Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone,
Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about
Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. Something
Speaker 1: I love about this podcast is like, I feel like
Speaker 1: we're creating such a beautiful community, and I really feel
Speaker 1: good about that, and I feel good that I really
Speaker 1: get to share all of myself with all of you.
Speaker 1: Through the years, I've really spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: learning and growing and evolving into the me that I
Speaker 1: am now, a me that I've learned to love better,
Speaker 1: and a me that aligns more with what I want
Speaker 1: for my life. And you may know this about me already,
Speaker 1: but I love to share insights with people who are
Speaker 1: curious like I am, and maybe people that are searching
Speaker 1: for meaning and purpose like I was. And I know
Speaker 1: as a mom, my role has been and is to
Speaker 1: guide and teach my girls, and that's always been priority
Speaker 1: number one for me. Today, I want to share a
Speaker 1: little nugget of gold with all of you, something that
Speaker 1: has helped me a lot over the years. Let's talk
Speaker 1: about the wheel sea theory. Have you ever heard the
Speaker 1: Chinese proverb about the farmer who had a son and
Speaker 1: they had a beloved stallion who helped on the farm,
Speaker 1: you know, to earn a living for them. One day,
Speaker 1: the horse ran away, and their neighbors exclaimed, your horse
Speaker 1: ran away, What terrible luck. The farmer replied, maybe so,
Speaker 1: maybe not. We'll see then. A few days later, the
Speaker 1: horse came back, and it had a few like wild
Speaker 1: mayors with it, and the neighbors shower, Your horse came back.
Speaker 1: It came back, and it brought several horses home with him.
Speaker 1: What great luck. The farmer thought for a moment and
Speaker 1: calmly said, maybe so, maybe not, we'll see. Later that week,
Speaker 1: the farmer's son was trying to train one of the
Speaker 1: new horses, and she threw him to the ground, breaking
Speaker 1: his leg. The villagers all came around again, crying, your
Speaker 1: son broke his leg, What terrible luck. The farmer just
Speaker 1: calmly replied, maybe so, maybe not. We'll see then. A
Speaker 1: few weeks later, soldiers from the National Army marched through
Speaker 1: their village, demanding all the able bodied young men to
Speaker 1: come out and fight for their army. And the farmer's
Speaker 1: son wasn't taken because he was still recovering from his injury.
Speaker 1: His neighbor shouted, your boy is spared. What tremendous luck,
Speaker 1: which the farmer calmly replied, maybe so, maybe not. Well, see,
Speaker 1: there's something about that story. It just stuck with me
Speaker 1: and it calmed me. I don't know why. Then, about
Speaker 1: eleven years ago, I was working with a therapist that
Speaker 1: I really loved, and he really helped me during a
Speaker 1: very difficult transition stage in my life after my divorce.
Speaker 1: I was having a lot of trouble getting those feelings
Speaker 1: of rejection and that huge disappointmant of losing my family
Speaker 1: what I had worked so hard to create. I was
Speaker 1: vehemently again stating I thought that seemed like ludicrous to me.
Speaker 1: I always told him I would rather lick Hollywood Boulevard
Speaker 1: than open up myself to the possibility of ever getting
Speaker 1: my heart broken again. Wade, that was my therapist's name.
Speaker 1: He told me to just slow my role because I
Speaker 1: was just going on a date here and there. I
Speaker 1: didn't mean I had no way anything or decide anything.
Speaker 1: I was just practicing. He told me to stop overthinking it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, uh, hello, do you even know
Speaker 1: me at all? Overthinking is what I do. He suggested
Speaker 1: I go on a few dates and stop my brain
Speaker 1: from wrapping all around and attaching to whatever I thought
Speaker 1: the outcome would be, and try saying we'll see. We'll
Speaker 1: see how it feels, we'll see if I even like
Speaker 1: this guy at all, We'll see what ends up coming
Speaker 1: from this. Those two words made a world of difference
Speaker 1: for me as I move forward in all aspects of
Speaker 1: my life. Using the will see theory creates a mindset
Speaker 1: where instead of making a definitive choice before you even
Speaker 1: try something, we can opt for a more open ended approach,
Speaker 1: creating space so that time or future events will reveal
Speaker 1: the answer. Maybe you don't have enough information to make
Speaker 1: a firm decision, you might say we'll see as a
Speaker 1: way to avoid committing to a specific choice or an outcome.
Speaker 1: Saying we'll see can give you that extra time if
Speaker 1: you need it, allowing circumstances to unfold in a way
Speaker 1: that a decision will become clear later on, rather than
Speaker 1: forcing an immediate choice. The approach is to wait and observe.
Speaker 1: It's just a way of saying you're not sure, but
Speaker 1: you're okay with not knowing yet. And this can work
Speaker 1: in relationships too. Someone might say we'll see if they're
Speaker 1: not sure about a future together, or they're uncertain about
Speaker 1: how they feel it can work. In business, a person
Speaker 1: might use it to suggest that future performances or outcomes
Speaker 1: will determine whether something works or not. And yeah, write
Speaker 1: it down over and over if you have to say
Speaker 1: it out loud to yourself to stop your mind from
Speaker 1: swirling down the drain of those ruminating thoughts that just
Speaker 1: don't seem to end. It's really about managing your expectations
Speaker 1: and not getting your hopes up. And that's really important
Speaker 1: just for our mental well being. Too much thinking is
Speaker 1: too much stress. I've used this theory not just in
Speaker 1: my life, but I have taught it to my girls
Speaker 1: over and over and over, hoping that sometime in the
Speaker 1: near future will stick and they'll be able to use
Speaker 1: it and believe it and know that that's an option
Speaker 1: for them always to just stop and say we'll see.
Speaker 1: For me, it's a really comforting and freeing way to
Speaker 1: handle things. I don't get wrapped up in the outcome.
Speaker 1: I'm open to whatever happens. I trust and I say,
Speaker 1: we'll see. I use this all the time with my family.
Speaker 1: For instance, one of my daughters, the youngest one, she's
Speaker 1: you know, dating here and there, doesn't want to, but
Speaker 1: sometimes it'll happen and she'll meet somebody and they last
Speaker 1: her out, and she gets so wound up in like
Speaker 1: what if this and what if that? And it's not
Speaker 1: gonna work and he's not gonna like me, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna like him, and this is there's no point in
Speaker 1: doing this. I have to just calmly sit her down
Speaker 1: and say, babe, just try it and tell yourself, we'll see.
Speaker 1: You don't have to know right now. I have another daughter,
Speaker 1: my oldest daughter, Luca, who is kind of in a
Speaker 1: phase in her career where she's looking to see what's next,
Speaker 1: and she can get wound up tight and sew in
Speaker 1: her head about all of the options and what would
Speaker 1: be the best fit and who should she go with,
Speaker 1: and when should she tell the these persons if she's
Speaker 1: leaving her job. You know, she gets very caught up
Speaker 1: in the end result, instead of just allowing herself to
Speaker 1: be in the flow of whatever is happening for her
Speaker 1: and just telling herself, we'll see how this all works out.
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing, it always works out, and it
Speaker 1: may not feel like that in the moment. It may
Speaker 1: not feel like that for a long time, but in
Speaker 1: the end, it always works out the way it is
Speaker 1: supposed to work out. And I don't really see the
Speaker 1: point in fretting about things, or worrying about things, or
Speaker 1: compulsively thinking through things over and over and over, every outcome,
Speaker 1: every good, every bad. I really feel like it's time
Speaker 1: for us to be gentler on ourselves and kinder to
Speaker 1: ourselves and allow us that space, that grace to just
Speaker 1: let things unravel the way they are supposed to unravel.
Speaker 1: And a great way to do that is practicing the
Speaker 1: willsee theory. I hope it works for you. It has
Speaker 1: worked for me time and time again, and I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to be able to share that with you. I'm
Speaker 1: also really excited to share with you that we have
Speaker 1: rescheduled the I Choose Me LA women's empowerment event that
Speaker 1: we have all been working so hard on. All my
Speaker 1: friends at iHeart, my daughters are helping me with this event,
Speaker 1: and we are very excited to announce our new date
Speaker 1: is a February eighth. It's officially happening at the iHeart
Speaker 1: Theater in Burbank, California. We've got some incredible panelists Naomi Watts,
Speaker 1: Tamsen Fidal, Evet, Nicole Brown, Jackie Tone, Sasha petersa Jen
Speaker 1: trand doctor Eve Glacier and so many more. This is
Speaker 1: going to be an amazing afternoon. The wildfires, of course
Speaker 1: in southern California have been horrific, so we have partnered
Speaker 1: with the Dream Center and we'll be making a donation
Speaker 1: to their organization that is helping with relief efforts. And
Speaker 1: we also are encouraging everybody who comes to the event
Speaker 1: to bring an unwrapped stuffed toy that will be donated
Speaker 1: to a child in need, families that have lost everything.
Speaker 1: So I love that Synergy Tickets around on sale now.
Speaker 1: All info is in our show notes. We're going to
Speaker 1: talk and connect and learn from each other, have lunch.
Speaker 1: It's going to be an incredible day of female empowerment
Speaker 1: and bonding and a day I will never forget. I
Speaker 1: can't wait to see you guys there.