1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, everyone, 2 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about 3 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: the choices we make and where they lead us. Something 4 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:21,159 Speaker 1: I love about this podcast is like, I feel like 5 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 1: we're creating such a beautiful community, and I really feel 6 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: good about that, and I feel good that I really 7 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 1: get to share all of myself with all of you. 8 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 1: Through the years, I've really spent a lot of time 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 1: learning and growing and evolving into the me that I 10 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 1: am now, a me that I've learned to love better, 11 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: and a me that aligns more with what I want 12 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: for my life. And you may know this about me already, 13 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: but I love to share insights with people who are 14 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,360 Speaker 1: curious like I am, and maybe people that are searching 15 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: for meaning and purpose like I was. And I know 16 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: as a mom, my role has been and is to 17 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: guide and teach my girls, and that's always been priority 18 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: number one for me. Today, I want to share a 19 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: little nugget of gold with all of you, something that 20 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: has helped me a lot over the years. Let's talk 21 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: about the wheel sea theory. Have you ever heard the 22 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: Chinese proverb about the farmer who had a son and 23 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 1: they had a beloved stallion who helped on the farm, 24 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 1: you know, to earn a living for them. One day, 25 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:44,679 Speaker 1: the horse ran away, and their neighbors exclaimed, your horse 26 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:49,320 Speaker 1: ran away, What terrible luck. The farmer replied, maybe so, 27 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: maybe not. We'll see then. A few days later, the 28 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 1: horse came back, and it had a few like wild 29 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 1: mayors with it, and the neighbors shower, Your horse came back. 30 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: It came back, and it brought several horses home with him. 31 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 1: What great luck. The farmer thought for a moment and 32 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: calmly said, maybe so, maybe not, we'll see. Later that week, 33 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 1: the farmer's son was trying to train one of the 34 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 1: new horses, and she threw him to the ground, breaking 35 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 1: his leg. The villagers all came around again, crying, your 36 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:32,000 Speaker 1: son broke his leg, What terrible luck. The farmer just 37 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:37,360 Speaker 1: calmly replied, maybe so, maybe not. We'll see then. A 38 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: few weeks later, soldiers from the National Army marched through 39 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: their village, demanding all the able bodied young men to 40 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:50,000 Speaker 1: come out and fight for their army. And the farmer's 41 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: son wasn't taken because he was still recovering from his injury. 42 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,280 Speaker 1: His neighbor shouted, your boy is spared. What tremendous luck, 43 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: which the farmer calmly replied, maybe so, maybe not. Well, see, 44 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:07,800 Speaker 1: there's something about that story. It just stuck with me 45 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: and it calmed me. I don't know why. Then, about 46 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,800 Speaker 1: eleven years ago, I was working with a therapist that 47 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: I really loved, and he really helped me during a 48 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:23,800 Speaker 1: very difficult transition stage in my life after my divorce. 49 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: I was having a lot of trouble getting those feelings 50 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: of rejection and that huge disappointmant of losing my family 51 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: what I had worked so hard to create. I was 52 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 1: vehemently again stating I thought that seemed like ludicrous to me. 53 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: I always told him I would rather lick Hollywood Boulevard 54 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: than open up myself to the possibility of ever getting 55 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: my heart broken again. Wade, that was my therapist's name. 56 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: He told me to just slow my role because I 57 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:58,800 Speaker 1: was just going on a date here and there. I 58 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: didn't mean I had no way anything or decide anything. 59 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: I was just practicing. He told me to stop overthinking it, 60 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: and I was like, uh, hello, do you even know 61 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:12,600 Speaker 1: me at all? Overthinking is what I do. He suggested 62 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: I go on a few dates and stop my brain 63 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: from wrapping all around and attaching to whatever I thought 64 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 1: the outcome would be, and try saying we'll see. We'll 65 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: see how it feels, we'll see if I even like 66 00:04:31,279 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: this guy at all, We'll see what ends up coming 67 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:39,560 Speaker 1: from this. Those two words made a world of difference 68 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: for me as I move forward in all aspects of 69 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:46,599 Speaker 1: my life. Using the will see theory creates a mindset 70 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:49,039 Speaker 1: where instead of making a definitive choice before you even 71 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,400 Speaker 1: try something, we can opt for a more open ended approach, 72 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,480 Speaker 1: creating space so that time or future events will reveal 73 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 1: the answer. Maybe you don't have enough information to make 74 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 1: a firm decision, you might say we'll see as a 75 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: way to avoid committing to a specific choice or an outcome. 76 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:13,040 Speaker 1: Saying we'll see can give you that extra time if 77 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 1: you need it, allowing circumstances to unfold in a way 78 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: that a decision will become clear later on, rather than 79 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: forcing an immediate choice. The approach is to wait and observe. 80 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: It's just a way of saying you're not sure, but 81 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 1: you're okay with not knowing yet. And this can work 82 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:40,520 Speaker 1: in relationships too. Someone might say we'll see if they're 83 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,559 Speaker 1: not sure about a future together, or they're uncertain about 84 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: how they feel it can work. In business, a person 85 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:51,160 Speaker 1: might use it to suggest that future performances or outcomes 86 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: will determine whether something works or not. And yeah, write 87 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 1: it down over and over if you have to say 88 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: it out loud to yourself to stop your mind from 89 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: swirling down the drain of those ruminating thoughts that just 90 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: don't seem to end. It's really about managing your expectations 91 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: and not getting your hopes up. And that's really important 92 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: just for our mental well being. Too much thinking is 93 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 1: too much stress. I've used this theory not just in 94 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 1: my life, but I have taught it to my girls 95 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,279 Speaker 1: over and over and over, hoping that sometime in the 96 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: near future will stick and they'll be able to use 97 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,159 Speaker 1: it and believe it and know that that's an option 98 00:06:36,279 --> 00:06:40,920 Speaker 1: for them always to just stop and say we'll see. 99 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 1: For me, it's a really comforting and freeing way to 100 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,240 Speaker 1: handle things. I don't get wrapped up in the outcome. 101 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:53,440 Speaker 1: I'm open to whatever happens. I trust and I say, 102 00:06:53,880 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: we'll see. I use this all the time with my family. 103 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:08,599 Speaker 1: For instance, one of my daughters, the youngest one, she's 104 00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: you know, dating here and there, doesn't want to, but 105 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 1: sometimes it'll happen and she'll meet somebody and they last 106 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: her out, and she gets so wound up in like 107 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: what if this and what if that? And it's not 108 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: gonna work and he's not gonna like me, I'm not 109 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: gonna like him, and this is there's no point in 110 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 1: doing this. I have to just calmly sit her down 111 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: and say, babe, just try it and tell yourself, we'll see. 112 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: You don't have to know right now. I have another daughter, 113 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,960 Speaker 1: my oldest daughter, Luca, who is kind of in a 114 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 1: phase in her career where she's looking to see what's next, 115 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 1: and she can get wound up tight and sew in 116 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:55,240 Speaker 1: her head about all of the options and what would 117 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: be the best fit and who should she go with, 118 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,680 Speaker 1: and when should she tell the these persons if she's 119 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:05,600 Speaker 1: leaving her job. You know, she gets very caught up 120 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: in the end result, instead of just allowing herself to 121 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: be in the flow of whatever is happening for her 122 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: and just telling herself, we'll see how this all works out. 123 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: Because here's the thing, it always works out, and it 124 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: may not feel like that in the moment. It may 125 00:08:25,560 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: not feel like that for a long time, but in 126 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,680 Speaker 1: the end, it always works out the way it is 127 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 1: supposed to work out. And I don't really see the 128 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:40,200 Speaker 1: point in fretting about things, or worrying about things, or 129 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 1: compulsively thinking through things over and over and over, every outcome, 130 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:49,760 Speaker 1: every good, every bad. I really feel like it's time 131 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:53,679 Speaker 1: for us to be gentler on ourselves and kinder to 132 00:08:53,720 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 1: ourselves and allow us that space, that grace to just 133 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 1: let things unravel the way they are supposed to unravel. 134 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,440 Speaker 1: And a great way to do that is practicing the 135 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: willsee theory. I hope it works for you. It has 136 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: worked for me time and time again, and I'm so 137 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 1: excited to be able to share that with you. I'm 138 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: also really excited to share with you that we have 139 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:31,080 Speaker 1: rescheduled the I Choose Me LA women's empowerment event that 140 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,480 Speaker 1: we have all been working so hard on. All my 141 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:38,960 Speaker 1: friends at iHeart, my daughters are helping me with this event, 142 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,320 Speaker 1: and we are very excited to announce our new date 143 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 1: is a February eighth. It's officially happening at the iHeart 144 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:55,319 Speaker 1: Theater in Burbank, California. We've got some incredible panelists Naomi Watts, 145 00:09:55,800 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 1: Tamsen Fidal, Evet, Nicole Brown, Jackie Tone, Sasha petersa Jen 146 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,760 Speaker 1: trand doctor Eve Glacier and so many more. This is 147 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:09,440 Speaker 1: going to be an amazing afternoon. The wildfires, of course 148 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:12,840 Speaker 1: in southern California have been horrific, so we have partnered 149 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: with the Dream Center and we'll be making a donation 150 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: to their organization that is helping with relief efforts. And 151 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,199 Speaker 1: we also are encouraging everybody who comes to the event 152 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: to bring an unwrapped stuffed toy that will be donated 153 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,640 Speaker 1: to a child in need, families that have lost everything. 154 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 1: So I love that Synergy Tickets around on sale now. 155 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: All info is in our show notes. We're going to 156 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: talk and connect and learn from each other, have lunch. 157 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: It's going to be an incredible day of female empowerment 158 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 1: and bonding and a day I will never forget. I 159 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 1: can't wait to see you guys there.