker 1>study from research Gate that analyzed personal grief rituals found

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<v Speaker 1>that symbolic actions, including the disposal of objects through elements

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<v Speaker 1>like fire, support emotional healing by providing a tangible method

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<v Speaker 1>to express and release complex feelings. I remember when I

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<v Speaker 1>interviewed Nessa Barrett on my podcast on Purpose, and she

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<v Speaker 1>had this song called burn box, this idea of really

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<v Speaker 1>being able to release something. Next time you find a

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<v Speaker 1>thought appearing in your mind every single day, I want

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<v Speaker 1>you to write it down on a piece of paper.

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<v Speaker 1>I want you to rip it up. I want you

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<v Speaker 1>to shred it. I want you to put it in

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<v Speaker 1>the fire, burn it and let it go, and see

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<v Speaker 1>how you feel lighter and liberated from that weight. Spiritual

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<v Speaker 1>truth number two. We all have heard that your inner

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<v Speaker 1>world shapes your outer reality, but there's an even more

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<v Speaker 1>hidden truth here. Your outer reality shapes your inner world.

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<v Speaker 1>If you feel like you're overthinking, clean that closet, tidy

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<v Speaker 1>that cupboard, reorganize your desk. The practical act of cleaning, tidying,

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<v Speaker 1>or reorganizing literally cleans and orders your mind. Waking up

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<v Speaker 1>to zero clutter frees you from the stress you feel

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<v Speaker 1>when you see unwashed dishes, or that messy desk, or

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<v Speaker 1>that piece of art on your wall that is slightly

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<v Speaker 1>off center. It's fascinating to me how many of us

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<v Speaker 1>are hoping to have a peaceful mind in a chaotic

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<v Speaker 1>living room, a peaceful mind in a messy kitchen, a

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<v Speaker 1>peaceful mind in a disorganized bedroom. And it's actually the

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<v Speaker 1>act of decluttering. It's not just walking into a clean

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<v Speaker 1>space when you start cleaning, When you start organizing, it's

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<v Speaker 1>almost like you're filing away files in your mind. Have

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<v Speaker 1>you ever felt like you have too many tabs open

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<v Speaker 1>on your laptop? Imagine how many tabs are open in

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<v Speaker 1>your mind. When you start to clean up the tabs

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<v Speaker 1>on your laptop, the tabs on your screen, all of

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<v Speaker 1>a sudden, you start to mentally declutter. Now, let's look

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<v Speaker 1>at the research on this clutter affects your mind. The

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<v Speaker 1>first way is cognitive overload. Clutter competes for your attention,

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<v Speaker 1>leading to cognitive overload. This constant visual distraction can impair

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<v Speaker 1>your ability to focus and process information. A study using

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<v Speaker 1>fMRI scans found that Individuals in organized environments were better

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<v Speaker 1>able to concentrate and process information compared to those in

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<v Speaker 1>cluttered spaces. Clear your space to clear your mind. Clean

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<v Speaker 1>that closet, clean the table, wash the dishes, put away

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<v Speaker 1>your clothes, and see how your mind starts to feel

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<v Speaker 1>more creative, more productive, boost your energy. It may feel

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<v Speaker 1>like a chore and a task, but it's something that

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<v Speaker 1>will actually heal you. I couldn't be more excited to

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<v Speaker 1>that clutter affects us is that it actually elevates our

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<v Speaker 1>stress hormones. Research indicates that individuals, particularly women, who perceive

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<v Speaker 1>their homes as cluttered, have higher levels of cortisol, the

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<v Speaker 1>stress hormone. If you want to start reducing your daily stress,

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<v Speaker 1>start by organizing your home. Start by putting things in

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<v Speaker 1>their place. One of the things I like to think

0:14:37.280 --> 0:14:40.760
<v Speaker 1>about is how my home can be like a home hotel.

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<v Speaker 1>What I mean by that is I want my home

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<v Speaker 1>to have the warmth of a home, the comfort of

0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:49.320
<v Speaker 1>a home, but I wanted to have the organization of

0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:51.800
<v Speaker 1>a hotel. Have you ever noticed when you go into

0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.000
<v Speaker 1>a hotel, the hair dryer is in one of the drawers,

0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:59.120
<v Speaker 1>The ironing board is in the same place, the steamer,

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<v Speaker 1>whatever it may be, everything has a place. Start by

0:15:03.120 --> 0:15:06.600
<v Speaker 1>figuring out what deserves a place in your home and

0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:10.680
<v Speaker 1>what that place is. One of my favorite exercises from

0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:15.520
<v Speaker 1>Marie Condo was this idea of items that spark joy.

0:15:16.440 --> 0:15:19.520
<v Speaker 1>What's the first thing you see in the morning. Is

0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:22.360
<v Speaker 1>it a messy desk or is it a picture of

0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:26.240
<v Speaker 1>your family that makes you feel happy. What's the first

0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:29.080
<v Speaker 1>thing in the morning is it the dishes that haven't

0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:31.800
<v Speaker 1>been done from last night, or is it a piece

0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:35.520
<v Speaker 1>of art that inspires you. What's the first thing you

0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.720
<v Speaker 1>see when you get back from work? Is it a

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:43.680
<v Speaker 1>disorganized cupboard or is it a closet that has everything

0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:48.320
<v Speaker 1>in the right place. When you change what you see

0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.440
<v Speaker 1>first thing in the morning, first thing when you come

0:15:51.480 --> 0:15:54.520
<v Speaker 1>back from work, and last thing before you go to bed,

0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:58.640
<v Speaker 1>you transform your day. And the third reason why this

0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:02.960
<v Speaker 1>is so important is a cluttered bedroom can negatively impact

0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:06.880
<v Speaker 1>sleep quality. Studies have shown that people sleeping in cluttered

0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:12.120
<v Speaker 1>rooms are more likely to experience sleep disturbances, including difficulty

0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.360
<v Speaker 1>falling asleep and staying asleep. So, if you're one of

0:16:15.360 --> 0:16:18.560
<v Speaker 1>those people that's just been struggling to fall asleep, to

0:16:18.560 --> 0:16:21.080
<v Speaker 1>get a good night's sleep, to get into rem sleep,

0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:24.360
<v Speaker 1>and you're wondering, why is it. I'm eating early, I'm

0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:27.440
<v Speaker 1>trying to work out, i am tired. It could be

0:16:27.560 --> 0:16:31.720
<v Speaker 1>the clutter in your bedroom. Let it go. And one

0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.680
<v Speaker 1>thing that we often overlook is clutter is connected to

0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:41.120
<v Speaker 1>emotional well being. Clutters associated with negative emotions such as confusion, tension,

0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:46.720
<v Speaker 1>and irritability. And conversely, an organized home can promote feelings

0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:50.320
<v Speaker 1>of calmness and a sense of well being. Here's what

0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:52.120
<v Speaker 1>I want you to do. I don't want you to

0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:55.160
<v Speaker 1>feel guilty if your home is messy. Mine is too.

0:16:55.640 --> 0:16:58.240
<v Speaker 1>I don't need you to feel shame if your cupboards

0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:03.200
<v Speaker 1>are not organized, need work too. Here are the practical steps.

0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:08.920
<v Speaker 1>Number one, start small, Tackle one area at a time.

0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:11.600
<v Speaker 1>You don't need to fix your whole home this week.

0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:17.160
<v Speaker 1>Pick one area, one draw, one corner of a room

0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:21.080
<v Speaker 1>to focus on this week. It literally could be one draw.

0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:23.159
<v Speaker 1>It could be the kitchen car that you open up

0:17:23.200 --> 0:17:26.000
<v Speaker 1>every day, could be a refrigerator that you open up

0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:31.439
<v Speaker 1>every morning. Just start with one place. Second step is

0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:36.600
<v Speaker 1>set a timer. Dedicate thirty minutes of your week to

0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:39.439
<v Speaker 1>clean that space. You've got thirty minutes to do it.

0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:41.960
<v Speaker 1>Make it a task, Make it an experiment, make it

0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:45.000
<v Speaker 1>almost a challenge. Can I get this done in thirty minutes?

0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:48.199
<v Speaker 1>Can I get this done in sixty minutes? Setting a

0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.800
<v Speaker 1>timer gives you a sense of not only making it

0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.719
<v Speaker 1>more manageable, but you can be competitive with it, can

0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:56.399
<v Speaker 1>almost turn it into a game. And the third step

0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:59.639
<v Speaker 1>is when you do that, create spaces for each of

0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.120
<v Speaker 1>the idea, a place where the milk goes, a place

0:18:02.119 --> 0:18:04.399
<v Speaker 1>where the bread goes, a place where everything else goes.

0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:07.520
<v Speaker 1>Be really clear so that you can actually stick to it.

0:18:08.480 --> 0:18:12.520
<v Speaker 1>Spiritual truth number three that will stop you from overthinking

0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:18.000
<v Speaker 1>is one of my favorite Buddhist teachings is pain is inevitable,

0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:24.639
<v Speaker 1>but suffering is optional. Pain is a reality. Suffering is

0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:28.960
<v Speaker 1>the story we create around it. In Buddhism, there's a

0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:34.840
<v Speaker 1>powerful story called the Two Arrows. Imagine you're struck by

0:18:34.840 --> 0:18:41.399
<v Speaker 1>an arrow. This arrow represents pain and it's unavoidable. Throughout

0:18:41.440 --> 0:18:45.200
<v Speaker 1>our days, throughout our weeks, We'll have so many arrows

0:18:45.440 --> 0:18:50.320
<v Speaker 1>thrown at us. But if you react by lamenting, blaming,

0:18:50.520 --> 0:18:55.480
<v Speaker 1>or agonizing over why you are struck, it's like shooting

0:18:55.520 --> 0:19:02.680
<v Speaker 1>yourself with a second arrow. This second hour symbolizes your suffering.

0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:08.680
<v Speaker 1>It's entirely optional, created by your reaction. This story shows

0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:11.480
<v Speaker 1>us that we can't avoid pain in life. There's always

0:19:11.560 --> 0:19:16.000
<v Speaker 1>going to be sorrow, stress, and pressure. But the story

0:19:16.040 --> 0:19:19.679
<v Speaker 1>we create around it and how we react to it

0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:23.840
<v Speaker 1>turns it into progress or suffering. A lot of our

0:19:23.920 --> 0:19:28.080
<v Speaker 1>overthinking is all about why did this happen to me?

0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:30.800
<v Speaker 1>Who did this to me? Why would they do that

0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:34.360
<v Speaker 1>to me? And while those are important questions, and I'm

0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:38.000
<v Speaker 1>not saying to shun them away or hide from them,

0:19:38.400 --> 0:19:41.679
<v Speaker 1>but we've got to move forward from them because otherwise

0:19:42.040 --> 0:19:45.800
<v Speaker 1>that arrow stays inside of us, and that second arrow

0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:50.040
<v Speaker 1>penetrates even deeper when we can shift that story to

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.960
<v Speaker 1>instead of why is this happening to me? All the

0:19:53.000 --> 0:19:55.120
<v Speaker 1>way through to well what can I do about it?

0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:58.560
<v Speaker 1>What skill is this asking me to develop? What is

0:19:58.600 --> 0:20:02.680
<v Speaker 1>this reminding me that I've forgotten? What wisdom is inside

0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:06.000
<v Speaker 1>of this that I need to learn. As soon as

0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:10.439
<v Speaker 1>you shift to a solution proactive approach, you don't have

0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:14.000
<v Speaker 1>the suffering. You will always have the pain, you don't

0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:16.480
<v Speaker 1>have to suffer from it. I want to share with

0:20:16.560 --> 0:20:19.680
<v Speaker 1>you insights from a study on acceptance and emotional pain.

0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:24.440
<v Speaker 1>Research published in the Clinical Psychology Review in twenty sixteen

0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:32.159
<v Speaker 1>shows acceptance strategies significantly reduced emotional suffering. Participants who learned

0:20:32.280 --> 0:20:37.920
<v Speaker 1>acceptance and mindfulness techniques reported in nearly fifty percent reduction

0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:42.840
<v Speaker 1>in emotional distress and a stronger ability to cope effectively

0:20:43.440 --> 0:20:46.840
<v Speaker 1>compared to those resisting or trying to avoid that pain.

0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:50.280
<v Speaker 1>Just think about for a second. When you're trying to

0:20:50.440 --> 0:20:55.919
<v Speaker 1>avoid pain, you actually accumulate more of it. When you

0:20:56.000 --> 0:21:01.240
<v Speaker 1>learn to accept pain, you can actually release your from it.

0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:04.000
<v Speaker 1>It's almost counterintuitive if you think about it. When you

0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:07.200
<v Speaker 1>try to avoid pain, you actually think more about the pain.

0:21:07.880 --> 0:21:10.920
<v Speaker 1>When you accept the pain, you actually have the ability

0:21:10.960 --> 0:21:13.520
<v Speaker 1>to move forward and move on. I want to give

0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:15.960
<v Speaker 1>you a two step method to help you do that.

0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:21.240
<v Speaker 1>Step one is stop and interrupt the story. When you

0:21:21.320 --> 0:21:27.359
<v Speaker 1>feel overwhelmed by negative emotions, visualize a bold mental red

0:21:27.800 --> 0:21:32.200
<v Speaker 1>stop sign, and you can even say it out loud stop.

0:21:33.160 --> 0:21:36.840
<v Speaker 1>What is the psychological benefit of this It activates the

0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:43.840
<v Speaker 1>prefrontal cortex, interrupting automatic emotional reactions and giving you mental space.

0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:49.880
<v Speaker 1>Usually we have no space between what we experience and

0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:54.000
<v Speaker 1>how we react. When you visualize a stop sign, when

0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:56.960
<v Speaker 1>you even say it out loud to your mind, stop,

0:21:57.520 --> 0:22:02.800
<v Speaker 1>you actually create space for you to react. Step two

0:22:03.600 --> 0:22:08.480
<v Speaker 1>is shift. Shift your mind immediately into a solution oriented

0:22:08.560 --> 0:22:15.640
<v Speaker 1>state by asking powerful, reframing questions, For example, what's one

0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:20.040
<v Speaker 1>helpful thing I can do right now? How can I

0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:24.439
<v Speaker 1>see this as an opportunity or learning experience? And my

0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:29.119
<v Speaker 1>personal favorite, if I wasn't feeling upset, how would I

0:22:29.160 --> 0:22:33.880
<v Speaker 1>respond differently? I love that third one because when we're upset,

0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:37.880
<v Speaker 1>we often always respond poorly to a situation. How many

0:22:37.880 --> 0:22:39.800
<v Speaker 1>times have you said something you didn't want to say

0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:43.480
<v Speaker 1>because you were upset and later regretted it. How many

0:22:43.560 --> 0:22:45.520
<v Speaker 1>times have you done something you didn't want to do

0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:49.639
<v Speaker 1>because you were upset, only to realize later that you

0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:53.159
<v Speaker 1>wish you held back. You can create that space in

0:22:53.200 --> 0:22:57.359
<v Speaker 1>the moment when you stop and shift. The next spiritual

0:22:57.400 --> 0:23:00.960
<v Speaker 1>principle that can stop you from overthinking is another one

0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:03.840
<v Speaker 1>from the Bugger Ghita, where it says the mind can

0:23:03.880 --> 0:23:08.359
<v Speaker 1>be your best friend or your worst enemy. Have you

0:23:08.400 --> 0:23:11.040
<v Speaker 1>ever felt that a lot of your time is spent

0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:16.360
<v Speaker 1>fighting people in your head? In your mind, you're literally

0:23:16.520 --> 0:23:21.600
<v Speaker 1>running play by play every conversation you might have with someone.

0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:23.920
<v Speaker 1>You want to raise an argument, you want to solve

0:23:23.960 --> 0:23:27.320
<v Speaker 1>a discussion, you want to confront someone, And often we

0:23:27.400 --> 0:23:30.159
<v Speaker 1>do none of that in reality. We do it all

0:23:30.320 --> 0:23:35.480
<v Speaker 1>in our mind. When you realize that having difficult conversations

0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:41.639
<v Speaker 1>in reality actually solves the overthinking you do in your mind,

0:23:42.480 --> 0:23:46.400
<v Speaker 1>you're free from it. If there's someone that has been

0:23:47.080 --> 0:23:51.800
<v Speaker 1>annoying you, frustrating you, causing you concern, and you feel

0:23:51.840 --> 0:23:55.760
<v Speaker 1>constantly triggered by them, it's great to write down your thoughts,

0:23:56.520 --> 0:24:00.479
<v Speaker 1>organize them, and then have that conversation in real It

0:24:00.520 --> 0:24:07.280
<v Speaker 1>will save you weeks of complaining, comparing, criticizing, venting, which

0:24:07.320 --> 0:24:10.560
<v Speaker 1>we can do again and again and again about the

0:24:10.600 --> 0:24:15.159
<v Speaker 1>same person. Let it go and move on. The final

0:24:15.200 --> 0:24:18.960
<v Speaker 1>spiritual truth I wanted to share with you is don't

0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:22.240
<v Speaker 1>delay what can be done today. How many of you

0:24:22.280 --> 0:24:25.239
<v Speaker 1>put off replying to that message because you're scared of

0:24:25.280 --> 0:24:29.520
<v Speaker 1>confrontation or a disagreement, But then forget to reply at all.

0:24:30.200 --> 0:24:32.760
<v Speaker 1>How many of you keep saying next week will be

0:24:32.840 --> 0:24:35.560
<v Speaker 1>the week that I start to take on that new habit.

0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:42.480
<v Speaker 1>We're constantly postponing and delaying what can be done today.

0:24:42.600 --> 0:24:46.880
<v Speaker 1>You can change your life by one decision, one choice,

0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:51.199
<v Speaker 1>and one moment if you simply do today what doesn't

0:24:51.240 --> 0:24:54.040
<v Speaker 1>need to be delayed. One of the biggest things I

0:24:54.119 --> 0:24:56.920
<v Speaker 1>see is when we don't want to let someone down.

0:24:57.480 --> 0:24:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Someone invites you to something and you put off the

0:25:00.119 --> 0:25:03.000
<v Speaker 1>RSVP to the last minute. You know you didn't want

0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:04.919
<v Speaker 1>to go, but you wait till the night before or

0:25:04.960 --> 0:25:09.919
<v Speaker 1>the moment before. Now that person's upset. Right, the truth

0:25:10.040 --> 0:25:16.639
<v Speaker 1>is true kindness lies in clarity of intention, not silence

0:25:16.760 --> 0:25:20.560
<v Speaker 1>out of fear. When you're tempted not to respond for

0:25:20.720 --> 0:25:27.240
<v Speaker 1>fear of disappointing someone, remember that compassion isn't about avoiding discomfort.

0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:31.600
<v Speaker 1>It's about expressing your truth with grace. If you don't

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:34.520
<v Speaker 1>message someone back because you don't want to let them down,

0:25:35.240 --> 0:25:38.160
<v Speaker 1>you just let them down by not messaging them back.

0:25:38.680 --> 0:25:41.600
<v Speaker 1>Chances are you messaging them last minute is going to

0:25:41.680 --> 0:25:45.680
<v Speaker 1>let them down even more than if you explained how

0:25:45.720 --> 0:25:50.040
<v Speaker 1>you felt weeks before. When you receive the message, don't

0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:54.440
<v Speaker 1>let the fear of letting someone down block you from

0:25:54.440 --> 0:26:01.479
<v Speaker 1>communicating your truth. Communicate your reasons honestly, yeah gently. This

0:26:01.720 --> 0:26:07.480
<v Speaker 1>works because your clarity transforms misunderstanding into deeper connection. It

0:26:07.520 --> 0:26:12.840
<v Speaker 1>shifts the focus from rejection to mutual respect and authenticity.

0:26:13.520 --> 0:26:16.600
<v Speaker 1>I hope that these spiritual truths make a difference in

0:26:16.640 --> 0:26:20.359
<v Speaker 1>your life and help you stop overthinking. I hope that

0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:23.080
<v Speaker 1>you will listen to this again, make notes, try out

0:26:23.080 --> 0:26:26.080
<v Speaker 1>some of the exercises, and watch how your life changes.

0:26:26.920 --> 0:26:30.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm Jay Sheddy. Thank you for listening on purpose, and

0:26:30.160 --> 0:26:33.359
<v Speaker 1>remember I'm forever in your corner and I'm always rooting

0:26:33.359 --> 0:26:36.919
<v Speaker 1>for you. If you love this episode, you'll really enjoy

0:26:37.080 --> 0:26:41.160
<v Speaker 1>my episode with Selena Gomez on befriending your inner critic

0:26:41.600 --> 0:26:44.960
<v Speaker 1>and how to speak to yourself with more compassion. My

0:26:45.080 --> 0:26:48.800
<v Speaker 1>fears are only going to continue to show me what

0:26:48.840 --> 0:26:51.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm capable of. The more that I face my fears,

0:26:51.920 --> 0:26:55.520
<v Speaker 1>the more that I feel I'm gaining strength and gaining wisdom,

0:26:55.600 --> 0:26:57.480
<v Speaker 1>and I just want to keep doing that.