WEBVTT - I Choose...A Mini Moment of Wisdom 

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,

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<v Speaker 1>welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about

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<v Speaker 1>the choices we make and where they lead us. Something

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<v Speaker 1>I love about this podcast is like, I feel like

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<v Speaker 1>we're creating such a beautiful community, and I really feel

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<v Speaker 1>good about that, and I feel good that I really

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<v Speaker 1>get to share all of myself with all of you.

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<v Speaker 1>Through the years, I've really spent a lot of time

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<v Speaker 1>learning and growing and evolving into the me that I

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<v Speaker 1>am now, a me that I've learned to love better,

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<v Speaker 1>and a me that aligns more with what I want

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<v Speaker 1>for my life. And you may know this about me already,

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<v Speaker 1>but I love to share insights with people who are

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<v Speaker 1>curious like I am, and maybe people that are searching

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<v Speaker 1>for meaning and purpose like I was. And I know

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<v Speaker 1>as a mom, my role has been and is to

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<v Speaker 1>guide and teach my girls, and that's always been priority

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<v Speaker 1>number one for me. Today, I want to share a

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<v Speaker 1>little nugget of gold with all of you, something that

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<v Speaker 1>has helped me a lot over the years. Let's talk

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<v Speaker 1>about the wheel sea theory. Have you ever heard the

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<v Speaker 1>Chinese proverb about the farmer who had a son and

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<v Speaker 1>they had a beloved stallion who helped on the farm,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, to earn a living for them. One day,

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<v Speaker 1>the horse ran away, and their neighbors exclaimed, your horse

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<v Speaker 1>ran away, What terrible luck. The farmer replied, maybe so,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe not. We'll see then. A few days later, the

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<v Speaker 1>horse came back, and it had a few like wild

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<v Speaker 1>mayors with it, and the neighbors shower, Your horse came back.

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<v Speaker 1>It came back, and it brought several horses home with him.

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<v Speaker 1>What great luck. The farmer thought for a moment and

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<v Speaker 1>calmly said, maybe so, maybe not, we'll see. Later that week,

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<v Speaker 1>the farmer's son was trying to train one of the

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<v Speaker 1>new horses, and she threw him to the ground, breaking

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<v Speaker 1>his leg. The villagers all came around again, crying, your

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<v Speaker 1>son broke his leg, What terrible luck. The farmer just

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<v Speaker 1>calmly replied, maybe so, maybe not. We'll see then. A

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<v Speaker 1>few weeks later, soldiers from the National Army marched through

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<v Speaker 1>their village, demanding all the able bodied young men to

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<v Speaker 1>come out and fight for their army. And the farmer's

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<v Speaker 1>son wasn't taken because he was still recovering from his injury.

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<v Speaker 1>His neighbor shouted, your boy is spared. What tremendous luck,

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<v Speaker 1>which the farmer calmly replied, maybe so, maybe not. Well, see,

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<v Speaker 1>there's something about that story. It just stuck with me

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<v Speaker 1>and it calmed me. I don't know why. Then, about

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<v Speaker 1>eleven years ago, I was working with a therapist that

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<v Speaker 1>I really loved, and he really helped me during a

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<v Speaker 1>very difficult transition stage in my life after my divorce.

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<v Speaker 1>I was having a lot of trouble getting those feelings

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<v Speaker 1>of rejection and that huge disappointmant of losing my family

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<v Speaker 1>what I had worked so hard to create. I was

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<v Speaker 1>vehemently again stating I thought that seemed like ludicrous to me.

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<v Speaker 1>I always told him I would rather lick Hollywood Boulevard

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<v Speaker 1>than open up myself to the possibility of ever getting

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<v Speaker 1>my heart broken again. Wade, that was my therapist's name.

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<v Speaker 1>He told me to just slow my role because I

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<v Speaker 1>was just going on a date here and there. I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't mean I had no way anything or decide anything.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just practicing. He told me to stop overthinking it,

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, uh, hello, do you even know

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<v Speaker 1>me at all? Overthinking is what I do. He suggested

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<v Speaker 1>I go on a few dates and stop my brain

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<v Speaker 1>from wrapping all around and attaching to whatever I thought

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<v Speaker 1>the outcome would be, and try saying we'll see. We'll

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<v Speaker 1>see how it feels, we'll see if I even like

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<v Speaker 1>this guy at all, We'll see what ends up coming

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<v Speaker 1>from this. Those two words made a world of difference

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<v Speaker 1>for me as I move forward in all aspects of

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<v Speaker 1>my life. Using the will see theory creates a mindset

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<v Speaker 1>where instead of making a definitive choice before you even

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<v Speaker 1>try something, we can opt for a more open ended approach,

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<v Speaker 1>creating space so that time or future events will reveal

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<v Speaker 1>the answer. Maybe you don't have enough information to make

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<v Speaker 1>a firm decision, you might say we'll see as a

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<v Speaker 1>way to avoid committing to a specific choice or an outcome.

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<v Speaker 1>Saying we'll see can give you that extra time if

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<v Speaker 1>you need it, allowing circumstances to unfold in a way

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<v Speaker 1>that a decision will become clear later on, rather than

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<v Speaker 1>forcing an immediate choice. The approach is to wait and observe.

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<v Speaker 1>It's just a way of saying you're not sure, but

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<v Speaker 1>you're okay with not knowing yet. And this can work

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<v Speaker 1>in relationships too. Someone might say we'll see if they're

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<v Speaker 1>not sure about a future together, or they're uncertain about

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<v Speaker 1>how they feel it can work. In business, a person

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<v Speaker 1>might use it to suggest that future performances or outcomes

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<v Speaker 1>will determine whether something works or not. And yeah, write

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<v Speaker 1>it down over and over if you have to say

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<v Speaker 1>it out loud to yourself to stop your mind from

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<v Speaker 1>swirling down the drain of those ruminating thoughts that just

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<v Speaker 1>don't seem to end. It's really about managing your expectations

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<v Speaker 1>and not getting your hopes up. And that's really important

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<v Speaker 1>just for our mental well being. Too much thinking is

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<v Speaker 1>too much stress. I've used this theory not just in

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<v Speaker 1>my life, but I have taught it to my girls

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<v Speaker 1>over and over and over, hoping that sometime in the

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<v Speaker 1>near future will stick and they'll be able to use

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<v Speaker 1>it and believe it and know that that's an option

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<v Speaker 1>for them always to just stop and say we'll see.

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<v Speaker 1>For me, it's a really comforting and freeing way to

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<v Speaker 1>handle things. I don't get wrapped up in the outcome.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm open to whatever happens. I trust and I say,

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<v Speaker 1>we'll see. I use this all the time with my family.

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<v Speaker 1>For instance, one of my daughters, the youngest one, she's

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<v Speaker 1>you know, dating here and there, doesn't want to, but

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes it'll happen and she'll meet somebody and they last

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<v Speaker 1>her out, and she gets so wound up in like

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<v Speaker 1>what if this and what if that? And it's not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna work and he's not gonna like me, I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>gonna like him, and this is there's no point in

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<v Speaker 1>doing this. I have to just calmly sit her down

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<v Speaker 1>and say, babe, just try it and tell yourself, we'll see.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't have to know right now. I have another daughter,

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<v Speaker 1>my oldest daughter, Luca, who is kind of in a

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<v Speaker 1>phase in her career where she's looking to see what's next,

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<v Speaker 1>and she can get wound up tight and sew in

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<v Speaker 1>her head about all of the options and what would

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<v Speaker 1>be the best fit and who should she go with,

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<v Speaker 1>and when should she tell the these persons if she's

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<v Speaker 1>leaving her job. You know, she gets very caught up

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<v Speaker 1>in the end result, instead of just allowing herself to

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<v Speaker 1>be in the flow of whatever is happening for her

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<v Speaker 1>and just telling herself, we'll see how this all works out.

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<v Speaker 1>Because here's the thing, it always works out, and it

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<v Speaker 1>may not feel like that in the moment. It may

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<v Speaker 1>not feel like that for a long time, but in

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<v Speaker 1>the end, it always works out the way it is

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to work out. And I don't really see the

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<v Speaker 1>point in fretting about things, or worrying about things, or

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<v Speaker 1>compulsively thinking through things over and over and over, every outcome,

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<v Speaker 1>every good, every bad. I really feel like it's time

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<v Speaker 1>for us to be gentler on ourselves and kinder to

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<v Speaker 1>ourselves and allow us that space, that grace to just

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<v Speaker 1>let things unravel the way they are supposed to unravel.

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<v Speaker 1>And a great way to do that is practicing the

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<v Speaker 1>willsee theory. I hope it works for you. It has

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<v Speaker 1>worked for me time and time again, and I'm so

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<v Speaker 1>excited to be able to share that with you. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>also really excited to share with you that we have

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<v Speaker 1>rescheduled the I Choose Me LA women's empowerment event that

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<v Speaker 1>we have all been working so hard on. All my

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<v Speaker 1>friends at iHeart, my daughters are helping me with this event,

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<v Speaker 1>and we are very excited to announce our new date

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<v Speaker 1>is a February eighth. It's officially happening at the iHeart

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<v Speaker 1>Theater in Burbank, California. We've got some incredible panelists Naomi Watts,

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<v Speaker 1>Tamsen Fidal, Evet, Nicole Brown, Jackie Tone, Sasha petersa Jen

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<v Speaker 1>trand doctor Eve Glacier and so many more. This is

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<v Speaker 1>going to be an amazing afternoon. The wildfires, of course

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<v Speaker 1>in southern California have been horrific, so we have partnered

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<v Speaker 1>with the Dream Center and we'll be making a donation

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<v Speaker 1>to their organization that is helping with relief efforts. And

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<v Speaker 1>we also are encouraging everybody who comes to the event

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<v Speaker 1>to bring an unwrapped stuffed toy that will be donated

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<v Speaker 1>to a child in need, families that have lost everything.

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<v Speaker 1>So I love that Synergy Tickets around on sale now.

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<v Speaker 1>All info is in our show notes. We're going to

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<v Speaker 1>talk and connect and learn from each other, have lunch.

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<v Speaker 1>It's going to be an incredible day of female empowerment

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<v Speaker 1>and bonding and a day I will never forget. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't wait to see you guys there.