1
00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:13,320
Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of

2
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,840
Speaker 1: Couch Talks. My name is Kat and I am the host.

3
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:20,159
Speaker 1: If you are new or newer, couch Talks is the

4
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,880
Speaker 1: special bonus episode of You Need Therapy where I answer

5
00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,439
Speaker 1: questions that you guys send in and you can send

6
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:30,720
Speaker 1: those directly to me at Catherine at you Need Therapy

7
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,320
Speaker 1: podcast dot com. Quick reminder before we get into the

8
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:38,199
Speaker 1: juice today that this is not therapy. This is a

9
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:42,520
Speaker 1: podcast and podcasts are not therapy, and therapy or not podcasts.

10
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:47,400
Speaker 1: So shout out to all of my I'm gonna call

11
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:51,240
Speaker 1: you guys attachment warriors who are getting into all things

12
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,760
Speaker 1: attachment with me right now. If you haven't heard, we

13
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,120
Speaker 1: are in the middle of a series all about attachment theory.

14
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,520
Speaker 1: We're going from the basics and we're talking about the

15
00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:04,800
Speaker 1: insecure attachment types and this week we did adult avoidant

16
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,560
Speaker 1: attachment and I'm for sure going to do a Q

17
00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:10,640
Speaker 1: and a episode for this. If you send me in

18
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:14,679
Speaker 1: or you've posted a question so far about attachment um

19
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:15,880
Speaker 1: and you're like dang, and I thought she was going

20
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,440
Speaker 1: to answer them. I'm going to do an episode on

21
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:22,240
Speaker 1: this at the end of the series. I haven't decided

22
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:24,360
Speaker 1: if that's going to be a Couch Talks episode or

23
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:28,000
Speaker 1: full episode, because I'm waiting to see how many questions

24
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,240
Speaker 1: and what that would look like, because we're not trying

25
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,480
Speaker 1: to do a forty five minute couch Talks episode, so

26
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,600
Speaker 1: TVD on that, but definitely send in your questions Catherine

27
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,959
Speaker 1: at You Need Therapy podcast dot com. Also, I want

28
00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:42,600
Speaker 1: to give a shout out to all of the people

29
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:46,840
Speaker 1: who have connected with the post that I made on Instagram.

30
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,280
Speaker 1: If you don't follow me, you can do that on Instagram.

31
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:54,040
Speaker 1: My handle is at cat dot de fata. But I

32
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,480
Speaker 1: posted this thing on Sunday, and it's so funny because

33
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,840
Speaker 1: I was just sitting there. I was about to go

34
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,200
Speaker 1: over to my friend Amy's to record an episode of

35
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,320
Speaker 1: her podcast, and I was just sitting there and I

36
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,720
Speaker 1: had a little bit of time, and I was writing.

37
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:08,639
Speaker 1: I like to write, and one of the things pop

38
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,400
Speaker 1: into my head. I write them down and I just

39
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,960
Speaker 1: decided to post it on Instagram and it messed up

40
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,520
Speaker 1: my grid pattern, like I do two pictures in the quote,

41
00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:18,320
Speaker 1: then two pictures in the quote to make it like

42
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,720
Speaker 1: look pretty. And it was a quote and I had

43
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,760
Speaker 1: just posted a quote, and so it messed up the grid,

44
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,280
Speaker 1: but I was like, whatever, I just want to post this.

45
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,160
Speaker 1: I don't really care, not really thinking that it was

46
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,359
Speaker 1: going to be that big of a deal. I thought

47
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,600
Speaker 1: it would get the same kind of reaction that most

48
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,440
Speaker 1: of my posts get and I don't consider myself to

49
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:38,480
Speaker 1: have a super large Instagram following. However, it's Tuesday right

50
00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:42,000
Speaker 1: now as I'm recording this, and it's been reposted over

51
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:46,120
Speaker 1: nine times in counting, and I'm a little shook by that,

52
00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,280
Speaker 1: and like so many people commented, and if you don't

53
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,919
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about, it was a post about

54
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,760
Speaker 1: what makes a great fitness instructor and talking about how

55
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:56,160
Speaker 1: it's way more about the connection you have and how

56
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,160
Speaker 1: you make people feel than like what we look like

57
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:00,919
Speaker 1: and what our bodies look like. And so many people

58
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,880
Speaker 1: tagged like instructors that they feel embodied this, which I

59
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,800
Speaker 1: that was so cool because it's showing me that there

60
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,959
Speaker 1: are so many people out there that are like promoting

61
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,840
Speaker 1: this goodness. And what this is also telling me is

62
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,760
Speaker 1: that this is a conversation that needs to be had

63
00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:15,200
Speaker 1: and we need to talk about it, and you guys

64
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,920
Speaker 1: want to talk about it. So I am in the

65
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,040
Speaker 1: midst of doing an episode with two fitness instructors in

66
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,040
Speaker 1: Nashville that I really value, and we're going to talk

67
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,840
Speaker 1: about what fitness is, and we're going to create a

68
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:31,160
Speaker 1: conversation around just promoting love and optimal health versus watering

69
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:34,440
Speaker 1: fitness down to a look because it's not. And I

70
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,680
Speaker 1: was talking to my friend Shawna, who is an instructor

71
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,400
Speaker 1: at the studio that I teach at, last night, and

72
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,440
Speaker 1: I was talking to her just about this whole idea,

73
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,560
Speaker 1: and I was sharing with her how frustrating and annoying

74
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,280
Speaker 1: I find it that, like when you talk about like

75
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,600
Speaker 1: fitness models, they're like sometimes the picture of what fitnesses

76
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,400
Speaker 1: and how they all kind of looked the same to

77
00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:59,200
Speaker 1: an extent, And I was like, this is just really

78
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,400
Speaker 1: frustrating be because just because somebody looks some way doesn't

79
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:05,280
Speaker 1: mean that they're actually fit. And I could look another

80
00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:07,080
Speaker 1: way and I could be I could not look like that,

81
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,920
Speaker 1: and I could be fit, and somebody could look like

82
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,840
Speaker 1: that and not be fit. And I mean, speaking for me,

83
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,280
Speaker 1: if I wanted to look like the in quotes typical

84
00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,480
Speaker 1: fitness model, I would have to engage in some really

85
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:20,000
Speaker 1: unhealthy behaviors and that wouldn't be like optimal fitness and health.

86
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:23,160
Speaker 1: And it's just very frustrating to me, very frustrating when

87
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,480
Speaker 1: we water down fitness and health to a look because

88
00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:31,120
Speaker 1: it's just not that. So anyway, it's a mind game.

89
00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:33,120
Speaker 1: We're going to create a conversation around it. We're going

90
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,400
Speaker 1: to create a whole episode about it. So if you

91
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:41,440
Speaker 1: have any questions for me or for any fitness instructor,

92
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to have people on there that do this

93
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,760
Speaker 1: more full time than I do. I just do it

94
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,880
Speaker 1: on the side. Um, So, if you need questions for

95
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,520
Speaker 1: people who work in fitness, or if you just have

96
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,520
Speaker 1: any thoughts or comments or things that you want to

97
00:04:52,520 --> 00:04:55,720
Speaker 1: be discussed about fitness and all that, send those into

98
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,479
Speaker 1: me as well. Catherinet. You need Therapy podcast dot com.

99
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:01,039
Speaker 1: Because this conversation is to be cool. I'm very excited

100
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,560
Speaker 1: about it. I'm gonna let the guests be surprises. I

101
00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,080
Speaker 1: already have them picked out and nailed down, but I'm

102
00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 1: not going to share who they are just yet to

103
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,440
Speaker 1: keep you on your toes. You know, I'm not very

104
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,160
Speaker 1: good at surprises. I'm really good at keeping secrets when

105
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,120
Speaker 1: it comes to my job. I think we really call

106
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:20,320
Speaker 1: that confidentiality. But when stuff like this that doesn't really matter,

107
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,920
Speaker 1: I really have to try hard to like not spoil things.

108
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,840
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna keep it a secret as long as

109
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,800
Speaker 1: I can. It's really not that big of a deal.

110
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,800
Speaker 1: But anyway, shall we get into the question. So each

111
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,560
Speaker 1: week I try to do one question that you guys

112
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,479
Speaker 1: sent into me, and we're going to get right into it.

113
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,800
Speaker 1: So I say, we're gonna get right into it, like

114
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,680
Speaker 1: the episode just started. I've been talking for like five minutes.

115
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:47,040
Speaker 1: Let me read our first question. So oh, also, you're like, Katherine,

116
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,880
Speaker 1: just get to it. I want to remind anybody who

117
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,520
Speaker 1: is new here or just needs a reminder. We keep

118
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,280
Speaker 1: all of the people that send in questions anonymous, whether

119
00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,719
Speaker 1: or not they really care, just because you know, I

120
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,120
Speaker 1: like to keep things. Like I said, I go to confidentiality.

121
00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,480
Speaker 1: So I'm practicing what I just preached about myself. So

122
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:08,560
Speaker 1: this question comes from anonymous. Hi Cat, I am twenty

123
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:10,719
Speaker 1: eight years old and had had the same best friends

124
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,800
Speaker 1: since I was about six years old. It's crazy to

125
00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:15,840
Speaker 1: think about how we've stayed connected through all of our

126
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,200
Speaker 1: life changes. We even went to different colleges and remained

127
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,640
Speaker 1: extremely close throughout that time. We were both each other's

128
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,960
Speaker 1: made slash matrons of honor, and until the past two

129
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,320
Speaker 1: years or so, I would say we haven't really had

130
00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:34,080
Speaker 1: many issues. Well, we would have the occasional friend fight,

131
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:37,000
Speaker 1: but we just kind of agreed on most things throughout

132
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,320
Speaker 1: our whole lives, so we didn't have much to argue about.

133
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,440
Speaker 1: We like the same stuff, we got along with the

134
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:44,760
Speaker 1: same people, so staying friends never really was a problem. Well,

135
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,360
Speaker 1: now it feels like we don't have a lot to

136
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,760
Speaker 1: talk about. I don't really know how to describe it

137
00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,000
Speaker 1: any other way than that we have very different political views,

138
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,080
Speaker 1: and that has been a recent shift after the past

139
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,120
Speaker 1: two years, with everything that's been going on with COVID

140
00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,560
Speaker 1: and the election, what have you. She's more a homebody

141
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,919
Speaker 1: these days and wants to start having kids really soon,

142
00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,240
Speaker 1: like probably yesterday. And I still love going out in

143
00:07:06,279 --> 00:07:09,880
Speaker 1: the weekends and occasionally drinking too much tequila. It almost

144
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,880
Speaker 1: feels like we are keeping our relationship for the sake

145
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:15,400
Speaker 1: of longevity. We still call each other each other's best friend,

146
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,880
Speaker 1: but I don't think either of us really fill that

147
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:22,120
Speaker 1: role anymore. Is this normal? Nothing happened and we still

148
00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,080
Speaker 1: haven't gotten in a fight. I just don't know if

149
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,520
Speaker 1: I should be forcing such a close friendship if I

150
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,000
Speaker 1: don't even think we would be friends if we met today.

151
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,880
Speaker 1: I know I didn't give a lot of detail, but

152
00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 1: I don't really know how to describe this any other

153
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,440
Speaker 1: way than that help me, please. I feel sad and

154
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:39,000
Speaker 1: a little crazy, So I love this question because per usual,

155
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,720
Speaker 1: I bet other people are feeling a version of this.

156
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:44,880
Speaker 1: And if I just want to answer this question very simply,

157
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:49,720
Speaker 1: is this normal that people grow apart? Yeah? Yes, yes, yes, yes,

158
00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,160
Speaker 1: this is very normal. It's very normal for friendships to

159
00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,120
Speaker 1: shift throughout your life because you don't say the same

160
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,920
Speaker 1: your whole life, right, so the people around you might

161
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,640
Speaker 1: not say the same, and they might we've in different

162
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,760
Speaker 1: directions than you, or maybe they do stay the same.

163
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,400
Speaker 1: I don't know. That would be a whole different conversation.

164
00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 1: I come from the belief that people are putting our

165
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,480
Speaker 1: lives at times, for different reasons, for periods of time,

166
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,200
Speaker 1: and not everybody that we create a relationship with has

167
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,880
Speaker 1: to be in our life forever. And that can get

168
00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,080
Speaker 1: really tricky. And I even fall into that sometimes when

169
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:19,680
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I gotta catch up with this person.

170
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:21,120
Speaker 1: I need to catch up with this person, and I

171
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,760
Speaker 1: missed this person. It's like, yeah, I can't catch up

172
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,600
Speaker 1: with every single person I've ever been friends with in

173
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,760
Speaker 1: my life. That's too many people. We only have so

174
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,920
Speaker 1: much capacity for friendship and relationship if we want those

175
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,440
Speaker 1: things to be meaningful. However, but we're not talking about

176
00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:39,520
Speaker 1: right here. That's going on is grief, right, This situation

177
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,000
Speaker 1: involves a lot of grief. This is a relationship you've

178
00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,480
Speaker 1: had for a long time. What might feel like your

179
00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:48,120
Speaker 1: whole life. Like I don't remember much before I was

180
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,280
Speaker 1: six years old, and I remember a lot at six

181
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,200
Speaker 1: years old, So it might feel like this is a

182
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,760
Speaker 1: friend that you've had and called your best friend your

183
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:59,640
Speaker 1: whole entire life. Now here's the thing. The relationship might

184
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,440
Speaker 1: shift shift, Right, You might not be hanging out as

185
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,880
Speaker 1: much and going to her for advice as much or

186
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,640
Speaker 1: processing things with her as much because the way that

187
00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:10,679
Speaker 1: her brain has shifted and what she thinks and believes

188
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,040
Speaker 1: that the world is different, her values are different, so

189
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,640
Speaker 1: you're not going to align on a lot of stuff.

190
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,719
Speaker 1: So the relationship could shift. But I also want to

191
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,440
Speaker 1: encourage people that are experiencing this that a shift in

192
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,000
Speaker 1: a relationship doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship,

193
00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,840
Speaker 1: and it's okay to be friends with someone in a

194
00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,600
Speaker 1: different capacity, and you might always have a special bond

195
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:31,960
Speaker 1: with that person. Like I think you'll always have a

196
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,160
Speaker 1: special kind of bond with this friend of yours because

197
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:36,840
Speaker 1: you've known her for so long and you've been through

198
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:41,200
Speaker 1: so many things together, so that bond doesn't have to disintegrate.

199
00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:43,680
Speaker 1: But you might just be friends in a different capacity.

200
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,560
Speaker 1: And when it comes down to it, it it doesn't really

201
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:48,160
Speaker 1: matter what you call this person, right, Like, you can

202
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,320
Speaker 1: call him your best friend, you can call him your friend,

203
00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:51,959
Speaker 1: you can call him your best friend from high school,

204
00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,760
Speaker 1: you can call him your best friend from childhood. You

205
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,360
Speaker 1: can call him whatever you want. But I don't think

206
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:59,640
Speaker 1: you should have to force yourself to have the same

207
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,959
Speaker 1: kind the relationship that you might have had with this

208
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:05,480
Speaker 1: person when you were eighteen that you have now. You

209
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,840
Speaker 1: don't have to force that. You can just shift it

210
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 1: and just operate in this relationship in a different way. Now,

211
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,480
Speaker 1: there's also room to say that there are relationships that

212
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,079
Speaker 1: do need to end, right, Like, it's okay if a

213
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:20,280
Speaker 1: relationship is becoming toxic. I don't really hear that in

214
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,839
Speaker 1: this email, but who knows. But if a relationship is

215
00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,600
Speaker 1: becoming toxic, you also don't have to stay friends with

216
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,160
Speaker 1: somebody just because you were friends with them. And I

217
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,160
Speaker 1: have two examples of this in my life. More than that.

218
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,319
Speaker 1: But my best friend from like middle school all through

219
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,800
Speaker 1: high school, great friend, awesome person, love her to death,

220
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:42,360
Speaker 1: still friends with her today. However, we have completely different

221
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:46,480
Speaker 1: interests and like doing different things, and she's way more outdoorsy,

222
00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,480
Speaker 1: I would say, and like way less high maintenance than

223
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,400
Speaker 1: I am. I don't know that I'm high in my

224
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:56,199
Speaker 1: high maintenance. That's a different conversation. She's very different in

225
00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:00,600
Speaker 1: certain areas. However, we still when we come together, we

226
00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:04,200
Speaker 1: can connect and talk and reminisce, and if I needed anything,

227
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,760
Speaker 1: I know she would be there. And she's still somebody

228
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,360
Speaker 1: who's very important to me. But I also don't feel

229
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,240
Speaker 1: this like nagging feeling to like make sure that I

230
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:13,400
Speaker 1: catch up with her every single week. I also have

231
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,880
Speaker 1: friends in my life that I was really really close

232
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,680
Speaker 1: with and spent a lot of time with for a

233
00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:20,360
Speaker 1: period of time, and then it got like toxic and

234
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:23,160
Speaker 1: our interests don't aligned so much that I don't feel

235
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,240
Speaker 1: good when I'm with this person, and it's okay to

236
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,000
Speaker 1: walk away from that. I don't have to fix that

237
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,840
Speaker 1: often mend it. I don't have to tell that person

238
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:30,800
Speaker 1: they're doing something wrong. I just have to know that

239
00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,319
Speaker 1: I don't feel good when I'm in contact with them,

240
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,720
Speaker 1: and then I move away. And it's because I do

241
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:38,920
Speaker 1: believe relationships are meant at different times in our life

242
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,480
Speaker 1: to serve different purposes. And that relationship, I think brought

243
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,280
Speaker 1: me to a low so I could like almost recognize

244
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,839
Speaker 1: where I was going. And then I recognized that and

245
00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,200
Speaker 1: I was like, we gotta take a sharp left, and

246
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,000
Speaker 1: I did that. But there's these other relationships that were

247
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,040
Speaker 1: meant for me throughout my childhood. I have so many

248
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,120
Speaker 1: good memories with this other friend I was talking about,

249
00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,880
Speaker 1: and us not being close right now doesn't mean that

250
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:04,160
Speaker 1: just didn't matter. Right. So, in a nutshell, yes, very

251
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:08,080
Speaker 1: normal for this to happen. And also because things are

252
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,280
Speaker 1: shifting doesn't mean you have to kick this person out

253
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:12,640
Speaker 1: of your life. Doesn't mean you have to force something

254
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,839
Speaker 1: that you used to have, and it doesn't mean you

255
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,480
Speaker 1: have to keep something in your life if it's not

256
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,760
Speaker 1: serving you anymore. Things shift and you're a lot of

257
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,679
Speaker 1: shift with them. And this happens so much more than

258
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,520
Speaker 1: I think we realized, because, as I said, I think

259
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,560
Speaker 1: a lot of people are probably like, oh, me too,

260
00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:27,880
Speaker 1: I have one of those friends too, or I know

261
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,520
Speaker 1: what you're talking about, or I feel that too, And

262
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,960
Speaker 1: it's hard. It's hard when you recognize, oh, my best

263
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,080
Speaker 1: friend isn't like actually my best friend anymore. So that

264
00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:38,680
Speaker 1: doesn't like water down what you guys had when you

265
00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:40,920
Speaker 1: were best friends, and it doesn't water down what you

266
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,640
Speaker 1: have with other people in your life because as that

267
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 1: relationship has shifted, you've probably grabbed onto community in other areas.

268
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:52,040
Speaker 1: So it's just hard. Change is freaking hard. Man. Okay,

269
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:53,959
Speaker 1: So thank you for that question, and thank you guys

270
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,720
Speaker 1: for listening. Remember if you have any questions, especially about

271
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,800
Speaker 1: attachment or the fitness stuff I was talking earlier, send

272
00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:04,560
Speaker 1: them to Catherine at UNI Therapy podcast dot com. If

273
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,000
Speaker 1: you want to follow me and you want to see

274
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,360
Speaker 1: that post that I was talking about at cat dot

275
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,320
Speaker 1: de fatah, and if you want to follow the podcast

276
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:16,000
Speaker 1: at Union Therapy Podcast on Instagram. Oh update, I'm working

277
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,520
Speaker 1: on the merch. I have some really cute designs. I

278
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,440
Speaker 1: really hope to have them in the next month, but

279
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:24,240
Speaker 1: the issue now is supply chain stuff. So I have

280
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,480
Speaker 1: what I want, but I can't find the products to

281
00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:30,080
Speaker 1: print them on because everybody's out of everything. So we're

282
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:34,280
Speaker 1: working on it, and uh, i'll keep you updated, but

283
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,760
Speaker 1: they're happening, So have the day you need to have

284
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,640
Speaker 1: and I will talk to you guys on Monday. For

285
00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,280
Speaker 1: the Anxious Attachment episode,